She wouldn't take his calls. She wouldn't answer his text messages-unless the calls or texts were for an update on baby Iris. What other choice did she have? Astrid didn't want to see him. He'd really hurt her by what happened that day of his CD release at the mall with Heather's plot to get Hiccup to propose live on TV to her. Regardless of the fact it was all fake and an act, it still happened and Astrid was hurt by it. The whole of the Archipelago had been talking about it-just as she expected would happen. Every channel she watched, there was something about it-showing the scene over and over again. Astrid always ended up crying before she turned it off and went to the room she was staying in at the Thorston house.

Ruffnut had said Astrid could stay until she had the baby-but then Astrid unfortunately had to find her own place to live because Ruffnut and Tuffnut's parents didn't want a baby in the house. Astrid was grateful she had a place to be for now. She never stopped thinking about the break up fight with Hiccup-rather Dusk since that is who he was dressed as when they had it out that day a week ago. Everything she said was the truth, even with Heather gone-nothing would change. Anyone who knew Hiccup, knew that he and Astrid had sex and were expecting a baby in two months, or about that since she was at thirty weeks and she was due at the end of March. If 'Dusk' suddenly announced that Astrid was his girlfriend and they were expecting a baby, trouble would start.

People would say Astrid lied, or that she was the one who got between the big time celebrity love of Dusk and Heather. Something to avoid that was if Astrid had been announced as Dawn Winters being Dusk's girlfriend-but Astrid didn't want that. She didn't want to hide who she was, or what had happened between her and Hiccup-who was in fact Dusk. However, if she said anything about the truth...she was in big trouble because of the contract in place. That's what she hated the most-having to hide what really happened. Sure he wasn't Dusk when they had sex but that was his stage persona and the truth was that Astrid having Hiccup's child could never be revealed as Dusk's girlfriend-it would be a huge confusing mess of problems she didn't want Iris involved in so it was just easier to breakup with Hiccup and let him see Iris when he had time too.

Astrid loved Hiccup, she really and truly did. She missed all the fun they used to have together in the studio, sitting in the living room, working on the nursery, even making love to one another. Gods, she missed everything but she stood firm by what she had told him before leaving: how could she be with someone who didn't even know who he was anymore. It was the truth-Hiccup hid behind Dusk, afraid to be judged because of how he was known in high school. Hiccup was known as a loner, a shy loser who was really smart and quiet. The guy never said much and Astrid was always sitting next to him because they sat by alphabetization of their last names. His was Haddock, hers being Hofferson and with no people in between them-they got put next to one another for about three years of high school. There was no way for them to ever be together unless he came out that he was Dusk. That was the ultimatum she offered for her to stay.

For Hiccup to take off the wig, face paint, fake brown contacts and admit he was Dusk-to stop hiding who he really was. It wouldn't matter if he took it all off and stayed lead singer, his voice, friendships, songs-none of that would change, he just wouldn't be hiding behind the mask anymore-showing who he really was to people. That he was still Hiccup-he just found what he was good at and had a lot more confidence then back in high school. Astrid wanted to be with him, she still wanted them to get married and raise Iris together-but she didn't want to do it with someone who was afraid to be who he really was. No matter how it was looked at, Astrid couldn't go events with him being Dusk because she had to hide behind contacts and a wig so people wouldn't ask questions.

It could easily be passed off that Dawn was Dusk's lover-but then it would raise the questions of what happened to the engagement between Heather and Dusk when just a week ago, Dusk proposed to Heather in front of thousands. Thus far, people still believed the engagement was on but no one had seen Dusk or Heather since that day either. Astrid made it clear that she wanted to be with Hiccup whether he was Dusk or Hiccup-she didn't want to hide who she was, she wanted him be proud to call her his girlfriend, fiance, wife even. She wanted him to stop hiding behind Dusk and embrace the fact he was both guys, that he could still be Dusk while showing himself as Hiccup. But alas, when she offered him that-he hesitated on a response, further proving he was afraid to do what she asked of him. In Astrid's eyes, he wasn't willing to be himself, that he didn't want to be Hiccup-he wanted to be Dusk and hide so she couldn't be with him anymore. She couldn't be with someone who was scared to be himself

If Hiccup wanted her back, she told him what he had to do. Stop hiding. If he could do that, she'd be with him again-thus far, it had been a week and he never came around the house. Astrid was assuming that not even her leaving him was enough for him to take off the mask and show the world what she supposedly meant to him. That made it hurt all the more, he said he would show everyone how much she meant to him-yet he couldn't even face the world without the mask on because he was scared. Astrid didn't want a life where she could only have him when he wasn't on stage.

(With Hiccup)

Her words rang in his head, over and over again. Astrid wouldn't let him come to appointments, but she did let him know things were okay with Iris. They had yet to discuss how to share custody or her things be sent to Ruff's house, she only told him that she was looking for her own place and once she was settled there-she'd come for her things. Hiccup's mood was always down-he barely showed any energy during practices-didn't really have an input on suggestions for songs or ideas to do anything for that matter. Hiccup would just sit there with his guitar hanging from around his neck, staring off into nothing-like he was in his own world-the one where Astrid had left him because he was a complete idiot.

Gobber, Toothless, and the rest of the band were worried for him. They didn't like how quiet he was all the time, didn't like that if they weren't eating or practicing-he was locked in his room. They had tried to talk to him but he just said he wanted to be alone and they knew it was so he could drink. It scared the people who cared about him-it had only been a week since the breakup and Hiccup woke up with a hangover every morning-he looked like hell and that he was just letting go of himself. They wanted to tell Astrid-hoping maybe she could break him out of it but they knew it would likely worry and stress her out, Hiccup would never forgive them for that.

Heather was out of their lives with the order in effect, she couldn't come over, call, or text Hiccup anymore. She wasn't allowed where the band was-it would make things harder on Hiccup when they started doing events again because press would notice that Dusk's fiance wasn't showing up anymore. He knew eventually and soon he'd have to make it known that things with Heather had been over for a long time-since July when the tour ended and everything they saw was just an act. But could he even do that without revealing why they put on the act? Hiccup would have to tell them about Astrid and he still didn't want her getting dragged into things involving his celebrity lifestyle. Astrid was right, he was afraid and she had every right to leave him-but he still loved her and wanted her back. He knew what he had to do in order to get her back-but he was afraid to show everyone who was really under the black hair, brown eyes, and face paint.

Gods, he really was pathetic-he deserved to lose her for being such an idiot. Hiccup had spent every night since she left him, drunk. Not hammered-but enough to knock out and sleep. The hangover always sucked-but to him, he just didn't care anymore. He hated his life without Astrid and what he hated more was that his life cost him to live it without her. All because he was afraid to be Hiccup to the world-the shy, quiet, loner, loser when he was in high school, so he hid behind Dusk-someone everyone loved and adored. Currently, he was in the studio with the others-not really paying attention to anything, Gobber was talking about a gig they had coming up in a few weeks so they'd need to practice for it.

"Dusk?..." Toothless asked. No reply-he was just staring off into space again. "HICCUP!" his brother yelled this time shaking him.

"Huh?" Hiccup asked as he was brought back to reality.

"Did you hear what Dad said?" Toothless asked him now.

"No...I zoned off..." Hiccup mumbled looking down.

"I know your mind isn't here right now-but it needs to be, son." Gobber put a hand on Hiccup's shoulder.

"Sorry, Dad...I heard gig in a few weeks, didn't catch the rest..." Hiccup replied to him.

"Berkian High School is hosting their five year reunion for the class of 2014 on Saturday, February 4th, 2017. They've asked if we'll play for it, I haven't given them an answer because I know that's your old high school, Hiccup and that it's also your graduating class. Also that the chief of police will be there with his new wife and other officers to keep things under control. I heard rumors that Berkian High was a rowdy spot few years back," Gobber explained again.

"Rumors are very much true. Berkian High was voted rowdiest school for the years 2011 to 2014, had the most calls for troublemakers-police were always there to deal with it..." Hiccup replied.

"I'm asking if you want me to accept the gig or not. It's your high school reunion, I assume with it being two weeks away-you've already gotten an invitation. I've held off in case you wanted to go as well, yourself rather than Dusk with the band." Gobber mentioned. Hiccup closed his eyes with a sigh as they all looked at him.

"Hiccup was just a nobody and invisible to everybody-including his parents. Five years wouldn't have changed that. I'll just avoid the bullshit and go as the person I became: Dusk Fury. Astrid was right," he chuckled a bit, sadly and the others could hear it, "Hiccup disappeared after high school, and he never came back from Archi...he doesn't exist anymore. Take the gig, Dad." he moved upstairs now and left them down there-concern rising between them for their friend.

"He's letting her words get to him..." Stormfly frowned.

"Her words were the truth though, Hiccup has told us that himself. He hated who he was before we came into his life, or rather brought him into ours..." Toothless sighed.

"He still loves her," Meatlug reminded.

"But he's also still afraid to show people the real him because of how people knew him, he just told us all that. He was invisible before he became Dusk-that Hiccup disappeared after high school. Hiccup didn't come back from Archi, Dusk did. The point is, people either know him as Hiccup, or they see him as Dusk-but they don't know he's the same person and Hiccup is afraid of people knowing that fact." Gobber said.

"But why would he be afraid?" Hookfang asked, "He's awesome,"

"Dusk is awesome to others because they don't know who is under the black hair, brown eyes, and face paint. He's afraid that if people knew the truth about who he was, they'd start hating the band because of who he used to be. Also, if he comes out as Dusk of being Hiccup...he puts Astrid in a position to be harassed to Hell and back by paparazzi-things he dealt with Heather to avoid happening," Gobber explained.

"If he were to reveal Dusk to really be Hiccup, people will think that Dusk cheated on Heather, that Astrid was a side chick and he got her pregnant-that she broke up Heather and Dusk, a couple the Archipelago loves. Remember that no one knows Dusk and Heather broke up back in July 2016, we were in slow season-not a lot of public appearances for them to be seen together. Now everything thinks he and Heather are engaged, it hasn't come out they aren't. It will obviously when she isn't seen with us anymore, but he still wants Astrid out of it," Toothless added on to his father's explanation.

"I suppose that makes sense and that's why Astrid said what she said-that they could be together as Hiccup and Astrid, but never Dusk and Astrid-unless she was in disguise like him and she doesn't want to hide like he does." Zap sighed a bit.

"Can't say I blame her. If I was in a relationship-I wouldn't want someone who wasn't themselves. Even though he's the same guy with the same body-he's lives two different lives. There's Hiccup who disappeared five years ago after high school because he was invisible, and there's Dusk who is a hot shot celebrity that everyone adores. But he's never the same to everyone. He's Dusk with us, Hiccup with Astrid. Dusk when he was with Heather, Hiccup to Astrid's friends." Stormfly closed her eyes.

"That's what Astrid told him, she wants all of him not half. One life to share with him, she doesn't want him to be afraid to be himself. She said she would stay if he could stop hiding and be able be with her as she is no matter if he's walking through town as Hiccup, or on stage performing as Dusk. And Hiccup hesitated on agreeing to those terms. Astrid feels like he doesn't love her enough to make that sacrifice for her or their child-so she left him that way she wouldn't be in his way of being Dusk all the time." Meatlug nodded.

"You recall she didn't call him Hiccup right before she walked out the door. She kept calling him Dusk, and that if he ever found Hiccup, to let him know she was waiting for him to come back," Toothless reminded them.

"So, he wants her back but can't fulfill her one request of him not hiding who he is because he's trying to protect her still?" Hiss inquired.

"Yes. Because if he comes out as Dusk that he's Hiccup under the disguise-it opens the drama door of everyone wondering who Astrid is, why she's pregnant with Dusk's kid when Dusk was supposed to be with Heather the last three years. It starts the cheating, scandal rumors-things that look bad for the band. He's not just protect Astrid and Iris, he's protecting the whole band. He says anything-we all get thrown into question about knowing, covering it up...that's how careers end. People believing we're heartless and cruel-that's why Hiccup won't reveal himself being Dusk. To protect everyone, even if he has to suffer without Astrid," Gobber stated-they all sighed now.

"There's no way around it, is there, Dad?" Toothless asked. "No way for him to give the truth without a repercussion?"

"He could reveal himself, then leave the band so nothing falls on us. He threatened to do that if Heather blabbed," Sparky stated.

"Or he could tell the entire truth. About breaking up with Heather, him and Astrid hooking up drunk, getting together when she got pregnant, then Heather blackmailing him, that the two of them were just an act to protect Astrid. It would involve a lot of questions but at least it would all be out, Heather exposed for the liar she is, his secret out. But I don't think he wants to do that-it would be really crazy for a while, plus Astrid giving birth soon. He doesn't want that stress on her," Gobber stated.

"Well, it's his life and we can't tell him how to live it. All we can do is continue to be there for him any way at all," Toothless told them all, they nodded in agreement and continued to discuss things for the upcoming gig-the five year reunion for Hiccup's graduating class at Berkian High School.

(Upstairs-Hiccup's Room)

After leaving the studio, he went to his room silently-grabbed a beer from the mini refrigerator, cracked open the top and took a long swig from it. Hiccup breathed out, trying to relax as he leaned against the wall with the beer in hand. This gig was going to suck. He wanted to get out for a while-he was on his last beer and he needed to clear his head. Hiccup finished his beer after ten minutes then got on his shoes, grabbed his keys, wallet, and phone before leaving his room. Hiccup moved outside and started the car-he was gone down the street towards the bar.

(Teddy's Bar)

He was cursing himself as he pulled up to the place his heart yearned to be, it practically dragged him here. To the place where he and Astrid began everything together. The night they got wasted after their breakups, then ended up having sex which conceived little Iris who was to be born in ten week. It didn't feel like so much time had passed already but it had. They were so happy before Heather came back into his life-everything was fine before her, now he was single and alone without her. The last week had been hell, and this would become the norm if he didn't find a way to get Astrid back. Parking the car, he shut it off and entered the bar-thankful to see Teddy there.

"Hey, there's my old friend!" Teddy smiled motioning for Hiccup to come over and take a seat at center of the bar. Hiccup made his way over and got on the stool, "You look like shit," he chuckled a bit and got him a beer-cracking the top off and sliding it towards him a bit.

"Been a really long, depressing week..." Hiccup sighed.

"Why don't you tell me about it?" Teddy offered while wiping a few of the glasses dry. "How's that girl you were with in here that night about seven months ago?"

"Seven months pregnant with our daughter, and left me because I'm an idiot..." Hiccup mumbled.

"Oh boy, hang on let me get a shot ready..." Teddy said with a small smile as he got the Southern Comfort and two shot glasses and poured them each one. "Alright, shoot." he told Hiccup.

"Can you keep a secret?" Hiccup asked, Teddy nodded-there was always an unspoken bartender/client confidentiality agreement and Hiccup had known Teddy about a year-loved the guy like a crazy uncle. Hiccup sighed and began to tell him about being Dusk quietly-then about everything that had been happening, ending the explanation that he lost Astrid because he was an idiot.

"Wow man." Teddy blinked now.

"Yeah so that's how my life is going right now..." Hiccup finished his 3rd beer.

"Well, shit...I'm sorry-but in all seriousness, fuck that ex of yours. This the same ex you were talking about the night you and Astrid were in here drinking?" Hiccup nodded, "Wow! So, if she's gone then what's your girl or...ex now, mad about?"

"Because I'm hiding myself...I told you. She doesn't like that nobody knows Dusk is really me, Hiccup. People know Hiccup, and they know Dusk but not that we're the same person. Astrid doesn't like that I hide behind Dusk...she said if I wanted to keep her, I had to stop hiding. That she wanted to be with me whether I'm dressed as Dusk-or like I am now...that she wanted be able to seen with me no matter who I was," Hiccup sighed again.

"So what's stopping you from doing that?" Teddy asked curiously.

"Fear of making people hate the band, press harassing Astrid, ruining everything I'm a part of," Hiccup closed his eyes.

"Dragon's Roar is pretty popular-you guys have been ranked in the top five bands in the entire Archipelago. I don't think something like this would ruin it all if you came out and told the truth about it." Teddy offered.

"You don't understand...it's...Astrid I worry about. These kinds of stories can destroy careers, even if I tell the truth. They'd be all over Astrid and I don't...want her under that strain while pregnant-I don't want them harassing her. She doesn't...deserve that kind of life..." Hiccup looked down now.

"Hiccup, listen to me. You love her, and obviously she loves you. If you're this miserable-then so is she. And being this upset for her, is just as bad as her getting stressed by paparazzi. It's not good for her either way but you were willing to deal with your ex for three months to keep her safe, I think you can keep her safe all on your own. She's right, you can't be afraid to be you. You can be Dusk and Hiccup-you just gotta mold them together. You gotta look like Hiccup with Dusk's personality and keep the heart of gold you have my friend." Teddy smiled some.

"It's not that simple-do you have any idea the explanation I'd have to give to the press about things, the endless questions and harassing myself and the band would be subjected too?" Hiccup groaned.

"But they are your friends and they will stand by you-so will Astrid. You should have seen her the night she came here looking for you when she found out she was pregnant-absolute mess and worrying she wouldn't be able to find you and let you know she was having your baby. She didn't care about you being Dusk then-and she doesn't know. She just wants to know be with a guy who isn't scared to be himself. I never knew you were Dusk til tonight and I've thought you were awesome from the first time you came in here. Fuck what others think, you do what makes you happy and you keep the negativity out. If you follow your heart-you will always be happy and make it out on top." Teddy put a hand on his shoulder.

"She'll never take me back. She asked me a week ago if I could stop hiding and I never answered her," Hiccup sighed.

"Prove to her that you want to stop hiding," Teddy chuckled.

"And how am I supposed to do that...She told me to find Hiccup and tell him she's waiting for him..." Hiccup looked away.

"That means she's waiting for you, stupid. So find yourself, and stop hiding. Show the world who you are, and then show the world what she means to you. I can't tell you how to do that-it's up to you. But I'll tell you this, sitting here at the bar being miserable isn't gonna solve anything. Head home, win her back, and be happy as yourself." Teddy smiled. "However first, you need to sober up..." he chuckled handing Hiccup two pieces of bread and some water. Hiccup smiled for the first time in a week. Hiccup was miserable without Astrid and he swore by the Gods he was going to get her back. This is what Astrid was implying that day, how far was he willing to go to get her back and how much was his willing to sacrifice to be with her. He knew the answer now: he'd give it all up to get her back and be with her forever. Hiccup was going to do whatever it took.