Chapter 6 - Dancing On Quicksand
"Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires."
~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Weeks had gone by since Big Levi Johnston abducted Enos. Today had been his first day back on duty and the townsfolk had eagerly embraced his return. His blithe smile was no longer forced when people asked if he was all right. Things in Hazzard hadn't quite returned to normal, but things at the Circle M Ranch had undergone an amazing change.
Enos sat near the bottom of the porch step and gazed at the generous sprinkling of stars against the rich black sky. These days he knew where his tiny maiden could be found. Hours of stimulating conversation and tender embraces awaited him in the garden, but a question had kept him here since he arrived home a half hour ago. Should he join his beautiful girlfriend now or take the fourth cold shower of the day first?
Making up for all that lost time had re-stitched the threads that brought them together in the first place. They had yet to run out of things to talk about and Enos had several favorite topics that he liked to revisit. He hung on every word when Jenny spoke of her childhood in Scotland. Her face would beam like the sun and he understood why Drake and Jaxon called her precious. The stories about her Gran were particularly endearing, as were the antics Finn and Drake pulled to get themselves into trouble.
In the quiet moments, they would share other things they missed, such as passionate kisses and warm caresses. Those other things were testing the boundaries of Enos's gentlemanly behavior. Natural urges he once so tightly controlled, now begged for Jenny's feminine attention. He wasn't granted reprieve even in his sleep. Knowing she slumbered just down the hall kept his dreams rather vivid.
When Jenny first returned, the starved man put on the brakes when necessary. A hasty retreat, a cold shower, or a heavy workout would take care of the consequences. Enos expected the hunger to subside a bit over time, but their romance had taken root and his feelings for Jenny fed his appetite.
An insatiable monster was now demanding to be fed and Enos's repeated denials were becoming a problem. The monster's revenge for the lack of attention was to do very painful things to his manhood. Enos had never been so tempted to misbehave in his life. He also couldn't recall being quite so scared of losing someone he cared for.
Jenny was an extraordinary, loving soul. She adorned Enos's life like a beautiful jewel and inhabited an equally exquisite body. Being together was as simple as breathing and the last few weeks had been the happiest of his life. Jenny MacFarland was the one. He was madly in love and wanted to stake his claim, but numerous fears held him back.
Enos was terrified of saying the "L" word. Jenny looked at him like he was the only man in the world. He could see their future in her eyes like a living, breathing thing, but she hadn't told him she loved him either. The last time he told a woman he loved her, it wasn't returned and he was left behind.
It hurt like hell to see Daisy with other men. His heart bore the scars from willingly pining away for her over the years. Painful images of other men taking what should have been his at the time were burned into his mind. If he had sampled the goods, his soul would have been trapped in the quicksand and suffocated along with his heart. Just the idea of another man's hands on Jenny made his stomach clench in agony and awakened a jealous part of him he didn't know existed.
He staggered away from the porch and crossed the yard as he contemplated dancing over the quicksand with Jenny. Enos would wait until a ring was on her finger before he joined with her as one, if she would have him, but the monster wanted an appetizer. If he were to gaze upon her physical charms or feel the soft skin of her curves beneath his fingertips, would it hurt that much more if he lost her?
Lately Enos had meandered dangerously close to the mire with Jenny in his arms and nearly crossed the ever-dissipating line of honorable behavior. What if he let the hunger rule and gave over to his physical desires? Would it be so bad if she took him over the moon? What if they touched the stars together, or shared pure bliss? Could he risk losing her to Monroe's evil threats after that? What if she ran away from him again? Did he really want to risk knowing such delight just to lose her?
A glaring fact arose from the confusing abyss in his mind. Jenny held the power. Enos's heart was hers to cherish, or hers to use and destroy. Love and hate, pain and pleasure, they were opposite sides of the razor's edge. That delight would turn sharp and bleed his soul dry if she left him with such memories.
That was precisely why he wouldn't cross the line. The monster would just have to starve.
While Enos had been pondering the future, the monster had guided his footsteps to the garden to seek the pathway to the heavens. Cicadas and crickets serenaded the night, the sweet smell of honeysuckle wafted on the air, and the soft light of a lantern outlined his maiden in a lovely silhouette. She lounged on a blanket, the natural bronze highlights in her hair shimmering with each stroke of her brush. His heart whammed against his chest when she put the brush aside to take on a pose that would bring any man to his knees.
Her hands pressed into the ground behind her and she reclined to allow her head to fall back with a content sigh. Enos froze in place and willed the monster to behave. His throat went dry, blood pumped through a body aching and throbbing with need. Jenny wore a dress … a flowing, white-chiffon, sundress, with delicate little straps that he could easily slip off her tan shoulders. He gulped when he pictured doing just that … with his teeth.
His eyes perused slowly along the line of her throat to the tightly stretched fabric of her bodice. The way she was poised bathed her generous décolleté in the moonlight. He bit back a moan when she took a deep breath and the dramatic swells peeked further above the neckline. His eyes moved lower when a knee slowly came up from the ground. The lightweight hem tumbled down to expose a well-defined thigh.
He should've taken that cold shower.
The monster howled and Enos's voice avowed the absolute truth his mind had yet to comprehend. He didn't realize he said it out loud. "Mine. She's mine, she's only mine."
Jenny knew he was there. She watched him pull into the gate a half hour ago, but was perplexed by his strange behavior the last few days. The love burned like a pillar of fire in his eyes, but things would only go so far before he would choke up and bolt away. Something was going on with him and tonight she wouldn't let him go until she figured it out. She needed to talk to him first, so she dialed down the heat a bit and turned to face him. Well, she tried to dial down the heat. She had yet to learn how profoundly she affected him.
Through Enos's heady vision, he saw a graceful panther leisurely undulate to rest on a hip. Smoldering, heavy lidded eyes gazed up like a huntress and her voice became a sensual purr. "Welcome home, Deputy. Come sit with me and tell me about your day. It's too hot to start the fire, but I brought the marshmallows. Are you hungry?"
Something akin to a squeak was his response. Maybe she had already pushed the poor man too far.
"Enos, we really do need to talk. Jaxon went to see Daisy. He's going to explain."
That did it. The passion in his eyes slid to the background and the anger flashed to the surface.
"I reckon it had to happen sometime." Enos clenched his teeth. He took off his gun belt, slipped off his shoes and flopped down next to her, still grumbling under his breath.
"Now, Deputy. I know you've been real upset since Jaxon gave you the news, but it might help if you talk to her. Did you happen to run into her today on your shift?" When he avoided her eyes, Jenny reached out to run her hand through his hair. "Look at me, babe. Does she even know you're upset?"
"I doubt it." He rested his arms on bent knees and turned stormy eyes to hers. "I ain't ready to see Daisy just yet. She should've known better than to take Boss Hogg's money. He never does nothin' unless he's gonna benefit from it."
"If it helps, I don't believe either of them were fully aware of what they were getting into. Monroe probably didn't tell Boss why he wanted the location of the cattle drive. He knows Boss isn't a violent man. Hogg is greedy, but he wouldn't have done this if he understood the ramifications. Deputy, don't let this ruin your friendship with her."
"I'm trying, but Daisy knew better. All she cared about was gettin' to Wyoming because I told her I wouldn't come home. She didn't think about who it might hurt later on. Now all of us are in trouble because of Boss's letter."
"Asking Monroe to pay for the tickets and rental car was a big mistake, but that was on Hogg, not Daisy." Jenny smoothed his tie and her hand came to rest over his heart. "She needs protection, the kind Drake and Jaxon can provide. She might not let them help her unless you convince her otherwise. We leave for Wyoming in a week and we have to open communication. Drake can't keep sneaking around. She's going to catch him following her one of these days. I think you're upset because she's in danger, not because she took Boss Hogg's money."
"What makes you think that?"
"Because you don't have a vengeful bone in your body. There's also something my Gran used to say. Ceilichidh seirc aineamh, friendship conceals blemishes."
"I don't mean to hold a grudge, honest." Enos lay back on the blanket with his hands clasped behind his head. "She's always gonna be my friend. I just don't understand th' choices she's been making. I'm worried about all of us. You and Drake were shot trying to keep us safe."
Enos closed his eyes as the heartache and helplessness of that day returned. "Knowing you were out there bleeding and not being able to reach ya' was plum awful. Now it means nothing and it could happen again, to any of us. It hurts."
His eyes popped open when Jenny moved closer to draw lazy circles on his chest with her fingertips. "It means everything and I'd do it again. We kept you safe. You're alive. So are Daisy and Boss."
"And Miss Lulu." Enos turned on his side to twirl Jenny's hair around his finger. "Hon, why won't ya' tell me what happened to you? Drake said Jaxon found you in the woods, but where were ya' all summer?"
"We went to Boston for awhile until I was strong enough to travel, but mostly we kept moving. Drake needed me, especially after the shooting. He was really struggling with bad memories. Cynthia, Finn, our mum…" She averted her eyes and went very still, drawn into another time and memories of a faraway place.
This distant look was nothing new. Enos had seen it several times, especially after they had skirted around the subject of her mother. Her eyes would dim to reflect a profound sadness and sorrow so vast that his skin would grow cold. He suspected she was recalling the night it all changed and he wanted to somehow make it better.
His fingers gently took her chin and turned her face to his. "Come back to me, hon," he murmured. "Where are ya'?"
"I'm okay. I'm here," she smiled and the troubled waters calmed beneath the stars in her eyes.
"I promise, Jenny. I'll stop Monroe."
"Shh." Jenny's finger traced his lips and she moved closer. "Are we going to talk about him or make the most of this time before Drake gets back?"
"G-gets back?"
"Mm-hmm." A seductive smile graced those succulent lips and she tipped her head to the side. "Jaxon isn't just talking to Daisy, he's giving Drake a break from guard duty and will follow Daisy home from work. Drake went fishing."
"Possum on a gumbush, we ain't gonna be interrupted?"
"Nope."
When Jenny removed his tie, he took a step towards the quicksand. With a husky breath, he whispered, "I think ya' better come over here."
His hand went to her waist and she made quick work of the buttons on his shirt. Her fingers caressed his broad chest and felt the rippling of his muscles while her lips settled on a sensitive spot below his ear. She kissed and teased, delighting in the shudder that resulted from her ministrations. Maybe tonight he would stay.
Enos kneaded the thin fabric at the curve of her hip and bent down to capture her lips in what was intended to be a tender kiss. The starving monster demanded control when her soft lips opened for him and his tongue surged forward to twirl around hers with unexpected authority. He moaned deeply as desire coiled like a tightly wound spring and the passion set fire to the air.
He took the small of her back and pulled her against him. That lean, firm leg glistened in the moonlight as she slid it up the length of his leg and hooked it around his body. He crossed that fading line of virtuous behavior like a freed stallion. "Jenny," he moaned into her kiss. Jenny took a shuddering breath when his hand slid across pliable flesh, pausing to squeeze here and there on its way down the scenic route of her hip. Enos grasped the back of her smooth, warm thigh as his other hand threaded into her hair.
Enos paused to look at her, stunned that his touch could affect such a response from such an incredible woman. "You're so beautiful."
"Kiss me, love." Jenny panted. "Don't stop now."
Love? She called me love! His eyes closed of their own volition as he galloped towards the heavens. He took her lips and blended with her as if they were two pieces of a puzzle. Lost in the kiss, blinded by need, and filled to capacity with a love purer than he ever imagined possible, he tightened his hold and rocked against her. Dear god she felt good. The pleasure fluttered and pulsed up his spine with such intensity that he couldn't stop the rhythmic moves that followed. She whimpered and writhed, a graceful partner perfectly matching his dance.
"Yes," she drawled. "Oh, yes."
A second later he was above her, headed toward several firsts on his menu. Enos's hands caressed and worshiped her voluptuous first course while he kissed and gently nibbled her lips. When his strong hands ventured into glorious new territory, Jenny cried out his name as her own cravings demanded satisfaction.
A fleeting moment of clarity struck and Enos broke the overheated moment before the coil sprung. He pushed himself back, but his gaze met emerald eyes mirroring his need and filled with absolute trust. If he didn't stop now, he'd lose the ability. He panted breathlessly, "Oh, Jenny, I can't… I don't want ya' to think… I mean… I gotta go."
"Please wait." Jenny grabbed his face before he could get away. "It's okay. Mo ghradh, my love, tell me why you keep doing this?"
"Because, I ain't gonna disrespect ya," he sighed, his eyes betraying him by visually consuming another tasty morsel. He murmured, soft and low, "Oh, Jenny … you're somethin' special." Enos slid the delicate strap back on her shoulder and added, "I can't. It ain't right."
A wave of fear shot through her. "H-have I done something wrong?"
"Wrong?" Enos nearly panicked and his eyes snapped back to hers. "No! No, you're everything I ever dreamed of. It ain't nothin' you've done. Having you here is the best. I adore you and all th' little things you do. It's just, I don't want to. Th-that ain't what I meant. I do want to, but I don't want you to. I mean…ding dang it." That went well. Enos groaned and blushed so deeply she could see the hue in the dim light.
She guided his head to her heart and whispered, "Enos, something is holding you back. What is this about?"
He moved up to bury his eyes in her hair and replied. "I want you to stay."
"Am I going somewhere?"
"I keep thinking about waking up in th' cave alone. I woke up in the hospital alone twice. I didn't know where to find ya' and I was afraid I'd never see you again. I missed you so much it hurt. What if I ruin what we have? What if I wake up tomorrow and you're gone?"
"Oh, Enos. I'm so sorry for hurting you." Jenny's eyes pooled with tears as her fingers played in his hair. "I was scared of Monroe, of your relationship with Daisy, of watching you suffer because of me. I'm still scared, but now I'm more frightened of being without you. I felt so empty when we were apart and thought of you every moment. I was foolish for leaving. Forgive me?"
"Of course I forgive you. I know you were confused, but what about Drake? The last time wasn't your fault. Jenny, I ain't sure I can take losing you again."
"You won't lose me. My heart needs yours. I need you." A tear slid down her cheek. Enos was her first love and she wanted to be with him forever.
Jenny swept a soft finger along his five o'clock shadow. "Enos Strate, I give you my word as a proud Highland lass. I'll never, ever, run away from you again. Not for my brothers, not because of Monroe, not for anything. I'll stay by your side as long as you'll have me."
Enos brushed away her tears with the pad of his thumb and nearly choked. She needed him. Thank all that was good and holy she needed him. "Oh, Jenny. I lo…I'm in…" Get it right. It's gotta be perfect! She deserves th' perfect moment!
His throat closed, either from nerves, or overwhelming emotion, or both. He loved this woman so completely that words seemed hopelessly inadequate.
Seeing his struggle, she nuzzled him gently and sought to comfort him. "Shh, the words will come. Tha gaol agam ort-fhèin."
He giggled, "Wait a minute, it ain't fair talkin' Scottish. What does it mean?"
"It's Gaelic silly." Jenny smiled but repeated it's meaning in her heart. I love you, too. This man loved her, but he had been hurt so badly he was afraid vocalizing it would somehow destroy it. He'd say it when he was ready.
She lost herself in the wonder of his eyes and said, "Now roll over and let me show you what it means."
Jenny wrapped her arms around him and he carried her with him when he spun to his back. His hands tangled in her hair and his eyes danced across her face. She had surrendered her heart to his care, but she couldn't give him her innocence yet. A vow she made as a young girl reserved that for her wedding night, but she could help assuage his fears by facing them head on. Jenny bent down to tickle his ear with her tongue and ran her fingers down his chest.
"Oh, Jenny." Enos held the sun in his hands and the flames were getting too intense. He had to get out of there before the monster ruined the moment. "Hon, I gotta go to th' house. I can't take much more. I'm sorry."
He took her petite waist to pick her up, but Jenny fisted her hands in his shirt. "Stop. Do you trust me?"
Enos scrunched his forehead, "Of course I trust you. I trust ya' more than anybody."
"Then make me a promise. Stay with me. Stay right there and let me care for you."
"Care for…" His eyes grew like saucers. Despite the rest of his anatomy singing glory hallelujah, he was quick to protest. "Oh no. Nu-uh. Jenny, I can't. As much as I want you, I won't disrespect ya' that way."
"My sweet, that's not my intent. Let me prove to you that I'll still be here tomorrow."
"Huh? But I-" Jenny silenced him with a passionate kiss.
When those petal-soft hands took charge and her kiss never faltered, Enos questioned his sanity for considering a refusal. Enos vaulted the moon, touched the stars and waltzed around Venus before the passion settled between them with their virtues intact.
Afterward, Jenny slumbered in his arms. He stroked her hair and gazed up at the night sky with tears of joy in his eyes. His love for her had reached a new level and he would never, ever, let her go.
