Chapter 8
By Honeysucklepink

Saturday, March 31, the day after Rachel's Party

"God, it's about time, Hamhock. I've been waiting here forever!" Sebastian was frustrated. He had shown up at The Lima Bean at the assigned time, but if he had known that the Fairy Princess and his friend Aretha Franklin were going to be there, he would have arrived sooner and gotten a table near them to eavesdrop. Instead, they were just leaving when he pulled into the parking lot. When Dave finally arrived, Sebastian's coffee was already getting cold. Not that it was even good coffee, nothing like what he got in Parisian cafes.

"Relax, Sebastian, it's been 15 minutes," Dave said, taking off his jacket and putting it on the chair. "I had to help my dad with some stuff around the house. Wait here. I'm going to get something to drink."

"Not going anywhere." Sebastian rolled his eyes but waited, sipping his coffee and wincing. It tasted burnt, but it was still caffeine.

Dave returned with something that looked more like dessert than coffee. "What's got you so wound up?"

"Nothing. You just missed Bravo's least favorite Real Housewives side characters leaving."

"Huh?"

"Ugh. You know, Kurt and that black girl friend of his…"

"Mercedes?"

"Yeah. Whatever. I'll bet she's totally in on selling Kurt and Blaine's fake relationship. We could have spied on them and overheard them plotting."

"Or they could have overheard us ," Dave said. "I mean, don't the two of us look a little suspicious being together?"

"I hate to hand it to you, but you have a point," Sebastian said. "Okay. Next time, we pick a less conspicuous place."

"Why do you need to spy on them anyway? Aren't you getting enough information from their phones? Don't tell me I broke into Kurt's locker and copied his SIM card for nothing."

Sebastian pulled out the burner phone he had been using to monitor Kurt and Blaine's texts to each other. "You might as well have," he said, tossing it on the table in between them. "I've been reading these for weeks, and I want to die from the boredom. There's one whole night where they just send each other cheesy pick-up lines. Honestly, they're barely PG-13. Not even one dick pic I can use for blackmail. Blaine must be dying of sexual frustration."

"Or sex isn't as important to him as it is to you."

"Any guy who says that is lying. Based on these, I certainly don't think they're really dating, but it's not enough. I need more proof. Which is where you come in. Anything from the party the other night?"

"I mean, not really?" Dave shifted in his seat, looking uncomfortable. "I don't know if we should be doing this anymore."

"What? You can't back out now; we're so close to catching them in the lie!"

"You didn't see Kurt the other night," Dave said. He looked around nervously then leaned in. "At Rachel's party, Santana decided to start a game of spin the bottle. Frankly, she didn't give anyone a choice. Anyway, when it was Kurt's turn to spin…it landed on me."

"You dog!" Sebastian howled. "What'd you do, put a weight in the bottle or something? And how does he kiss? I bet like some little girl kissing her pony."

"No. It wasn't like that. We didn't kiss at all. In fact, he ran off." Dave sighed. "I really thought he'd forgiven me for all of it. Maybe he did, but he sure as hell didn't forget."

"Forget what?"

"When, um…when I was trying to sort my shit out last year, I took a lot of it… No. I took all of it out on Kurt. I stalked him, threatened him, intimidated him…right up until he stopped being scared of me. One day, I did my daily locker-check on him. You know, putting him in his place in the high school hierarchy. Except this time, he didn't back down. He didn't cower like usual. Instead, he chased me down the hallway and followed me into the locker room. He got all up in my face, just screaming at me, like he just…snapped. Telling me I was worthless, I was scared, I was ordinary. And…that's when I grabbed his face, and I kissed him."

Fuck. Sebastian wasn't expecting that. He knew Dave had bullied Kurt, but this was something else. "And what happened next?"

"He pulled away, had this look on his face, like pure…terror. And I think I maybe went back in to kiss him again, like maybe he'd understand that it wasn't just spontaneous, like I meant it, but he just shoved me again, hard . And that's when I realized, Fuck. I just outed myself , and I freaked out and ran."

Sebastian was stunned. He knew Dave was obsessed, but that was a little far. "Dude, you know I'm a grade-A manwhore, and I freely own that shit. But even I get consent first."

"I know, and I regret it. I really do. I would never pull that kind of thing again with anyone. You know I found out later it had been the first time a guy ever kissed him? I mean, he'd kissed Brittany, but I guess when you're a gay dude, that doesn't really count. Well, that and everyone at McKinley has kissed Brittany; even I've done that."

"And now I'm finding out Hummel's not even a gold-star gay. Shit, today is full of surprises."

"I don't know what I've been thinking. You should have seen Kurt's face last night. Like, the idea of kissing me freaked him out so much, it practically disgusted him. He had to run away, the thought of it was so awful. There's no getting him to date me after that."

"Wait a minute," Sebastian said, realizing something but also needing to interrupt Dave's descent into further self-loathing. "You said Kurt spun the bottle. So, he had to have kissed someone else before he landed on you. Who did he kiss?"

"Blaine. You know, now that I think about it, it was hardly a kiss."

"How so?"

"I mean, when Blaine showed up with all his prep school buddies, they did this whole sexy, bad boy performance, and it ended with him landing a big kiss on Kurt, like a really intense thing with tongue and stuff. But then it got weird. I think Kurt was avoiding Blaine, but then they both disappeared somewhere, and then during the game, Kurt just gave him a peck. Like the kind I'd give my grandma."

"Interesting." Seb pondered. "Could be that Lady Face isn't big on PDA and was pissed at Blaine. But I'll bet it's more like they couldn't keep up the act all night. So, that means I still have a chance."

—*—

Monday, April 2

When Kurt got back to school Monday morning, he was a little apprehensive. He had meant to catch up with Blaine in person over the weekend, but apparently, " Something came up. Family emergency, " and they texted back and forth all weekend instead. He did find out that what had happened between Nick and Jeff at Rachel's party had been a huge misunderstanding fueled by Puck's evil concoction. Rachel had left out of her drunken ramble late Friday night that the bottle game went another couple of rounds and that Brittany had taken over from Dave, landed on Nick, and made out with him a little longer than to Jeff's liking. Blaine was happy to say that after a little mediation, Nick and Jeff had reconciled.

Kurt, in turn, had let Blaine know that Mercedes was now in on the ruse and that she wasn't mad anymore (he didn't say that Mercedes had offered to play Cupid or that he was happy to let her). So, it seemed that the plan was back on track… Operation Fake Date was still a go, complete with a dual Prom King run. But it still didn't explain why he hadn't seen Blaine all weekend or this morning.

It was close to lunchtime by the time Kurt was back at his locker when he sensed Blaine approaching. He turned to see Blaine back in his usual look: gelled hair, a gray striped cardigan, and a snappy bow tie. His jeans were dark and cuffed, not a single rip or tear to be seen. Blaine did a little spin and held out his hands as if on display. "Better?"

"Much. I appreciate the bad boy look as much as anyone, but let's leave that to Puckerman. I'm happy to see the old 'Sandy Olsen' back that I know and love." Kurt motioned to Blaine's outfit, and it was then he realized that Blaine's smile wasn't reaching his eyes. "Oh, no. What's wrong? Does this have anything to do with the family emergency you hinted at?"

"Maybe? Yes, actually. It's just… My brother is back in town. Actually, he's insisting on coming here and taking me to lunch."

"Ah, the elusive older brother that I have yet to meet. Does he know you're 'dating' someone?"

"That would require him paying attention to someone who is not himself, so highly unlikely."

"Blainey!" Kurt and Blaine both turned to the voice that called out down the hall. Kurt's jaw dropped… Walking towards them was the tall and devastatingly handsome star of the /savings commercials! He loved those ads and even had the jingle as his ringtone. He glanced over at Blaine, who looked almost…embarrassed? Why, when they were being approached by the most handsome man in North America (next to Blaine, of course)?

"Cooper," Blaine said as he accepted a hug from the man. "You didn't have to come inside the school. I was going to meet you in the parking lot."

"And miss the opportunity to schmooze with my fans, Squirt? Never. No, that Coach Sue gave me a full hall pass, after signing her breast, of course. Fascinating woman. And who's this? This the boyfriend that Mom was gushing about?" He held his hand out for Kurt to shake, which he took enthusiastically.

"My boyfriend, yes. Of course, Mom told you." And Kurt remembered, Oh, right. Gotta keep up the boyfriend thing. "Kurt, this is my brother, Cooper Anderson. Coop, meet Kurt Hummel."

"He's your brother? Why didn't you tell me before?" Kurt shook Cooper's hand enthusiastically. "I love your commercials!" He could swear he almost heard Blaine murmur, "That's why ," but he was still a bit starstruck.

"Guilty as charged on both counts," Cooper said, his smile dazzling and oozing with charm. Must run in the family , Kurt guessed. "So, how long have you and my little brother been dating?"

"Cooper, stop," Blaine groused. Kurt supposed he didn't count on having to lie to his brother as well.

Kurt jumped to the rescue. "Not too long. Shortly before Valentine's. But we've been friends for so long, we just sort of fell naturally into it." He recounted their entire friendship-to-"relationship" story as he and Blaine had created it, told him about the New Directions, and mentioned that many of them were planning to attend performing arts colleges after graduation.

"Oh, no. Bad idea," Cooper said. "No, you don't want to waste time going to school when you could be auditioning and getting into the industry right now! Learning on your feet and all of that, right, Blainey?"

"I wish you would stop calling me that."

Cooper snapped his fingers. "I got it! Why don't I come by your Glee class this week, do a couple of free lessons? I'm sure your teacher won't mind, especially since I'm giving his students the rare opportunity to learn from a professional. The Cooper Anderson Method, exclusively for you guys!"

"I'm sure Mr. Schuester won't mind at all. I'll ask him today!"

"Great! Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get this squirt to lunch and back in time for, what, history? Calculus? Some other class that has nothing to do with acting?" He playfully nudged Blaine's head, causing Blaine to smooth down his hair.

"Spanish, actually."

"Ah, sí! ¡Eso será útil para las telenovelas! Great meeting you, Kurt."

Blaine waved and mumbled, "Bye," then turned and walked with Cooper.

As Kurt watched them both walk away, he couldn't help noticing they both had very attractive butts. That ran in the family, too? Kurt was still hoping that this thing with Blaine would become real someday, but heck. He may be older, but depending how Cooper swung…

Just… Blaine's brother was absolutely amazing.

—*—

Thursday, April 5

Blaine's brother was absolutely infuriating.

When Cooper had called from the airport on Saturday with a "Surprise!" and an apology for missing their grandmother's birthday ("I was auditioning for a super secret project, and the director's name just might rhyme with Bichael May "), Blaine could have forgiven him, even though it meant missing spending the rest of the weekend with Kurt. But showing up at his school, flirting with everyone (but especially Kurt), and everyone making googly-eyes at Cooper (but especially Kurt) was making him ill. It just reminded him that Cooper was the special one, and Blaine was just… Blaine.

After they had lunch that day (where Cooper humiliated him by testing out his awful accents on the poor Breadstix waitress), Kurt told him that Mr. Schue had okayed Cooper coming to class that week as a way to dissuade the seniors from doing Skip Day. Now, Blaine had to sit in the choir room while Cooper gave acting lessons. Worse, he watched as all of his classmates gobbled up all of his bad guidance with a spoon. Pointing, speaking loudly, ignoring your scene partner? This was terrible advice. And Kurt was writing notes, lapping it up voraciously. Blaine had thought there were hints of Kurt reciprocating his feelings, especially at Rachel's party. Heck, he was pretty sure they were going to kiss again until Mercedes showed up. But now? All he could remember was Kurt begging him to do the Duran Duran medley with Cooper on Tuesday. Hearing "You're both so handsome and good!" should have made him feel better. But it didn't. Actually, for a split second, he wondered if Kurt didn't want them both (to which he shivered an "Ew!" to himself).

He probably could have held in his outburst during their practice run of an NCIS scene, but when Cooper looked at him with a straight face and said, "A man in a dress is dead," he couldn't take it anymore.

"God, Cooper, why do you have to be like this?!" he yelled.

"There you go, Squirt! Now, point while you're yelling!"

Ugh, he really didn't get it. "I'm not acting, Coop. This is actually me actually yelling at you!" Now, the rest of the Glee Club was focused on them, awkwardly standing by. Even Tina was frozen on the floor, unsure if she should sit up or keep playing dead. "Ever since we were kids, you've had to turn everything into a competition, and I was never good enough. It was always, 'You need to watch your rhythm, Blaine,' 'Try to keep up, Blaine,' 'Blaine, you need to focus.' Never once did I get support!"

Cooper looked like he'd been hit with a brick. "Blaine, of course, I support you. I just wanted you to reach your potential."

"Then tell me when I'm doing well! It's always about what I'm not doing right! And then, I have to watch you waltz into my school, watch everyone fall all over themselves because you're so charming, watch Kurt practically salivate over you. God you even cast your spell over my own boyfriend…" Well, now he was exposing himself… So what if it was the truth? It was what he and Kurt were convincing everyone of, right? "I'm done with this, Cooper, done with you ." And at that, he stormed off.

Blaine went to the locker room first to take out his frustrations on the punching bag. He threw as many punches that he could, throttling the bag until his shoulders and hands ached. He hit the shower afterward, turning the water to as hot as he could stand it. He let the steam and the pressure pound into his muscles and his lungs, but it didn't completely release the frustration he felt toward Cooper, Kurt, or himself. He toweled off, got dressed, reapplied his gel, then made his way to the auditorium, where he did the only other thing he could think of when his emotions were too much…sing them out.

When he finished the last lines of "Fighter," he heard applause from the wings.

"Should have known I would find you here," Kurt said as he stepped out onto the stage.

"I'm fine." Blaine shrugged.

"As a wise man once told me, 'fine' doesn't sing like you just sung," Kurt said. "That was quite the outburst you had in the choir room. Nice touch dragging me into it, by the way. But I know that wasn't all about me. Want to talk about it?"

"It's just… Cooper . He has to be so handsome and talented and charming and enigmatic, and I've watched you trip over your own feet at the mere sight of him all week. I mean, his acting advice isn't even that good."

Kurt looked…amused? "Blaine, are you jealous?"

"What? No, of course not. I'm… Okay. Maybe a little." Blaine had to admit it; he was totally jealous of Kurt's crush on Cooper, mainly because it wasn't on him. Maybe this was his chance to open up, tell Kurt exactly how he really felt? But ugh, in the middle of the hallway between classes was not the way he wanted to do it. Kurt deserved romance and wooing. This wasn't the right time. So… "Cooper just has this ability to make everybody love him and make me feel like, well, not that." There. That was technically the truth, too.

"Blaine, Cooper is handsome and charming, sure, but he's not you ," Kurt said. "And by the way, everybody in that choir room loves you, too. Cooper was just something new and shiny; that's all. And if I'm being totally honest? Yeah. He's a little full of himself."

"He is," Blaine nodded.

"Speaking of people who love you… A little birdie told me he might be waiting back in the choir room. Don't worry. The rest of the Glee Club already left. You two need to really talk. I think you touched a nerve; he was pretty upset."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Really. You know, he really does think you're talented. He just didn't know how to tell you. I have a feeling he's open to finding another way than what he's been doing."

Blaine hoped that was the case. His brother infuriated him, but he still loved the guy. "Are you going home?"

"No. Need to stop by the garage first. See you later?"

Just then, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Dave Karofsky awkwardly hovering near the back auditorium door. Blaine acted quickly. "Of course, you will, honey," he said before he leaned in to Kurt without warning and kissed him softly on the lips. He nestled his face into Kurt's neck just long enough to whisper, "Dave's watching," before finishing a hug, taking the opportunity to inhale Kurt's scent. He then went in search of his brother to put out the other fire he had started.

He found Cooper in the choir room, right where he'd left him. He was sitting at the piano (apparently Brad had cleared out, too), plinking out the opening notes to another Duran Duran song and murmuring the lyrics to himself. "Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue…"

"Thought I heard you talking softly," Blaine finished the line.

Cooper startled slightly and stopped, turning on the bench. "Hey."

"Hi," Blaine said, his head bent, eyes down. "Look…

"I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry…"

Cooper laughed at their unintended synchronicity. "Um, you first."

Blaine shook his head, but said, "Okay. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, especially in front of everyone. I think I embarrassed both of us."

"You probably did," Cooper agreed. "But also, I guess I deserved it. Maybe you were right. I guess I just wanted you to do well so badly that I focused more on correcting your mistakes than all the ways you were already talented."

"You…you think I'm talented?"

"Squirt, if I didn't think you were, you think I would bother pushing you so hard to succeed?" Cooper stood up. "Blaine, I've been in Hollywood for years , and my big break is a commercial that airs during Dr. Phil and late-night, syndicated reruns of CSI: Miami . But you…with your Disney Prince looks? Your voice and stage presence? You're gonna take it all by storm. Movies, music, Broadway…"

"I thought Broadway was dead. Your words."

"You'll single-handedly revive it. I just wanted you to be the absolute best. And everyone can use some improvement, like your dancing."

"Coop…"

"What I'm trying to say is, I assumed you already knew how good you were at the other stuff. But I guess everyone needs some reassurance every now and then. So, this is me saying it. Blaine, you are awesome, and I can't wait to see what you do next."

"Thanks, Cooper." Blaine and Cooper met in a hug.

Cooper patted Blaine's shoulder and said to him, "And by the way, that boyfriend of yours is a keeper. Hold on to him."

"Huh?" Blaine pulled from the hug.

"Kurt. Let me tell you, after you left, he tore into me. Said I was being ungrateful and unfair to you and how you were right, that I was focused on the negative and not seeing all the wonderful things you are."

Blaine blinked. Wonderful ? "Things like what?"

"Like how you'll do anything for your friends, that you're probably the most talented and gorgeous guy he's ever met, and that I don't know how lucky I am to have you for a brother."

"Well, he's right on that last one."

"And on the others, too. Don't sell yourself short."

Blaine smiled. If Kurt really did think all of those things…was there a chance?

Cooper walked back to sit at the piano. "Now, how about one more Duran Duran number…for the road?"

"Sure. Why not?" Blaine said, leaning on the other side. "And after, we can work on your audition tape."

"Audition?"

"For the Michael Bay movie. I think you might sell yourself short, too, Cooper. If anyone belongs in the Transformers franchise it's you."

"Thanks, Squirt."

As they started over again on "Ordinary World," Blaine couldn't help but let his imagination drift back to what Kurt had apparently told Cooper. And if he had really ripped into him like he had said, he was either a great actor… or both of their outbursts tended to reveal truth in anger.

Notes from Gleeful DarrenCrissFan: The next chapter, written by starpunchsoup, will be posted Saturday morning. This fic is completely finished, thanks to Teddyshoney, who edited each chapter. Don't forget to leave a review and let the author know your thoughts.