Even though she should have been exhausted, Anne found herself lying awake in her bed that night long after everyone else had gone to bed. It had been a long night… she'd wound up explaining everything to her parents, every last word of it, up to and including Marcy's betrayal, seeming death, and her dream encounter with her days ago. As expected, the worst reaction came from her admitting she'd originally stolen the music box, and now she was obligated to apologize and make restitution directly to the pawn shop owner. Not exactly something se was looking forward to.

On the whole though, they'd been understanding and agreed that she'd been through more than enough, that there was no reason to add any additional punishment on top of whatever the pawn shop owner had in store.

As midnight rolled by, a notification on her phone went off. "Huh, what now,"she asked herself, popping it out of its charging cradle.

Oh.

"I… didn't realize it'd been that long already," she quietly said, putting it back. Normally, this notification would be a welcome one, a cause for celebration. This year, though… it was just another reminder of all they'd lost.

"Happy birthday, Sash," she whispered quietly to herself. "Hope you're okay, wherever you are. I'm… I'm not yet. But I think I'm getting there."

Chapter 13

Sasha's Birthday

"Up an' at 'em, girl!"

Sasha was sure there were less pleasant ways to be woken up than by being slapped by a clammy frog hand, but she didn't want to know what they were.

It wasn't Ivy's fault, she was just naturally enthusiastic. She kind of reminded her of someone else in that way. Marcy had been the kind of girl who woke with the sun, eager to get as much done as she possibly could. Sasha… wasn't that girl. If she could sleep in, she was sleeping in.

That wasn't an option when she was a guest in Felicia Sundew's home. Like her daughter, Felicia was very much a morning person, and one with very little patience for late risers.

"I'm up, I'm up," she grumbled. "You can stop slapping me."

"But it's fun," whined Ivy. Ivy was very much in the "friendship through violence" school. Sasha could relate, but not to the part where it was happening to her. "Anyway, we're going foraging for mushrooms today…"

"Exciting…" snarked Sasha.

"…in Evisceration Woods," Ivy finished gleefully. "Every kind of mushroom you can imagine, there for the taking… if you can survive the slaughter snakes, murder crows, killapedes…"

"Is everything in your world all about murder?"

"Nah. Some'll just maim you."

"Lovely. Go away. I need to get dressed."

"All right… just don't take too long. It's better to get there early, before all the creepy crawlies come out."

Sasha shuddered inwardly. She still wasn't fully adjusted to how gross this world was, and she'd been here... how long? She'd landed here on Anne's birthday… and then she'd been at Toad tower for... and on the run for… and now here in Wartwood for… so today would be…

…oh, wow. It had snuck right up on her.

This was going to be weird. Since she'd met Anne and Marcy on that playground years ago, they'd spent every birthday together. But now Anne was gone, and Marcy was… gone. To be honest… it didn't really feel like a day worth celebrating.

Not like fourteen felt much different than thirteen, anyway. If there was a difference between today and yesterday, she wasn't aware of it. Today was… just another day.

"'Kay, I'm ready," she said. Her armor'd seen better days, but it did the job… for now. The truth was, it carried a lot of unpleasant associations with the person she used to be. But it's not like there were a lot of fashionable boutiques around this Podunk town. Or like anything else really suited her at this point.

"Cool. Just picking which staff to take. Should I go with Ms. Dependable," she said holding a bamboo pole in her right hand, "or The Equalizer? Ms. D's got the durability advantage, but the Equalizer's 15% more aerodynamic."

"Go with your heart," advised Sasha.

"The Equalizer it is. It's all about speed, baby."

Sasha smiled to herself in spite of her mood. Ivy did have a way of breaking up the gloomy clouds that threatened to overwhelm her whenever she was alone. It was the reason she'd spent so much time around her since coming to Wartwood. Otherwise, she'd probably have descended into another emo phase. Once was enough, thank you.

"What do we even need mushrooms for, anyway? They're gross. I can't even stand them on pizza."

"That's 'cause you haven't tasted them in mom's caterpillar quiche. I don't really go in for the fancy stuff, but I'll make an exception for that any time."

"I'll take your word for it." She may have gotten used to frog and toad cuisine out of necessity but she did not need to know the ingredients. "Let's go get some mushrooms."

She supposed it was fortunate that they even had a chance to do something as ordinary as this. It'd been a few days since the toad attack on Wartwood, and Bog and his troops hadn't made a peep since then… in fact, no one had heard anything from the Tower in a while. Sasha was suspicious, but she was aware she shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Any break should be welcome.

And yet, without imminent death to focus on, she'd just become more aware of the tedium of everyday existence. Maybe Anne had gotten used to the slow pace of the Valley (apart from the odd giant predator attacks) but Sasha was a city gal. Country living was not her thing.

"What about this one?" she asked. "Looks okay to me."

Ivy shook her head. "That one's called a toilet brushroom."

"…as in…"

"As in you use it to clean toilets. You do not want to eat one of those. They taste awful and they'll turn you red… and that's frogs. Who knows what one of those would do to a human?'

"Ewww… okay, what about this one?" She indicated one shaped like an inverted umbrella with a green cap and black spots.

"They call that one the Giant Oozing Pus-Filled Sore Mushroom. Wanna know what it does?"

"I think I can guess, thanks."

"Hey, you'll get it eventually."

"No, I won't. Clearly, I am bad at this. Turn me loose at a sale at JT Megas, and I'm your girl. I can smell a bargain at forty paces. But this? I'm pretty much useless."

"Useless? You're, like, a former warlord!"

"You'd be surprised at how little foraging that involves. Back at the tower, if I wanted something, I made someone do it for me. Kinda the same back home, really."

"Believe me, I hear you. It'd be pretty sweet to have someone else doing this stuff for you, but it also kinda feels good to be able to do things yourself."

Sasha shrugged. "Eh… could take or leave it."

She returned to scanning for fungi, coming up on one that kinda looked vaguely like one she'd seen on one of the pizzas prepared by her personal chef back at the tower. "Hey, what about this one?"

"That's called the Tasty Yummy Delicious Mushroom," Ivy replied.

"So… it's good to eat?"

"Well, it tastes great… until it makes you puke up your insides the next day."

"OH, COME ON!"

Ivy giggled impishly. "Relax, I'm just messing with you. That mushroom's fine. The only problem is that Killapedes also love them."

Sasha looked up, and found herself staring into the red compound eyes and slavering mandibles of something very long and with way too many legs. "You don't say," she said shakily, hand reaching for her sword as the creature lunged. She rolled out of the way, swinging her blade, which was deflected by the beast's tough chitinous plates. "Ivy!" she shouted. "Get out of he-" She was gone. Where was she?

"AMBUSH!" the young frog shouted, materializing seemingly out of nowhere to descend on the Killapede from above, delivering a dazing blow on its noggin. Sasha took advantage of the creature's stunned state to deliver another attack, this time into the unprotected flesh between its segments. The Killapede convulsed in agony; apparently Sasha had struck something vital. It thrashed around for a good minute or so before finally collapsing, dead.

"Nice," admired Ivy. "Looks like we just gave Stumpy tomorrow's special. These guys are dangerous, but they're also delicious."

"Great," Sasha said lifelessly, slumping against a tree.

Ivy gave her a suspicious glance. "Okay, something's up with you. You're even grumpier than usual. Usually a good fight perks you up, but even that's not working today. What gives, Sash?"

She bristled at the sound of the nickname. It sounded weird coming from her. That was Anne's thing to call her. But Anne wasn't here, was she?

"It's… nothing. Really."

"…okay, that right there is a lie. C'mmon… friends tell friends things."

"Fine… look, I don't want anyone to make a big deal about this, but today's my birthday."

"Aw, whaaaaaaat? Why didn't you tell anyone? We could've planned something!"

"I kinda just realized it myself. It's been kind of a busy few months, and the Amphibian calendar doesn't really align with ours, so I had to do some complicated math… you know, when you think about it, it's kind of a miracle we even speak the same language… anyway, it's okay. I'm not really in a celebrating mood anyway." She sighed. "It just doesn't feel right without Anne and Marcy around."

Ivy gave her a gentle punch. "Hey, I get it. It kinda feels weird feeling good without Sprig around."

Sasha eyed her oddly. "You talk about Sprig an awful lot. You have some sorta thing going on with that twerp?"

Ivy blushed. "Don't say anything to mom. She'll get out the courtship kit again. I hate that stupid gown!"

"Don't worry. " She mimed slamming a door. "It's in the vault. And… locked." She got up. "Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I think I need to be alone for a while."

"If you're sure. I'm gonna go find a Speakerwasp and give Stumpy a call to let him know about the free Killapede meat."

"You do that. I'll see you later, little frog girl."

The fog was rolling in off the moors, making this part of the forest even gloomier somehow, as if the twisted trees and fungi and eerie noises weren't enough.

She cut a little S and a number in each tree she passed, since getting lost would probably be a death sentence. Otherwise, she had no destination in mind, she just wanted to be alone with no thoughts for a while.

Alone was something she wasn't, though, as was driven home by an arrow thunking into the tree right next to her. She whirled, sword at the ready. "Hey! Show yourself!"

"Gladly," an aristocratic-sounding voice spoke up. A bright purple newt in a hooded leather tunic emerged from the woods, a condescending smirk on his vandyke-bearded face. "Lord Mycroft von Mucus, at your service. And you are Sasha Waybright, former righthand hummus to ex-Captain Grime and current fugitive, I presume?"

Sasha bristled at once again being compared to gross garbanzo paste. Was "human" such a difficult word to remember? "Who wants to know?" she asked.

"Well, for one thing…" He produced a wanted poster with a crude drawing of Sasha on it.

"My nose isn't that big," she complained.

"The bounty on your head is, though. Quite big. The King was feeling quite generous that day, it seems. Now… to be honest, I'm not really in it for the money, more for the sport. That is why I missed the first shot, you see."

Sasha shrugged. "Oh, so you're not just a lousy shot?"

Mycroft responded by whipping out his bow for a second shot that cleaved the first arrow in two perfectly. "Not so much, no."

Okay, this was getting serious. "Too bad. You should have gone for the kill when you had a chance. "You won't get another."

"Oh, but where's the fun in that?" Mycroft responded smoothly, sinking back into the foliage.

Sasha steadied herself, listening to the rustling of the leaves to get a sense of where her opponent was hiding, making sure to always be facing in that direction, keeping alert for the telltale

twang

It didn't come quite from where she was expecting, but she was fast enough to adjust and deflect the shaft. "That's a miss, Maynerd," she taunted, deliberately getting his name wrong. Girlboss tactic number one, make it clear they're so meaningless that you can't even be bothered to remember their name.

To his credit, the bounty hunter didn't bite. There was more rustling, and then two more arrows, fired in quick succession from different angles. Again, the rustling in the leaves was proving to be not much of a help in judging the newt's actual location. For all his upper-class twit mannerisms, it seemed this Lord von Mucus actually had the skills to back his ego, at least when it came to masking his movements.

"I say," he said from seemingly everywhere, "you are proving to be more sport than I anticipated. I suppose I should expect as much from the protégé of the legendary Captain Grime."

"Some sportsman," Sasha retorted. "Too much of a coward to face me out in the open."

"Well, of course," he replied evenly. "This is a hunt, not a fight."

"I think you're just scared," Sasha replied. "You can dress it all up as some kind of noble hunt, but the reality is, you're scared to face me one on one."

"Well, that's just it, it isn't one on one." He let out a shrill whistle, and suddenly out of the foliage a bizarre cross between a wasp and a falcon dived downward with a screech. Sasha brought her sword up to defend against the bird-bug hybrid, but that left her open for Mycroft's attack. An arrow pierced her thigh, and her leg buckled under her.

"Well done, Archemis," the bounty hunter praised, dropping from the forest canopy. "I would surrender now if I were you. When the King placed a bounty on your head, he made it rather clear that he didn't particularly care how attached it was. I do prefer to deliver my quarry in one piece though. Who knows… maybe he'll have mercy on you."

Sasha knew very well how much the King's mercy was worth. She'd already lost one friend to it. "Yeah, that ain't happening." She forced herself to her feet despite her pain. "You're getting my head when you pry it from my cold, dead neck."

"Oh, I don't think that would be necessary. The venom should be starting to kick in by now."

"The…" Suddenly, the pain in her leg began to subside, which would be good if all the other feeling didn't go along with it.

"Just a touch of Archemis's venom… nonlethal, but paralyzing. It starts at the point of impact but it spreads pretty quickly… even moreso if you fight it. I'd drop my weapon now if I were you…"

"Like… hell..' She collapsed to her knee, feeling the numbness creep through her body. Her sword dropped from her hand into the mud as she fell forward, unable to even muster the strength to stop him.

"There we go. Now, shall we depart?"

So, this was how it ended for her. Alone, helpless, no deus-ex-machina superpowers kicking in at the last minute… she was just going to be carried away like a sack of potatoes and dropped in front of Andrias so he could finish the job.

Worst. Birthday. Ever.

She waited for Mycroft to start dragging her off, but the moment never came. She strained and looked up to see Mycroft suddenly being yanked out of view, followed by the sounds of a struggle. Had Ivy found her? No. She did hear new footsteps, but they were far too heavy for the juvenile frog. But… they were just heavy enough for…

"My, it seems I picked the right day to return to Wartwood, didn't I?"

"Grimesey…" Sasha said weakly, her speech slurred due to the partial paralysis of her face. "I'd say I've never been so happy to see your ugly face, but… kinda can't look up right now."

"Shhh, drink this," Grime advised, pouring the foul-tasting contents of a small bottle down her throat.

"Uggghh…" groaned Sasha, trying to spit out the bit that remained in her mouth. "Tastes like a moldy sock peed in my mouth."

"Yes, that would be the combination of beetrot and wasp urine."

"WHAT? Eww! Grime, what the hell?!" She reached for him. "I oughtta…"

"Have you noticed you can move yet? The elixir I just gave you is the only antidote to raptor wasp venom."

Sasha realized that the feeling was indeed returning to the rest of her body. "How did…"

"Please. One doesn't last this long as a warlord without learning a thing or two about poison. Now let's see what we can do about this leg wound. I would bite down on something if I were you, because this is going to hurt a lot."

"I can't imagine the pain getting- SON OF A ****ING WHORE!" she swore as Grime pulled the shaft out of her.

"Doesn't look too bad," Grime diagnosed as he applied salve and bandaged the wound. "I wouldn't do any 'cheer-leading' for a while, but you should be able to hobble back to Wartwood on your own feet."

She tested her leg; it was a bit sore despite the analgesic effect of the salve, but it held her weight. "Thanks, Grimesey."

"Thank your little friend, Ida."

"Ivy."

"Whatever. You had been gone for a long time, so she returned to town to find help, and it so happened that we met by chance. It's fortunate you left me a trail to follow."

"It was mostly so I didn't get lo- oh, look, someone's trying to sneak off…"

Grime turned to the bruised and battered von Mucus, who was attempting to sneak away. "And where do you think you're going?" he asked, pulling the bounty hunter back with his tongue.

"So… what do we do with you," Sasha asked, her dagger out.

"I am Newtopian aristocracy," protested von Mucus. "You have no right to do anything to me."

"Yeah, don't know if you heard, but Frog Valley is a free republic. You have no standing here. Sooo… You're coming with us back to Wartwood." The two grabbed some vines and tied him up.

"Let me go! I'll make it worth your while!"

"Please," Grime scoffed. "The von Mucuses have been broke for a decade. If I wanted money, I'd go to your many creditors."

"Oh, he's got nothing to worry about. They'll probably just sentence him to," she smirked, "community service… cleaning out the cowapillar stables…"

"N-no…"

Grime grinned. "Ah… that should be entertaining."

"N-NOOOO!"

"Halt, who goes there?" Constable Clancy demanded from the guard tower.

"It's just us, Dingus," grumbled Sasha, far too tired to deal with any more bull today.

"Frog Saints, how'd you know me first name?" wondered the guard, as he raised the gate.

Sasha groaned inwardly. "I am just done today. All I want to do is take a long bath and-"

"SURPRISE!"

All the townspeople had gathered in the main square around a giant cake decorated with fourteen bug-leg-shaped candles (or possibly actual bug legs set on fire, but Sasha preferred to assume the former) and the words "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SASHA".

"It's your birthday? Why didn't you tell me? I saw this shield in a Ribbitvale armor shop that would've been just your size…" complained Grime.

"I didn't tell anyone," Sasha replied, "except…"

"…look, I know you said you didn't want anyone to make a big deal about it," Ivy explained, "but you've really done so much for Wartwood in the last few weeks, it didn't feel right not to do anything."

"We didn't have much time to put this together," Stumpy added, "but I did have time to find out what yer favorite food is." He presented Sasha with a plate of surprisingly authentic-looking tacos. Sasha's stomach growled, reminding her that she really hadn't eaten much that day.

"Ohh, thanks," she said, grabbing one. "You have no idea how hungry I am… Mmm, this is sooo good. I'm not even gonna ask what kind of meat you used. *munch* …it's killapede, isn't it."

"You'll have to pry me secret recipes out of me cold dead hands… if ye can find 'em," retorted the chef. "…but if ye do find 'em, let me know. Me left hand had a very expensive ring."

"Right. Hey… what about the cake? There's no way you had the time to bake a giant cake in the time since Ivy got back."

"Actually, I already ordered the big cake," the mayor admitted bashfully. "Just a li'l weekend treat for Frodrick. But hey… I'm a magnanimous mayor, I am."

"Well, we do have one other thing that we've been saving for a special occasion," Mrs. Croaker added. She hobbled up and presented Sasha with a wrapped package. "Just a little something to complete your look.

Sasha unwrapped the package, revealing a bright green cape with the Wartwood crest on the back. "This… this is perfect," she said, fighting back tears.

"G'wan…" Croaker advised . "Try it on!"

"A-all right," Sasha replied, fastening it to her armor. It was weird… five months ago she'd come to this town to imprison them. And now they looked to her as their hero. It was absurd on the face of it, and yet… it felt like her life had been leading to this. Was this what it felt like for you, Anne? To be accepted by the ones that used to hate you?

Anne… Marcy… it feels so wrong they're not here with me. Yet… would I even be here if they were okay? Would I ever have changed the way I have if I didn't have Anne's example or Marcy's memory to live up to? All I can do now is continue to be the person they wished I could.

"Thank you," she said. "I… I really don't deserve all this fuss, but… I'm really glad you went to it. It feels good to know that you care about me. And I promise to continue to work hard for your trust."

"Enough with the sap, it's about time we party froggystyle!" shouted One-Eyed Wally, launching not an impromptu accordion solo. "Ohhhh… sing a song of Sasha, a lady fierce an' true! If you try an cross 'er, it's a sound thrashin' f'r you!"

As the townspeople joined in, the briefly-forgotten von Mucus meekly asked "Do I get some cake?" receiving only a thump on the head from Grime as an answer.

Anne… wherever you are… I hope you're okay. I'm… I'm not yet. But I think I'm getting there.

And Marcy… if there's a heaven, I hope you're up there watching over us.

Newtopia Castle

King Andrias was not pleased.

Word had come that Captain Beatrix had been seen alive, and that she and her surviving troops had joined the rebellion. The South Tower had been silent for over a week, and rumor had it that Jacinda had disappeared entirely and Captain Bog and his soldiers had abandoned their post. And now, apparently, Frog Valley had declared itself independent. And on top of that, his assassin-droid had utterly failed to kill the Boonchuy girl.

"I swear, some days it's just no fun being a tyrant," he muttered to himself as he descended to the Night's lair.

In her pod, the comatose Marcy Wu floated. Andrias noted her vitals were stronger now, the new regeneration formula having done its trick. Aside from a slight mottling of the skin near her hairline, it appeared the newt stem cells had meshed well with her human DNA.

He prostrated himself before The Night. "It appears your vessel is ready, master," he informed. "This world has forgotten your name, but soon it shall known to all. It is time… for Night to fall over Amphibia." He grinned. "You… you like what I did there? I honestly just came up with it on the spot. Spur of the moment. Really."

One by one, its bakers' dozen of orange eyes opened. Its emotions (if indeed it could be said to have any; judging such a creature by the standards of amphibianity was sheer folly) were impossible to discern.

But Andrias was convinced that it looked pleased.

A.N.: And that's it for this series! Thanks to all of you who liked, subscribed, and commented, and I would have loved to continue but this story has already diverged way the hell from canon, and I don't wanna go back and rewrite it. I just figured that this would be a good place to leave off.

Jose: Awesome pun game as always.

I don't know when I'm going to start doing Anne's Journal, I may just take a break for a while, maybe go back to Body Issues II, see if my hiatus from that story resparked my creative juices… either way, I'll see you around!