AN: Welcome back! I wanted to say the support and love I got for Right Where You Left Me was astounding. I actually have a second chapter in the works but it's taking me a while to finish it because I've been so busy with work. In the meantime here's a fix for 2x18. This is how I imagine Derek would have reacted to Meredith crying instead of how George did. Reviews are always appreciated and thank you again for reading my stories. Happy reading!

Meredith felt safe. A pair of strong arms encircled her waist akin to a life vest. The embrace was a cocoon of warmth she never wanted to leave. Reality of course would tear down serenity in a matter of time. She would be forced to tear herself from the security of her bed. If she had it her way, Meredith would stay tucked away in the enclave of sheets with Derek Shepherd for eternity.

She wished life was that easy.

For just a moment in time she wished every responsibility would freeze. Every terrible thought or memory would diminish and she'd be left with only the memories that brought a genuine, honest to god grin to her face. All she wanted was the world to fade black and be left with the positives. Was it too much to ask? Apparently in the world of Meredith Grey it was. The universe had it out for her or more so seemed like it did. One destruction after the other. She was so over being the world's punching bag.

Feeling the arms that enclosed her was a simple reminder that not everything or everyone she came in contact with would end in disaster. Derek was there, saying all the right things against her ear, comforting her without actually knowing all that was going on inside her head. He never made her feel silly or inadequate for her flaws and issues. Instead he embraced the imperfections with open arms, the same way she did for him. They were good at balancing out each other, maybe even perfect.

She was glad not to be alone. In past years a bottle of tequila might've kept her company. Alcohol was her typical go to. It was easy to lose herself when it came to drinking. She didn't have to think when she drank. Now she was drunk on a man who'd stolen her heart, a narrative she would have never pictured for herself. It was all so surreal.

Derek's breathing was steady against her damp neck. She couldn't tell if he was sleeping or just being lazy after sex. He liked to hold her and drift between sleep after all was said and done. She didn't mind being lazy with him if it meant he'd keep her safe in his arms. He'd yet to make a noise though. When his arm shifted to stroke her from thigh to hip she knew he wasn't sleeping. His fingers slipped beneath the beige bed linens to caress her naked skin. She shivered against his touch.

"Mm, cat got your tongue?" His voice was soft.

"Hmm?"

He kissed her shoulder once, twice, "You're being awfully quiet is all," Derek replied gently.

"I'm tired is all I'm just… I'm tired," her response was quiet, almost inaudible as her voice bled through the still room. Meredith didn't want him to pry. Although she was an idiot for thinking he wouldn't. Derek was always there asking questions, saying things, breaking down the tough exterior she built for everyone else. He made her so vulnerable at times but she really wished he wouldn't do it now. She just… she couldn't talk about this. She hated feeling so weak.

A sigh brushed her neck, disappointment and upset seeped from his tone. "Somethings bothering you. I don't know what it is but… something happened and you're not telling me. Let me in, Mer."

She inhaled sharply to keep the tears back. Something had happened. She hadn't wanted to talk about it. He was already dealing with trauma himself. Mark Sloan, his former best friend, showed up at the hospital and Derek wasn't coping well. She knew he still wasn't upset because of Addison or that he still hauled feelings for her. From what Meredith could gather he was bearing so much hurt still because Mark had been more than a best friend, he'd been his brother. She didn't want to ruin his already shitty day by mentioning her own baggage.

Meredith rolled in his arms. Their eyes met when she found his face. "Aren't I supposed to be making you feel better?" Meredith questioned in a somewhat joking manner.

Earlier she'd sat in her Jeep, silently crying in the driver's seat when she dialed his number, asking him to come over when he got off work. Her father's house was just across the street from where she sat and Derek had not a single clue as he accepted her offer. He didn't know about the tears that went down her cheeks when she made a promise to help him feel better about the Mark fiasco. He was unaware that the invitation of sex wasn't just to make him feel better but Meredith too. She assumed she was doing a pretty good job at masking her emotions tonight. Apparently the deafening silence was a dead giveaway.

"Relationships are a two way street, Meredith," he kissed her lips softly. He grinned but it was a sad smile. She couldn't pinpoint if the upset stemmed from his crappy day or the fact she wasn't willing to share her troubles. She hadn't mastered the relationship thing yet. But she was… well she was trying at least. Derek did his best to help her get there but she wasn't one-hundred percent. Sometimes she worried she never would be all the way.

"Well how was I supposed to know that?" Her eyes stung and her throat hurt. "Damn it," she shielded herself from his gaze, feeling embarrassed as tears started to flow. She felt so fucking stupid. A grown woman crying because her daddy didn't want her, how pathetic was that? Even more so pathetic when she realized she was doing it in the arms of a really attractive man. She didn't cry during sex ever. Except now she was and it made her want to die.

This wasn't how she imagined her evening going. But curiosity had gotten the best of her and she just wanted to see her father. Her patient making the video tapes earlier was a wake up call for her. She wanted answers and maybe somehow her mother had just been an evil woman twisting the narrative when she claimed Thatcher never cared enough to reach out. It made her sick realizing Ellis had been right all along, he didn't care about her. He didn't even fucking crack a smile when she showed up at his doorstep. The image of his perplexed expression was permanently burned into her memory. It'd been a punch to the gut.

She felt his fingers dance down her spine. His skin was rough and uneven from years of scrubbing in before surgeries. Every so often she was graced by a patch of his flesh that hadn't been maimed and it was soft, palpable against her back. He didn't speak for a long while, probably giving her space to let it out while she could. She wasn't used to this type of treatment. Normally when something bothered her she shut it down before she ever got the chance to express emotion. There was something freeing about crying but also just fucking terrifying. Derek probably thought she was a freak.

"You're okay," Derek chimed somewhere within the fog. "Breathe for me. You're safe, you're okay."

Meredith shuddered as he spoke. She clawed at his shoulders and held on as if she were riding a rollercoaster. She couldn't fucking stop crying no matter how many times he assured her she was safe.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry I'm ruining everything," there was agony in her tone as she spoke.

Derek held her for as long as she needed. He made her feel inadequate for falling apart in his arms. "Why on earth are you sorry? Meredith, you're okay. It's okay."

"God, I feel ridiculous," she sniffled. "And now there's snot all over your shoulder!" Meredith wiped her eyes and snorted. He joined in with her faint laughter while stroking the tears from her cheeks away with his thumbs.

They still laid on their sides facing each other while she calmed herself. He pushed her damp bangs from her eyes. The look he gave her made her feel protected and so special. Like nothing on earth would hurt her as long as he was around. She wished that was true. She wanted the hurt to bleed away while in his presence.

Derek leaned forward to kiss her forehead tenderly. Her face felt hot. "I don't care about snot," he chuckled, reaching to pull her closer, "I care about you." He whispered sincerely. "What happened tonight, Mer. Was it Mark? Did he do something to you?" Suddenly his voice was angry. She watched his eyes go from pale blue to something much darker.

Derek was a jealous guy. He pretended not to be even when Meredith called him out on it. She hadn't seen his jealousy bloom fully until that day. Occasionally he didn't like it when men flirted with her for a little too long at the bar or guys who stared at her breasts when speaking with her. The most he did in those situations was simply insert himself, casually mentioning that she belonged to him in some capacity. We're dating. She's my girlfriend. I love her. He'd never gotten physical until Mark showed up. He barely had the chance to introduce himself to Meredith before Derek was punching his lights out. She didn't know if it was just his jealousy roaring it's ugly head or if he really hated Mark so much that he just wanted to knock him to the ground. There were still a lot of unknowns about Mark and the past he shared with Derek but it was evident whatever relationship they had was non-existent now.

Meredith shook her head 'no' in response to his question. "No it wasn't Mark," she said, "it's really not a big deal I'm being dramatic about it." She kissed his chest as a form of persuasion. Maybe he wouldn't push further.

"Meredith, you're crying," but knowing Derek he would push. Not because he was particularly nosy, but because he cared about her in particular. The sheets whispered as they shifted, moving closer to each other until their noses nearly touched.

"I'm fine, really."

He reached to hold her cheeks between his palms. "You say that so often it's starting to sound like gibberish."

Meredith knew she sounded like a broken record. She was always fine because she had to be. There was no room for her to crumble.

"Do you really want to know?" She looked up to find his eyes.

She watched as the dark blue of his iris softened to a pale grey. The anger he felt toward the mention of Mark Sloan immediately bled away.

"I'm your boyfriend, you can talk to me. This is how relationships work, you don't have to keep it all in."

She sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "I saw my dad tonight."

"Wait what? Was he at the hospital or…?" Derek's eyes bulged at the revelation. He knew about her rocky past with him. He knew he left when she was only five. He didn't know everything the same way she didn't either.

"No, no… I found his address. I didn't want to make hate tapes about him on my deathbed, Derek," and suddenly she was crying again. Her shoulders shook with every sob. Somewhere deep down Meredith thought that maybe seeing Thatcher Grey again could open up the possibility of having a father again. That maybe they could forgive and forget the blatant fact he abandoned her for twenty years. But she'd been met with a different scenario. He'd moved on without her, starting a family with someone else, catering to his other daughter's needs. Meredith was nobody to him anymore and it was a horrific realization. She wasn't anything to anyone.

Except for Derek.

"He moved on. He didn't fight for me. He let Ellis take me away and didn't even bat an eyelash. He's spent the last two decades of his life not even so much as wondering how I turned out or what I'm doing with my life. I-I wanted to believe that maybe he had fought but Ellis was a cold hearted bitch who wouldn't let him. But he didn't fight. He didn't even fucking care," she continued.

Derek cradled her so tight she could barely breathe but it was the best kind of breathless. His warm embrace was so secure, so assuring. "He left me alone…" Meredith whispered, "and now I'm crying during sex like a loser and ruining our night together I fucking hate myself."

"Meredith…" he trailed. "You are not alone. So many people care about you. So many people love you more than you'll ever realize. All of your friends; Cristina, Izzie, George, hell even Alex Karev, they would go to war for you. I would go to war for you if it meant you were safe and happy. You will never be alone, not again, I promise," he sounded so certain of his promise. Even if he didn't have a crystal ball that would predict the future, she wanted to trust him in believing that he was right. Neither of them knew where their relationship was headed or it's longevity. Hell, they could be broken up next week. But she wanted a future with him as terrified as she was. She could picture the white picket fence surrounding a house he built for her. There were children in her vision and animals roaming about. It was the future she never imagined for herself but a future she wanted if it meant Derek was there.

She'd never had this before, a real grown-up relationship. Guys in the past never told her she was loved because they only wanted one thing from her and it was sex. After she gave them what they wanted they always left in the end. No man had ever been bold enough to utter I love you until Derek, as embarrassed as she was to admit it aloud.

"Your dad is a coward of a man. Mer, he doesn't deserve you and he never did. He doesn't realize how special you are and it's a damn shame."

"I'm not special," she said bitterly. She didn't see herself as someone extraordinary.

Derek scoffed at her statement. Almost like he couldn't believe she could think so little of herself. "You are the most unique person I have ever met. Knowing you is a privilege that I cherish every single day. You are the reason I'm alive again, that I'm living a life I actually want to live. Did you think I was making it all up when I said you saved me? God, Meredith I love you so much I don't know if I'm gonna make it. You are so special to me. I wish you wouldn't seek yourself so short. It makes me so… so angry neither of your parents will ever know that," he murmured passionately against her skin and she watched as tears now rimmed his own eyes.

"I wish I was confident enough to believe those things myself," she felt broken. Too broken. It scared her no matter how much she tried she wouldn't be able to glue all the pieces back together enough to become a healthy and healed person.

"You'll get there. I know you'll get there," he whispered, "I wish you would have told me you were going to visit him. I could have been there, be your moral support."

Meredith nodded, leaning forward to kiss his chest. His heart hammered against her lips. "I think it was something I needed to do on my own. It was embarrassing enough witnessing his disappointment myself. I don't think I needed an audience," she sniffled. "I'm glad I did it or just glad it's over. At least now I don't have to wonder for the rest of my life."

Derek chewed at his bottom lip. "He doesn't know what he's missing. You're extraordinary. Screw him, screw your mother, screw everyone who ever made you feel unloved and alone."

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

She shook her head, "Manage to say all the right things all the time."

He didn't respond but he didn't have to. The kilowatt smile he protruded was response enough. It made her insides warm and fuzzy when he smiled. For a moment they laid in the enclave of her bed wrapped in rumpled sheets, wrapped in each other, not speaking. Maybe her father couldn't love her but for the first time since they started this thing, she felt truly loved by Derek. Not that she thought he didn't love her before this night but rather his love was solidified now.

"Hmm," he hummed after some time.

Meredith jackknifed her leg around his waist and nuzzled her head beneath his chin. It was the closest she could get to him without actually being carnal. She kissed his stubbled neck. "I can't believe I cried during sex," Meredith could feel her cheeks heating.

Derek chuckled and she could feel his laughter vibrating through his chest. "I don't know why you're making it such a big deal, it's really not."

"You're probably the first guy in the history of the universe to think that."

"At least I'm making history."

Meredith giggled at his antics, lightly chastising his hip with a playful slap. "You're an idiot."

"Your idiot," he purred deliciously.

Her hand nudged at his bicep insisting he roll to his back. The couple shifted as he obliged to her request. She straddled his waist, her knees hugged his hips, his hands clutched her thighs. The blanket cloaking her fell and she was uncovered for his personal view.

"Thank you for making me feel better," Meredith curled over to hold his cheek, kiss his ripe mouth. Derek moaned into her lips as she reached down between their slick skin to cup him.

She needed him now, urgently. Not to scratch an itch but mostly to feel connected. He taught her sex could be about more than an orgasm. Sex could be a union, a sense of comfort, safety. He made her feel all of those things when they were together carnally. And when they were connected again it felt like coming home. They spent the rest of their night locked away in Meredith's bedroom, comforting each other in the process.