This song was a song of purity, an angel's cry turned into a sound. As she was listening, her tears started wetting her cheeks. She almost didn't notice them as they felt so natural. She quickly used her tissue to dry them as she didn't want anyone to see it. Deep down, she knew that this moment was unique, that something would have changed when the voice would stop singing. What she didn't expect is just how soon that voice would stop singing, and just how much would change when it happened.

Sulking in bed within the confines of an apartment for hours tends to make you forget any sense of time. Nana Nakagawa knew that fact all too well, but then again, when you're a former idol who's peak long past them, what was the point of keeping track of what time it was? She was no longer Setsuna Yuki after all, and since she was no longer Setsuna Yuki, what day and time it was no longer mattered. Because she no longer mattered.

Judging from the receding sunlight beaming in through her window, Nana at least had an idea that whatever day it was was slowly coming to an end. There were an array of thoughts cluttering within the former idol's head as she picked herself up from her creaky mattress, but with the gentle rumbling of her stomach, she came to the quick assumption it had been quite a while since the last time she had a meal.

Crawling out of bed wearing a wrinkled, oversized white t-shirt with the logo of a western band and a pair of black sweatpants clearly too small to belong to her, Nana stretched her arms out and yawned as she left her room and entered the living room and kitchen. For a girl who was raised under a conservataive household regarding cleanliness and appearance, she, just like the dirty and cluttered apartment she lived in, looked like an absolute mess. She didn't even need to bother checking the fridge or cabinets if there was any food. After attempting and failing at making omurice a few nights earlier, any and all ingredients she had left in that kitchen were wasted. Considering the last time she went to a grocery store was over three weeks-hell, maybe a whole month ago, if there was any food that was spared that day, it was more likely than not expired by now.

Sighing to herself as she observed the messy, run-down apartment that she had to call home, she considered her options when it came to food. With the amount of bills she had to pay that were due both this and the preceding month, anything pricey or requiring delivery was immediately off the table. Although she could stomach it when desperate, the former idol preferred not to gulp down fast food for the sake of her health. No matter how far she's fallen in life, she wasn't going to resort to a diet of cheap, processed burgers and fried chicken so long as she still retained her dignity.

This ultimately left Nana with only a handful of convenience stores, izakayas, and local restaurants within the vicinity of her apartment to pick from, with her picking the latter option. Of course, this would require the blue-haired woman to go outside, which she hasn't done since that grocery shopping trip that happened whenever ago. While not excited by the prospect of stepping outside after the relative comfort of retreating herself to a messy apartment, Nana knew she had to go outside for both the food and to break this unhealthy habit of sulking and sleeping from one day to the next.

With that in mind, the former idol went to her restroom to freshen up; brushing her messy hair, wiping the smudge off her glasses, washing the sweat and tear stains from her face, on top of changing into a more appropriate outfit for the chilly outdoors. Now donning a red hoodie, black jeans, and braiding her hair reminiscent of her high school days, Nana felt slightly more confident in her appearance to justify a trip to a quiet restaurant she had in mind that she once visited. Whether it was months or even years since her last visit, she still subtly remembers the quality and affordability of the food.

The walk from her apartment to the restaurant wasn't too long or too short, just around 7 to 10 minutes depending on the pace. The neighborhood was a mix of residential and commercial, plenty of apartment complexes with a konbini, bakery, and laundromat every other street. Nana paid no mind to the surroundings around her though. Rather, her attention was to the skies, with the clouds above were several shades of pink, yellow, and blue as the sun began to set.

How pretty… When was the last time I even saw it like this?

With the blaring noise of a horn, the former idol regained her sensory awareness before her body made contact with the front of a Toyota Corolla, jumping forward and falling onto the other side of the sidewalk. Picking herself up from off the ground and taking a few deep breaths from that nearly painful experience, Nana found herself only three buildings away from her the destination she had in mind. Brushing off her knees of any remaining dust and cement particles, Nana set forth to acquire a meal.

The restaurant was emptier than she remembered the last time she came here. Gone were the majority of the tables, few little pictures along the walls, not even the fish tank with a Koi inside it greeted her at the entrance. Maybe it had been years since she last came here, because this didn't feel anything like the restaurant she had dined within in the past. Was it even the same place? It had to be, because despite the interior makeover, the menu remained the same, and much to Nana's surprise, so did the prices. Thank goodness.

The former idol walked up to the empty counter as her eyes gazed along the lines of text on the menu board. What was she in the mood for? Tonkotsu? Unagi don? Niku udon? Yes, niku udon is what she wanted to eat, along with a side of takoyaki. A grand total of ¥1,200, Nana had just enough on hand to pay for this meal, and she was already looking forward to it. A small smile appeared on her face as she pumped her hands close to her chest in excitement, not even noticing the woman behind the counter.

Turning to her right, the blue-haired woman was greeted by the monotone expression of the cashier. Pink hair that went down to her shoulders and a full head shorter than herself, Nana didn't recognize the figure at all. She's probably a part-time employee.

"What can I get you, ma'am?" the cashier asked in a tone matching that of her face: blank.

The excitement that the former idol had for the meal dissipated once met with the lackluster customer service presented by this cashier. Couldn't she have at least faked a smile? Kids these days.

The pink-haired girl, who couldn't have been older than 20, stared quietly as she waited for a reply. Shaking her head from her dazed state, Nana recomposed herself as she gave her attention to the cashier in front of her.

"Uh, just a bowl of niku udon and takoyaki. Please." She placed down a handful of notes that came up to ¥1,100, which the pink-haired cashier picked up, counted, and placed back down.

"The total comes up to ¥1,500, ma'am. This isn't enough..."

"W-what? What do you mean it isn't enough?"

"I can h-"

"This is all the money I have! ¥1,100 should be just enough to pay for it!" Nana let out her voice louder and angrier than intended, which clearly startled the young girl behind the counter.

"Please don't shout at me, ma'am…"

If she didn't feel bad before, the former idol certainly felt bad now. Even if this kid had the charisma of a pair of chopsticks, that didn't make it right to shout at her. Who knows, maybe there's a reason why the cashier is as unexpressive as she is, medical condition, trauma, social awkwardness. No matter the reason, Nana began to regret stepping foot into this restaurant. She was still a complete mess, who was she to raise her voice at a girl probably making minimum wage?

"I… I'm sorry. J-just forget I even came inside. Have a good rest of your day."

Before Nana was able to make an exit, she swore she overheard a name she hadn't heard in ages.

"Y-you're Yuki Setsuna-san, aren't you?"

Turning around, the former idol looked back at the cashier, who was still standing behind the counter, seemingly not having moved an inch.

"I don't know what you're talkin-"

"Please don't lie. I dislike it when people do that, it's an insult to my intelligence."

Nana was now more weirded out than anything. She had retired from idol activities four years ago. Setsuna Yuki was, for all practical purposes, dead, both as an idol and as a person. So how was this kid able to recognize her having not spent even five minutes in the same room together?

"How are you so sure…?"

"You and Setsuna-san have the same height, hair color, eyes, and voice. I know you are Setsuna-san because we have met on seven different occasions."

"We-"

"I attended your first performance at the Anime Fair in Odaiba. It was the first convention I ever went to, and it made my day seeing you sing and take a photo with me. It made me very happy, Setsuna-san."

The blue-haired girl thought back to that day. It was incredibly hot on that summer day back then, and she swore she probably would have collapsed from heat stroke had she performed a minute longer. Yet, she put on the best performance she could, and she remembered how captivated her small congregation of fans were. Despite how exhausted, sweaty, and fatigued she was afterwards, she still made sure to smile and pose with each and every fan who attended. It was this recollection of events that day she realized

I did meet her…

The missing pieces started to get filled in for Nana, coming to realize that the cashier in front of her had indeed been present for many of her live shows. From her humble beginnings of putting on impromptu performances in the corner of convention halls to the peak of career performing to a sold out crowd at Nissan Stadium, the former idol always had one fan who managed to meet her at each show.

"Rina-san…"

The cashier raised an eyebrow, the most expression she's shown since up to this point. "You remember me?"

Nana couldn't help but giggle and rub the back of her head. "That's my line, silly. I… I can't believe you still know about Setsuna…"

"I could never forget, not after everything Setsuna-san meant to me. It made me very sad when I heard about the retirement, what caused it and… well, that it all had to end."

The former idol observed that the pink-haired cashier had stopped giving her eye contact, instead looking down at her hands on top of the counter. Her nails were painted blue, which suited her incredibly well.

"I'm sorry to have disappointed you, Rina-san. I'm sure you must be pretty upset seeing me in this state, looking this pathetic… shouting at you like I did…"

The cashier's eyes returned to look at Nana, shaking her head too. "I'm not disappointed… I didn't think it was you at first, but when I heard you say sorry to me, I knew it was you, Setsuna-san."

"Why was that…?"

"Because that's the same way Setsuna-san apologized to me when we first met. You were apologizing for being exhausted and hot when I asked for your photo with me, but I didn't mind."

Nana didn't know how to feel witnessing Rina remembering all these details like it was yesterday. Surprised she remembered their first interaction? Happy that she bothered to remember? Sad that their latest meeting had to occur under such depressing circumstances? And I'm still hungry…

Rina blinked a couple times when hearing the rumbling noises originating from the former idol's stomach. "Let me get your order."

"Here, let me ge-"

"You don't have to pay, Setsuna-san." the cashier shot a glare at the blue-haired girl before she could reach for her wallet. "I assume you don't have much money right now, and I can't take that from you…"

"R-Rina-san…"

"I'll treat you to your meal. It's the least I can do for all you've done for me."

Before Nana could respond to even attempt a refusal to the offer, the cashier had disappeared into the back door towards the kitchen. All she could do now is think about the events that had transpired. The fact she met one of her biggest fans in a restaurant not far from her crappy apartment. The fact that said fan was able to recognize her after so many years of staying out of the public eye. The fact that said fan still remembered and cherished the time she spent with an idol that was as good as dead to Nana and the world. I can't believe it.

About 10 minutes had passed since Rina vanished into the kitchen, with the blue-haired girl waiting at one of the only chairs present within the desolate restaurant. Besides the brief sounds of laughter that seemed to come from the kitchen, a voice that most certainly didn't belong to that of the cashier, there was a quiet speaker system above the entrance door that played a variety of music. At the moment, it was playing a melancholic english song, with Nana swearing having heard it once from a famous TV show or something. Wherever she heard it, she couldn't deny how much it rang true to her, not just at this point in time, but also considering everything leading up to this moment.

But you can't look back

Can't look back

Can't look back

Can't look back

It's impossible

Before Nana lost herself to the sentimentality of the lyrics, the pink-haired cashier returned from the kitchen with a plastic bag in hand. From the smell, it was clear that the contents included not just niku udon and takoyaki, but croquettes as well. She was beyond grateful, if not still a little reluctant to accept the meal without any proper payment.

"T-thank you, Rina-san." the former idol took the bag of food into her hand. "I… I can't really thank you enough for the meal… and everything else you said to me. It makes me happy you still remember me."

Nana was trying hard to fight back tears, not wanting to look like a dumb, emotional mess over something she thought of as silly. It's clear the cashier didn't think the same way though, as she began to wipe the tears with a hankerchief… before tightly hugging the former idol and resting her head against her chest.

"It's okay, Setsuna-san. I'm happy that you're still here, still the same as I remember you from back then, no matter how much you think you've changed…"

Although Rina still spoke in the same monotone, Nana recognized how much emotion and genuineness the girl hugging her was showcasing, causing her to cry even more. How long ago was the last time Nana hugged someone? Probably Yu before the breakup, or her mother before… well, that wouldn't be a pretty memory to go back to. The former idol loved the feeling though. Despite how much shorter Rina was to her, she felt safe in her warmth and comfort.

"Please come by anytime, Setsuna-san. Me and Ai-san will always welcome you."

"A-Ai-san?" Nana attempted to speak up through her tears, briefly seeing in the corner of her watery eyes a blonde leaning against one of the walls with her arms crossed, smiling it seemed. Ah, her…

After the two girls reluctantly broke up the hug, the blue-haired girl once again thanked the cashier, as well as the blonde, for the meal they made for her, among the other things Rina was able to do for her. By the night Nana stepped outside again, the once-pink sky was a midnight blue, marking the first time she had seen the stars as clearly as she did in ages. The former idol made an effort to gaze up above her while still remaining aware of her surroundings during her walk back home. Before long, she was in front of the steps to her apartment building, riding up the elevator to the 7th floor, and opening the door to reveal the messy living space she made a temporary escape from about an hour ago.

With no clean spot either on her dining table or kotatsu, Nana decided to walk out to the balcony she barely used to enjoy her meal, giving her an excuse to see more of the sky she was so obsessed with. She would clean her apartment in due time, it was in her nature as a Nakagawa after all. For now though, she would recline in a wobbly, wooden chair as she enjoyed a croquette. In some way, Nana's rocky life had led up to this point of momentary bliss, regardless of how mundane it may seem or how short it may last.

It briefly came across to Nana during this time where she first heard that song at Rina's restaurant, and the significance it played in her career. It was a love of music that made her want to become an idol after all, and even though those days ended prematurely, that love for music was still around. The former idol considered thinking deeper about the song in question, but decided against it. What good would it do right now to think about stuff like that, especially with such a delicious meal in front of her.

I can't look back. It's impossible.