"-if I get to choose my own name." Steven meowed with an air of certainty. Across from him, Bramblestar raised a brow.
"I wasn't aware you were in good company enough to be making demands," Jayfeather's whiskers twitched as he spoke. Steven shuffled his paws, his claws briefly digging into the floor of the den. His tail twitched at his side as he sat down, if only to calm his jittering paws.
The hybrid opened his mouth, hesitating only for a moment. When he spoke, it wasn't in response to Jayfeather's jab, "Please. I have.. bad experiences with others carving my identity. It's practically a curse at this point," Steven laughed with some bitter humor that went over all three of his company's heads, "it'd be nice to choose my own name for once."
Jayfeather's fur bristled, the tom not too keen on taking being ignored. "You-" he began, before snapping his mouth shut. Bramblestar had raised his tail in a silencing manner, Alderheart following suit by nudging his mentor. Jayfeather simmered in his spot, but didn't say anything more.
"It's a rather harmless request," Bramblestar soothed, "for the options he was given. I'd only make his time with the Clan more miserable to ignore it. Of course, it'll still have to abide by our naming conventions, and meet my approval."
Bramblestar had similar experiences to his, be it name or something else; he could see it in his eyes, the way he seemed to understand so quickly. Steven leveled the leader a respectful look. "I wouldn't hope to offend you otherwise. Though, you'll have to elaborate. I'm still pretty new to this Clan business."
Bramblestar nodded, before turning to the medicine cats. "I won't keep you two any longer. You're free to leave, just- keep quiet about this for now. If ThunderClan has to hear anything, it'll come from me. Oh- but, if you run into Squirrelflight, please send her in."
Alderheart sighed in relief. "Got it!" he mewed. He didn't want to abandon Steven, per se, but the conversation had admittedly turned boring, and besides; Steven himself didn't seem to be under any threat anymore. He was still tense, sure, but Alderheart wasn't sure who wouldn't be, dealing with someone who so casually threatened to take care of you just moments before.
Jayfeather had already gotten to his paws, making his way out of the den and down the slope and leaving Alderheart to catch up. A few seconds later, the two in the den could hear Jayfeather's voice snapping at someone. Bramblestar shook his head. Well, he never expected his Clanmate not to be curious.
Turning back to the matter at hand, Bramblestar cleared his throat. He wouldn't say he found pride in the way the tom flinched, but there was a part of him that felt good knowing this outsider recognized him as a potential threat. If only every outsider that stepped paw into our territories felt similarly.
"By tradition, a Clan cat's name changes with them as they grow. However, the name they're given at birth is the one that usually doesn't change. Like mine; 'Bramble' has stuck with me since I was in the nursery." Bramblestar explained, pausing to let Steven take in the information. Seeing him nod slightly, he continued, "You would be choosing that part of your name; let me worry about the rest."
Steven let himself mull over the information he was given for a moment. It wasn't unfamiliar, he decided; names changing with someone as they grew. His middle names worked quite like that, albeit a little differently. His fur twitched minutely at the thought.
"And that name can be anything?" Steven questioned, watching the leader's eyes narrow.
The leader nodded, eliciting a short hum from Steven.
"... what would you have named me?"
Bramblestar blinked. "Cats are usually named on their appearance. So, based on looks alone? Maybe Barkpaw, or Specklepaw, for your freckles. Pinkpaw might work, too-"
"No." Steven snapped, teeth bared and claws unsheathed. Bramblestar almost reeled from the sudden show of hostility, but just as quickly as it'd come, Steven seemingly forced himself to calm down significantly.
"I'm not the one naming you," Bramblestar assured, his tone sharp; he wasn't too fond of being asked for something and then getting snapped at for it. "You asked what I would have named you, but I'd be daft to ignore your request to name yourself."
Steven's shoulders remained tense for a moment more, before he relaxed as he nodded. Guilt churned in his stomach. "Right. Sorry." He didn't offer an explanation. Bramblestar didn't pry.
He didn't say it was okay, either. He didn't claim he wasn't disturbed by such a startlingly fast switch between moods. He did, however, nod his acknowledgement for the apology.
"Can I.." Steven swallowed thickly, suppressing every negative thought that threatened to surface, most of them self-deprecating in nature. I'm better than this, he thought with a bitter taste in his mouth, I shouldn't be reacting like this anymore. "Can I have a little while to choose a name?"
"You have until sundown," the tabby tom replied earnestly. Steven glanced at the entrance to the den, taking in the light. It seemed just about the afternoon, if he had to guess. So, he had a few hours at least.
"Thank you." Steven mewed. What should I name myself? Stars, okay- I can safely guess Star isn't.. good, not to mention.. he cut his thoughts off at that, Rose and Quartz are automatic no's from me. Matter of fact, everything geminine in nature is probably off of the label for now. What else do I associate myself with? Music? Then.. Musicpaw?
He thought about it for a moment, screwing up his nose. No. Songpaw?
... also no. He groaned, drawing a questioning glance from Bramblestar. "Just narrowing things down, hah.." he chuckled sheepishly.
Speaking of music.. maybe something from dad's music- like Cometpaw, or, Universepaw, or-
Steven cringed. Maybe choosing something so heavily associated with both his dad and his mom wasn't the greatest idea. Even if Cometpaw did have a nice ring to it
"Bramblestar?" A voice Steven didn't know called into the den, breaking his train of thought. He regarded the orange she-cat curiously as she stepped into the den, seemingly distracted by something behind her as she walked. "What in StarClan's name happened while I was out? Alderheart rushed me, telling me to come see you as soon as I stepped through the tunnel, and I haven't seen the Clan this talkative since-"
Her exasperated words came to a halt the second Steven knew she'd finally seen him. Just like the cats he'd encountered so far, he could see her immediately tense, clearly going on her guard. However, carefully her eyes and expression remained unhostile, curious and guarded, yes,but not aggressive in the slightest. Steven could nearly sigh at that; it was a great change of pace for a cat to not be outright hostile in his presence for once. Almost immediately, he found himself endeared towards this cat, if only just a little. Squirrelflight, I think Bramblestar called her.
"Who is this?" she asked, coming to stand by Bramblestar's side. Bramblestar briefly touched noses with her, to Steven's slight surprise. Definitely more than just leader and follower, then, he thought curiously. As Bramblestar spoke to her in a low voice, no doubt explaining everything that'd led up to this point, Steven fell back into his thoughts, picking up where he left off. He did, however, exchange a polite greeting when he was introduced by name.
I do like the idea of choosing something music related, he decided, I love music. But what? He thought of the songs he'd sing when he was younger. Peace and Love echoed in his ears momentarily and truthfully, he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel fond of it. It was just one of the many songs to come that would unite him with some of the closest gems to him. Well, he snickered internally, as entertaining as it would be, I don't think I could go with Peacepaw.. Or Warpaw. Just about anything from that song might come across wrong. Didn't mean it wasn't funny to think about, though; imagining stalking up to Bramblestar and seriously asking to be called Deathpaw nearly made him laugh aloud.
He ignored it when Squirrelflight's voice raised suddenly, an easy-to-hear, "Are you sure that's a good idea?" ringing throughout the den.
Steven hummed. Again, it might be best to avoid everything related to gems in general, not just Rose and the Diamonds. So that puts a lot of my later songs out. Settling down onto belly with his paws tucked under him, Steven gazed out through the entrance of the den, watching the trees in the distance almost seem to shiver in the cold (it was a silly thought, he supposed, but the back-and-forth of the leaves in the wind gave that effect). He was distantly reminded of another day spent in the company of a chilly breeze, rocking clothes hanging from laundry lines. A day spent with Connie atop the laundry hand, singing together for the first time.
That was so long ago, he breathed in wonder, things were so much simpler then. It made his heart hurt, thinking about Connie. She must be so worried about him, while he was here, gallivanting around as a cat and choosing a name for himself. Almost immediately, he shut the thought down. I shouldn't be lamenting over things I can't control… even if it was my fault I ended up here. The hybrid bit back a sigh. On the brightside, I might have shelter and possibly a few cats looking after me now. That's, like, Survival 101 according to Connie.
Steven smiled slightly, knowing now his decision was set in stone without him having spoken it yet. His tail wagged happily at his side, a gesture he wasn't sure was very cat-like but it felt natural enough (besides, the sheer energy he felt at that moment needed to be let loose). It's always been us; Jam Buds from start to finish. I've always been the biscuit to her jam.
He pushed himself onto his paws, almost feeling lighter than before. Surely, if his powers were working right, he'd be floating at least a couple inches- which he was thankful, for once, that he wasn't. A glance at the two cats told him they were still talking in their low, hushed tone. Possibly so that he wouldn't hear, but more likely just to be considerate.
"I want to be named Strawberrypaw," Steven called lightly. He wasn't loud by any means, but he was met with the hushed whispers stopping and two surprised stares. After a moment, Squirrelflight turned back towards Bramblestar.
"You let him choose his own name?" she mewed in amusement. "Oh, thank StarClan."
Bramblestar coughed, shooting her a sour look that Steven understood was playful in nature. "I'm not that bad at naming cats."
Squirrelflight shot him a dubious look, to which Bramblestar rolled his eyes and nudged her sharply with a paw. Laughing, the she-cat bounced a few pawsteps away, closer now to Steven than to her mate. Bramblestar stared after her with a fond look for a moment before he shifted his gaze to Steven.
"Strawberrypaw?" He rumbled. Steven nodded immediately, feeling that same fuzzy feeling in his chest get stronger.
"It suits you," Squirrelflight piped in from his side. Steven shuffled his paws happily, in contrast to how he'd been shuffling them nervously just a little bit earlier.
"Thank you," he purred. It was entirely genuine, and Steven found it much easier to not think about every negative thing threatening to break him down when he had something positive to think about instead. I made the right choice.