What Happens in the Cave…
A/N: Does not stay in the cave!
Enjoy!
The sky had darkened quickly, the ominous clouds racing across the horizon like soldiers into battle – too eager and ready to rain destruction on anything in their path. The lightning gave only a moment's notice before sky-splitting thunder rocked the planet all the way down to the caves where Sam and Jack currently huddled.
The storm had caught them off guard, separated from Daniel and Teal'c while the team explored the deserted planet – it was just a standard recon mission, and the General had hinted that it had been so long since he'd been offworld…
And so, with SG-1 reunited – sort of - they'd split up into their old duos to look around. But the two officers had been duly distracted as the weather whipped itself into a fury, so by the time they'd realized they needed to find cover, they were half-dressed with no radios and few options for safe haven.
Sam had spotted the little rocky outcropping almost too late and yanked her already soaked general toward it. They'd stumbled in clumsily and collapsed breathless, but at least were no longer in the immediate path of those enthusiastic lightning strikes.
Pulling her sopping t-shirt over her head, Sam wrung it out onto the cave floor, watching as the droplets scattered into the dirt at her boots. She briefly considered putting the shirt back on, but ultimately hung it on a jutting stone, deciding she would dry off faster in just her sports bra. And the faster she dried, the less cold she'd be, she reasoned as goosebumps spread across her skin like wildfire.
Ooh, fire. A fire would be so nice.
"Radio?" Jack's voice broke through her toasty daydream, returning her consciousness to its shivery present.
"No, I took it off along with my jacket when we…" Sam bobbled her head instead of finishing that sentence. She didn't need to remind him why they'd taken their jackets off.
"Right." Jack ran his hand quickly over his hair, spraying droplets everywhere. "Well, if Daniel and Teal'c had any sense, they'll have found someplace to ride out this storm too. When they can't get us on the radio, they might just assume interference on the channel from the storm."
"Worst case scenario?" Sam slicked her own sodden hair back from her face and took a peek out the mouth of the cave; she was hopeful that the storm would pass as quickly as it had come.
"They make a break for the gate and bring in reinforcements when they can't get us on comms. Then we spend the rest of the week hearing about how Reynolds and his team "rescued" their CO and SG-1 from the rain." He made little air quotation marks with his fingers and rolled his eyes as he turned in a circle, looking for the most comfortable place to plop. "Take a load off, Carter. Might be here a minute." He patted the patch of dirt next to him as he stretched his legs out.
Sam shot one last glance out the cave mouth, but the rain was still coming down in sheets and the paparazzi flashbulbs of lightning hadn't diminished. Rolling her shoulders, Sam made herself comfortable against the rough stone wall and tried to ignore the squishy feeling on her tush where she sat in the dirt that was quickly turning into mud.
"My guess is Daniel will have dragged Teal'c pretty deep into those ruins – that's already 6 klicks from the gate." Sam wiped her hands on her knees, grinning when she caught the general definitely not looking at her bare midriff. Hell yeah she'd been working out extra hard lately, she'd show him for thinking he had better abs than her. She never heard the end of it, just because one time he'd thought she called his abs a "miracle."
You know, forget the fact that he'd been a jaffa for a second and she'd really just been stating the obviously miraculous fact that the creepy pouch had vanished in a matter of mere minutes.
And, okay, so the man had nice abs. Whatever.
Sam opened her mouth to make a snarky comment about sharing body heat, when something caught her eye and her quip died promptly in her throat. "Um?"
"Carter?" Jack leaned his head back against the wall, his eyes closed, the image of his grumpy, half-dressed and soaked 2IC imprinted on the backs of his eyelids.
"That's one heck of a…" Sam trailed, words failing her as she gestured between his legs.
Jack cracked one eye open to side-eye Sam, unsure which direction exactly he wanted to take his answer. He'd already used the sidearm line before, so that was out. Maybe a good old jab at the public school system? A funny euphemism?
Sam's eyes moved quickly from the not so little space between his legs up to his face and then back down, not certain at all what she should say or do. This had never really…come up…before. She watched as he opened one eye to look at her, then glance down to where she was looking. To his credit, his expression gave nothing away.
"It appears I have a snake, Carter."
He was joking? Really? "I can see that."
Jack raised his eyebrows at her in suggestion. "Maybe you should do something about him."
Blue eyes wide and unable to look away, Sam smiled awkwardly and she metaphorically handed that lovely thought back to him. "Maybe you should."
"I think this lands squarely within the realm of your responsibility."
Sam narrowed her eyes, not sure how true that actually was. After everything they had been through together…maybe it was a little true, after all. Her mouth suddenly dry, she swallowed hard. "I, ah, don't know how?"
Jack's eyebrows crept to his hairline as he remained stiff. "You don't know how to do something? This is a hell of a time to discover that."
"There's a lot of things I can't do. For instance -," Jack shot her a look and she fell silent. "Right. Okay. Well, what if someone comes in?"
"Then it'll be more fodder for the chinwaggers. Carter, I don't mean to rush you here." His words were a little breathless, his tone edging into impatience.
Sam almost rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay. Hold still." Sam set her shoulders and smoothed her hair back in a nervous movement. "I said hold still." She hesitated as it twitched a little.
"I can't control it."
"Right."
"Carter -,"
"Stop talking." Sam's hard stare didn't waver from the spot between his legs. Now or never.
Before she could talk herself out of it, Sam reached out and pinched the wily little guy right behind its head, then turned and launched him right out of the cave and into the retreating storm. Exhaling sharply, Sam sat back, her heart racing a little harder than she would have liked to admit.
It was just a little snake. Alien snake, she amended. Alien snake that could have been a lot worse than Earth snakes.
Glad that she hadn't had that thought until after risking her fingers, Sam turned and smiled at her still stiff general. "You gonna live?"
He didn't even have the good grace to roll his eyes. "A little too close for comfort, Carter." He patted his chest a little and then squeezed Sam's shoulder. "Thanks."
"You owe me." Sam leaned into his hand a little, her eyes warm and full of humor.
"That I do." His eyes shifted to somewhere just past her head. "And I can repay it right now."
Sam nearly jumped into the general's lap as she whirled away from the wall, her back pressed against his chest, as her eyes flew back and forth trying to find whatever it was he had just – oh.
Damn the man.
From her position half huddled on his lap she couldn't see his face. Then, she didn't actually need to see his face to feel the laughter vibrating through his chest. "Relax, I've got your back."
"Feels more like my six."
"Hm?"
"Nothing." Sam shifted, sliding off of his legs and back into the mud. "Looks like the storm is passing. We should probably…"
"Yeah." Jack tilted his head. "But, you know, that snake is out there. Maybe we should give it a minute? You know, for it to -," He made a slithering motion with his hand and Sam bit her lip to keep from laughing. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction.
"First, we get attacked by bees. Alien bees." Sam held up a finger in front of his face. She had barely wriggled out of her jacket before the little stinging buggers managed to get trapped next to her tender skin.
"Not my fault." Jack held up a finger to match hers, though his was a touch more self-righteous.
He was the one that poked the hive with a stick. Most definitely his fault.
"Second, we nearly get electrocuted by lightning because we were too distracted to notice the storm."
He held up two fingers as well. "Also not my fault."
They had been distracted by the bees that he had pissed off. His fault for sure.
Sam grabbed his fingers before he could mock her and held up three fingers on her other hand. "Third, we nearly got bitten by an alien snake in a cave."
He was almost pouting. It would have been cute under normal circumstances. "Not my fault. Again."
They were in the snake-cave because they were too distracted to notice the lightning storm because they were busy being attacked by bees. His fault. Thricely.
Sam raised her eyebrows pointedly, her fingers still wrapped around his. "All your fault, Jack."
The sudden smirk that twisted his lips did not bode well for Sam's self-control. As he tugged his hand towards his chest (and her with it, incidentally), Sam was certain that her lack of professional behavior was also going to be entirely is fault.
"Jack? Sam?" Daniel's not-far-enough-away voice bounced off the damp walls and startled Sam enough to lose whatever precarious balance she had maintained whilst providing airtight empirical evidence to the man in front of her. Toppling forward, she almost faceplanted into her general's shoulder, her nose an inch from his.
"O'Neill? Colonel Carter?" Teal'c's booming voice sounded a little concerned, but also maybe a little annoyed? Jack guessed the ruins weren't all Daniel had cracked them up to be.
Grinning wickedly, Sam leaned forward in a flash and pressed a hard kiss to her general's mouth. "This isn't over."
"I certainly hope not." Jack made a grab for Sam's waist, but she was too fast, already on her feet and pulling her still-damp shirt over her head.
"Bees, lightning, snake." Sam ticked off her fingers again as Daniel and Teal'c's shadows grew taller on the wall.
"Guys?" Daniel's head poked into the little cave; he looked a little extra dewy but otherwise none too worse for the wear. "Oh, uh, are we interrupting?"
"No." Sam said at the same time Jack answered, "Yes."
"Uh-huh." Daniel blinked at them from behind fogging glasses before cocking his head at the older man. "Jack."
"Daniel."
"Jack."
"Daniel."
"You promised that I wouldn't have to walk in on-," He made an erratic and wholly unclear gesture with his hands, "This again." Daniel folded his arms as Teal'c peered into the cave, pretending to stand guard while secretly watching his favorite reality show – 'Married with a Daniel Jackson.'
"There was a snake between my legs, Daniel!"
Sam snorted and reached down a hand for her husband. "He means an actual snake, not whatever it is I'm sure you're thinking."
"Then where's your gear and jackets? And why were you ignoring us on the radio?"
"Puh-lease don't get her started." Jack dusted off his pants and patted the suspicious archaeologist on the shoulder as he passed. "What do you say we head home, folks? I've had just about enough of this rock." He turned to wink at Sam, but really it was just for the effect on Daniel. "And I have some apologizing to get started on."
"Ew." Daniel's face twisted as he failed to stop the mental image Jack's lascivious grin conjured.
"And thus concludes the exciting adventures of SG-1 in 'Married with a Daniel Jackson.'" As three stunned pairs of eyes turned to look at him, Teal'c betrayed nothing of his inner panic and calmly strode past them all. "That was not directed at you."
"Then who was it for? T?" Jack called after the man's retreating back. "Teal'c? Buddy?"
As the sun set on this alien world full of unexpected things trying to kill them, Jack jogged to catch up with Teal'c and Sam and Daniel followed sedately, laughing and bumping shoulders as they went.
And it was nice.
End
A/N: Smol story!