Chapter 6

But slowly, Merlin could see Arthur growing more and more comfortable with magic. Especially when Iseldir showed him how magic could be used to aid failing crops. Then when the little girl had scraped her knee and Iseldir healed it with a few words and a smile, Arthur seemed pleased.

After three weeks of Iseldir's guidance, showing how magic could be used for good, and Geoffrey's digging into pre-Purge Camelot and Arthur finding out that Uther had lied about the troubles they'd had with sorcery and how Camelot had flourished then, Arthur grew silent or techy when asked about anything. He stopped asking about Emrys, too, which made Merlin suspicious.

He refused to let Merlin into his chambers, instead used insane amounts of parchment, and finally, on the day he would normally hear petitioners, Arthur signalled for Geoffrey to read out his decision on magic.

Merlin didn't understand it at first, the words seemed a muddle of joy and worry and indecision. Arthur was allowing magic to be practiced in Camelot once more. Merlin lost track after that, how some things would remain illegal, a long list mostly of crimes that didn't even touch on magic, but that magic would not be the sole reason for judgment. Then there was some nonsense about a council and looking for a sorcerer to head it and Merlin couldn't take any more.

Sinking back into the shadows, then into a deep alcove where no one could find him, he started to cry. It was relief and terror and a million other things that didn't make sense. Mourning those who had died because of it all, grieving for what he'd lost and what he would have to deal with in the future.

Around and around in his head was what to do about Arthur and Emrys and duty. And underneath, the worry about whether this would change destiny or would Arthur still die at Mordred's hands.

He wasn't sure who was hugging him, but it felt good to be held. Strong arms, fine cloth, red, and then he realised that Arthur was hugging him, Arthur the man who never hugged. Especially not him.

For Arthur's sake, Merlin knew he had to rein in his grief, pretend that it didn't matter and be there for Arthur. After all, he was sure Arthur would be inundated with objections and Merlin's sorrow was such a little thing compared with the enormity of what had just happened.

"I would say that you're not going to cry on me but it's a little late for that," Arthur said, giving Merlin a sharper hug, then letting go. "I thought you wanted me to legalize magic. You argued for it enough at that spring of the Disir's."

"I do want it. I want it so much and I thought… I thought you'd never… never do it. I thought I'd have to—" Merlin wiped away at his face. Even now, he couldn't say it.

"Hide?" Arthur said.

"No, of course not. I'm an open book, remember?" Merlin said, giving Arthur a wet smile.

Arthur scowled at that, shaking one finger in front of Merlin's face and not quite yelling at him. "Merlin, you are an idiot, and you think I am, too."

"No, more like a cabbagehead," Merlin snapped, backing away slightly. The finger wag of Arthur's was never a good sign. It often led to a boatload of chores or sometimes, although not for a while now, the stocks.

Letting out a long, put-upon sigh, Arthur lifted his chin, staring, glaring at Merlin. He looked ready for battle or else annoying the hell out of Merlin.

With an almost introspective tone, something Merlin hadn't expected considering how he'd been treated the last several days, Arthur said, "It took me a while, you know. To fathom you out. You were always there when we escaped under impossible odds, branches breaking under bandits and tree branches aren't that weak."

Oh, bloody hell, Arthur wasn't saying what Merlin thought he was, was he? His worry skyrocketed and he panicked, began looking around to see if there was a way to escape, just in case. Barely able to breathe, staring at the man for whom he'd given so much, all he could do was shiver and wait for the axe.

Arthur must have noticed Merlin's panic because he moved a little, blocking the only way out. But he kept talking, making things clear just how much he knew.

"And Iseldir watching you as he described the enigmatic Emrys. Wise and idiotic, clumsy and graceful, intelligent—although I have to quibble with Iseldir on that one. Always looking out for me, he said. Offering his life for mine, he said. Sounds like a certain buffoon of a manservant that I know."

"You knew?" Merlin was horrified. But at least, Arthur hadn't pulled out his sword, and he had just declared magic as legal. That had to count for something, right?

"A few days ago, when I stopped letting you into my room." Arthur shook his head, rolling his eyes a little as if bewildered that Merlin could be that stupid. "You really should close the door when using magic to do your chores. Really, Merlin, chores? You use your magic for chores?"

"I use it to save your life, too, you know," Merlin said, uncertain about what to do next or how to react. Now that it was out in the open, instead of being thrilled, Merlin was wary of what to do or say. It was all so confusing. He'd expected to die if Arthur ever found out, and here Arthur was, talking as if it were nothing.

"I'm sure you do, considering what a complete idiot you are." Arthur glared at him, then, his voice hardening. "Don't get me wrong. I was furious. Still am a bit. And we are going to have a long talk about lying and what you've been doing behind my back all this time. In detail." He must have seen how upset Merlin was because he relented, "You aren't going to cry on me again, are you? I'll have you know that snot is hard to get out and this is my favourite shirt."

Merlin let out an ugly laugh, half worried yet recognizing that talking about shirts and snot was just too ridiculous under the circumstances.

Finally, Merlin said, "I wanted to tell you for so long, but I was… afraid. Of what you'd do."

"Yeah, for a few days, I was afraid of what I'd do, too," Arthur admitted, looking down at his feet for a moment before turning back to Merlin. "Now, get cleaned up. Put on a new shirt and wipe your blotchy face. You look like a bone-idle toad or maybe that rumpled apron of Cook's." He stepped aside, then grabbed onto Merlin's shirt and pulled him toward the stairs to Merlin's room as he said, "You are going to help me organise a council of magic. Iseldir will have lots of suggestions, I'm sure. Then we are going to announce it and you will get a new outfit as befits your station."

Merlin's head was spinning. He still couldn't get his footing and stumbled as he said, "No hats, not even pointy ones."

"Good God, Merlin, you really are that clumsy." Arthur shook his head and gave another sharp sigh. "Fine, I'll give the hat I've ordered to Gwaine. I'm sure he'll find a use for it."

As they climbed the stairs, Merlin still trying to catch up with everything that was going on, Arthur was full of orders. "Then you will liaise with Iseldir on protocols and problems, and you will never ever lie to me again. Do you understand?" Arthur's voice hardened, wagging that finger at Merlin again. "Because I am still mad at you, you idiot."

But there was affection, too, and Merlin began to breathe again. Giving Arthur a little smile, Merlin whispered, "Arthur, thank you."

"Don't thank me. I've a list of chores a mile wide, now that I know you use magic to finish them. And this time, do them by hand or I swear the stocks will be in use for quite a while." Arthur reached over, giving Merlin's arm a little punch, then stomped back down the stairs, muttering about idiots.