Tiny specks of condensation covered the few remaining leaves on the apple tree Victorie was sitting under. They sparkled in the light. The sun was out on this late November morning, but it wasn't providing much warmth. The grass was frosty and white around her, dotted red by a few half rotten apples.

Tucked under her thick Gryffindor robe with the scarf to go along with it, she was flicking through The Lavender Waltz with a growing devotion. The book was jam-packed with obscure recipes for herbal medicine. Each chapter was on a different plant and a deep dive into its uses for spells, rituals and remedies.

Eagerly her eyes were darting across the text of the yellowed pages when something hit her in the head. She immediately regretted having sat down underneath a tree full of decaying apples. But upon looking around her with one hand tending to the achy top of her head she found not an apple, but a ball.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for that to hit you in the head." Teddy said hurriedly. She looked up at him as he stopped in front of her, thinking that his apology would have been more effective had he not seemed so damn amused.

As her gaze flitted over him, squinting at her in the sunlight with a crooked smile, she wondered briefly if that smile had been kissed yesterday, but pushed the thought aside.

He wore the same winter robe as she with his usual messenger bag hanging far below his hip, and wearing his beaten up vans of course.

Once she had managed to stabilise her gaze, the apology seemed perfectly effective after all.

"You grew your hair out." She noted.

Teddy didn't look at her, but ran his hand through his dark hair as he went to sit down next to her. The hair fell in layers around his face, long enough now to conceal his stretched ears. Feeling upset about the lack of sighting of his piercings was a recent development.

"I spoke with Jamie." He began. "He told me you had a pretty bad time yesterday?"

Victorie raised her chin up and went on to firmly declare, "Attempting to create meaningful relationships is a draining process that leaves you feeling worthless."

"Want to tell me about it?" Teddy asked, speaking like he'd already guessed the answer.

Victorie paused. It was all she wanted. But she knew that she would have to remain aloof if she wanted to not seem desperate for a shoulder to cry on.

Then about five seconds later she proceeded to go through the events of the date with very few breathing breaks in between. Teddy listened carefully. At the end, he asked, "And did you get to put your kissing to the test?" with raised brows and a semi-functional smile.

"Are you not hearing me?" She suggested sassily. "After all that I've told you, do you really suppose the story ends with us sharing a goodnight kiss under some lamppost or something?" She spewed the words out.

To her surprise, Teddy snorted. She watched his face contort with amusement, wishing she could share the same liberated glee he was exhibiting, but she couldn't. So she glared instead.

In her desire to take him down to her level of contentment, she decided to confess her change of heart. "Anyway... Jamie said some things yesterday that made me reconsider what I'm trying to achieve. You know, with you helping me navigate my social life."

Teddy held her gaze as she spoke, pacing himself for what she was about to tell him.

"...And yeah, basically I no longer see a point in it." She continued with a neutral voice.

He wore an enigmatic expression, looking not at her but near her.

"So yeah, I quit."

His eyes flickered to hers, but only for a second. Then he entrenched himself in staring at the same spot in deep thought, tugging a straw of grass between his fingers.

"It's just fruitless at this point, you know?"

Teddy's lip was straight as a line, and she didn't feel like looking at it, so she looked around him instead.

"Where's your course literature?" She asked.

It was time for another one of their exchanges of services. She'd cleverly called for it so as to not have to make it obvious that she actually just needed him to vent to. Even though she had given up her belief in the social lessons, she still hadn't given up on her endeavour to help him.

"Didn't bring it." He said casually.

Her features turned cross. "And I thought gone were the days of me needing to lend you my copies..."

"No, they still are." He picked the ball off the ground, threw it up in the air and caught it upon its return. "I actually already finished all of my homework."

"You did?" She asked. Her tone was loaded with scepticism.

"I thought it would give us more time to focus on what's really important." He dedicated himself to watching her keenly and completely, but kept flinging the ball steadily up and down.

Victorie wanted to roll her eyes or make a comment on his ability to always demean the importance of his studies, but she didn't say anything. She was all too curious to know what he deemed to be more important, and what would make him behold her with such a stare.

No matter what it was though, she had a nagging feeling that it would be something they wouldn't see eye to eye on.

Then a grin spread across his face. "That's right: getting you out of your social funk!" He announced.

Victorie groaned loudly, almost getting ready to do a face-palm. "I told you, I'm done!"

But Teddy wouldn't accept it. "No. You're not done." He seemed to have decided without taking her opinion into account.

"Um, I think there's one vote on this matter you forgot to count." She said facetiously and demonstrated by raising her hand.

Teddy resorted to staring at her. She began to feel like he might have been about to budge, but then he stood up in one swift motion with the ball gripped tightly in his fist.

"I refuse to let you give up." He said and reached his other hand out for her to grab. "I made a promise to you."

She didn't remember him making such a promise, but decided to let him have his loyal moment instead of pointing it out. "Why are we standing up?" She questioned, nevertheless taking his hand and letting herself be pulled up.

"Because we need to be for today's lesson." The words came out demanding. He brushed off his robe, and she felt he might as well be holding a pointing stick given how authoritative he was coming across.

"And what do you need the ball for?" She asked dryly.

He lit up at that and said, "The ball is going to be my very clever metaphor." while flashing her a smile.

For a few moments she said nothing. She was taking him in, a smile playing at her lips, but not once losing her poise. He was holding her stare admirably, resolute in his choice.

After a while she caved. She had to know what he had in store for her. "You know what? I think I need to see this actually."

"Wise decision." Teddy held a hand up, indicating for her to remain stagnant. He moved backward to create some distance between the two of them. "Jamie told me about how you felt. He said you were feeling kind of hopeless."

Victorie nodded in agreement and Teddy went on, "He told me you seemed like you were under a lot of pressure."

Victorie nodded to that too.

"I think I have a solution." He said it like he was about to write down a sequence of numbers on a chalkboard that was going to solve all her problems.

To be perfectly honest, she didn't have even the slightest faith that he was going to pull it off.

"Talking can be a high pressure situation." He began. "You can liken it to playing catch. Now I'm holding the ball, I'm the one carrying the conversation. But as soon as I stop..."

He started aiming at her. "...You have to be ready to catch it."

And then he threw the ball to Victorie. She stretched her arm out and caught it with a shaky grip. Then she looked across from her at Teddy, feeling unsure of what to do next.

"It's a lot of pressure, right?" He smiled at her despite how unenthused Victorie was looking.

She twisted the ball in her hand, studying it.

"How do we take pressure off the situation then?" Teddy asked rhetorically. "Well, here's what I think." He changed his stance so that he was prepared, and commanded, "Throw the ball at me."

The redhead hesitated before tentatively raising her ball-throwing arm, swinging it forward seconds later.

Teddy put his hand up, about to catch it, but in the last second he retracted the hand and let the ball fly by him.

"You have to intentionally drop the ball." He explained.

Victorie squinted at the boy. Yet again his advice seemed to go against all his previous.

"To not follow the rules of the game is the ultimate way to take control of the game." He grinned. "My advice to you from now on is: don't follow the rules. Or better yet — make up your own rules. Talk when you want to talk, not because you feel you need to catch the ball."

"Because going about things my own way has been so helpful in the past..." She mumbled sarcastically. But she was too far away from Teddy for him to hear it.

As much as she now understood the inner workings of Teddy's motivations, and the façade had indeed been shattered, she still couldn't help but feel that he had a genuine will to help her out, and an earnest passion for the subject. He was kind of the perfect teacher, and good at it too. Yet she remained cynical as to whether any of what he had said actually made sense.

"Not sure if any of this would have helped me out on my date with Ciaran." She pondered aloud.

"I don't think there's much that could have helped you on your date with Ciaran." Teddy revealed, then retrieved the ball off the grass and brushed it off with his hand.

She peered at him with insecure eyes. "What do you mean?"

"You guys just weren't right for each other, and I don't think that's something that could be helped." He threw the ball at her.

Victorie stared at Teddy, but still ended up catching it quite gracefully. The ball fell into her hand seamlessly.

"Why can't it be helped?" She threw the ball back at him with more force than intended. The implication that there was something she couldn't perfect, or even improve, annoyed her to bits.

"It's a chemistry thing." He said casually, and stumbled back to catch the hard ball. Once balance had been regained he went on, "Some people you will have chemistry with, and some people you won't. It's not something that can be helped."

"And how do you know if you have chemistry with someone?" She asked curiously, complexion no longer cynical. Somewhere along the way he had once again ensnared her into his way of thinking. She caught the ball and threw it back in the same motion.

Every time she tossed the ball his way, he would inch closer to grab it, gradually creating less distance between them. "If you do... Well then all of this will be easy. Having chemistry with someone is when it all comes effortlessly. You don't need to try to become friends. You just will."

Given how exhausted Victorie currently felt of having to think about the way she carried herself in all situations, what he was explaining sounded like a dream. "But how?" She pressed.

Teddy seemed lost for an explanation at first, then a smile spread across his face, and he said dramatically, "By the sheer force of your chemistry."

He hurled the ball up into the air — it was the only place for it to go at this point, unless he was to hand it to her. The ball sailed down, and Victorie reached out her hand, letting the ball crash into it.

She looked down at the ball hopelessly. "What if I won't ever have chemistry with anyone?"

"I'm sure you already have." He said with amused assurance.

Him being so convinced only made her feel worse. Like it was some sort of right of passage she'd failed. So intrinsic that he couldn't fathom the idea of someone not having experienced it.

"I really haven't." She established hollowly.

"Victorie." Teddy took the ball from her and looked her right in the eyes, like trying to force his words into the brain of hers. "Can you really not think of a single person you have chemistry with?" Voice stained with implication.

Dumbstruck she met his eye line. His lips twitched, charmed by her naiveté. She couldn't comprehend why he would look so amused. Her life failings were not funny to her in the least.

She stared at the hills of grass around her. The connotations of what this meant dawned on her. Like catatonic, she turned in her place and began making her way back toward the castle.

Oh my god. I'm a recluse. She thought to herself.

Teddy ran his hands through his hair and watched her stalk off. He shook his head in frustration, but couldn't stop smiling at how silly this girl was. He knew he would have to check up on her later, but for now he let her go.

Victorie was in loungewear, laying flat on her stomach in her bed. The bed sheet had not been stretched in days. It was wrinkled and uncomfortable. Around her was course literature and parchment used for past essays splayed out over her nightstand and on the floor.

Clothes were scattered just kind of everywhere. She was lying on her favourite sweater and Walpurgis the cat was curled up against her, lying atop some of her stockings. She had a hand resting on him, feeling his chest rise and fall with every breath. It comforted her.

Her dorm mates were currently reading her horoscope to her out of Witch Weekly in an effort to cheer her up, to which Victorie would mumble, "Wildly inaccurate..." every once in a while.

There was a knock on the door. It made Victorie raise her head slightly and the girls sat up fully where they were perched on Maya's bed. They all looked at each other and counted themselves.

They omitted a high-pitched, "Come in." in unison. The words felt odd on their tongues as they knew that no one but them was to be let in.

Teddy stepped in through the door, met with three girls staring at him. He shrunk under their gazes and looked over at Victorie. "I had to make sure you were okay." He piped.

Victorie's mouth was in an O-shape. He walked up to her bed. Normally she would worry about the mess around her. But she found now that she didn't care.

Delilah bored her eyes into Maya. "Have you taught him how to bewitch the staircase?"

"No!" She defended.

"I have contacts outside of you two who help me with this kind of stuff..." Teddy said ambiguously and sat down on the floor next to Victorie's bed.

"Are you bribing people again?" Victorie suggested drowsily from the depressed state of her bed. Her voice made him forget the conversation they were having and he furrowed his brows.

"Are you okay?" He looked around at the state of her space, and she felt inclined to tell him that the mess was not something out of the ordinary, but thought better of it.

Victorie's tone took on some more stamina when she replied, "Am I okay? Yes. Am I okay with the fact that the only person who ever gave me a chance has abandoned me and I'm utterly incapable of making anyone else like me, meaning that I'm now destined to remain alone forever? No."

She felt the whole room do an eye roll, but she didn't care. She was really struggling, and she was going to sulk about it, letting the world in on her self-deprecation as much as she pleased.

"Please, Victorie. You need to get over this idea that people don't like you." He reached a hand up to the bed to pet Walpurgis. The little cat began vibrating against Victorie. "You've successfully improved your relationship with these two." He suggested, pointing at Delilah and Maya.

"Only because they magically started being much nicer to me." Victorie quipped back in a whisper.

But the whisper hadn't helped. "We've always been nice to you!" Delilah professed. "You on the other hand, stopped shutting us out every chance you get." She huffed and crossed her arms.

"That's right." Maya agreed. "We always invite you to read magazines with us. We ask if you want to join us in the common room. We sit with you at meals in the Great Hall. We even bring you food every time you miss dinner!"

Victorie sat up and looked across the room at them. "Wait, what? That's you?"

"Yeah! You think the food just magically appears?" She asked sarcastically.

"I thought it was the house elves!" Victorie admitted.

The room went quiet and the two girls shook their heads. Maya directed herself at Teddy. "Please don't give up on her, she desperately needs you."

"Not planning on it." He said with a hand still on the cat and a knowledgeable smile sent Victorie's way.

Staring emptily in front of her, Victorie mumbled, "I wish I could repay you somehow for all the dinners."

A moment passed. Then in an instant she began rummaging around all her stuff. She pulled open the draw to her nightstand. Inside were two things. Her priced Lunascope, and a lone leftover Chinese Fortune Stick.

She presented the fortune stick to the two girls proudly. "Take it." She said, but the girls couldn't look more unenthused.

Victorie eventually gave up when neither of them moved. She collapsed on her bed again. Perhaps people didn't have a problem with her. Perhaps she had a problem with everyone else.

Then she had an idea.

Victorie rose up once again. She let her feet fall down on the floor and into her slippers to combat the cold floors she would have to endure on the way over to Delilah's bed.

She sat down on the edge of it. "What should we do?" She looked between them without hesitation. "We'll do whatever you guys want."

Their eyes went wide and they looked at each other excitedly. Delilah got up and basically pushed a protesting Teddy out of the room. "And don't even think about enchanting our staircase again!" She called before shutting the door behind him.

Victorie studied the scene for any potential sparks between them. The rude but playful way Delilah behaved around the boy, was it flirting she was witnessing?

A smile played at Delilah's lips when she made her way back to the bed.

Did she want to know the answer to that question?

Thus unfolded a night of girlish sleepover activities. Things Victorie couldn't have envisioned even in the highest of fever dreams.

It began with Maya turning up Dark Potions. Then the makeovers started. Apparently the rule was you had to pick a style that was the opposite of your own. Maya received a feminine look. Her hair was curled into perfect little locks. She received sparkly lip-gloss and rosy cheeks, lash extensions and nail polish. Topped off with a pink cami top and a black skirt.

Victorie received the goth-experience. Straightened hair, a smoky eye, black lipstick, heavy silver jewellery and a black velvet dress.

She looked at herself in a full body mirror, despite the discrepancy of being dressed up while still in her slippers she was happy with the result.

See, all of it was pointless because they weren't going anywhere. But Victorie still had fun when she got to give Delilah a cute blouse, put excessive make-up on her and do her hair.

After that they all laid on pillows and blankets on the floor drinking bottled pumpkin fizz and eating cauldron cakes as they finished reading the magazine.

Victorie learned from her horoscope that she shouldn't lend anyone money in the coming week, or make any big life decisions. She would have success on a big project, and that there might be a new love in her life.

Delilah shut the magazine against her chest and gasped, "I know who it's going to be!" She teased.

"Is it...?" Maya looked at Delilah and trailed off. The two squealed and Victorie rolled her eyes, although not without a subtle lip twitch.

Her eyebrows shot up. "Are you going to tell me at any point what the two of you are on about?" She asked dryly.

"We will if you play truth or dare with us." Maya said with a suggestive glance sent Delilah's way.

Even though their scheming made her feel left out and generally just didn't sit well with her, this night was about making up for all the times she'd been a bore. And she was not going to be a bore tonight. She ripped the magazine out of Delilah's hands and put it down on the floor. She uttered only one simple word:

"Dare."

About five minutes later Victorie had the two girls in a giggling fit on the floor in front of her. She was sitting cross-legged on one of the blankets, wrapped from head to toe in toilet paper, vaguely resembling a cartoonish zombie.

"Your turn Delilah." Victorie spoke through the toilet paper wrapped around her head. "But you can't pick dare, since I just did." She said assertively. She wasn't just going to play the game — she was going to control it. If that meant making up a rule to get what she wanted, then so be it.

"Then truth." Delilah chimed with her back against the floor.

"Who was the last person you kissed?" Victorie asked. Her hot breath bounced against the toilet paper as she spoke.

Delilah went quiet for a moment. "I haven't kissed anyone." She said finally.

Relief washed over Victorie, followed by guilt at having ambushed her with the question. But so was the nature of the game, and they had all agreed to play it.

Delilah dared Maya to eat ten exploding bonbons. "Bleh!" She cried out and chugged down a lot of pumpkin fizz after. "My mouth feels sore!" She complained.

"Relax, it'll pass in a few minutes." Delilah muttered.

Once calmed down, Maya turned to Victorie. "Okay, since you picked dare last time. I guess that means you have to pick truth now." She said.

Victorie sighed at her manipulation tactics, but let her have it. "Fine. Truth." She said while tearing off some of the toilet paper from her face.

"Do you fancy Ethan?" Maya asked.

Victorie stopped mid motion. "No!" She spat, without really even considering it. Ethan had a grudge toward her, and she wasn't about to give off any pretence that she was somehow pining for someone who wouldn't look at her twice.

"But he likes you!" Delilah barged in with. "Haven't you noticed?"

She looked at them like they had gone insane. "To him I'm the prat who didn't bother to learn his name for six years."

"That was before, when he was using bitterness as a façade to cloud his real emotions." Maya asserted with confidence and took the last swig of her pumpkin fizz.

"Now you're the girl he couldn't help but steal glances at during his own house's Quidditch game." Delilah explained giddily.

As the first shock waves of what she was hearing settled, she had to admit to herself that it was becoming harder and harder to find any actual evidence that people around her wouldn't give her a chance.

"So?" She heard one of them faintly say in the background of her conscience.

"What?" Victorie asked.

Delilah was sitting cross-legged, holding her legs and cradling herself back and forth excitedly. "So, would you go out with him? We can set you up."

Victorie thought back on the date with Ciaran. "Absolutely not." She declared.

Neither Maya nor Delilah looked convinced, so Victorie further explained, "Dating is just not for me..."

The two girls wouldn't budge however. They were still patiently awaiting a yes. But Victorie was impervious, determined not to put herself through that again.

She let the idea simmer in her mind though. Was she never going to put herself out there again? And what if she actually had chemistry with Ethan? Was that even possible?

Feeling like this subject was not going to be dropped so easily, Victorie took the only safe road she knew. "I'm going to bed." She said, and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Published: 2 April 2022