The story you are about to witness may SHOCK you. It may THRILL you. Or maybe you're just desensitized from reading crappy smut on this and other websites. Dark side of humanity, censors, you have been warned, blah blah blah, start.

Oh right, mild to moderate spoilers for horror movies including Child's Play, Scream, and Carrie.

A week passed. I was watching a documentary about the Italian mafia. Something about the cutthroat world of underground Naples. Boring. I called my parents to see how they were doing. They were fine. I told them I'd be gone when they were home. They were okay with that, as long as they knew when I would get back. Then I heard one of the attendants at the resort they were staying at, and I could tell why. They weren't in a mood to care, now that they had gotten a vacation to the Bahamas. Back to TV.

Then I got a phone call. "Hello."

"Hello." It was a woman on the other end, with a familiar voice, speaking English. I changed my language.

"Who is this?" As I responded, I was picking a movie to watch.

"Oh, I must have dialed the wrong number." I put the phone back. I went to make popcorn and However, it rang again. "Hello again" the woman

"Why did you call back?"

"To apologize, for dialing the wrong number."

"You're forgiven. Goodbye now."

She kept talking. "Hey, don't hang up."

"What?"

"I want to talk for a second."

"Okay then."

"Hey, is that something popping in the background?" The voice interjected. I was feeling deja vu from somewhere. It's like I had heard this in a movie.

"Oh, I've got popcorn. I was about to put on a movie."

"What were you planning to watch?"

"I was going to put on The Ring."

"Oh, do you like scary movies?"

"Sure." At this point the lady was almost flirting with me.

"What's your favorite?" she continued.

"I don't have one."

"You've got to have one."

"It's Scream, definitely." Yeah, this was 100% what she was doing.

"Hey, what's your name?" She was trying to salvage her sting line delivery, but I wouldn't let it happen.

"Why do you ask?" I asked. I paused for a second. "And next you'll say- because I want to know who I'm looking at."

"Because I want to know who I'm- hey, that was my big reveal line."

"Can we skip to the part where you cut me up and hang my corpse on the porch or something? Stop with the dated horror tropes. Get to the killing me part." Of course, I put all 14 percent in Killer Queen.

"Come on, can't we play a little game first?"

"I'll bite." This was my chance to make it as unfun as possible.

"Who was the killer in The Ring?"

"I haven't watched it yet. I bought it the other day."

"Have you watched Friday the Thirteenth?"

"I've watched Scream." That should have taken away all of the obvious ones, and given away that I wasn't getting tricked.

"Who was the killer in Carrie?"

"The main character, Carrie."

"Who was the possessed girl in The Exorcist?"

"Regan. I don't ignore the plot of horror movies."

"One last one. What was the name of the doll in Child's Play?"

"Chucky." And it was at that moment I knew I'd fricked up. Because Chucky was the guy who possessed the doll.

"And here I was thinking you'd actually seen Scream. You messed up just like Casey Becker. Have fun dying." At that moment, I dropped the phone and a hand reached out. I punched the hand with my stand, but it only recoiled slightly. Well, I had already touched it, so I pulled out my…

My stand didn't work. I should've seen this coming. I could see the stand, looking like some kind of black tie robot. It had a mechanical head, like the Terminator, but the rest of it was in a tuxedo and black designer cuffed pants.

"What does that stand do?" The stand was now standing. I knew it was about to pick up the nearest sharp object. Probably the knife I was using to cut vegetables, cause that horror scene still wasn't cleared up. I'd been ordering pizza.

From the phone, a voice yelled.

"Ha, you think everyone is supposed to explain what their powers do in detail? Because that's exactly what I'm about to do. You see, when I ask a question through a phone about a scary movie, and they answer wrong, my stand comes out and kills them. I can see through my stand's eyes, too- for instance."

"Why did you cut yourself off after just saying for-" and I knew that that was when the stand would strike. I punched the stand, however that did nothing. My kick went through it and the stand made a strike at my neck. I, being off balance, couldn't dodge. The knife went straight through my throat. The stand turned and left it there, because Josuke had burst open the front door.

"Why was someone screaming? Oh. I see." I had forgotten to narrate that I had been screaming. "You scream like a girl. Ha."

The stand turned towards me again, finished the decapitation, and jumped back out through the phone. If it had been anyone else (Rohan might have been able to do something), I would have definitely died. But it was Josuke, who quickly activated his ability.

"I'm pretty sure that that stand removed my stand ability." I tried to activate it again, but no luck.

"You should get it back soon. A stand only has a certain range. If the stand came from your phone, the user is probably in Morioh."

Another incredibly tall person went through the door. "Jeez, haven't you learned anything, Josuke? Stands can do anything. If that stand user has an ability like that, the ability would make sense coming from anywhere, and the range starting from whatever phone the stand came out of. Don't assume someone has to be in the same country, even." Jotaro had probably also heard me screaming.

"Actually, they were speaking English, even after I started in Japanese. It 100% could have been an international caller." Josuke frowned in shame.

"Anyway, the point is, we need to figure out where the call came from. In my experience I've had to trace calls. I'll go to your phone." Looking inside, the phone was still on the floor.

Jotaro went inside, and carefully inspected the phone. A hand reached out, and Jotaro did his teleport thing, leading directly to the stand getting pulled out of the phone somehow. Jotaro used his stand then to chop directly into the now prone stand's neck with two extended fingers, decapitating the stand.

"That was a little brutal."

"Automatic stands usually don't affect the user."

"Actually the lady mentioned she was using her eyes to see."

"..."

"So the stand wasn't 'automatic' or whatever."

Thump, thump, thump.

"The Speedwagon Foundation can clean this up."

"Serial killer calling from the bathroom. What an underused trope these days. And my stand still isn't activating."

"Yare yare daze…"

"Ok, I think I figured out a possible stand ability and plan." I made sure that they could hear. "I think that it's possible that the ability is that if it reenacts the start of a horror scene, the stand comes out and attacks. The stand might also be able to be given to others temporarily, like how in some franchises another person takes the serial killer role for a movie, like that one Friday the Thirteenth film.

"So plan of action. If I was the attempted killer here, I would frame me, get me into prison, and then during shower time it would be easy enough to reenact that scene from Psycho. First off, we need to get a dog or something good at detecting scents here. If that lady was upstairs, we go get her scent, and then find everything in the house with her scent and wash it all thoroughly. Then the police won't get this house if she actually came here and went missing. Then, we get Rohan over here and we read about any strange interaction she had with the killer. We can find out if the killer is in town, if my theory is right or not, and anything else that might be necessary."

"This is incredibly detailed. Almost creepy. Whatever. For once, we might stop a serial killer from… oh right, there's already a casualty." Josuke frowned.

We looked towards the stairs, and saw, as expected, a woman's head had rolled down. We didn't expect her still cringing and twisting in pain. Josuke instinctively went and healed her, her body floating back together.

"Scuse me miss, do you know what just happened?"

"Maybe. I'm pretty sure I just figured out the ability of Kujo Jotaro." I was wrong, completely wrong. I turned around and punched, coming face to metal with the stand from earlier. Jotaro did his teleport thing and started throttling the woman.

"Hey, bitch, stop that ability." You'll never guess who the hostage was. It was Josuke. Not me. She was actually very good at hostage selection.

Jotaro did that teleport thingy again, and the woman had been punched in the face and Josuke had been removed from the stand. Quickly, Josuke had the woman, and I was the hostage. And it was still a good idea. Now that Josuke was unable to reach for me, the stand could do any number of things and throw me in a random direction, and I'd be screwed.

"Now, what's your ability Jotaro? Tell me and I might spare everyone here."

"You realize that this would be a shallow victory. If you tell someone, I have the SPWF to cover it up. Your data would be useless if you killed me, and you can't stop me from contacting the SPWF. We can make your life a living hell. Or, you can just stop here. Then no one gets hurt."

"Like I hadn't thought that through. Which organization do you think I might be hoping to give this information to?"

"The Agents of DIO?"

"Yeah, and they'd pay millions of dollars for that kind of knowledge. They'd also likely provide some protection from your Speedwagon Foundation."

And that's when Rohan hacked through the wall with an axe. I could practically hear the sting from The Shining. The woman was turned into a book, and Rohan quickly resolved the situation.

"Ha, get ****ed!"

That is all I have prewritten. Gonna go write some more. See you in a few days!