Chapter 25 – In Vino Veritas
The wedding reception had ended a little while ago but no one in the group of three friends had been all that eager to go their separate ways. It had been quite a while since they'd spent any amount of time together after all. Ryouji Kaji was relishing it in all honesty. Tough he'd missed the ceremony, the wedding had been a nice reprieve from his dealings as a government spook. At least his trip to Kyoto had netted him a few souvenirs, one of which he'd gotten because Ritsuko would appreciate it. Perhaps when he gave it to her it might also have the bonus of making Misato jealous...
Presently the three of them were sitting at a bar on the outskirts of Tokyo 3 enjoying some fine cocktails and living it up. He set his drink on the bar top and smiled. It was kinda nice that Misato had been acting less hostile since they'd started drinking. Perhaps he should make a point to go out with the two of them more often if the chance were to arise.
"I know it's getting late, but I need to go powder my nose," Misato stated, looking over at him with a surprisingly cheerful smile before getting up from the bar.
Kaji's eyes followed her, his happy grin turning into a playful smirk. "Making a quick exit, huh?" he teased with a wink.
Misato turned around and stuck her tongue out in a childish manner before continuing on her way to the washroom. Well... it would seem that despite her being a bit more friendly toward him there was still a bit of hostility remaining, even if it was expressed via a playful gesture. He watched as she walked away and his eyes drifted to her shoes. "High heels..." he murmured aloud, maintaining his grin. He'd never known her to wear heels before, not when they were dating in college at least. It was testament to the fact that despite how similar she was to when he'd known her she certainly had changed a bit...
He turned his attention to Ritsuko. "It's been too long since we've all been out together," he stated warmly.
Ritsuko grinned back at him. "She's drinking too much," she replied. "She's losing her control."
Well if there was anyone in their group that was prone to that type of behavior it was certainly Misato. Still, it wasn't all that bad. Sometimes getting properly plastered was the only good release, to keep yourself in the moment. "Sometimes you just have to drink to keep yourself under control," he replied, raising his glass nearly to his lips. "All of us do..." he added before taking a sip.
"Well the two of you did live together for a while," Ritsuko returned. "So I guess you'd know the truth."
Kaji set his drink on the bar top and rested his chin on the back of his hand. Such melancholy feelings that those memories now evoked. It had been such a simple time. For a while they'd been happy but that happiness he supposed was ultimately a lie, just like so many things in life... "That was a lifetime ago, a passing phase," he replied. "She didn't even own a set of heels back then."
"We didn't see it like that back we were in school though," Ritsuko said with a smile.
Kaji knew that she'd picked up on him reminiscing by that response. If this discussion kept going as it was it honestly threatened to put him in a genuinely melancholy mood. "We were just children playing house," he replied, glancing at the faux blonde out of the corner of his eye. "It wasn't real. We were just children playing house but life isn't that simple now is it?"
Ritsuko seemed to effected by his words considering the expression that washed over her momentarily. "You may be right..." she returned softly.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out the trinket, a cat charm, that he'd gotten for her on his latest mission enclosed in its accompanying decorative bag. "By the way, I almost forgot. A cat dragged this in," he stated, sliding his gift across the table to her.
Ritsuko laid her hand on the small cloth bag and smiled knowingly. "Thanks Kaji, for being honest," she replied.
"To the ladies, yes," he replied, shifting his demeanor back towards the lecherous buffoon she so often played at being. "Otherwise..."
"I doubt that," Ritsuko countered. It was honestly a bit amusing how she could see through the facades he put up and the masks he wore. That hadn't changed from their school days either... "So... what do you plan to do about Misato?" she followed up coyly.
He chuckled softly. "I've lost that war before. Lost causes aren't usually my style," he stated. The first part was an obvious truth, the latter? Well... he wasn't being completely honest.
Ritsuko eyed the charm he'd gotten her with a sly grin. "I think you still have a chance," she replied.
Kaji sighed. "Enough about me, what about you?" he countered, trying to move the topic of conversation. "How are things in your world these days?"
"I don't like to talk about myself," Ritsuko replied. "There's not much to say."
Kaji frowned. She'd always been like that. He pivoted around in his seat and glanced over his shoulder. Misato had been gone a while by now... "Wonder what's taking her so long?" he asked, not really expecting an answer. "How much makeup could she possibly wear?"
"What were you doing in Kyoto?" Ritsuko inquired nonchalantly, still eyeballing the charm in her hand.
So... that was how it was. He'd had his suspicions that she knew about his moonlighting considering how she'd behaved the last time he'd visited her office and this just about confirmed it. Hopefully he could at least count on her not to hinder him in his ventures... "I wasn't in Kyoto," he lied.
"Don't try to fool me," Ritsuko replied with a sidelong glance in his direction. "If you get your hands too deep into things you'll just get burned. That's my advice as your friend."
Kaji took a moment to sip his drink and contemplated her words. Well... at least she wasn't going to try and hinder his quest to uncover the truth. Still... at some point he'd have to reveal to Misato exactly what he was up to. That prospect was honestly almost as worrisome as catching a bullet one day. Hopefully he would have the chance to do so before she found out from someone else, especially from Ritsuko. No doubt regardless of how she came upon the knowledge she would no doubt be hurt... "I'd rather be burned by the heat of my passion for you," he teased with a playful leer in the faux blonde's direction.
"Well, should I buy you some fireworks so you can blow your fingers off with em?" a familiar voice grumbled from behind him.
He turned around in his seat to see Misato approaching the bar. "Oh, hello," he greeted cheerily.
Misato sat down beside him. "You never change, do you?" she huffed.
Even though her words sounded hostile, there was a hint of a grin on her face. Regardless of what was causing her to smile he'd take it. He'd missed seeing her smile... "Of course I change," he replied, his own smile becoming a bit more genuine. "The act of living is embracing change, no?"
Ritsuko placed her purse on the bar top and slipped the charm he'd given her inside it. "Homeostasis and transistasis..." she mused.
Misato turned to her. "Homeowhatsis?" she murmured, confused. Kaji raised an eyebrow. He also found himself a bit puzzled by their friend's words.
"The first as a force for maintaining the present status and the second is a force for constant change," Ritsuko stated. "This duality is the basis upon which every person exists. In fact, it's the conflict that fuels all life on earth."
It a very true statement and Kaji also understood the subtext that those words carried. His and Misato's relationship was very much fueled by that conflict... just like everyone's relationships with everyone. "Like men and women..." he mused.
Ritusko stood up from the bar. "I'll be taking off now," she said as she began her exit. "I've got some work at the office that I need to attend to."
Misato flinched. "B- but..." she stammered.
Ritsuko snickered. "Have fun..." she bade them in a sing-song tone accompanied by a playful wave as she strode away.
Kaji watched as Misato slowly sat back down at the bar and scowled at the drink in front of her. He was kind of surprised she hadn't found an excuse to take off as well. Maybe, just maybe Ritsuko had a point. Maybe he still did have a chance... "Well..." he spoke softly. "It's not too bad, hanging out with just me, is it? We were having a good time the three of us, why can't the two of us continue that? "
Misato sighed. "I guess so..." she murmured. "You were pretty well behaved at the wedding."
Kaji smiled. "I tried at least," he replied. "So... think you'll stick around for a few more drinks?"
Misato looked pensive for a moment before giving him a lopsided smile. "Yeah, sure..." she returned. "Why not?"
Kaji chuckled and raised his drink. "That's the spirit!" he declared.
Misato rolled her eyes and lifted her own before slamming it back. She sighed and reached into her purse and pulling out her cell phone. "I just gotta let the kids know I'll be out late," she stated.
Kaji's smile widened. "Look at you being the responsible one now..." he mused.
Misato glared at him. "Don't make me regret this..." she hissed before bringing the phone to her ear.
Asuka was honestly starting to get a little worried that Shinji hadn't come home yet despite not wanting to be. She'd received the pizza delivery over an hour ago and he still wasn't back. By now what was left had completely gotten cold. Oh well, his loss... If she bothered to ponder why he wasn't home yet then she'd just get worried about him and these stupid feelings she didn't want to have for him would be intensified. Whenever she was alone it seemed like all the uncomfortable things in her heart and mind took precedent. To distract from this, she'd decided to indulge in watching television to tune out the world. At least late night TV was entertaining. The only shit on during the day were stupid game shows and romance dramas, neither of which she was in any mood for.
Suddenly the landline in the kitchen began to ring. At first she thought about just letting it go to the answering machine but it wasn't often that anyone called so it was probably important. Besides, she was bored as hell so might as well go and answer it. She got up, entered the kitchen, and put the receiver to her ear. "Katsuragi residence," she greeted.
"Hey Asuka, it's me," Misato's voice issued from the speaker against her ear.
"Hey Misato, what's up?" Asuka replied.
"I'm gonna be out drinking with Kaji for a while," her guardian replied. "Just wanted to let you and Shinji know I might be back a little later than I initially thought."
Asuka's stomach did a flip and it felt like a sliver of ice was driven into her chest. Her lip curled up into a snarl as those words sank in. "Okay, I guess I'll see you when I see you," she replied, trying her best not to sound angry despite how much what she'd just heard pissed her off.
"Right," Misato returned. "You and Shinji have a good night. Make sure to get to bed on time."
"Sure," she replied, barely keeping control over her voice.
"Okay then, see you soon," Misato said cheerfully.
"Yeah, see you soon," Asuka replied, before hanging up. She stared at the phone and clenched her fists at her side. "That just means you won't be home at all tonight..."
This was just great, the icing on top of an already shitty day. Of course Misato and Kaji were spending time together... and the jealousy she felt from that made her sick. No one cared about her, no one ever wanted to give her attention... no! She shouldn't feel this way! She wouldn't let herself feel this way! She should be above petty stupid feelings like that. She didn't need anyone, not Kaji, not Misato, not Rei, and especially not Shinji...
Just then she heard the door to the apartment snap open, shaking her from her inner conflict and back to the reality of the present.
After leaving the cemetery he'd taken the train back to Tokyo 3 out of instinct and from then to now it had been nothing but a blur. He'd wandered around the city aimlessly all the while stewing in his thoughts, his anger, his hurt, his sadness, for hours... The temptation to just hop on a train and leave had been there but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Despite how upset he was he couldn't help but think about what everyone in his life would think. His father would think him even more pathetic than he already probably did. Asuka would see him as a coward too. Misato would be disappointed in him most definitely. And Rei? Well... he knew that she would be hurt if he were to just disappear like he so very much wanted to...
Despite knowing he couldn't run away he didn't want to... deal with anyone as he'd wandered the streets without aim. Rei had called him and he'd just let his phone ring and ring until eventually the call had been dropped. After that he'd turned his phone off and taken out the battery just to make sure no one could disturb him. He'd been tempted to answer the call and vent to her about what had happened between him and his father but... he'd known he would have been nothing but a pathetic blubbering mess and that was the last thing he wanted Rei do have to deal with. So he just walked the streets until long after the sun had gone down listening to his stupid cassette player, trying not to collapse in a ball of rage and sadness until eventually his wanderings had brought him back to the damned apartment he'd called home for some odd months...
He'd hesitated at the threshold, unsure if he really wanted to enter. Inside was a return to everything that had been forced upon him since his father had summoned him and conscripted him into NERV. He was so very conflicted in that moment... On the one hand it represented all the ugliness of his reality and on the other... it was comforting. Before he'd come to Tokyo 3 and met Misato, Asuka, and Rei he'd been completely alone and he didn't want to be alone again. Deep down, that was the ugly truth of things. He just... didn't want to be alone anymore. So... after a moment of hesitation he'd finally keyed the door to the apartment and stepped inside.
He kicked off his shoes and made his way down the hallway until he reached the kitchen, stopping in surprise when he laid eyes on Asuka who was standing beside the kitchen table. "Hey," she spoke, glaring at him. "What the hell took you so long in getting home?"
He scowled and glared back. He wasn't in the mood to deal with... anything really. "What does it matter," he grumbled, turning away from her.
"Well excuse me fore being worried about you, you dingus!" Asuka hissed in response.
Shinji's eyes widened. "Why worry about me?" he asked, returning his gaze to the fiery redhead.
"Because you were out so late, stupid," she retorted, crossing her arms with a scowl. "You look like shit by the way."
Shinji frowned and once again turned his gaze away, looking down at the floor. "I've had a rough day..." he grumbled under his breath.
There was a long pause before Asuka spoke again. "I ordered pizza," she said. "There's about half of it left in case you're hungry."
Shinji hadn't really paid attention to any sense of hunger but with the proposition of food before him his stomach instantly gave heed to the offer with an audible growl. He looked up at the kitchen table and noticed the pizza box that sat upon it. "Thanks..." he muttered as he moved over to the box and grabbed a slice. It was cold but it was something...
"You're welcome," Asuka grumbled.
Another silence fell between the two of them and Shinji would have been perfectly fine with it continuing but Asuka once again spoke up. "So what's going on?" she asked, her tone sounding a bit less accusatory and harsh.
Shinji swallowed his bite of pizza and regarded her with a frown. "I've had a rough day..." he replied.
Asuka rolled her eyes. "Well that's pretty obvious," she returned, sounding a little bit sympathetic to his mood. "Come on, what happened? Whatever it is it's clearly eating you up. Just spit it out."
Shinji tensed up. Even thinking about what had happened at the cemetery upset him. How could he put it without having to explain just how painful it really had been. Besides, Asuka would probably judge him if he really went into detail... "Things didn't go how I wanted them to with my father today..." he muttered after a long pause. "It was a waste of time..."
Asuka's features continued to soften. After yet another pause she heaved a heavy sigh. "Yeah, my day didn't go very well either," she replied. "I had a date with a friend of Hikari's sister and he turned out to be a waste of time too."
Shinji grimaced and stared at the floor again. How could she compare that to what he was going through? Before he could stop himself he spoke his mind. "At least you didn't have your father flat out tell you he abandoned you for your own good..." he spat bitterly.
Asuka stiffened and he could have sworn he heard her gasp. "Ouch..." she replied softly. "That's messed up..."
He looked back up at her, balling his fists as the anger he'd felt at the cemetery flared up. "I know, right?" he huffed angrily. "What kind of parent would do such a thing?"
Asuka seemed to look past him, staring through him and not at him before turning her head away. "Honestly, my upbringing wasn't the greatest either," she eventually returned, her voice almost a whisper. "But there's nothing we can do about that shit. We just gotta keep going I guess..."
Shinji's lips parted and his eyes widened. He was just a bit reminded of the last thing his father had said before he'd stormed off... He grit his teeth and glared at her. "You say it like it's easy..." he hissed.
"It's not," Asuka replied, glaring back at him. "But it's the hand we've been dealt. We gotta live with it."
That was undeniably the truth, as bitter and ugly as it was... He closed his eyes and bowed his head. "If only it was that easy..." he replied barely above a whisper.
"Well... it isn't..." Asuka returned in an equally somber and quiet voice.
Shinji couldn't help but wonder exactly what it was that Asuka had meant when she'd said that her situation wasn't the best. For all he'd known up until she'd mentioned that aspect of her life he'd simply thought of her as... well he'd not given much thought to her life before he'd known her. He couldn't help but wonder just how it was that she'd come to pilot an Evangelion and what her life had been like before that. Perhaps it was something similar to his or Rei's... "What were your parents like?" he asked after a long silence.
He watched as Asuka's expression took on a look of mild shock before she folded her arms in front of her and bowed her head, hiding her eyes with her bangs. "Why do you care?" she growled defensively.
He frowned. Because they were friends? Was that good enough? It hurt that she would think he wouldn't have some kind of compassion or empathy for her... "I mean... we're friends, right?" he said, fumbling with his words a bit. "Maybe... we can get some perspective or something from one another? I don't know, you brought it up..."
Asuka glared at him and he thought about just apologizing and dropping the subject but before he could do that Asuka stalked over to the refrigerator and wrenched the door open. He watched she grabbed two of Misato's cans of Yebisu beer and regarded him with a frustrated expression. "Misato's out getting wasted with Kaji so she probably won't be home tonight," she said, holding out one of the beers. "Here, you want one of these?"
Shinji blinked in surprise. He certainly wasn't expecting this. "The legal drinking age is twenty..." he murmured in confusion.
Asuka rolled her eyes. "And it's sixteen in Germany and twenty one in the United States, who gives a shit!" she bit out. "We're fighting a war for the future of humanity and we can't even have something to take the edge off!? Misato's out drinking right now so why can't I? Besides, it might make you feel better about your shitty day."
Shinji bit his lip. Regardless of how crummy his day was this didn't seem like the greatest idea... "Aren't you always talking about how Misato drinks too much?" he countered meekly.
Asuka looked at him with an expression that displayed pure unfiltered annoyance. "Yeah, because she drinks like, what, a six pack every single day?" she huffed. "Having a few once in a while isn't the same as being a drunken slob!"
She wasn't completely off the mark in her assessment... Shinji found himself contemplating her proposition. It didn't seem like too bad an idea, what was the worst that could happen? Then again, if Misato ever found out then they would probably never hear the end of it... "Don't think she'll notice some of the beer is missing?" he asked.
"She goes through this stuff so quick I doubt she will," Asuka replied, shutting the refrigerator door and holding out one of the cans for him. "And if she does well then so what, we're just doing as she does, right? Can't blame me for her setting a bad example."
Once more the fiery redhead had a very valid point... Screw it... he had in all honesty had a really shitty day that he'd rather forget about... Slowly he reached out and took the can she was offering him. "Why not..." he sighed. "I'll join you then..."
Asuka cracked open her can and took a sip followed by a grimace after she swallowed. "See, that wasn't so hard," she grumbled. "Sometimes you just gotta break the rules."
Shinji opened the can in his hand and took a sip. It tasted bitter... he wasn't sure he liked the taste. The feeling in his stomach was kinda pleasant though... "So... what now?" he asked.
Asuka shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, we talk and watch TV or something?" she suggested, taking another sip of the pilfered beer.
That didn't sound like too bad of an idea. "Sure," he replied.
"Let's just try not to talk about our parents alright?" Asuka said softly with a lopsided grin. "That's just gonna bring me down and I want to have a bit of fun after how shitty my date was."
Even though the curiosity was still there it was probably for the best. Reliving the pain of abandonment once today already had been enough for him. Might as well just shove it back down like he usually did... "Sounds good," he replied with a nod.
Asuka turned and exited the kitchen for the living room and Shinji followed after her.
Even in her woozy state Misato was cogent enough to understand that she had made an ass of herself. She'd drank far too much and now she'd payed the price for it having thrown up in an alleyway as soon as she and Kaji had disembarked the train in the town center. She felt ashamed of herself for having done that. Getting belligerently drunk wasn't something a grown adult should be doing, especially one with her responsibilities and status. Worse than that though was that after vomiting profusely she'd been in such a state that she couldn't even walk straight. Kaji had offered to carry her on his back which she'd reluctantly accepted. Though it definitely wasn't an ideal situation... it was nice of him to do that. Being that close to him, her head resting on his shoulder made her feel... well, it made her feel a whole bunch of things that she wasn't sure she was comfortable with.
"Drinking until you throw up," Kaji chastised. "How old are you?"
"Old enough to regret it..." she groaned in reply. She felt so embarrassed. Kaji of all people to be commenting on her behavior like this was literally the worst...
Kaji's chuckled quietly. Why was he so warm to the touch even through his jacket? "I'm old enough as well," he returned, his tone softening considerably.
She couldn't help but snicker too. They had behaved like a pair of university aged idiots back at the bar toward the end of their time there. At least she was starting to sober up a bit... she hoped. "You're damn right," she mumbled into his shoulder.
"I can't believe you wear high heels these days," Kaji mused. "Time really does fly, doesn't it?"
She didn't want to think about how much time had passed. She didn't want to think about anything except getting home and getting to sleep and how much she hated that she loved being carried by him... Every step he took the stubble on his chin tickled her wrists. She hated to think about what that would feel like tickling her neck instead... "You need to shave your scruffy face..." she murmured, ignoring his statement.
Kaji laughed. "Maybe you're right," he replied. "But you didn't mind it back then if I do recall."
He was right, she did like it back then. She still liked it. She was disgusted with herself that she still liked it... His back was jostling against her in all the worst ways too... She tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, put me down," she grumbled. "Let me try and walk."
"Are you sure?" Kaji asked, sounding a bit concerned.
Damn right she was sure. "Yeah, put me down," she huffed.
"Alright..." Kaji replied and loosened his grip on her legs.
She slid off of his back and braced herself against him as she regained her footing. Her heels would be a detriment to walking in her condition so she slipped them off, using him to remain upright as she did so. "Thanks..." she murmured, unwilling to look him in his stupid face...
"No worries," he replied. "Just know I'll carry you if you need me to."
Her heart skipped a beat or two. Damn booze, making her feel this way... "I'm fine, don't be so concerned," she grumbled.
Kaji chuckled wryly. "If you say so," he returned.
She fell in step beside him and neither of them spoke for a while, continuing their walk in silence. She found herself ruminating of Kaji's words about her wearing heels. Back in university she'd have detested the very idea of wearing formal clothing and now she was a high ranking officer in a paramilitary organization... "Kaji... do you think I've changed?" she asked.
"You're more beautiful than ever," Kaji replied.
Misato couldn't help but smile at his assessment even if it was objectively a lie... "You know what I mean," she returned with a hint of laughter. She thought back to their days in college and how their relationship had ended... Before she could stop herself she let it all out. It was probably the liquor's doing but at this point she didn't care... "You know... when I said there was someone else... I was lying, but... you knew that, didn't you?"
"No," he replied softly, tenderly. "I didn't."
Walking next to him while under the influence of good booze, she was realizing how caring and understanding he really was. It made her feel almost... comfortable confessing all of the things she'd kept inside for so long. Before she could stop herself everything that she'd kept so guarded for years came spilling out... damn alcohol. "One morning I woke up and realized just how much like my father you were..." she replied, starting to ramble. "I panicked... I couldn't believe that I wanted I wanted a man just like my father. I was terrified. I was terrified... so I ran. I was so scared... afraid of becoming a woman... afraid of being with you... afraid of the person I thought I was becoming..."
"Misato, you don't have to explain what you've been though..." Kaji murmured.
She couldn't stop herself. She'd already started rambling, might as well see it through to the end, wherever that might lead. It was liberating, being honest for once... "I thought I hated my father..." she murmured. "But then I fell in love with a man who was just like my father..."
Kaji said nothing and Misato didn't dare look at him. She didn't want to face the judgmental stare that she assumed he had for her... "I thought that joining NERV would be a way to sever my ties to him but then it turned out that he was a part of NERV as well..." she replied, her hurt, turmoil, and sorrow beginning to overwhelm her. All of her lies were beginning to collapse. The truth was beginning to pour out of her... "So I tried to bury all of my feelings by avenging my father by killing the Angels."
She stopped walking as she started to shake under the weight of the truth that she was revealing... Kaji pivoted around and faced her. "You chose that path and you don't have to apologize to anyone," he admonished. "You did what you had to."
Her vision was starting to get blurry and this time not from being drunk. She shook her head. "Don't bullshit me, Kaji!" she scoffed. The tears in her eyes threatened to fall and so she hid her eyes with her hand. "It got too hard for me and I ran away from everything! It was just an escape from the real world and my feelings! I'm no better than Shinji was when I first took him in. I'm a coward..." There it was... the truth was out in the open, finally...
She pulled her hand away and met Kaji's gaze. There was understanding in those wonderful brown eyes of his. She felt so guilty for hurting him... The tears began to fall. "Just look at me now... I'd have never gotten the courage to say any of this to you, to tell you the truth if I didn't get myself so drunk!" she cried.
"That's enough," Kaji bit out, a deep frown forming on his face.
Misato couldn't stop herself. The dam had broken and the flood couldn't be stopped. "I'm a child..." she murmured. "I have no right to be taking care of Shinji and Asuka."
"Enough," Kaji tried to cut her off, stepping closer to her with a truly pained expression.
She couldn't stop, not now, and so she just kept on talking. She knew she was starting to ramble but she didn't care. What was being said couldn't go unsaid any longer. She needed to let it all out. "I can't even accept help up from a man unless I'm so goddamn drunk I don't know what I'm doing! I'm a horrible woman and I used you!" she yelped.
Kaji grabbed her by her upper arms, digging his fingers into the fabric of her jacket. "Cut it out!" he shouted.
She paid his words no heed. She's said too much to stop now. "I used you because I'm a coward and pathetic and I-"
She stiffened and her eyes washed wide in surprise as Kaji pulled her to him and kissed her. After all that she'd said this was what he chose to do... He still accepted her. He still... wanted her. She wanted to pull away from him. It had to be a lie, just another one of his lies but... deep down she knew it wasn't. Even after all that she'd put him through he still cared about her... Slowly, she brought her arms around him and kissed him back. She'd missed the feeling of his lips and his strong embrace...
Gently, Kaji pulled away after what felt like too short a time, still holding her tight by her jacket sleeves. "Have you calmed down a bit?" he asked.
She nodded and rested her head on his shoulder. The cologne he was wearing coupled with his natural scent was intoxicating... It almost made her forget about how her stomach was churning. "Yeah..." she murmured.
Kaji released his grip on her. "Okay... let's get you home then," he said.
She felt so queasy, both from the booze and his words. No... she didn't want to be alone in her room tonight... "You can stay over..." she whimpered as they began their walk. "If you want..."
Kaji laughed. "Maybe another night, Katsuragi," he replied with a smile.
She frowned and halted her walk. Her chest and stomach tightened up. That was not the answer she wanted to here. So what if she was drunk, she wanted him. That was all that mattered, a way to ease the discomfort she felt in her body and her soul.
Kaji turned to her. "Is something the matter?" he asked.
The feeling in her stomach wouldn't abate, rather it was only growing in intensity. She felt her mouth starting to water. This was it, she couldn't take it anymore... Before she could manage a reply, she doubled over where she stood and vomited violently.
"So he told you punch him in the face just because he felt guilty? And you actually did it!?" Asuka choked out between guffaws. "That's hilarious!"
"Yeah, it is kinda funny now isn't it..." Shinji replied with a loopy grin on his face. Having never had alcohol before he had to admit that there was something to it. After the first beer he'd been much more relaxed and calm, after the second he'd almost forgotten about how horrible his day had been, and after the third... well everything was a little bit humorous, he couldn't see quite straight, and he really couldn't be bothered to give much of a shit about anything but the conversation he was having with Asuka. She'd told him all about how boring her date was at the beginning of their talk but the conversation had segued to various other topics ranging from things at NERV, their previous battles, school, and now to their friends. Asuka had told him about how she and Hikari had first become friends and then he'd just finished telling her about how Touji had become friends via punches when he'd first come to Tokyo 3.
"Tell ya what, Shinji, I find it a bit hard to picture you throwing a punch," Asuka teased. "You're always so withdrawn and all."
Shinji chuckled. "It definitely felt weird to do it," he replied. "But what was I supposed to do? He asked for it..."
"I guess you got a point," she returned with a grin. "It's good to know you actually can stick up for yourself."
He scowled. Did she really think he was that much of a wimp? "That's not fair, I can," he retorted.
"Sorry, you're just so passive all the time!" Asuka stated, taking a drink of her fourth beer of the evening and swaying a bit where she sat next to him on the floor. "I don't think I've ever seen you get confrontational about anything."
Shinji's frown deepened. "I just don't like to rock the boat," he replied. "What's so bad about that?"
"Well if you do it too much then people will just walk all over you," Asuka remarked with a laugh. "That's definitely no way to live."
Shinji sighed and took another drink from the can in his hands. "I guess you have a point..." he muttered, turning his gaze to the television.
Asuka bumped him with her shoulder and giggled. "You know I'm right," she teased. "You're way too sullen all the time!"
He frowned. The conversation was going to a place he really didn't want it going but he couldn't stop himself. "It's hard not to be with all the crap I've been through," he grumbled. Somehow it felt kinda good to be honest, even if was the beers doing... "It's just... easier to go through the motions and not cause any problems. Trying to assert myself hasn't gotten me anywhere, like today with my father..."
"That's right, you met with him today didn't you," Asuka murmured, taking another sip of her beer. "What happened with that?"
"I thought we weren't going to talk about our parents..." he reminded, taking a big gulp from the can in his hand, feeling more and more of the drink's effects. If he kept it up he was really going to have trouble thinking clearly...
Asuka bumped him in the arm with her shoulder again, this time nearly knocking him over. "Come on, I wanna know!" she whined in a playful tone. "Just talk to me!"
It felt weird that she was getting so close to him and he would have preferred to be talking about what happened with Rei but... he just needed to vent. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was just the stress of the day but he just couldn't be silent about what happened. Besides, he knew that Asuka wouldn't let it go until he told her what went down, especially considering the state she was in. He heaved a sigh and sipped his can one more time before speaking. "Well... we visited my mother's grave," he murmured softly. "And we talked about stuff..."
Asuka let out a groan. "Well of course you talked about stuff!" she replied, sounding a little annoyed. "Anything could be considered stuff. What kind of stuff?"
He folded his arms across his chest and tucked his chin. "I don't know... stuff," he replied. "He asked me about what it's like living here, how school is going... just regular stuff."
"That doesn't sound too bad," Asuka commented. "What happened after that? Seems like things were going okay. How did it all go to shit?"
Shinji's frown deepened. He would much rather be talking about this with Rei. It was easier to talk to her about emotional things like this... but he'd already started talking. Might as well just... tell her the whole story. "To be honest... it kinda upset me that he was just so... casual," he replied. "For so long I've wanted him to just... take an interest in me but as soon as he did it just reminded me of how little he'd given a shit up until that point... He didn't even say he was sorry for abandoning me to be raised by a teacher..."
"That's pretty messed up," Asuka replied, swaying back and forth beside him. "Then what happened?"
He grit his teeth as the exchange played over again in his mind... "I asked him why he abandoned me all those years ago," he bit out, digging his fingers into the sleeves of his shirt. "And he told me it was for my own good. He said only infants need their parents and I'm no longer an infant..."
Asuka stopped rocking back and forth. "That's... awful..." she murmured after a long pause.
Shinji turned his head to look at her. Gone was her tipsy smirk and her cavalier bravado. She looked just as vulnerable as he felt. He honestly was a bit unsettled by how she looked. "Are you alright?" he asked.
Her smile returned and she laughed. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be? You just kinda caught me off guard, y'know?" she retorted. "Seriously though, what your dad said is way past fucked up, Shinji."
He frowned and looked back at the television. "Yeah... it really is isn't it..." he murmured.
Asuka flopped against him and he instantly stiffened up. Why was she leaning up against him? It felt... strange. "Hey, cheer up," she said. "It's not so bad, right? You got Misato and Rei and me, right? We give a shit about you."
His heart skipped a beat at having that fact spelled out for him. "Yeah... I guess you're right," he replied. Still... the pain of his father's words couldn't be ignored... "But it still sucks..."
Asuka leaned harder onto him and he lost his balance, falling backward onto the floor. He froze and she whipped around, pinning him underneath her. His eyes went wide. Why was her face so close to his? "We care about you, even if you are a sullen idiot," she said with a grin.
He smiled nervously. Why wasn't she getting off of him? "Th- thanks, I guess..." he stammered.
Asuka smirked. "Hey... y'know what might make you feel better?" she spoke in a silky tone.
"W- what?" he stuttered.
"Why don't you just kiss me?" Asuka proposed, her smirk widening.
Shinji felt his heart jumping to his throat. "Wh- wh- why would I do that?" he stammered.
"Come on!" Asuka replied, digging her fingers into the front of his shirt. "Even though you're a hopeless idiot you're kinda cute... What? Are you afraid?"
He grit his teeth. Why was she teasing him like this? Maybe it was the booze that prompted his response, maybe not, but he couldn't just take her comments without response. She herself seemed to want him to be more assertive... "I'm not afraid!" he spat.
Asuka stared down at him and reached up, placing her hand on his cheek, her expression taking on a decidedly sensual nature. "Then kiss me you idiot..." she murmured.
The fiery redhead began to lean in on him, her eyes sliding closed and her lips parting. He stared up at her as she got closer and closer. She was... beautiful, a radiant foreign beauty... why did he feel so resistant? He began closing his eyes. He wasn't going to let her keep thinking he was a coward... Their noses touched... Then, in his mind's eye, an image of Rei filled his mind, an image of her frowning, weeping... he turned his head away. "I... I can't..." he murmured softly. "Sorry..."
Asuka recoiled and sat up, releasing him from her grasp. "So... that's how it is then..." she murmured with a frown. "You're thinking about... her..."
Shinji stiffened. How did she know? "Wh- what do you mean?" he asked.
The fiery redhead glowered down at him. "Would you just be honest with yourself for once!?" she screamed, her eyes starting shimmer with tears. "The only reason why you wouldn't want to kiss me is because you're thinking about Rei, isn't it!"
He sat up nervously. It was true... "H- how do you know that?" he murmured.
Asuka frowned. "Why else would you push me away, huh?" she spat in accusation before crossing her arms and bowing her head. "Just admit it, dammit, you like Rei! Like as more than a friend like her..."
He looked away and crossed his arms. Rei was his best friend. He could trust her, talk to her about anything. She was always there for him, to lend an ear or a helping hand... She always understood him, treated him kindly, respected him... Her voice soothed him. He always felt warm when she enjoyed the bento he packed for her. He liked how she liked the way he made tea. The memory of how she'd looked at him after Operation Yashima came to mind... He liked the way she smiled... He loved the way she smiled...
He froze in place as the realization set in. Asuka was right... he was crushing on Rei. The realization was simultaneously enlightening, liberating, and terrifying all in one, mostly terrifying... He turned away from Asuka and frowned. "Maybe I do..." he muttered under his breath.
Asuka snarled at him as she stood to her feet and swayed drunkenly. "You're such a fucking pussy!" she hissed.
He stood up as well, also finding it hard to remain steady. He didn't mean to hurt her... fuck, the beer was really having an effect on him. "What did I do!?" he yelled in confusion.
"Just you being you!" she shouted. "You're so goddamn dense! What is wrong with you!?"
He was completely and totally confused. "What do you mean!?" he shouted in response.
Asuka opened her mouth to speak but whatever she was going to say never left her lips. The both of them tensed at the sound of the apartment's door opening with a mechanical whir. It could mean only one thing... Misato was finally home. Asuka ceased her aggression towards him and shambled into the kitchen. "Kaji!" she squealed, as if her outburst a second ago had never happened.
Kaji was here? Why was he here? Shinji began to panic. Hopefully he wouldn't notice that he and Asuka had gotten into Misato's beer... He entered the kitchen just as Kaji entered it from the hallway. He looked a bit disheveled but not nearly as much as Misato did. Misato's eyes were closed, she had her arm around him, and seemed like she wasn't even able to stand up properly. "Hey Asuka, I'm just helping Misato get home," the scruffy man said as Misato let out a groan. "She had a bit too much to drink."
Shinji watched as Kaji walked past him, trying his best to help Misato into her room. Asuka latched onto his other arm. "Hey, since you're here, why don't you hang around!" she cried, her stumbling nearly making him fall. "You can stay the night!"
"I couldn't do that," he said with a chuckle, pulling the door to Misato's room open. "If I show up to work looking like this in this then I wouldn't hear the end of it."
Shinji watched Asuka let Kaji go with a hurt expression before stomping her foot. "Fine! Everyone just ignore me then!" she huffed and ran toward her room, his eyes following her the entire dash. When she got there she slammed her door shut so loud in made him flinch. The evening had really taken a sharp left turn...
Shinji turned around again at the sound of Misato's bedroom door shutting. Kaji had presumably helped Misato get to bed and was now staring down at him with a bemused expression. "H- hey, Kaji-san," he stuttered, having no idea what else to say. "Did you guys have fun?"
Kaji's smile widened. "Yeah, we did. And from the looks of it so did you," he replied. "The two of you got into Katsuragi's beer, didn't you?"
He felt his stomach twist and he found himself swaying where he stood. The terror he felt about Misato finding out was overwhelming. "I- i- it wasn't my idea..." he stammered.
Kaji laughed playfully. "I won't tell anyone if you don't," the scruffy man said with a wink.
He nearly collapsed as a sense of relief washed over him. He stumbled a bit and braced himself against the nearest wall. "Thanks..." was all Shinji could respond with.
"So..." Kaji spoke, his grin never wavering. "What prompted you and Asuka to indulge yourselves, huh? I'll bet it's just as interesting as my evening."
He frowned. How could he even begin to explain everything that had happened. It all seemed so surreal... "We both had kind of rough days..." he replied.
"Well, it's understandable," Kaji replied. "People drink both to lose themselves and to find themselves. Did you find any perspective on the things that trouble you?"
Shinji looked down at his feet and crossed his arms. It was odd... he still felt angry and hurt and betrayed by his father. That hadn't changed, even if he'd been numb to it for a little while... Talking with Asuka had been a pleasant distraction up until she'd tried to kiss him and that has just opened up a terrifying reality, the fact that he... it was so hard to even acknowledge... He had feelings for Rei, his best friend, that extended beyond friendship... and he knew that he could never act on them. If he did he risked hurting her or getting hurt himself. The thought of that happening was awful. He could never let that happen... Besides, he didn't deserve to be... cared about like that in return. He was too... himself to ever have that. "I have... a lot to think about..." he replied softly.
Kaji's smile wavered for a moment and he nodded softly. "Understandable," he returned. "Matters of the heart are not easily resolved."
The truth of those words hit like a sledgehammer. They perfectly encapsulated everything he was going through in that moment. "Yeah..." he replied. "You're definitely right about that..."
Kaji adjusted his tie and let out another little laugh. "Well, Katsuragi is sleeping soundly, I'd best be off," he said as he turned to exit the room. "By the way, drink some water before you go to sleep tonight. You'll be glad for it in the morning. Later."
"Later..." Shinji murmured. Soon after he heard the front door open and shut signaling Kaji's departure, leaving him in utter and complete silence.
Shinji entered the kitchen and did as Kaji recommended after disposing of the evidence of his alcoholic escapade and drank a tall glass of water. In the morning Rei would greet him at the door before school like she always did. He grimaced at the thought. She was probably worried because he hadn't picked up when she called. He felt no small amount of guilt over that... At least he could talk to her about what happened at the cemetery but everything else that had happened from then to now he was determined to keep under lock and key forever...
He didn't know how long he stood there in the still and quiet of the apartment, alone and stewing in all the conflicted thoughts he was brooding over...
Asuka awoke in her room with a throbbing headache. Despite how out of it she'd been by the end of the previous night she remembered what had happened well enough. She'd gotten plastered and tried to kiss Shinji only for him to reject her... As if that wasn't bad enough, Kaji had shown up dragging a totally inebriated Misato and then she'd made a complete ass out of herself. She groaned and covered her eyes, partly from the brightness of the sun coming in through her window but mostly from the shame she was feeling. How would she ever face Kaji again...
She grimaced. She'd been rejected by both Kaji and Shinji... and that really hurt. It hurt to finally have to come to terms with the fact that Kaji would never want her as a lover. She'd smelled Misato's lavender perfume on him when she'd grabbed him the previous night. It was obvious now where his affections really were... but somehow that wasn't as painful as Shinji pushing her away.
To make things even worse than they were she felt guilty for even trying to make a move on him. He liked Rei and obviously Rei liked him back. If Rei ever found out what she'd done then she'd probably never forgive her... If someone had did what she had to her she certainly wouldn't forgive them... Despite how weird the blue haired girl could be, she still valued her friendship. Despite her jealousy regarding it all she made a note to keep her mouth shut about it. Things would just work better that way...
Slowly she rose from the bed and got dressed before exiting her room. When she entered the kitchen she found Shinji sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in his hands looking half awake. He was already dressed and ready to go to school. "Morning..." she grumbled softly as she strode to the coffee pot to pour herself a cup.
"Hey..." he replied. "How are you feeling?"
"Like utter shit, thanks for asking," she huffed. "You?"
"Tired," he returned, taking a sip of his coffee. "I didn't sleep all that well."
Asuka frowned. "Yeah... I don't blame you..." she huffed as she grabbed a cup from the cabinet and poured some coffee into it from the pot on the counter. She gulped down a large swig before speaking again. "I think I had a bit too much beer to sleep very well..."
There was a long silence between the two of them before either of them spoke again. "Listen... about last night..." Shinji murmured.
"It doesn't matter," Asuka cut him off, glaring at him. "It is what it is..."
Shinji regarded her with a pained expression before gazing into his coffee cup. "Yeah... I guess so..." he muttered.
No more than a second after he'd said that the doorbell rang...
Rei stood at the entrance to the Katsuragi residence clutching the bow on the front of her school uniform and trying her best to shove down the anxious feelings she was experiencing. She hadn't gotten much sleep the previous night, not after her calls to Shinji's phone had gone unanswered. She'd been afraid that he'd ran away from home and to be honest she was still afraid of that possibility. Whatever had happened at the cemetery hadn't been good, that so much she knew. She could only hope that Shinji would be there, beyond the barrier of the apartment's door, to explain exactly what had happened the previous day...
She didn't have to wait long until the door opened. Her heart felt lighter and she found herself smiling softly upon seeing who'd opened the door. "Hello, Shinji..." she greeted softly, finding it just a bit difficult to speak. Knowing he hadn't run away threatened to overwhelm her with relief.
"Hey... Rei..." he murmured, not looking her in the eye. "How are you?"
She frowned. He'd worried her so much with how he'd dodged her calls... "I called you last evening," she stated flatly. "Why didn't you answer?"
He frowned and looked down at his feet. "I uh... I... Things didn't go well when I met up with my father yesterday," he eventually replied sheepishly. "Sorry I didn't pick up... I didn't really want to talk about it..."
She stepped closer to him. He looked obviously distressed. She didn't like seeing him in distress. "Please... talk to me about it," she murmured, into those cobalt blue eyes of his. "I want to help..."
Shinji met her gaze for a moment before looking away again. "It doesn't matter..." he huffed. "It was wrong of me to try and reconnect with him..."
Rei felt her stomach knotting up. His words confirmed her fears, her fear that he and Commander Ikari couldn't reconnect in a positive manner. This couldn't be happening. If their relationship couldn't be mended then it could spell doom for the future... "What happened?" she asked.
Shinji sighed and scowled down at the ground. "I asked him why he sent me away and he..." he trailed off and gritted his teeth. "It doesn't matter... He doesn't want me in his life..."
Rei's heart jumped to her throat. "What makes you assume that?" she asked worriedly.
"He told me as much..." Shinji hissed, balling his fists. "He told me that only... he said that only infants need their parents... Fuck him..."
She reached and grabbed at his hand. She hated seeing him so upset... "I'm sure that he... I'm sure he doesn't really feel that way..." she murmured.
Shinji pulled his hand away from hers. "It doesn't matter..." he muttered, crossing his arms. "I'll be fine... Don't... don't worry about me..."
Rei wanted to counter his argument but deep down she knew nothing she could say would help. Slowly she nodded. "Okay..." she murmured in reply, even though it hurt to say it.
Shinji's expression softened a bit. "Hey... it's fine, I'll be fine..." he replied, still sounding a bit conflicted. "Do you want to come in for a little while before we have to go to school? I have coffee made..."
Rei nodded. "Sure..." she replied softly.
She followed him inside the apartment as the gravity of all that he'd revealed to her set in. One way or another she had to find a way to salvage her original plan or think up a new one. Either way, she knew that time was running shorter and shorter. Soon enough she would be powerless to stop the schemes of Commander Ikari and SEELE if things stayed their course. That horrible reality was beginning to weigh heavy...
Misato sat on the command deck of NERV's operational command bridge, nursing a coffee and a splitting headache. Thought much of the night consisted of drunken teleportation there was one memory that was painfully coherent, that being what she'd said to Kaji during the walk from the train station until she'd thrown up a second time. Part of her wished she could never have said those things but a larger part of her was glad she'd finally said what she had. At the very least she'd finally been honest with him. That at least was consolation for how awkward and embarrassing the ordeal had been. She'd really had embarrassed herself by throwing up...
Footsteps sounded behind her and she turned to see Ritsuko stepping onto the bridge. "So... how did the night go after I left?" she asked.
Misato groaned and took a sip of her coffee. "Great..." she grumbled. "Just great..."
"I see..." Ritsuko replied with a cryptic look. "So... have you bumped into Kaji yet today?"
She scowled and glared back at her friend. "No, I haven't..." she grumbled. "I was hoping not to run into him today. Why, did you?"
Ritsuko shook her head. "No, I haven't," she replied with a stern expression. "But I think you might want to. He might not be quite everything he makes himself out to be, if you know what I mean..."
Misato stiffened at her friend's words. "What do you mean?" she asked.
Ritsuko chuckled. "Ask him why don't you?" she replied, turning around and leaving the bridge. "I gotta get back to work. See ya."
Misato glared into her cup of coffee. Ritsuko wouldn't have bothered to say something like that unless there was something she wanted her to pick up on. She stood up from her seat and slugged down the remaining coffee in her cup before heading towards the exit to the bridge. Now that she thought about it she'd never really given much thought to what Kaji actually did at NERV. What Ritsuko said seemed to imply he had his own reason to be there, that he might be a spy of some kind. There had been rumors of spies as of late... could he actually be one?
Once she'd located him on the security cameras she was going to track him down. Besides... she had unfinished business with him from the previous night...
Finally... at long last he'd finally reached the destination that had called to him for so long. He'd finally reached Terminal Dogma, the place that he'd known held the key to whatever it was that NERV was up to, the key that he himself had delivered to them... but what were they doing with it? That was a question he desperately wanted to know the answer to, perhaps an answer that lay just ahead of him down the hallway he was walking down. Though he couldn't be certain, he had a hunch that it was being regenerated, probably for something related to the Human Instrumentality Project that he'd stumbled across information on. Whatever NERV and SEELE were planning he would get to the bottom of it one way or another. First however, he needed to confirm his suspicions...
Kaji paused for a moment. He could have sworn he heard footsteps behind him. He smiled. He'd covered his tracks far too well for some random guard to be following him down here. Not even Fujita would have followed him this far into the depths of the NERV complex without arousing suspicion. Considering that Commander Ikari still considered him an asset, despite in all likelihood knowing the things he was up to, that meant that most likely he wasn't being tailed by another agent. He smirked. It was probably Misato... she'd probably gotten wind of his activities from Ritsuko. He couldn't blame her for telling her. After all, what were friends for? Soon enough she would have to learn the truth anyway and deal with her being upset with him...
He resumed his steady walk towards the final door at the bottom of Terminal Dogma with a grin. After all, if there was anyone who could catch him in the act of snooping around NERV it might as well be her. She out of anyone would understand his obsessive drive to know the truth behind everything that had happened since Second Impact...
She'd followed him for a while now, trailing as silently and as far back as she could without losing him to not arouse suspicion. He'd stopped for a moment and she'd ducked into the shadows of the hallway to try and keep hidden. She didn't want to have to shoot him after all... It seemed like Ritsuko's tip of him being a spy had been all too accurate. What other reason would he have to be sneaking around this low and this far from his assigned post? She felt just a little betrayed, the fact that she'd been so open and honest with him the previous night and he hadn't been with her. Even now, after drunkenly pouring her heart out to him, Ryouji Kaji still didn't trust her with his secrets...
Misato knew that they were very deep in Terminal Dogma. She'd never been this far down in the depths of the NERV facility before. It was... strange. The hallways were too dark and the ceilings far too high for her liking. The black walls, black floors, and black ceilings gave this place a sinister appearance. She didn't like it at all... She watched as Kaji rounded a corner and stopped in front of a pair of massive doors. They were far and away from any sort of prying eyes so... might as well confront him now.
She closed the distance between them as he pulled a key card from his pocket to swipe on the terminal built into the door and drew her sidearm, placing it against the back of his head as she clicked the safety off.
He raised his hands in surrender and slowly turned his head, a shit eating grin on his face. "Hey there," he said. "Feeling a bit better this morning?"
"I've sobered up, so yes," she curtly replied.
"I'm glad to hear it," Kaji returned.
She glared at him and tightened the grip on her gun. She wasn't about to let him sweet talk her into letting her guard down. "So, is this your real occupation, Kaji?" she accused. "Or is this just something you do part time?"
His stupid smirk never wavered. "What do you think?" he replied in that cheerfully aloof manner of his.
Of course he would try and dodge the question like that... "It seems to me that there are two Ryouji Kajis," she hissed. "One that works for NERV special inspection and the other for the Japanese government."
"Ha... so you knew," he replied cryptically.
Just the way he said it, so casually, really rubbed her the wrong way. "Don't underestimate NERV or me for that matter..." Misato growled in response.
"Was this ordered by Ikari?" he asked calmly, as if he didn't have her gun pressed against the back of his head.
So the commander already knew... "No, this is on my initiative," Misato spat. "But it you stay with this other job of yours, whatever it is, you'll die..."
"Perhaps not," he countered. "Commander Ikari is utilizing my services for his own ends. I am sorry though, for keeping this a secret from you."
His words sounded completely sincere. Her brow furrowed and she loosened her grip on his pistol. His words also raised many questions... How many secrets were kept from her? How many plots were going on around her without her knowledge? "I'll let it slide," she replied. "Call it repayment for how you helped me yesterday..."
"I appreciate that," Kaji replied, a hint of that slyness of his slipping back into his voice. "But you must know that Commander Ikari and Ritsuko are hiding many things from you..."
"What are you talking about?" she huffed, her annoyance with him flaring up once more.
"Perhaps you don't know NERV as well as you think you do," Kaji stated. Swiftly, he raised the key card in his hand high into the air before bringing it down, running it through the reader on the massive doors. "Behold!"
She grit her teeth and pushed the barrel of her gun hard against the back of his head as the doors slowly began to open. What was he doing? What could possibly be behind this door that was so important? As she took sight of what lay behind the door her eyes went wide...
Beyond the doors was a giant chamber that was filled with what appeared to be LCL. A walkway extended from the doorway they stood at leading what looked like a giant red crucifix. Nailed to that cross by the palms was a pale white, humanoid giant, or... half a giant as its torso ended above the waist in a series of hideous root like structures and bulbous globules. Dripping down from its body was a steady stream of the same LCL looking substance that was filling the surrounding pool. The giant's face was covered by a hideous mask displaying seven eyes and its body seemed to actually be emitting a soft glow making its appearance even eerier that it already was. Even more striking was that it was impaled through the chest by a gigantic crimson spear with twin prongs. "Is this an Eva?" she murmured in shock. Why did it seem so familiar...
Misato began to tremble where she stood as the terror set in, the memories of the giant of light she'd seen on the day of Second Impact playing over in her mind."No... it can't be..." she murmured. There was no way this could be the same creature that had nearly caused the end of the world... right?
"Yes..." Kaji replied. "This key to the Second Impact and everything that has happened since, the starting point of everything. This is Adam..."
"How could the First Angel be here!?" she cried in disbelief. "Why is it here!?"
"I don't know," Kaji replied. "But I want to find out the truth, for my own sake first and foremost..."
Misato glared at the monster in front of them, the monster that had broken the world and sent her life into chaos, that had begun her turmoil and set her on the path she walked... For what purpose would NERV keep such an abomination locked up in the depths of the geofront? That fact that the cause of Second Impact was being held in stasis at all provoked so many questions... "You're right, Kaji..." she snarled. "I don't know NERV. I don't know NERV at all..."
Author's notes
Well... that was quite a dramatic turn of events now wasn't it? Things are definitely piling up on our cast of characters aren't they?
At this point I think it's about time that I address the elephant in the room as it were... I would think that to those who have been following this closely have noticed that there has been a bit of ship teasing and those who've been paying attention should probably understand by now exactly what camp I typically side with. This chapter in no uncertain terms spells it all out. Perhaps some of you will be glad about this, others perhaps not. However, I cannot and will not promise you that the alluded ship will sail, and before you grab your torches and pitchforks, I cannot and will not promise that the alluded ship WON'T sail. In other words, whether a certain pair of pilots actually get together awaits to be seen.
But it does look promising... that's all I'll reveal.
Now that that's out of the way, hooray for having a bit more free time to write! It's been amazing being able to spend the majority of my days this past week composing this one. As with the previous chapter, the events of this chapter were among the first things I conceived of when I began coalescing the threads of this story into a cohesive plot within my mind. As such I've been looking forward to writing it for quite some time. On a side note, it's once again kinda boring not having any Ritsuko POV scenes in this chapter and our lead heroine only got one scene in the whole chapter! This is unacceptable and I will certainly do my best to bring them back to the forefront in coming updates.
Read and review as always my friends! Thank you all for sticking around this far!
Regards,
A.F.