Chapter 5: Accompaniment
Darkness...
It was all that could be seen.
Not the kind of darkness where one would normally feel fear towards, but the void itself emulated a variable of loneliness like that of isolation. Yet, there's a sensation of familiarity where there should have been more than this.
It's dark.
An echo of a thought manifested as a youthful voice resounded, and a clear blue gazes into the seemingly endless void.
Aware of the surroundings, vague in imagery, vivid in feeling. Incompatible cognitions like that of a dream, no, perhaps it is a lucid dream with how clearly he could comprehend.
With nothing else to do, an immediate decision to traverse forward was made as if the conclusion was natural.
The pitch black darkness, thought to be a quiet place, but phantoms step made reverberated taps as if walking in a long and empty hallway. The sense of movements were floaty, as if he wasn't walking on anything tangible, though it was needless to think too hard about vertically speaking and proceeded onward without falter.
A clear sense of certainty in the direction he walked on was an oddly perplexing sensation, as it wasn't a conscious choice, but an instinctual decision; or would it be called unconsciously deciding?
Step by step follow the repeating tapping noise it produced, the path seemingly endless, yet an emotion of anticipation well up from within as if the destination is at hand.
What is this feeling in my chest?
This is strange, because the mind and heart were ambiguously out of sync in whatever dream this was.
Feeling of foreign recognition about this place was not logical. The steps felt fast yet slow where the perception of times seemed to overlap at once, yet somehow it made sense only to him.
In the next few step that could be perceive suddenly stopped in their tracks. He had long since accepted to follow an induced intuition that's been acting as the only guidepost in this world.
Hmm... he pondered curiously.
I wonder... because something was missing.
Why do I feel like that there shou-
Like the unfurling of black curtains, the scenery change suddenly all at once. Sweeping away the darkness in a tidal wave of blue light, not so blinding for the mind's eyes and gave way for a world of Azur.
Wow~!
It was like everything was transitioned over by a paint brush taking a single stroke to create a dreamworld of clear tranquility. The grounds reflecting surface as clear as a mirror, but a single step produced causes ripples in it's entirety, like a pebble thrown into still water. As far as the eye can see is an azure sky so expansive that it seemed to have no end, while the only clouds in sight were ahead of his view as one huge clump of a vaporous nimbus.
Simple might be accurate to describe the setting of this environment, but it is also beautiful and wondrous landscape.
What a neat place~.
A gaze shined at the beautiful scenery as if stepping into a personal wonderland.
As empty as it might be, he still enjoyed the wide open sky and how a step causes an ever stretching ripple across the water like floor. It felt free of doubt and anxiety, refreshing and unrestrained of the meaning of limitation, perceiving things that couldn't be seen before. And most of all, it was like it could change in some way to make itself better than before.
Then something caught sight of a pair of blue eyes, the wavelets from the steps that reached the direction of the clouds seemed to have a change in colouration.
The clear transparency of the floor cascades into an orangey hue.
Hmm?
Drawn by curiosity and pacing towards the nimbus clouds, closing in the distance revealed the darkening outlines of the clouds above.
The range has gotten to a point where he was almost under the thick clouds while the orange hue of the ground slowly turned into red.
A desire to look at a distance, but somehow, he couldn't stop his pace. As if a mysterious gravity was pulling him in, coupled with something similar to being perturbed.
What is this foreboding sensation?
Why is his heart racing?
"I'll need you to stop right there..."
!?
He managed to stop himself?
"A little too close for comfort."
The voice came from everywhere yet nowhere at the same time. A voice that sounded like multiple of the same voice rather than echoing from a distance, masculine but also calm and clear with a very welcoming atmosphere like one you would have with family.
Sensing the one who spoke, but could not determine for sure if the individual is actually here with him. For some reason his presence was here yet not here.
"You have questions. Unfortunately, it will have to be for another time." The voice felt crestfallen. "It isn't the right opportunity."
What did he mean by that? The tone holding an essence of consideration became more soothing as he continued to talk.
"Thank you for visiting though, but it's time to wake up."
And once more, like a flick of a switch, everything became dark. Yet the voice in this dream said his last unheard sentiments filled of reminiscing nostalgia.
"Hm... the blue sky... how long has it been... It's wonderful."
OOO
Eyelids shot open to reveal crystal blue orbs as the morning sun passed through the windows.
Hisashi slowly sat up while starching his arms out to relieve some tension in his joints
"What a strange...dream?"
He pondered the last part because he couldn't quite remember what it was, but somehow, the sensation felt really significant of importance that it remained fresh in his mind. What he could remember was the sense of exhilaration and fascination from witnessing an amazing scene, which unfortunately is missing from his memory... much to his dismay.
"Why can't I remember?" The young boy pouted in disappointment.
He could easily recall most of the dreams he had before, such as riding on a cloud, swimming with talking dolphins or walking through a city made of sweets. "Maybe it'll come back to me later." He reasoned optimistically.
"I see you're up Hisashi." A grown man's voice brought back the boy's attention to his surroundings.
Oh right.
When Kiritsugu came back from his trip overseas, the boys, especially Hisashi, were gleeful by his return and threw a welcome home celebration much to the man's pleasant surprise. A small party overall, however it was no less than lively with the enthusiasm Taiga and Hisashi offered to the occasion, Shirou being in charge of food which is an obligation he felt entitled to, and Ragai with some of his men paying a friendly visit with expensive gifts in tow.
It should have been memorable a event, Kiritsugu even brought some some souvenirs and tales of his travels to tell the boys about the snowy region... yet his smile wasn't entirely there.
It blew over everyone's head since the man himself flawlessly did not give himself away behind that grin, except for Shirou and Hisashi, though rather than knowing what was wrong, the boys only sensed that something wasn't right about it.
It was full of melancholy.
Then there was one more subtlety they noticed from him, his sighs to be exact. Considered to be sighs of relief after returning home from a long trip, the haggardness coming out as a breath seemed exasperated, as if failing from a trialing ordeal.
At the time, the bothers didn't know how to bring about the subject without dampening the mood of the party, but even with the decision of waiting it out until the three were by themselves, Kiritsugu manage to divert the topic by informing how he was getting old with the emphasis of a stiff back and simply changed the topic.
The red headed boy did not buy the old man act with quite a bit of scrutiny, but he reluctantly let it go since Hisashi took a considerate stance about the situation by not prying any farther. The youngest boy opt to spending father and son time with Kiritsugu, hence the current event of sleeping in his father's bed.
"Morning papa~." He greeting with a chime like tone.
The man himself had accepted the warm reception with a smile. There's something about this boy that just uplifts the spirit within ones heart, an innate talent that's hard to come by. A blessing that Kiritsugu felt undeserving of, yet it also worried him how the ugly side of this world would affect this little soul if it ever comes to it, let alone what the mystical aspects of reality will offer.
He just hoped that will never come to be if he could help it.
"Hmm~" Looks like Hisashi had something on his mind which he made obvious with a cute thinking pose, a tilt of the head and a thumb on the chin.
"Is there something on your mind." Kiritsugu lightly chuckled at his sons innocent display.
A short second later he replied. "I think I had an amazing dream."
"Oh, Like the candy city dream you told me last time?"
Honestly it surprises the man how much his youngest son seem to love sweets. While it did concern him about Hisashi's health, the boy's bright passion for sugary treats made it hard for him to tell his son to lay off on the sweets, and Taiga did not help any and instead jumped in the bandwagon of sugar on the brain. So Shirou was the only one stern enough to mitigate their candy frenzy much to the redhead's solicitude concerns.
"Uh ah, not like that." He shook his head. "It was like... how do I put this?" Seems like he was thinking quite hard about the words he wanted to covey. "Otherworldly is what I'm thinking... but I don't remember what it was about."
Otherworldly? It was strange to Kiritsugu how this was particularly said in a choice of words from the boy. For someone as young as him, you would expect that he'd say something like "I think I had a cool dream" or "it was a fun dream" with his airy nature in consideration, but "otherworldly" set off some alarm bells in the father's head. He hopes that was just a figment of his imagination caused by his deteriorating health and paranoia.
"It was familiar... yet not familiar." Deeply pondered Hisashi. "Hm? Why did those words pop in my mind?"
Oh boy, that sounded mysteries. Didn't help Kiritsugu's growing worries either.
*Grrrr~*
In the quiet morning besides the birds chirping outside, a small grumbling sound came from the small but still growing boy who started rubbing his tummy.
"Papa~ let's eat breakfast~." He smiled with a blush.
The earlier tension from the old man, as Shirou would sometimes call him, soften. To his relief, Hisashi still behaved like his usual self even from what sounded like a profound contemplation proceeding through his mind earlier.
The chronically tired man picked up his surprisingly light son to which the boy happily clung around the shoulders. "Then let's go downstairs. Shirou is probably awake and already making food."
"Mmm~ Nii-chan's cooking~." The blue eyes looked fluttery as he almost drooled.
There was something therapeutic about the way the boy's personality shone through with a bubbly display of energy if Kiritsugu smile has anything to discuss there.
They made their way downstairs and entered the living room. "Morning you two!" And a regular guest made herself comfortable.
"Taiga-chan~!" The little boy unhesitatingly jumped from on person's arms into another.
"Morning sweetie pie!" She shouted in a joyfully high-pitch fashion.
A very common occurrence as of late at the dawn of the Emiya estate. The initially visits for attending to the boys when the father was away had evolved to daily visits in the mornings for free breakfast from Shirou and dotting on her lovable Hisashi as she would bluntly state.
"Quite a lively start of the day." Kiritsugu amusingly said as he sat against the table with prepared food.
"No kidding." A flat tone coming from Shirou who poured the man some tea. "So much for the quiet mornings ever since Fuji-nee started coming everyday."
"At least both her and Hisashi are happy with the arrangements." His father commented who idly glossed over the newspaper.
Sighting upon his surrogate sister feeding a tamago egg to his little brother, who widen his mouth open as if he was a baby bird, made Shirou sigh with a soft smile.
Sure, Taiga with her flippant attitude made him worry about how it would influence Hisashi, but the black haired boys down to earth intelligence and insightful air has manage to alleviate some of those concerns. So watching them creating such a warm atmosphere has given Shirou a sense of well placed peace.
"Guess you're right." He agreed. "At least they both balance each other out, which is a plus."
In other words, a chaotic force meets gentle serenity, salt and sugar, the tiger with the cub, and so on with the analogies.
As time past in the morning, breakfast moved on as normal for this makeshift family. The sounds of chopsticks chinking against bowls and plates, Taiga being an eating machine, their are content with the usual atmosphere within everyone's presence.
But in the middle of it, one little boy's normally heathy appetite slowed down to eat at a snail's pace and seemed far more out of tune with the world than usual. He always had his head in the clouds as part of a personality trait, yet he had a sharp sense of awareness that still anchors him to his surroundings in reality when one understood him like his family.
But today, his blue eyes were clouded enough in thought to grander the attention of the people around him.
"Hey Hisashi, is something on your mind?" Shirou started.
"Hmm~?" He snapped out of his musing with a jolt of his body, then noticed how everyone's eyes was on him in curiosity. "... did I do something?"
Maybe they were overthinking things, but his slow reaction was less energetic from the norm which cause a slight case of worry.
"Not really, more like you are kind of quiet." Shirou added, because in his experience his little brother always liven things up during breakfast one way or another. From eating with two sets of chopsticks in each hands, disappearing tricks with his food that somehow ended up in his mouth, being fed by others or he fed the others which Fuji-nee would indulge in most of the time.
"Are you feeling sick? Coming down with a cold maybe?!" Taiga placed her hand on Hisashi's forehead and started freaking out, adding unnecessary drama to the situation.
Hisashi delicately held her hand away from his head and showed his signature soft smile "Fuji-nee I'm okay, I'm not sick." He sagely relied while holding his hand other hers. "Sorry if I worried you guys, I was just trying to remember a dream I had last night."
"A dream?"
"Hisashi mentioned that he had a 'cool' dream." Kiritsugu jumped into conversation and offered a tidbit onto the matter. "He said how it was familiar yet unfamiliar to him."
"..."
Because of how contradictory the statement sounded, Shirou and Taiga had to invest some time to think about the concept.
"How does that even work?!" The girl's mind experienced a meltdown as imaginative smoke fumed out of her head.
"That sounds a little too vague to go on." Shirou pondered. "Is there anything else you can remember?"
Digging into his minds for any possible memory from an intangible dream, Hisashi tried to formulate the words to the best of his ability.
"Let me think..." he literally crossed his arms in ponder, though it looked cute from everyone's perspective.
"Ok." He started. "It felt free, as if it could alter into any shape or form to whatever I desired. Comfortable and nostalgic like a home I was visiting for the first time... what else was there?..." the boy squeezed out as much detail as he could conjure in his vocabulary. "And... it was like a whole new point of view opened up to me and perceives the world more clearly... but it's weird how hazy it seems to me now..."
Left to his own inner debate, Hisashi rather elaborate descriptions left everyone else with expressions described as being wide eyed. The vividness in the boys words were different somehow, while minimal at best, it almost sounded like some of the words he used weren't completely made up by him. As if a scripts was written by someone else that Hisashi would read out. Then again, it could just be the boy's improving articulation with his head in the dictionary lately.
"Wowzah... when did he start using big words all of a sudden?" Taiga let out in astonishment.
"Nostalgic like a home? Could it be memories that you've lost?"
Shirou pointed a possibility of what made his brother so fixated on this dream of his. Maybe past memories of his family or home that's been repressed within the depths of his subconscious. Though outside of expectations, Hisashi shook his head.
"No, I don't think so." He responded tenderly. "I don't thing it was a home or anything like past memories before the fire happened. It was more familiar yet unrecognizable at the same time."
He held a hand under his chin in pondering for a few seconds, before deciding to recede the posture and touched on something of personal value to himself.
He lovingly grinned at everyone. "But even if it was past memories... it doesn't change that this house is the home I will always know, and everyone here is the family I will always have." A statement from his heart, something he is very proud, because it's second nature to him. "So nothing will change how much I love you all."
What other response could there have been besides the warmth he decided to drop in their chests. Kiritsugu held an appreciative smile in recognition of his youngest son's intent while Shirou reddened cheeks showed his embarrassment by how Hisashi could spout such unrestrained affection without an ounce of hesitation. Taiga almost, or already did, exploded in a girlish squeal as she latched onto the black haired boy with everything she's got.
"You are the best little brother a sister could ask for!" Let's hope she doesn't get a heart attack from the chest throbbing excitement. "Nobody's taking you away from me and that's final!"
"I love you too~"
"Aaand we lost her..." Shirou said in monotone between bites of rice and fish.
At the very least, the morning started off on a very positive note, especially in Kiritsugu's opinion.
"What a fine morning this is."
O.O.O
Finishing of their breakfast, Fuji-nee was the first one to dash herself out the front door like the wind, well after giving Hisashi a goodbye kiss on the forehead.
As of now, the Emiya brothers head to school as their father saw them off at the gate.
"Have a nice day you two." Kiritsugu weakly waved his hand until he recalled a small errand that the boys could run for him. "Oh and if it's not too much trouble, would you boys pick up some groceries on your way back?"
"Okey." Replied Shirou. "I was already about to do that anyway." He took it as a given since the kitchen is his territory.
This wasn't their first errand either. Taiga has accompanied the kids into the market for most of their excursions. The stall owners has grown familiar with the Emiya brothers with Hisashi spearheading the sunny greetings where as Shirou's lighthearted reprimanding added an adorable dynamic to themselves; and more often than not the local folks grew quite fond of the young duo.
So even if the boys were by themselves in the district, there where more than a few adults keeping an eye out for them. Even the Fujimura group isn't too far behind either.
"See ya later papa!" Hisashi waved back enthusiastically with a jump.
The sight of the kids figures shrank far enough to be inaudible from hearing distance. As for Kiritsugu sighed contentedly while he watch his adoptive children live out a normal life.
Though he was dispirited in not being able to retrieve Illyasviel from that enchanted winter castle, that doesn't mean he will give up anytime soon, because in spite of his obviously naive hopes to succeed, his stance for such a goal remained strong in his heart and mind.
His ideals may have died, but Illya is still alive and waiting for him.
For now though, he plans to set up preparations for his next attempt for his trip in Germany; regardless of what condition his body is in.
His only cause for concern is if these trips would cause his sons to become anxious over his well being. Shirou has grown to be much more independent and probably trust the decisions Kiritsugu would make for himself. While Hisashi would also trust his father, the clinginess he displayed on his return has made the man momentarily pause himself in his steps.
Regardless, the conviction he walked himself onto was too important to stop anytime from now. He's aware how he is running on limited time, that it could end any time from any of the days, months, or years from now.
There was no room for hesitations.
At the very least, between his preparation he will have the time to spend of the these waking moments to be with the boy and maybe even guide them to have a normal life. He wish he could somehow make Shirou resign from having him learn Magecraft, or the fact that he wanted to be of help to everyone to an unhealthy degree; like that of a hero of justice.
If only the kid knew what sort of steep price such selfishness would cost him without destroying his soul in the end, yet how should he go about it?
Such a large question but nothing to answer for. Maybe he could have Hisashi's help in convincing Shirou to veer away from such ideals, given how understanding the youngling was with his father's reservation about mystics or justice; plus he knows his way with people as well.
But then again, did he even have to decide on such things?
So many questions and worries in mind, so little time unfortunately.
But for now, he'll leave it for another time.
O.O.O
The blue sky remained into the late afternoon as Shirou and Hisashi brought the groceries needed for restocking the kitchen. Nothing eventful was worth noting besides people at the market district giving them a little extra for being the hard working boys they were, a common occurrence when the boys shopped by themselves.
Taiga usual presence is currently absent due to obligations at the kendo club by whipping her members into shape for the upcoming tournament at her school, and quite literally speaking in her "Special" training methods... may those poor souls rest in pieces.
There is one thing that stood out though, a set of blue eyes held a continuous gaze at an equally blue sky. Yes, the boy has a tendency to day dream like the clouds, but what's different is how Hisashi's head faced up at every chance he could seize all day besides when talking to others.
He's shown odd behaviour before, but not as single minded as this. It has made Shirou reasonably concern if something was up with his little brother's mental state.
"Hisashi." The redhead started while stopping his legs on the sidewalk.
"Yes?"
"I'll just say it. Why are you looking at the sky?"
What a way to put it bluntly, as delicately as a crash test to be precise.
"..." Hisashi listlessly stared at Shirou's eyes in the span of five seconds before shifting into a ponder with his arms crossed in another set of five seconds. Apparently when Hisashi comes across a hard to grasp situation aimed towards himself, he settles on a "think for ten seconds before doing or saying anything" protocol since discovering how well it tends clears his mind.
Like a lightbulb switch in his head, words came to him as his eyes are transparent like crystals. "I just thought the sky looked beautiful today, like I wanted to appreciate it."
"Hmm..." Shirou was thoroughly confused. The little brother always had an unusual perspective. He would sometimes spouts out concepts that leaves others to do a double take, and today he is serving that by at least threefold. "Where is this coming from exactly." His golden eyes quirked with signs of an internal struggle to comprehend.
"Eh he he, I actually don't know~" His head tilted up in the sky without reservation. "For some reason, I started feeling that we take it for granted sometimes. Don't you think so?"
Appreciate the sky? Honestly, Shirou could agree that it is a nice clear day, which would be ideal for a picnic or playing out under the sun, but that's really it. Just a normal sky when no clouds darkening the day, but for some reason, Shirou felt that there was a truly deep meaning behind Hisashi's words as far as he could tell.
What he didn't get is where the his brother's fixation over an everyday event was coming from. And Hisashi saying abstract things like "don't we take it for granted?" towards the sky really adds a jumble of information that Shirou tried to piece together in his head.
So far from his memory, the boy's fascination over the troposphere has persisted over the course of this morning. Shirou had to remind Hisashi on multiple turns to watch where he was going with his eyes constantly glancing up, but why? Before today, the younger boy was fine...
Oh wait a sec, there is something Shirou could bring up from this morning.
"Does this have to do something with your dream last night?" He asked, hoping for concrete progress on the topic.
The pause in their step issued Hisashi thinking pose once more, though this time took him less than five seconds to reply.
"Maybe." He answered tilting his head with an odd sense of realization.
"So it's still distracting you." Shirou added with a flat stare.
"Well, that dream gave me feelings that is really hard to put into words. I don't know why, but it's distracting me and makes me wonder a lot of things." He rubbed the back of his black hair in resigned embarrassment. "Eh he, I guess I wasn't hiding it too well."
"You think?" The question came out more as sarcasm than anything else with Hisashi chuckled nervously in response. Then when Shirou sighed to himself, a serious look in his golden eyes met sapphire blue. "Listen Hisashi. It's okey if you like to day dreaming, watch the sky, or even figure out your feelings sometimes. But can you please not do it while we are on the road? You could get hurt or even get into an accident if you're not carful, and I couldn't stand it if something happened to you." At the end of the sentence, it felt like Shirou was pleading in concern.
Hisashi's eyes dilated, standing silently as his hand slowly clutched over his chest. He's a child, so it's normal to frolic in the depths of his imaginative mind, and pondering on emotions too complex for his current self to make heads or tails of, which led him to be even more disconnected of his surroundings. Yet his brother's frown and worried look conveyed to him a sincere intent.
The troubles of the heart in caring for a precious sibling.
The boy himself understood that Shirou was only thinking of his well being, and steered him away from the consequences when his body was on autopilot all day.
The worry of a brother is natural, especially for them.
His head of black hair leaned downwards with small lips pursed, and blue eyes started to appear watery on the surface. He was feeling inconsiderate, and most of all, he didn't want to cause trouble for anyone, he desires to make others smile, all the more for his older brother.
"I'm sorry Nii-chan, I didn't mean to worry you." He responded remorsefully as his cheeks looked puffy in Shirou's perspective.
The redhead dropped his shoulders to relax his tense shoulders. When Hisashi unveil those blue forlorn orbs, he always wonder if he overreacts sometimes when his little brother's innocent eyes starts filling with genuine guilt and sadness staring at him, because it always pushes him into wanting to apologize instead.
Self repenting aside, a hand instinctively reached out to the head of black hard with a gentle stroke.
"Hey it's okay, because at least you understand well enough." His free hand scratched his cheek in thought. "As long as you are safe, it is all that mattered to me."
Shirou's tone of reassurance immediately lifted Hisashi's spirit like the parting of clouds, and eyes glistened in it's accustomed sense of relief and joy. "Thanks Nii-chan, you're the best big brother anyone can have."
"Hey. You're embarrassing me." Shirou's cheeks changed into a cherry pink and avoided eye contact. "Besides it's not a big deal, it's normal to take care of your siblings." At least for him.
"Doesn't change how much I love you~"
"How can you say these things with such a straight face?!" The brotherly affection was a little too much for Shirou to handle. At least they manage to resolve the issue between themselves once again.
Sure, the trivial display of drama is childish at best, but since they are kids, they have the privilege of getting away with it.
Anyhow, with the issue out of the way and Hisashi back into his normal mindset, he figure that he could maul on personal mysteries some other time when his ability to comprehend new emotions matures a bit. As he said so himself, he has time.
"Let's go home, I bet dad is waiting for us."
"Okey~"
That was the plan, since the sun was reaching into early twilight.
Yet only a few blocks in their walk was met with the playground area, just as they turned a corner, they noticed a group of kids standing at the entryway.
A count of six figures, four boys bunched in their group while the remaining two seems to be females.
The spiky haired boy in front of the four bodied group seemed to be their leader while a girl in front of another female wore a deep shade of red clothes with wavy brown hair tied in twin tails, but the girl a few steps behind her has a familiar colour scheme of violet.
"Sakura-chan?" Hisashi muttered.
While the brothers peeked at the scene in curiosity, it became obvious how tense the situation was with how two particular kids stared down each other; especially when the spiked haired kid held onto his swollen cheek with a glare which the girl mirrored.
Scenarios like these are something Shirou is well aquatinted with, but he didn't immediately jump to conclusions just yet. At the same moment, what caught Hisashi's eye was Sakura's passive expression in the unfolding event, yet there was an inconsistency about it that he couldn't quite put his finger on.
"What was that for!? Punching me like that all of a sudden." Shouted the boy.
"Oh would you shut it!" The girl shot back. "You think ganging up on one girl is fun or something?!" The volume of her yelling reached an octave higher.
"What's it to ya? You friends with her or something?"
"Uh.. it not-" she suddenly seemed hesitant and indecisive in answering the nature of the question.
The boy stomped a foot while sneering at her. "Then butt out if you have no business with doll girl over there you brat!" Despite the event, Sakura remained passive to the slight against her.
"What did you say!?" The red dressed girl's fiery temper reignited for several reasons besides the insult.
As the argument between children could possibly evolve into fighting, Shirou couldn't watch anymore as his knuckles whitened. Yet before he made a dash towards the scene, his attention was caught by Hisashi patting his left shoulder.
"Nii-chan, let me try something."
His eyes widened incredulously. "What? Don't you see what's going on?! They are picking on Sakura! And that girl in front of her is outnumbered!"
"Let me try and talk with them." He honestly claimed. "Wouldn't you want to settle things without fighting?"
"As much as I want to agree with you, this case isn't one of them." He frustratingly denied. "That girl over their seemed to have punched one of them, and I can tell that they aren't up for talking. You might get hurt if your too close to them." Shirou had a bit of experience with these kinds of kids who tries to show their superiority over others.
"Oh don't worry, I'm fast you know. If it comes to it, come to my rescue." He said knowingly which actually got his brother's attention. "Plus I'd like to try something along the way if it comes to it."
Without waiting for Shirou's replied, the black haired boy skips over to the group of kids with a spring in his step.
"Don't you have anything better to do?!"
"What are you going to do about it?" The boy mocked.
In Sakura's location, her impassive stare leaves one to wonder if she was even affected by the current state of affairs that primarily involves her. Then a hand tapped behind her shoulders, absent attention was met with the listless grin from Hisashi.
"Hi Sakura-chan." He greeted as if things were normal.
Her voided eyes to understandably blink. "Hisashi-san?"
This has apparently caught the rest of the squabbling children's attention.
"Who are you?" The female that apparently protected Sakura asked first in cautiousness.
"Oh." First giving a polite bow to her, he introduced himself in lighthearted glee. "My name is Emiya Hisashi, and a friend of Sakura-chan. I'd like to thank you for helping her."
"Eh?" The girls showed bafflement by the boy's fluffy attitude before saying a courteous "your welcome" on reflex.
"Hey! You friends with those freaks over there?" Another boy asked with a nasty remark and looked at his group laughing.
"Why you!"
Before the girl's fiery temper could detonate, the young boy next to her caught her attention by waving his hand at her peripheral. With blue eyes sighting on another set of blue eyes, he quietly whispered to her "let me handle it" in a playful demeanor before walking up the the boy's group, much to her bemusement.
It seemed that the boys were going to question the blue eyed boy's appearance until he abruptly shot out an open palm to them, which had the intended effect of stopping the kid's mouths in their tracks.
"Tsk tsk tsk." Hisashi waved around an index finger in a disapproving gesture. "You know, if you guys really want to be the big boys, than bullying girls younger than you is not the right way to go."
"What?" Was all the guys could say in place.
In response, he showed them a solemn smile.
"I don't fully know why you would pick on others, but that's my friend you are bullying. So ridiculing like that isn't cool, because you won't grow with people respecting you like that." Before he finishing off, he said this last parted good heartedly. "If you heard of karma, it's better to build good karma than bad karma."
A pregnant pause swept over the children. On one side, the two girls had varying degrees of being surprised by the boy's persuasive sentences, more so for the red dressed girl, while some of the boys started hesitating in the actions they were involved in with second thoughts in mind. The leader of the group looked quite frustrated, as if his misplaced pride took a blow to the face.
"W-what do you know?!"
He initially tried to shove Hisashi away with momentum behind the push, but it didn't go as planned with the younger boy skipped backwards. A moment of being nonplussed, the temperamental boy beginning sprinted in a wailing fist, yet instead of connecting the punch, Hisashi seemed to have disappeared in his view. The ill mannered boy nearly staggered forward before righting his posture.
"Huh? Where did he go?"
"Right here~"
Right behind him was the same boy he attempted to shove, grinning with a wave of his hand. The other boys seemed shocked by how fast Hisashi just moved a moment ago, and the girls internally shared the same opinion.
"It's not nice shoving people like that, someone could get hurt. And punching is a big no no in my books~" He softly lectured. "Oh by the way-"
"Why yo- waa!" The kid went for another swing with his fist, but ended up falling to the ground. "Ow! What the?!" That's when he noticed how his shoe laces were tied together. "When did this happen?!"
Hisashi stuck his tongue out and tapped his head with a fist in a cutesy pose. "I was about to warn you to watch your step. Teehee~"
It seems that as of late, Hisashi developed a mischievous side that would have been more playful in any other given time, and with how fast the boy can work those hand in his magic tricks, it was quite a worrying recipe of unpredictability. Shirou would blame Taiga for it since she's the only jokester they would knew.
"Don't just stand there! Get him!" The downed brat shouted while struggling the unravel the knot done to his shoes.
At the lead boy's command, the others attempted to dog pile the black haired boy. He jumped between the gaps of their bodies without trouble and made a run for the playground.
"Catch me if you can~." So far, he sounded like he was having fun.
They chased after him. One of the boys managed to keep up and reach Hisashi in an attempted to giving him a right hook, but the Emiya boy spun his body 180° and sidestep the attack while tripped the assault at the same time.
Then when another kid came in throwing their wayward punches, Hisashi easily deflected the fists with a martial art defence stance. Blow after blow, yet non managed to land since pushing the wrists to the side was easy to accomplish when reading the opponents moves correctly, even if the punches themselves were strong behind the motion.
Taiga has taught Hisashi some basic martial arts in order for her dear little brother to defend himself with if the time ever arises. Currently the boy's deflection movements made it look like he was doing one of those firework dances at a festival, and he was having fun with it too despite the danger.
"Hanabi hanabi~" It got on his assaulters short nerves.
It was going well, but because he was currently occupied with intercepting, two other boy managed to surround him and blocked his escape route.
"Ah oh."
They closed in ready to deliver a beat down on him, while Hisashi actually panicked in how to get out of the situation. The least he could duck under their fists and slip by them, but it wasn't guaranteed to always work in his favour if his timing is off.
"GOT YOU!" The gang of boys shouted in there charge.
His blue eyes shifted in all three directions, his frantic mind created difficulties for decisive actions.
Honestly he didn't want to be hurt if he could help it. Negotiating with them as nicely as he could still ended up with these kind of results instead. Sure his little joke with tying the kids shoes was part of the factor, but he was not going to apologize to them if they think abusing on others for fun was okey, especially to those he calls friends like Sakura.
But Shirou was right, they weren't up for talking even if Hisashi had the naive hope of making nice by talking it out. A boy could dream though.
Wait a minute...
In the split second before the kids were inches away from striking, a hand tightly grabbed the wrist of one of the thrown fists.
"Don't you dare touch my brother!"
With a stained shout, Shirou pivoted his body and used the forward momentum to send the kid off the ground and into the air. Hisashi kept his head low while feeling the wind of the body fly over him with a yelp and heard the impact of the other assailant colliding with his buddy.
At the same instance, a girl swooped in with a flying kick to the third attacker which nailed both the face and chest, sending him backwards with a thunk.
Now with the majority of the bullies down, and from an outside perspective, the roles had reversed themselves.
"You want a piece of me?! Because I'm ready to pummel you!" The girl shouted her ultimatum.
Yet Shirou just stood beside her with a cold glare falling on the boys which made them feel chills up their spine truthfully speaking. It felt unsettlingly sharp.
The boys not expected how intimidating the two kids would be and ended up running away with their tails between their legs.
"Don't you dare show your faces in from of me again!" She said the last of her frustration and calmed herself quickly. Then as she looked at the red headed boy standing next to her, she was surprise by the look in his expression. She could see the other factor for those bullies to ran away, and she was inwardly impressed.
"Thank you Nii-chan~." Oh yeah, there was a part of the cause of the disturbance right behind her.
Shirou managed to cool his temper as he turned to face Hisashi with a deadpanned gaze. While the boy flinched in premonition of how much trouble he was in, the twin tailed girl also had a say in the matter.
"And what do you think you're doing?! You could have gotten hurt if we didn't save you in time!" She fervidly reprimanded him.
Gingerly, Hisashi shrank in on himself looking demurred. "I just trusted that you would help me in time."
"That doesn't change the fact the you were at risk, imagine how Fuji-nee or Dad would react if you got hurt." Plus he didn't want to think about what Taiga would do after the fact if his brother was injured.
"I'm sorry." His blue eyes looked down, now feeling remorseful by the trouble he might have caused.
The girl started to falter in the heat of the moment, she didn't think she was wrong, but the look on the little boy made her almost want to back some of her words; emphasis on almost. It kind of appeared as if she was picking on him with the tone she yelled at him, though her intentions were well placed.
"...Nii-chan?" Hisashi was met with unreadable golden eyes.
Silence pervaded for about a minute at most. To this point, Hisashi had his head down in resignation, waiting for Shirou to deliver a scolding. His melancholic eyes began to produce a thin film of water threatening to leak out.
The girl stood awkwardly a distance away from them. She understood from the short tidbits of their conversation that they were brothers to say the least. Despite Hisashi calling him Nii-chan, their appearance were very different from each other to be blood related, yet their interaction was definitely that of family.
It brought back some memories to her, a past that still haunts her to this day as she sighted Sakura standing under one of the trees, observing in a blank stare.
"Hisashi." The redhead finally said a word while the black haired boy silently sat in seiza, waiting for whatever punishment to come.
The girl was grimly curious about what the older sibling was about to do to his younger brother, though she hoped it wouldn't come to some form of a harsh punishment.
The result didn't occur as anticipated, because after uttering the little boy's name, Shirou reached out his hand and tenderly placed the limb onto a head of black hair.
"I'm just glad that you are okay."
In that one minute of silence, Shirou dug into his thoughts about how to react towards Hisashi's actions up to this point. Honestly, he had a lot to say about putting himself in harms way to help someone, yet, who was he to judge?
He was as equally as guilty if not more for the same actions. Going around saving kids from bullies, earning himself some bruises in the scuffle. This was his little sibling's first encounter with such a situation since everyone usually dotes on him while Shirou went out of his way acting like the neighborhood's ally of justice. Also, since Sakura got pulled into this fiasco, they couldn't just leave it alone either.
Forgive and learn.
At least this is the way Hisashi preferred to live by the phase when at all possible. Currently though for the young boy, his eyes were wide while looking at his big brother's kind visage.
The spiral of untapped emotions swelled within his chest, gripping at his little heart in tearful relief and in part remorse. For such, he buried his face into Shirou's shirt with a firm embrace.
"... I'm sorry." Those blue eyes whimpered out. "I'm sorry for causing trouble... I'm sorry for worrying you..."
It was a first that Shirou has seen Hisashi crying like this as he felt a damp sensation from his clothes. This younger sibling was always grinning about every thing he finds fascinating or seek to make others laugh with his antics and magic tricks. But it seems when he's done something that would truly put himself in danger or enacts distress from people precious to him, he finds the fault in his actions and has difficulty copping with his condemning emotions.
With a sigh, all Shirou could do was stroke the head of black and wait it out until Hisashi manages to calm down enough in his shaking body and silent cry.
On the sidelines, the brown haired girl felt out of place with the current ongoings. She wanted to leave the vicinity, but looking at the Emiya siblings before her eyes, it made her reminiscent.
Times that were simpler, a heart that yearns for the past, nostalgia that should have been dear to her. Unfortunately, devotion and a promise tethered her to an obligation, even if today's event almost broke an accordance of her own volition.
Stewing in her conflicting thoughts, Hisashi manages to calm down enough to release Shirou from the tight hug, then lifted his face up towards his elder brother with puffy red eyes.
"Thanks for saving me Nii-chan." He wholeheartedly said with a grin.
Shirou's cheeks grew a shade of pink from embarrassment. "Hey there's no need to thank me, what are brothers for?" Though personally, saving his brother in the nick of time kind of filled him with great exhilaration.
"Ka hehe~" With his spirits back in order, he turns around to face the girl that also had a hand in saving his behind. "Thank you for helping me and Sakura."
This caught her by surprise as she wasn't expecting one of them to speak with her so familiarly.
"Huh?" She jolted at first until rebuilding her composure. "Ah, it no big deal. Those boys just made me pretty mad, thinking that they can get away with anything without facing consequences." She huffed at the thought, arms crossed in indignation.
"I can agree with you there." Shirou's spoke to her in a concurring smile. "That was a pretty nice kick you delivered. Kind of looked like you flew actually."
"Hmph. It's simple once you figure out the dynamics." She scoffed but slightly softened her posture. "Although you weren't too bad yourself. Throwing one of those boys into another of their buddies was well executed."
Suddenly, the mood around him as he let out a dry chuckle. "You can thank our wayward sister for that... I can still feel the judo lessons from last week..." His eyes looked vacated just recalling the memory; and don't get him started on the serious kendo practice she gave to him the week before, even if he did ask for it.
The girl quirked an eyebrow to his little state of agony. "Well, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." She said it as a matter of fact.
"Gee, thanks for the advise." Shirou sarcastically muttered as he stretched out his arms from the ordeal. "Though now that I think about it, while you did defend Sakura-san from those guys, it surprised me that you punched one of them." At least that is what he deducted.
"Do you have a problem with that?" She began to glare at him for the possible accusation.
"No, not really. I probably would have done the same thing in your shoes." He simply stated which earned a surprised look from her. "I think it's cool that a girl like you can stick up for others."
Somehow, she seemed fidgety by the compliment he said to her, and this is the first time a boy her age was kindly conversing with her. So to mask her coy emotions, she fiddled with one of the tips of her tied hair.
"O-oh, is that so." She fought back a blush.
Eye spy with Hisashi's little blue eye, he grinned at the bonds being formed. "Nii-chan made a friend~!"
"Well then, I shall introduce myself out of curtesy. My name is Tohsaka Rin."
"Likewise. The name's Emiya Shirou." He introduced himself, then gestured to the younger boy. "This is my little brother Hisashi."
"Aye~ nice to meet you." He held his hand up in a friendly and enthusiastic motion.
The girl known as Rin didn't know how her day was going proceed up to this point, but she was not expecting to meet some peculiar boys when she acted on an emotional impulse. One thing led to another, resulting in a playground brawl, yet somehow she ends up meeting normal boys that were not jerks for once and were genuinely nice to her.
It was arbitrary in nature. One boy dropped by in an attempt to defuse the situation, only to jump around the bullies like a monkey in a while goose chase. Then his red haired brother swooped in with an impressive feet of subduing two boys with one throw, and added with that cold glare managed to make was surprising intimidating in for a boy like him in her opinion. Then after all that, they were talking to her as if she was a newly acquainted friend. It felt new to her, and honestly speaking, it was kind of nice.
Yet... she wasn't sure if she could be friends with them, especially with the kind of life she is living and the secrets she has to hide. Feelings of ambivalence conflicting her psyche.
Meanwhile in the corner of the young boy's eye, he noticed how Sakura made an effort to steadily traipse her way to them.
"Ah Sakura-chan~."
The moment Hisashi uttered the girl's name, Shirou looked at Sakura's direction, but Rin froze in place with her bangs covering her eyes. The reaction seemed strange for the blue eyed boy who took notice.
"Hisashi-san, Shirou senpai." While minuscule at best, she sounded concerned for the boy's well being. "Are you two alright?"
"Yup~ we are a-okey." Hisashi put the emphasis by pumping his right arm and placing the other hand on the bicep.
"Not a scratch on us." While Shirou showed an amicable grin.
The emptied eyed girl visibly relaxed by the soft slump of her shoulders. Though once she laid eyes on Rin, there was uneasy sense of strain in between them. Clouded violet eyes flicked from a light of faint hope to a forsaken acceptance, while the twin tailed girl had a look of longing but could not make eye contact with her sight aimed sideways.
The silence was deafening, as the boys just watched the scene leaden in an uncomfortable atmosphere.
Shirou was puzzled by their unresponsive actions and unsure of what words to voice without comprehending the full picture, yet he did noticed how they seem to recognize each other at first glance. Hisashi detected the discrepancy with a little more acute focus and decided to break the ice.
"Do you know each other?" Which was what snapped the girls out of their noiseless stance.
Though out of the two, Rin spoke first. "We just go to the same school, that's all."
It's the truth, in part anyway.
In her response, Hisashi looked over at Rin for a moment before switching attention to Sakura. She didn't noticeable react per say, but his eye could see the minute changes in her body language where her hand tensed at a subtle twitch before stopping all together, and her unreadable eyes lowered to the ground.
It was a bond severed by tradition, outside of their control.
Shirou saw something as well, but in the evident awkwardness of the situation, he opt to steer the topic into a lighter direction.
"Well whatever the case may be, I'm glad that you helped her out."
"Eh?" Tohsaka rebooted her attention to Emiya as she shook her head and recomposed herself. "Well it's not my first time dealing with this kind of thing."
While they started talking, Hisashi fondly took Sakura's hand which got the desired reaction of catching her attention to look at his serene expression.
"Can I ask you a question?"
A few unresponsive moments later allowed seemingly emotionless girl to collect herself and nodded to him in reply.
"Were you waiting at the park?"
Another moment to herself led her to surmise what he meant, because Hisashi had come to his own deductions that this park was her usual hangout spot, she didn't have much else to do. Yet underneath his question indicated that she was waiting for something to happen even when Sakura wasn't actually expecting anything; though subconscious choices weren't off the table.
Overall she did not answer him, but that didn't stop a boy like Hisashi.
"If the park is a bad place for you, would you like to meet us at our front door instead?"
For reason unknown, the black haired boy always rouses some kind of reaction out of her whether it was subtle or well hidden, but he's mostly straight to the point and blunt. It was like his blue eyes could see right through her with a gentle and nonjudgmental look.
"I-is it really okay for me to come over?" Her tone held hesitance, and her body absently fidgeted in place.
"What are you talking about." His eyebrow quirked until he smiled once more. "It make me happy to have you visit us."
Truly, he was a boy untainted by what darkness this unforgiving world had to offer, it made Sakura feel undeserving being so close to him. His light is blinding, yet the hand holding her own never let go and instead became firmly secured.
A light that sees the shadow as an equal.
In part of the girls mind, she was disillusioned by Hisashi's kindness towards her. Perhaps not to defend herself, but to protect him instead, to keep him distant from a dirty existence such as herself.
Yet he wouldn't leave her alone.
Truth be told, it was comforting.
"Well, it's getting late." Shirou announces as he retrieved their groceries from around the corner. "We'd better go home so I can get dinner started."
"Okey~." As Hisashi agreed, he turned to face Rin with a polite bow. "It was nice to meet you Rin-chan."
"Eh?" She was taken aback by how familiarly he has just addressed her without batting an eye, and it proved to be difficult for her to rebuke him when he was genuinely being nice to her with his innocent smile. "No problem, it was nice to meet you too." Rin ended up replying as her cheeks redden.
"Sorry if my brother is being too forward Tohsaka-san." Shirou apologize on behalf of her assumed discomfort.
"I said it was no problem." She said with more emotions edging into shouting, then she held her right arm in contemplation. "Besides, you're lucky to have a brother like him by your side."
The black haired boy noticed the small twitch in the hand he was holding, a reaction most would have assumed to be nothing without actual context.
"Anyways, I'd better get home too." She decided to walk off in the opposite direction. "So I guess this is fair well." She looked back to them one last time.
"Yeah, see you then." Shirou gave a casual wave of his hand.
"Bye bye~" Hisashi on the other hand waved his whole arm cheerily.
With a smirk Tohsaka Rin left their vicinity with a sort of stride in her feet she didn't have before and disappeared into the distance. Though looking back one last time at three figures heading the opposite direction left her with a solemn expression.
Without further ado, the boys were finally going back home... with the addition the addition Hisashi held hands with. On Sakura's part, she reluctantly went along with the flow as long as she returned to her place before it gets too late.
"Once again, I'm having deja vu here." The redhead murmured under his breath as he looked back at the two.
"?" At the same time they peered back to him with inquiries gazes.
"Never mind, just talking to myself." He finished and continued to walk with all the bags in his hands, yet he felt like her missed something when talking to Rin earlier but could quite put together as to what that is.
The skies were painted slightly orange within it's blue, and the clouds started to look like cotton candy in Hisashi's blue eyed view. At first he was going to talk about it with Sakura, until he stopped himself upon seeing her.
Her body language and facial expression rarely changes in all honesty, and normally, other's wouldn't be able to tell either; yet he could see something in her lifeless eyes.
"Are you okey?" He decided to ask.
Slightly startled from her own thoughts, she stared into his gentle eyes, which stirred soft emotions in her from time to time.
"I'm okey." She added a nod to her response.
Eyes were the window to the soul.
Hisashi's quite insightful through a person's subtle action, though there is one other defining perception he exhibited as of late. He possesses an uncanny ability to ascertain certain things from the eyes themselves. Though rather than an accurate reading, it was more like a feeling of sensing what fragmented emotion the eyes would leak, and their are some emotions Hisashi couldn't grasp yet at his age. At most, he uses the simpler emotions closes in association to his understanding, and at the moment, he sees Sakura's eyes with an emotion he would call sadness.
From what he could deduct in memory, Rin and Sakura knew each other, but what their relationship entitled seemed to be something that the temperamental female wanted to keep under wraps. Sakura desired not to speak about it either, but it's evident how Rin's words affected her.
"Hmm..." his purposefully hum led Sakura's attention to him.
This might have been whimsical at best, but maybe it'll holds meaning to another.
"You know." He started. "When Rin-chan said you only go to the same school," he let the words sink in which dampened someone's mood slightly more, until he said "She looked kind of sad."
Sakura stood frozen in place which prompted the brothers to stand still as well.
Shirou, who was the only one out of the loop, verbalizing his confusion. "Is something up?"
The girl stood immobile, yet it did not take long for her violet eyes to lock onto his blue iris.
"Really?" She sounded hopeful, marginally so.
"Well, it looked like it to me." Hisashi said in a ponder.
In hindsight, this is a problem he has not personal been involvement in nor would he have reason to, but... he just couldn't leave it alone. Sakura being sad, Rin seems just as sad, their secretive relations to each other, and Hisashi being a curious child already and literally got the better of him.
"Rin-chan is pretty good actor I must say, but somehow, she seems to have a habit of not being honest with others; or herself." He appeared oddly confident in his speculation.
"Um... isn't that jumping to conclusions?" Shirou managed to pick up where the conversation was going and announced his skepticism. "We just met like less than an hour ago."
"Maybe, but I'm just saying what I think to the best of my understanding."
"Where's the logic in that? Actually wouldn't that mean you are misunderstanding Tohsaka-san's character then?" Rebuked Shirou.
"I think misunderstandings can be understood, same can be said about understanding being misunderstood." Hisashi smiled innocently, though there was a hint on amusement in there.
"..." His older brother on the other hand groaned while pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Hisashi... I know how you like to play games... but please I'm begging you, don't give me one of those mind games you got into lately."
Shirou would call it a mind game, but it was more of a play on words that Hisashi tends to formulate from time to time. It sounded like nonsense, but whether the little boy was being whimsical, serious or just cryptic was up for him to decide.
"Eh hehe~." The young boy giggled over his brother's bemoaning. "What I mean is that I think Rin-chan says one thing but means another thing which causes a misunderstanding, at least from what I could see and understand." He emphasized the last word. "Wouldn't you agree Nii-chan?"
With a pause, Shirou thought about his interaction with Rin. Now that he thought about it he, he noticed something that Hisashi actually pinpointed.
"Now that you mention it. When I gave my honest opinion about her, she kind of brushed off my comments as flattery... but strangely enough, she looked kind of happy at the time." He mulled.
He almost forget about the detail because of how irrelevant it was at the time. Now that he thought about it, he did find it weird how aloof she made herself out to be. Was she trying to act like a grownup?
Hisashi speculated for the most part and piece together reactions that were subtle for most people in general. Rather than thinking, he senses to a certain extent as to what's going on with those around him, and eyeing Sakura dithering state, this topic is already sensitive enough where he would need to tread more thoughtfully.
"How about we get going before it's gets dark." Shirou decided since the started reaching the horizon; plus the silence from the youngest children grew awkward for him.
A tentative nod from Sakura and Hisashi followed suit, they were a less than a quarter of the way to the Emiya residence.
While they walked, Hisashi leaned in close to Sakura that made the girl blink at him in puzzlement.
"So there's a secrete about you and Rin that you don't want others to know." He whispered in a hush voice.
An immediate reaction was eyes widening in shock and anxiety, for the boy to have figured out some part of the girls relationship invaded her with nervousness. Then, like the breeze in the summer, those chilling emotions was washed away by his encouraging smile.
"I don't know what your relationship is, but I'm not going to ask since you seem a little scared." There was some sorrow in his eyes when he saw her like that, and it made Sakura wander why he pays her such earnest attention when she feels that she didn't deserve it.
"But, there is something I can tell after seeing you two." He beamed her a wink. "The way that Rin-chan looks at you is the same way that Nii-chan looks at me."
This time Sakura continued walking instead of standing in place, yet now she was in a deep state of musing.
Bonds can be lost, but they don't fade into nothing, not completely.
Her mind was floating, a mixture of thoughts and feels scrambled into an incognitive pool, proving to be arduous to piece together a clear mindset. Then again, her situation is complicated.
Given away by one family to another, only to find out what her new family would do to her. Supposable, her old home is at most an enemy of the current residence, but her admiration of one individual of her previous lineage still retained to a certain extent.
And now, what was she suppose to feel? Saddened how things would never be the same again? Joyed that her feelings may not be one-sided? Perhaps give up that things were hopeless at this point?
Resigning to her fate was normal even if it was painful.
Then... the sense of competent of her situation threaten to ebb over her heart to those who threw her away.
Her father. Her mother. She did love them, but now something was changing that feeling. Creeping in with an opportunity of impulsiveness, a fissure in sight, attempting to invade.
It's seemed to be the best chance.
"Sakura-chan~"
The ripple of a water's surface resonated with the ataraxy of a sounding chime, a restart of the mind and emotions pushed back the sludge.
Sakura being brought back to reality, she now noticed how Hisashi called out to her. He smiled still, but the tilt in his brows indicated concern in those iridescent blue irises.
"Make sure not to get lost in your thoughts, okey~?" Ironic how Shirou said the same thing to him.
He meant it quite cheerfully, but he couldn't decern why he suddenly felt a foreboding sense of worry for her.
"Um.. ok." She sluggishly nod.
It almost felt like something else was surfacing within her being as an unknown started to slip with a malicious momentum behind it, whispering something that felt tainted to the core. It was close, very close to breaking something within the despairing girl, but the moment Hisashi's voice rang through her mind, the consideration and uncommonly empathetic tone soothed the disturbance in her heart. Then there were his eyes, the vibrant blues solidified an intangible sensation lead to an unfounded feeling of equanimity.
This is their second meeting after a few days of their last encounter, and the gentle enthusiasm from the youngest Emiya remains unfading. It does things to her, painful reminders, yet comforting moments followed. The wall she formed around herself seems to nearly tear themselves down in his presence and almost let loose "something", only to be rebuild with something else entirely, indescribable for her current maturity.
Sakura doesn't feel justified for receiving the kindness he unconditionally gifts to her, but when he smiles in her direction, how he brings her out of her self imposed alienation, it confuse her to the point of indecisiveness of her current dilemma.
"What should I do?" She asked to herself, but her lifeless eyes gazed to Hisashi.
His thoughts danced around the intent behind the question, but to be frank, he didn't have an answer.
He guessed that it had something to do with Rin at first, yet the way her question came out held a far more profound meaning than before. What it entitles has meaning to which he will find difficult to comprehend, let alone hear about it, so the full picture is obstructed to him at this time.
Perhaps instead of answering the large problem, he could dig on the surface in the meantime.
"Honestly Sakura-chan, I don't have an answer right now." He said the facts with a solemn smile.
Sakura slumped her shoulders in acceptance of his answer. He was as young as her and technically a normal boy compared to herself, plus her question was vague in itself so his reply might not even be on the same page as hers.
Yet... the boy continued.
"While I'm not sure if the problem itself can be solve, you could better yourself little by little until you can answer the problem itself."
"Better... myself?"
What did he mean by bettering herself?
"It was something that papa once mentioned when Nii-chan and I were together." He conjured a hum with a finger to his chin. "He once told us how people let themselves drown in what the world does to them, and how most tried to change the world in some way. Yet the more one try to push against the world, the more it will only keep pushing back until it crushes you."
As Hisashi's eyes glazed over like being in a daydream, Shirou recalled that memory when the three were relaxing and having tea. An atmosphere of peace and tranquillity having the day ended, a moment in time was a quiet bonding for the three males. His old man started rambling about philosophical thoughts which sometimes didn't stick in his memory due to how complicated it sounded at some points, but this particular topic stuck a certain chord that had meaning for him.
"It is important that we do keep track of what happens around us, but it's very easy to get lost in the tides we call reality."
Sakura paid attention in a blank trance, trying to comprehend how the boy of the same age reciting such complex reasoning.
"Our dreams are swept away, where we walk is dark, and are lost even when there's a path in front of us."
The way he talked, the way he sounded, it made him seem older than what his age entails.
"Yet... what's important is not the problems we can't fix around us, but maybe the problems we haven't solved within ourselves."
His mind wondered in the sight of the orange tinted sky, yet his thoughts were as crystal clear as the moon's reflection on a lakes surface. Immersed in a conjectured daydream shaped by memory.
A past and present never forgotten by the scars of the heart, a maze of distraction most souls lose their way in, yet a step must be taken to an unknown future.
"It's not easy, we never stop making mistakes, and sometimes we don't know what to do." He actually frowned at the thought, but he also accepted the fact. "But... we have to come to terms with those mistakes. If at one point we come to realize that, it could give us the room to move onto bigger problem that are in front of us. Well as papa said it in a similar way." He added lightheartedly before concluding his statement. "What I think is that people aren't perfect. We will always make mistakes, even regret our mistakes. But, learning from our mistakes and not getting lost at the same time could one day lead to become someone we want to be."
Complications surrounding the world we reside in, undeceive eyes reigned by life's obstacles, but perhaps the priority should aim not at the environment, but in our own origin.
This time, Shirou stood rooted in place. The whole time spent by staring at his little brother was written in astonishment. "You know Hisashi. I tend to wonder if you really are younger than me."
"I think being smarter and being older are two different things. Aren't they?" How in the world did he sound so sure yet unsure at the same time?
While boys could have discussed further, their attention was on the violet haired girl who internally mulled in a divided train of thought. Bettering oneself, finding oneself, moving forward, Sakura was feeling doubtful that the concept could be applied to herself when nobody taught her anything else outside of her grandfather's more than illiberal treatments of her existence. Cry's into hopelessness, hopelessness into impassiveness, pointless beyond recognition.
Yet as pointless as it appeared in her shattered psyche, it dimly touched a curiosity. If you can't change your surroundings, than solve yourself first? She already figured out the stance in her current position, but the way Hisashi announced his words felt viscerally different from her own conclusion.
What was the difference?
Her doubts may as well be useless... but... she didn't having anything else to lose by asking.
"What if..." Her timid posture held uncertainty, an empty shell whose thoughts acted on a whim. Though it could the wondering of his answer. "What if I'm trapped? What if I can't get out of it and I don't want to get others involved?"
A pregnant silence descended on the children just as they were a few blocks away from the Emiya manor. A very common problem most are subjected to, be it desired or not. A dilemma that has no definite answer, especially coming from her circumstances.
Answers like "consulting to others will greatly help you once you open up" or "you may never know if you can or can't get out of a problem unless you try" isn't gonna cut it with her, and Hisashi could vaguely tell that it is not a simple problem either.
As optimistic as the young boy was, he could see in her eyes how devoid of hope they emulated to such a degree that it pressed at his heart.
Shirou could also tell that something was up with Sakura at this point, but he didn't know what to do or how to answer when she clearly needed help. She asked a complicated question and remain wordless after that. How do you help someone who doesn't ask for help in the first place?
The Emiya brothers looked at each other in a type of silent deliberation. What they could gleam was how Sakura's situation has in part resulted in her capitulate nature. Most of it seemed to be out of her control as well with the way her question came out. Whether it was a family issue or other external factors remained hidden from them, and so they are at an impasse.
Red brows furrowed to the implication, and it made him feel helpless once again because he didn't know how to respond without sounded like an idiot putting on hot air.
Once his gold eyes met familiar blue eyes, he blinked. Hisashi, he still smiled, but it was riddled in forlorn consideration within his eyes. Frankly speaking, it's an uncommon expression rarely revealed on the normally serene face.
Hisashi looked towards Sakura once more and spoke with his hand rubbing the side of his neck.
"In all honesty Sakura-chan, I don't have an answer for that." His voice sounded like it was pushing out the words in struggle.
She expected as much. These boys haven't experienced what she experienced. They were still children, even if their incidences are far above abnormal, so underdeveloped in many ways that the world has yet to expose them to the elements.
As far as she knew, these were normal boys before her eyes. They are kind, far too much for her to deserve. They called her a friend, but in their first encounter, they treated her like family.
She didn't have any friends. She wanted to isolated herself from others. She didn't want to cause trouble for others from her own existence. She shouldn't be involved with them, because anymore than this would cause them harm. Even though she repeated it many times to herself... why... just why was his hands so warm.
"But that just means we don't have an answer right now." His positivity resurrected in gentle waves. "We just have to build the answer from scratch."
For once, the girl was visibly bewildered from his notion, and Shirou wasn't too far behind in reaction.
"As I said with Nii-chan before, we are young so we have time on our hands~." He softly pulled Sakura with him as his free grabbed onto his brother's hand. "No need to rush, just go at your pace. And if you want to take a break, then come to our place~. We did invite you after all~."
His cheer, his beaming light, his words came from the heart. Sure, Sakura was not privy with the truth of her life, but that didn't matter to Hisashi when the girl is currently in front of him at this moment.
"Is it... really alright." She asked once again. She still wasn't sure, trapped on a level beyond comprehension, was she still worth it?
"You know, you asked that once before." Shirou debuted in the flow of events taking place. "I'm in agreement with Hisashi. If you need help, or at lest someplace to hangout, our doors are always open."
These boys are kind, kinder than this ugly world.
"You are a friend of ours, and I bet Fuji-nee would be happy to again too~"
They regarded her so closely despite having known each other for short duration of being acquainted, yet childish bonds do have a habit of sticking closely to others once it starts. It was perplexing, but amiability acceptance made many things cascade in her mind.
Though possibly a wisp of respite at the very least.
Her hand squeezed just a little tighter than before, and she inched closer to the black haired child. Whatever was the meaning behind it was, regardless, it brought a smile to his lips and started dragging the two towards the sight of the entrance to their home.
"What are we having for dinner~?"
"I was thinking of making udon, and could you slow down for a bit!" Initially caught by surprise but the sudden run. "I thought you said that we didn't need to rush?!"
"This and that are different." Hisashi ambiguously said with a wide grin on his face.
Once again, Sakura was whisk away by the action of another, most prominently by a wondrously happy boy. But then again... for this moment in time, she did not mind at all being carried by his childish whim.
OOO
Dreams become wonders of ones own imagination or reminders of ones own memory, a reoccurring phenomenon of our unconsciousness.
But beware of the reverse spectrum. For dreams embodied wishes of the heart, nightmares lurks within the shadow of the soul.
OOO
Sorry for the delay, I underestimated how busy I would be these past few days. I'll try to update tomorrow, though I'm crossing my fingers on my own efforts. Until then, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and give feedback if you think I need it.
See ya later~