(Saturn-6dogs)

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"main sequence"

Sorry, I've been focusing A LOT on this comic. _

KOUICHI'S POV

Why is it every time I see my friends we end up drinking? My kidneys are going to disintegrate. Is this what happens when you get older? Maybe elder hang outs consist of inebriated stupidity.

I'm just happy Kouji is okay drinking with us.

Junpei and Takuya wanted to celebrate our final move in day. Kouji and I hosted a small housewarming get-together and only invited our three friends. It may have taken awhile but Kouji and I finally have stable jobs and an untainted place to live. We moved farther away from all the things that haunted me for so long. Away from the bullies, Katsu and that house. The only thing I'm going to miss is the tunnel but Kouji promised to take me back there one day.

Well, I miss her, too. That's just one thing I won't think about anymore. I feel like a terrible son for not wanting to remember my mother but mentally I just couldn't take it. I never looked in mirror much back then but now it's almost impossible. If it were up to me, all the mirrors in this world would vanish.

I just can't see her.

It's embarrassing and yet, I didn't care. Sometimes when I feel this mournful I end up wearing my heart on my sleeve for Kouji. He always does the same thing; just pats me on the head.

It's not much, but it's enough.

Junpei, Takuya and Tomoki helped us move in so it's only fair to open up my door to them. So much has happened this year and it's crazy. I suppose I'm lucky to have friends so involved with each other. I need to start counting my blessings.

The conversation I had with Junpei still bewitched my brain. There's something between Kouji and I and it somehow both excited and terrified me. Every time Kouji were to just look at me I could feel my heart pounding. Anytime he would smile at me I had the most insane butterflies. Anytime he touch my shoulder, that area would burn.

The first bottle was split between us boys. Junpei announced he found a new girlfriend He kept saying how nice she was, apparently the nicest person in the world. It made me think of my mother and I hated the thought. Junpei said his girlfriend couldn't make it tonight because she had to work but she's so smart and funny.

A part of me didn't want to listen anymore. I couldn't focus with Kouji sitting next to me, our legs were slightly touching.

Junpei kept throwing out random compliments about her. I didn't know whether it was sweet or if he tried too hard. He knew everything about her already; her birthday, age, where she works, and her favorite color. Oh, and apparently she hates vegetables.

Weird.

After the second bottle it got interesting.

Takuya finally took my advice, he admitted. He's not dating and focusing on himself. He won't even look at a girl. He admitted he fell in love a lot with the people that showed him the least bit of attention and it ended up being his downfall.

He also admitted he was being extremely selfish. I understood, just looking in his eyes reminded me he was just a little kid at heart. He wanted everything and really thought he could have it. I'm glad he's taking a permanent break from this egotism.

Takuya drunkly stated his parents were getting a divorce and he believes love isn't real anymore. He said, 'on the bright side, they buy me everything I want'. It made me nauseous to think about, when did this happen?

He's good at hiding it, I guess.

I'm used to Izumi never coming around anymore. She was nice, maybe, but not to Junpei. I mean, Junpei is the nicest guy in the world, I just don't understand who could treat him so badly?

Tomoki told us nothing has changed for him, it's always the same old stuff. It's hard to believe, but Tomoki's always been different. Nothing really bothered him, at least nothing he showed. He kept to himself, usually playing video games or reading a new book.

When I was younger I always caught him at the library. There was a small section for teens that included books and computers. He was smart, a total tech-savvy bookworm. I'm surprised he never got bullied. Well, I wouldn't be surprised if he did and just never told us.

We were done with a third bottle, and I finally felt a bit dizzy. Maybe it was because I didn't eat that much today. I had a major craving for tea. I glanced at Kouji. He sat by me quietly, serene. When his eyes finally met mine I suddenly felt self conscious.

Weeks had gone by and I never said a word to him about what Junpei and I talked about. When I'm sober, it's a bit easier to be around him.

Now that there's liquor in my system, just him eyeing me was enough to hope for everyone to leave soon so I could just be alone with him. Junpei, Tomoki and Takuya were busy conversing as Kouji and I made our awkward eye contact. There's so much tension between us.

..does he feel it, too?

I finally caught my breath, darting my eyes away from him.

I stood but suddenly had been stopped. Kouji grabbed my hand. I looked at him rather confused but he just shot me a seriously dangerous look. I mean, it wasn't extremely menacing, but whatever rough expression he had on his face was a little too attractive.

"What's w-wrong?" I whispered.

"Where are you going?" Kouji asked quietly.

"I was.. going to make tea," I frowned, confused.

"Let's finish our drinks," Kouji smirked, pulling my hand down.

I dropped lightly onto the couch and sat blushing beside him. He handed me the cup and we drank together. I think mine was a little fuller because it took me more than two seconds.

Where did he get more? When? I thought we were done with the bottles. I don't think the alcohol is letting me think clearly.

I suddenly had a feeling I wanted to walk to the tunnel. I forgot I was in a different house for a moment. It would definitely take me more than an hour to walk there.

The events next could cause shivers. It all happened to quickly.

Takuya stood and walked to the bathroom.

Tomoki had to take a call and stepped outside.

Junpei walked into the kitchen for water.

Kouji put his hand on my thigh.

I didn't look at him, instead looked at his hand. It was slightly shaking. The area he was touching felt hot. I put my hand on top of his, bravely, and looked up to see his slightly bewildered face.

I could feel my facial features twisting into a tender fondness. Kouji's molded into smoldering excitement.

There is it again; the violent butterflies.

Kouji and I heard Junpei snort in the kitchen and immediately we pulled our hands back.

"Don't worry, we'll leave soon," Junpei chuckled.

He obviously saw.

Kouji rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

I couldn't speak, I felt embarrassed but exhilarated. Junpei had witnessed us, but I couldn't help it. I know a Junpei knows and I didn't care. I just wanted Kouji to myself right now.

Wait, Kouji said a long time ago that Junpei knew something. Was this it? Has he always been our personal Cupid? I feel dumb for not realizing.

Within a few minutes the boys left, Junpei wasn't lying. He told them he had to work in the morning which wasn't true. Right before walking out the door, Takuya enveloped me in the biggest bear hug possible. I'm sure Kouji wasn't too pleased, but my twisted way of thinking enjoyed every second of it. I wanted Kouji's attention.

I craved it.

Junpei left and the two followed in his footsteps and left. It wasn't like they had a choice, they both lived pretty far now.

There was silence between Kouji and I but it wasn't awkward, more eagerness. We both felt it, it was anxious excitement.

I just wanted to jump on him.

Ah, it's the alcohol. I need to calm down.

Kouji looked around the room and sighed. I glanced at him, my fingers tapped nervously on my knee.

"It's different, isn't it?" He asked, he sparkle in his eye, "This place?"

"Yeah, it is," I replied, my cheeks flushed.

I let my bangs fall over my face to cover my redness. Drunk or not, I couldn't believe how self conscious I was around him. This concept of timid anticipation was a little too hard to accept. I wanted to crawl under a rock but I wanted him to come with me.

I wasn't sure if I was smiling, my face felt numb. The living room was smaller, everyone about our new place had shrunk. However, I didn't care. No matter the size, I'm just grateful to be given a new begginning.

And with him at my side.

Plus, if the room is smaller than he can be closer to me.

"I hope different is good," he muttered.

His voice didn't have emotion though I could tell something was animated.

My head fell to the side, "..of course it's good."

"It's like a new beginning for us," Kouji smirked.

My eyes widened, "..that's what I was thinking!"

"I'm glad to be anywhere, as long as I'm with you," Kouji smiled.

It seemed he was looking for a reaction. Though my cheeks were a constant flush, somehow I felt extra feverish.

"When did you get so sentimental?" I stared at him.

Kouji laughed, "..when did you become so transparent?"

"Transparent?" I pouted, "..what do you see?"

"A lot."

I smiled for lots of reasons, but one of those reasons was because I had something on my mind. Something I didn't want to admit, but something my drunken state could finally allow.

"I'll be right back," Kouji suddenly stood.

I whined, "..wait."

Kouji raised an eyebrow. I grabbed his hand and smiled. He stared at me for a moment, suddenly I stood, swinging my arms around his neck. He studied me for a moment, I laid my head on his chest. I heard his heart beat but it seemed irregular, like maybe something had effected it.

"Stay."

"Kouichi, I just need to piss," Kouji chuckled, "..you can come with me if you want."

I huffed, dropped on the couch and crossed my arms, "..hurry back."

Kouji had a smile on his face that shown a peeking interest. My eyes were growing heavy watching him leave. I couldnt help but notice the denim jacket he wore. It reminded me of how much I hated that girl.

I didn't notice it that much before. His hair is so long, it's really cool.. and jacket was extremely nice. It looked so attractive on him, and he looked so good, too. Why?

So, these are the feelings Junpei was talking about? I always get them, and lately it's been progressively worsening. I don't know how to fight this anymore, but in a drunken state I can't help but dive into this. I feel like I could have a heart attack at any moment when I'm around him. Does he feel that, too?

I growled and laid on the couch frustrated with myself. I just wanted him.

KOUJI'S POV

I stood in the bathroom for what seemed like hours. I didn't even have to take a piss anymore. Kouichi's been acting so clingy and extra shy with me at the same time. It's cute, but a little too cute. I know I can act clingy with him, too, but he just seems like a child sometimes.

It makes me wonder.

I'm wondering if the conversation he had with Junpei actually got through to him. I wonder if he really had those feelings and accepted them. I wonder if we could try this, whatever it was. I hope so.

I stared at myself in the mirror realizing how much the alcohol took its toll on me. My vision was a bit blurry and I couldn't focus on a single feature of mine in the mirror.

Maybe I should cut my hair or get a new jacket? Does Kouichi even like those things? I could change for him.

Wait, what am I thinking?

I exhaled roughly. These thoughts were ridiculous and getting out of hand. I actually wish Kouichi would just tell me I'm perfect so I didn't have to wonder anymore.

I walked out to the living room where I saw the cutest thing.

Kouichi laid on his side, cuddling the throw pillow. He seemed blissfully asleep with a light breath and a red cheek showing. I stepped to him quietly and crouched next to him. His bangs hung in his face like curtains hiding the prize. I pushed his hair back gently, revealing what I craved so much.

Fuck, he looks so pretty.

"Hey, let's go to bed," I whispered to him as he stirred.

He made a strained face, he wasn't happy about being woken up. His eyes fluttered open and gazed at me somewhat disoriented.

"Hey," I said again, smirking.

Kouichi smiled weakly. Suddenly he threw in arms around my neck and shoved his face near mine. Our lips barely touched and I was taken back. I lost my balance a bit and our lips ended up colliding.

I couldn't stop myself and I gave into every feeling and thought I ever had about him. The sensation I had from our tongues dancing together was complete bliss. Everything felt so right in the world. Nothing ever bothered me, I was at a scandalous peace.

I climbed on top of him, watching him squirm like an impatient angel beneath me. He grabbed onto my jacket, his hands felt so warm as they brushed my collarbone. I wanted more of his touch. I wanted to see more of his shifting. I just wanted him.

Our kisses become longer and more passionate, between every few collisions we took a breath of mutual understanding. Whatever was happening between us now just felt so right, almost as if we knew the righteous day would come. This time it just felt different, there was connected benefits for the both of us.

I didn't know what was going on, but I enjoyed every second of it.

"Hey," I broke the kiss, rubbing his cheek and lips with my thumb.

"Hey," Kouichi smiled, he's cheek were boiling red.

He leaned in to kiss me once more but I put my thumb on his lips. He stared at me in confusion.

"I need to.."

"What?" He blinked.

"I need to.. tell you something."

Read the comic on Tapas

"main sequence"

Sorry, I've been focusing A LOT on this comic. _