"Fuck," Lena blurted suddenly, having finally looked down at her phone and noticed 13 new calls and 5 new voicemails while sitting alone on the couch beside her partner.
"You okay?" Kara asked quizzically, glancing over at Lena and seeing the look of intense concern on her face.
"Yeah, um… Just… my mom. She called… um… a few times."
"She's pissed about the party, isn't she?" the blonde sighed, pushing a hand through her hair. "She's gonna know you were with me."
"Nah. I'll just tell her I went out and got fucked up. She'll be mad about that but won't know I was with you, so she'll scream at me and threaten to lock me in the studio until I work on the album she's been pressuring me to finish."
"You're recording an album?"
"Multi-talented, I'm afraid. As you know, I've done a decent amount of singing in certain shows, so… it's the next logical step in my career or whatever."
"That's… kind of amazing. Who writes the songs for you? What are they about?"
"Kara," Lena chuckled. "It's stupid. Don't worry about it. And… I write my own songs…"
"Seriously?" Kara gaped, staring in disbelief.
"Kara! This isn't the time to discuss my stupid career choices. I gotta figure out how to chill my mom out."
"You should probably head home…"
Lena shook her head rapidly in defiance, saying, "No way."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to see her stupid, manipulative, controlling face."
"Whoa, Lena. That's kinda harsh."
"You have no idea what she's put me through," the brunette asserted, tone instantly becoming harsh and snappy.
"S-Sorry…" Kara stammered, dropping her gaze. "I just—"
"Forget it. I'll leave, if that's what you want."
"Lena, wait—"
Kara grabbed for her girlfriend's hand, but Lena pulled away too quickly, and she missed. Rising from her seat, the young celebrity grabbed her handbag and made for the door, causing tears to well in Kara's eyes and her heart to race.
"Lena, come on," she pleaded. "You don't have to leave. I just don't want you to be in trouble!"
"I'm already in trouble. It doesn't matter. Besides, she'll believe me when I tell her I was getting fucked up. It's what I do. She'll just never let me live it down and she might chain me to my bedpost and lock me in my room." Laughing bitterly at her own words, Lena continued, "Anyway, if you didn't want me to leave, you wouldn't have told me to."
"Lena, please. I didn't mean it like that. I just—"
"Look, I don't want to hear it, okay? I'm out."
"But—"
Before Kara could finish her desperate protest, Lena was out the door. She followed the brunette there and started to cry as she gazed through the window, seeing the girl climb into her car and peel recklessly away from the curb.
"Hey, what's wrong?" a voice suddenly startled her, causing her to jump and whip around in shock.
"What are you even doing up, Alex?"
"I was getting a glass of water, thank you very much. Now, tell me what's going on."
"Why do you feel the need to know everything?" Kara spat, tears still flowing down her cheeks.
"Because I care about you, idiot," her sister sighed, stepping forward and taking her hand. "Tell me what's wrong, Kar. Please."
"I hurt her feelings, and she left," the blonde sniffled. "I didn't mean to, but—"
To Kara's surprise, her sister wrapped her arms around her torso and hugged her gently, saying, "It's gonna be okay. Couples have spats. It doesn't mean anything. You'll both be okay."
"How do you know? How do you know I didn't ruin everything?"
With a subtle smile, Alex answered, "Because I see the way she looks at you."
Wiping her eyes, Kara whimpered, "Really?"
"Yep. The girl's head-over-heels."
"Are you sure?"
"Very. I might not trust her, but it's obvious that she's crazy about you. She wouldn't be showing caring attention to your family if she wasn't. She'll come around, Kara. Don't worry. Just give her some time, get some sleep, and follow up with another apology in the morning."
Kara took a deep breath and nodded her head, squeezing her and savoring the hug from her sister that she hadn't gotten in years.
"Thanks," the blonde whispered.
"Love you," Alex mumbled, looking away, obviously embarrassed to have shared her feelings.
"I love you too, sis."
This earned a small, involuntary smile from her sister, who released her form her embrace and said, "Come on. It's late. Let's both get to bed, okay?"
With a slow nod, Kara followed her sister up the stairs and brushed her teeth before heading to her room and passing out from the exhaustion of crying and stressing and just feeling terrible all-around.
~!~!~
When Lena finally presented herself to her mother, it was very early in the morning - maybe two or three - and she was waiting up for her in the foyer, sitting on the regal steps to the second floor with her arms crossed over her chest. Lena hadn't bothered to return her calls.
"Where the fuck have you been, Lena Kieran?"
Scowling, the girl replied, "Fuck if you care."
"I do care. You missed your entire party and embarrassed the hell out of me! How could you?! Where were you?! If you were with—"
"I was getting fucked up, okay? I don't want your stupid fucking publicity show. I don't care about my birthday. I'd rather get fucked up than be around you anyway."
Mouth agape, Lena's mother stared at her furiously and barked, "Go to your room. Immediately."
"Cool," Lena mumbled with a smirk, rushing up the stairs to do exactly as she was told.
Once she was in her room alone with the door shut and locked, she collapsed on her bed and pulled a bottle of pills from under her mattress, popping two in her mouth before falling into a dazed, sedated state of sleep.
~!~!~
Lena woke to a few texts from Kara in the morning and sighed when she saw them. She didn't feel capable of handling any other emotions, so she locked the phone and set it face-down next to her on the bed. Rubbing her eyes with frustration, she listened to the blood rushing in her ears.
Eventually, she picked up the phone again, feeling a growing longing for her partner and a deep sorrow in her chest. Kara's message read:
I'm sorry, Lena. I really am.
I love you, and I would never want you to leave.
I never want to live another moment without you by my side.
Feeling her heart thud heavily as it swelled with affection and surprise at Kara's tender words, Lena texted back her reply.
I love you too, Kara. And I'm sorry I left. I guess I got triggered and was just feeling hurt and upset. I know now that you didn't mean it the way that I took it. Thank you for clarifying and being patient with me.
Lena smiled when Kara texted back immediately.
I will always be patient with you. But hey… Can you call me? I feel like I need to talk to you about something…
This time, Lena's heart sank. That certainly didn't sound good. It was basically the equivalent of, 'We need to talk.' So, with slightly shaking hands, Lena initiated the phone call.
"Hey," Kara answered, sounding sad.
"What's wrong?" Lena blurted anxiously, feeling sure that Kara's next words would be an impending breakup
"Nothing, I just…"
"Tell me."
"I'm… just… worried about you."
"Huh? Why?"
"Something you said last night made me… concerned."
A short pause fell between them before the brunette replied, "What did I say?"
"You mentioned… um… that 'getting fucked up' was your thing."
"Oh. Um…"
"I just… I mean… I just want to know, like… what that means."
"Listen… Kara… Celebrity life is complicated, and—"
"Don't bullshit me or talk around the subject, Lena. Just tell me the truth."
"Yeah, okay? I get fucked up… er… every once in a blue moon."
"What does that mean, though?"
Sighing, Lena answered, "I dabble."
"Lena, seriously. What does that mean?"
"In this lifestyle, people just… do whatever. You know? And I just… sometimes partake."
"In what, exactly?"
"I mean, booze, obviously. But… maybe some other stuff. At times. Occasionally."
Kara could hear the nervousness in Lena's voice, and it definitely didn't give her any warm fuzzies.
"Lena… What other stuff?"
"I've done a few things."
"Stop dicking around," Kara said sharply. "You're lying by omission, and that's not how you build a relationship."
"Look, now it's mostly alcohol, okay? Like, a lot of it. But… that's just part of the gig, you know? To relax and deal with the stress of the fame, I guess. But I used to… um… do… harder stuff."
"Like what?" the blonde asked, voice cracking mid-question.
"Come on, Kara. It's not a big deal. It's just something people do when—"
"What other things, Lena?"
"I've tried… um… meth…"
Shocked by this information but sensing that this was only a minute part of the full story, Kara warned her, "If you can't be honest with me, this isn't gonna work."
"I've used everything, alright?!" Lena snapped. "Everything. Molly, coke, Oxys, crack, and heroin. All of it."
Taking in a steadying breath, Kara said softly, "Wow, Lena."
"This is why I didn't want to fucking tell you!"
"Lena—"
"I knew you'd fucking do this. It's not even a big deal, okay? I haven't done anything other than booze and pills for a long time."
"Do what, Lena? Care about you? Be concerned?"
"You know what? Save your fucking judgment. I know you're Straightedge but that doesn't mean everyone else has to be. It's okay to have a little fun sometimes, you know. You should try it sometime. Might help you fucking relax."
When Lena ended the call, Kara was left shocked, hurt, and offended, but all she could do was cry. There was no room to be angry. Only tears and frustration were accessible, and since that was all she had, she embraced them, punching her pillow over and over again as she sobbed.