Rose gradually unsealed the envelope sent by her godmother, Ronnie. Finally, she burst into tears and felt like she wanted to die when she read it.
Rose
This is goodbye. As I am sure, you have guessed by now. I have blocked you again.
Bobby was so disturbed and bothered by your rude behavior he said you are NOT welcome in our home again.
I would welcome anyone who criticizes our choice to host you as a guest in their home.
Only YOU can change you. But first, you will have to STOP believing you are the victim.
Goodbye. Be well, Ronnie."
Rose curled up into a tight ball. She wanted to cry and never stop. Part of her wished she was dead. She'd spent her entire life being everyone's favorite punching bag and scapegoat.
She'd busted her ass numerous times with what she'd learned in therapy. She'd attempted a zillion times to utilize the skills she'd been given to fix her issues. But her mother never took her side in anything. Likewise, her twin sister continued to act disrespectfully violently and ridiculed people.
It hadn't mattered. She'd said quite clearly and even wrote it down more then once what the issues were in the family. It hadn't mattered the entire time she'd been in Florida. Her godmother never stopped nitpicking her.
She'd busted her ass, attempting to be courteous and follow the rules. How dare anyone call her a liar or rude! She'd gone out of her way to be polite, and she'd been treated like shit! But like everything else in her life. The only one at fault was herself. Did anyone else ever say they contributed to the problem? Did anyone else take accountability?
Rose DID take responsibility. The fact she trekked miles to both her aunt's house and the food pantry to apologize proved that. She never denied the fact she, like everyone else on the planet, would lose her temper, scream, and could behave rudely and childishly.
But she had NEVER physically attacked someone like her sister had. She wouldn't express to the police like her mother had, "How else was I suppose to get her to shut up?" when informed she'd committed assault. Moreover, she certainly wouldn't have blamed the failed vacation on the guest. Her godmother was just as blameworthy and never once had made her feel welcome.
All Rose wanted to do was cry and never stop. For a few moments, she genuinely considered it might be better if she vanished permanently. But, unquestionably, no one in her family ever showed her love, respect, or kindness.
Rose wouldn't take her life as she wasn't a coward. Except for the despair she felt at that moment? It truly did make her wish she was either dead or never born. That's how bad she was hurting.
That letter is word for word what my godmother sent me today. I didn't change one thing other then the names. But yes. This is exactly how I feel at the moment. I've not once lied about the abuse I've suffered. And I've been sharing it the only way I know how. So yes, every word of this story is accurate.