Chapter 4: Time Has Made Us Stronger
The next session after Jean dressed Diluc's wound finally came. It was a much-awaited reunion, the two could not deny the worry that followed after their last meeting. Jean wondered if he would ice her out and Diluc wondered how he should approach her after that.
Diluc was taking his time to go to the designated meeting place. He was uncertain if he should even meet Jean with how he treated her wounds. How his mind still wandered to her gentle touch.
He gently touched his wound over his shirt.
He should have taken a potion to completely heal it, yet here he was, the wound still there. A wound that could have been healed if he had taken a healing potion. He didn't even know why he didn't take the potion then and now and more importantly why he went to her last time with the injury being the way that it was.
He sighed aloud; his gaze casted down on the grass.
He had been trying so hard to keep his distance from her after– when was it? The first or maybe third training session?
He bit his lower lip, he couldn't deny it, the moment he touched her skin, he couldn't even pretend– he felt the sparks. He wondered if the electricity was from her skin and then it travelled to his skin, no, it was all in his head.
He had seriously contemplated whether he should have someone else train her instead of him, but allowing that would also be a risk.
I want to keep it a secret.
Those were the words she told him, of course he has to honor it.
But he had to put a lot of energy in maintaining distance and keeping Jean at arm's length– no, if possible, a mile away.
Diluc glanced up and froze on his tracks when he saw Jean in a skirt under the tree's shade. She was sitting on a blanket and had a picnic basket by her side.
He wanted to be angry, no he should be angry, they were supposed to train but there she was sitting under the tree a bit too leisurely than he'd like. But the truth is, he wasn't, no more rather, he couldn't be angry. The first step was heavy, but the second became significantly lighter. He felt like he was approaching her awfully too slowly.
Jean turned her head hearing footsteps approaching her and she saw it was the red-haired man and she smiled at him.
Diluc's fingers were shaking at the sight and he hid it by casually putting his fingers behind him as he glanced away. "Hello, Jean." He said coldly.
"Hello, Diluc." His heart thumped at her voice and he frowned.
"You must be wondering why I am in a skirt, looking like I am going to have a picnic." Jean gently spoke as she opened the basket. "Well, we are going to have a picnic. And before I have to hear your reproach, need I remind you that last time we met you were bleeding out? We are going to take it easy, and relax. It will be good for our mental health too. Physical training needs a sound mind too."
Diluc did want to rebuke her but he just sighed and sat down on the blanket with her, but he made a point to stay as far away from her as possible. "You're not wrong."
"I hope you had your wounds seen by a proper healer with the proper tools." Jean put down a plate before him and not seeing or hearing a response she glanced at him. "Let me see your waist, Sir."
Her tone was rather strict that he actually instantly lifted his shirt, not wanting to get scolded.
Jean sighed, "It is at least freshly dressed and not bleeding. I guess it was a good idea to have a picnic instead." Diluc frowned at her words. "Don't look so sullen, we have plenty of time to train, after all, the engagement hasn't been made formal, so we can take all the time we want." She chuckled then added, "Ideally, that is.", putting out food and it was looking like a feast.
"I suppose you didn't make these?" Diluc didn't think much of his words, he simply just wanted to do anything rather than stay in silence. In the very least it would leave him with more to do than stare at her beauty.
His company chuckled, "Actually, I made these all."
Diluc glanced at her, shocked to discover she could cook. "Sometimes, I like to cook and bring it out to have a picnic and enjoy a quiet day with dishes I patiently made."
"I didn't think a lady like yourself would–"
"Prefer such a pass time?" Jean cut in with a polite smile. "I am normally very busy, but changing the pace by doing things like this keeps me sane. Like I have said–"
"Physical training needs a sound mind too?" This time it was Diluc's turn to finish her sentence and she smiled at him warmly, though his tone was more mocking than anything.
"More or less." She giggled. "Why don't we enjoy this pleasant weather," She stole a glance at him, "And you seem like you could use the time to rest."
Diluc glanced around and looked displeased.
"I insist Diluc, proper rest will help you heal faster and of course a good meal." Jean pulled out a book and he raised a brow with a sly amused smile on his lips.
"The Thoughts of a Swordsman, and here I thought the fair lady was going to take a break." He teased her and she smiled at him, staring at him from under her long lashes.
"I might as well study in my free time." A gentle smile on her lips.
He chuckled, "That is not how free time works, dear." Jean visibly stiffened and she stole another glance at him and stiffened even more to see him looking at her. She lifted a hand as she looked back at her book and tucked her hair, revealing her pinkish ears.
Diluc bit his lip at the sight of the blushing maiden, his heart thumping. He closed his eyes and laid on the blanket. "Maybe, I will take up your offer."
"Then that is good, I suppose I will put the dishes back into the basket then. You can have some later." Once she finished saying her words Diluc suddenly opened his eyes and turned to his side, propping himself up as he faced her.
"Well, you did say you cooked this right?" He said and she stole a glance at him and nodded when their eyes met. "I might as well try my future wife's cooking, less she tries to poison me because I am such an awful husband."
Jean rolled her eyes at the mention of poison, "If that happens what would I gain?"
"My vast estate, isn't that what everyone has been vying for?" Diluc's tone sounded rather disgusted and Jean's gaze on him was rather knowing. "Everyone seemed to be very interested in the Ragnvindr income…"
"Well, if it is the current interest, I heard it is because of some rare cases of wine that you are planning to sell." He chuckled at Jean's reminder.
"Oh that? I have yet to decide if I really want to sell such rare cases." Jean raised a brow at him and he smiled slyly. "What can I say, they hold other potential value to me."
She chuckled, "Hearing you say that, makes me understand why you would keep an eye out for budding businesses. I am sure that if you decide to sell those wines, they would reap such pretty big pennies for you."
Diluc chuckled as he looked away, his hand reaching out for the roasted meat she had placed on the blanket. "You even sliced them up to be bite size." He nodded, taking a piece and ate it. He glanced at Jean, his eyes clearly showing his shock. "It's really good, quite soft."
She smiled at him, glancing back at her book.
"You can open up a store." He said sitting up and taking another piece. "Oh, I can imagine the kind of wine this would be paired up with." Then proceeded to test the other dishes she had prepared. Their prior conversation was forgotten in the midst of him tasting as much as he could.
"You are merely flattering me." Jean blushed slightly and tried to act cool with his compliments.
"Well, if you decide to open a restaurant, I am more than willing to fund such a business venture." He took a piece of desert and his brows raised when the jelly-like thing melted in his mouth. "You would be a good wife… given other circumstances." He cleared his throat.
Her blush deepened but she said nothing and he studied her for a little while. He sighed and laid back down again. Maybe in some other circumstance they wouldn't have met and she would be with someone else.
Diluc couldn't help but wonder what her true circumstance was, to make such a haphazard deal with him. He was after convenience and she seemed to be after the same thing, but it was also undeniable that she was more than capable of handling herself. So, if Jean was so hellbent on convenience and he had not taken notice of her, she still would have found what she wanted. Even if it wasn't with him.
A thought he didn't particularly like.
As he was slowly getting enveloped by his dreariness, he couldn't help but wonder: what kind of life would she have lived had she not met him that night. What it would have been like had she not chosen to run away, just to be able to learn the sword.
What an extreme thing to do.
He recognized that she would be a dangerous variable as she was someone who would put everything on something she wanted done. She would spare no expense. In that way they were both similar.
Diluc had awoken with a jolt like he was falling from a cliff. He instantly sat up and glared at the presence in front of him.
His heart skipped a beat at the sight before him.
Blonde hair that was faintly being blown by the wind, silver eyes that were focused on the book on her lap, her head tilted toward the book. The woman's legs were folded underneath her, inside her long black skirt, but he couldn't deny the ethereal image she exuded.
He noticed her head move ever so slightly and before she could fully stare back at him, his gaze was already on the empty blanket.
"Oh, it seemed like you had put the food away." He cleared his throat; he could feel that his ears had reddened. He hoped that she had not noticed it, hoping that his red hair would hide his evident blush.
Jean followed her gaze, "Ah, yes, I did." She reaffirmed what was clear to both of them.
"I shouldn't have fallen asleep; we need to train." He cleared his throat again, calming his beating heart and willing his reddened ears to stop blushing. At the rate that he was clearing his throat it is a wonder that Jean hasn't asked about his health.
"No, it is clear that you are tired, it appears as if you haven't been sleeping well for days now. And anyways, you are clearly still weak from the wound." She eyed where his wound was.
"Wait, was the food drugged?" His tone was cold and Jean chuckled.
"The food I made today is supposed to help you feel refreshed and heal better." Jean had a polite smile on her lips.
"In other words, you spiked it." He held back as much aggravation he had, but Jean merely retained the small smile she had on her lips. And surprisingly it didn't further anger him. "How long have I been asleep?" He properly sat up as he glanced at her book. It seemed she had read a lot of pages while he had slept.
"Hmm?" Jean looked up and studied their surroundings, "I think almost for two hours." Then her silver eyes gazed at Diluc, observing his reaction.
"We shouldn't be wasting time." He gulped, trying not to give her the kind of reaction she was expecting, at least he thought she expected him to be evidently upset. His tone might have given away his annoyance a little bit, but his expression was as cool as ice.
"No." Her tone was calm, her gaze returning to her book. "This is not a waste of time." She continued to read and he remained silent as he observed her, his heart was beating so loud that it worried him.
He breathed in heavily, she was right that he was tired and weak, but he saw the potential danger this situation would bring.
"You have to rest, just like everyone else." Jean quietly added and he couldn't help but feel warmth at her words. He really shouldn't be feeling this.
"Next session, we will train extra hard." He taunted her but her smile remained and she merely stole a glance at him.
"I expected as much, but you should be fully healed by then, or we will spend the day like this again." Her eyes showed him her determination. He knew from that gaze that she would indeed make him have another picnic if he isn't fully healed.
"Then, I will be in full health." He gritted, trying to shove the affection he was feeling for her far far away.
"That includes sleep, Diluc." His breath caught at her calling his name so gently. He clenched his first tightly and Jean seemed to have noticed it, he faintly saw the sadness in her eyes as she returned to reading her book.
"Don't misunderstand, I need you healthy, I can't have you passing out on me, how would I even bring you anywhere, you are heavier than you look." Her tone was harsh, but he couldn't help but smile when he noticed the soft blush on her face and the struggle she had to sound as rude as she could. Apparently, the eldest Gunnhildr doesn't know how to be indignant.
He found her adorable. But this thought of his is something he has to keep in his mind. Something no one else should know about.
And yet, the thought was evidently birthed and he tried his best to ignore it.
~.~.~.~.~
When their next session came, the training was indeed intense, but Diluc was always an intense teacher. He wasn't holding back his punches anymore like the start of their training. Jean was forced to put everything she had with every punch, even though it was clear that Diluc was still holding back to a lesser degree compared to their first training. Even he could tell that she thought that he was holding back. But he had to be in control of his narrative and this situation.
Jean was clearly exhausted because he wasn't giving her a breather, the sweat trickling down her face was not little at all. And then, she misstepped and was certain to fall on her face and break her ankle or wrist.
But she didn't fall.
Diluc had firmly grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards him and somehow, she turned a little and strongly hit his firm chest with her back as she panted. The impact caused an audible thud.
Her smell, even though she was sweaty, she still smelled of flowers. The muscles of his arms tensed.
"I-I am so sorry." Jean clearly was tired; it took a lot more than he'd like to admit to pull away.
"Are you hurt?" His tone was cold as she turned to look at him and she shook her head. "I think we should rest; you are clearly tired."
Jean gazed down on the green blades under his feet, hesitating, "I… yeah, you're right, I am exhausted."
Jean and Diluc then stayed under the shade of two different trees. Jean observed Diluc from where she sat but the other person did not even face her and seemed to refuse to look at her. His arms were crossed over his chest, the white shirt on him was fitted. He was clearly displeased and Jean tightly pressed her lips.
He could still feel her back against his chest and her scent. How her wrist was so small in his grip. His fingernails dug into his palms and his face darkened. He needed to keep his distance from her, and yet, he was supposed to marry her. How can he maintain the distance he thought he would have if he married her at this rate?
Something has shifted. And he couldn't allow himself to fall any deeper than he already was, he really shouldn't.
"Let's get back to your training." Diluc's stare was cold and she simply glanced at the grass as she got up.
The two continued to train but it was clear that Jean's reflexes were off.
He sighed aloud, "Perhaps it would be better if we stop the training for now."
Jean stared at him with etched brows, it seemed as though she did not approve of what he was suggesting. "I can still train."
He raised a brow at her, "It is clear that you are exhausted, let's not push it." He then quickly glanced at her, "Didn't you say a healthy body with a healthy mind is important?"
Jean looked exasperated when her own words were thrown to her, she lifted her chin to gaze up at the sky and she giggled carefreely, "I didn't think you'd use those particular words against me."
And he observed her with pressed lips.
But the wind suddenly picked up, making their hair fly whichever direction and Jean held her bangs in place and closed her eyes to ensure dust did not enter them. She didn't know how much Diluc wanted to hold her hair for her, or perhaps use his body to shield her from the strong gust. Or how he tightly clenched his fist to resist such a random thought of action that he wished so badly to do.
She was very beautiful in his eyes.
~.~.~.~.~.~
Jean was sweating and it was clear yet again that she was struggling, and Diluc frowned.
"We aren't continuing our training." Diluc suddenly announced and Jean was left shocked at his words.
"What? Did I do something wrong?" Jean reasoned as she glanced at him with drawn brows.
"You are clearly distracted, something I have noticed for a few days already." Diluc crossed his arms. And Jean looked defeated before him. "I heard about your cousin's–" He noticed how she looked down on the grass and tilted her head away ever so slightly "Formal announcement and celebration to become the next head of the Gunnhildr Clan."
"Yes, I am very happy for my cousin." Jean finally replied as she raised her head to stare at him as coldly as she could.
"Klaus Gunnhildr." Diluc recited the name he recalled hearing in passing.
"A very distant cousin of mine." She sighed, "At one point mother considered having me or Barbara marry him."
Diluc raised a brow not expecting to have her confirm an old rumor he had heard. A rumor to which now he was not pleased to know could have been. Or rather, to be accurate, unpleasantly confirmed.
"I am handling the preparation for his celebration." Jean laughed brokenly and he snapped out from the negative thoughts he had and found that he wanted to comfort her, but how?
"Did you even tell your mother that you wanted to be heir apparent?" Diluc asked and he noted how the corners of her lips slightly turned.
"You asked the same thing before." She told him, her expression as she stared at him was misty.
"From that time till now, you never asked your mother?" Diluc tried to confirm and it was clear on her face what the answer was.
She shook her head, and stared at him with watery eyes. "I trust her decision."
His hands shook by his side and the next thing he knew he held her in his arms and she stifled a cry and hugged him back.
"But it still hurts…" He mumbled to her and she confirmed that it did with a small little nod against his firm chest.
Jean finished crying rather quickly and pulled away, "I am so sorry, I don't know what had gotten into me." She tried to laugh it off..
"Jean." He called her name and she looked startled. "I think that you should really discuss this with your mother, you might be surprised, maybe she really did want you to be her heir."
She shook her head, "Then she should have offered it to me a long time ago. But when I was a kid, she was already training Klaus to be her heir."
"Do you… want to talk about it?" Diluc offered and he watched her brows come close to one another and she chuckled.
"How odd, hearing you sound so compassionate." She remarked softly.
"Well, I will be your husband, and I figure that offering such a thing would help our work relationship." He explained, hiding the initial concern he had for her, but he knew that she likely heard his genuine concern for her already.
"Klaus is capable, he would be a very good head for the family." Jean smiled tightly.
"But the option should have been given to you." Diluc couldn't help but mumble.
"Well, if it was, I wouldn't be here, now, would I?" Jean couldn't help but point it out which made a knot form in Diluc's chest.
Should he be glad that Frederica did not choose Jean as her heir?
"I will make you a great swordsman." Diluc spoke, laying his strong hands firmly on her shoulders, it was as if he was making an oath to her.
"I believe you." Jean smiled as she responded.
"First, let's rest and then we shall continue." Diluc suggested as he ushered her to a tree. "On the next session, when we meet… Why don't we just relax and have a picnic."
Jean was evidently surprised with his suggestion but hummed an agreement and an alluring smile was directed at him.
A rather alluring and distracting smile.
~.~.~.~.~
Diluc had lost count of how many times he had been meeting Jean. Most of the time they would be training, but there were instances wherein they'd just talk or have a picnic and talk.
When Diluc reached their meeting place, Jean was in a skirt and sitting on a picnic blanket. It seemed that today was one of the days that they would just sit on the blanket and enjoy each other's company. It was difficult to say no to her. He had gotten used to her forcing him to relax, not that at this point she was forcing him.
He was quietly obliging her, indulging her really, even though his thoughts of rationality told him otherwise. He still indulged her.
"Greetings, Jean." Diluc politely spoke and Jean looked up to smile at him gently.
"Hello, Diluc." She responded and he nodded at her, he sat by the edge of the blanket with crossed legs and closed his eyes as he also crossed his arms.
"I hope you don't intend to sleep like that." He heard Jean say and he did not respond, he heard her sigh aloud which brought a smile on his lips. "You are going to have some back problems."
"I am meditating, I will be alright." He pointed out listening very carefully to her breathing. He heard her sigh again but she did not insist on making him lay on the ground.
Diluc was feeling rather tired a few minutes into his meditation, he couldn't help the bobbing of his head as he fought away the sleepiness.
"Why don't you lay your head on my lap?" Came Jean's suggestion which made him open his eyes. He looked at her confusedly, the sleepiness in his eyes still very clear. "You might as well lay your head properly; you do look very tired."
"That–" He hesitated and then she cut him off.
"I don't know what you do, but you always seem very tired. At least recently, when we do picnics like this, it seems that you can truly rest." A small explanation from Jean and his heart skipped a beat.
It was true he did feel much more refreshed sleeping by her side even for a minute than compared to sleeping at home for an hour. For her to notice such a thing, he chuckled aloud.
"You, Jean, could really be a formidable opponent." She smiled at him in response, most likely not understanding his words. And that in itself was more than alright.
"What a unique way to compliment your future wife." Her smile brightened up and Diluc pressed his lips to control the unexplainable desire to smile at her.
Even though she did not know what he truly meant by those words, her response was nothing short of being splendid. It almost rendered him speechless. But that was probably because he had forgotten that he was to marry her, that they had an agreement and that he had to stand by said agreement.
Yes, he had to keep to his lane. He could see clearly her strengths. All of which are rather good traits to be a swordsman.
"You really would be a formidable opponent– intelligent, light on your feet and very observant." The amusement in Diluc's voice was so very evident, there was even a twinkle in his eyes. Jean's silver eyes try to avoid the passion in the red eyed man.
"Uhm…if you don't mind, I really do insist that you use my lap as your pillow, it would be more comfortable for you." Diluc was about to respond to her offer but she quickly added, "It would at least help us get closer, after all, we will be married, such skin ship would not be unusual."
What Jean pointed out wasn't exactly wrong. But the kind of relationship the two wanted to aim for didn't exactly need them to be close. In fact, him training her should be the only kind of skin ship they should have. He even kept a conscious effort to make sure that the skin ship the two had are on the minimal side.
Imagine that, a trainer who is teaching physical combat trying his hardest to avoid the physical aspect of a very laboring activity. Almost rather laughable really, but this situation was an agreement between the two for an even bigger scheme– the training part and everything else– like the beating of his heart, he can control.
Diluc deeply inhaled, "I… am really tired." The words came out of his lips rather unexpectedly and Jean smiled at him.
Jean's fingers patted her lap as if brushing dust away and she looked up to him, "I hope you have a good rest."
He nodded, sliding closer to her. He knew he shouldn't, he really shouldn't. And yet he was clearly going to take her offer.
"Well, there is only one way to find out." He said as he laid down and rested his head on her lap. The sleepiness instantly took over him. He recognized the warmth and calmness that she brought to him.
Dangerous. This was really dangerous.
And yet, he fell asleep, and when he woke up and opened his eyes to see her, it felt right.
Jean's eyes were studying something before them as she caressed the top of his head absentmindedly.
She had not noticed that he was already awake, and he only noticed what he did when his hands were already against her cheek.
Startled silver eyes glanced down at him and he instantly spoke, "You look tired." She faintly smiled and before she could respond he added, "And it seemed that you prompted me to rest but here we are, you lack sleep too." He got up.
"It's been hectic…I got to close my eyes a bit when you were sleeping" She reassured him, the smile on her lips wavering.
"That won't do." He sat facing her, he patted his lap. "Your turn." He cocked a brow at her and he watched her face turn from confusion to surprise and then she finally just giggled.
"What?" She sounded terribly too baffled for his liking, well at least, normally he would if it was anyone else. But it was her and she shook her head slightly and even her rejection he didn't mind.
"This time it's your turn to sleep." Diluc patted his lap again and her brows were drawn together.
"I– I didn't think you would offer such a thing ever." She confessed and the hesitation on her face was clear.
"C'mon, it's your turn to sleep. Quite bold of you to offer your lap for me to sleep on, when you yourself are tired." Jean looked at him and he looked at her sternly.
"It's just been tiring preparing for Klaus' celebration." Jean admitted and then glanced at his lap with pressed lips. "I don't know when it started– but it seems that the professionalism that we wanted to maintain has been broken."
For someone he praised for being very observant, for her to notice such a thing just now made him frown. A small voice in his head wondered if it was only him being plagued by thoughts of the person before him. Perhaps she never had the kinds of conflicts he had been having for days.
Diluc stared down on his lap and smiled vaguely, "Well, I suppose this is better, after all we still need to be decently amicable once we are married." He sighed then looked at her. "I realized we haven't signed a contract for you–"
"There is no need, from my observation of you– you are an honorable man." Jean cut him off and the surprise in his face could not be hidden.
"Honorable?" Diluc chuckled in a rather mocking manner. "I think only you Lady Gunnhildr would describe me as such."
Jean instantly responded, "I insist, Sir Diluc, that we do not need a contract for this undertaking." He frowned but she continued on. "Perhaps I will reconsider when we make it official– our engagement."
He studied her with sharp eyes, "I do not know if it is misplaced trust on me, or because you intend to throw me once you have gathered all the knowledge I have to offer, to be able to suggest such a thing."
Jean's lips upturned gently, "Either way, I insist, we do not need a contract."
"No." Diluc opposed quickly, his tone harsh and unwelcoming. "You will not be put in a disadvantageous position, and especially not from me."
The blonde woman simply smiled at him vaguely, and the wind brushed their hair gently as the two stared at one another.
~.~.~.~.~
The moment Diluc arrived he handed her a big brown envelope, "Look over the details and tell me if it is to your liking."
Jean exuded such a thick vibe of being unbothered it almost made Diluc seethe in anger, almost.
It seemed that she had such an effect on him. To almost want something so much it was making his entire beliefs shake. To almost hold her as if she was the most precious thing in the world. To almost desire something that was so close to him.
Almost.
She was almost at the reach of his hands.
He chuckled in such a clipped manner that Jean actually thoughtfully gazed at him. "Read the paper work, and if there is something you do not like, come and find me." He said tightly.
She did not even attempt to touch the envelope and Diluc couldn't help but lift his chin a little. "I said I won't take a contract." Her words were really making him… irked.
He gritted his teeth, putting the thing down against his lap with a flick of his wrist, "And I can't help but wonder where this pride is coming from. Is it really something misguided or is it a calculated decision?"
Jean smiled thinly and he added. "I insist." Putting the paper up between them again. His eyes clearly showed his firmness on the matter. She glanced at the envelope and took the paper with a blank face and stored it in her pouch.
"Happy?" Her tone was rather teasing and Dilic's frown deepened, but it was to control the bubbling feeling in his stomach because she still had the energy to tease him. "We should continue with today's session."
Jean's lips turned into a friendlier smile and Diluc did not try to insist that she check the papers now as it seemed that he was seeing her stubbornness at this very moment. He couldn't understand why she would suggest not to have a contract, if anything it is far safer to have a contract in her case. He could not comprehend her choice at all.
But instead of consuming more time wondering as to why, he urged her to start her warm ups so that they could continue training. Unfortunately, the thought would still creep into his mind.
"Your form is quite amazing." He complimented her, tucking away the worries about why she did not want a contract as he truly admired her superb form.
"Thank you." She smiled at him and he was visibly taken aback.
"Well, to have such a perfect form already at this point in time, I think it shows how naturally talented you are. A lot of other people would admittedly take years to develop what you have. A natural talent indeed." He studied her thoughtfully and the smile on his lips could not be hidden, even the joy in his voice.
Jean froze and stared at him, her long eyelashes fluttering, he wondered if it was the wind. "I am really glad to be able to sharpen such great potential." He mumbled as he licked his lips, pushing the image of her fluttering eyes off of his mind.
~.~.~.~.~
Diluc was walking to their meeting place again, and it seemed that these little treks to their spots had become something he had gotten rather comfortable with. In fact, something he looked forward to. The realization struck him dumb, but before he could think of the matter even more deeply, he noticed the blonde woman in a skirt huddled behind a tree like a ball.
His footsteps quickened but still as silent as it always was. When he was closer, he heard her sniffing.
"Are you crying? What's wrong?" He asked, the agitation in his voice clear and Jean gazed up with wide eyes and wet cheeks.
"Dear Barbatos— I didn't mean for you to see me in such a state." Jean stood up as she wiped her tears and tried to put on a brave front.
"Jean—"
The blonde shook her head, chuckling and effectively cutting him off. "I must seem so foolish." Turning her body so that Diluc couldn't see her.
Diluc hesitated, his hand outstretched only a few inches away from her small back. Small back, he never thought of her having such a small back until now.
She was still a woman indeed, a woman he felt he needed to protect. But he had seen what she was capable of and he had trained her. He also knew the kind of fighter that she could still become. And so, to a degree, thinking she needed protection felt wrong. And yet he also couldn't deny how right the thought was.
Diluc grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his arms. A thought that didn't fully form in his mind, his body did almost automatically.
She had stopped crying for a moment likely due to shock by being suddenly pulled. But against his warmth, the smaller figure gave in to his rare show of affection and hugged him as she wept.
When the crying stopped, the two sat against a tree bark quietly. The silence was oddly comforting.
"It's about Klaus, isn't it?" Diluc finally asked as he observed the leaves of the tree across from them.
"It… hurts I admit, it's like preparing the wedding of the person you love. Someone you wanted to be with" Jean chuckled, "Not that I know anything about that."
"Well, that is rather a fitting metaphor…" Diluc couldn't help but agree to her words, as being the heir seemed to be something she wanted desperately.
"I hope you aren't mistaken; I did want to be the Gunnhildr Clan Leader when I was younger, but now, I don't." Diluc had pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to her and raised a brow at her words. Her hand gently took his handkerchief and gave him a thankful smile. "I no longer want to be Clan Leader, I realized how tiring it is…" She paused thoughtfully. "How demanding the position is."
"Well, that comes with power and position." Diluc sounded as if he was distant, like he was recalling something.
"We should continue training, after all, that is the purpose why we are here, isn't it?" Jean urged softly and Diluc chuckled, putting a hand beside him and leaned back as he glanced at her.
"Oh? Now you are concerned about why we are training? I was thinking with all the picnics you have held; you have already forgotten the real purpose of our meetings." Diluc's haughtiness made Jean laugh. And the corner of his lips could not help but twitch, a smile fighting to fully erupt, and he did not let it.
That smile, these affections.
Almost.
Almost too deep.
Almost letting himself give in.
Almost wanting to be more to her.
Almost.
He can stay behind that line: almost.
Jean suddenly stood up and he didn't need her to tell him what she was going to say next to know what she intended to do.
He stood up too, "Alright, let's train."
But he knew her more than he should have already, almost has been a little behind him for some time now.
~.~.~.~.~
Training.
Training has felt rather different for Diluc for some time now. He would find himself often wondering if the blonde before him was wondering the same thing, or in the very least about as much as he did.
He enjoyed her company. Perhaps a bit too much, but still, he enjoyed every second, even the silence.
"Okay, let's warm up." He announced and she nodded.
After doing their warm ups, they started with some blocking techniques at a slow pace.
"To the face!" He suddenly said but aimed for her stomach and she blocked it well. "Head!" Aiming for her right shoulder and she successfully blocked it too. "Chest!" This time he actually aimed for her chest and she blocked it well.
Diluc backed away pleased, he smiled at her and she looked awestruck, but he had not noticed it and gave her a high side kick. But her reaction was a bit too late, this at least he was able to recognize. Jean stepped back but was a little too slow, stumbled and would have fallen. He grabbed her wrist before she could fall on her butt and pulled her to him with all his weight.
It was a reaction that didn't need much thinking, it was as if it was only natural to pull her to him.
Her body slammed against his and he took a step back as he put his other hand on her lower back trying to ensure her safety as he steadied them both. It was at that moment he realized what he had done. That he pulled her to him.
His mind was a buzz and her gaze at him was too close than it ever has been. Her lips… almost touching his.
Jean was panting and it only made his red eyes focus more on her pink lips.
He should pull away. Just as she should pull away too.
Her hand rested against his beating heart as she steadied herself and calmed her breathing, but that made him grip her wrist tighter and their gaze remained locked at one another.
Let go.
He should and she should too, and yet, neither made a move to let go of the other. Why hasn't she pushed him away?
He desperately wanted her to push him away.
Jean's eyes were clearly locked on his lips and the temptation for him to capture her lips became stronger. He had to pull away now.
But before he could pull away from her tempting presence, her lips were already against his and he inhaled deeply taken aback by her move. He wished he hadn't inhaled because inhaling her scent made him lose what little resistance he had.
Diluc kissed her back, his hand behind her waist pulling her closer.
And she reciprocated.
And he returned that kiss too.
And the two continued to lock lips.
Maybe he wasn't the only one desiring to be held by the other. He felt her small hands on his chest, lips still intertwined.
He wasn't sure how but she was lying on the grass and him over her body. He was kissing her neck but he was conscious enough to remember not to leave any marks on her.
His kisses on her body were fleeting. One of her hands was on his shoulder, the other one on his forearm. She sighed and his lips were brought back to hers. Jean's fingers quivering against his firm muscles.
~.~.~.~.~.
He wondered how he'd meet her after that last session, should he tell her to forget about it? That it would be better if they keep their relationship strictly professional? He thought about not showing up too. That would be easier, but he didn't.
He decided to meet her anyway, in the very least, to put up a front.
He couldn't let his emotions for her cloud his judgement any further as they already have.
And yet, when Diluc saw her in pants with a serious expression, the thought of negating those kisses felt very wrong.
He couldn't do it. How could he?
Maybe she would do it for him.
"Jean." He called her name and she glanced up from rubbing her hands.
"Oh, hello…Diluc." She replied, her nervousness clear and even that felt like something that didn't suit Jean Gunnhildr.
After the lengthy make out session the other day, the two weren't sure how this relationship should proceed.
"I-" They said at the same time and stopped.
"No–" They said together again and Jean laughed.
"Well, I hope what happened the other day won't affect how you train me." Jean spoke ahead.
"Uh, yes…" Diluc looked away, unable to look at her. He should tell her to forget what happened and tell her that it was a mistake.
Tell her that she was just a mark to him.
"I don't regret kissing you." Jean mumbled and Diluc was taken away from his reverie. He noticed her clenched hands and he deeply inhaled as he took a step forward.
"I don't regret it too." He spoke suddenly and she looked up at him, their eyes locked.
Why did he tell her that?
Jean smiled, "I hope you don't go easy on me." she cocked a brow at him and he smiled warmly and she froze at the sight.
He chuckled in response and then it dawned on him. He pressed his lips tightly and looked at her seriously. "I like you, I won't deny it, but do not make a mistake, this is still an agreement of convenience, I cannot have you stop me from my nightly activities. I know there aren't as many rumors of me with other women, and I do not deny that it is out of respect for you that I have hidden such activities, but I will not drop everything for you."
This had to be done.
Jean's smile looked slightly pained but he tried his best to keep his face firm. "Yes, I know, the same goes for me. I still plan to do what I wish–when we are married without your… careful watch."
It hurt to hear her say such words, but this had to be done.
"Good." He stared at her and she matched his determination. "I think it is time to train with swords now."
She nodded, smiling faintly.
He didn't like hurting her, saying those words. But he needed to draw a line and she clearly didn't mind it. So, the convenience they wanted is still achieved in the end.
This is what he wanted.
His lifestyle cannot stop because of one woman.
~.~.~.~.~.~
Author's Notes:
Okay, I know it has been a while, some confessions.
I have had 5k words for months but struggled badly to continue.
IMPORTANT: because chapter 1 was about 7400 words, I will always aim for about that amount per chapter.
Again, struggled so badly, legit forgot the flow for these coming chapters due to what I believe I mentioned last chapter. Mind went blank and it never came back to me, but yes, pace is picking up.
I also admit, I have a love hate relationship for my works… this one I have contemplated deleting multiple times….. BUT worry not, I won't bc I know someone out there loves this uncompleted work.
Hope you like this chapter, I hope the development and struggle is well written.
LASTLY, IMPORTANT: These training sessions timeframe isn't specifically fixed, they should be happening within a few months. And yes, there should be one more if it all fits. hehehe