Title: Fast Forward to the Stars
Author: Yukio Sunshaine
Fandom: Nurarihyon no Mago
Pairing: Yoru (Night!Rikuo) and Rikuo Nura (Day!Rikuo)
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I own nothing from Nurarihyon no Mago. I only own the plot! I hope you guys enjoy the ride anyway!
NOTE (PLEASE READ): This fanfic is AU. No incest or anything. They totally live on separate worlds. And yes, this is SHOUNEN-AI.No flames or anything of the sort. I've already warned you.


CHAPTER 20 – PERSONAL DILEMMAS


"Was it me or did anyone feel some kind of weird disturbance last night?" asked Kiyotsugu. Because every morning should always begin with the leader of the Kiyojuji Paranormal Investigation Squad to ask something about his incurable obsession with yokai.

"Yeah, right. As if I'd feel a thing while I was asleep," Saori replied. Like everyone else, she was annoyed by the question from their energetic self-proclaimed leader from their miraculously legitimate group in school.

Natsumi nodded in agreement as she shrugged. "I mean, you dragged us around all day yesterday. Who wouldn't get tired after that?"

And the group discussion continued with Shima's side of the story. "Obviously you'd be the only one who'd claim such an experience. I don't know if you're some kind of chosen one or your obsession with yokai caused you to—"

"I told you, I did not make this up!" Kiyotsugu interjected with that earnest and determined expression on his face. It showed he was genuinely not lying, but it wasn't enough to convince everyone of his claim, except…

Kana timidly joined as she voiced out her own opinion, which greatly surprised everyone. "Ah. Actually, I—"

Kiyotsugu's eyes widened and sparkled in excitement. His eyes shouted, 'Finally, I'm not the only one this time!' "You felt the same thing, Kana-chan?!"

"I guess… I did?" She was hesitant and unsure, but she nodded to confirm that she did indeed felt something strange in the atmosphere the night prior.

Even with Kana backing Kiyotsugu, it still wasn't enough to change everyone else's minds.

"Are you serious, Kana-chan?" Saori scowled, showing her disbelief. Kana-chan, of all people…

"Wait, you weren't asleep last night?" Natsumi asked, surprised instead of being in a state of disbelief like Saori.

"I tried to. But I just felt really worried for some reason, that's all," Kana explained. "It's like as if… something happened."

Just recalling that indescribable and unsettling feeling that she felt last night made her uncomfortable and anxious again. She had hoped it hadn't been a big deal, just paranoia kicking into gear. But when Kiyotsugu brought it up, she felt more nervous about it than ever before.

But Saori had an alternate explanation in mind.

"Are you sure it's not because you're actually worried about Nura-kun?" Saori brought up, the tone of her voice mixed with the classic sarcasm. Because she still couldn't believe she was with Kiyotsugu in this one.

"It's too bad he couldn't come with us. Like, is it me or has gotten busier lately?" Natsumi sighed.

Shima was with Natsumi in this one. "…So I'm not the only one who's noticed that lately," he said in a rather solemn tone.

"Yeah, he hasn't joined any of our investigations lately!" Kiyotsugu exclaimed, instantly breaking the serious atmosphere in the group. He might be part of the group, but he obviously didn't know how to read the atmosphere.

"It's not like that," Natsumi and Saori said in unison.

Nevertheless, Saori gave her two cents about the matter. "He's been hanging out with that best friend of his a lot more lately."

And a playful idea came across Natsumi's mind when Saori shared her point of view as to why Rikuo hung out with them less. "Maybe he wants to keep his 'best friend' to himself," she snickered.

"Huh?" Shima didn't understand what she meant, but Saori did as she went with the flow as well.

"I'm not sure if they can be called 'best friends' at this rate," Saori said as she scratched her cheek. "They spend summer together by themselves? Sounds fishy to me." And once again, Shima looked clueless around the two girls joking around.

But to Kana, they actually gave her the exact answer… sort of.

That might be it, she thought. I might be looking too much into it, but I'm sure I've never seen Rikuo-kun that happy with anyone before. Is that why he doesn't want us to know about him?


"Okay, I've decided," Rikuo announced before Nurarihyon and Yoru as he sat straight on his heels. Nurarihyon was lying on the mat on his side while drinking sake even though it was just morning, while Yoru attentively listened to the brunet as he watched him earnestly.

"I think I want to go back to Ukiyoe."

Nurarihyon raised his cup and sipped to show his instant approval whereas Yoru's jaw dropped slightly, aghast. He turned his head to his own grandfather and then scowled. Shouldn't his own relative be at his side and not Rikuo's?

"Hear me out," Rikuo told to Yoru in particular before the crimson-eyed yokai could voice out his reasons why they shouldn't go back to Ukiyoe, especially after what had happened last night. "I don't want Mom to worry. I want her to see that I'm okay. Besides, we've already had our share of fun and enjoyment of summer vacation here in Kyoto. I'll keep the memories close to my heart." He nodded. "I guess the lesson learned here is to move forward and aim to become stronger than ever before, not just for yourself—but for the Hyakki Yako, for the world, and for the ones you love the most. I want to do my part in this clan, but I also have another life to focus on. Um…" He nervously gazed at the current leader of the Hyakki Yako, whose arms were crossed and eyes were narrowed. "I hope you can consider my decision, Yoru."

That was fast. Rikuo acted like nothing happened last night. It should have been this way all along, but Yoru was still busy being tormented by his own thoughts filled with nothing but guilt and regret. He blamed no one but himself for his overprotectiveness towards Rikuo. Besides, the brunet also made very valid points. He was oddly straightforward about it.

Indeed, there was no use staying in a place where he could recall his shame in defeat against the damned Hagoromo Gitsune. It would be nice to go back so he could clear his head in order 'to move forward and aim to become stronger', as Rikuo had just mentioned.

It was good news that Rikuo came to terms towards everything on a presumably positive note, while on the other hand, Yoru was still on the process of actually coming to terms towards everything that happened the night prior. Yoru could definitely use some of Rikuo's optimism.

That sounded strange: Rikuo actually being more confident and optimistic than Yoru, the supposed leader of the Hyakki Yako, one of the most notorious yakuzas in the underworld. Thinking about that made him even feel more pathetic about himself than usual. He wanted to get a grip, but his own mind and heart wasn't letting him.

He could take Rikuo's word for it and aim to become stronger than any other yokai in existence. He had all the potential, because he wouldn't have led an army of yokai if he wasn't deemed strong by others.

It was like Rikuo was at a distance, reaching out his hand for him to hold and grab onto, but countless shadows held him back to move on and move forward from his mistakes. In short, Yoru was yet to reach the light at the end of the tunnel, not with all these burdening feelings eating him alive.

What felt like an eternity of self-loathing and self-pity was only actually a minute when Yoru saw two pairs of eyes watching him with curiosity.

Nurarihyon knew what his grandson's deal was, but Yoru knew that to get over this, he should get over this personal internal dilemma on his own. Rikuo felt concerned and just wanted to hug the other, and apologize for being selfish and bringing it up in the first place, especially after what Yoru did for him. But he was going to wait for Yoru's answer to his request first.

Yoru sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine, but I'm doing this for Mother so she could stop worrying." He then gazed at the Rikuo. "And… because you said so, Rikuo."

Both the sodaisho and the brunet's eyes widened in surprise, but of different reasons.

"Thanks, Yoru." Rikuo smiled and pulled Yoru into a hug. Yoru felt warmth, but his conflicted feelings only made him feel half of the warmth and love from the brunet. "I'm sorry if I'm asking too much from you again. I just felt like it was the best thing to do after what happened."

"It is the best thing to do after what happened." Yoru caressed Rikuo's hair with a smile on his face. "Let's get stronger together, alright?"

Rikuo smiled back. "You bet!"

The scene was adorable and romantic for the most part, but Nurarihyon felt like he could explode at any moment. Instead of unleashing his fury at the couple, he gave them the space they needed and went outside to sit somewhere else. He could sit anywhere, as long as Yoru was out of his kicking distance. Anyone around him could feel his flaring aura, and no one dared approached the enraged sodaisho.

He gritted his teeth as he drank more sake to calm his nerves. "I never thought he'd stoop that low. And to think that damn boy is actually my grandson," he muttered to himself. "Hmph. I'd rather have no grandsons than have a weak pathetic runt like him."

Meanwhile, the two have already pulled away from their warm embrace to discuss about the trip back to Ukiyoe. Yoru could have more of Rikuo's magical touches later after everything had been settled. It was all about Rikuo's needs, and not his.

"So, when do you want to go back?" Yoru asked. "I'll be accompanying you if you're going to take the trai—"

"I think I'll ride on the dragon with you this time," Rikuo replied as he looked up timidly at the other. "If you don't mind, that is." He paused and recalled that Yoru asked another question. "Also, um… I'll just get ready. I hope we can leave as soon as possible? The more I stay here, the more Mom will be worried, y'know?"

"Excellent. We have less to worry about now," Yoru nodded with a relieved smile across his features. "Prepare your things while I tell the old man and the rest of the clan that we're heading back."

Rikuo nodded. "Right."

Yoru nodded back and was just about to leave the room when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist. He glanced behind his shoulder and looked down at Rikuo. The brunet buried his face on the other's back to hide his embarrassment and shame.

"Thank you, Yoru," he groaned. "I'm sorry for being so selfish. You have no idea how grateful I am to be part of your life…"

Where did that come from? he thought as his lips parted into a smile from the charming words from the charming boy he fell head over heels for. He turned around and cupped Rikuo's chin. He could clearly see the want in Rikuo's eyes, making him smirk even wider in amusement.

"What are you talking about? You can be selfish with me all you want. Just let me be selfish with you in return," he whispered in a low voice, sending shivers down Rikuo's spine. He wanted to slap himself in the face because intimate moments with his lover usually did the trick, but that didn't matter. Rikuo wanted it, and he wanted it…

And that was all it took for them to trade passionate kisses.

They were clearly hungry for one another to the point Yoru pushed Rikuo down on the floor. For once, Rikuo didn't mind the impact and welcomed the yokai with open arms and with more kisses. If they were this hungry, Yoru thought of taking their kisses to another level. He expected to be pushed away by the brunet after his attempt of kissing with tongue, but to his shock, Rikuo didn't resist and even moaned out sounds of pleasure.

Yoru already noticed Rikuo being needier with the kisses, but he never thought he would be this needy. Now that was one change in Rikuo that he didn't mind at all.

Both of them pulled away as they took in big gulps of air before greedily crashing their lips against each other once again for the nth time.

Wow, was all Yoru managed to eloquently think of during the intense make-out session with Rikuo. He didn't know how and when this would end. Would they ever go back to Ukiyoe if they were trapped in each other's lips and arms like this?

Yoru badly wanted to take things further now that they were in heat, but he wanted to save the best for last. He had all the time in the world to wait for that. So for now, he immensely enjoyed and savored the taste of Rikuo's lips.

After a few minutes, their bodies gave in as they laid their backs on the floor, covered in sweat and panting heavily as if they ran for miles and miles.

"What's with that?" Yoru asked with a chuckle in between wheezy gasps. "Are you testing my patience? Trust me, you don't want to do that, Rikuo."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I really don't know, to be honest," Rikuo replied, chuckling back. "But I'm pretty sure that when we're up and around again, recalling even one moment from what happened just now will make my face explode."

Yoru snickered. "Heh. That, I can't wait." They stared into each other's eyes happily for a minute or two before a voice in the crimson-eyed yokai's head reminded him of what he was going outside for. He sighed as he sat up. "I should tell the old man that we're leaving today now…" He smirked. "Unless you want more."

Rikuo's face flushed as he rolled his eyes, as if he said, 'As if.'

"You can just say you want it out loud, y'know? We've already been together for quite some time now. It's nothing to be embarrassed about anymore," he reminded with an amused expression on his face.

"Hmph. Yeah, right." It seemed that there were some things that were difficult to change, even with literal change of species.

This was how things between them usually went. And Yoru felt like he was turning back to his old self now, but as soon as those haunting memories returned, so did his inferiority and guilt complex. Hello, darkness old friend.

"…See you in a bit, love." Yoru slid open the door and stepped outside, relieved and disappointed that Rikuo didn't pull him back for the second time. But he thought this was better, the sooner they went back to Ukiyoe, the better.

He looked around the hallway and felt that something was off. As he felt like he was near the presence of Nurarihyon, he had to step back. The aura being given off by his grandfather was deadly. What's gotten the old man so mad? he thought as he proceeded to continue walking towards the sodaisho's location without hesitation. No more sake? Impossible. He managed to humor himself a little before unknowingly being kicked hard in the torso, sending him flying across the garden. He slammed his back on an ancient tree that was sure to leave a huge bruise on his back for two days.

Yoru hissed as he rubbed his back, glaring at the criminal himself, Nurarihyon. The older leader stood before him, his pipe in between his lips and his eyes shining with anger towards his own grandson.

"What the hell, old man?!" the crimson-eyed yokai growled. "What did you do that for?!"

Nurarihyon didn't look like his trademark happy-go-lucky and carefree self. He looked and was dead serious. Whatever set him off was the real deal.

He might be the grandson, but Yoru felt like he could be murdered by his own grandfather any moment from now. He swallowed as unsettling silence hung in between the two.

"I cut you some slack for being Rikuo's number two." Nurarihyon's words stung, but he didn't stop there. "But for you to be actually under his command? Really?"

Yoru clicked his tongue. He wasn't having more of the old man's bull. "What're you—"

Nurarihyon mimicked Yoru's expression from earlier. "…'And because you said so, Rikuo'," the tone mocked Yoru's affection towards the brunet. "Are you kidding me? My grandson would never say that!" From burning anger, his eyes then showed pity towards the younger. "Have you no pride left in you? I know you're going through your existential crisis or whatever, but come on. You can do better."

Surprisingly, Yoru hadn't actually noticed he uttered such a thing. It might have been a Freudian slip of his since the last thing he wanted to express was what he truly felt inside. Once he realized the meaning of his words, he felt like he deserved more kicks from Nurarihyon. He was certain he was himself during the heated kisses he shared with Rikuo earlier, but that's about it.

He was letting the incident last night get to him too much. That was a light way of putting it. It had only been one event, but from the looks of it, it had changed him good… in the worst way possible.

The underboss clenched his fists and wanted to apologize for being so weak in front of his mighty grandfather, but he would just earn another kick from it. Actions spoke louder than words. He bit his lip so hard it bled. He cast a deadly glare at Nurarihyon, his aura showing just as much "fear" as the older male did.

"…We're heading back to Ukiyoe today. Get everyone ready." He stomped off to spend more time with his beloved.

Nurarihyon pursed his lips and smiled in relief. "Well, that's a relief. I thought his fire was as good as gone."

He truly was infuriated by the way Yoru acted that he wanted to beat him senseless into a pulp— though in a way, this was also how he showed his care and affection towards his blood kin. He did his part, and now it was up to Yoru to determine his own future.

Yoru almost forgot his lip bled until he tasted it. He stood before Rikuo's room and wiped it off with his sleeve. He thought he heard voices talking just now, but maybe it was those onmyojis. He then entered unannounced as usual…

But before him was the unexpected: Most of the members of his clan were inside the room, making a fuss about what happened to Rikuo. For many, it was their first time meeting the brunet. Tsurara and Zen looked panicked and nervous as they sat the closest to the brunet.

Rikuo was glad to meet the rest of the clan, but wasn't the timing too early? One of them even proposed a drinking binge to celebrate the addition of the former human into the clan. But as soon as they announced it, a voice chimed in.

"We can celebrate when we get back to Ukiyoe," Nurarihyon said with crossed arms, and thankfully, with a smile back on his face. "Seems like this is where most of you went to. Sneaky bastards."

"Eh? We're already going back? What about Hagoromo Gitsune?"

Yoru's eye twitched at the mention of that name. He should make it a rule to forbid that name from being said by anyone in the clan.

"There are many reasons," Nurarihyon answered for Yoru as his eyes glazed over at Rikuo. "Besides, the next time we come back here, we'll be stronger than ever. We have a new addition to our clan, after all. Who knows how much potential the boy has?" One thing was for sure, he couldn't wait to see what Rikuo was made of.

The sandaime was surprised that a thought like that never crossed his mind until now. He was too caught up in his own personal dilemmas he hadn't realized there were so much more important things to focus on, like Rikuo's abilities as a yokai. He had already witnessed the brunet's remarkable improvement in sword combat last night. Being bathed in the blood of a thousand yokai meant a thousand possibilities; limitless potential.

"The battle's just begun," Yoru added as he nodded at his grandfather. "We'll make sure she stays in Hell this time. The world can't have two rulers. This one's mine." As his lips turned upward into a smirk, his clan cheered and roared.

At that moment, Nurarihyon could see the grandson he was proud of, while Rikuo grinned widely and felt just as proud. Yoru felt proud of himself too, but there was a part of him that felt anxious and dread for the upcoming days ahead. He suspected it was his paranoia, but his instincts were rarely ever wrong.

If it was another challenge to face head on, then he had one thing to say.

Bring it.


The onmyojis felt relieved that the annoying yokais were leaving the household so they could get their peace and quiet. Hidemoto, Yura and a couple more onmyojis saw them off. Rikuo and Yura particularly stared at one another before the two leaders and Rikuo rode on the dragon as they took off to the sky. The dragon had scales that could help it blend in any kind of background or environment, even the sky itself.

Rikuo was terrified of the ride at first, even wrapping his arms around Yoru to make sure he wasn't going to fall off. Later, he realized it was just like riding an airplane, excluding the roof. He could actually get to touch clouds with bare hands, even though he knew clouds were simply evaporated droplets of water.

"The view's really amazing, isn't it, Yoru?" Rikuo pointed out excitedly, glancing down below. His childlike fascination and admiration amused Yoru.

Yoru had seen this view countless of times, so he was used to it. Still, he nodded. "Agreed. But there's a certain view that I never cease to be amazed at no matter how many times I look at it."

Now that piqued Rikuo's curiosity and interest. "Really? What is it? Will we pass by it soon?" he asked. His obliviousness made Nurarihyon chuckle. This made the brunet's head turn to oldest. "Huh? You know it too, Nurarihyon-sama?"

"Hmmm… my favorite view's different from his, but essentially we have the same preference."

Rikuo blinked and cocked his head to the side. "Huh? I don't get it—"

Yoru pulled Rikuo close and smiled warmly. "You are my favorite view, Rikuo." The line worked effectively as red flooded across the brunet's cheeks.

"O-Oh…" He buried his head in the crimson-eyed yokai's chest as Nurarihyon grinned widely at the lovebirds like the Cheshire Cat. "Why did you have to say it in front of Nurarihyon-sama?" The question was whispered only for Yoru to hear.

"Just felt like saying it, is all," Yoru coolly uttered. "Geez. You're still shy about this? This isn't some high school romantic drama." Rikuo frowned, but was surprised as his cheek was cupped by the other. "Ours is the tale of a lifetime." He smiled wider. "I'm looking forward to turn every page of this story with you, Rikuo."

Rikuo groaned and just wanted to melt in embarrassment. He could bear the heart-throbbing lines from Prince Charming/Yakuza Lord Yoru if they were alone, but with someone else watching them… He wished he had been able to acquire the power of invisibility from one of the generous yokai that donated their blood for his transformation. Maybe he could ask blood from the dragon they rode in?

He internally rolled his eyes and cringed at his own morbid joke. Very funny, Rikuo. He then meekly glanced at the two Nurarihyons, and felt relieved that the atmosphere was as normal as it should be.

There was no use looking back, what mattered was looking forward.

He had enough time last night to think about what he was going to do with his life from now on. And he came to a decision to juggle both his lives. He knew he could just as well adjust to it soon with time.

And unexpectedly, Rikuo felt anxious about heading back to Ukiyoe just like Yoru. It was too late to go back to Kyoto now, particularly after requesting too much from the crimson-eyed yokai. He knew the other's kindness shouldn't be taken for granted.

Besides, he really didn't want his dearest mother to worry about him anymore. She must already know about everything that had happened. Why else would she go back to Ukiyoe?

Perhaps he should tell about it to Yoru after reassuring his mother he was fine.


"Rikuo!" Wakana cried as she wrapped her arms around her only son. It was already late in the afternoon when they arrived at the Nura household. "Are you alright? Did you get into a fight again? Did you break any bones?" She sighed as she firmly gripped Rikuo's shoulder. "You had me worried sick, young man! I didn't get any sleep last night because of you!"

As expected of a mother, showing genuine relief accompanied with the usual scolding. The last time they saw each other was last night, but Rikuo missed this. Maybe it had something to do with his transformation, as if his human life happened a lifetime ago.

"I'm alright, Mom. Yoru was there for me again," he said. And speaking of Yoru, he was standing next to Rikuo this entire time.

Rikuo didn't actually want to say that nothing happened to him because it would make him a liar to his own mother. Saying nothing was better than lying. He wasn't going to keep her in the dark like this for long, though. One way or another, he was going to tell her everything.

Wakana slapped Rikuo's back, startling the brunet as she turned her head and beamed at Yoru. She saw the crimson-eyed teen smile back, but she felt that something was off with his smile. He was pompous and confident. How else would he be able to win Wakana's favor? She could clearly see how much Yoru loved her son, and Rikuo loved him back.

But for some reason, she couldn't see that side of Yoru. Before she focused on her son's beloved, she noticed something different about Rikuo. She cupped her son's cheeks and stared into his eyes. Yoru and Rikuo shared the same surprised expression on their faces at Wakana's sudden action.

"What happened to your eye, Rikuo?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at both boys.

"Ah, er…" Rikuo stammered. Shoot. I forgot all about it... And now, he had exactly two seconds to think of an excuse. "It's just contact lens." He blinked. "Wait. Did you just mean one of my eyes has a different color?" He paused. "Crap. The other piece must have fallen out during the trip back or something."

Yoru puckered his lips and nodded, expressing how impressed he was. Nice one, he thought. Wait, what's a contact lens? He had to be educated about that soon. And by soon, he meant he was going to ask Rikuo about that after this.

"Guess Yoru-kun rubbed off on you, hm?" Wakana chuckled as she tucked hair behind Rikuo's ear. Rikuo smiled bashfully, but then she pulled his cheek as she wore an angry smile. Rikuo knew that too well as her smile of terror. "But I won't stand for this. I'm too young to lose hairs because of you. So for your sake, you're not going anywhere this summer."

Rikuo's jaw dropped, but he nodded and accepted the inevitable. There was no use arguing. "Fine," he sighed. He glanced at Yoru, making the yokai blink in curiosity. Well, at least I have Yoru to spend the summer with. He couldn't help but smile at the thought. Who's to say summer in Ukiyoe can't be as fun as other places?

Wakana patted Rikuo's shoulder as she grinned at her self-proclaimed future son-in-law. "Stay over for dinner, Yoru-kun. I insist. As thanks for helping my stubborn Rikuo here for the millionth time!" Rikuo rolled his eyes and groaned in embarrassment as he buried his face in his palm. Did she have to rub that in on the brunet's face?

Yoru's lips curved into a sly smile. "Heh. I'd love to, Mother."


It was already night when dinner finished. Rikuo and Yoru washed the dishes while Wakana sat down at the floor with the view of the small but scenic garden. The cherry blossom tree and its petals fluttering in the wind was always a calming and pleasant sight to see.

She glanced at the boys and felt delighted to see them having fun. But the more she looked at Yoru, the more she saw that something was different about Yoru compared to their last encounter.

Her maternal instincts could see through the slightest differences in personalities of people she was closest to. Her instinct developed more over the years she took care of Rikuo. She even knew Rikuo still hadn't told her everything. There must be a reason, so she was going to wait until he willfully opened up about it. She was always ready to lend an ear to her dearest son, same for Yoru.

But for now, there was no greater joy than seeing the two, especially Rikuo, alright.

"I'm just going to change upstairs," Rikuo called out to Wakana. Wakana hummed as the brunet went upstairs. She knew he was in his room as she heard him close the door.

With Rikuo upstairs in his room, that left her and Yoru downstairs. This was the perfect opportunity to find out what was troubling the crimson-eyed teen. And in a way, an opportunity to get to know him better too. For her, the boy was a walking enigma. Unpredictable, charismatic and peculiar.

"Yoru-kun," she called out to him.

"Yes, Mother?"

"Sit beside me, will you?"

Yoru nodded as he walked towards her, then sat beside her afterwards.

They shared a comfortable silence together as they looked at the cherry blossom petals dance along with the wind. Cherry blossoms always gave Yoru pleasant memories, mostly memories shared with Rikuo. But this wasn't what he looked at the cherry blossoms for. He gazed at Wakana with a look of bemusement on his features.

"What is it that you wanted to talk about?" Yoru asked.

"Hmmm…" Wakana tapped her finger on her chin. "I've just noticed something's different about you compared to before."

"Really? How so?" Yoru didn't know if he should be surprised or nervous. As far as he knew, Nurarihyon was the only one who sort of knew what he was actually going through. Family knew family best.

"If I may be frank with you, my dear… Your smiles look pretty fake to me, as if you're hiding pain deep down."

Yoru's eyes widened. She was spot-on with her first guess. He was so shocked he laughed. "Is that so? Who am I to deny you, Mother?" Since he was already regarded as Wakana's son, perhaps the "family knew family best" idea counted here as well. He leaned forward and laced his fingers together. "I didn't mean to. I didn't want anyone else to worry, especially Rikuo. It's something I have to cope with by myself."

He felt a hand on his back. It was like the same magic touch from Rikuo, except that it was from his own mother.

"You don't have to bear the pain all by yourself, Yoru-kun. Sometimes, you just have to talk to someone about it. Letting it out is better than keeping it in." Wakana's words were as soothing, pure and fleeting as the cherry blossom petals swaying with the wind. "Just tell me what's gotten you like this. You don't have to tell me every single detail."

Yoru's mouth parted but no words came out. He was speechless. He never had this kind of experience with anyone before, so he had no clue what to do and what to feel. He really never talked about his feelings with anyone before because he didn't need to until now. He took a deep breath before he finally shared the important points of the story behind his change with Wakana.

Wakana listened attentively to every word Yoru spoke as she nodded from time to time.

"As much as I know that I should get my act together again, my subconscious won't let me. I tried my hardest, but I always have to remind myself how much of failure I am to have let an incident happen to Rikuo again." Yoru looked strained, his true colors finally showing. "I think I'm even jealous of Rikuo for being more determined, optimistic and straightforward than me all of a sudden. It's as if we swapped personalities or something. I want to join that bandwagon with him, I really do. But as long as I have those thoughts looming over me like a dark cloud, I just…" He growled, clenching his fists. "I want to go back to the way I was, Mother. Is that too much to ask?" Never had he looked so emotionally vulnerable in front of someone before. Not even Nurarihyon had seen this side of his own grandson.

She nodded and reached out to his hands. She pulled his hands apart as she rested her one hand over Yoru's. Yoru stared at their hands before staring at her, wide-eyed. Nevertheless, her touch sent a silent message, assuring him that he was going to be fine; that everything was going to work out eventually.

"You can't ask for the past to become the present, Yoru-kun. But you can ask for the present to become the future." She smiled comfortingly. "It's good you're already well-aware of your mistakes instead of denying them. It's okay to be down because of a failure. Everyone makes mistakes. But keep in mind that not everyone learns from their mistakes. But do you know what's good about it?" She paused, taking amusement in Yoru's expression showing awe and wonder. "This helps you become a better person." Yoru felt his heart throb from overwhelming relief. "The reason why you're thinking about it so much is because you want to know how to avoid making that mistake again. It shows how much you really care and love Rikuo. And I, for one, am grateful to have you in our lives, Yoru-kun."

Her last line reminded of Rikuo saying that exact line before they kissed earlier. Like mother, like son, I guess.

Yoru was at a loss for words the second time. Her words were like light that helped vanquish the darkness consuming him from the inside. He couldn't help but smile and pull her into a hug. "Thank you, Mother. I'll keep your words of wisdom close to my heart. Words cannot express how much you've helped me and how grateful I am to have met you." Especially since she was the only mother he truly ever had.

Wakana hugged back happily, smiling proudly at her accomplishment. "The feeling's mutual, Yoru-kun."

On the other hand, Rikuo walked downstairs after he changed clothes and fixed his room in an impulse. He was about to call the two when his peripheral vision saw them in an embrace. His eyes widened as he hid himself from their view behind the wall.

He was flabbergasted. He had never seen Yoru wearing such an emotionally vulnerable expression on his face before. He wondered what they talked about that led them to hug each other. Though he knew it was something he didn't know about.

Yoru? Hiding something from Rikuo? Impossible! …Or was it?

Good thing he hadn't accidentally eavesdropped on them, despite the thought being tempting. He took a small peek from behind the wall and saw the same expression on Yoru's face as the two became happily immersed in a conversation.

Rikuo felt a pang of pain in his heart as he decided to head back upstairs. He didn't want to interrupt and ruin the moment for them.

Yoru wasn't the only one with personal dilemmas.


Author's Note: YOOOOOOOOOO it's been half a year! I am incredibly sorry. But I finally managed to write an update in my short five-day vacation. I'm already in my last year of college so expect me at my busiest hehe.

The ideas for the chapter was brought into fruition a few weeks ago when I randomly wrote an outline for this chapter. It had been the first time in a while that I was able to manage to write a chapter without drawing a comic for it. I pulled it off! It's a thousand words shorter, but I felt like this was the best way to end a chapter— through another conflict, of course! –Insert sadistic laugh here-

I apologize if the chapter is a bit slow in terms of pacing. I just wanted to insert as much development as much as possible! I already have plenty of ideas for the next chapters, so I just hope I'll have the time and motivation to write another chapter again soon.

And again, thank you soooo much to everyone who faved, followed and reviewed to what began as a fanfic that I did out of an impulse. It's been such an important part of my life now hehe. I'm glad many like this as much as I do. I hope ya'll keep on supporting me in the future! ALSO WOW 20TH CHAPTER! –throws confetti and sparkles all around-

xoxo