Chapter 1
Once Backstrom started going to AA he was surprisingly faithful to the task. He steered clear of alcohol, started eating better though not completely, and while he still saw plenty of hookers, he went about it much more discreetly. He tried to tell himself that whatever this next stage in his life was that he was ready for it and in turn, the missteps that would happen along the way, but in truth, he was only pretending. He was still scared of whatever was waiting for him, but now he felt armed in a way, so he was ready to deal with it. He was prepared for the temptation posed by alcohol, prepared to try to live a healthier life, and even to give up his endless barrage of hookers, though that was proving the hardest of his temptations to beat.
"Hookers might be a good thing, otherwise, you're not going to get any female attention from anybody, detective. They say it's not good to start a relationship in the first year of sobriety" said Motto, though Backstrom didn't quite understand why he was telling him this in the first place because he had never been one for relationships anyway, not since Amy, and he wasn't going to change that. The one woman who might tempt him to even consider the idea was Amy, but she was still tied to Captain Rocha. In his mind, that made relationships an impossibility, after all, he could count the serious relationships in his life on one hand, but he hadn't thought any of those women would come back into his life.
Women the likes of which that had dared to love him that way usually ran away after they realized they couldn't change him. Amy was the only exception to that, and he didn't think that any of those other women could appear just as easily. Everett Backstrom made a living out of being right most of the time, but now was not one of them, for though he didn't know it, one of those women was destined to return to him, and she was closer than he ever could have believed. Two months had passed since that first AA meeting and despite the odds, Everett was doing okay though he had yet to go to a meeting alone. Dr. Deb went the most often, Motto too, and sometimes Almond or Nadia though always with Niedermeyer in tow. All in all, it really wasn't that bad though he couldn't imagine ever actually going alone, and when it came time for him to share, he found it was his least favorite thing to do. It made him feel too vulnerable, but then one of his team would look at him with this stare that told him that he had no choice. Only then would Backstrom stand, go up to the podium, and pour his heart out to a room of yuppy strangers who he still believed didn't understand anything at all. In many ways, he could understand why some thought it was therapeutic, but he hadn't reached that stage yet, he still found it just plain annoying. He didn't see his opinion changing though he did hear that miracles did happen. Backstrom couldn't picture himself as the gentle soul who wanted to walk up there and cry and spill out his feelings. Whenever he did, he always felt like Niedermeyer, and that didn't make him want the desire to do so. Yet, he was proud of himself all the same because he had defied the odds, and not taken a drink since that night just before he had charges drawn up on his father. Charges that they were still looking into and that made him subconsciously look over his shoulder to look for the man with a gun pointed right at him. Maybe that was why he was two months sober though, because when he did turn around to find him there, he wanted to be sober when he pulled the trigger, but he couldn't explain that desire either.
It was something he never would have believed himself capable of until now, but he still found himself waiting for something to come along to trip him up. That moment wasn't too far ahead of him, but it wouldn't be as unpleasant as he believed. It was on a case that one of those women would be destined to drop back into his life. Yet, this woman was not like Amy, in fact, Backstrom had quite honestly forgot about her until he heard her name again, and then he saw her. When he did though, it may have been under the most unpleasant of circumstances but seeing her again he found was the most pleasant thing that had happened to him in a long time. Backstrom and Gravely were working a case where the dead body of a teenage girl had been found. The victim's name was Tessa Midiron, when Backstrom saw the body, he couldn't completely understand it, but she made him sad for the first time since he had been on the job. She reminded him of someone, though he couldn't remember right at that moment, but looking at her, he thought she had had more living to do. They were at Grover Cleveland High School, it was the high school the girl had attended as a junior, and it was under their bleachers that she had been found. The janitor had gone to clean under them and discovered her there, laying with her eyes to the sky, and it was as if she was looking at him. She looked the same still even as the coroner was enclosing her in black plastic ultimately ending her stare. It would be through this girls murder that Backstrom first came upon her once again. He had been questioning the principle with Gravely when he first heard her name again.
"Why was Tessa here? Does she usually hang around after hours or could she have come back with someone?" questioned Gravely, as she spoke Backstrom was just behind her trying to light his cigar but shaking his lighter he found that he was trying in vain, but all the same, she knew he was listening to every word, so she could only roll her eyes in stern indignation.
"Tessa has always been a great student, I can't think who would want to hurt her, not like that. The only reason I could think of is if she was helping out one of her teachers…she's a teacher's aid for one of our English teachers, Ms. Willard, it's possible she had her helping after hours" exclaimed the principle, it was then that Tessa's body was carried away, and his eyes seemed to stay on the black bag as it went passed them.
"Would it be possible to confirm that with this teacher? Is she here now?" said Gravely, the principles eyes were still on the body bag long after it had gone from his view, but that wasn't the only thing that startled her, for Backstrom was being unusually quiet having forgotten his cigar as he stared unabashedly at the principle.
"Of course, Carlene should be in her classroom, follow me" exclaimed the principle already moving to lead the way, but Backstrom had stopped causing Gravely to do the same.
"Carlene Willard?" exclaimed Backstrom a shock of something almost sweet on his tongue even as he chewed on the end of his cigar.
"Yes, she teaches English, Tessa was her teaching assistant" said the principle barely pausing before leading them out of the gym.
"The women of my past keep coming back to haunt me" whispered Backstrom, Gravely was walking by his side her eyes on him as he stared ahead without really seeing where he was going a distant look of memory coming across his face.
"You know the teacher…did she used to be a hooker?" exclaimed Gravely, the look on Backstrom's face when she said it was almost dangerous even as he failed to respond but stayed silent along with the memories playing around in his head.
"Lieutenant, what is going on with you? You know this teacher…I can see it in your face…do you two have a history that might compromise you working on this case? What's going on?" exclaimed Gravely, managing to break him out of his revelry, but receiving no answer. It was then that the hallway seemed to end, and the principle turned into a classroom. Backstrom stopped altogether, for only a moment, before moving forward, and then it was as if he was stepping into the past. Yet, in that same moment, he gave Gravely as single answer spoken underneath his breath, and yet, for her, it wasn't sufficient.
"Carlene and I went to high school together. We grew up in Cooch County…I left…I didn't know she did too" whispered Backstrom, it was a simple answer, but not enough for Gravely as she watched him start to move to enter the classroom. Yet, he didn't say another word, and she could only watch him as several different emotions played across his face all at once. This was more then a friendly reunion, but she didn't get any confirmation of that as they entered the classroom, so that Backstrom was faced to face with this mysteriously woman all at once.
"That's all—" said Bravely, but he didn't let her finish.
"Detectives is everything alright?" said the principle watching them as they stood in the doorway still forgetting somehow their reason for being there.
"Leave it alone, Gravely, she's an old friend, that's all" snapped Backstrom abruptly turning to follow the principle once more.
"No, she's not. You care for her…and you don't care about anyone, but yourself. That makes her more then some old friend" whispered Gravely even as he had his back turned, but as she returned to the task at hand, she found the principle looking at them as a woman stood by the window not looking at them at all.
"Ms. Willard…these are detectives. They are looking into who killed poor Tessa, so I thought they should speak to you. This is detective Gravely and her boss, Lieutenant—" exclaimed the principle, but the woman by the window quickly interrupted whatever else he was about to say.
"Backstrom. Everett Backstrom…I never thought to hear your name again, let alone see you, too bad it's under these terrible circumstances" said a strong voice then, it was that of Carlene Willard. Her head turned first, the dipping sun seeming to shroud her in light as she turned until she was facing them. There was a handful of Kleenex in her hands twisted into tattering pieces and it was clear that she had been crying by the red blotches that covered her face. Yet, that seemed to be the only vulnerable thing about her as she stood a tall, hourglass figured woman with a look to her as strong as her voice. It was not what Gravely had been expecting. The principle didn't try to pick up where he left off. In fact, he only seemed to find himself out of place, just as Gravely did, for the other two people only seemed to have eyes for each other as they stared unabashedly. It was the strangest yet most endearing thing Gravely had ever seen Backstrom do. The principle soon left her to deal with whatever was happening here and as she came to stand in the space between the two of them, she knew neither of them saw her.
"She filled out nicely. She looks…amazing" thought Backstrom as he stared at her feeling his heart jerk almost pleasantly at the thought. Even as they walked down the hall, he had known he was going to see her, but now in the moment, he hadn't realized how long it had been. Carlene had always appealed to him. She'd been beautiful in a luscious way that always made him think of chocolate cake though he had never completely understood that. She could make him laugh, he made her laugh too, and they had shared many great times before they'd gone their separate ways. Yet, he had never thought about seeing her again, but now, as he was, Backstrom found the sensation not unpleasant especially as she stared at him as unshakingly as he stared at her. She was still just as beautiful as he remembered.
Her stiletto heels made her taller somehow, but even as a teacher she wore a class about her that made his stomach sink. It had never mattered if she were wearing jeans or a skirt or a T-shirt or blouse, she was intimidating in that beautiful sense that most didn't have. Her hair was still that same wavy strawberry blond that was pure red fire in the heat of the sun. She wore it long down her back and around her shoulders. It was curly, curlier than he remembered, but they went everywhere in their messy way. He could still see her eyes though, those sharp green eyes that were rimmed with tears as she mourned the girl, he'd just seen carried away in a body bag. It was then that he was reminded why he was there, and he remembered Gravely as she stood just in front of them. There was some painful irony in that now, for the last time they'd met, she had been crying then too.
"I'm here now to find out who killed Tessa Midiron…though seeing you again isn't unpleasant" said Backstrom leaving the doorway now.
He came closer to her, and she came closer to him, leaving Gravely to wonder just what she found herself in the middle of.
"How can I help with that? Anything I can do, I will. Tessa was a good girl…she didn't deserve this…not the way some do" whispered Carlene her eyes filling with tears again. Her hands came to cover her face and as they did, Backstrom reached out to touch her, to comfort her, as if on instinct. That was when Gravely knew for sure that this had been more then a friend, she had never seen Backstrom comfort anyone.