The next two weeks crawled by like molasses rolling uphill.
Finally, though, Lena called.
"H-Hey," came the voice on the other end of the line.
"Lena! Hi!"
"I'm sorry, Kara."
"What? Why?"
"I relapsed by self-harming."
"Lena…"
"But I'm still very sober, and they're helping me. I'm okay now. It was in the first few days. I wanted to tell you sooner, but… you know… two week rule. I'm really sorry, babe. I know you're disappointed in me, but I'm really trying, and—"
"Oh, sweetheart. I'm not disappointed in you at all. I'm proud of you for getting the help you need," Kara assured her. "So, so proud of you. I know this is hard."
"It really, really is, Kar," Lena sighed. "I just wanna go home."
"I know, babe," the blonde told her. "But you've got this. You just need to stick it out."
"I love you, Kara. I gotta go, though. They won't let us stay on the phone long."
"I love you, too, Lee," Kara whispered back, voice cracking as she said goodbye. "Talk to you later."
"Bye, honey."
"Bye."
~!~!~
The next call Kara received was - quite shockingly - from Lena's mother.
"Mrs. Luthor?" Kara answered the call, having saved the woman's contact information for just-in-case reasons but never having actually spoken with her on the phone. "Is everything okay?"
"Lena got kicked out of rehab," Lillian explained. "She's a fucking wreck, Kara. An absolutely steaming mess."
"But… But…" Kara protested dumbly, unable to process what she was hearing. "Why? How?"
"Apparently, according to administrative staff at the facility, she managed to obtain illicit substances while in the program and used them on property, becoming belligerent towards staff and other residents."
"Are… Are you serious?"
"Of course I'm serious, Kara! You think I'd call you to tell you all this for no reason? As a joke?"
"No, no! Of course not! I'm sorry, Mrs. Luthor, I'm just… in shock."
With a sigh, Lillian lowered her voice and said, "I'm more disappointed than I am shocked. I had a feeling this would happen."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because she did this for you, not herself."
"But—"
"Kara, I know you want to believe that she wants to get better… but she's been living this life for so long that it's all she knows. The only good thing in her life is you. But I promise you, Kara… this isn't about you. If it was about you, she would've stayed and done this properly. What you need to understand is that she's not choosing drugs over you. The drugs have chosen her, and she's struggling to break away."
"Yeah… I don't know…"
"It's not personal."
"It sure feels that way. She's throwing away everything!" Kara shouted, suddenly more angry than shocked or sad.
"I know, Kara. I know."
"Thank you for calling me," the blonde whispered.
It was absolutely surprising that Lillian would, in fact, call her. Kara hadn't even really thought that Lena's mother cared for her all that much, when in the beginning, she'd been so dead set against them even seeing each other. But now it seemed that the tables had turned. Perhaps that was simply because Kara had become a bit of a star herself and was making good publicity for her daughter. But either way, Kara hoped that it was more than that. She hoped Lillian could see all the love in her heart that she had for Lena.
"So, what now?" Lillian asked.
Kara rubbed her temples with her free hand and thought long and hard about her answer before replying, "I can't do it, Mrs. Luthor. I can't. I love her more than anything… but I can't."
Lena's mother nodded, which Kara couldn't see, and told her, "I understand."
"Where is she?"
"Who knows. Likely, she's out getting trashed, at this point. She hasn't been home."
"Is she answering her calls?" Kara asked anxiously.
"Not from me," Lillian sighed. "I'm sure she'd answer you, though."
"I don't know if I can talk to her right now…" the blonde confessed.
"It's okay, Kara. Honestly, you need to take care of yourself first. And right now… Lena's not healthy. For herself or for you."
That was when Kara started to cry. This reality tore a hole in her heart that felt like it was causing fatal internal bleeding.
"It's okay, sweetheart. Addiction is crazy, and it really hurts the loved ones of the addicts. But if you don't take care of yourself, it'll suck you in too."
"I don't want to leave her," Kara sobbed into the phone, tears dripping down her cheek and onto the screen.
"I'm not telling you what to do, honey. I'm just saying you need to do whatever it is that takes care of you first, before you think about anyone else, whatever that means for you."
"Thank you, Mrs. Luthor. I'll let you go now."
"Kara…"
"Yes?"
"Keep in touch, okay? I do care about you, despite how things started out."
"T-Thank you, Mrs. Luthor."
"Call me Lillian, Kara. Really. We're past the formalities, aren't we?" When Kara didn't reply, Lillian added, "Take care of yourself, sweetie."
"I will," Kara told her, but wasn't quite sure if this was true.
~!~!~
Lena called Kara twelve times later that day, and Kara ignored every one of them. In fact, she ignored everyone's calls and texts and avoided social media all together. Instead, she chose to bury her face in her pillow, lying in her bed and trying to forget what it felt like to exist.
This, of course, didn't work. She knew full well that she was in love with Lena, and no matter how hard she tried to let go of the fact, it remained. Which only made it hurt worse that things had to end. Despite the unhealthiness of her thought process, Kara tried as hard as she could to think of ways t make the relationship work. To help Lena. To fix her addiction.
But every time, it came back to the same thing: Lena has to make the choice to do the work to get better, and that's not what she's choosing right now.
So Kara cried. And cried. And cried. Until her tears ran dry and her eyes burned from the effort of dehydrating her completely. But Kara didn't want to drink. Or eat. Or even breathe.
So she stayed in bed, skipping school and ignoring her phone over the next two days.
Eventually, her mother appeared in her doorway for what was likely the thirteenth time and barked, "Enough! Kara, you get up this instant, come down for dinner, and do your homework!"
"No," the blonde said simply, covering her head with her pillow. "I don't have homework anyway."
"Tomorrow is the last day of classes, and you will go." When Kara ignored her, Eliza shouted, "ALEX!" causing her other daughter to bolt up the stairs.
"What? What is it?" she gaped, thinking her sister must have been hurt.
"Drag her downstairs."
"What?"
"Do it, Alex. She can't sit up here and mope anymore."
"Leave me alone!" Kara screamed.
To the surprise of both Kara and their mother, Alex did the opposite of what her mother had asked. Instead of roughly dragging her down the stairs, she sat down on the bed beside her sister and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Kara," she said softly. "Addiction is a crazy thing. And it ruins relationships. But this isn't your fault, and if you spend all your energy raging against the machine and hoping she'll change when she's not ready, you're going to be sorely disappointed, and you're going to end up watching your life pass you by. It's time to keep living, Kar."
Slowly, struck by her sister's thoughtful speech, Kara sat up in bed and looked over at the girl, saying, "I guess… I guess maybe you're right."
"Come on, bud. Eat something," Alex pleaded.
"I made your favorite," Eliza told her daughter.
"Pot stickers?" the blonde asked hopefully, her spirits perking up somewhat.
Her mother nodded, smiling warmly.
Carefully slipping out from under the covers that had become her sanctuary, Kara followed them downstairs and managed to eat a decent amount for dinner.
~!~!~
Kara did go to school the next day. Due to her impeccable grades, she'd been allowed to skip her final exams, so really, the final day of school was a formality. It was painful, though, as Kara had no friends there, and no one even spoke to her. There was no one she cared to have signed her yearbook. In fact, she was so apathetic about her classmates that she didn't even bother to get a yearbook at all.
Although she despised the idea of a huge ceremony, she also attended her own graduation. As she stepped off the stage with her diploma in hand, she felt tears dripping down her cheeks. No one really noticed, except Eliza and Alex, but Kara didn't really care if anyone saw anyway. What did they care if and why she was crying? They didn't. So Kara let herself cry as she sat back down, feeling the intense weight of Lena's absence. It would've been a lot easier to swallow if she'd known Lena was safe and working hard on her sobriety at rehab. But she was probably getting wasted, and that hurt Kara more than anything. She was missing her graduation to get high.
By the time the ceremony was over, Kara's tears had dried, leaving a melancholy expression on her face that her mother and sister immediately noticed.
"It's gonna be okay, buddy," Alex whispered, hugging her tightly. "We're here for you."
"We are, honey," their mother agreed. "Always."
Kara just nodded, emptiness taking over, hardly filled by her family's words.