- Is it just a few minutes' walk and we'll be there? - Beckett grumbled grudgingly, staring at the asphalt path that wound around the edge of the pond. - Wouldn't it have been better to walk around the block of new buildings from the other side? And why did I suddenly believe the path to the car through the park would be incomparably closer?
Kate slowed her pace and pressed her palm to her cheek. As she stroked her temple, she felt a stupefying fatigue building up on her. Certainly today's strenuous day, with the early wake-up and subsequent intense running through the streets, hadn't gone unnoticed, even by her trained body.
Esposito woke her at two in the morning, but he was both polite and cavalier at the same time. Yawning loudly and longingly, Kate immediately dialed Castle, and further events sprang out of the horn of plenty.
After a couple of hours at the crime scene, a short time later they were scouring the surrounding neighborhoods for clues and witnesses, returning to the station only to sip coffee, take notes, and, after posting fresh photos on the murder board, run out again into the cool summer night.
Between five in the morning and five in the evening, they stopped by Laney's several times, looked at a dozen surveillance tapes, interviewed a lot of people, and chased the suspect through the floors of the building under construction. When the police car door slammed behind Eliot Ness, all that remained was to get to the car abandoned in the alley.
From this point the most interesting, but most "outrageous" events of the day began. Naturally, the "culprit" for everything that happened was Castle. After a short, but heated discussion he put his phone in Kate's face and with his finger on the map of the block he was frothing at the mouth, proving the insignificance of the distance to the alley. All he had to do was to skirt the new building and pass the dam of a chain of ponds in an old park, enjoying the scenic views of perennial maples and the air free of the ubiquitous car fumes.
At first glance, Castle's arguments seemed convincing, and she mechanically agreed, secretly wishing she were home sooner, so she could curl up on her bed and stretch her legs with pleasure. Apparently, the fatigue that overpowered her had somehow dulled her usual sobriety and rationality, and... Though perhaps it was more than that.
To her great regret, the "paltry" way turned out to be not at all like that. Instead of a chain of ponds, the only pond, shaped and stretched like a rowing canal, stood in their way. It was a long detour to get around it, and Kate was already cursing herself for being too soft-spoken and unnecessarily accommodating. At first she was somewhat distracted by Castle's casual chatter, but when, after an hour's journey, the distance to the car remained the same "as to Texas," Kate sensed that something was wrong with her.
To say she was insanely tired was nothing. Her head hummed like a beehive of angry bees, a throbbing pain pounded inexorably in her temples, her eyelashes were clumpy and would not open, and her neck was numb, as if it were in a "steel" grip from which there was no escape. By all appearances Beckett could have survived on only one indispensable tool, but, as luck would have it, this part of the park had no mobile cafes or hot-dog vendors, and no mobile coffee machines to speak of.
Catching herself on the wisp of a thought, Kate pressed her lips together sadly. Now she was starting to think like Castle, too, like a flu virus, infecting herself with his fantasy inferences, which were of no use at the moment.
"Coffee, at least a cup of coffee, and by all means rest!" - Beckett kept repeating to herself the same phrase, like some magic spell, and, glancing furtively at Rick, contemplated the safest way to ask him for a certain favor.
Kate's labored legs could barely support her body, and if she had wished for anything, Rick would have rushed to the ends of the earth for it. He had realized his mistake long ago, and he looked miserable-unhappy. Castle even stopped waving his hands; he stuffed them into the pockets of his jeans and hunched down like an old man.
And so they walked, silent, absorbed in their own thoughts, avoiding to look at each other.
The narrow asphalt path laid unhurriedly beneath their feet; the mischievous breeze blew from the maple twigs and tangled in Kate's curls, and the evening itself was indeed a marvelous one. The warm, gentle weather without the midday heat, the fresh air with the scent of leaves and cut grasses, the rippling mirror of the pond, with its scattering of waterfowl, really appealed to peace and tranquility. Of that, Castle was certainly not mistaken.
Kate picked up a stained pebble with the toe of her shoe, suddenly caught herself thinking that her anger and annoyance suddenly evaporated like smoke, and now she wanted to feel pity for Rick in a friendly way. After all, it was Castle, who with the fearlessness of a superman had jumped out of a second-story window right on the back of Ness, knocking him down.
Remembering Rick's undisguised delight at riding the defeated Eliot, Kate pulled the corners of her lips apart in a meek smile, but it wasn't in her plans to cut Castle any slack just yet.
"Let the writer's ego suffer a little more!" - Beckett thought vindictively, watching the distraught Castle with a hidden slyness. He intercepted her sparkling look and, interpreting it in his own way, slouched even more.
- Forgive me, Beckett. I'm sorry I got caught up in outdated city plans," Rick mumbled sadly, straining to find a way to make amends. The sight of a tired, disgruntled-looking Kate bothered him more and more. - The last time I was in this park was thirty years ago, and I didn't know that the chain of ponds was joined by a common canal.
- Ignorance doesn't excuse you, Castle," Kate rolled her eyes adamantly, and temporarily covered herself with her palms, massaging the pads of her eyes, "try to think of another excuse, or just surprise me," she taunted him.
- Surprise you? - Rick suddenly perked up. He, too, was tired, and now he was searching feverishly for a way out of the situation. I wondered if I should just ask her to sit for a while. Rick searched his eyes and even squinted at the sudden insight. There, and the bench was perfect!
Castle stopped at a time-darkened wooden bench with a high back, hidden under the crown of a huge maple tree. He looked questioningly at the outwardly serene Kate, bent down, and exhaled sharply, blowing the dust off the varnished wooden planks. He sat down on the edge of the seat, as if to test its strength, and then suddenly stretched to his full height with his arms under his head.
- Won't you try it? - Castle's cheeks puffed up in unbelievable bliss, his eyebrows playing slyly, but he was on the wrong one. Mimicking a nodding smile, Kate yawned tiredly and indifferently.
- Do you want to try on the role of a homeless man? Are you that fed up with creditors?
- There's no reason for me to try it on," Castle stood upright and moved around a little more. - I'm just demonstrating a man's ability to live in any atypical environment. And by the way, just so you know, there were times in my life when I ran away from home and slept in the park on a bench. Not for long, but there were!
- Castle, really? - Kate rounded her eyes in amazement. Somehow, what she knew about him didn't mesh with what she'd just heard. Beckett folded her arms across her chest, furrowing her brows in mute question and nibbling thoughtfully at the corner of her lip. Lively interest flashed in her eyes for a moment, but a second later her face was covered with a mask of impassivity.
Beckett cautiously approached the pew, where Castle's welcome sparked. Patting the frayed seat with his left palm, Rick smiled openly and invited Kate kindly with smooth, slow nods, but whatever it ultimately meant, the distance between them still existed. Beckett cautiously crouched at arm's length from Castle and pursed her lips dryly. Mr. Writer should have shown that she was still angry.
Now it was clear exactly how much energy she'd expended all day. Her feet itched uncomfortably with fatigue, her calf muscles hummed like strings, and nervous goose bumps spread slowly down her thighs. At least the clean air of the park was both soothing and invigorating at the same time. Rarely and deeply breathing, Beckett moved her toes with pleasure, inexorably wishing to throw off her shoes and walk barefoot on the pleasantly prickly grass, feeling the pleasant coolness of the ground burning from walking feet.
The image of desire was so vivid that Kate even smiled dreamily, but then, in a moment, she shrugged her shoulders in displeasure. You can't indulge in something like that in front of Castle. Not under any circumstances. There was no telling what kind of calf's delight and crazy associations in his windy head the barefoot image of Detective Beckett strolling through the grass with her shoes thrown behind her back. He wouldn't sit still and would fidget and glare at her, speeding up her heart's already frantic pace.
Putting a finger to her chin, she frowned, shaking her head grudgingly. You can't, no. Not yet. Maybe sometime in the distant future, but definitely not now. Better to indulge carelessly in the rare moments of relative peace, of which there is never much. Beckett leaned back with pleasure, not letting Castle out of her sight, but showing indifference. No need to show weakness.
- So, are you gonna surprise me or not? - Kate nibbled her lower lip, expectantly and with unconcealed defiance, and carefully flattened her was relieved by the change in her mood. Rick clasped his hands together at the back of his head and tilted his head back with a dreamy smile, watching the carved leaves sway in the playful breeze.
- You must! The first time I ran away from home was after a fight with Steve Wyatt," Rick grinned happily, remembering. - His family wasn't poor, but his upbringing was obviously flawed. He was a smug, swaggering, vindictive type, with an inflated self-esteem and an irrepressible desire to stick it out. It must be said that Steve did not suffer from lack of imagination, but for some reason it was enough only for petty nastiness, and for despicable deeds. He threw rocks at cats and dogs, planted buttons on classmates and teachers, and smeared gum on girls' hair and clothes. For a while I got along with him, but when his pranks caused my roommate Nora Klein to break her arm, I couldn't stand it.
Pausing for a moment, Castle sighed regretfully:
- Kate, am I boring you with my tales?
He expected an ironic comment, but got absolutely nothing in return.
- Kate? - Perplexed, Rick turned his head and opened his mouth in surprise.
- Beckett...! Kate...! - Castle called loudly, but one look was enough to explain her silence. Exhausted from a hard day, Beckett fell asleep in the same position in which she had crouched on the bench. Her arms hung limply along her body, her relaxed body sliding softly and slowly across the lacquered slats of the backrest straight toward Rick.
Castle reacted instantly, not even having time to think about the possible unpleasant consequences of his step. Not allowing Kate to fall over completely, Rick gently put his arm around her shoulders and, pulling her toward him, gently lowered her right cheek onto his thigh.
Chapter 2
Beckett only mumbled something unconsciously in response. She fidgeted a little, unsuccessfully searching for a comfortable position on the hard bed, then suddenly rolled over onto her other side. She curled up into a defenseless roll, tucked her palms under her cheek, twitching her lips childishly, parted her lashes for a second, staring blankly into space, and fell silent, breathing quietly and measuredly.
The whole time Kate was fumbling beside him, Castle sat as a pillar of salt, his face covered in his palms. Afraid to breathe, afraid to move, he feverishly prepared all sorts of self-excuses, but Beckett's brain, restrained by a serene sleep, was clearly not ready for a sober assessment of the situation.
- Phew, it seems that we have missed it! - whispered Castle. Carefully exhaling the accumulated air in his chest, he carefully crossed himself. Lord knows not what these seconds had cost him, but it was impossible to imagine a more ridiculous and unreal picture than this.
Formidable, proud, "correct" Detective Beckett peacefully, like a house kitten, was dozing beside him, though to her image it would more accurately fit the definition of a sleeping young lioness. And if she were accidentally awakened, then ... Castle once more carefully crossed himself and raised his eyes to heaven; from the attack of wild imagination even Rick got a little shiver.
First, his attention could be regarded as a brazen attempt on her independence, with all the consequences that followed.
Secondly, the fragile bridges of trust and understanding between them, irrevocably crumbling, would easily return their relationship to the initial period of acquaintance, and Rick could not allow that. The very idea that Beckett's personal "wall," "squeezed" by his titanic efforts, would suddenly re-forge itself with an "iron concrete" shell, depressed Castle to the point of deep despair.
That was why he sat like that, not moving, not knowing how to explain to Beckett (in case she woke up!) that her head was resting on his leg without any hindsight. It was just a friendly, innocent favor (but with a pang in her heart and without much hope for the future).
Sighing sadly, Castle crossed his arms, numb from the uncomfortable position, on his stomach, trying not to hurt Beckett. Thank God no one was forbidden to look at her.
Kate slept soundly, as travelers weary from a long journey do, unconsciously trusting in a man whose sincerity of thought she feared to believe. Her face, so calm and serene, was free of the rigid crease that was a sure sign of her discontent, the stern lines of her brows visibly softer, her breathing whistling softly through her half-open mouth.
Tilting his head slightly, Castle gazed intently into her peaceful face, incredibly familiar to the last line, but feeling as if he were seeing it for the first time.
And Kate... She was smiling in her sleep, sweet and uncomplicated and completely at home, and Rick was smiling with her. In fact, that was exactly how he had imagined her to be: fragile, defenseless, free from the heavy oppression of the past, without the impenetrable "shell" she usually hid from him in the first place, but did he deserve it?
He pressed his palms together, rubbing the unrelentingly itchy pads of his fingers with an effort, and the reason was clearer than I'd ever seen it. He wanted to touch Kate, just a little bit, just a touch, to remember her until he could see her, in case their relationship wasn't meant to be something deeper and more passionate.
Though, what's deeper than that... Castle sighed sadly, bitterly watching Beckett's gently rising ribcage. They had been together for three years, but not as "together" as one might see it, but as long-time co-workers or simply good neighbors with mutual sympathy. But what to do, how and where to go from here? He already gives her freedom when she stubbornly doesn't make a counter move. He is ready to surround her with hospitality and care, no matter what she says in her heart or whatever she hints at. He knows how to be patient and hope for the best, though he's panicked that there's little hope left.
Castle clasped his fingers on the back of his head, stretched carefully, arching his back stiffened by the rigid support, breathed out noisily, with a gasp, trying to calm the emotion stirring in him. Once again his immense self-confidence was the cause of her suffering, and the slightest of her displeasure was enough to convict himself of all the universe's sins. True, there must be a way out. And though guilt gnawed at him, he would admit his mistake because... Because he needed Kate like fresh air, like a breath of pure water, like love lurking in his heart. It's long overdue for her to enter his home as his sovereign mistress, but Beckett, hiding in himself, continues to play the game of disbelief and aloofness.
A dull ache in his calf muscles distracted him from his sad thoughts, and only now did Castle realize that the broken bar, which he had not immediately paid attention to, had sagged under his weight, and the sharp edges of the neighboring bars were mercilessly crashing into his relaxed body.
With an exasperated expression of discontent, Rick eyed Beckett's placid face warily. Perhaps even his diabolical patience wasn't enough to sit still for who knows how long, and so, plan "B" had to be implemented urgently. Soberly assessing the riskiness of the event, Castle carefully leaned on his hands and lifted slightly, controlling the position of her head, then gently moved his feet "from himself to himself". After a few minutes of jewel-like acrobatics, the circulation in her veins was almost restored, and her legs were incomparably lighter. Smiling to his dexterous self, Castle sat back down and, relaxed, spreading his arms along the backrest, exposed his face to the nimble mischievous breeze.
Just an hour ago, shy and timid, it was gradually gaining strength, surrounding the still silhouettes in an invigorating whirl, amused and mischievous. The wind gently stroked people's faces, fluttered their hair, until finally it scattered her thick, dark brown strands across Kate's stubborn forehead. Beneath the soft force of nature they moved relentlessly, now touching the tip of her nose, now tickling her ruddy cheek, now touching her eyelashes, and Kate suddenly sneezed softly. Her eyelids fluttered, and for a second it seemed to Castle that she was practically awake. If he did nothing, he would suffer the inevitable punishment of clingy fingers and a piercing, brown-green stare that could placate anyone. Especially if that someone has been here for a long time.
For a few more seconds Castle fought hard against himself, but to save her short, fragile peace would have to risk it. Touch not on a foolish whim, but for the sake of caring. The most important thing is not to wake her up, so that when she's awake she doesn't know what's going on.
The slight movement of her sensual lips and the faint, sleepy cry made Rick give up all doubt. He would be very, very circumspect, and the rest would be as it came. Carefully picking up a disheveled strand with two fingers, Castle gently laid it in its place, and unable to restrain himself any longer, ran the back of his finger over his cheek, pink from sleep. Somehow he knew exactly what Beckett felt like: supple, soft and delicate as velvet. And the face! How serene and even defenseless her face was! Oh, my God!
Her fingers trembled with excitement, and Rick clenched a fist with his free hand, tersely adjusting her soft hair with the laconic movements of the other, but without any "liberties. Strangest of all, Kate's lips barely moved at almost every touch of his, as if in sincere gratitude.
A sad smile lit up Castle's face. From the outside his "tutelage" looked rather amusing, but Rick didn't notice himself getting involved in this simple but peculiar game. It was just the sort of thing he'd been missing lately. And even if they never got close, he would keep the memorable touch as the greatest value he had suffered in three years. He doesn't need much, just a little, until she sees.
Another gust of wind blew through the lush crown, confidently shook the flexible branches, carried away into the distance, and a large caterpillar suddenly loomed up in front of the astonished Castle's face.
He was surprised when Rick hiccupped loudly and almost jumped up with a grimace of disgust, but he was able to catch it in time. He glanced cautiously at the strength of Kate's sleep, and leaned back on the bench with a frown, displeased at the uninvited guest.
The disgustingly acid-colored caterpillar, without any pattern on its smooth matte body, swayed nonchalantly on a thin string of mica, moving its jaws ineffectively. The caterpillar was evidently disgusted by the awkward position somewhere between heaven and earth, and its thick, with two rows of shapely legs, its segments slowly moved upward on the flimsy string, but the gravity of the earth was stronger. The string snapped silently, and the insect flopped softly onto Kate's cheek. Indignantly, it wriggled in one place, scratching the velvet skin with its legs, irritating it and tickling it, then folded into a brace and twisted disgruntledly backward, leaving behind a sluggish clot of yellow-green mush.
- Pst! - Seeing Kate's lashes flutter, Castle squeezed the troublemaker gently, so as not to crush it, with two fingers, and moved his hand slightly to the side. He crumpled a little, and, holding his breath, carefully dipped the pad of his thumb into the stain to wipe it away. There was a certain nervousness in Castle's movements, however, because Kate suddenly opened her eyes. She stared at her with a hazy, dreamlike gaze for a while, and then, matching her senses, she turned her head slightly.
Their eyes met, and in surprise Castle was dumbfounded. He was expecting a hurricane of discontent, a storm of anger, but instead he saw calm, homely warmth, and... trust? Had he really gotten away with innocent insolence? Rick smiled charmingly, broadly, but his calculation was fundamentally flawed. Her perplexed raised eyebrows drew together in severity, her fists clenched nervously. With her lips pressed tensely, Kate squinted her eyes suspiciously.
- Castle, what are you doing? - she asked in a trembling voice.
A loud, involuntary hiccup, Castle was just as numb, holding a soiled finger a few inches from her cheek.
- I-I-I... It's... N-nothing," he mumbled, blushing like a misbehaving teenager. - Here, I took the caterpillar off, and it... it made a mess.
- Castle, really? - Kate's voice had grown stronger, with the familiar sarcasm, and her eyes were picky and mistrustful. - You couldn't think of anything more plausible?
- Plausible? Nothing! - With a tragic sigh, Rick held the wriggling caterpillar close to her face. - Look, if you don't believe me!
With a surprised chuckle, Kate eyed the unsightly insect and the sticky yellow-green marks on its fingers, then, with ill-concealed relief, lowered her feet to the ground. Her hand dived into her pants pocket for a handkerchief.
- Where's the rest of it? - Beckett asked muffledly, glancing in Castle's direction, her voice lacking firmness.
- Here," Rick pointed to his cheek and bent down to put the insect in the grass. The caterpillar, curled up in a ring, lay motionless for a while, then got up on its feet and, still not believing its happiness, slowly crawled away.
- Is that all? - spitting on the edge of her handkerchief, Kate gestured lightly to her cheek. She made a few circular motions and tucked the handkerchief into her pocket. Castle's beet red face and downcast gaze made her smile strangely. When Castle lifted his head and nodded affirmatively, he never knew what was more in her gaze: kindness, shyness, soft irony, sincere joy, or something else, without exact definition. Or maybe it was just a game of his imagination, or a cruel mockery of fate, or else... Castle turned away, biting his lips sadly and looking at the toes of his boots. No more pipe dreams, fleeting and ghostly illusions, reality is much closer and more painful.
Kate averted her eyes, too. She patted her thighs with a furrowed brow, shaking off her dusty pants. With a careless gesture, she ruffled her mussed hair, echoing the ruffled breeze.
- How long have we been... sitting here? - Beckett asked, not even trying to look at her watch.
- I don't know," Castle sighed heavily, swallowing a rough lump, "I wasn't counting the time...
Rick was silent, afraid of saying too much. He shrugged his shoulders, absently watching the caterpillar as it crawled away, then turned away, suspecting that Kate was having a hard time, too. There was too much left unsaid between them, too long they had been so loudly, so hopelessly silent.
Beckett covered her face with her palms, massaging her eyelids, trying to make sense of what had happened. Be that as it may, she was in urgent need of Lainey's help, and this deficiency required immediate correction. Tiredly pushing herself off the bench, Kate straightened to her full height, adjusting her blouse, and measured Castle's drooping figure with a sympathetic look.
- Lanie didn't call? - Beckett grasped at the familiar theme like a life-saving straw. - It was about time the forensic results showed up.
- Why calls on a night like this," Castle joked sadly, standing beside her.
Kate looked at her partner sideways and bowed her head as if she, too, suddenly felt guilty. She held back a strand of hair that was hanging over her temple, and elbowed Rick lightly in the side in a friendly encouragement:
- Okay, Castle, time to go home. See you tomorrow!