The Girl Who Shouted I At The Heart Of The World

by A.F. Oliver

Few get a second chance at living, let alone two or three. Rei Ayanami never knew what to do with the lives she had until it was too late. Getting another chance at living could mean a world of difference. After all, life is an ever changing thing and even the smallest of changes can reverberate across the world.

40. Interference Of Others

Chapter 40 – Interference Of Others

His awareness was beginning to return again. Gone was the warm embrace he had surrendered to. Where was he? His vision swirled with colors, greens, reds, grays... Shinji blinked his eyes rapidly, hoping that it would slow and stop, to allow him to understand where exactly he was. Purple... that was the color that eventually settled in his eyes. Slowly it began to take form. Eyes. A horn... He recognized these things. He recognized where he was.

He was standing on the catwalk in the Eva cages, fixed before the face of Unit 01...

It stirred an unpleasant feeling within him. Had he escaped it? Was he outside of the Eva now? No... no, he was still inside it. This was in his mind's eye, what he was seeing now, but it felt so real? What even was reality? Was it something at the end of a dream? He closed his eyes. Why was he in this place right now?

"I've summoned you because I have a use for you," his father's voice rang in his ears. Instantly Shinji looked up to the observation box high above the Eva's head. "Will you pilot it?"

Shinji glared up at the image of his father as all the feelings of pain caused by piloting ran through his mind. The feelings of resentment he felt toward his father reared their ugly head "Why should I?" he countered. "Why me?"

"Because you're the only one who can," his father replied, his voice booming in his ears.

He bowed his head, shaking with hurt and anger. "Why is that!?" he shouted bitterly. "Why does it always have to be me? Why do I always have to be the one to suffer!?"

"What about your promise to me?" a gentle voice spoke beside him on the catwalk.

Shinji whipped around to his right and laid his eyes on Rei. She was standing a few meters away on the catwalk, wearing her plugsuit, her arm in a sling and both her arms bandaged up and her eye covered by another just like she had been when he'd first me her. "Would you rather let me pilot it alone?" she asked with a frown.

Instantly his anger and bitterness dissipated, replaced with an intense sensation of guilt. Indeed he did remember that promise he made to fight by her side. He also remembered the last time he'd piloted the Eva, how he'd come back because of his connections to all the people at NERV but first and foremost his affections for Rei... The memory her Eva deploy despite missing an arm and a leg filled him with so much shame. He looked down at his feet. How could he have been so wrapped up in his grief over Touji that he'd allowed that happen?

"Would you prefer if I were to suffer alone?"

Even if it was all inside his head, hearing the girl he'd grown to love speak like this tore at his heartstrings. "Of course I remember our promise..." he murmured, unable to look her in the eye. "I promised I would stand beside you in any way I could. I don't want you to suffer at all... I don't want anyone to suffer..."

"But all Eva causes is suffering," a third voice spoke to his left. "You know that better than anyone, don't you Shin-man? You know that better than anyone... except me."

Shinji whipped around to his left to see Touji standing there wearing his typical tracksuit outfit. "I thought you were injured?" he asked, surprised before casting his gaze downward. "I thought I put you in a..." he trailed off. He just couldn't say the rest...

Touji took a step forward and Shinji gasped in shock as his left friend's leg exploded into a spray of blood and gore. "Touji!" he screamed instinctively. His friend fell forward and he rushed to catch him before he hit the ground.

Suddenly the world changed around him and Shinji found himself sitting by Touji's bedside as he lay there in a comatose state. "I'm so sorry..." he muttered. "This would never have happened to you if I'd never piloted the Eva..."

"But piloting the Eva is all you are, isn't it?" A snarky voice called out from behind him, one that belonged to Asuka. "Just like me."

Those words stirred a bitter and unpleasant feeling within him. He knew what she was getting at, that there was nothing deeper beneath the skin to him other than his role as a pilot. That wasn't true. He didn't want it to be true... "It's not all I am!" he protested, whipping around to face her. "I'm more than just an Eva pilot!"

Asuka, or... the vision of Asuka frowned at him and planted her hands on her hips. "Really now?" she chided. "Before you came to NERV you had no friend, no hobbies, nothing special about you at all! The Eva gave you everything you have!"

"So what!" he shouted back. "It doesn't change the fact that I'm tired of fighting and I'm tired of everyone getting hurt! I'm tired of getting hurt myself!"

"That's why you're still in here then, isn't it?" his father's voice rang in his ears.

The scenery around him shifted once again and now he was in his father's office before the man's desk. His father was seated there, a shogi board set up and ready for play, as if he'd been waiting for him to arrive so they could play. "The hurt, and the guilt, and the pain. That's why you're here," he stated with a soft smile, moving a tile on the board.

Shinji's lips contorted into a scowl and in a fit of rage he swatted the board off the table with the back of his hand. "I'm still here because of the people I care about!" he shouted in response. "I'm still here because of Misato and Asuka and Rei! I'm still here because I wanted things to be better with you!"

His father adjusted his glasses as if his outburst did not effect him at all. "So you only pilot the Eva for others?" he asked.

Shinji balled his fists at his side. "Yes!" he screamed. "What's wrong with that! It's only reason people care about me! It's the only reason why you even want me here!"

"You think that's the only reason I care about you?" Rei's voice rang in his ear.

The scenery warped and shifted once again and Shinji found himself standing before Rei in the kitchen of Misato's apartment. She was holding a cup of tea in her hands and regarding him with a somber expression. "You think that I only care about you because of the promise you made to me?"

He bowed his head. "I don't know..." he murmured softly. "I hope not... It would be nice if people cared about me because of who I am..."

"To find out then you need to open yourself up to others," Rei stated. "You need to show them the real you."

Shinji closed his eyes and reached up, digging his fingers into his scalp. "I don't know who the real me even is..." he muttered. "I don't understand myself. I don't even like myself..."

"If you don't like yourself then how do you expect others to like you?" a new voice asked him.

He turned around to see Misato standing there. He could feel the tears welling behind his eyes. "I don't expect them to like me," he replied. "I have to earn their affections. If I pilot the Eva then people praise me! If I pilot the Eva then father needs me!"

Misato folded her arms. "Then why did you run away?" she asked.

"Because it hurts!" he shouted. "It hurts so much! No matter how much I try, nothing I do is ever enough! I hate being in pain! I just want it to stop! I just want people to be nice to me!"

Rei stepped up beside him and placed her hand on his shoulder as Asuka came into the kitchen from the living room to stand beside Misato. "We are nice to you..." they murmured in unison.

He shuddered, tears falling from his eyes. "But how do I know it's real?" he asked. "How do I know you're all just lying to me, hiding behind compassionate smiles?"

"That's something you have to find out for yourself, idiot," Asuka stated.

"How the hell do I do that!?" he spat, glaring at her. "How am I supposed to know if any of you are being honest with me?"

"Do you feel this way because you're being dishonest with yourself?" Rei asked.

Tears streamed down his cheeks and before he could answer her the visions in front of him shifted. Instead of a set piece of scenery, images were flashing before in in rapid fire. First it was phone he'd stood in front of when he first came to Tokyo 3, then he was in Misato's car, descending into the geofront. This shifted to a vision of the note his father had sent him, the one he'd ripped up and taped back together. "Maybe I am being dishonest with myself..." he muttered.

"Then be honest," his father's voice boomed. "Why did you come to NERV to begin with?"

Once more, he was back in the Eva cages, standing before Unit 01, his father overlooking him from that damned observation box. His heart began to pound in his chest and he bared his teeth in anger. "I came because I wanted to tell you how much I hate you!" he roared. "I came to tell you how much I hate you for abandoning me! How much I hate you for leaving me after mother died!"

"Do you still hate me?" his father asked.

That question struck him. He remembered the time his father had visited him after he'd been trapped inside that Angel's body that led to another dimension. He remembered his words of praise. He remembered how the two of them had played shogi, how his father had shown him how... "I don't know..." he murmured softly, sniffling. "But I do know I hate that you made me pilot the Eva."

"Why?" his father asked.

His anger returned in force. "Why wouldn't I!?" he screamed. "Why wouldn't I dislike being thrown into something I'd never seen before to go out and fight to save the world!?"

"But you had seen it before..." his father replied darkly.

A vision came to him... no... a memory. He saw himself at three years old, standing a room with floor to ceiling windows. There were all kinds of wires running about the room and people sitting by computer terminals but most importantly, outside the window was the familiar colossal form of Unit 01 with all sorts of wires and tubes sticking out of it. He froze in fear as the realization dawned. "That's right..." he murmured at first, his voice rising to a shout by the end. "That's right. I remember this! I remember Eva! I'd seen it before and that was when I ran away! I ran away from father and mother!"

The world went black and Rei appeared before him in the empty void ahead, tears streaming down her face. "Do you want to run away now?" she asked. "Do you want to stay in this place forever, a place where you don't have to worry about pain anymore?"

Shinji covered his ears and shut his eyes. It was all getting to be too much... everyone, all the people he cared about, they were waiting for him. They were outside the Eva... but it was so comfortable when that voice and those hands had embraced him when he'd first become aware of his situation. Wait... he knew what that presence was. That presence felt like a mother... was it his mother?

Was his mother with him here in the Eva?

Yes! Yes that was it! That was why he felt safe right now staying in the Eva! His mother was with him in the Eva! That must be why she'd disappeared! She'd become one with the Eva to protect him, so he could pilot it, and if that was the case then... why would he ever want to leave? "I don't know!" he shouted. "I don't know anything anymore!"

"We all care about you Shinji," Rei spoke again, his hands over his ears doing nothing to block out her voice. "Won't you return to us?

The memories of Rei's smile, Asuka's laughter, Misato showing concern for him... Fine, he could accept that they cared about him in a genuine way, but the memory of what he'd done to Touji was still eating at him. That guilt would not abate. There was no way that he could make up for that, for nearly murdering his friend. It was best to just stay here where he didn't have to worry about anything... but that was just running from his problems and he'd promised himself never to run again. What was the right thing to do? What was the right thing to do!? "I don't know! I'll accept that everyone's feelings for me are real but what about how I feel about myself!? What If I don't deserve your affections!? I have so much guilt for all the things I've done and the things I couldn't do!" he shouted, his genuine emotion and thoughts pouring out. "If I stay here I don't have to face that and if I come back I do, but if I don't then I'll never see the people I care about again! What's the right choice!? I don't know what I want!"

"What do you wish for?" that soothing voice, the voice belonging to his mother whispered in his ear.

It was a question he didn't know how to answer. From the depths of his very being, Shinji screamed into the void...

---

Rei awoke in her bed with a start, sitting up in bed with a gasp. As soon as she took sight of her surroundings she began to relax. She'd been having a nightmare, one that had chilled her very bones. She'd dreamed of the coming salvage operation, that it had gone wrong at that Shinji had been lost forever. Worse than that, Commander Ikari had shown up toward the end and taken Adam from her in order to force her start the Third Impact. Needless to say, the terror and sadness she'd experienced in the dream had almost consumed her before she'd woken up.

She rolled out of bed and immediately checked under her bed to make sure that the case containing the embryonic First Angel was still there, despite knowing that logically it still would be. However, the fact that her first thought upon awakening from the nightmare had been to check if it was was telling. Even though she'd managed to acquire a lock for her door from Commander Ikari so many months ago, her apartment was decidedly less secure than it needed to be to house something as dangerous as Adam.

Nagisa could very well have overpowered her the previous night. He could have taken Adam from her and started Third Impact. She thanked whatever powers that were that he had no way of knowing she had it and that he seemed like he had no interest in carrying out that end, the end SEELE had given him a human body for. Then again... he could always change his mind. That would be something she'd have to contend with going forward.

But where could she keep it if not at her place of residence? She couldn't just give it back to Commander Ikari... also, there was the possibility that, like in her dream, he might change his mind and do exactly what he had in her dream. Ritsuko mentioning that the gift might have been an elaborate deception came flashing back into her consciousness. Perhaps she should entrust Ritsuko with it. She had no way of using it... yes. This was a good plan. Of course... she could very well just give it back to Commander Ikari if she decided to betray her but the odds of that were slim. It was a chance she would have to take if Adam was to remain secure.

But it was still a possibility...

No. No, she couldn't let that stop her. The benefits outweighed the risks. After seeing all of her memories, including the commander taking her life, there was no way that Ritsuko would betray her now...

She made her way to her bathroom and began washing her face and brushing her teeth as she did every morning, the whole time thinking of what she should do while at school. The prospect of leaving the First Angel's bakelite encased form alone in her apartment while spending the day there was worrisome, especially considering NERV security hadn't prevented Nagisa from accosting her in her own home. Who knew who or what might come prowling by her residence while she was gone? No. No, she couldn't just leave it here while she was at school...

At the same time she couldn't just bring it everywhere she went. The case was rather large and bulky and wouldn't fit in her book bag easily, at least if she kept her textbooks inside the bag along with it. The only way she could take it to school would be if she carried it separately. No doubt it would raise some kind of suspicion if she were to show up to school with a black and chrome steel case with an unknown object concealed within, therefore bringing it to school wasn't an option. Still, she couldn't leave it alone in her apartment. What could she feasibly do?

She exited the bathroom and began getting changed into her school uniform. She would have to leave it there under her bed if she went to class... but what if she didn't go to class? Commander Ikari probably wouldn't bat an eye if she skipped school, considering how often he used to pull her out of school for testing, at least in the other world... yes. Yes, this was the way forward. She would skip school today and go see Ritsuko. It would be better than dealing with Nagisa in class. Besides, she was going to have to deal with him in class eventually anyway. Yes, it was best to skip class and go see Ritsuko...

She gathered up the case that Adam resided in and placed it into her book bag, depositing her school textbooks onto the floor beside her bed before heading for her door. She would head to NERV and skip school. Getting her precious cargo to Ritsuko's office was worth it. However, it was the polite thing to call her and let her know that she was coming. She pulled her cell phone out of her bag and dialed the number to Ritsuko's office.

The phone rang twice before she answered. "Akagi speaking," she stated flatly.

"Do you have time this morning to meet, Ritsuko-san?" Rei asked, getting down to brass tacks immediately.

"Don't you have school today, Rei?" Ritsuko replied, a bit of playful chiding slipping into her tone. "Is something the matter?"

Rei thought back to the previous night and then to her nightmare. Most of the phone lines at NERV were recorded so she couldn't mention anything out of the ordinary... "It's urgent," she replied. "I'd like to discuss some things in person and I do not wish to wait until the school day is over."

There was a short pause before Ritsuko replied. "Alright," she returned, softly, aprehensively. "I'll email the school and make up an excuse for your absence. See you soon."

"See you soon," Rei replied, hanging up the phone without delay. With haste she made her way to her door, stepped outside, and began to trek to NERV with her precious cargo in tow.

---

Asuka sat in her desk with her chin in her palm, staring out of the window as the other students belonging to class 2A filed piecemeal into the room at the start of the school day. She was in a decidedly bitter mood considering how the morning had been. Misato had still been sleeping when she'd been getting ready for school and Rei hadn't come to the apartment to walk with her before she left. It was so frustrating and alienating, being so alone and distant from other people, or at least feeling that way. Everyone was pulling away from her and she hated it... but she was far too proud to reach out to them. Doing so would be simply pathetic on her part... she'd simply need to get used to being alone again. Besides, what use did she have for friendships if they would just end in betrayal or decision or heartbreak? So long as she had the Eva that was all that mattered...

At least, that was what she kept telling herself, over and over and over again...

"Hey Asuka..." Hikari's voice shook her from her thoughts.

Asuka sighed and glanced at her pig-tailed friend who was regarding her with a concerned expression. "Hey Hikari..." she muttered, returning her gaze to the scenery out the window in an attempt to dismiss her. She didn't want to explain herself for the previous day. It wasn't important enough for her to do so... "What's up?"

There was a short pause. "You know that Aida-kun and I aren't like... what you may have assumed, right?" Hikari nervously tried to explain.

Asuka sighed. Dismissing her was certainly going quite well. Such an embarrassing topic of conversation... "Sorry that I assumed something I shouldn't have..." she muttered.

There was another pause. "Are you okay?" Hikari asked, her tone sounding deeply concerned.

"Peachy," Asuka responded, not once returning her friend's gaze. Even if she was genuinely concerned for her she'd rather give comfort to that nerd than to her...

"I can tell you're really not..." Hikari pressed.

What was the point in opening up, really opening up, if she was going to be like everyone else was with her and abandon her as soon as she started talking about what really weighed on her? "It's fine," Asuka replied with a huff. "I'd rather not talk about it anyway..."

"Well... you can talk about it, whatever it is... if you want," Hikari replied.

Asuka sighed, glancing over at Shinji and Rei's empty desks. If she couldn't trust Rei enough to talk about the issues she struggled with how on earth could she tell Hikari about all the burdens she carried? "I'd rather not right now..." she muttered. "It's a bit much to get into right now, here in school..."

"Alright," Hikari returned. "I just want you to be okay... you haven't really been yourself lately."

Asuka snickered, finally glancing at her. "Look who's talking?" she countered with a sneer, perhaps a little too bitterly.

Hikari sighed, a deep frown cresting on her lips. "Yeah... I guess you're right," she replied somberly before walking away from her.

Asuka's sneer became a scowl as she returned her gaze to the mountains in the distance. Back to being alone... Perhaps it was for the best that Rei seemed like she was going to be absent from school. Yeah... with her absent then there was no one around to remind her of NERV or her failures or anything. Without Rei and Shinji around maybe she could have just one day where she wouldn't have to think about anything unpleasant...

"May I sit here, Soryu-san?" a voice she recognized distracted her from her depressed musings.

That's right... that weirdo Kaworu was transferring in today... great.

Asuka looked to her right and saw him standing right before the desk that usually was occupied by Shinji, his hand resting on the back of the chair, that stupid cheerful smile on his lips. Her eyes narrowed at the sight. "That's Shinji's seat," she growled. "Find another."

He took a step back. "Oh, well, then where should I sit?" he asked.

"Anywhere but there," she grumbled. "I don't care. Hikari will probably assign you one."

"Are you referring to the Class Representative?" he replied.

Asuka gave him a sarcastic look. "No, someone other than the class representative would assign your seat," she huffed. "Who do you think?"

Kaworu shrugged. "You could be referring to the teacher," he replied.

Asuka snorted. "As if I'd be referring to the teacher on a first name basis. Jeez, how dumb are you?" she returned with a smirk. It felt good to dish out a little sarcasm again...

Kaworu's smile wavered and she could see hurt in his red eyes. "Hikari could also be a surname," he replied. "And I'm not sure I deserve your hostility, Soryu-san."

Something about his genuinely hurt expression stirred something in her. Maybe it was because his appearance kind of reminded her of Rei or maybe it was because he really had been asking innocent questions but she actually felt a pang of guilt. "Sorry..." she huffed, looking away from him. "I'm just not in the greatest mood."

Moved past Shinji's seat and sat in the one behind it, that stupid grin of his returning as quickly as it had disappeared. "Well, I'm no stranger to hostilities being directed at me, but one's own mood shouldn't dictate how you treat others, yes?" he replied.

Asuka's glare resumed in and instant. "Maybe I just don't want to talk to you," she snapped.

Kaworu tilted his head to the side, a curious expression working its way over his sharp features. "Why?" he asked. "I've done nothing to offend."

Asuka turned away and folded her arms across her desk, resting her chin on her forearms. "Maybe I just don't want to talk to anyone..." she muttered.

She could feel Kaworu's eyes boring into her. "Do you enjoy isolation?" he asked after a pause?

Asuka dug her nails into the wooden top of the desk. What was with this guy? Why was he prying like this? "Sometimes," she huffed. "Sometimes it's nice to be alone when you want to be."

There was another pause before he spoke again. "I think I can understand," he replied. "I've known... someone else who was like that."

"Lots of people are like that," Asuka replied, still not looking at him.

"I suppose so..." he returned airily.

Asuka sighed. It seemed like she wasn't going to shake his attention so easily. Maybe there was something about his thoughtful musings that dissuaded her from wanting to rid herself of his attention... "That said, why are you still talking to me?" she asked. "What made you start talking to me today anyway?"

Kaworu chuckled. "Well, you're the only person here presently that I know," he replied. "I figured it would be polite to say hello."

Why was his laugh so... ugh. "Whatever..." she muttered softly.

Before he could say anything in response to that, the old buzzard of a teacher entered the room, prompting the few remaining students belonging to class 2A to rush to their seats. Hikari took her position at the front of the room and began with her usual commands for everyone to stand, bow, and sit down. It had been months but Asuka would never get used to that aspect of Japanese schools...

"We have a new student joining us from today onward," the teacher spoke after everyone had sat down. "Nagisa-san, will you introduce yourself?"

She glanced at Kaworu and he looked at her momentarily with a playful smile. "I guess that's my queue," he spoke softly to her as she stood up before going on to address the room with a slight bow. "My name is Nagisa, Kaworu Nagisa. It is a pleasure to meet you all."

Asuka had to admit... he was a little suave...

---

Ritsuko sat at her desk on the phone with Maya, reviewing the preparations for the salvage operation on her computer screen as they stood so far while waiting for Rei to arrive at her office. She couldn't help but grin as Maya briefed her on the status of the operation as it stood. There was a lot of good news to be had regarding it, news almost as reassuring as the news Rei had shared with her about Gendo the previous day.

"The final connections for LCL filtration and electron moderation have been installed on Unit 01," Maya stated over the line. "All that remains is calibrating the system to monitor the pilot's brain waves while he remains in a quantum state."

This was very good news. It meant that very soon they'd be able to get Shinji out of Unit 01, or at least attempt to. The knowledge that the previous attempt at soul salvage had failed still weighed heavy but the knowledge of Rei's memory from the other world indicating that this attempt would succeed was a good sign. However, that was Rei's original world vs the prime world, and considering the differences between the two, there was still reason to worry... "Estimated time until we can execute?" Ritsuko asked.

"Approximately ten days," Maya replied.

Three days. They were ahead of schedule by six days. This was a very promising sign. Perhaps her preparations had been faster because of her newfound sense of purpose or her sense of urgency, but regardless of what was the cause it was still a good thing. This said, if there was an opening to press or exploit, she was the kind of woman to do so... "I see," she replied. "This is a good sign. However, considering our pitiful state of combat readiness, is it possible to accelerate things even from here?"

"P- perhaps if we burn the midnight oil we can squeeze it down to nine, senpai..." Maya returned nervously.

One week ahead of schedule... that would certainly be a blessing if it was possible. She was going to go into a response that would elaborate on why it was so important but a knock on her door prevented that. "Do what you can," she replied. "Talk again soon, Maya."

"Yes senpai," Maya returned warmly.

Ritsuko hung up the phone and headed to the door, answering it with a gentle smile. Sure enough, it was Rei, as expected. She wasn't quite sure why Rei had wanted to come see her, especially considering how freeing yesterday must have been for her, but whatever it was, at least she could give her a bit more good news before their time together ended. "Morning Rei," she greeted. "Come on in."

Rei issued a small, polite bow. "Good morning, Ritsuko-san," she replied.

She ushered the blue haired girl inside her office and noted the brown school satchel on her shoulder. This was curious... why did she have that is she'd come here instead of school? She waited until Rei got situated in the folding chair she kept for her before asking. "So you decided to play hooky but brought your school bag with you?" she inquired as she sat down in her office chair, unable to resist a bit of a playful barb. Their relationship had evolved to the point where that was okay... right?

Rei's expression turned nervous and she visibly tensed in her seat. Ritsuko watched as she reached into her school satchel and pulled out the case that Gendo had given her yesterday, the one containing the First Angel's husk. "Can I... keep this here?" she asked softly, staring down at the case as she rested it on her lap.

Ritsuko was struck by that inquiry. It was certainly a wise choice on Rei's part, one that she'd been considering pressing her to make, but the reasoning behind that request was what truly interested her. "Why?" she asked. "My office is definitely a more secure than your apartment, but I'm curious as to what prompted this decision."

Rei fidgeting in her seat, regarding her with a nervous expression. "I'm not sure exactly how to justify it..." she replied.

Ritsuko smiled. "Well there's nothing to justify, it's a cautious and intelligent decision no matter what," she returned. "I'm simply curious."

Rei fidgeted with the case in her hand. "I... had a nightmare..." she murmured softly.

Ritsuko raised her eyebrows at this statement. "A nightmare?" she asked.

Rei nodded. "I... dreamed that Commander Ikari changed his mind," she replied.

Ritsuko ruminated on those words for a moment before speaking again. It wasn't a far fetched dark fantasy for Rei to have, considering Gendo's nature and how driven he'd been toward his single minded goal until his apparent change of heart. However, the memory of seeing him drunk and despondent weighed heavy... and speaking of that, she still hadn't spoken to him since then. Sooner or later she would have to confront him about that but... not now. Not until she had a reason to go see him and work out her still conflicted feelings for him. "I see," she returned softly. "I can understand why that would be concerning."

Rei stared down at the metal case once again. "So will you allow me to store it here?" she asked.

Ritsuko smiled. "Of course," she replied. "In fact, after you left yesterday I had the thought myself. It's... hard to trust that he's really changed."

"I agree..." Rei returned. "Though it is very pleasant to think that he has..."

Ritsuko reached over with an open palm and gestured for Rei to hand over the case containing the embryonic First Angel. Rei move to hand it over to her but hesitated. "You won't... change your mind in helping me... will you?" the azure haired girl asked, apprehension and anxiety dripping from her tone.

That caused her to frown. That comment actually hurt... "Why would I do that?" Ritsuko countered, unable to keep the offense completely out of her voice.

Rei flinched, glancing at her momentarily and then away with a frown. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend..." she murmured, placing the case in her hand. "I just... you still have feelings for him, don't you?"

Ritsuko took the case from Rei, opened the drawer on the right of her desk, and placed it inside before regarding her with a serious expression. It actually kind of hurt to think that Rei still didn't trust her completely, but then again, she understood just how horrible the Ritsuko Akagi in the other world had been to her... "Rei, look at me," she bade her.

Rei flinched but met her gaze, visibly fighting to retain a calm expression. "Yes, Ritsuko-san?" she asked.

Ritsuko reached out and placed both of Rei's hands in hers. "I promise you, I have your back," she replied. "I may have... a lot of things to work out with Commander Ikari, but I won't let that get in the way, okay?"

Rei's lips curved upward and she breathed a deep sigh of relief. "Thank you..." she murmured, hanging her head. "I'm sorry if I doubted you..."

Ritsuko let go of her hands. "I understand," she returned softly. "After what you went through in the other world... I understand that you might have a bit of doubt. I get it. If it makes you feel better though, I have some more good news for you though."

Rei perked up at that, her eyes brightening and her back straightening as she lifted her gaze from the tile floor. "What news?" she asked, a hint of excitement slipping into her otherwise default even tone.

Ritsuko smirked. Oh she was going to love this... "I was speaking to Maya before you arrived," she replied. "We're actually ahead of schedule for the salvage operation to rescue Shinji. Just under a week ahead of schedule, if we're lucky."

Rei's eyes went wide for a moment before a very wide grin took shape on her face. She fidgeted in her seat for a moment and looked down at her knees before speaking. "That is very pleasant news..." the blue haired girl murmured softly, her cheeks taking on a slight tint.

Ritsuko grinned. "I thought you'd like to know," she stated warmly. "So... should we succeed, have you thought about what you're going to say to him when you see him again?"

Rei bit her lip and fidgeted with the end of her skirt. "I'm not sure," she replied after a brief pause. "But I'll be sure to let him know that seeing him return makes me happy..."

Ritsuko nodded and her smile grew wider momentarily but ultimately faltered. Indeed, those two would probably take forever, dancing around each other until one of them actually made a move. Then again... that wasn't too unlike herself, keeping her feelings for Gendo buried deep inside, never willing to voice them. She was just as much of a nervous coward when it came to emotions as either of them... "Right," she returned. "Is there anything else you want to discuss?"

Rei looked at her with an expression that was difficult to read, fluctuating between a conflicted look and an apprehensive one. "Well, uh- I... Kaworu Nagisa... the final Angel is in Tokyo 3," she blurted out after a bit of stumbling over her words.

Ritsuko's blood ran cold. "Wh- what did you say?" she uttered in shock. She'd gotten into Gendo's files before and knew enough to understand that the Dead Sea Scrolls predicted seventeen. How could the final Angel be in Tokyo 3, right under their noses, and no one know? She knew from Rei's memories that in her world he didn't show up until after Shinji had been extracted from the Eva. Why was he here now? "There should be two Angels remaining. Why is he here now?" she inquired.

Rei shook her head. "I don't know," she replied. "He... I ran into him last night and we spoke about human nature among other things. I... I think he's trying to understand what it means to be human."

Ritsuko internalized this information. "What do you suppose his motivation is?" she asked.

"I don't know..." Rei responded softly.

Ritsuko nodded. "So... do you think he will choose to die by Shinji's hand as he did in your memories?" she asked.

"I don't know," Rei replied, looking down at the tile floor. "I cannot predict his actions. Considering how things have changed, it's hard to predict anything..."

Ritsuko nodded again, offering her a gentle smile. "Understandable," she replied. "I suppose... I suppose all we can do is be brave and keep moving forward."

Rei mirrored her nod but her nervous expression remained. "Yes, Ritsuko-san," she replied. "I would tend to agree with you..."

Ritsuko sighed. "So... we should probably start planning for the future," she stated.

"Indeed..." Rei replied. "What do you suggest?"

Ritsuko reached for her pack of cigarettes. This was going to be a long talk for sure and she needed to keep her focus. She really felt bad about smoking so much in front of Rei but during stressful times like this she couldn't help it. Perhaps, if they got lucky, won the war, and defeated SEELE, then maybe she would quit. For now though, it was just about the one thing she could do to keep herself grounded in times of stress...

---

It was lunch time in Tokyo 3 Municipal Junior High and the hour found Kaworu wandering through the mostly empty halls of the school, his hands in his pockets, his mind deep in thought. He found it odd that Ayanami and Shinji were not attending school, they were slotted in the same class as he was, but that wasn't what was occupying his mind. No, the subjects that occupied his brain were far more abstract in nature.

The previous day's conversation with Ayanami still weighed heavy. The previous night he'd been thinking a lot about what she'd said, about he'd projected his desires onto Shinji without regard to him. It was making him re-contextualize the entire relationship the two had experienced in his past life. Perhaps he'd been a bit too forceful and a bit too inconsiderate of him and that was why he'd never considered him a friend. It was certainly an unpleasant thought, all the more unpleasant because it was most likely the reality of the situation. Oh well... it didn't matter. Soon enough he'd be called upon by SEELE to fulfill his destiny once again he'd be done with it all.

And yet the desire to understand humanity a little better before that remained burning strong...

It was such an absurd situation that he found himself in. Then again, life itself seemed to be an absurdist fever dream. The lilin had such short blips of consciousness amid the vastness of the universe and they seemingly spent their meager lives trying their best to cope with existential horror of reality in whatever ways they could. He supposed that he was now in that same boat, truly, since he'd welcomed death and yet found himself alive again when he very much shouldn't have. But what could he do in the face of that absurdity? All he could do was make the best of it until the inevitable end he would have to go towards when the time came.

But that was just a miserable thought...

Perhaps that was the real reason why humans formed connections with one another despite the pain that it caused them due to their separate hearts and separate minds. Perchance it was a way to distract and shove the horror of mortality from the mind. It seemed like a valid hypothesis, one that might be justifiable to test, but how would he go about this? He knew so little of what it meant to be human it was genuinely upsetting, tiresome even. He remembered what he'd done to the kitten when he'd first met Shinji, something that he'd found entirely logical and justifiable but Shinji had found abhorrent. At his core, he was a being of cold logic... was he even capable of truly understanding human emotion? He supposed that being in a school, surrounded by so called peers, would probably be the most logical environment to try with the highest odds of success. After all, exposure is a good way to gain understanding, even if it was ultimately pointless.

He found himself on the roof of the school building and realized in an instant that he wasn't alone. Soryu was standing on the roof by the railing with her back to him, resting her elbows upon it and presumably staring off into the distance. She'd given him a rather cold shoulder earlier despite his attempts to be friendly but his curiosity about the whereabouts of Shinji and Ayanami. Yes, adhere to the old human saying; when at first one doesn't succeed... "Enjoying the view?" he called to her as he approached.

Soryu turned around momentarily and shot him a scowl. "I was," she grumbled. "Now leave so I can continue doing so..."

Kaworu was a bit taken aback by the aggressiveness in her tone. Both Ayanami and Shinji were far more pleasant to talk to, but of the three pilots she was the only one available to talk to. In addition, part of him genuinely wanted to understand her hostility toward him. After all, he hadn't done anything that should sway her opinion of him in a negative way, unlike what he'd done with Shinji when they'd first met in his part life. "I came to ask you a question," he stated. "Once you answer it, I will leave if you wish."

Soryu looked at him with an incredulous expression. "What do you want to know?" she hissed. "Come to ask me what's on my mind again? Sorry, but that's not gonna happen."

Kaworu smiled instinctively. It usually worked well in getting people to drop their guard and continued hostilities would not bode well. Then again, his smiling had done nothing to get Soryu to drop her guard so far... but it was still worth a try. "As curious as I am as to what occupies your thoughts and sours your mood, Soryu-san, I was actually curious as to the whereabouts of the First and Third," he stated. "Aren't they in the same class we're in?"

Soryu turned to face him again, regarding him with a puzzled expression that soon soured as she looked back over the railing. "Rei skipped school and Shinji's... he hasn't been to school for a while now..." she muttered. "Why do you ask?"

Well that answered part of his inquiry. He shrugged. Oh well, it would appear the reasoning he'd have to wait on. "I was hoping to meet the two of them," he replied, maintaining his phony, cheerful tone. Perhaps a joke would be a good way to break the ice? "That's all. Also, I can't help but wonder if all Eva pilots share your disposition."

Soryu finally turned fully around and let out a small puff of laughter. "Now look who's being rude..." she replied derisively.

He blinked in surprise, his eyes widening. Couldn't she tell it was a joke? "I meant it in jest..." he replied, unsure of what else to say.

Soryu's lips curves upwards and she let out yet another huff of laughter, this one more playful and less rueful. "Really?" she shot back. "I couldn't tell."

This type of verbal concealment he understood was known as sarcasm was not a thing he was used to... "So you could tell?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Sarcasm not your thing?" she retorted with a widening grin.

Kaworu shook his head. "Not really, no," he replied.

Soryu snickered. "So not only are you a weirdo but you're a boring weirdo," she teased. "Great."

So... this was the kind of game that she played. Something about it was... fun? "And what sort of weirdo would you like me to be?" Kaworu countered, his own grin widening.

Soryu clearly did not expect that response as she stood shocked for half a second before throwing her head back and laughing, resting her palm on her forehead, covering her eyes. "Wow you're strange!" she exclaimed between guffaws.

His smile finally broke. It seemed clear that he was wasting time trying to converse with her. "Well I guess I'll leave you then," he replied, turning to walk away. "I'm happy to have lightened your mood."

He got about ten steps before she spoke again. "Hey, wait..." Soryu called out.

He stopped in his tracks. This was odd... why was she calling for him to stay when she'd been so dismissive previously? Did it have something to do with the fickle nature that humans sometimes displayed? If so, it was a bit amusing. "Yes?" he asked, his grin returning as he eyed her over his shoulder.

Soryu looked vulnerable for half a second but that swiftly passed. "Look, if you want to stay and talk or just, like, watch the scenery with me, you can..." she grumbled, turning her face away with a scowl.

Kaworu raised an eyebrow at this. "Really? My presence seems to annoy you greatly," he returned.

Soryu rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you're annoying, but you're also kinda interesting," she replied.

Kaworu chuckled. "So first I'm boring and now I'm interesting. Which is it?" he countered. "You're very confusing, Soryu-san."

Soryu sighed. "Whatever..." she murmured, turning back to the railing and leaning her elbows on it once again. "Stay or don't. I don't care."

This behavior was entirely puzzling but instead of taking it at face value and leaving he was inclined to stay. He wanted to learn more about people and learn more about why Shinji had disliked him, or at least voiced dislike for him, in his other life. He stepped up a meter of two away from Soryu and looked out across the countryside. The scenery was rather striking and vibrant, at least he could enjoy that. "It is a beautiful view," he replied softly.

Soryu nodded. "Yeah," she murmured. "It really is..."

---

Asuka wasted no time in exiting the classroom when the day ended, heading immediately to the front entrance, to her locker to store the stupid textbooks that were far below her comprehension level. It would never cease to piss her off the fact that she had to attend school when she had a damned degree. She knew that Misato enrolling her in school was good for her, a way for her to make friends, but more and more she felt it reduced her. It reduced her to being just a normal person, someone who wasn't exceptional, someone beneath her status as an Eva pilot.

Except she was losing her edge as an Eva pilot...

She slammed her locker shut and drew a deep breath, forcing that thought out of her mind. She was going to bring her harmonics and sync scores up as soon as Unit 02 was finished being repaired and she had the opportunity to do so. The next battle she was going to make sure that she won and did so in a manner fitting of her status, her right.

"Hey," a melodious male voice rang out behind her.

She turned around to see that annoying Kaworu standing just a few meters away. "Hey yourself," she replied.

"Still in a sour mood?" he asked.

Asuka's scowl deepened. Yes. Yes she was still in a sour mood. She would admit that standing and observing the scenery from the roof with him in relative silence during lunch had been somewhat enjoyable, not that she'd tell him that, but she was indeed still in an unpleasant mood. "Yeah, actually, I am," she huffed.

His eyebrows knit up but his expression wasn't one of pity or sympathy even, rather it was more like curiosity than anything else. It was so strange... he was so strange. He was clearly intelligent but he seemed so... odd, but not in a way that was repulsive. Then again, Rei had been a bit strange when she first met her too... "And yet you still don't want to explain why," he stated. "Why?"

She bristled. There he went trying to pry at her feelings again... "What's it to you?" she hissed as she knelt down to change from her indoor shoes to her outdoor ones.

Kaworu shrugged. "Well, from what I understand, people enjoy talking about their problems in order to alleviate them," he replied, that stupid catlike grin of his unflinching. "Is that incorrect?"

The flat manner in which he delivered that sentence was something she genuinely found amusing. It actually managed to elicit a bit of a smile from her... "Yeah, sometimes..." she replied.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Well, if you'd like to speak about it, I'll listen," he returned warmly.

Asuka sighed, finished putting her shoes on, and stood tall. He might be a little pushy and a little annoying but he really seemed genuine... "You really want to know what's bugging me?" she huffed.

He nodded. "I'm not one to judge if that's what you're worried about," he replied with a smile.

"So you're saying you want to be my friend?" she asked.

He nodded once again. "Friendship is something that I'm not too familiar with but would like to experience," he replied. "I wouldn't mind being your friend, Soryu-san."

Asuka's lip twitched upward. She supposed she could trust him... it would be nice to have a friend who didn't know about all the drama and bullshit that mucked up her time in Tokyo 3. It would be nice to actually have a friend who wouldn't judge her or look at her differently because she was an Eva pilot... and considering how he'd been acting since he'd met her he seemed like he might be that kind of friend. "Alright then, I guess if we're friends we can talk about that kind of thing," she returned.

Kaworu tilted his head to the side with a perplexed expression. "Are we friends now?" he asked.

This actually made her laugh. As frustrating, interesting, and confusing as he was, he was a little bit funny... "Yes, you idiot," she replied. "If you really want to be, we can be friends."

His expression seemed to relax a little bit. "I could appreciate that," he replied.

Asuka laughed. He really was suave when he wanted to be... "Appreciate my friendship?" she jousted boastfully. "You should consider yourself honored! There's only so many Eva pilots in the world."

His smile grew. "Then I will appreciate it," he replied.

Asuka nodded, retaining her playful smirk. He was slick indeed... "Alright then," she returned. "But don't think you have a shot in asking me out just because we're friends now..."

Kaworu nodded. "I am completely content with friendship, Soryu-san," he replied. "To ask for anything more would be over extending myself."

Asuka's smirk softened. Something about the matter of fact and genuine way he said that was just... "You're... really not like other boys, are you?" she replied, more a statement than a question.

He shrugged. "I wouldn't know," he returned flatly, that stupid smile of his never so much as twitching.

Smooth... too smooth... it actually made her cheeks feel a little warm. "Alright then," she huffed, turning away from him and throwing her book bag over her shoulder. "You want to walk home together and talk about something?"

"Sure," he replied, stepping closer to her. "I don't mind."

Asuka started for the door. "Well, I'm not really in the mood for talking today," she returned softly. "Lets just walk together for now..."

"As you wish, Soryu-san," he stated calmly.

Asuka rolled her eyes. "If we're friends you can call me Asuka," she replied. "You know that right?"

He chuckled. "I'm flattered, Soryu-san," he returned.

Asuka couldn't help but smile. He really was a damned charmer... she'd give him that.

---

It was morning the day after she'd entrusted Ritsuko with Adam and Rei was feeling relieved in some ways but still very anxious in others as she went about her usual routine to prepare for school. The conversation that the two of them shared the previous day had allowed them to come up with a rough idea of what to do going forward...

In regards to Nagisa, the unfortunate consensus was that the best option for dealing with him was patient, distant obsersvation, but otherwise doing nothing to interfere with him. Interference on either of their part or attempting to force his hand might alert SEELE that something was amiss and that would bode poorly for both of them.

Speaking of SEELE and the best course of action for dealing with them was much the same, sit and await their next move. Rei had suggested potentially speaking with Commander Ikari now that he'd evidently switched sides, but that could potentially open a massive can of worms. Ritsuko had the luxury of seeing her memories in real time via the Magi's computer processing; explaining the situation to Commander Ikari would be next to impossible. Ritsuko pointed out that the commander would probably think both of them were losing their minds and have them sequestered. Rei was inclined to agree on that point. The commander was a man of cold facts, logic, and science. The nature of Yui-sama's gift simply did not fit into his worldview. Contrasting with this, it was entirely possible that he was formulating his own plan to take down the organization which sought to doom humanity to the void of Third Impact. Besides, if she and Ritsuko were to attempt to conspire with Commander Ikari it would also risk discovery by hostile forces. The more individuals involved in a conspiracy, the harder it is to keep secret... and exposure was something that she was unwilling to risk even though she and Ritsuko were both good at keeping things to themselves. With two Angels remaining before Nagisa the risks far outweighed the benefits. The committee could very well replace Commander Ikari, Ritsuko, or half the staff at NERV including herself. Indeed... it was best to do nothing... for now.

Another interesting point of the conversation was that there were in fact only two Angel's remaining before Nagisa. Considering how the world she'd inabited since recieving her newest lease on life had four additional Angels to the ones that had appeared in her original timeline, Rei seriously hoped they wouldn't be the ones yet to show themselves from her original world...

The thought of seeing the Tenth and Eleventh Angels once again was a thought that sent a chill down her spine. Asuka was growing ever so much closer with each passing day to the fragile mental state she'd been in when the Tenth had probed her mind. If that battle occurred again Rei had no doubts that it would turn out much the same as it had before, especially so if Commander Ikari kept Unit 01 under lockdown orders as he had then...

But what truly terrified her was the possibility of seeing the Eleventh again...

There had been many evenings and sleepless nights where she'd played the events of that battle over and over in her mind, thinking of what she could have done to win without sacrificing herself. Time and again she hadn't been able to come up with a tactic that would work. She remembered that the Eleventh Angel had been seemingly impervious to anything that an Evangelion was able to throw at it. All she could do was hope it would not appear and she wouldn't have to face that enemy again...

But what if it did appear? What if she had to self destruct again? She didn't want to die... she had no idea if her memories would be carried over into another body if she did. Would her consciousness be erased from the reality that she was in? Would she herself and her very essence be erased forever? The very thought shook her to her core...

She closed her eyes and drew a deep breath to steady herself as she knelt to put her shoes on before leaving. There was no use in ruminating on things that had not yet happened... It was best to think about the good things, like how Shinji might be returned to her earlier than in the original timeline. After putting her shoes on and checking that all the supplies she used for class were in her bag, she exited her dwelling and began the walk to Misato's apartment.

When she arrived, she rang the bell and waited as she usually did. As usual, she didn't have to wait too long until Asuka answered. What was puzzling to her though was that the fiery redhead seemed in a much better mood than when she'd seen her last. "Oh hey, wonder-girl," she greeted, a small smile on her lips. "How come you weren't in school yesterday?"

There was no way she could speak the truth... "I was feeling under the weather," she lied.

Asuka leaned against the door frame. "Well you missed a lot," she replied. "We had a new student transfer into our class."

Rei nodded in response to that statement, her lips curving ever so slightly downward. Indeed, Nagisa had transferred in... "I see," she replied. "That's interesting. What kind of person are they?."

Asuka sighed. "He's okay, I guess," she replied. "I made friends with him. Don't get me wrong, he's an absolute weirdo, but he's kinda cool, y'know?"

Rei's brow furrowed at the statement. This was a completely unexpected and unpleasant development. Asuka and Nagisa had spared each other no more than a few words in the other world from what she understood. If the two of them were becoming friends then that was going to be a problem going forward. At least it was better than him worming his way into Shinji's good graces... that would be the absolute worst thing possible for everyone. "I see..." she returned. "So that is why you seem to be in a brighter mood than when I last saw you?"

Asuka snickered and issued a lopsided grin that fell away into a darkened frown. "Yeah, I guess so," she replied with a shrug. "I'm still pissed about the last battle we fought. That's not going to change..."

Rei's lips twitched downward and she dipped her chin, her mind filling momentarily with the image of Unit 02 contorting under the Tenth Angel's psychological attack... "Well, we should probably head to school..." she murmured softly. "There's no point in ruminating on things out of our control..."

Asuka nodded, stepping out of the door frame and pivoting around to shut the . "I guess you have a point," she replied. "let's go..."

The two of them began their walk to school as they usually did, side by side in silence. Rei wasn't sure what to say to keep the conversation going or if she even wanted to. The distance between herself and Asuka seemed to be growing no matter what course of action she took...

Soon enough, they reached the school building. Rei began to tense up as she neared the front entrance. The intrusion of Nagisa into her home and the subsequent conversation with him was still very fresh in her mind and needless to say for many reasons she was not looking forward to seeing him again. However, if she'd be able to get him alone, it would probably be best to warm him to stay away from Asuka and Shinji, once the latter was returned. Then again... what could she reasonably threaten him with, at least without giving away her knowledge of his true nature or risking revealing her deepest secrets? The possibility certainly put her in a very tenuous position.

"Good morning, Soryu-san," Nagisa's voice rang out behind the two of them as if on queue...

Rei turning around to see him standing there, that conniving grin of his spread across his lips and his hands shoved in his pockets. Instantly her eyes narrowed just a little bit but he seemed to pay no attention to that. He was more focuses on Asuka than on her. "Morning, Kaworu" Asuka replied. "And I told you, you can call me Asuka."

His smile widened. "Perhaps I enjoy the formality," he replied.

Rei's eyes narrowed further still and her lips began to purse as she observed the scene unfolding before her. Seeing him act so friendly and unassuming was genuinely nauseating. The idea that Asuka already considered him a friend deeply unsettled her... "Are you going to introduce me to your friend, Asuka?" she asked, her voice coming out perhaps a bit harsher than she intended it to.

Asuka turned to her with a look of mixed surprise, offense, and bewilderment. "Uh yeah," she replied before turning back to Nagisa. "Kaworu, this is my friend Rei Ayanami, pilot of Evangelion Unit 00."

Nagisa's lip twitched as he offered her a respectful bow. "Pleasure to meet you, First Child," he stated.

Rei's harsh expression didn't waver. "Likewise," she replied with a nod.

"So, Ayanami-san, since you're also an Eva pilot like Soryu-san and from what I understand all three active pilots are in the same class here..." he continued. "Tell me, when will I meet Shinji Ikari?"

This innocent and ignorant act that he was putting on was sickening. It took every ounce of self control to keep her lip from curling in disgust, especially considering he was asking about Shinji. "I don't know," she replied evenly. "He'll be staying at NERV for the foreseeable future. The last battle he fought took a toll on him."

"I see..." Nagisa replied. "Hopefully not for long. I was very much looking forward to meeting him."

"Good to know," Rei replied.

Asuka put a hand on her shoulder. "Rei, are you alright?" she asked, a tense expression that showed perhaps just the slightest bit of offense taking form on her features. "You're acting kinda cold, don't you think?"

Rei's frown deepened. Perhaps she was being a bit too hostile all things considered. Nagisa, despite what he was, had come to her the other night with honesty and openness. Even if she didn't trust him and didn't like the idea of him becoming closer to her friends it was best to live at let live... for now. "I'm sorry," she replied, glancing between Asuka and Nagisa. "It's just... hard to talk about Shinji right now."

"So he's undergoing medical treatment, that's what you're telling me?" Nagisa asked.

Rei nodded. "Yes," she replied. It wasn't a complete lie but it wasn't the truth either...

Nagisa nodded. "I see..." he replied in a sober tone before swiftly putting on that smiling mask he wore so well. "Well, we should probably get to class. I wonder how many more anecdotes concerning life before the Second Impact our teacher will share today?"

Asuka snickered. "Probably none any of us haven't heard before," she stated.

Nagisa shrugged. "I haven't heard them before," he replied. "I quite enjoy them. It brings an interesting perspective on things."

Asuka laughed. "Once you have though they'll be as annoying to you as they are to us," she returned.

Nagisa's smile widened. "Perhaps," he replied, glancing at her. "Time will tell, wouldn't you agree, Ayanami-san?"

Rei nodded and forced a hollow half smile onto her lips. "Perhaps," she returned softly.

The three of them fell in step, Asuka beside Nagisa, and herself beside Asuka. Asuka and Nagisa began bantering about the classwork, mostly her talking and him listening, but Rei was swirling in her own thoughts.

Seeing Asuka and Nagisa already acting so friendly toward one another after having only known each other for a single day was deeply unsettling. Knowing what he was with no way to tell her was a serious issue. It made her dread what could very well happen in the future should Nagisa reveal himself. Of course... there was the possibility that he might take a different option, something similar to what she'd been working toward perhaps but she couldn't count on that. In fact, most likely the committee, SEELE, would have a contingency for that in place. Even worse, with Shinji coming back she was certainly going to have to prevent their interaction as much as possible, for everyone's sake... and perhaps due to her own feelings as well.

It was decided... at some point, should she manage to get Nagisa alone, she would have another chat with him and tell him to remain at a distance from both herself and her friends...

---

Ritsuko sat at her desk, twiddling a pen between her fingers as she read the latest reports on the computer simulated runs of the upcoming salvage operation. Everything was going as good as it could, both in regards to the operation and her part to play in stopping SEELE, but even so, a hanging thread remained untied and that bothered her greatly...

She still hadn't faced Gendo after that day she'd found him intoxicated...

The prospect of speaking with him was difficult and truly uncomfortable. Every time she thought back to that day she felt a mixture of excitement, embarrassment, tenderness, and nausea that she couldn't well define. It didn't help that she hadn't heard anything from him at all since then. He had always been a recluse but usually he'd check on the various developments regarding the scientific department every few days or so. Perhaps he also was suffering from some form of embarrassment due to the incident?

She snickered to herself. Such a strange thought, that Gendo might actually be capable of embarrassment, but then again, it was less strange than actually having seen him vulnerable like she had. Either way... sooner of later she was going to have to confront him again and come to terms with all her feelings for him.

But what exactly did she honestly feel for him? She'd aspired to win his affections and she'd always admired him and it had disgusted her when she'd discovered what his real aims were, what the Human Instrumentality Project was really about. However, the events of recent days had reignited all those pleasant feelings from days past. Knowing he'd actually changed his mind, that he himself had changed, and had done what he had for Rei was very heartwarming despite her lingering mistrust. Perhaps one days she would muster the courage to truly lay it all bare to him the way he made her feel, her anger, her resentment, her respect, and her admiration... her schoolgirl crush... but that day was not today.

Still... she needed to reach out. She needed to test the waters. Maybe it was her loneliness or her curiosity that determined that decision but she honestly felt that way and she had the perfect excuse to do so. Surely he would be happy to hear about the salvage operation being pushed forward, right?

She sighed reached for the phone on her desk. "Here goes nothing..." she muttered to herself.

---

Gendo was sitting in his office, staring out the window into the geofront beyond, taking in the scenery he'd observed hundreds if not thousands of times before. He was both bored and anxious, not a combination of emotions he enjoyed experiencing. Fuyutsuki was off dealing with some administrative tasks he'd assigned him which meant there would be no game of shogi to distract him from his thoughts. It had been around forty eight hours since he'd made perhaps the most important decision he'd made since summoning his son to Tokyo 3, his choice to alter the scenario irrevocably. He had no doubts that he'd made the right choice but... now that the excitement of handing Adam over to Rei was out of the way certain anxieties had begun to fester.

Though things had been been given closure with Rei for the time being certainly there was more to do. He had to be more attentive with her, perhaps speak with her more often, perhaps even offer to upgrade her place of living. That would be a herculean task, as doing that with his biological child was difficult enough, and speaking of Shinji, he still had no idea what he was going to say to him once the salvage operation was performed. The last few conversations that the two of them had shared hadn't exactly been the most pleasant. Part of him wondered if he would choose to leave NERV again after he was physically reconstituted. That would certainly make thwarting SEELE in the future much more difficult. Of course, that was even if the salvage worked. The previous time it had been tried it had failed, which was why he was now in the situation he was currently in... but then again, that was Yui's doing, not a failing of science...

Speaking of science, he hadn't spoken with Dr. Akagi since... that incident a week or so ago. He heaved a heavy sigh at the vague memory of it. How could he have let himself act so foolish? Sooner or later he would have to face her in person and the ensuing awkwardness that would most likely arise. As unfortunate as it was, he couldn't remain a hermit in his office forever. Connecting with other people was hard, something he'd never been good at, but he had to at least try, especially since it was what Yui would have wanted.

It was then that the phone in the upper drawer of his desk began to ring. Most likely it was Fuyutsuki letting him know about any new happenings in the organization or at worst the committee calling him to harass him about something. Time to do his job... He swiveled around and unlatched the drawer and answered the phone. "Ikari speaking," he spoke.

"I have some news for you regarding the salvage operation," Dr. Akagi's voice sounded in his ear.

His eyes widened slightly. What could this mean? Was it good news or bad news in regards to his son? Also, he was surprised that she was speaking so evenly after what had transpired between the two of them. This was their first time speaking since then after all... "Elaborate," he replied.

"The preparations are going more smoothly than anticipated," she returned. "If our luck continues to hold, we should be able to perform the operation a week ahead of schedule."

This was very good news but it also sparked anxieties. It meant that he had less time to prepare exactly what he'd say to his son when he saw him again... "Very well," Gendo replied. "That's good."

"Indeed," Dr. Akagi stated softly, an air of nervousness slipping into her voice. "I... I thought you'd want to know."

So came the awkwardness he'd expected. He found himself thankful that they were speaking over the phone rather than in person. "I am glad you shared this with me," he replied. "Let me know of any further developments."

"I shall," Dr. Akagi responded after a brief pause, this time sounding a bit cold. "That is my duty after all, isn't it?"

Gendo frowned. Perhaps he should be the one to address what happened? He was the one at fault as it were... no. No it was just too difficult, too embarrassing... "Indeed it is," he replied softly. "Take care, Dr. Akagi. Inform me of any new developments going forward."

"Alright," she returned, sounding honestly a bit deflated. "I shall. Take care, commander."

No, he had to. It just wasn't right. Clearly it was eating at her as much as it was him. "Wait..." he blurted out but further words died in his throat. It was just so shameful...

"Yes?" she replied, her voice sounding both curious and nervous.

He sighed. No turning back. No more running away from things like this... "Listen..." he returned. "About... the other week. I-"

She cut him off. "There's nothing you need to say," she replied flatly, evenly, before slipping into an almost somber tone of voice. "You were drunk. There's nothing to be sorry about..."

Gendo closed his eyes. This was definitely not the easiest conversation he'd ever had... "It was still a breach," he returned. "Behavior like that is... unbecoming for a man in my position."

There was a pause. "For what it's worth... it was worrisome seeing you like that," Dr. Akagi replied.

Gendo's eyes widened. Someone other than Yui had actually been concerned for him? This was strange... he wasn't sure what to make of it. "I caused you worry?" he inquired.

"Yes," Dr. Akagi replied, sounding a bit nervous. "Worry that you might be... unable to lead."

His lips curved downward. Some concern was better than none... professional or otherwise. "I would never allow that," he returned. "But thank you for your concern none the less."

"Very well..." Dr. Akagi replied. "I'll inform you of any further developments. Take care, Commander Ikari."

"Take care, Dr. Akagi," he returned before ending the call.

Gendo slumped back in his seat and stared up at the tree of life emblazoned upon the ceiling of his office. Indeed, connecting with other people was truly not his strong suit...

---

Class was dismissed for lunch. Upon that announcement immediately Rei stood from her desk and made her way to the hallway, not even bothering to tidy up her school supplies. She had no need to stick around in class for lunch as well... frankly the group that she'd enjoyed eating with in the past few months was completely fragmented after Suzuhara's injuries and Shinji's entrapment aboard Unit 01. Besides, she didn't eat lunch at school anymore, she only really had when Shinji would bring her a meal. Instead of sitting in class and wait for lunch to be over though, for the past week or so she would just wander about the halls and maybe try to relax on the roof, usually to no avail. However, today was different. Today she had a plan to enact or at least attempt to accomplish...

Immediately after exiting the classroom she posted up just outside of the entrance and waited for Asuka or Nagisa to appear. If things played out how she hoped then Asuka would probably leave the classroom first and then she'd have a chance to speak with Nagisa. Indeed, it was probably best to talk to him instead of Asuka as Asuka was quite stubborn and she didn't want to risk revealing anything that could cause problems. She'd come to far and kept her secrets for too long to throw caution to the wind now. She couldn't risk Asuka pushing her away or worse blabbing her secrets to someone. That would be a recipe for intervention, whether from Commander Ikari or SEELE.

She barely had time to process that thought before Asuka appeared in the hall beside her. "Hey, Rei, what's up?" she asked. "How come you're standing there with that look on your face?"

It was then that she realized that she'd been scowling down at the tile floor with her arms crossed. "I'm fine," Rei replied, forcing herself to relax her expression. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Like what?" Asuka pressed, stepping over to her with a look of concern.

Rei thought for a moment, trying to think of a plausible lie, ultimately concluding that speaking a different truth was the best way to obfuscate. "I... got a call from Dr. Akagi last night," she replied. "She told me that the salvage operation for Shinji is ahead of schedule."

Asuka's brow furrowed. "Shouldn't you be happy about that?" she asked. "I mean, they're gonna bring him back earlier than they thought so isn't that a good thing? Also, why would Dr. Akagi call you about that?"

Rei flinched slightly at the last question and hoped that her explanation would satisfy. This was already going worse than she'd hoped. If Asuka kept digging there was no way she could keep it together, not with the amount of emotional stress she'd been under... "I've been talking with her now and then, ever since Shinji's been gone," she replied softly. It was a half truth at the least... "I've been eager to know the progress on whatever she's been planning to bring him back..."

Asuka nodded. "That makes sense," she replied, her voice trailing off. "Especially considering... you know..."

Rei's brow furrowed. "My... feelings for him?" she asked quietly. It was still somewhat difficult to talk about... or think about.

Asuka nodded again. "Yeah," she returned. "That..."

There was an awkward tension that seemed to spring up between the two of them with those words. It was clear to Rei that Asuka was a bit uncomfortable talking about that matter with her. Was it possible that Asuka carried or at one point had carried similar feelings for Shinji? If that was the case it would certainly explain the awkwardness and how she'd started growing distant even before he was absorbed into Unit 01... "It isn't something I can help..." was all she could think to say.

"Soryu-san, Ayanami-san, would you like to eat together on the roof?" a voice interjected.

Rei turned her head to find that Nagisa had now emerged from the classroom and was standing a meter or two away from the two of them, that sickeningly mischievous grin on his pale face. "Sounds like a plan," Asuka stated before she had a chance to reply. "What do you think, Rei?"

Rei glanced at her friend before looking down at the tile floor. It would appear that she wasn't going to get the chance to speak with Nagisa and attempt to discourage him from forging a friendship with Asuka. The thought of the three of them sitting together and eating pleasantly as if he wasn't a harbinger of doom was sickening. She would much prefer spending as little time in his presence as possible... but there was another reason for that, one that was only just now coming to her.

Guilt...

Rei remembered how agonized Nagisa had been when they'd talked at her apartment. She remembered how filled with existential angst he'd been concerning life and humanity, things she'd all dealt with herself. Even if he was a monster who would need to be dealt with someday soon... he was still a person with a mind and a soul. She understood that he needed connections as much as anyone, even if those connections might end up being warped. Then there was Asuka... she was spiraling fast and Rei knew it. If the coming battle against SEELE were to be won she'd need to be in a better place mentally. Perhaps... perhaps it was best to simply observe from a distance for now. If she intervened too soon it could cause irreparable damage, especially if she intervened before the Tenth Angel's reappearance. Asuka would need any support she could get if that event happened again... However, if she intervened too late then much the same as the events that occurred in the other world would manifest again, except Asuka would legitimately have reason to hate her. If Shinji were around it would be so much easier... but she couldn't even count on him coming back, not fully... not yet... "I'll pass," Rei replied, lifting her gaze back to the two of them. "I'd prefer to be alone today..."

Asuka's brows knit up. "Why's that?" she asked, sounding disappointed.

Rei's frown deepened. She didn't want to explain herself. Wasn't she allowed to simply be away from others? "I'd just prefer to be," she replied. "Sorry, Asuka..."

Asuka mirrored her expression. "Okay..." she returned. "Enjoy your lunch, I guess..."

With that, Rei turned on her heel and began walking away from the both of them, only stopping when she'd exited the front of the school and entered the courtyard outside. Once there she collapsed with her back against the double doors and slid to the ground, resting her forehead in her palms. What was the right thing to do? What was the right thing to say? Why was it so hard to choose? Why was it so painful to do what was necessary? She didn't like feeling this way. She hated it. She hated it so very much...

No. No she had to intervene sooner rather than later... but how? She couldn't accost him at school without risking Asuka being privy to it. Rei sat and thought for a quite while, pondering exactly how to proceed. Perhaps she could discretely leave a note on his desk and have him contact her after school, that way there wouldn't be the chance for Asuka to interrupt their conversation... Yes. Yes, this was the way to go about things.

Rei stood up, turned around, and opened the door to the school, heading back into the building. Swiftly she made her way to classroom 2A. Upon reaching her desk she grabbed her notebook and a pencil before scribbling a note with her cell number and a short message stating she simply wanted to talk. After that she folded the note to minimize its physical size, got back up, and dropped it on Nagisa's seat as she walked past. Thankfully the classroom was almost empty so being discrete was easy. Now all that was left was to play the waiting game... and hope that this was the best course of action.

After all, with time running out any misstep on her part could lead to disaster...

---

"Sorry if Rei offended you back there," Soryu stated as the two of them ascended the stairs to the roof. "She's just a little quiet and awkward at times."

Kaworu frowned. He knew the that wasn't the entire truth of the situation. Considering the context of the other day when he'd sought her out, which was still certainly fresh in her mind, there was no doubt that she simply didn't wish to be near him... "I can understand," he replied. "I'm not offended."

"Okay, good," Soryu returned, pushing the door to the roof open. "She's my closest friend so it would suck if the two of you can't get along..."

Kaworu nodded, following her onto the roof. "I agree," he replied. "That would pose potential problems."

Soryu sighed, a frown of her own taking shape on her features as she looked back at him. "Yeah," she muttered, crossing her arms and facing the countryside in the distance. "It definitely could..."

Kaworu tilted his head to the side, observing her with a curious eye. It seemed like she was troubled by something, but why? This was interesting and... concerning? Was he actually feeling concern for her? "Is there something bothering you?" he inquired.

Soryu sighed and turned around. "I guess..." she replied. "I just... I don't have that many friends. Losing Rei would really suck."

Human connection was certainly an interesting and painful thing... "I could imagine that would be difficult," he returned, finally losing his grin, unable to keep the facade.

Soryu scoffed. "Yeah... especially since Shinji's been..." she trailed off, seemingly unable to to finish her statement.

This was most curious... "Since the Third Child has been what?" he asked, choosing his words carefully. What sort of medical treatment was he undergoing?

Soryu stamped her foot and glared over her shoulder at him, startling him slightly. "Why should I tell you?" she huffed. "We barely know each other..."

"That's true, we don't know each other well, but I won't judge," Kaworu replied. Indeed. He simply wished to understand before the end...

Soryu sighed. "Maybe another time," she replied. "Once we've gotten to know one another better."

Kaworu nodded. It was best to drop it for now. He'd learned from Shinji in the other reality that being pushy often got him nowhere... "I understand," he replied. "I don't want you to feel pressured."

Soryu smiled. It was honestly kind of striking... had Shinji ever smiled at him? It was strange... was this what appreciation felt like? "Good. Let's talk about something else," she returned softly before turning away and looking up at the sky. "The clouds are pretty today, aren't they?"

To his knowledge clouds were simply clouds. What was so special about them? "They are?" he said, more a question than a statement.

"Yeah," Soryu replied, pointing up at the sky. "That one kinda looks like a cat, doesn't it?"

Kaworu looked up in the direction that she was pointing, gazing up at the clouds above his head. Indeed the cloud looked very similar to a cat's silhouette. It reminded him quite a bit of the kitten he'd euthanized in the other world. Looking back at that incident... had he made the right choice? Considering how much care people had... might there have been another person who could have come along and taken care of that cat? "Yeah... it does look a bit like a cat..." he stated softly.

There was a long pause before Soryu spoke again. "Hey... I gotta ask you something," she spoke. "It's... kinda weird..."

Kaworu looked over at her to see her still staring up at the sky. "What?" he asked. "What would make it strange?"

Soryu chuckled, turning around to face him with a bit of a playful smirk. "It's stupid, honestly," she replied. "Don't laugh, okay?"

"I won't," he returned earnestly, studying her movements with innocent curiosity.

Soryu sighed, her smile remaining. Wasn't that a bit of a contradictory emotional reaction? Most interesting... "Are you and Rei related at all?" she asked.

Kaworu blinked in surprise. That wasn't a question he was expecting... "Why do you ask?" he inquired reflexively.

Soryu snickered and planted her hand on her hip. "I mean, the two of you look kinda similar," she replied. "The both of you have pale skin and red eyes and you're both a little strange in your own right, y'know? Are you like, distant cousins or something?"

Kaworu would admit that they did have some physical characteristics that were similar. They both had pale skin, red eyes, and hair that was unnatural for the average human being. They also shared genetics with a progenitor life form, though not the same one... "No," he replied. "If we are then I don't know of the relation. After all, I only met her today."

Soryu sighed, once again turning away from him and folding her arms. "See, I told you it was a stupid question," she grumbled. "Forget I even asked."

Kaworu stepped closer to her, forcing that grin of his back onto his lips. Smiling was a good way to let people know you accept them, right? He'd always done it as such... "I'm not offended or disturbed," he replied. "I understand your curiosity. Why do you insist on me forgetting you levied a harmless inquiry?"

Soryu turned to him once more a soft expression on her face. "You're really not like other people, are you?" she asked in response.

"I never really thought about it," he replied honestly. "Why do you say that?"

Soryu looked up at the sky again. "You don't seem to let things bother you the way most people do," she returned. "I kinda envy that..."

He frowned. There was precious little about his situation as a whole that was enviable... "Whatever you say, Soryu-san," he responded after a pause.

Soryu groaned. "I told you, you can call me Asuka like everyone else does," she replied glancing over her shoulder at him.

All things considered, how being open and attached with Shinji had backfired so spectacularly in the other world, he was apprehensive. If anything, the process of death and rebirth he'd been subjected to due to his own ego surrounding his choices, he'd grown a bit cautious. Besides... if he was doomed to die anyway, what was the point in getting all that close with others. He'd caused Shinji enough harm in the first world... "Perhaps someday, Soryu-san," he replied, forcing his cheerful smile. "Perhaps someday..."

Soryu sighed and looked back at the clouds in the distance. "Whatever..." she muttered, walking over to the railing and leaning against it. "At least it's a nice day out, huh?"

"Yes," he replied, stepping over to rest against the railing a meter or two away from her. "It is rather pleasing..."

Lunch hour continued with the two of them making small talk, mostly consisting of Soryu bringing up menial topics and him doing his best to agree with her assertions on said topics. It was honestly surprisingly enjoyable. It was also different from his interactions with Shinji had been in his previous life. In those conversations by and large he'd led the conversation, pushed the interaction, made the first move. Here he was much more a passive participant, perhaps due to Soryu's force of will. Either way... it was actually pleasant and enlightening. Learning the foibles of how people act when they feel comfortable was thrilling. It actually made him feel... happy.

However this respite from the boredom of classroom learning couldn't last forever. Indeed, he would agree with Soryu's off the cuff assessment of schooling after only experiencing it for just over a day so far. He returned to his desk as lunch ended but noticed a folded piece of paper sitting in his chair. Strange... what could it be? Only way to find out... he sat down and unfolded it. Instantly his stomach tightened up.

It was a note from Ayanami asking to speak with him after school. He glanced over his shoulder to find her looking at him with an unreadable expression. Whatever it was that she wanted to speak with him about it probably wasn't anything pleasant if their previous conversation when he'd sought her out was anything to go by. Most likely it had something to do with his interactions with Soryu. Yes... it couldn't be anything else. Did she have a problem with the two of them talking? He glanced over his other shoulder to regard Soryu who was looking at him with a curious expression, as if she was confused as to what was going on. Upon seeing that look, he turned his attention back to the blackboard, his default grin completely melted into an uneasy frown.

No... it wasn't that she had a problem with him... he, himself, and his very existence, was the problem...

---

When class ended Asuka stood from her seat and made her way to Rei's desk as her blue haired friend packed up her things. She'd genuinely been acting quite odd for the past few days and she just couldn't place why. Maybe it had something to do with that meeting she'd had with Commander Ikari two days ago? "Hey, are you okay?" she asked.

Rei's lip twitched and she nodded. "I am," she replied.

Asuka frowned. No, she could tell that she was dealing with something. Yeah, they'd both been having a time recently, but she didn't want them to pull apart further... "Come on, I know you've got something on your mind," she pressed. "By the way, I'm sorry I didn't ask, how did that talk with Commander Ikari go the other day?"

She watched as Rei visibly flinched but kept putting her school supplies in her school satchel despite it. "It went well," she replied, standing from her desk and meeting her gaze before glancing away out the window with a sober frown. "We... spoke about my sync scores, not much else..."

Asuka tilted her head to the side. Sometimes Rei was just so difficult to understand... "I don't get it," she stated. "You seem like you're in such a bad mood even after Dr. Akagi told you about the operation being moved up. What's really going on?"

Rei's frown deepened. "I've just got a lot on my mind, Asuka," she murmured. "That's all..."

Now it was Asuka's turn to frown. Whether it was just in her head or not it really felt like Rei was pulling away from her and that was something she really didn't want. Sure she'd made a new friend in Kaworu but Rei was her best friend... that wasn't something she took lightly. "Okay," she returned. "Just know you can talk about it if you want..."

Rei nodded and issued a smile that Asuka could sense was as much to reassure herself as it was to reassure her. "I know," she replied. "Thanks, Asuka."

Asuka's frown deepened. "Okay then..." she replied, pausing for a moment. "Do you want to walk home together?"

Rei nodded. "Sure..." she replied. "I don't mind..."

"Soryu-san, are we walking together again?" Kaworu's voice interjected into their conversation.

Asuka sighed. Him and his stupid Japanese formalities... "I told you, you can call me Asuka, dammit!" she huffed. "And yeah, we can walk together if you want."

Kaworu turned to Rei. "Will you be joining us as well, Ayanami-san?" he inquired.

Asuka watched as her closest friend looked between the two of them and nodded slowly. "I do not mind," she murmured in that even monotone she'd sometimes speak with. "Though I am still feeling a bit tired from yesterday. I don't wish to stay over at Misato-san's for an extended period of time."

Asuka's lips curved downward bus she nodded in response all the same. Rei had just gotten over a bug of some kind so it was understandable. "That's fine," she replied. "Maybe we'll catch up on some games another day?"

"Another day," Rei replied, a hint of a smile emerging on her face for half a second.

There was some sort of awkwardness lingering in the air that she couldn't quite place but she supposed it wasn't important. Probably it was something that would go away as soon as they got to walking. "Right then," she returned, turning and starting toward the door. "Let's get going."

Her two friends followed behind her and fell in step beside her once the three of them entered the hallway. Rei ended up on her left side and Kaworu to her right. Neither of them spoke at all even as the three of them left the building. Well it seemed like it was up to her to make conversation, but what to talk about? "Hey, what was that note you were reading at the end of lunch?" she ultimately broke the silence with, turning to Kaworu with a smirk. "Did some girl give you a love note?"

Kaworu laughed. "So that's what it was..." he mused with a grin. "I discarded it. I don't even know who it was from."

Asuka raised an eyebrow. Most boys would be jumping for joy knowing that some girl, any girl, was into them. "Why would you do that?" she asked. "Most guys would be excited that someone confessed to them."

"Well, as you've so eloquently put it, I'm not like most guys," he replied, regarding her with that stupid, charming smile of his.

Asuka felt heat in her cheeks. This was weird... "Yeah, you're really not..." she murmured.

"Are you enjoying your first week in school here, Nagisa?" Rei suddenly asked.

Oh yeah, that was right, Rei was with them too. Why was she getting so distracted? Asuka stared off ahead down the road... "Well enough," he replied cheerfully. "Though I will agree with Soryu-san that the teacher does get distracted with tales of life before Second Impact a bit too much."

"I see..." Rei replied evenly. "I guess that's good."

The three of them passed another intersection and it was at this time that Kaworu halted his walk. "Well, my residence is that way," he stated, raising a hand and pointing down the road in a direction other than that of Misato's apartment. "I'll be heading off now."

Asuka nodded. "Alright then, see you tomorrow," she replied.

With that Kaworu stuffed his hands in his pockets and began walking away in the direction he'd pointed. Asuka found herself unable to look away from him for some strange reason. She was hoping they'd be able to keep talking for a bit. He was such a good listener...

"Asuka," Rei spoke up, shaking her from her thoughts. "Are you alright?"

She shook her head and turned to face her blue haired friend. It was stupid to think about him like that, they'd only just met. "Yeah..." she murmured.

"Shall we keep walking?" Rei asked.

Asuka nodded. "Sounds good..." she murmured.

The two of them continued their walk together like they did most days. Asuka couldn't help but feel a sense of strain and awkwardness hanging in the air. The silence that hung between herself and Rei just felt so strange. "Are you sure you don't want to stay for a little bit?" she asked.

Rei nodded. "I'm certain," she replied. "I'm very tired. I hope you understand..."

Asuka's frown deepened. Another evening alone. She hated being alone... "I do..." she returned. "Get some rest, Rei."

"I will," Rei replied. "You do the same, okay?"

Another night of laying awake at night, alone with her thoughts? As if she was going to be able to do that... "I will..." she muttered.

---

Once Rei reached her apartment she shut the door behind herself and locked it with a heavy sigh. She could sense that things were truly beginning to unravel and her uncertainty was weighing on her. The doubt that she was doing the right thing was weighing on her.

It was clear to her that Asuka was quickly becoming enticed by Nagisa, that she was at the very least taking some kind of platonic interest in him and at worst something more. This was clear considering she'd brought up the note she'd left. Rei would admit that this had caused her to tense up but thankfully Nagisa made up a plausible lie. She was grateful for this but Asuka's reaction to it, coupled with the fact that she asked about it in the first place, made her believe that the redhead's feelings were already becoming more than platonic. That really did not bode well for the future... and yet she still felt that guilt from earlier that had caused her to hesitate at first.

She'd seen Asuka continue to draw inward on herself over the last few weeks even as she herself had been struggling with Shinji's disappearance. The fact that Asuka was actually being open with someone would be a good thing if it was with literally anyone else besides Nagisa. In addition to the natural problems that this situation posed she also risked losing her own friendship with Asuka for a number of possible reasons. From a practical standpoint, considering the looming threat of the end of the world, being in hostile waters with one of the pilots who would have to ward off that final attack was something she wished to avoid. From a personal standpoint... it would just hurt to lose her. Any and all resentment that she had for the redhead had been dissolved over her time in this world and she would hate to be on the receiving end of Asuka's venom again...

Moments later her cellphone rang and she answered it, knowing already who would be on the other end of the line. "So you called," she answered.

"I did," Nagisa replied, his voice sounding soft, defeated even. "What did you want to tell me?"

Rei thought on how to word what she wanted to say. There really was no right way to go about saying it... "You've become friends with Asuka, yes?" she asked.

"Soryu-san seems to think of me as such..." he replied.

"I see..." Rei murmured in response.

"What did you want to tell me?" he asked.

Rei found herself hesitating. She knew what she wanted to say. She wanted to tell him to just back off and cease communication with her... but she couldn't. She knew that if she told him that Asuka would be hurt by it but at the same time she knew that if she didn't encourage him to leave her alone she'd end up getting hurt anyway. "Don't hurt her..." she replied softly. "I'll never forgive you if you do..."

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. "I don't want to hurt her..." he returned softly, sounding almost worried. "What should I do?"

Rei bit her lip. What could he do? Was there anything possible for him to do? It was unlikely that it was even possible but the only way she could see that she wouldn't get hurt was if he could somehow refuse SEELE and his very nature... "The only way you won't is if you refuse your masters," she finally stated. "If you deny your role as the final Angel..."

Again, there was a pensive silence that permeated everything before Nagisa responded. "I don't know if that's possible..." he replied. "But... I'm willing to try. I would like to... experience friendship, experience humanity, with everyone..."

Rei's frown deepened. It would seem he was just as worried about his role in the future of things as she was but... if he was willing to try... then she might as well allow it. "Good..." she returned softly. "If that is so then I'll... I won't interfere..."

"Thank you..." Nagisa replied, his voice barely audible over the tiny phone speaker.

Rei didn't say anything more and hung up the phone with a heavy sigh, feeling completely and utterly lost, perhaps more so than she ever had...

---

Author's notes

Forgive me for taking a bit more time than usual to finish this one. My personal life has been somewhat of a mess during the last few weeks which kept me from dedicating as much time to this as I would have liked. Hopefully the quality didn't suffer.

Not really much to say about this one other than it's a groundwork building chapter for the course of the story going forward. Writing Kaworu with his turmoils post death and rebirth has been quite fun. To be honest, his blooming friendship with Asuka is quite a thrill to write and so is Rei's anxieties surrounding it. Unfortunately no Kaji or Misato in this chapter but they'll have their time to shine soon enough. The singular scene with Gendo was quite fun to write.

Also, yes, it has been a full six chapters since Shinji's been trapped in the robot. I apologize if he has been missed. At least the salvage operation will be happening earlier then expected...

As always, please read and review!

Regards,

A.F.