Live. No matter what, live on!
Don't forget us, Kakarot!
Goku frowned, leaned back, arms folded against the nearest tree. The sound of his parents' voice—the last thing they'd said to him—refused to leave his head. It was blurry and muffled, like he'd heard it underwater but it was there.
It has always been there, sleeping, not knowing the proper time to rear its head. And he'd forgotten.
His mother had asked him, pleaded, really, with tears in her eyes that he not forget them. A desperate cry right from the depth of the soul.
And he'd forgotten.
Not on purpose. Never on purpose. But he had so few memories before he hit his head. Was he really the savage everyone said Grandpa had reported?
Or had he just been a scared child that had way too much strength for his own good? Had that been a Saiyan version of a tantrum? He remembered Gohan would throw those when he was little over little mundane things. Sonetimes when he was tired, or angry, or hungry.
Was it such a weird concept that three year old him would do the same, only with more ability to do damage?
And what kind of pain would someone be in that had lost their parents?
He rubbed his head, found that old scar. Had that fall really only erased his memory and hidden that pain? Was that what was different?
Goku huffed and took to the air. Letting the cold air of the mountain blow his hair. Inhaling, he took comfort in the familiarity.
He could see their faces now. It was still blurred, but with each passing hour, they became more clear. The tone of his mother's voice, the rumble of his father's.
The desperate sob in his mother's cry he'd heard before.
The shimmer in his father's eyes he'd seen before.
He saw it in Gohan. He saw it in Goten. The faint memory he had, the determination flowing through both his parents…it was tangible in Pan, as young as she was.
Landing, Goku walked along the trees. Mount Paouz. Where he grew up. He knew every bit of these trees, this land. Grandpa used to take him through these paths and laugh, pointing out every animal.
He was still the same, and yet not the same.
It wasn't like knowing who his parents were caused some deep, fundamental shift in his spirit. It was far more subtle than that. More like there was a piece of himself that he'd smears known about and now, he knew where it came from.
It wasn't about replacing what he knew about himself, more like…enhancing it.
He felt…lost.
Sadness, confusion, anger and an overall sense to know more and yet not having any means to find out more. He had no one to ask. Vegeta had been a child himself. He knew little more than their names.
For a moment, Goku pondered if he might pop down to hell and ask Raditz but he doubted he'd get the answers he wanted. Even without the dark nature Raditz had obtained, it wasn't the same as knowing.
He paused, briefly, hand draped on a nearby tree.
I did that to Goten, didn't I?
Seven years gone. And putting poor Gohan and ChiChi in an impossible position. How did you tell someone about a father that was no longer there? They could have all the videos and stories in the world but it wasn't the same. And nothing they could do would make it the same.
Didn't matter that Goku had meant the best by it. His parents had certainly meant the best by their sacrifice too. It wasn't a situation with easy answers.
He'd wanted his family to have peace.
His father and mother had wanted him to live.
It didn't take away the pain or the missing.
Closing his eyes, Goku pondered. He missed his grandfather every day. But it wasn't the same. He missed who his grandfather was. The kind of relationship they'd had.
This loss of his parents was different. It was missing…something he didn't know. He missed what could have been. What might have been. He missed…opportunity.
Snapping his eyes open, he looked skyward. "I'm gonna do what you asked me to do."
He took off at a run, leaping over familiar logs and around the bamboo fields to emerge onto the field in his front yard.
He stood there, took it in.
The little house he and Grandpa had lived in.
The larger house where Gohan was raised and where he and ChiChi figured out what love was.
It grew, took on new rooms for Goten.
It was bigger now and the land next to it was being cleared for a little house for Gohan's family. Gohan said it was just for "holidays" but everyone saw through that.
And sitting in the grass, gathered around a fire, was his family.
Goten perched by ChiChi, making funny faces at Pan. Pan, held tightly by her grandmother, clapping her hands and laughing. Gohan and Videl were pulling food off the fire.
As he made his way over, his granddaughter noticed first. With a squeak and stretch of her arms, she declared "G'an'pa! G'an'pa!"
Oh, was that great to hear.
"Dad!"
"Goku!"
"You're back!"
Live on, no matter what.
A smile spread across his face and he scooped first Gohan then Goten up in a tight embrace.
"Dad?"
"Are you okay, Dad?"
If he had to send them away…to keep them safe.
Wonder what kinda grandparents you woulda been Mom and Dad?
But he had choices his parents had been denied.
Releasing his two sons, he gave each of their heads a ruffle even as he moved to his daughter (screw the in-law, she was as much his kid as his sons) and his wife before giving little Pan a raspberry kiss to the belly, to her utter delight.
"Goku?"
He turned, smiled and gave his wife a firm kiss to the lips, laughing a bit as her face colored. "I'm fine, Chi. Just did some thinking."
"About what?" Videl asked, taking her daughter back so ChiChi could properly reciprocate her husband's affections. The woman was taken aback but after a moment returned his kiss with one of her own.
"I…" Goku rubbed the back of his head. "I remembered."
Goten perched at his feet as Goku moved to join his family around the fire. "Remembered what, Dad?"
"I remembered my own mom and dad."
Gohan stared. "You did? I thought you couldn't remember before the accident!"
Nodding, Goku rubbed that spot. "And lots of that's still true. But I remember…them." He pursed his lips. "My dad was called Bardock. My mom was Gine."
"Oh, Goku." ChiChi wrapped her arms tight around him. "That's wonderful! I bet they were amazing people!"
"I dunno, ChiChi. I remember them but…not much about them." He gave her a sad smile. "But…yeah, I think they probably were."
He broke the quietness by pulling Goten into his lap and tugging Gohan and Videl over with his free arm. ChiChiChi settled to his side.
"But just made me think, ya know?" He looked around at his family. There was Gine—his mom in Goten's face. There was Bardock—his dad—in Gohan's eyes. And in Pam's whole being, that relentlessness, the refusal to quit.
And he saw ChiChi in Gohan's smile. Heard himself in Goten's declarations of pride. Saw Videl in Pan's face.
And he heard Grandpa Gohan in all their love.
"I was thinkin'. How 'bout we do one of our mountain explorin' trips tomorrow? There's lots on this mountain you all don't know about and little Pan's barely seen any of it!"
"Tomorrow?" Gohan almost said he had a meeting. But the way his father had hugged him and Goten. The way his eyes looked. There was…well, not just desire. There was a need there. Like he knew something…
Well, maybe he did. Learning about his parents but not knowing them? Gohan's heart sunk at the prospect of never having the chance to know his parents. Never having that connection.
And he wasn't one to turn down a chance to spend time with his family.
When Videl nodded, he said "Sounds good to me, Dad. Great weather for it. I can show Goten and Pan my hiding spots."
Videl giggled, recalling him showing her some when they'd been dating. "Maybe not all of them…"
Goten beamed. "I can show you the places Mom showed me too! And we can show Pan!"
ChiChi eyed her husband. "Don't you have training with Whis?" Maybe there was a hint of spice to her question but she saw in his eyes…she wanted him to say it.
"Whis has been around since time started." Goku tickled Pan a bit to the belly and giggled along with her. "He can wait." Goku lifted his face and met his wife's eyes. "I've got more important things to do."
His parents told him to live.
He intended to do just that.