Amazingly, during their next individual session, Lena told Dr. Edwards about what had happened in group and the feelings the exchanges had left her with.
"She must be very special if you can picture yourself marrying her," the psychologist said softly, a small, warm smile tugging her lips.
Lena nodded sadly.
"I wonder if perhaps she does feel the same way about you."
"But then why would she leave me?"
"Lena. If we're being honest with each other, do you really think her other option was ideal? Or even healthy?"
Mouth opening to speak, Lena found that no sound was coming out. Mostly, she reasoned, because she had no idea what to say. Dr. Edwards was right. The alternative to Kara leaving her was for her to stay and watch Lena circle the drain and even almost die.
"She wasn't trying to hurt me," Lena suddenly blurted. "She was setting healthy boundaries for herself."
"I think you hit the nail on the head there, Lena," Dr. Edwards told her, smile broadening. "I think, in all likelihood, she was telling the truth when she told you she loved you, but that it wasn't healthy for her - or for you - for her to remain in an intimate relationship with you while you were making choices that were hurting you. And I believe that because you told me she's been to visit you here multiple times. Is that correct?"
"Yes," Lena conceded, nodding her head.
"Then she must care for you a great deal. At the very least, it seems you have a true friend in her."
That was when Lena started to cry.
"But I don't want to be her friend. I want to be her girlfriend. I want to be… I want…"
She couldn't continue, though. It was too painful for her to say the words out loud. I want to be her wife, she was thinking as she pictured the countless intimate moments they'd shared, baring their hearts to each other and comforting in each other in difficult times. They'd also shared a great deal of joy together, and that was more precious to Lena than anything.
Finally lifting her gaze, she finished her thought, telling the psychologist, "When I try to think of happy moments in my life, all I can call up is things I've done with her. There's nothing else."
"It would seem you've had a difficult childhood."
"That's saying the least," Lena agreed.
"I am very glad that you have happy memories and moments with Kara. She very much sounds like a light in your life."
Lena nodded and answered, "She is."
After a brief pause, Dr. Edwards continued, "Then perhaps she's worth fighting for."
Lifting her gaze, Lena's eyes widened slightly in surprise, realizing the potential truth in the psychologist's words.
By the time the session ended, Lena was confused and conflicted, unsure of whether to believe her gut reaction - that she wasn't good enough for Kara - or Dr. Edwards' words, suggesting that she should keep trying.
~!~!~
Kara went to see Lena three more days that week, and each time, Lena seemed distant and distracted.
"Hey," Kara said softly, gently brushing the back of Lena's hand with her fingertips. "You okay?"
"As okay as I'll ever be," Lena replied, in an automatic response.
"No, really. What's going on?"
"Nothing," the brunette said, the word tumbling out. "Just thinking."
"What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing," Lena blurted again.
"Okay," Kara gave in with a shrug. "As you wish."
"Sorry. Anyway, what's up with you? How's life on the outside? How's work?"
Shrugging again and dropping her gaze, the blonde confessed, "I got let go last night."
"Wait, what?!" Lena gasped, her attention snapping back to the present moment. "You got fired?"
"I, um… I missed too much work."
"You've been missing work?"
"Calling out, yeah. It's not that I no-call, no-showed. I just…"
"Why aren't you going to work?"
"Hey. Calm down, alright?" Kara snapped, sensing the accusatory tone in Lena's voice. "I was here."
"What? You missed work for this?"
"Of course I did. How else do you think I'd have the time to be down here in the middle of the day? I was working nights at first, but… I was late a lot… so I started calling out when I couldn't make it on time… then they put me back on day shifts and I just…"
"Kara, you shouldn't miss work just to visit! I can't believe you lost your job because of me."
When Lena started to cry, Kara squeezed her hand.
"It's okay," she assured the girl. "I think I'm going to apply for a job at the local factory working third shift. That'll give me time to be here for you and also work full-time and make more money."
"Wait, what about acting?"
"What about it?"
"Are you… Are you done?"
"Yeah," Kara sighed. "I'm done. No point acting without you."
"But it's money. More money. A lot more. And you could—"
"I don't want to act without you, okay? You were my better half. I can't do it alone."
Mouth hanging slightly open, Lena once again found herself staring at her former partner as she soaked in the girl's words.
"Kara… Don't let me get in the way of—"
"You're not getting in the way. You're just the only thing I care about."
"Kar—"
"Don't, okay? I know it's stupid and pointless. But anyway. How's stuff going for you here?"
"The same," Lena quickly lied.
It wasn't the same. In fact, she was taking her meds and going to groups and talking in individual therapy. She was no longer resisting. And if she was being honest? She was starting to feel better.
"I'm sorry," Kara sighed. "Are you—?"
"Can we change the subject?"
Sadly, the blonde nodded her consent, and the two discussed superficial things like the weather and how Kara's family was doing for the rest of their visitation.
~!~!~
When Kara's phone rang two days later, she answered on the first vibration.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Miss Danvers. It's Dr. Dudley. I just wanted to provide you an update and get some insight, if you have any, about how Miss Luthor is doing."
"Of course. I'll help in any way I can."
"Well, the first thing I'll say is that Miss Luthor has been taking her medication, fully participating in groups, and engaging in therapy in a meaningful way."
"Wait, really?"
"Yes, ma'am. Moreover, she has reported a lack of suicidal ideation and self-harm urges."
"That's… That's amazing! I'm so proud of her!"
"Yes, indeed. We are as well. I know things have been difficult between her and the staff at the hospital, but it seems she has made some significant changes that have allowed her to experience overall improvements and increased stability."
"I'm really glad to hear that. So, what can I do? I'm not sure how I can be helpful."
"Well, Miss Danvers, we are currently considering discharge, as we no longer feel she is in imminent danger of harming herself or others. My question to you is: do you feel that she will willingly continue treatment after she's discharged, or do you think she might stop taking her medications and reject continued therapy? I understand that you can't possibly know for sure, but I was hoping for your gut reaction."
"My gut reaction is fear. Fear that she'll think she's fine and then disengaging from her recovery. Winging it."
"I have a similar fear. An option is to do an absolute discharge, where we drop the probate and allow her to continue with treatment - or not - as she sees fit. However, I do feel that without continued treatment, her mental health would likely rapidly deteriorate."
"Agreed."
"So, that all being said, I think that a conditional discharge would be more appropriate."
"Meaning… treatment… or hospital?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"I don't think that's a horrible idea. She'll hate it, but if it keeps her safe and sane, I'm for it."
"Thank you for your insight and taking the time to talk with me, Miss Danvers. She'll likely be discharged on Monday. Would you like to pick her up? I could offer her that option for you, if you'd like."
Quickly, Kara replied, "I'd love to. I'll be there."
"Alright, then. I'll let her know she'll be discharged at 1:00 PM, if that works."
"It does indeed. Thank you, Dr. Dudley."
"And thank you, Miss Danvers. Your help and support are appreciated."
With that, the two said a polite goodbye and ended the call.
~!~!~
Lena was, as expected, pissed beyond reason when she found out she was required to sign papers for a conditional discharge.
"I hate you guys," she grumbled, scrawling her autograph sloppily on the appropriate places in the paperwork.
The doctor prepared her for discharge, complete with an aftercare intake appointment with a local mental health center in her area and a months's supply of medications. Once she was finally packed and ready to go, she sat anxiously on the bed waiting for 1:00 PM. About forty minutes later, a mental health worker escorted her downstairs, where she met Kara at the door.
Quite involuntarily, Lena's smile erupted from ear to ear, and without really thinking about it, she ran to her former partner and hugged her tightly. This earned a matching smile from Kara, who immediately lifted her into her arms and spun her around excitedly.
"You ready to go, kid?" Kara asked cheerfully.
Lena nodded and said, "More ready than you know."
"Great!" Kara exclaimed, then shocked Lena completely by lifting her back into her arms, this time bridal-style, and carrying her out of the building.
"Wait, how'd you get here? Where's my driver?" Lena asked, suddenly looking confused.
"I got my license."
"You did?! Seriously?!"
"Yeah. I did. I figured you might be proud of me, so I went for it and passed on the first try."
"Oh, my gosh, Kara! That's amazing! I'm am so proud of you!" Lena nearly shouted, hugging the girl tightly. "So, so proud."
Kara couldn't help but grin. This was all she'd wanted to hear from Lena. Making the star proud - despite the fact that they were broken up - still meant the world to her.
So, Kara drove them back to Lena's mansion in her car - nothing fancy, but clean and did the job - and smiled the whole way.
Lena sat beside her, without judging the entry-level vehicle, and allowed the wave of relief to lull her into a deep state of calmness.