By Kellyb321

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Blaine drove home from the Lima Bean basically on autopilot. He regurgitated the whole conversation with Sebastian time and again, unsure what wasn't sitting well with him, but something was off. He was sure of it. His thoughts were all over the place, and he was amazed when he pulled into his subdivision and realized he didn't remember a minute of the drive home. Hopefully, he hadn't run down any little old ladies in crosswalks. Sheesh… What a day it had been. When Jeff stepped out from behind a shrub near the Anderson's driveway, Blaine startled and nearly drove through the garage door.

"What the hell, man?" he hissed, window down and looking supremely windblown due to the drive home.

"Uh…you told me to meet you here?" Jeff replied, barely holding back the snicker at Blaine's obviously frazzled state. "What's going on with you? You look…not like yourself. The gel-met is all over the place, and you're…snarky. Shit. You've been with Sebastian, haven't you? That guy puts everyone in a mood," Jeff surmised.

"I was, but only to get back my watch. I left it there the last time I was at his house," Blaine said absentmindedly.

"Oh? You always take off items of—"

"Don't. Don't even start with me, Sterling. I don't even want to think about how epically I screwed up. I don't know what I was thinking when I said I'd date him, let alone…anything more." Blaine visibly shivered, feeling a little queasy when he thought about it. Those firsts that he'd given to Sebastian should have been Kurt's, and now they had been essentially wasted on that unfaithful meerkat. It didn't matter anyway. Kurt only thought of him as a friend. With a sigh, he grabbed the pocket watch from the front seat and stepped out of his car.

"I was just messing around, B. Don't get so uptight, okay? What you do with your boyfr—"

"Oh, make no mistake, Jeff. I 'wasn't his boyfriend,' " Blaine explained, making little quotes with his fingers as he did. "We were never ' exclusive.' He made sure to point that out," Blaine sneered, getting more and more upset with himself by the minute.

"You didn't, though…right? I mean…with him…with Sebastian. You didn't…do that . Right?" Jeff asked hesitantly. He looked at Blaine from under his eyelashes and had the gall to look shy about the question.

"You're my best friend—" Blaine began, but Jeff cut him off.

"Next to Kurt." Jeff smiled and winked.

Blaine paused, cheeks pinking up as he considered what to say next. Jeff was right, though. "Okay… Yes, next to Kurt." He grinned. "If that had happened, you would have known about it. I'd have told you. But I'm so glad it never progressed to that point. I've always thought…" Blaine began but second-guessed himself. This arrangement with Kurt was new, and he hadn't had any time at all to consider what to say to people and how much information to share.

"You always thought you'd save that for someone you love," Jeff said quietly, giving his friend a knowing grin.

"Yes… Yeah," Blaine said shyly. "That's something that should be saved for…you know." He shrugged.

"Kurt?" Jeff asked innocently.

Blaine's eyes instantly bugged out, and he gasped enough to nearly inhale one of his mom's potted geraniums from the front porch. He thought he'd kept the depths of his feelings for Kurt pretty well under wraps, but apparently not.

"Oh, for goodness sake, B. I've known for a long time…probably as long as you've known. Nope. Probably longer than you've known, now that I think about it. The way you looked at him when you sang 'Teenage Dream…' Even YOU didn't know then, but I did. It was an epic love story in the making, believe me. I waited a long time for you to figure it out, and when he sang 'Blackbird…' Well, my man, you were a goner. Plain and simple, you fell head over heels, and anyone with eyes could tell. Except Kurt, apparently." He shrugged.

"Yes, well, now that we're dating, maybe I can convince him that I'm worthy of the boyfriend title?" Blaine said softly, tentatively, knowing that Jeff would absolutely understand the ruse, the dynamic of the situation, and he'd be there to advise Blaine on how to proceed…and win Kurt for real.

"Wait… Come again?" Jeff answered, eyes bright with happiness. "You are!? Freaking finally!" Jeff yelled with a fist pump in the air.

"Well…it's complicated. Come on inside, and I'll fill you in, but you have to promise me, Jeff, that what I tell you stays between us, okay? Nobody can know the truth, or Kurt will not only be angry with me but he'll be bombarded with a very infatuated David Karofsky, who wants nothing more than to call Kurt his own. You and I both know I can't and won't allow that to happen."

Blaine opened the front door and led Jeff into the kitchen, where they grabbed something to drink and a bag of potato chips before heading up to Blaine's room.

"Okay. So, wait…" Jeff said, picking up the conversation as if they'd never paused it. "Isn't he the guy who bullied Kurt and threatened to kill him at McKinley?"

"The very same, yes. But as it happens, he apologized, he's gay, he's changed schools, he's infatuated with Kurt, he's coming back to McKinley, and he wants Kurt. Kurt, on the other hand, is not okay with the idea but doesn't want to hurt Dave because—let's face it—he's just too nice for his own good, and he thinks Dave is 'fragile.' And because he's too nice to just be blunt and nip things neatly in the bud, when Karofsky asked Kurt to be not only his date to Prom this year but his boyfriend as well, Kurt told him he was going to Prom with me… because we're dating . In short, he panicked and blurted out that we're dating and that I'd already asked him to Prom to avoid going with Dave." Blaine rolled his eyes at the craziness of the whole situation.

Jeff stood at the foot of Blaine's bed, gaping, unable to believe what his friend had just told him. "So…why don't you just tell him how you feel, that you'd rather be dating him for real?" Jeff asked, truly clueless as to Blaine's hesitance. The way Jeff figured, if Kurt's first inclination was to say he was dating Blaine, perhaps there were feelings there?

"Because…he has stressed so many times that I'm his best friend—JUST his best friend, and if that's all I can have, then I'm keeping that, ya know? I don't want to push and ruin our friendship. I don't want to overwhelm him and ruin the good thing we have. But I'm hopeful that my good friend Jeff can help me out a little bit and show me how to woo one Kurt Hummel so that he WANTS to be my boyfriend for real." Blaine grinned widely, his eyes sparkling and happy.

"Oh, so you think I can help, huh?" Jeff teased.

"You did land one devastatingly handsome Nicholas Duval, did you not?"

"I did," Jeff answered, his smile dazzling as he thought of his boyfriend of the past six months.

"So…will you help me? I'm going to be the best damn fake boyfriend Kurt's ever had, and he's going to be so spoiled, so pampered, so enamored with his boyfriend that nobody else will ever measure up. He won't want to end this fake relationship when it's all said and done and maybe…just maybe…I can get the guy in the end."

"I'm in, B! Operation Woo Kurt is in full force!" Jeff whooped, eyes wide and his smile wider. "Let's do this!" With a fist bump and a man hug, they settled in to plan the attack.

—*—

When Blaine's phone chimed with Kurt's special ringtone, he realized the depth of his infatuation as his smile spread across his face. He dove over his bed and grabbed the phone, then took a deep breath, not wanting to sound too eager.

"Hey, you…"

"Hi! I'm sorry I missed your call. I was elbow deep in calipers on a Ford F250 and…" Kurt began, but Blaine zoned out, thinking about Kurt: dirty Kurt, oil and engine grease and road grime Kurt, and Kurt subsequently getting clean and… "Blaine?"

"Huh? I…I'm here. Yeah. Sorry. I was…" he began, but Kurt's chuckle cut him off.

"I know. I'm sorry. Car stuff is probably boring to you."

"No! It's not. I mean…you know I rebuilt that car with my dad and I… I've just been distracted lately," Blaine explained, rolling his eyes at himself. When did he become a dithering schoolgirl?

"So, Dave stopped by the garage today," Kurt said, clearly exasperated. Blaine perked up at that. Dave hadn't really been on his radar since he'd switched schools and wasn't up in Kurt's personal space, but now that he was obviously after Kurt and heading back to McKinley, Blaine wasn't so thrilled that he was hanging around more often.

"And? How did that go? I thought you told him—"

"I DID! But, Blaine…ugh… He's just…he doesn't have friends at his new school, and he probably won't have many friends when he comes back to McKinley. So for now, he has…me. And apparently, Sebastian, who was also at Scandals last night. Dave isn't sure what all he said to him after half a dozen shots, but he's been getting weird, cryptic texts from Sebastian all day. What exactly does 'in cahoots' mean, and can you be 'out of cahoots'?" Kurt asked.

Blaine's brow furrowed, unsure where this was going, but it didn't sound promising. He didn't trust Sebastian, and even though the guy didn't even consider them "boyfriends," he clearly didn't mind stirring the pot. In cahoots? Sebastian was up to something; Blaine just knew it!

"Did you see the texts on his phone?" Blaine asked. And did Kurt detect a hint of unease in Blaine's tone? Was he upset that Sebastian was already out at the bar, possibly picking up a new guy? His shoulders fell, and he let out a deep sigh.

"No. I was… Well, like I said, it was busy, and I was dirty, and my dad was kinda all up in my grill because Dave was there, like it was my fault… I didn't want to act too interested, so I just kinda did the smile and nod thing and… Sorry. I'm babbling. I didn't see what was on his phone, no. He just had this weird grin on his face and was going on and on about seeing me at school this week—"

"THIS WEEK?" Blaine blurted out, eyes wide. He had hoped he'd have more time with just Kurt to figure out what they were before Dave came back. With a sigh, he decided there was no better time than the present to woo his best friend. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Not sure. I was supposed to hang out with the girls, but Rachel bailed, Mercedes isn't feeling 100 percent, and I don't think that's going to happen. Why? Did you want to hang out?" Kurt asked, the smile on his face radiating 1000 watts. He was glad Blaine couldn't actually see him.

"Well, your boyfriend would like to officially start this…thing…and take you to dinner…if you're amenable?" Blaine smiled, feeling his own cheeks turn pink.

"Oh?" Kurt teased. "Like…actually out to dinner? At a restaurant?"

"Unless you don't want—"

"NO! I mean, yes! I want to. I just thought… I mean, I didn't think you'd really…because it's not…for real… We're just pretending kinda, and I wasn't sure… And I'm babbling again. I'm sorry," Kurt said with a chuckle, his heart pounding madly in his chest. Dinner date with Blaine? Yes, please! His heart may not survive this ruse, but he was going to enjoy every minute of it while he could. Sebastian wasn't getting Blaine back if Kurt Hummel had anything to say about it. "I think I'd like that. Where are we going? Breadstix?"

"Oh… Well, if you want to, we can certainly go there, but…"

"I think it'd be a good idea. See and be seen. Everyone goes to Breadstix, so word will be out that Kurt Hummel had a date with Blaine Anderson before we even go to bed tonight!" Kurt chirped, excited at the prospect. "Oh, God, I mean… I didn't mean…bed, like we'd be going to bed. I mean, of course, we will. Sleep. Not together or…" Kurt babbled, suddenly unable to string words together in his mortification.

Blaine just laughed at him. "I knew what you meant, Kurt. Don't freak out. I'll pick you up at 8:00?"

"I'll be ready. And Blaine? Thank you for doing this. I know you weren't really…enthusiastic about…lying…dating me and all that, but I do appreciate it."

"I think this is going to be good for both of us, Kurt. Just you wait and see!"

—*—

Blaine arrived at the Hummel home promptly at 8:00 p.m., red rose in hand and dressed to the nines. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door and nearly fell off the stoop when Burt answered the door without his trademark, easy-going grin.

"Blaine…"

"M-Mister Hummel…" he stuttered, unsure about this "welcome" that was being offered.

"We've had this conversation, kid. It's Burt. Is there something I should know about, Blaine?" Burt asked, eyes on the rose in Blaine's hand. Oh, God, what had Kurt told him? Or not told him? What should he say? Thankfully, Kurt came to the rescue as he skipped down the stairs, and oh, Lord, was he a vision. Blaine may not make it through dinner without a bib to catch the drool.

"Dad!" he said, exasperated, and rolled his eyes. "Blaine and I are going—"

"Is this a date? Because you didn't tell anyone you were dating. And everyone thought Blaine was dating that Sebastian guy," Finn interrupted. "Rachel said she heard you and Blaine were dating. Why didn't you tell anyone?" he asked, curious now.

"Maybe because it's none of Rachel's business? And who the heck told her anyway?" Kurt retorted, irritated that Rachel was spreading the word without Kurt's consent or knowledge.

"She heard Blaine telling Sebastian at the Lima Bean this morning. She said they were bickering, and Sebastian was all smirky, and Blaine was upset—"

"I wasn't upset—"

"So, she was just eavesdropping and putting her nose in where it didn't belong and then spreading rumors instead of keeping her mouth shut?" Kurt shot back. Blaine felt like he'd been slapped. Now, he was just a rumor? He was so confused. He thought Kurt wanted people to know they were "dating" so Dave would back off. Now, he felt like a dirty little secret. But then why were they going out to "see and be seen?" He was so confused.

"Boys!" Carole called from the hallway. "Perhaps someone might allow Blaine to actually enter our home?" she said sweetly. "Hello, sweetheart. You look very handsome this evening," she said as she tugged Blaine in for a hug. "Where are you boys headed?" Man, Blaine just loved Carole.

"The, uh…restaurant…Breadstix…" Blaine uttered, still unsure where he stood.

"And it's just the two of you? For dinner? At a nice…okay. Well, reasonably suitable-for-a-date restaurant? Is this a date?" Burt asked. Kurt turned 87 shades of pink and hesitated just long enough for Blaine to become even more uncomfortable and Burt to get suspicious.

"Yes, Blaine is taking me on a date! Why are you interrogating me?" Kurt asked, looking down his nose.

"Is there a reason for an interrogation?" Finn asked, curious as well.

"You don't even know what 'interrogation' means!" Kurt snapped, eyes wide and uncertain as to why Finn even gave a hoot. It wasn't as if Kurt was ever on his radar anyway.

"Blaine and I…" Kurt began, but from the look on his face, Blaine could tell he wasn't keen on lying to Burt or anyone else for that matter. He had to step in and make it right.

"May I just borrow Kurt for…just like…30 seconds? Please?" Blaine asked, eyes as bright as his charming smile. He took Kurt's hand and pulled him down the hallway toward the guest restroom and turned the boy to look at him. "Kurt? Would you go to Prom with me?"

"What? We already—"

"Kurt!" Blaine hissed. "Answer the question. Would you go to McKinley's Prom with me? I would like that very much," he finished with a smile. Kurt was clearly confused.

"Of course, I will. Why are you asking me this?"

"Because now you don't have to lie to your dad. You can tell him I asked you to Prom and you accepted. Period. Now, can we get out there and get the Great Inquisition over with?" Blaine blinked at him several times, waiting for an answer.

"Yeah… Yes. Let's get this show on the road," Kurt said, unsure where they stood now. Blaine seemed exasperated, and Kurt wasn't sure if it was the fact that he'd been ambushed the minute he walked in the door or if he was uptight about the "date" in general. They walked back down the hallway to three sets of waiting eyes and Finn with his hands on his hips.

"Sorry about that. Just needed a minute with Kurt," Blaine smiled, charming them all as he always did.

"Dad, Blaine asked me to the Prom, and I accepted. We're going out to dinner tonight at Breadstix, and yes, it's a date," Kurt said, sending Blaine a sweet little grin. Blaine returned it, and Kurt relaxed just a little bit.

Burt seemed satisfied with that explanation, and Carole did as well. Finn, on the other hand, still looked like they were planning a bank robbery, not dinner. Kurt just rolled his eyes at his stepbrother and took Blaine's hand.

"Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a reservation. See you later!" he said happily as he pulled Blaine out the door and down the front walkway to the driveway and the car that awaited them. Blaine held the door for Kurt, then walked around and got in the driver's seat before waving back at Carole, who stood in the doorway.

"Be careful, guys!" Carole called. "Have fun!"

"We will!" Kurt called back.

Blaine backed out of the driveway and headed toward Breadstix.

"Thank you," Kurt said, not looking at Blaine but at his lap instead.

"For?"

"For this…for all of it. Seriously. Not every friend would go to these lengths, and I appreciate it," Kurt said sincerely. "You're the best friend I've ever had, and I don't know what I'd do without you in my life, Blaine."

Oh, God. There it was. The "f-word" again. Blaine resisted the urge to sigh long and loud and maybe even roll his eyes. Instead, he took a deep breath and glanced at Kurt.

"I'm doing this because you are my best friend. I truly enjoy your company. I don't want you to have to fend off advances from Dave Karofsky if you can help it, and I just really want to hang out, go to Prom with you, and have fun. I think we can safely manage that, Kurt. Don't you?" Blaine smiled. There. That was…friend-ly, wasn't it? No pressure.

"It's just…a lot. I know I'm a lot. It's okay if you're not comfortable, and at any time, you change your mind. You just let me know, okay? I'll…I'll find a way to just tell him no and let him down easy."

"It's not a lot. It's easy as can be, you and me, hanging out. There's absolutely nothing difficult about that, Kurt. We're just going to…" Blaine began, but then his mind went on a little journey of its own, flashing scenes at him fast as lightning, and he began to wonder. Exactly how were they going to convince people that they were dating and not just best friends as they'd always appeared? To really bring it home, to make people believe they were actually dating , they'd have to ramp it up. They needed to discuss this and figure out where their boundaries were.

"Blaine?"

"Huh?"

"You paused mid-sentence and kinda…zoned out," Kurt said, wondering if it had just dawned on Blaine how much this was going to change things.

"No. I'm good… We're good. But I think we have a lot to talk about if we're going to make this believable."

Dinner would have been very nice if their server, Cassidy, hadn't fallen over herself trying to hit on Blaine all evening. It was only made worse by the fact that it was a girl. A very cute girl. A very determined, cute girl, and Blaine, charming as ever, was not at all direct enough to make her back off. By the time their food arrived, she'd touched Blaine four times, batted her eyelashes at him, giggled at everything he'd said—including "I'll have the ravioli…"—and Kurt was done with it. When she grabbed Blaine's glass to go fetch him a refill, Kurt seized the opportunity.

"Whoa. Wha—" Blaine said, eyes wide as Kurt scooted out of his side of the booth and into Blaine's side, snuggling up closely. He yanked his own plate over and sliced off a bite of his lasagna, then held it up to Blaine's mouth just as Cassidy returned.

"You'll love this… Wanna bite?" Kurt asked, his eyes dreamy as he watched Blaine open his mouth and taste the offered morsel.

"Mmm, yeah. That's…that's really good," Blaine said, looking at Kurt strangely as Cassidy hovered just around the corner where Blaine couldn't see her. Kurt certainly could, though.

"Oh, you have a little…um…" Kurt said shyly, leaning in to wipe his finger over a little speck of sauce on Blaine's lip. "I thought you'd enjoy that," he said, voice low as he leaned in and kissed Blaine's cheek.

Blaine almost slid off the seat, unsure what had brought that on, and he barely resisted the urge to scan the restaurant to see who was watching. Was Dave there? Was Kurt trying to make a point? One thing was certain, he didn't mind that little peck on the cheek at all.

"Enjoyed that… Yes… Yeah…" Blaine said dreamily, unsure he could form words at the moment.

"Here," Cassidy said, thumping Blaine's glass back on the table as she gave Kurt the nastiest glare, just out of Blaine's line of vision. Kurt returned a sweet smile and batted his eyelashes at her. Take that, little girl!

"You…" Blaine said, still a little baffled as he touched his cheek with his fingertips.

"Was that too much?" Kurt asked, genuinely concerned that he'd overstepped and Blaine wasn't okay with it.

"NO! I mean…not too much. You can…if you want. I just wasn't expecting it; that's all. Took me a little bit by surprise but…who doesn't want dessert in the middle of their meal?" he smiled and winked, and Kurt…melted.

This arrangement might just kill him. What had he started, and would he be able to finish it without a broken heart?
_*_

Sebastian barely resisted the urge to grimace as he read his text messages.

Hamhock: Looks like your boy is out with my boy for dinner.

Sebastian: And you just happened to be there as well? Or were you strategically placed, watching? Then following?

Hamhock: Happened to be driving by Kurt's place when I saw them leave together. Breadstix is on my way home, so…yeah.

Sebastian: BREADSTIX? Why in God's name would they go THERE?

Hamhock: It's close. Everyone goes there. It's not cheap but not expensive either. Who knows? Still think Blaine was cheating on you with Kurt while you guys were going out?

Sebastian: Don't care. What I want is the last piece of the puzzle that I had nearly completed… before he gives it up to Gayface. I was well on my way before Blaine decided to drop by unannounced.

Hamhock: Keep it in your pants and you won't have to worry about that kinda crap.

Sebastian: I assure you, keeping it in my pants is nowhere near as fun as letting it out to play. One day, maybe, you'll figure that out, too.

Hamhock: Yeah. Well, you could be that much further with Blaine if you'd just kept anyone else out of the equation. And as long as Blaine was dating YOU, Kurt thought he wasn't an option for HIM. Now, look where we are.

Sebastian: Are you here to question my sexcapades or win over Hummel? You want something. I want something. Those somethings apparently want each other, so it's going to take both of us working together to get what WE want.

Sebastian: Well?

Hamhock: Yeah. I'm in.

Sebastian: Good. Meet you Monday at the Lima Bean to strategize. 3:00 p.m. Be on time.

Hamhock: It's my first day back at McKinley. School's not out until 2:50. I'll be there right after.

Hamhock: They're leaving the restaurant now.

Sebastian: OMG! You're still there!?

Hamhock: Figured I was already here, may as well see it through.

Sebastian: Oh, Dave… You've got it bad. That, or you're a deranged stalker…which kinda creeps even ME out a little.

Hamhock: I'm NOT a stalker. I just like knowing where Kurt is and what he's doing. And who he's doing it with.

Sebastian: He'd better not be doing IT with anyone, especially not Blaine. That cherry is MY dessert and nobody else's.

x_x

Note from GleefulDarrenCrissFan: Don't forget to review. Chapter 3 will be posted Sunday. A special shoutout to teddyshoney for editing each chapter.