CHAPTER 4

TRANSLATION

Aretmis ignored his second younger brother Beckett, Myle's twin with curly yellow hair, who was pelting the windows with snowballs and gesturing for him to come outside.

"Come and join us before we go Christmas carolin'!" he called, as a snowball from Myles exploded on the back of his head. "Ye never do anythin' fun with us."

Artemis waved a hand in a shooing motion as he moved away from the window to study the mirror under a microscope.

"No circuitry or recognizable machinery whatsoever. I thought magic might be an advanced form of technology."

"Magic might not be real," suggested Butler. He closed the lab's curtains, and strode across the gray floor to look over Artemis' shoulder.

"Right now, Butler? How can ye not see what's in front of yer eyes?"

Butler bit his tongue.

Behind them, chains were tied around the leprechaun's ankles. "I thought the dart might've killed ye," Artemis commented as she woke.

He turned to the magic mirror, which reflected a green light. "Hello," he chuckled into it. After saying this a few times, a snarling, raspy voice with a lilting accent said:

"Where are ye? Show yerself!"

"Not yet, but soon enough."

"D'Arvit! Where's Holly? What do ye want?"

"Just testin' to make sure this works." Artemis leaned back in the study's swivel chair under surveillance monitors. His captive was sitting on her cot, staring at him from behind the bars of the Fowl family's jail cell.

"Artemis," Butler called. "It's yer father, sir. Artemis Senior. Madam Fowl says he's come back."

"Ye can't be serious. Did ye see him with yer own eyes?"

"No, Artemis, sir. I just heard voices in the bedroom. But she won't let me through the door."

"Very well," Artemis mumbled. "I had better go up there immediately."

Artemis brushed past the man, taking the steps two at a time. His mother's room was two flights up, a converted attic space. When Artemis Senior had died, Angeline Fowl had become more attached to the space, eventually refusing to leave it.

"Mother?"

Angeline had the lamps on for the first time in a year.

"Aye, can we help ye?" His mother was seated on the couch in her wedding dress, but sprang to her feet upon seeing Artemis. "We're gettin' married tonight. Can I stay up late?"

"Aye? Who do ye think ye are speakin' to?"

"Please?"

". . . I suppose ye may."

"Thank ye!" she jumped onto the bed. "Thank ye, thank ye!"

"Ye are welcome, Moth—Angeline. Now, I must be off. Business to attend to." He gave her a glass of water with sleeping pills. Then he closed the door and sighed. "Just another delusion."

Holly the leprechaun was holding her head in her hands. She reached pointy fingers through the bars of the cell.

"Lookin' for somethin'?" asked Artemis.

Holly reared back.

"Sit, please."

Holly bared her teeth

"We are both fully aware of the Leprechaun Laws," Artemis told her. "I read, for instance, that since this is me house, ye must abide by me wishes. Me wishes do not include bodily harm to meself, or yer attemptin' to leave this house. I happen to be fluent in Gnommish. As is me entire network."

The faerie either could not or refused to use English. "Disaster for all," she snarled.

Artemis shrugged. "I am not concerned with us all, just meself. And I shall be perfectly fine."

"Thief!" spat Holly. "Thief!"

"Yes. A thief. Hardly just a thief, though. The world's first cross-species thief. I will be first to successfully separate a faerie from its gold."

"Gold? Gold? Human idiot." Holly threw her head back and laughed.

"Ye are right to laugh. For a while there, I didn't believe in all that gold-under-the-rainbow blarney, but now I know better. If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written."

Holly slumped.

The boy chuckled. "How long do ye think ye've been here?"

"...Hours?"

Artemis shook his head. "Nearly a year," he lied. "We've had ye on truth serum for months . . . until ye told us everythin' we needed to know."

She spat. "They will find me."

Artemis nodded. "Oh yes. The other leprechauns will find ye. I'm countin' on it."

Holly traced her fingers around her eyes in some sort of faerie insult. "Have ye ever met a troll?"

"No. Never a troll. I went searchin' for a river troll once, but it was a false alarm."

Holly showed more teeth. "Ye will. Ye will."

Butler studied the spy cameras. "Anythin'?" asked Artemis.

"No. Nothin'. Once or twice I thought I saw a flicker, but it turned out to be nothin'."

"Nothin', nothin'," sighed Artemis. "Freeze it."

Butler pressed the pad. On screen, the cherry trees blowing in the wind froze, and falling snowflakes were trapped midair. A dozen black figures appeared on the boreen.

"What!" exclaimed Butler. "Where did they spring from?"

"Vibratin' at high speed," explained Artemis. "Too fast for the human eye to follow . . . Even with goblin spit."

"I see," fibbed Butler thinking it must be a glitch with the cameras.

"Metaphorically, or because of the goblin spit?" Artemis smiled. "Hmm. I haven't made a joke in a long time. Next thing I'll be wearin' clown shoes and turnin' cartwheels in the main hall."

"I'll go stop the intruders," said Butler.

The cell door burst open and Artemis walked in.

"I'm hungry!" shouted Holly.

"What do faeries eat?"

"Fruit, meat, blood."

"Alright then. Now don't ye go forgettin' the rules. No tryin' to escape from me house. And no need to break the furniture either. Lastly, leave off yer screamin' like a boggerflook. I thought it was a banshee come to steal us away."

As soon as his footsteps had faded, Holly smashed the bed into the concrete. Just saying there was no need to do a thing wasn't specifically forbidding a leprechaun to do it.

Butler entered the control room, clutching a fistful of leprechaun hair and rubbing his neck. "I don't know if I believe in faeries, but there are certainly some tricky, slippery demons out there. Green and wild like jackrabbits, they are. How's our prisoner?"

"Fine." Artemis double clicked the video window to make it big. On the screen, Holly smashed her cot into the concrete.

"Tis understandable," noted the manservant. "Imagine her frustration."

Artemis smiled. "There's no way for her to break out. The entire estate is built on a bed o' limestone. Not even a Mole Troll could tunnel its way in."

Artemis buttoned his designer jacket, pausing at the mirror to straighten his tie. He put a hand on the doorknob. "Good evenin'," he said.

A short, furry leprechaun in a green cape stood on the porch. "Fowl?"

"Artemis Fowl, at yer service. And ye are?"

"Root. Step outside, human."

Artemis's face hardened. "Have ye learned nothin' from me kidnapping demonstration? Do I need to kill someone for ye to fear me? It's not an early grave ye'd be after?"

"No," said Root. "Tis the way of the faeries to avoid houses of men."

"Ye're tryin' to lure me outside, where I could be snatched and used to trade. Please, be more intelligent. We'll talk inside. Ye have me permission to enter, but remember, Holly's life is in yer hands. Be careful with it."

Root followed Artemis down the hallway. Generations of Fowls glared down at him from portraits. They passed through the stained glass doorway to a conference room, where a peat fire blazed in a fireplace. Two places were set at a round table.

"Ready?" Artemis shuffled his notes. "Here is the situation as I see it. I have the means to expose yer existence, and ye are powerless to stop me. So, basically, whatever I ask for is a small price to pay."

Root hopped onto one of the cushioned chairs and spat on the pristine table top. "Ye can spread word of us?"

"Well, not immediately, not with the time-stop spell in effect. I know ye must've put one over us, which means we're completely cut off from the outside world. In eight hours when the spell is over, there will be an explosion." Artemis jotted something on a notepad.

"Let's save some time here. The next step is negotiation." Artemis slid his notepad across the table. It read: "One ton of twenty-four-carat gold."

"Give us Holly or we kill you all." Root ran a claw down the notepad as his eyes darted over it.

"Ye are no threat to me. I can escape the time-field."

Root's fur bristled. "Can't be."

"Oh, yes it can. I haven't been wrong yet."

Root tore the page with his claws.

"Take yer time with yer decision. We have eight. . . seven and a half hours, then time's up for everybody." Artemis pushed his chair back over the glassy floor. "None of yer race has permission to enter here while I'm alive."

Root growled and scampered down the hallway, spitting at the oil paintings.

Meanwhile, Holly was back to bed-banging, but was weakening.

A cloud of gray dust spiraled around her legs and a small patch of earth poked through the cement. She fumbled for an acorn from her boot, clasping it in her bloody fingers. Then she wormed her fist into the tiny space. Magic rushed up her arm and she laughed. "One law I can disobey!"