Notes: I'd like to thank merendinoemiliano once again for the review.
And I'm sorry, but I really wasn't in the mood for writing fights in this chapter. This is going to be a light one, full of character banter and bad jokes.

Chapter 8

Nico was starting to get bored. The drill was always the same: they reached a new floor, Nero would wipe out the demons, she would watch – sometimes while smoking –, he got inside the vehicle again and up they went. By the time they reached the eighteenth floor, something different had finally happened: a big three-headed icy hound waited for them. It was the same Cerberus Dante had fought years earlier, although the young devil hunter had no idea.

"Another dog? Is this some kind of sign?" He hadn't even bothered to rise from his seat yet.

"The hell are ya talking about?" The gunsmith stared at him with a raised eyebrow.

"You know... For taking the next step with Kyrie."

"Oooh, I get it. Dog, doggy style... Wanna finally have wild sex with her, huh?" Nico grinned as she raised her eyebrows together twice and she got closer to his face, which had turned a deep red.

He pushed her away by placing one of his hands all over her face and yelled: "I'm talking about we getting a dog, you freak!"

She adjusted her glasses on her face, which had almost fallen. "You take care of a bunch of orphans... How's getting a dog the next step?" She mumbled.

"The orphans don't live with us!"

Cerberus roared, annoyed for being ignored for so long.

"Kick that thing's ass first and then we can go back to it." The brunette dragged Nero out of the RV by his coat and kicked his butt.

"Always charming." He mumbled as he walked towards Cerberus. "Sorry, pooch, I was having a little debate back there."

"You shouldn't ignore the likes of me!"

"Yeah, yeah, different day, same speech." He grabbed the Red Queen from his back and charged at the demon.

Meanwhile, Dante had just reached the same floor, Phoebe and him were in a childish competition between who finished off more demons. She had managed to place a counter above their heads with magic, and the half demon was winning by a few points. They stood there for a few minutes, waiting for any demon to show up, when the sorceress noticed something different on the wall.

"Hey, look, we can actually see Nero from here." The shared wall between his room and theirs looked like a bee comb, and they could see the other side through the holes.

"If that ain't Fido!" He grinned, talking about the ice hound. "Still smells like a wet dog, though."

"My, my, what a handsome devil."

They both slowly turned their heads to look behind them: it was Nevan in all her glory. Greenish skin, her long red hair covering her nipples and all. Phoebe took a few seconds wondering whether she should be mad or horny. The devil hunter knew he could act cool because the sorceress had never shown any signs of jealousy.

"Holy shit, she's hot." She whispered, making him laugh.

"Well, well, I'm sorry, but this time this handsome devil is taken." He had his usual smug smile and talked with his arms stretched.

"By someone other than me, in case you're interested." The former devil hunter wasn't joking, her bisexuality was getting the best out of her at that moment. It was like she was being pulled by some seductive energy.

She shrugged when the half demon looked at her with a raised eyebrow. However, after some careful consideration, the thought of the two redheads having sex right in front of him was really... pleasant.

"I'm sorry, but you're not my type." Nevan seductively said.

"Ouch."

"Since I'm apparently available now... Shall we dance?" Dante quickly grabbed Ebony & Ivory and repeatedly shot at the demoness.

As they fought each other, Phoebe just leaned against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest and a displeased look in her eyes. Especially when the half demon got too close and Nevan would take the opportunity to stroke any part of his thorax.

To be honest, the legendary devil hunter could quickly get that fight over with. But first, he was always open to having fun in a fight, and second, he noticed the sorceress would narrow her eyes everytime the demoness touched him. When Nevan was starting to get weak and was about to fall on her back, Dante grabbed her and let her rest on his arms.

"Also a gentleman just like your father."

When the demoness caressed his cheek, Phoebe just felt something at the bottom of her heart that she never had felt before. Was it... possessiveness? She had never been jealous, she had never needed to because Dante had never paid attention to any woman who had a crush on him. He enjoyed the chase, the idea of winning a woman over even though he sucked at it. Easy wasn't fun. Also, whenever they were together, they wouldn't pay attention to anyone else.

Well, except the sorceress' weak moment just a few minutes ago, but she could swear there was something in the air. Before she had even realized what she was doing, Phoebe had teleported to the demoness side, grabbed her by the hair and smashed it against the ground with her telekinesis. The half demon stood there, staring at her with the most malicious and satisfied grin she had ever seen on his face.

"You're jealous." He teased, his index finger pointing at her face.

Was he right? Yes. Would she admit it? Not in a hundred years. "I don't know what you're talking about." She made that poker face he knew pretty damn well.

"Ooh, I didn't know that side of you. So hot." Dante clicked his tongue and could swear he saw her eyes shining for a tiny second with pure hatred at the sound.

"My reflexes have been acting weird lately!" She barked.

"It's okay to admit you only want your handsome half demon to yourself."

He had the most malicious grin she had ever seen as he got closer to her face. All he wanted at that moment was to break that annoying poker face of hers. The sorceress kicked his right shin with enough force to actually make the half demon feel pain.

"Hey!"

"See? Bad reflexes." She grinned as she watched him rub the injury. Although that wasn't going to stop him.

"It's funny because I should be the offended part, you practically left me for her." Dante said with mocking drama, he had a hand on his heart and the other on his forehead. The redhead rolled her eyes.

"There was something in her aura, I wasn't thinking straight!"

"That's right, you were thinking bi."

Phoebe furrowed her eyebrows as she stared at him, that joke had been so bad she decided to use a spell to create the sound of crickets in the background.

"Wow. Tough crowd." He muttered.

Before the half demon could continue teasing her, they heard yelling coming from the other room. As good appreciators of gossip that they were, they got closer to the wall to find out what was going on. Nero looked like a tomato, his cheeks completely flushed as he pointed a finger at the gunsmith's face.

"What is wrong with you?!"

"I'm just trying to help ya!" She shrugged. She sat on the RV's stairs as the devil hunter stood in the middle of the room. "Ya need to step up your game!"

"What's wrong with the kid?" Dante asked.

"I'm trying to give Nero some sex advice because he saw dogs twice today, but thinks it's a sign for him to get a dog." Nico yelled from where she was standing, and Nero decided to hide his face in his palms.

"Totally a sex sign!" The couple said in unison and high-fived right after.

"Why would it be a sign to actually get a dog?" The half demon wondered out loud. "You need to feed it, take it for a walk, they might chew your stuff... It's a lot of responsibility."

"Maybe some people enjoy being responsible, old man!" His nephew spat, full of anger. He started pacing around the room. Nero was just different from his uncle, who still wanted to live his carefree life like a teenager, and especially from his father, who didn't care about him.

"Don't you two already take care of a bunch of orphans?" Dante raised an eyebrow.

"That's exactly what I told him!" The brunette yelled again as she lit up a cigarette.

Good, because things weren't bad enough for the young devil hunter, now he would have to deal with the smoke and the smell.

"Okay, so you leave for work and your girlfriend needs to take care of orphans and a dog? Doesn't seem fair." Phoebe said.

He stopped and stared at the redhead. Unfortunately, she had a point. He wondered about that as he scratched the bridge of his nose.

"Getting better at sex would make her happier than getting a dog." His uncle shrugged.

"Where did you guys get the idea that I'm bad at it?!" Nero yelled again, he could feel his sanity leaving his body as that conversation progressed further.

"You were raised in a religious order." The legendary devil hunter pointed it out.

"It's written all over your face." Nico added.

"I'm just going along with their opinions." Phoebe shrugged. She honestly had no idea.

"Just talk to her about it."

They all turned their heads in the direction of the fifth voice: it was Vergil. His son became legitimately surprised, it technically was the first father advice of his life. But he still had a doubt that would make the older son of Sparda regret engaging in the conversation:

"About sex or the dog?" Nero scratched the back of his head.

"Both." He groaned.

"That's actually pretty good advice. Way to go, bro!" Dante was mocking, however, deep down he felt proud of his brother for actually trying to help his son instead of cutting off his arm.

"You fools should listen to the oldest person in the room every now and then." He groaned again, causing his twin to laugh.

"Yeah, that's actually Pheebs."

He only realized his mistake when he looked to his side and saw the redhead with arms crossed over her chest and murderous intent glowing in her eyes. For some reason he never understood, she hated being older than him, so she usually lied about her age.

"... Only by eight months, though." There he was, trying to fix things but causing more damage instead.

"Seven." Phoebe said between gritted teeth.

And twenty-four days, but he decided to keep it to himself. Vergil took the momentary distraction as an opportunity to leave.

"Well, now that everybody gave their opinion on my personal life, I'll get going." Nero announced as he walked towards the RV. The gunsmith started the engine and they went on their way, leaving the half demon and the sorceress behind.

"Sooo, someone got a tiny connection with his daddy." Nico teased. "How did it feel?"

"It wasn't a connection..."

She interrupted him. "Oh, c'mon! Don't take this from me, I need to know how it feels like!"

"It..." He had no idea what to say, he still was trying to absorb what had just happened himself. "It was nice."

"That's it?!" She slammed her hand against the wheel, her eyes narrowed with anger.

"I'm not getting my hopes up, have you met the guy?!"

"As cold as an ice cube..." They both nodded their heads in agreement, and Nico took a cigarette. "But those usually are hot as hell in bed."

Nero slowly turned his head to face her, disgust stamped on his face. "What?!"

"What?" She lit up the cigarette and brought it to her mouth.

"Are you thinking about fucking my father?!"

The brunette was disgusted by the idea of having sex with her friend's father, but she would hide that fact so she could tease him.

"What if I am?"

"You're awful."

"Awn, don't you tell me you wouldn't like the idea of me being your stepmother?" She had a devilish gleam in her eyes and a grin on her face as the cigarette hung from her mouth. Nero put his head outside the vehicle's window, pretending to puke. "I'll even let you call me mommy."

"Enough with the mental images!"

"You're such a cry baby." Nico burst out in laughter as he rolled his eyes.

"If you were my stepmother, I'd just jump from this tower to kill myself."

"I doubt that'd kill your demon ass."

"Then please run me over with this RV over and over again until you're sure I'm dead." He mumbled.

Meanwhile, on the nineteenth floor, Vergil stood in the middle of the room, staring at the pile of dead demons by his feet. He sheathed Yamato as he wondered what was wrong with his chest, it felt weird and he knew for a fact it couldn't be a heart attack. Did it feel... warm? Could it be because of how he talked to his son a few moments ago?

No, he had gotten rid of feelings like this a long time ago. It was nothing but foolishness that would get in the way of him getting more power. What that sorceress had told him had just messed with his mind, that's all.

Or maybe she was right after all.