Chapter 3: Confessions

Ladybugs POV:

The following weeks were very strange. Ladybug and Chat Noir hadn't been faced with any kwami related villions yet. He must have been plotting something sinister. Chat had promised to be with her every step of the way that night on the roof and Ladybug was comforted by his steady presence. As Marinette, she hadn't seen many friends from school apart from Alya and she wondered if she would ever be able to live the life of a normal young adult. She had taken a gap year just in case.

Most of their patrols had consisted of looking for Shadowmoth and staying ready to fight anything that came their way. They had also taken the time to discuss how they would get the miraculous back. One plan was to track Shadowmoth down and face him themselves. The other would be to fight anyone he may arm with a miraculous until they were able to take it back. Aside from this, they hadn't thought of much. It became apparent however, that Chat had an advantage that Ladybug didn't understand. He seemed to know multiple places the super villian might be but every time they came close, they had just missed him. She wondered what gave him so much intuition.

Ladybug watched carefully as Chats eyes looked to the side over the top of his mug of cocoa. It felt so good to have it be the two of them again. She never realized how much she had missed him.

She shivered. It was a Wednesday evening in June yet somehow, the night air felt like December. She'd brought them some cocoa from her bakery since the last patrol had been so surprisingly cold. He was so eager drinking, and it made her wonder how often he ate or drank anything that tasted good.

Though the sky was grey with hints of purple from the setting sun, and the steam coming from their mugs flew before her, all she could really watch was her partner: His eyes in particular. She watched to ensure he was happy. He smiled at her slightly, realizing that she had been staring at him. Something felt off about his smile and it made her deflate. Her eyes traced his mouth and his expression wondering what made it different. Maybe it was her imagination, but it seemed less real these days and she wondered if he was feeling stressed from their current situation or if there was more to it. Her heart began to move differently, and she forced herself to look away.

This kind of thing happened a lot. He had always been mildly enchanting to her but this, this was a new level of interest. She had been paying so much attention to him and it felt bizarre. Even when he wasn't around, she found herself climbing out of her bedroom onto her porch and looking up at the moon, wondering if he was looking out too. She had always felt strong emotions towards him but it was only recently that she noticed them.

She felt so inside herself. Looking at Adrien had always felt exciting and warm as though everything he did made her swoon. But this? This was very different. She felt concern, fear, happiness, attachment, protection, and anxiety all at once.

She took another sip of cocoa and gazed up at him again. His eyes seemed blue for a minute and it startled her but then she relaxed again, seeing that they were still green and it was just her mind.

"My lady?" He smirked and cocked his head to the side.

My lady. She knew it was a friendly term of endearment for plenty of women, but it held a special spot in her heart when it came out of his mouth. My lady. She had heard him say it so many times before but ever since she heard it that day, on the roof, it became the name that anchored her to the ground. She heard his laugh interrupting her thoughts. She blinked before clearing her throat.

"What are you looking at?" She asked softly ignoring his playful demeaner. He seemed concerned about something and though they were closer these days, he carried a lot more mystery about him. She was still scared to ask him questions sometimes as he had grown flightier over the years and tended to avoid answering questions by fleeing. She didn't want him to leave.

He paused and spoke hesitantly. "I'm looking at the Agreste mansion."

At Adrien's house? She pondered the idea of Adrien for a minute. She loved Adrien in small ways now but she didn't know him as well as she thought. And besides, he was gone somewhere. Maybe he did end up going to London after Felix pretended to be him but she wasn't sure. Nonetheless she barely knew him. Not like she knew Chat. And maybe she didn't really know what love was. Maybe she had been wrong about everything and all of these feelings for Chat meant she was in love. No. That couldn't be.

"What brings your interest to them? A fan of fashion?" She tried to tease. Please don't run away. She thought.

He hesitated again and his mouth tightened into a frown. He looked down at his drink and out again at the mansion. He missed his home but didn't feel welcome there anymore. His father still thinking he was in London was the perfect escape, especially with his new growing suspicions, well realizations more like, towards his father. Of course, he might know he's not there, being that Felix somehow communicates with him. Nevertheless, Felix must not have told him as his father never came looking for him. Adrien wondered why Felix would keep his cover as Adrien but he decided not to question it until he found out more information. He couldn't stop replaying the phone call he heard the day he gathered clothes and money to escape. Something about a plan and ladybug. It was all too clear, but he didn't want to accept it yet.

"I have a suspicion and I can't exactly tell you why. But I have a suspicion that Shadowmoth is Gabriel Agreste."

And just like that, like a lighting bolt had just struck the ground, he let the cat out of the bag. As if it weren't even a big deal.

"What? Why would you think that? We thought so before but remember the collector" Her eyes widened

"No my lady he's…. Smarter than you think…Shadowmoth… I've been doing some private research of my own. He can akumatize himself. He could have done that before. He can also make sentimonsters remember? That could have been one for all we know. I want to start discussing all of this soon but I need some time if that's ok" he looked up at her this time, meeting her blue eyes, sincerity in his green ones suddenly soothing her. "I'm sorry to shock you bug, I really will tell you everything soon I just had a hunch and couldn't help myself from investigating alone. I didn't want to put you in any danger" his hand reached hers on the roof edge where she had placed it near him.

His thumb rubbed tender circles on her knuckles. It was usual for them to touch, more than typical platonic friends would touch. Many times during battles, their hands would find each other's or they would collide on the ground and feel each other's bodies. She was accustomed to his physical presence and she let his thumb spark warmth from her hand all the way to her chest. She took a deep breathe

"if you say so kitty. I trust you. But I really don't need you protecting me by keeping me in the dark. We learned that the hard way. Keeping things from each other only makes things worse. Or at least… I learned the hard way" she tensed thinking of all the times she kept him away in fear of him getting akumatized. She should have talked to him. She was so foolish then.

"Hey" he moved his hand from over hers and wrapped it around her shoulder, leaning his face close to hers so that she could see his face clearer. She gasped a little. "I don't hold anything against you. You had so much on your plate and I only made things worse with all of my feelings. You don't owe me anything and I'm here now. We'll tell each other everything now" he gave her a smile. A real one this time.

I'm here now. His words echoed in her thoughts. She wanted him closer even though he was inches away. She could feel him breathing and yet she needed more.

"Can I…could I stay with you again tonight?" She asked nervously. She had stayed in the bedroom of his new apartment while he slept on the couch the night after Shadowmoth had made his big announcement. He had told her it was a graduation present, and she didn't dare to ask anything further. She didn't know what made her ask to stay again but it came out and she didn't regret it.

Chat's heart inflated at the desperation in her eyes. She wanted to be in his company. He still loved her deeply even though he wasn't going to let it stress her out anymore. The selfish side of him however, still wanted to enjoy small moments where she seemed to reciprocate his feelings. He rested his chin on her head and chuckled softly. "Of course. You're always welcome. What makes you want to stay again if you don't mind me asking?"

Because I want to be close to you, she thought. "Because well…things are unsafe right now… and my parents are away this week. If I'm being totally honest I don't feel safe alone. I had this dream recently where Shadowmoth found me and took my earrings in my sleep. I had no control over the situation, and I failed once again. I think maybe I'll feel a little better if…" she trailed off and he leaned away to look at her face, while keeping her close with his arm. With deep sadness and worry on his face, he moved his hands up her arms to grasp her shoulders tightly.

"My lady if you don't feel safe you can stay the whole week. However long you want to. I promise I won't spy on you or try and find out who you are. And you didn't fail! Look at me you didn't fail! Felix is a manipulative and sneaky piece of shit and you did your best. You trusted Adrien not Felix. You would have never known"

She blinked letting his words sink in while they eased her worries. He had been extra harsh on his words towards Felix and she briefly wonderened why. Then she reiterated his words in her head. She didn't fail. She could breathe. Her heart rate lowered, and she felt a blanket of warmth surround her stemming from his sturdy hands on her shoulders. She closed her eyes and soaked in the safety of his touch again.

If only it weren't so easy, falling for him. If only it didn't come as naturally as rain from the clouds, this feeling she could no longer deny. She had told herself to dance in the rain before but she didn't realize how fast, and how powerful that rain would be. She opened her eyes and felt herself gravitating towards her view. Him. She sighed again.

"Chat noir I— thank you. You're my rock" she leaned into him and he embraced her accordingly.

"Cats do make the best emotional support pets" he mewed

"You're not my pet" she backfired immediately, nudging him in the chest with her forehead.

"I'll be anything for you buginette" he chuckled and she could imagine the smirk on his face as he said it. Her face burned slightly.

"How about a means of transportation to your place" she yawned.

"Hmmmm that I think I can do" he helped her to her feet.

"Shall we?" He gestured for her to hop into his arms.

Normally, she wouldn't be so forward about being carried princess style through Paris but this was an exception. She swiftly wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed him to run and jump into the air, taking them to his apartment across the city.

She felt smaller in his arms this time around he thought. He hoped she had been eating enough. Though it was normal for him to carry her and vise versa, this time felt necessary for her. She needed a break. He felt her relax in his embrace and it gave him a sense of importance and strengthened his grip on her. He would keep her safe. Always.

They entered through the back window. The lights were off when they stepped inside so he directed her to stand still while he used his night vision to find the light switch. Once it was on, his rather plain apartment of tan walls and grey furniture revealed itself. It had been intended as an apartment for himself as Chat noir so he ensured nothing on the walls revealed who he was.

"If you were to pick one thing to change about this place, without revealing too much, what would it be?" She giggled looking at the blank walls.

"Hmmm maybe some paintings or art on the walls since I have no pictures here. But I'm pawsitively terrible at art" he chuckled

She rolled her eyes despite being glad he was making puns again "Maybe I'll make you something. I happen to be somewhat of a mediocre artist." She winked

"I'd actually love that" he beamed at her proposition.

"Ok then it's a deal kitty cat. I'll paint you some mediocre art and you provide me with a place to stay every once and a while and… maybe some coffee in the morning this time?" She brought it up since last time he hadn't had any.

"Yes! I do have some for you now! I got it in case… well in case you ever were to come back" he scratched the back of his head nervously.

His goofy stance brought a smile to her face. Had he always been this adorable?, she thought. "I appreciate the concern" she kissed him on the cheek making him turn red under his mask.

What did I just do that for? She thought backing away. They were so shy around each other lately. It had been only a short time since they became a duo again, after years of being the closest pair of a larger team. They still weren't accustomed to being alone.

She patted the couch delicately before sitting down and crossed her legs. She placed her hands on her lap as she peered around.

He rubbed the back of his neck again only more awkwardly. "I have some tea if you'd like. It's just green tea with prickly pear flavor if you like that kind of…tea" he watched her intently waiting for a reply.

"Yea that sounds lovely. I like a lot of sugar in mine usually. Oh, and if you have honey that's even better" she straightened up as she answered.

"Honey it is." He turned around and opened a cabinet with a couple of black mugs inside. He also opened a drawer filled with small packets of tea bags. Hm a big tea drinker I see. She thought with mild distain: she heavily preferred coffee. She watched his wide shoulders and long arms preparing the coffee- the small of his back curving in drastically, creating a shape that was quite appealing to her. Her eyes traced his narrow neck curving into his sharp jawline as he surveyed each cup, making sure to put extra honey in hers.

A small amount of honey dripped onto his leather clad glove, and he lifted it to his mouth giving it a small lick. She stared as this was also oddly attractive to see. What is going on? She wondered. It's just tea he's just tall and very handsome. It's totally normal to stare at attractive people. Even if they are my partner.

"Your tea mademoiselle" he winked handing it to her. She hadn't even noticed him coming towards her. Surprised she looked up at him giving him a shy smile. "Thanks minou" she took a sip. "It's delicious"

He took a seat beside her and leaned his head back letting out a small groan. " it feels good to be inside hm?" He sighed bringing his cup to his mouth. Everything was moving so slowly yet her heart was practically audible. She felt his body weight shift the couch cushion. His arm brushed against her and made her mind flash to memories of his arms being around her. They were strong and tight and embraced her with such a familiar force that she always felt safe in. She wanted to be there right now, in his arms, engulfed in his scent. What did he ask? Oh yeah, being inside felt nice didn't it?

"It does." She replied shortly. "So do you want to watch something maybe?" She quickly asked. Maybe she just needed a movie to distract her.

"Oooooooh a movie could be nice to relax. Do you like studio ghibli? I have Howl's moving castle on DVD." He suggested

"Really? Isn't that more of a fan girl favorite?" She teased thinking of the handsome wizard who sweeps Sophie off her feet that most girls, herself included, enjoyed watching the film for. Maybe she was just being bias, and for all she knew, he could be bisexual, or just a fan of the movie. She felt bad about what she said now.

"Yeah, but I like it. The music is wonderful and Howl's not the only character you know. I think Sophie was my first cartoon crush" he laughed "she's pretty pawwesome if you ask me. She persevered through a bad curse and she's also stubborn and cute. Kind of like you ma belle." he poked her lightly with his finger.

She blushed a little at his comment about her. "Sounds like a good movie to put on then" and as she answered he was already popping it into the DVD player.

The move began and they leaned into each other as it progressed. She felt his breath against her head and the tension between them grew.

"I now have something to protect. That's you Sophie." Howl said though the screen. Ladybug felt herself growing warm as it made her think of Chat. How he's always protected her and how she needed that. She peaked over to him and he wore a soft smile. His eyes moved to hers. They held her for a moment and she felt it again, the rain. It washed over and left a rosy blush budding on her cheeks. His eyes always had a way of reaching her. They were gentle and large and inviting. Almost as inviting as his lips and his shoulders that suddenly begged her to move closer. She almost felt herself lean towards him when she looked away. She hoped he didn't notice.

Chats POV:

That's how I feel about her. He thought. He decided to peak over to watch her to see if she liked that part when he caught her eye. Maybe it was an accident that she looked at him. Maybe it wasn't. He swore he saw something flash beneath her lowered lids but he decided to ignore it. He wouldn't let his mind tell him it wasn't a mistake. He looked away to not dwell too much. He needed to be serious. It's just a movie.

As the film ended the two of them were already yawning. Slumber dissipated most of the previous tension.

"I'll show you to my room if you'd like. It's all clean and everything with new sheets and all bugaboo I promise. I'll take the couch again" he shook her a little.

"Mmmm? Oh yes. I'll head in. You can sleep there with me if you promise no funny business. It's a massive bed after all. And the shades are dark enough to hide my face." She wanted him to sleep in there with her but played it off cool.

"If you insist" he tried not to sound nervous as he walked beside her headed to the bedroom. It would certainly be a task to keep from cuddling her.

He had to turn the light on as it was in fact extremely dark inside. She laid in bed first with her eyes nearly closing. He then shut the lights off and followed, hesitantly using his night vision and making sure to leave space between them. He closed his eyes.

"Can you see me?"

"Nope"

"Can you?"

"Not a thing bugaboo"

"Spots off" she sighed breathy against the pillow

"Claws in" he whispered.

"Goodnight chat noir" she mewed

"Sweet dreams"

And just like that, they began to drift.

Later:

Ladybugs POV:

"Chat" she whispered hearing his breathe slow. She wanted, no she needed him closer. Her hands searched for his on the dark bed until she found his hand. Softly and as quickly as possible, she intertwined one of her hands with his. His real hand. It was oddly delicate and warm and so different from his usual clawed hands. Over the years, they had dealt with the barrier of their suits between them and touching him now, in the dark, chipped away at that distance. Something about him felt so much more real this way and it almost scared her. She then realized what she had been doing and tried to yank her hand away but his tightened around hers as soon as she moved. She gasped and his breathe hitched a little. She began to panic. Oh god why did I do that. Stupid stupid stupid.

"It's ok" she heard him whisper. "I want to hold yours to"

Relief washed over her. Then it was quickly replaced with anxiety. She burned from her chest to her cheeks. "Chat" she said again.

"Mm?" He hummed dreamily.

"How did… how did you know when... when you… What did you do this morning when you woke up?" she changed her question

"Mmmmm I put some jam on a piece of toast and I used the wrong knife and I… got a small cut on my finger" his thumb rubbed against her hand. "Your hands are so soft" he replied without questioning her strange question.

"Oh. Thank you. I'm sorry about your finger." She whispered wanting to kiss his hand but refraining. He didn't reply. She stared into the dark space in front of her. She couldn't even make out his shape and for a moment, it felt as though she were alone. She spoke again, into the supposed void ahead.

"Chat. How…how does love feel to you?"

She was met with more silence. Oh god. Oh god he doesn't love her anymore. Why did she even ask? After all this time of telling him to stop professing his love. It was idiotic. She was being selfish. She shouldn't have overstepped. Suddenly her palm clammed up and she no longer wanted to be there. She heard a creaking sound and her hands began to shake.

He shifted his position slightly before answering "well with you it's like…it's like a lot of emotions all at once. When I first saw you, it was intense and exciting and like I was constantly swooning. Then, once I got to know you better, you became my best friend, but my feelings became stronger. It turned into a constant feeling of happiness and desperation and fear at the same time. And now it's all of that with the addition of protection and a need for your safety at all costs. And a feeling of comfort and home. It's essentially like feeling well sort of …everything… very strongly…." his words trailed off on the last bit.

She gulped. Her grip on his hand tightened and she felt her heart skip beats. Her emotions enveloped her in a frenzy of jitters. "Chat I'm…freezing" she blurted.

"Oh, I'm sorry bug do you need more blankets?" He replied genuinely concerned that she was cold.

"No, I…I want…I want to be closer" she blurted again. If she could just let herself fall, maybe, just maybe it would be okay.

"Like… this?" She felt him shift slowly from his side and his presence became slightly noticeable on her side though they weren't touching.

"I was thinking more…" and just as she was saying it she felt his hand on her back pulling her towards him as she fell into his embrace, her head finding it's place on his chest. She could feel how hard his heart was pounding. "Yes. this is perfect." She certainly didn't feel alone in the darkness anymore.

He began stroking between her shoulder blades lightly. His touch ignited tint flames onto each vertebrae. "I'm glad. Are you…feeling warmer?" He questioned

"I'm feeling a lot of things. Chat… Chat Noir I want to say something okay? - I think I'm feeling… I'm feeling exactly like everything you said just now. That's how I feel about you. That's how I've felt about you. I didn't know. Well, I did but I kept it…somewhere in the back of my mind I guess. I didn't know what love was, I guess. Or maybe I did I just ran from it" her words came out fast and less romantic than she had intended, and her eyes watered slightly due to fear and due to the fact that she had never confessed to anyone before. Not even Adrien. And now she was confessing completely unplanned and while she had nowhere to escape to. And what if she had just ruined everything? What if this moment was single handedly the cause of Chat blanc again?

She felt his heart quicken as he opened his mouth. "My lady I… I… do you mean that? it's just so" he then pulled her a little closer to him as if she would suddenly vanish. Mine. He kept thinking. I can't let her slip away. Not now that I have a chance. He began getting possessive internally but didn't let it ruin the moment.

"I do. I mean it. I love you." she tucked her head deeper into his chest with embarrassment. "And I'm sorry I know you're probably mad and probably wondering why I haven't said anything…. And you probably stopped wanting anything to do with me romantically. I"

"I love you Ladybug" He interrupted. His words hung in the air for a moment, as if it were the first time he'd ever said it to her. He continued. "I mean it. I always will. I always have. I hope you know how much this means to me. I'm just…stunned". Internally, he was exploding with happiness that could only be shown by how tight his arms were wrapped around her and how fast his heart raced. Externally, he couldn't form any words that could amount to it.

"Stunned? Why are you so surprised?" She asked

"Well you always rejected me in the past and lately you've wanted things to be professional. I guess I thought I was supposed to lay off- and I was okay with that out of respect for you but I- I mean I'm still in love with you- I couldn't stop even if I wanted to pretend I could for you…" He grew embarrassed.

"I'm so relieved you still feel that way kitty I was so afraid that I had wrecked everything with how I've been recently….That I would be too late. I really don't have good luck with love. And with you I can't risk anything" her eyes watered.

"Too late? For you my lady? There's no such thing" he kissed the top of her head pushing his luck. She lifted her face to his and brushed his lips against her head until she could feel them on her nose. Then she scooted up slightly to meet her lips with his and felt his breath stop right against hers. Ever so gently and tenderly she planted a sleepy kiss on his lips and pulled away.

"I want this. I want you. I promise my lady anything you want. It's yours." His voice was breaking a little. "I just. Don't want to mess anything up" he added. It's me that should be worried about that, she thought thinking of the cursed white cat again.

"You don't have to worry. I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I don't know how to really do any of this, but I want it too." She replied kissing him again and setting his whole body on fire "I do need to sleep though. Goodnight my kitty" she closed her eyes and nuzzled into his neck. "Thank you for being here"

"Always." He replied. I love her. She loves me. I must keep her. He let his thoughts come to a stop as they both drifted to sleep.