Finding A Way Home
September 2002
People plan,
God laughs.
Emily held up the positive pregnancy test.
It didn't feel real.
It had been a week since the first positive test, three days since her doctor confirmed it.
Not again. She chuckled.
'God must be laughing his head off.' She thought.
This time she was older. This time she can do it. This time, she wanted it.
But it wasn't that different from the first time.
"How far along are you?" He asks.
"4 weeks." The brunette answers. "I get to hear the heartbeat at the next appointment." She adds. As if he would come along.
"Emily." He let out a sigh. "I'm married." He whispered.
"I know." She admitted.
This is what I get for sleeping with a married man.
She heard another voice coming from the line. This isn't the first time she called him. She's familiar with the voice in the background. There was always a feeling of guilt whenever she heard his wife's voice, but today was different. The feeling of guilt has turned into agonizing pain. She's suffocating from the mistake she's created.
"Honey, who are you talking to?" His wife calls out. You can even hear his kids in the background.
"It's Emily." He admitted. "She has a question about a case." He lies.
"Oh," She reacted. "Don't forget to ask her if she wants to come this weekend to Ryder's game."
"Honey, I think she's busy this weekend." He lies.
What's one more lie, right?
She's only drowning in them.
"Well, you could still ask. I don't want her to miss her godson's championship game." Paige yells out. Emily lets out a sigh. It's that bad.
"Okay, honey." He yells back. She can hear him put the phone down and follow her college best friend to another room. "I love you." He whispers.
It's not for her.
He isn't talking to her.
This is what I get for sleeping with the man married to my best friend.
"Emily, I'm sorry."
And the line goes dead.
She scans her Chicago apartment. She just got settled in. She spent all her weekend filling up the empty picture frames. She wanted this to feel like home. Being the Ambassador's daughter meant that she never stayed long enough to find a home. Although, that didn't mean that she ever stopped trying. She wasn't naïve. She knew that he was never going to leave his wife.
Owen Campbell was her old mentor at Yale. He was her professor. Cliché, yet expected from the once rebellious Emily Prentiss. She and her best friend, Paige, had been sleeping with their professor. Of course, Paige didn't know about the other girls the professor was sleeping with. Emily did though. He said it was because Emily 'understood him.' Whatever that meant. How she ended up sleeping with him again though is beyond her. Call it wishful thinking. He found her in a conference in St. Louis. She was already working for the Bureau. Though, she was chained to a desk in Missouri. She was a rookie with limited experience, or so they thought. Her history with Easter and Doyle was redacted from her paperwork…and her memories. It started as a one-time thing, but they both knew it wouldn't be. Maybe it's because he found her when she was bored out of her mind or maybe it's because she wanted to feel human again. So, she slept with him. She knew Owen was married. She was at the wedding for fuck's sake. She was even his eldest's godmother, but she still slept with him. That one-time thing turned into once a month. Then when a job opened in Chicago, he encouraged her to take it.
Now, she was carrying his baby.
This is what you get for not believing that good things happen.
She knew that the moment she told him that things between them were over.
Emily knew it was only a matter of time before things blew up in her face.
She was going to keep it. That wasn't a question. She knew that this time she wanted to be a mother; despite who the father is.
March 2003
The thing about secrets is that they don't last forever.
"Emily?" A familiar voice called out. The brunette prayed to God that it wasn't who she thought it was, but before she knew it, the woman she has been dreading to see for the past 6 months was in front of her. "You're pregnant." Paige Campbell points out. She was an expressive person. Emily could see the shock on her friend's face.
She had been successful in avoiding Owen and Paige. Chicago was a big city and Owen had made sure to help Emily look for a place across from their home. It was a precautionary measure that she had been grateful for her entire pregnancy.
"So are you," Emily replied. Her voice was low, and it almost seemed like a whisper. Of course, she's pregnant too. Emily laughed at the irony of this.
People plan,
God laughs.
"Yeah. Baby Number 3." The blonde woman pointed out. "How far along are you?" She asked innocently.
"29 weeks." The agent answered. "You?"
"21 weeks." Paige sheepishly replied. "The father?" She pried.
"Long gone," Emily admitted.
"I haven't heard from you since that phone call with Owen." Paige diverted.
"Yeah, well I have been busy." She responded. It wasn't a complete lie. Her team at the Chicago office has been nothing but kind to her throughout her pregnancy. They were not particularly close, but they were a team. They looked out for each other.
"I miss you Em," Paige admitted.
It was like a punch in the gut.
Emily wanted to scream.
I'm sorry.
"How are the kids?" She tried to avoid the topic.
"They're good. Ryder missed you at his game, and Olivia was disappointed when you didn't show up last Thanksgiving." Paige was glowing. The woman in front of her was made to be a mother.
"Yeah, well I have been busy," Emily repeated. "Speaking of busy," she glanced at her watch. "I have to get going." It wasn't a lie. She needed to go now if she wanted to make it to her doctor's appointment.
"Oh okay." The blonde woman smiled. She reached her hand out to Emily's hand. "You don't have to go through this alone you know."
Emily nodded and quickly exchanged goodbyes.
That night Emily found herself reaching for her phone to dial a familiar number.
"Hello, Mother."
Emily Prentiss never thought she'd ever be the one to reach out to her mother. She was a daddy's girl through and through. She was inseparable from her father growing up…or up until he left her mother.
"Why can't I go with you?" A fourteen-year-old Emily asked her father.
"Your mother needs you Em," He responded.
"But I need you." The young girl pleaded.
"I'll just be one plane ride away."
That was the last time she saw her father.
For years, Emily had blamed her mother for her father's decision.
She works too much.
She only cares about herself.
She won't notice if I'm gone.
However, she knew it wasn't true.
Theodore Prentiss had an inoperable tumor. He didn't have much time left when they had found it. The weekend that he found out; he took Emily to her favorite city, Paris. Elizabeth was stationed in Rome, so the quick spontaneous trip was forgivable in the eyes of his wife. He wanted to leave his daughter with good memories as opposed to seeing him fall apart. When he started to get weaker, he knew it was time to fly back to Boston. Massachusetts was his home. Theodore Prentiss was born and raised in Boston. It was his home. He never wanted to leave, or at least that was his plan.
People plan,
God laughs.
Now, Emily was standing at the arrival gate of O'Hare International Airport waiting for the flight from London to arrive.
"Hello, Mother."
"Emily" The ambassador replied. "I'm shocked that you called."
"I need you." The younger woman announced.
"Is something wrong?" Elizabeth asked.
"I'm pregnant."
She soon saw a tall brunette walk through the doors of the baggage claim. Her staff and security soon followed with what she assumed is her mother's belongings. "Thanks for coming."
"I'm sorry it took me so long to come." Elizabeth cupped her daughter's cheek. "Motherhood looks good on you."
The car ride to her mother's hotel was awkward. Emily thanked that she had decided to take a cab to O'Hare rather than drive. The ambassador had already made arrangements. The mother and daughter had talked about the weather and her job. Neither one had talked about her pregnancy or the father of her child. The younger Prentiss was grateful for her mother's silence. She didn't want to have this conversation in front of some agents.
The silence didn't last long.
As soon as they got to the Ambassador's suite, her mother started talking.
"What happened Emily?" There was no judgment in her mother's tone. A first for them both.
Emily had allowed herself to fully let her guard down. She sighed heavily. It was her tell after all. "I screwed up." She admitted.
"Who's the father?" Elizabeth asked.
"Owen" Emily answered. It felt good to finally admit it to someone else.
"Your old professor?" Elizabeth clarified. Emily nodded. "Okay."
The two had talked about her pregnancy. They talked about doctor's appointments and prenatal checkups. The federal agent had assured her mother that things were doing fine both for her and the baby.
"Do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?" Elizabeth asked.
Emily smiled. No one has asked her that before. Sure, her coworkers had asked but it was mainly for pleasantries rather than genuine curiosity.
"A girl."
Emily beamed. Elizabeth cracked a smile too. This was her vision for her only daughter. True that the circumstances were less than ideal, but she couldn't deny that she was excited for her granddaughter.
"Have you thought of a name?" The ambassador asked.
"Sophie Theodora Prentiss." The younger woman replied.
"What a beautiful name." Elizabeth talked about how her late husband would've loved that name. Emily explained that it was a nice tribute to her dad. Elizabeth asks if she has visited his grave in Massachusetts since she's moved back to the United States. Emily said that she visits him every year. Elizabeth admits that she hasn't been back since the funeral. 'It's too painful.' The older woman explains. Her daughter understands. They reminisce about Paris, Rome, and Japan. Elizabeth also talks about her latest post in Croatia, and how she wishes Emily would visit more. Emily explains that she is currently in the process of looking for a home. Both women agree that it wouldn't be in Chicago or Croatia.
"I have to be honest with you Emily. I was not expecting you to call." Elizabeth takes a sip of her tea.
The smile on Emily's face slowly fades away. This is the conversation she was dreading. "I wasn't planning on telling you," The younger woman admits. "Until she was born," She clarified. Elizabeth nodded.
It had something to do with pride.
After all the things she has been through, her abortion, her father's passing, everything she's done with JTF-12, her relationship with Ian Doyle, she was not expecting motherhood to be her downfall.
"I know that I haven't been there for you for the past 20 years" Elizabeth draws Emily out of her thoughts. "Maybe even longer." The older woman shyly admitted. "I know that I have no clue on what you have been through Emily. I won't even try to pretend that I know you. You have kept me so far from your life that you're practically a stranger in front of me." The typically composed well-spoken ambassador's voice cracked. "However, I do know that this" she motioned to her daughter's stomach, "is nothing like anything you've done before."
It was true.
This time, she wasn't in it for herself. She had more to lose now.
She used to think that death wouldn't be the worst thing. She used to think letting monsters like Doyle walk free was far worse than death.
But, she had more to lose now.
There was a beautiful little girl with ten fingers and ten toes that relied on her.
Missing out on this girl's life was now the worst thing that could happen.
"It doesn't make you weak Emily." The older woman went on. "Asking for my help does not make you weak or lesser than you used to be. It makes you stronger. You're looking out for your child." A tear ran down Emily's cheek. "You're already a better mother than I ever was."
"I want to give her a home," Emily admits. Her mother reached for her hands.
"Then we will make it happen."
Sophie arrived on May 24, 2003. A few days shy of her due date. Elizabeth despite being in Croatia found a way to be in Chicago for the last month of her daughter's pregnancy. Elizabeth had insisted that she request a transfer back to the United States to be with Emily, but the agent was stubborn. She didn't want her mother to give up her career, so they compromised. Thank God she did. The ambassador held her daughter's hand as she pushed. She watched as her strong and independent daughter held her grandchild for the first time.
People plan,
God laughs.
"Hi, Sophie." Emily beamed. Despite being in pain, she smiled ear to ear. She must've never been happier.
August 2003
Despite her mother's nagging, she went back to work 10 weeks after giving birth. Emily was lucky enough that her mother had helped in the first month. She wouldn't have been able to recover and take care of a baby at the same time. Sophie was an easy baby. She barely cried and learned how to latch on quickly. Much to her mother's dismay.
"Are you sure she's yours?" Her mother teased. "Why couldn't you be this good when you were younger?"
"I got that from you." Emily bit back.
Elizabeth was the one that insisted on a full-time nanny. Emily swore she would never get one, but she had no other choice. Her maternity leave was running out and her mother had moved across the ocean. Elizabeth suggested an old English woman. Emily vetoed. Emily suggested a young college graduate that lived next door. Her mother retaliated. They compromised with a Child Psychology Ph.D. candidate that only needed the nights off. Her schedule worked perfectly with Emily's desk job.
May 2006
That arrangement worked for about 3 years. The nanny, Kristine, was getting married and was planning to move out of state.
Elizabeth scuffed. "You should've gone with the nanny I suggested."
"Can we not talk about this now?" Emily glared. She pointed the kitchen lighter towards her mother to motion for the three pink candles beside the older woman. Elizabeth had handed to her and watched as her once gothic rebellious teenager lighted her granddaughter's birthday cake.
The party was chaotic. Sophie was enamored with pixies and fairies, so Emily had gone above and beyond to make her three-year-old happy. Emily had decorated her townhouse to be exactly what her daughter had envisioned. Every little girl had a pair of wings. The cupcakes had edible pixie dust. The cake had her favorite fairy as a topper. It was the 3-year old's dream.
Elizabeth had watched as her daughter sang Sophie 'Happy Birthday.' The young girl's daycare friends slowly started surrounding the birthday girl. Emily kissed Sophie's cheek as she told the youngest Prentiss to blow out her candles.
"Emily is a natural." The ambassador's assistant spoke.
"She is. Isn't she?" Elizabeth beamed with pride. Her daughter had grown up to be a fine lady and a terrific mother. "I think it's about time for us to stay in the United States."
August 2006
Emily initially had been upset at her mother's rash decision. It took a lot of convincing and time for Emily to understand that this decision was for Sophie and not for the lack of faith in Emily's abilities as a mother. The ambassador had also convinced Emily that it was time for her to leave Chicago.
"Maybe you can come work for me in D.C. or I can make some calls for you," Elizabeth suggested.
Emily shook her head. "I already asked around. There's an opening at Quantico under the Behavioral Analysis Unit."
Emily had decided to move in the summer. Just in time for Sophie to start pre-school in Virginia.
"I like it here Mama" Sophie smiled upon seeing their new house.
"You do?" Emily carried her 3-year-old. "I like it too." She buried her face in her daughter's curly brown hair. "What do you say, Soph? Should we get it?"
"Yeah!" The little girl said enthusiastically.
The job was already hers. Human Resources has already processed her transfer. She just needed to meet with Chief Strauss and the team. This is why she found herself rushing to the elevator at 9 am.
"Hey! Hold the elevator." Emily yelled out. A tall man in a suit held the doors for her. "Thanks." The woman muttered.
The doors closed. He pressed 4. She pressed 6.
"Agent Hotchner?" Emily asked. The agent looked up from his phone to meet the gaze of the woman in front of him. "I'm Agent Emily Prentiss." She introduced herself.
"You're Ambassador Prentiss' daughter?" He asked. She nodded. "I did security clearances for your mother's staff. It was one of my first commands. I believe you were off to Brown?"
"Actually, it was Yale." Emily corrected. "I've been in the Bureau almost 10 years now."
"Don't tell me it's been that long." He joked.
She laughed. "Apparently sir. I worked mostly in the Midwest; St. Louis and Chicago."
"That's good." He replied. "Is your mom well?"
"Yeah. She's great" The brunette answered.
"So, what brings you here?" Aaron asked. The doors opened to the 4th floor. The BAU unit chief held the doors a little longer.
"I'm here to see Chief Strauss," Emily answered.
"Well, good luck Emily." Aaron smiled as he stepped out of the elevator. He stood by the elevator to watch the doors close. "I hope to see you around." He offered her a kind smile and a wave.
People plan,
God laughs.
"Emily Prentiss." Hotch smiled. A name he hasn't thought of in years.
A/N: Hi! Let me know what you think by leaving a review! It is my first time writing a Criminal Minds fanfic, so please be kind