It took a while for Cloud to begin trying to reach out to his network. His original phone had been taken. But it was designed to only work for him. Should anyone else try then it will erase everything from contacts, emails, everything that was his way of checking in on his birds.

He tried messing with his PHS. But he quickly learned there was a reason why this had to be ordered. The Turks messed with it that it only worked for Shinra related things. Mission intel, messages to anyone worked under Shinra, he couldn't even venture off the Shinra websites.

Hell he couldn't even have access to the news.

They seriously capped him with the PHS. They were aware of his network. And because they couldn't get access to control it, they stripped him from being able to reach out from within Shinra. It wouldn't surprise Cloud if it somehow kept track of where he went or who talked with him.

"What are you plotting?" Sephiroth observed he spent more time messing with the PHS recently.

"Just figuring this thing out. It's very different than what they give us as recruits." Cloud shrugged, brushing off the suspicion.

"It's simple. There's nothing complicated about it."

"They capped me from being able to do anything. It's not that simple."

"Don't go around saying that. I don't care so long as you're not actually doing anything. But others will take it as a means you're planning something." The general warned.

"I know. Hence why I only bother messing with it here so no one sees." Cloud wasn't at all bothered.

"...How did you build your network? If you don't mind me asking." Sephiroth was curious.

"It wasn't just me. I happened to meet the right kind of people in my line of work as a mercenary. They helped put the word out I'm good and from there I guess it grew. Some of them taught me a few tricks on how to build secret chat rooms, special emails and even set my old phone where it will only work for me."

"So you have a vast number of information just given to you." Sephiroth tilted his head. "No wonder Tseng wanted you so bad."

"Not that I would bend to be a Turk. Not my style. Besides, it meant I would have to be unenhanced. I aim to get stronger. Being a Turk would be a major setback."

"So you're seeing the advantages of staying here." The general caught on.

"It's better to change from within, not force from the outside. That would just create more bloodshed, more unnecessary risks, and anything can go wrong."

"What do you do with this endless information flowing to you?"

"I search for leads. Anything to give me an edge to stay out of sight of Shinra. Possible evidence that I'm not crazy. That these dreams aren't just dreams. And if I even find any of them, the people I've dreamed of, then I know I'm not just insane. With that proof then all I have to do is somehow change whatever it was that was the breaking point."

"And what of me?" Sephiroth stared.

"I'm realizing now that you're not like my nightmares. But I can't shake this feeling that it could happen. I'd like to prevent that, although I don't know what it is that I'm searching for to ensure you stay as you are now." Cloud was honest.

"Those dreams won't show me the before or after of what lead up to what I'm dreaming. I don't see the cause, and for most of them I don't see an aftermath. So I'm left with more questions than answers. Then it makes me question if I'm just crazy, but if I am, then why do I have this sense that some things are familiar?"

"What differences are you already seeing?"

"For one, neither of you big three have wings. I don't know all the details. These are just as vague, the cause or the why, but your friends should have gone AWOL by now. And they learn of their wings."

"...Wings?" Sephiroth latched onto this detail.

"You get yours later, I think. It's black, and it makes me think of a swan. It comes out of your right shoulder. Angeal is the same, but his is white. And actually, there is a smaller one underneath the main one. Then Genesis, his is the left side. And it's...deformed. The shape is odd, but it's still a functional wing. Once he learns of it he always has it out."

"Only one wing?"

"Maybe to represent that you're all still human in a way. I have no idea. I wondered the same thing on and off."

"But you said Angeal has two. And they're white. What color is Genesis wing?"

"Black. Out of the three of you, his has the biggest wingspan. Maybe it's deformed because of his personality. Twisted from pain and unbridled fury. Angeal's look thinner. Timid. Yours is perfect with your body and height. And powerful. Like..." Cloud realized he was rambling and he closed his mouth.

Sephiroth noticed of course. He studied the blond, who was trying to busy himself with the PHS again. But it couldn't hide the faint blush on his cheeks.

Cloud wanted to curse himself. Despite the nightmares, the longer he remained close to Sephiroth the more he didn't see what his nightmares made him out to be. And ever slowly the admiration that he used to have as a naive, hopeful little boy who wished to be rise the ranks like Sephiroth.

His hero.

And possibly more than hero.

No, nope. Not going there. Cloud thought of Tifa's chest. A chest she hasn't fully grown into yet. Somehow that didn't even help.

"What are some of the dreams that aren't so chaotic?" Sephiroth wondered.

"There's the one of my mom. Sometimes I dream of a bed of flowers. Just me and the flowers. Then there's a moment where I'm walking in Wall Market, wearing a dress." Cloud sat up, he had been laying on the couch while Sephiroth was at the table.

"You did not hear that last part!" He panicked.

"You? In a dress?" Sephiroth eyed him over. "You can actually pull that off."

"No! You're not gonna do anything with that information! Don't even try to blackmail me! I won't do it!" Cloud blushed deeply.

"Perhaps I'll let it slide if you describe the dress." The general smirked playfully.

"Fuck you!" His threat wasn't very threatening.

"Shouldn't you be asking me to fuck you? After all it is I that does the fucking around here."

"Oh my - " Cloud squirmed, torn between throwing something at Sephiroth or tease the hell out of him. He wasn't prepared to Sephiroth having a playful side. And exceptionally lewd.

"Describe the dress and I will drop the teasing."

Cloud almost groaned. He didn't understand why he gave in. But he knew that Sephiroth really wouldn't stop until he gave in.

"...Lilac purple. It has white frills everywhere, and laced in black. It has a hoop skirt. There's a rose on the chest. I have hair extensions in the back to make my hair shoulder length. And I also have make up that brings out the...more feminine side of my face."

"Do you know why you're donning such an outfit? In Wall Market of all places?"

"I have no idea. I know following me is the girl in pink. But she's wearing a very gaudy but sexy red dress that brings out her deep green eyes."

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes at the description. The way Cloud focused on the color of her eyes. The blond shifted, realizing his mistake.

"...I woke up from complete embarrassment before we reached our destination." Cloud finished, biting his lip.

"What is your preference?"

"My preference?" Cloud echoed in confusion.

"Men or women."

"...I don't know? I just know I like long hair. And...you're my first." His blush came back full force.

"I find that surprising, with the way your body can easily accept me."

"...When I stayed in Wall Market after my photo was captured, I did have offers. Being a dancer at the Honey Bee Inn kind of attracted the wrong kind of attention. Andi protected me because of my age. Said he wanted my first time to be with someone I would cherish rather than give it away for money."

Cloud had no idea why he was revealing any of this. Perhaps he wanted to put Sephiroth at ease. However he realized that he might have just placed Andrea in danger.

"And do you? Cherish our first time?" Sephiroth wasn't giving the name any attention.

"Yes." Cloud answers too eagerly. "I mean, yes."

The general relaxed at the admission. His eyes weren't burning with jealousy anymore. If anything they seemed more relieved. His laptop went off from an email or something, and he switched his focus to whatever it was.

Cloud laid back down. He tried to get back to fiddling with his PHS. But he realized he was getting nowhere with it. With an irritated sigh he turned in for the night in his own bed. He only shared with Sephiroth when he needed help with his Rut.

That night he dreamed of Zack's death.

Cloud awoke crying. He was too used to these to scream anymore. However it had been so long since he had one of these dreams that he was overwhelmed.

Quietly he made his way into Sephiroth's room. He crawled in next to him. The movement was enough to awaken the general. In the darkness he studied the poor state the blond was in.

Seeing the tears he wrapped his arms around Cloud and held him close. Securely and wrapping him in his warmth. When it looked like it would be a while to find sleep Sephiroth spoke.

"Tell me about the peaceful dreams."

The blond thought about them. Trying to search his memories, as if sorting through the bad and good dreams.

"There was one where I'm off riding on a bike. It's an awesome bike. If I ever get the time, I think I might try to build it myself. It has weapon compartments. And despite its size and weight class she can go fast."

"You like a good adrenaline rush." Sephiroth observed.

"Gotta with so much mako in me. Don't tell me you don't have some hobby."

At Sephiroth's silence Cloud lifted his head.

"You really don't have a hobby."

"Never had time to learn what I liked."

"Maybe it's time you learn. You've got another two months away from the war. Why not use the time to learn a little more about yourself?" Cloud suggested. "I mean, Angeal likes mentoring. Genesis has his book. Zack...does whatever is fun."

"Maybe. We're getting distracted. You were saying about riding a bike."

"Oh, yeah. So it's just me on my bike. Riding around making deliveries. I don't watch for the speed. I just go at whatever pace I feel like. The faster I go, more it feels like I'm flying with the wind in my face. The way the ground glides under me. It makes me feel...free."

"You wish you had wings." Sephiroth observed.

"Who wouldn't? You can go anywhere. The possibilities are endless. The sky is the limit. And to be up so high, looking down, everything just seems so small. Like your problems aren't so big anymore. And it gets you thinking about the whole world. That everyone has their own miniscule problem. And it's just the way of life."

"You have a very interesting views of the world." Sephiroth commented.

"Can you blame me? These dreams, they scare me. Sometimes I can't tell the difference between dream or reality. So I find ways to prove that I'm in the real world, not just a dream that feels so real and alive like I'm in another world."

"Such as what?" The general grew concerned.

"...On bad days I cut myself. On my legs." Cloud bit his lip.

"Show me."

Reluctantly Cloud pulled away to pull up a pants leg. Even in the darkness Sephiroth could see the healed scars on the front of Cloud's legs. Some are even on his thighs. Why hadn't he noticed these before? Even after their numerous times of seeing each other naked he hadn't noticed these scars.

"Swear to me you won't do this again." Sephiroth met those eyes, and for once they became timid at the request.

"...I don't know how strong I will be not to try when I'm at my weakest point. But I will try my best. To be fair, I haven't felt that way in a long while." Cloud bit his lip.

"I suppose that's enough. Now, back to peaceful dreams." They got distracted again.

And slowly Cloud relaxed enough to find sleep again. He had gone a while with other dreams that weren't horrible. Sephiroth watched over him for a while.

All the while he wondered why his right shoulder ached.