Revenge is a dish best served cold. That's how the old saying went. It meant that revenge is better when it happens later, rather than now, at least that's why Rusty had heard. He had never given it much thought, but then he found out the truth. Revenge, like everything else (except for ice cream) is best served piping hot. Several months ago, he, Clyde, and Lincoln sneaked into the Rumpus Room, a local strip joint off the highway. He and Clyde were discovered while Lincoln miraculously got away. The bouncers beat them to within an inch of their lives and tossed them into a dumpster to die. Lincoln, to his credit, found them and called the rescue squad. Their bones were broken, their teeth were shattered, and their eyes were both inky red from burst blood vessels, but they were alive.
While they were in traction, their bodies coated in plaster and their minds still hazed from drugs, Lincoln came to them with a wild story of how Carol gave him a lap dance that night. Rusty and Clyde didn't believe him, of course. The way he told it was so smug and arrogant that he had to be lying. Then again, Lincoln was always smug and arrogant. Sometimes, Rusty really couldn't stand that guy. Everyone worshiped the ground he walked on and gave him free pass after free pass. It was like…it was like life was a fanfiction and Lincoln was God's Mary-Sue. Even so, Rusty refused to believe that a whole grown woman would not only be attracted to this goofy-looking little eleven year old boy, but would willingly give him lap dances.
Of course, when Rusty and Clyde expressed their disbelief, Lincoln was so offended, so enraged that they didn't instantly believe his crazy story, that he live-streamed Carol giving him a lap dance and then shut them out of his life. Rusty tried calling him and hitting him up on Instagram, but he ignored him. When he did respond, it was to say that he was busy with "stuff" and didn't have much time to talk. Rusty couldn't understand what his fucking problem was, but if he had one, fine, so did Rusty. And Clyde. Lincoln made a few half-hearted attempts to reach out to them after that, but it was too little, too late.
Rusty could have forgiven him since he hadn't done anything worse than proving that Carol was, in fact, giving him lap dances, but Rusty had always resented Lincoln. Lincoln skated through life and everyone acted like he was something special. Lincoln this, Lincoln that, LincolnLincolnLincoln. He was sick and tired of it a long time ago, and maybe, just maybe, he was looking for an excuse to be salty. Then again, maybe Lincoln deserved a little salt in his semi-charmed kinda life.
Especially since Lincoln told all their mutual friends that Clyde and Rusty were persona non grata. Liam, Stella, and all the others got some bullshit story about how Clyde and Rusty were the worst human beings to ever live for daring to question the Great White Hair. Instead of asking Clyde and Rusty their side, or staying neutral, or anything else, they took Lincoln's word as gospel and cut Clyde and Rusty out of their lives. Lincoln's inner circle shunned and banioshed them and now they were alone in the world, cut off and isolated because Lincoln was a sensitive little bitch who couldn't get over being questioned one fucking time time.
Rusty hated that son of a bitch.
"We need to get back at him," Rusty said one day. He and Clyde were sitting alone at a table in the cafeteria, their trays forgotten in front of them. Across the room, Lincoln sat with Liam, Zach, and Stella. They giggled at something (probably Rusty and Clyde), and Clyde mocked their laughter. Hehehehehehe.
"How so?" Clyde asked.
Rusty explained his vague, hate-fuelled plan. They would expose Lincoln and Carol's relationship. It would cause a huge scandal, ruin Lincoln's pristine reputation, and send Carol's pedo ass to jail. LOL.
"There's just one problem," Clyde said. "We deleted the livestream."
Damn, he was right. They were so upset, so shook, that they deleted the video, so the only proof they had of Lincoln and Carol's affair was gone. "Maybe we can tail them and take incriminating pictures," Clyde offered.
Rusty stroked his chin, then shook his head. "Nah, that won't work." He gazed vacantly at the table where Lincoln and the others reveled in fellowship and brotherhood. Well, Stella was involved, so whatever the gender-neutral version of brotherhood is, just swap that in instead. Part of Rusty hated them and everything they stood for, but another part was deeply hurt and jealous. He was tired of being isolated and cut off. He wanted to be special, privileged, and popular like Lincoln. He wanted what Lincoln had just as much as he wanted to see Lincoln lose what he had.
An idea came to him, and he perked up. "I know," he said.
"What?" Clyde asked.
Rusty leaned over the table and lowered his voice. "We blackmail him."
"Blackmail?' Clyde asked, tasting the word. From the sour expression on his face, he couldn't tell if he liked the flavor or not.
"Yeah," Rusty said, "blackmail. We can threaten to put him and Carol on blast if he doesn't do what we tell him to."
Now it was Clyde's turn to stroke his chin. His mind worked, coming up with a thousand different things he might want from Lincoln. Lincoln's comic book collection was the envy of every nerd in a ten mile radius, and he had more great video games than a freaking GameStop. In fact, Lincoln's dad had an old SNES and N64 (with games for both) packed away in the attic. Both still worked and Clyde had always wanted them. If he and Rusty blackmailed Lincoln, he could have those consoles. And all the games that went with them.
And anything else his heart desired.
A big grin spread across his face, and Rusty let out a nasty laugh. "Right? Good idea, huh?"
Honestly, Rusty would rather expose Lincoln and Carol's naughtytimes and ruin their fucking lives, but for now, this would have to do.
After lunch, Rusty and Clyde met on the playground and put their heads together to finalize their evil plot. Clyde wrang his hands and Rusty let out a devilish muhahaha. This was going to be so good, he could hardly wait. They drew up a list of demands that they would present to Lincoln.
They did it during gym class. After making them run laps, do jumping jacks, and climb the dreaded Rope to Nowhere, Mrs. Mann, the gym teacher, let the class have free time for the last twenty minutes of the period. Lincoln stood by the wall with Liam, Zach, and Stella. Rusty and Clyde went over, and Rusty did the talking. He sniffed, shoved his hands into the pockets of his gym shorts, and leaned in. "Hey…c'mere. I gotta talk to you."
Lincoln looked at him like he had two heads. It had been weeks, maybe even months, since Rusty had talked to him.
Curious, Lincoln excused himself from his group and walked over. When they were out of earshot, Rusty said, "We got a deal for you."
"What's that?" Lincoln asked, a touch of defiance creeping into his voice.
Rusty and Clyde exchanged a nasty grin. "You do what we say and we won't tell everyone about you and Carol."
That made Lincoln laugh. "Who's gonna believe you two? I told everyone what pieces of shit you are. Nothing you can possibly say matters."
"It doesn't matter what we say," Rusty said. "We have video proof. Remember, dumbass? You wanted to show off so bad that you sent us all the ammo we need."
The color drained from Dumbass's face, and it was clear that he did, in fact, remember. "You wouldn't," he said.
"We would," Rusty said. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "Of course, we don't want to. It would ruin your life and Carol's too. Especially Carol. She'll probably wind up going to prison. You don't want that, do you?"
Lincoln's mind worked and Rusty was reminded of a cornered animal trying desperately to escape from a trap that even it, in its tiny little brain, knew was insurmountable. Rusty was greatly satisfied by the abject fear in White Hair's eyes, and his evil smile sharpened. "No," Lincoln finally said with a dejected sigh. "I don't." He hung his head and took a deep breath. "What do you want?"
"Funny you should ask," Rusty said and nudged Clyde in the ribs. Clyde smiled and rubbed his hands crisply together. Rusty reached into his pocket and took out a sheet of paper. "Here are our demands."
Without raising his head, Lincoln took the paper and unfolded it. Rusty and Clyde shared a celebratory fist-bump. Lincoln read the list of demandments, and though Rusty couldn't see his face, he could sense Lincoln's defeat increasing. Show me your bitch face so I can remember that expression. "You better get to steppin' or you're fucked," Rusty.
"Okay," Lincoln mumbled. He turned around and dragged himself back to his waiting friends, who all watched him with looks of concern. Oh, poor Lincoln, what did big, bad, evil Rusty do to you? As if reading his mind, Stella shot him a dirty look, and he flipped her off.
Rusty and Clyde laughed and walked off.
Man, this was going to be good.
"What's wrong?" Stella asked, more than a hint of worry in her voice.
Lincoln drew a deep breath and held up the paper. She took it and Liam and Zach pressed in to read over her shoulders. Stella's brow furrowed in confusion. "'Lap dances from Carol tonight at eight,'" she read. "And then a series of coordinates. What is this?"
"Blackmail," Lincoln said.
He explained what had happened, and Stella's hand fluttered to her mouth. Zach and Liam both gaped in shock; they knew Clyde and Rusty were slimeballs, but this took the cake.
"What do we do?" Stella asked.
Two weeks ago, Lincoln realized that he had been neglecting his friends, so he arranged for Lori and Carol to give Zach and Liam lap dances while he personally, ahem, took care of Stella. Things wound up getting hot and heavy and they had sex. Carol and Lori had given subsequent dances to Liam and Zach because they enjoyed doing their routine for fresh eyes, and Lincoln and Stella had been together on more than one occasion. They hadn't had full blown sex again, but they gave each other oral all the time. He liked holding her upside down so that he could squirm his tongue in her hot depths while she simultaneously sucked his length. This blackmail shit - and what would happen if things went sideways - affected the three of them just as much as it did Lincoln.
"I don't know," Lincoln said. He chewed his lower lip. "We should probably talk to Carol and Lori. They'll be able to figure it out."
"Good idea," Liam said.
Zach nodded. "Yeah, let's do that." His voice was panicky at the prospect of the awesome lap dances he'd been getting lately coming to an end.
Nodding, Stella said, "That's the best course of action."
They all went to Lincoln's house after school. Lincoln texted both Lori and Carol and asked them to meet him there. They were both already sitting on Lori's bed when they got there. "So," Carol said, "you're finally asking for an orgy."
Lincoln flinched. "No, actually, this is serious."
Was it just him, or did Carol look disappointed?
Lincoln told her everything, and Carol's expression of disquiet - but not outright fear - opened a gaping pit in Lincoln's stomach, Lori scratched the back of her head and fidgeted a lot, which was a sign that she was extremely anxious.
They all sat on the bed in a rough circle and tried to suss out what to do. In less than four hours, Carol would have to deliver the goods or things would get really hairy for the Harem. They wracked their brains but they were all frazzled by stress and outrage. Finally, however, Lori brightened. "I know," she said.
"What?" Lincoln asked.
"I'll go to Clyde," she said, "an hour before Carol's supposed to meet Rusty. I'll work my magic on him and get him to tell me where the tape is." Lori grinned slyly. "You know what kind of crush he has on me. There's no way he'd turn down the promise of getting a blowjob from Lori Loud." The corners of her mouth turned down in disgust. "I hope I don't have to go that far…but I will if I have to."
Carol shook her head. "You won't. All you gotta do is touch him through his pants and he'll tell you everything he knows. Trust me, I've seen his type before."
"What next?" Stella asked.
"Carol will have to go through with dancing for Rusty," Lincoln said, his lips puckering bitterly. He didn't like the idea of Carol dancing for that ginger bastard, but it had to be done. All part of the plan, more or less, as the cartoon panda says. He needed to keep Rusty distracted while Lori smothered Clyde in her charms. Of the two, Rusty was more cunning and street smart. There was a good chance that he would realize what was going on. Clyde wouldn't. Like Carol said, he would be easy to manipulate. Rusty, on the other hand, might be a little harder to "play."
It made Lincoln mad to think that Carol would have to do that, but what was the alternative? Going to prison?
A ball of hot anger tightened his chest and he bit down on his lower lip. He hated that they had to choose in the first place. Prison or giving Rusty a lap dance. Bullshit. Lincoln should have punched the weirdo in his freaking face.
He forced himself to take a deep, calming breath. There are things in life that you just have to accept, even if they're unfair, even if they piss you off.
Phase one of Operation Find Out Where That Tape is And Then Delete It started with a text. Lincoln hit Clyde up and told him that Carol would be coming by early for a "private dance." When she was done, she'd go see Rusty. That wasn't true, of course, at least not the first part. Carol would be seeing Rusty, but not Clyde.
Cool, Clyde responded.
"Alright," Lincoln said and dropped the phone on the bed in front of him, "it's all set up. I told him Carol would be there at seven, so you should get there about 6;30, Lori."
She nodded.
"Find out where that tape is, even if you have to…you know."
His face flushed with a mixture of anger and embarrassment. He did not like sharing his girls with someone else. Well…with someone who was a complete scumbag, that was. He didn't mind sharing with Zach and Liam because they were both good dudes. Clyde and Rusty were not good dudes. They were the complete opposite of good dudes. They were assholes and they deserved every bad thing that ever happened to them, including being beaten down at The Rumpus Room.
At 6;10pm, Lincoln and the Harem's plan went into action. Lori left to see Clyde, and Carol began to prepare for her (very reluctant) date with Rusty. Since time was short, she got ready at the Loud house instead of going home to do it. She showered, brushed her teeth, and then brushed her hair. Lincoln sat on the closed toilet lid with his shoulders slumped, and they talked. "I'm sorry," he said. "I feel so…"
He trailed off, not wanting to admit how helpless and vulnerable all of this made him feel.
Carol stopped what she was doing and stroked her hand through his hair. "Don't. You're doing this for me…and I'm doing it for you. That's what lovers do/" She smiled and placed a tender kiss on his forehead.
Across town, Lori walked through the gathering gloom to Clyde's house. The evening was warm and breezy and the sound of children's laughter drifted through the twilight. When she reached Clyde's neighborhood, she crossed to the opposite side of the street and walked past. She didn't see Mr. and Mr. McBride's car in the driveway.
Excellent.
She went up the walkway and rang the doorbell. Clyde answered, and when he saw her, he missed a beat. "Uh…hey, L-Lori, w-what's up?"
"I was just in the neighborhood and figured I'd stop by," Lori said casually. "Can I come in?"
Lori…wanted to come in?
YES!
Clyde stepped to the side and Lori entered in a swish of sweet smelling air. He was surprised that she had just randomly showed up…but thrilled too.
Lori guided him to his room and shut the door. Clyde's heart raced and his dick was hard. "I know you and Rusty are blackmailing Carol," she said.
He looked uncomfortable.
"I know it was probably Rusty's idea, he's a creep." Lori got down on her knees and laid her hand on his leg. "You're not, though. You're a nice guy, Clyde, and if you tell me where that tape is, I'll make you the happiest boy on earth."
To punctuate her point, sne ghosted her hand over his crotch, making him stiffen.
He quickly recovered, however. "Look, I'm sorry, but -"
At the mention of that hateful word - but - Lori knew it was time to bring out the big guns.
So she kissed him. She pried his lips open with her tongue and cupped his face in her hands.
Elsewhere, Lincoln and Carol followed the GPS on Carol's phone to the coordinates Rusty had given them. It turned out to be an abandoned warehouse perched on a grassy hill overlooking the narrow concourse of the Royal River. Shadows nested in gaping windows and birds roosted in the smokestacks. Inside, the fading light fell through empty windows and dust coated the rubble strewn floor. Rusty came out of the shadows and crinkled his face in confusion. "I didn't expect you so soon," he said. "Clyde said you were going to his place first."
Lincoln stepped forward. "Yeah, that wasn't true. I told Clyde that to get him out of the way." He took a deep breath and looked at Carol. "Carol likes you…a lot…and she only wants to dance for you. Not him."
A big, smug smile slithered across Rusty's chapped lips. "I knew it. I am H-O-T." He licked his finger, pressed it to his chest, and made a hissing sound. "Who could resist?"
"Not me," Carol said.
Rusty led them to a room with a yawning hole in the ceiling. It was full dark now and moonlight spilled through the opening. Looking up, you could see the stars scattered across the heavens and the occasional blinking of a passing plane or a satellite.
Grabbing a chair, Rusty dragged it over, sat it in the middle of the room, and sat down to wait for his lap dance. "I want you to watch this, White Hair," Rusty said. "I want you to see how it feels to be cucked."
Lincoln could do nothing but step back and watch, powerless, as Carol approached Rusty, hips swishing back and forth. Hopefully Lori would text him with the intel they needed before Carol had to do much of anything with that clown-looking funk-ass. On the walk over, Lincoln had said as much but Carol simpl waved off his concerns. She believed wholeheartedly that her best friend would come through for her. Lincoln wasn't so sure. Lori totally would if it was in her power, but that was the question: Would it be in her power? Lincoln would catch the moon for Carol (and Lori) if he could, but alas, his arms were too short. Would Lori be able to catch the intel they needed, or would her arms, too, come up lacking?
He honestly didn't want to think about it. That she had to do anything for Rusty filled him with revulsion, much less going all out the way she did only for Lincoln and his inner circle. Lincoln was a liberal guy when it came to women - Carol was her own woman and could do as she pleased - but Carol and Lori both were precious gems, and here was that bastard Rusty Spokes defiling them. He should never put his hands on either one of them. Or Stella.
Carol shot Lincoln an apologetic look over her shoulder. I don't want to do this.
I know.
Putting some music on her phone, Carol sat it aside and then stripped out of her clothes, revealing a black leotard beneath. She began her seductive waltz, and Lincoln fumed with lust and jealousy as he watched her writhe and sway. She hooked her legs over Rusty and grinded herself on his lap, her head thrown back and her eyes closed, not in the extacsy she felt when dancing for Lincoln, but so that she wouldn't have to look at Rusty's pimply, fucked up face.
Rusty ran his hands up and down Carol's flanks and squeezed her breasts, a look of rapture on his face. Lincoln seethed but could not look away. Did he have a cucking fetish? Because despite his anger, he was extremely aroused.
Of course anything pertaining to Carol aroused him.
Getting to her feet, Carol dragged Rusty out of the chair and laid him on the floor. Lincoln's heart dropped to his feet.
He knew what came next.
Her best move.
Across town, Lori attacked Clyde with a flurry of kisses - his lips, his face, his neck. She nibbled his earlobe and raked her fingernails over his scalp. He sucked great gulps of breath and blushed furiously…but he wasn't talking. Much to her surprise. The Clyde she knew would have sprang a nose bleed just being in the same room with her, but this Clyde was holding it down. She had to admit: She was impressed.
She was going to have to up the ante if she wanted Clyde to talk.
Pushing him back onto the bed, she straddled him and slowly, teasingly, took her shirt off in a spill of blonde hair. Her full breasts fell free and Clyde gaped up at them with wide eyes. She planted her hands on either side of him and leaned in, dangling her tits above his face like a carrot. He went for them and she pulled away. "Uh-uh," she said. "If you want them, you have to tell me where that footage is."
Meanwhile, back at the warehouse, Rusty was sprawled on the floor with his arms and legs out in a rough X. Carol lowered herself onto his lap, laid her hands on his chest, and began to lightly rub herself back and forth over his boner. Lincoln stood there in misery, watching as Rusty writhed and moaned in pleasure. That Rusty was getting what Lincoln himself so loved and craved was bad enough but then there was Carol.
At first she was stiff and uncomfortable, but now, she didn't seem to mind it. In fact…was she enjoying it?
Even so, the way she moved and undulated commanded his attention…and his arousal.
Eventually, Carol swung her leg over Rusty's lap and got to her feet. She stood over him, shot him a sexy smile, and began to lower herself onto his face in a squat.
No, Lincoln thought, please. Not the 7-10 split.
But she did. She pressed her butt to Rusty's face and threw her legs out on either side of him. She twerked and shook her butt all over Rusty's face, looking like she was really into it. Lincoln's heart broke and the pieces turned to ice in his guts.
"You don't even have it?" Lori asked.
Clyde had told her what she wanted to know, but it wasn't what she expected to hear. He said they had deleted the footage long ago and that the blackmail scheme was just a bluff. At first, she thought that maybe he was lying, but looking into his hazy, love-drunk eyes, she got the feeling that he wasn't even capable of lying right now.
He was telling her the truth.
The footage was gone.
Carol was safe.
So was Lincoln.
Lori Loud was a woman of her word. She said that she would give Clyde something if he gave her the information she needed. He did, so she would keep her promise. She leaned in and smothered his face beneath her large breasts.
Elsewhere, Carol, still in her famous 7-1o split position, leaned over and massaged Rusty's inner thighs, her ass still jiggling against his face. She tossed her hair out of her face, leaned in, and kissed his boner through his jeans. Lincoln watched, silently hating Rusty and wanting Carol. When Carol unbuttoned Rusty's jeans, Lincoln let out a pitiful moan but couldn't force himself to look away. Carol lightly pinched Rusty's shockingly sizable boner through his underwear and Rusty squirmed.
Just then, Lincoln's phone buzzed in his pocket. His heart soared as he took it out. It was Lori, had to be.
It was.
They deleted it. They don't even have it. Said the text.
Lincoln's eyes narrowed.
A bluff.
It was all a bluff.
Rusty was dirtier than Lincoln thought.
Unfortunately, Lincoln knew that Carol would have to finish to ensure a clean getaway. If Rusty got what he wanted, he would probably keep quiet. If not, he might try and cause more trouble.
Hating himself and everything else, Lincoln watched Carol continue teasing Rusty's cock through his boxers. She wrapped her fingers around it and began to jack him off, her butt lifting and lowering in time. Her butt bounced up and down on Rusty's face and Lincoln watched, nearly hypnotized. Rusty cried out and filled his undies with cum, making Lincoln crazy with jealousy. Carol smiled over her shoulder at a job well done. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," she said.
Rusty let out a drunken moan. He twitched and shook in the afterglow of his orgasm, and Lincolm imagined he could smell the wild scent of Rusty's sperm on the air. He gagged, retched, and almost puked. He couldn't be any more miserable than he was right now. Nothing could be worse than watching the girl he loved pleasure another man. Nothing. Not even getting beaten up by a dozen pro wrestlers.
"I hope you really, really enjoyed it," Carol said, "because this is your first and last dance from me."
He was lost in a haze and made no sign that he had heard her, or could do or say anything if he did.
Carol caught her breath and looked at her phone to find a text from Lori saying she was here to pick them up. She started to get up, but stopped. She had to make sure she and Lincoln were safe first. She rifled through his pockets, found his phone, and took it out. She used his limp hand to unlock the Touch ID and scrolled through his pics and messages, finding nothing that could incriminate her.
Getting up, she looked down at a punch drunk Rusty with a sneer of distaste, then walked over to Lincoln, who was the dictionary definition of dejected. She smiled and kissed him. "We're done here. Let's go."
Lincoln offered her a weak smile.
She gathered her clothes and they went outside, where Lori was parked in Vanzilla, waiting. Carol and Lincoln got into the back and Lori pulled off. "How was it?" Lori asked.
"Eh," Carol said. She turned to Lincoln and darted her eyes to her lap. "I'm really sorry about this, I didn't want to dfo it."
"You looked like you were enjoying it," Lincoln said.
She smiled. "Of course I did. I was thinking of you the whole time."
He searched her eyes for traces of deceit but saw none.
She was telling the truth.
Relief washed over Lincoln and he relaxed. Thank God, he was afraid she had started to dig Rusty over him. LOL weird fear to have but he had it nevertheless. He should never have doubted her. She only did what she had to. Basically what he asked of her.
"It was hard to think of him as you since he's not nearly as cute as you." She pinched his cheek and they both giggled like kids.
"Well…that is true," he said. "Rusty's not me."
"No, he isn't," Carol said. "He's a slimeball and if I'd thought of him while doing it, I would have gone dry as a desert." She looked at Lori. "How was your day with Clyde?"
Lori shrugged. "I didn't have to do much, but I did have to do more than I thought I would. He's a lot tougher than I gave him credit for." She was quiet for a long moment. "I feel kind of bad for him. He's not a bad guy, it's Rusty. Rusty's the asshole."
"Yeah, fuck him," Lincoln said.
"Fuck Rusty," Carol chimed in.
They began to chant like a rowdy football team on its way to a big game.
"Fuck Rusty! Fuck Rusty! Fuck Rusty!"
"That's as close as he'll ever get to having a woman," Lincoln said.
"He'll die a virgin," Lori laughed.
"Yeah, he's a baby dick," Lincoln said. "Screw him. I might forgive Clyde, though. He's really gullible and easily led. Then again, that makes him a pretty shitty friend." Lincoln gazed out the window at the passing lights of downtown. "I don't know," he finally said, "I'll think about it."
Day saved, they drove off into the night, secure in the knowledge that their happy little harem would live to fight another day.