Peace.
Nothingness.
Darkness.
That is where I was. I felt nothing.
Then pain, a sharp pain, a little light comes into view.
The pain is more intense, it's in my left pictorial nerve. Something was drilling in it.
My eyes open and I see Flieute knuckling into my left chest.
"Just let me die," I say.
"I'm not going to let you take the easy way out," he responded.
My eyes were fully open, and the scene came into view. I was once again constrained in the lab with an IV drip in my right hand.
"You're Brotherhood aren't you?" he asked.
I didn't answer.
"Fucking answer me," he demanded. "You can make it easy and just tell me or we can do it the hard way."
"Yes," I finally admitted. "I am Brotherhood."
A look of panic came over his face. He began pacing back and forth rubbing his beard. Then he goes over to the mainframe and pops in holotape and turns on the monitor.
"Who is this," he says looking at still screen of a little boy.
"That is Bash, my son." I say. Tears fill up in my eyes.
He fast forwards the tape a bit.
"And this man," he stops it on an image of Arthur.
"That is my husband," I said.
"What's his name?" He demanded.
I was afraid to answer. I was afraid to let him know who I was. I was afraid he was going to hurt me more if found out who I was.
"Answer me god damnit," he yelled unbuckling his belt.
"It's Arthur Maxson," I said out of fear of getting raped again. "I am Sentinel Alice Maxson, Brotherhood of Steel."
"God damnit," he yelled in a fit of rage. He started knocking stuff over and throwing things in the lab.
"Are you alright sir shall I clean this up?" Tinker came into the lab. Flieute started taking deep breaths to get back to level of control.
"Yes Tinker," he said. "I just have to think."
"Why didn't you tell me who you were when I acquired you," he demanded.
"I was afraid," I said.
"Afraid of what?"
"Afraid that you were going to use me as ransom," I said. "or as a tool to get something from them."
"I have no ambition to start a personal war with the Brotherhood of Steel," he said.
"What would you have done?" I asked. "Bring me back?"
"That is exactly what I would have done," he yelled. He stopped and thought a while. "That's what I am going to do now… bring you back."
He walked out of the room. I heard him rummaging through his stuff in the other room. A few minutes later he came back wearing his NCR gear carrying boots and sweatpants. He began doing my restraints.
"You think they are going to let you go?" I asked sarcastically. "No questions asked?"
He stopped and thought for a second, then continued undoing my restraints.
"You don't know the Brotherhood," I said. "They will interrogate the shit of you."
"I have no plans to be captured by them," he said in a calm voice.
"I know your name," I said. "and where live."
"What do you propose I do, kill you?" he asked sardonically.
"They will come after you," I said.
"They'll come after me either way," he said talking more to himself than to me. "No, I am going to have to start all over."
He handed me the clothes and told me to get dressed. The clothes and boots were way too big for me. He got a cloth belt and tied around my waste to keep my pants from falling down. He got some shoelaces and tied the tops of the boots tight around my calves. He then handed me an old leather raider jacket which was just as big as every other item of clothing I donned.
"Don't even think about running off," he said pulling the remote to my collar out of his pocket.
I followed him into the kitchen where he stuffed a few syringes into his backpack along with some canned food and some purified water. He then pulled me into the elevator and we road down to the lobby.
"Going on an adventure Flieute," The securitron asked.
"Yes, M7, "Flieute, said to him. "Initiate destruct sequence omega man."
"Are you positive sir," M7 asked.
"Yes I am positive." Flieute replied. "Set timer for 30 minutes."
"Self-destruct timer set for 30 minutes," M7 said.
We walked out of the front door lobby towards the Potomac river.
Dense trees lined the Potomac, it was snowing, and the sun was setting across the river. When the last light of sunlight disappeared making the cloudy sky black, the hotel that we were in exploded. We turned and watched the bright blaze fill up the eastern sky above the trees.
"Let's keep moving," he pulled me. "That's gonna attract a lot of attention."
We walked in the cold dark night, and I began to feel the effects of withdraw from the chems. I felt woozy.
"I need to rest," I said. "I don't feel so good."
"No time to rest," he replied. "And these woods are filled with yaoguai."
"Just a few minutes," I said squatting, my butt was hovering a little bit above the ground to avoid getting wet.
"Keep moving," he pulled me up by my arms.
We walked along the river for 4 hours until we hit a broken concrete road. A few blocks down the road there was a Brotherhood check point. The flag was flapping in the snow filled breeze.
As we approached one of the initiates at the checkpoint told us to stop and identify ourselves.
"I'm returning something of yours," Flieute said.
"You're NCR," the Initiate approached us. "What is it you are returning?"
"Sentinel Alice Maxson," Flieute replied pushing me toward the initiate.
"Sentinel Maxon is dead," the initiate replied looking at me. "She is just a chemmed up slave."
"Look at her pipboy," he raised my left arm up to show the initiate the screen.
The initiate glanced at my pipboy then told us to stay put while he checked with his superiors.
He walked back past the barricade.
"This is where I get off," Flieute took a syringe out of his backpack and thrusted it into my neck. I felt dizzy and fell to ground watching him disappear into the darkness of night.

I woke up in cot inside of tent. My hands were once again handcuffed together, this time in front of me.
A Brotherhood Paladin in full power armor stood above me.
"You look like shit," the voice from inside the helmet said. "but it's good to see you alive."
"Do I know you?" I asked.
The paladin pulled his helmet off revealing his face. It was Paladin Danse.
"Danse," I exclaimed. "No, I'm hallucinating."
"I'm as real as it gets," he said.
I wanted to hug him. I tried to sit up, but I was too weak.
"Easy there, soldier." He said. "You're still pretty intoxicated. Just stay put until the vertibird gets here."
Danse walked outside of the tent.
"Any word on that transport," I heard Danse ask outside of the tent.
"The storm is getting worse," Another Brother said. "They said they aren't coming until it passes."
"Radio headquarters and send confirmation that this truly is Alice Maxson," Danse ordered. "Don't let her leave that tent. And make sure she stays in those handcuffs. She might be a sentinel; but she is a chem addict at the moment."
"Understood sir," the man said. "Ad Victoriam."
Ad Victoriam. Those words sounded like music in my ears. I was finally safe. I was finally home.

I heard the vertibird hovering above the tent and listened to the whirling blades decent towards the ground. The cloth tent walls flapped faster. Danse pushed the walls aside revealing bright daylight.
"You ready to go home," he asked me pulling me up out of the cot.
"Hell yeah," I said.
Danse smiled at me and walked me slowly toward the craft. The other soldiers at the outpost stood at attention as we boarded.
As we took off into the air I saw the monuments of DC in the snow-covered landscape. The broken Washington Memorial and crumbling Capitol Building almost brought tears to my eyes. The craft turned west revealing the river and Jefferson Memorial that was surrounded by pipes and a high barbed wire fence circled the structure. The craft hovered still above the Citadel for a few seconds then slowly decent into the bailey. When we touched down, the engines stopped, and the door opened.
Danse assists me off of the bird and we are greeted by an Elder.
"Maxson wants her in his office," he addresses Danse.
"Noted," Danse said walking me toward the building.
As we walked down the halls, conscripts and officers stopped and stood at attention as we walked by. I wasn't used to this type of attention. It made me feel uncomfortable.
When we got to Arthur's office Danse knocked and opened the door. Arthur was sitting at his desk. He looked up and smiled but it quickly turned to a look of disappointment.
"Well done, Paladin." He stood up. "I knew I could count on you Danse. Please take those cuffs off her."
"She is still on chems, sir." Danse said.
"I think I know how to handle my wife," Arthur replied.
Danse had me sit in the chair in front of Arthur's desk and he unlocked the cuffs.
Arthur motioned for Danse to leave. When the door closed he spoke again.
"Look at you," he said angrily. "You look like crap. Did you even try to escape, or do you enjoy being…high?"
"I was captured, Arthur." I replied. "And you didn't try to rescue me."
"I thought you were dead, Alice." He yelled. "We found Knight Chelsy torn apart by mirelurks. We thought you suffered the same fate."
"Well I didn't," I said back. "I was very much alive. Did you even try to look for me?"
"Of course I did," he said. "We found your broken power armor at the bottom of a water filled ravine. Damn it, Alice, I thought you were eaten by Mirelurks like Chelsy."
"Yeah, Chelsy," I swallowed hard, and I started to cry. "I tried to save her… but I couldn't hold on to her."
"What happened that day is not your fault," His voice changed to a calming and soothing tone. "I listened to that mission tape over and over again. You did everything by the book, from calling for backup, to trying to save the life of a fellow sister. You are considered a hero for your actions."
He pointed at a folded Brotherhood flag encased in a wood and glass case that sat on his desk. Next to it was a picture of Eric and me in the medical bay on the day he was born.
"Mom?" I heard a little boy's voice from behind me.
"Bash this is not the time," Arthur said.
I turned around saw Bash standing there.
"Mom," Bash yelled and ran toward me wrapping his arms around me. "You're alive."
I hugged him hard back, breathing him in. Tears poured down my cheeks. I opened my eyes and saw Arthur rub tears from his eyes.
Bashed pushed back and looked at me. He touched my hair.
"Eric looks just like you," he said smiling.
"Where is Eric?" I asked.
"He's with Proctor Ingram," Arthur said clearing his throat. "She was keeping an eye on them."
The door opens again. Proctor Ingram was carrying Eric.
"Holy shit," she says walked quickly toward Arthur and hands Eric to him. "You really are alive."
She hugs me tight.
I look at Eric in Arthur's arms. He has gotten big and fat.
"Adah," he says grabbing Arthur's beard. "Dah dah dah dah dah."
Arthur smiles and kisses him on the head.
"Look, Eric," Bash says. "It's mommy."
Eric turns and looks at me.
"Amah…amah", he leans in my direction and reaches his arms out.
I stand up and take him from Arthur's arms.
"Amah amah amah," he starts tugging on my hair.
"How does he remember me?" I asked. "He is so young."
"I show him pictures of you every day," Bash says. "Even though Susanne doesn't like it."
"Susanne?" I asked.
"Yeah, she comes over and helps dad out sometimes." Bash said. "I don't like her. Neither does Eric."
"Umm… Bash," Ingram interrupts and takes Eric from my arms. "Come one, let's give mom and dad some time to talk."
"Okay," Bash says reluctantly, hugging me once more. "See you tonight mom?"
"Bash," Arthur says. "Mom needs to go to hospital for a few days. She is sick."
"Sick?" He asked. "Is she constagi.. constagious?"
"Contagious," Arthur corrected. "No, it's not that kind of sickness."
"Get better quick," Bash hugs me tight then walks out the door with Ingram. "I am so happy you are home."
"Which brings me to the next matter," Arthur says. "You do know you're an addict, right?"
"Yes," I said. "Not by choice though."
"I only hope you want to kick the habit," he said.
"I do," I said. "I don't like being this way. He forced those chems on me."
"Who forced the chems on you," he asked.
"Flieute," I said. "The NCR man."
"A NCR soldier forced chems on you?" Arthur sounded sarcastic. "Cade said you might say something like this."
"Arthur," I pleaded, pointing at my collar. "I was a slave, chems are used to control us."
"Yeah, about that collar," he said. He went into a draw of his desk and pulled out a pair of tinsnips and walked toward me.
"What are you doing," I tried to push his hands away. "You're going to set it off."
"Nonsense," he said pushing my hands down. He started cutting the collar. "This is just a prison collar, not a biometric one."
A loud metal click sounded and it made me flinch. The collar fell to the floor. I kicked it away and rubbed the part of my neck where the collar was.
"You see," he said. His face was close to mine. I wanted to kiss him. Instead, I threw my arms around him and hugged him tight. He hugged me back, but pulled away.
"Susanne," I said to him. "Who is Susanne?"
"She is no one," He said turning away. "Just a knight who comes over to help out with the kids every now and then."
"She just helps with the kids?" I said with doubt.
"A man has needs, Alice." He said angrily. "And you weren't there."
"I see," I said. "Do you love her?"
"She was just someone to fulfill my needs," he said. He came back towards me and pulled me close to him. His arms wrapped around my arms and body, my cheek and ear pressed up against his chest and I heard his heartbeat. "I love you, Alice. No one else but you."
I wanted to stay there forever, a small knock was heard on the door.
"Come in," he said as his pulled from the embrace once again wiping a tear from his cheek.
A knight walked in carrying a piece of paper. She had blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. She was young looking. In her lower 20's. She looked plain and common, someone who you wouldn't notice in a crowd.
She gave me a distained look. And handed the paper to Arthur.
"What is this," he asked.
"A request of transfer," she said.
"Susanne, you don't have to do this," Arthur said with a gentle voice.
"Yes I do," Susanne swallowed hard glancing over at me. She didn't wait until she was dismissed, she just turned and walked out of the office.
"That was.." I struggled to think of something to say.
"Timing." Arthur completed my sentence.
"I was going to say awkward, but timing could fit."
I started to feel queasy and sick again. I needed to sit down. I walked toward the couch.
"You okay," Arthur looked concerned.
"No," I said honestly and started to shake. I wanted a shot of poison in my arm.
"I'll get Cade up here," Arthur went to his computer and began typing. He looked up from it a few minutes later.
I sat hunched over with my head in my hands on the couch. My head ached. I tried rubbing my scalp to ease the pain.
"He'll be up in a few minutes," Arthur said. He came over and sat down next to me and rubbed my back. "You'll be okay."

Cade entered the office without knocking. He saw Arthur and me sitting on the couch. Slung over his shoulder was a small bad. He reached into it and pulled out a syringe.
"This is Addictol," he said forcing the needle into my arm. "You'll still feel horrible, but you won't have the cravings."
The feeling horrible part makes me crave the drug, I thought.
"So," he looked at Arthur. "Did she agree to come voluntarily or is this going to be forced matter."
"I'll come voluntarily," I said to Cade. "I hate feeling like this."
"Good," Cade said. "I'm glad you hate feeling the way you do."
He went into his medical bag again and pulled out an orange mechanic suit and handed it to me.
"Change into this," he stood there, waiting for me to change.
"Now," I asked. "In front of you?"
"Yes now," he said. "And in front of me. Take everything off, including your socks and undergarments. You will not be bringing anything into treatment except for yourself and that jumpsuit."
I looked at Arthur hoping he would protest, but he didn't.
I got undressed taking everything off. Before I got dressed again Cade asked me to turn around then to sit on the couch and show the bottoms of my feet.
I turned around.
"Who gave you those bruises," Arthur asked compassionately.
"The same person who gave me the chems," I replied to him.
"The NCR man," he asked.
"Yes the NCR man," I replied.
"I'll give her a full medical examination when she is in treatment," Cade said. "I'll test for any disease, mutations, or deformities."
Hi. I'm right here doctor you can talk to me, I thought.
After I buttoned the jumpsuit Arthur got up to hug me once more.
"I'll see you soon," He said.