Chapter 3

Christian walked to his office and paced back and forth. He talked to himself, almost trying to talk himself out of it. "I can't be in love. I don't love, I fuck, hard. Oh fuck!" He tried to call John Flynn. He was his counselor and the only one who knew his secrets. He didn't get an answer and slammed his cellphone down, "Fuck!"

He breathed hard, he needed a girl immediately. He turned his phone over and scrolled over the names and saw Elena Lincoln's name. He hadn't talked to her for weeks and had actually been ignoring her calls. Dr. Flynn had finally gotten Christian to understand how much Elena fucked him up.

He even let his last submissive girl go. Leila Williams was a good one. She did everything he ever wanted, and she screwed up on purpose giving Christian the opportunity to punish her regularly. He put the phone down. Christian hated Elena, but he had control, that's the one thing she did teach him that was right, but every other thing was fucking sick.

Elena Lincoln and his mother had been best friends for years, but she wouldn't be if he told the truth. She knew Christian ever since he was three and Carrick and Grace adopted him. When he first came to live with them, Elliot was 5 and Mia wasn't even born. As Christian got older he had a hard time and he got in trouble a lot. Grace often went to Elena to vent and why not, they were best friends.

When Christian was 15, Grace went to Elena crying, Carrick had enough. Christian was expelled from private school and they had no choice but to put him in public school or send him away to military school. Elena talked her into public school and she said he just needed some discipline. Christian started going over to her house everyday and working on the yard. It was all for show. Elena was abusing him daily. She's the one that taught him about BDSM. It had become his lifestyle. Even when he decided to go to college across the country, she had her hooks in him.

One thing changed him months ago, after the new year Leila told him Elena was using him. She overheard a conversation and told him about it. Christian didn't believe her and beat her badly. Leila cared about him, she only did what she did for her young son. She just wanted to give him everything she didn't have.

Christian wasn't dumb, he knew Elena was using him and his money. He had given her money to open up several spas in Seattle. It was their deal, he became her business partner and she agreed to leave him alone.

Leila found out she had illegal activities in the back of each spa. She wouldn't let it go and said she had proof. He was furious and called Leila a liar. He had her in the red room of his home and threatened to punish her, but she played the video on her phone before he hit her.

The video showed Elena questioning her about keeping Christian happy and not telling about her side business. She called Christian a fool and said he wasn't a true dominant, he was actually just a submissive himself. That's when he dismissed her. He felt bad, she was his friend and he didn't understand why she wanted to help him. He never had friends so he didn't even see it. He gave her 5 million dollars and a real chance to start over.

She took the money and left town and Christian started therapy. Christian's phone rang, "Grey!" It was Dr. Flynn, he helped calm him down. "I can't be in love." Flynn smiled and disagreed, "Christian you've come so far in such a short time. I definitely think it's possible." Christian sighed, he didn't think so. He hadn't had sex in months. The only pleasure he had was from his own hand. He and Flynn had discussed it, a real relationship would require the truth, the whole truth. He couldn't imagine ruining his family or career. He told Flynn he would see him for their usual appointment Thursday afternoon.

He turned on his computer and read the information his tech guy sent him on Anastasia Rose Steele. She was beautiful, but she would deserve to know the truth. He called down to Taylor and asked him to deal with her car, have it fixed, and delivered to her by the morning. Even though it was well after 7:00, he was Christian Grey and he could make anything happen.

He read on and saw she was a senior with an English literature major. She had even recently applied for a job at SIP. Christian actually just purchased SIP. The company was going under and Ros thought it was a good investment, plus it was the last major publishing company in Seattle. If Christian lost money, it wasn't a big deal. That also was the main reason to have ties with Eamon Kavanagh, which is why he gave his daughter the interview. Christian didn't do anything by accident.

He pulled up her resume and pushed her to the front for an interview. She didn't have any experience so a personal assistant would be her best bet without him getting completely involved. This was probably more help than she wanted. Ana didn't seem like the "give me" type of girl.

He kept looking and saw her address and phone number, "Fuck! I'm an idiot! I didn't ask for her fucking number." Christian didn't date, so everything was new. He sighed and did the craziest thing. He dialed her number.

The phone rang and Christian tapped his foot like a nervous horny 15 year old and he heard the sweetest voice. "Hello?" Christian smiled. How can someone sound so nice after that trashy day? "Hello?"

Christian cleared his throat, "Uh hi, Anastasia?" He sounded so unsure, but he could sense her smile and relaxation on the other end. Then he heard that light giggle that sent waves to all the wrong parts of his body.

Ana smiled, "Hi Christian. How did you get my number? And don't tell me because I signed in your building." She waited for him to explain his way out of that. She knew Christian was full of it.

He sighed, "Ok, you've got me. I had my tech guy find your information." Ana immediately got upset, saying that had to be illegal. Christian interrupted, "I know I shouldn't have, but I was an idiot and didn't get your number. I have someone looking at your car and if it can be fixed, you should get it in the morning. I knew you were worried about towing and I felt bad you fainted at my place." He paused and heard her saying something about money and paying him back. "Hey no worries, it's the least I can do since you won't sue me." Then he heard the giggle again.

Ana smiled, "Christian, thank you. I mean it's all my fault. How about this? You pick the day and come to my place and I'll fix you dinner." Christian smiled wide and thought this dating stuff might be easy. "Oh and bring Elliot, because I live with Kate and they have been texting all night." Christian frowned, Elliot was always calmer and cooler. He even knew to get the girl's number. "I'm sure you have my address already too."

She waited to hear his response. Christian thought fast. "How about Friday night?" That would give him a chance to talk to Flynn and sort this shit out. It was all overwhelming.

"Great, we'll see Friday around 6:00. It can be like a celebration dinner. Kate will be done with the article and we have our final exam that morning. We graduate on Saturday." Christian smiled and agreed with it all. Ana couldn't believe what she was about to say, but he was bold and he was bringing her out of her shell, "Goodnight Christian Grey. Dream of me."

Christian said goodnight and hung up. He looked down at his swollen length in his pants, "Holy fucking shit, I'm in love."

He took his shower and when the glass fogged up he saw a smiley face that Ana must have drawn when she was in there earlier. He smiled thinking of her. He couldn't believe it. He loved her and didn't even know her.

When he fell in bed to dream of her, it started out that way. He had Ana in his bed, kissing her as she covered herself with his silky sheets. He heard her giggle that he loved so much. Too bad it didn't last, his dreams quickly turned to nightmares. Just as he was about to lay a soft kiss on her lips, she screamed and he saw her in his red room strapped across the spanking bench. He jolted up drenched in sweat.

He walked out on his balcony and let the cool night air hit his wet skin. He thought he couldn't do this, he couldn't be in love, he couldn't hurt her, but that's all he knew. He decided not to give up yet, but if Flynn couldn't help by Thursday, what was the point of dinner.