A/N: Takes place right after Changes Ch 3!

"Just fuck me," Olivia begged from where she was sandwiched between her husband and the wall in Carl's Hamptons guest house kitchen.

Ragged breathing filled the room as Elliot obeyed her orders, pulling open her robe and spinning her quickly.

"You can't avoid this forever, Liv," he said, dropping his towel, body still glistening with water from their late night skinny dipping. He fisted himself, leaning forward to bite her exposed shoulder, the scruff of his three day old beard scraping the lightly reddened skin from the sun.

"Elliot if you don't stop talking and start fucking me I'm gonna lose myyAGH!!!!," she cried, dropping her head and screaming out as the sound of his hand slapping her ass echoed in their empty kitchen.

"Again," she begged, laying her torso flat against the granite top of the counter and groaning in pleasure when he took a fistful of her hair and pulled back.

"I don't like when you don't talk to me," he said, slapping her ass again, not bothering to soothe the area before hitting it again, the tips of his fingers brushing her swollen and needy lips.

"So punish me," she choked out, the air being restricted from her lungs by the angle he had her head pulled back.

"Remember your safe word," he said through gritted teeth

A hard slap on her other cheek jolted her forward, and breaking lose of his grip, she turned back just enough to sneer at him.

"I don't need a safe word."

He took a step back, and she raised herself up, turning and facing him, defiantly.

Her chest was heaving and each time her lungs expanded and her heavy breasts lifted, he could see shallow concave of her collar bone.

Reaching his arm out straight to grab her throat, he took a step towards her. "I'm not doing this if you can't remember your safe word."

Desperately trying to keep and his focus and seriousness, especially when she gripped his cock, he gave a look of warning.

"I said I don't need one."

"You're being a brat," he said, closing his fingers a little tighter.

"Mhm," she agreed, squeezing the head of his aching member.

"Liv," he gritted out.

"Fine… my safe word? Chief."

Five Days Earlier:

"Retiring?" Liv asked her chief with wide eyes.

He was holding Ellie and looked more relaxed and mellowed than she'd ever seen him before.

"Yeah… I need to be with my family. My wife and I are growing apart and my daughters are getting older… plus, I don't think I'm cut out for this job," he said honestly.

"Chief…" she began but he cut her off.

"It's okay, Benson… I know the truth," he said, motioning for her to sit.

"You've improved… a lot," she offered with a small smile, still pacing a bit. "Like I never imagined you'd love on my kids as much as you do."

He laughed. "They're cute kids, I can't help it."

"Very fair," she chuckled.

"You know Benson? Being a chief is so much more than handing out orders," he said after a few moments of silence. "It's about knowing how to handle the people you're handing orders too. 'S'about having as more respect and love for them than you have for yourself. And I could never quite figure that out."

"Tommy," she sighed, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch.

"I think it's something you've always had. It's an innate skill. From all the stories I've heard and watching you with your team… truly, a lot of people could do my job better than me. But no one could do it better than you," he finished, handing off Ellie when she started to whine for her afternoon bottle.

Olivia was stunned, and took her baby daughter, holding her to her chest and looking up to her boss where he was now standing.

"I know you just brought another little one home, and I know Elliot is retiring and you came to me today with the same intention but… I'm recommending you for Chief, Olivia. There's no question about it. Every higher up and all the other deputies agree… no one could do it better than you."

Too stunned to speak, Liv just nodded slowly, kissing her daughter's cheek as McGrath chuckled. "Think about it. You've got till September."

Four Days Earlier:

"You have to talk to me about it eventually, you know," El said, coming up behind her as she made coffee early on Tuesday morning.

"I have till September," she reminded him, sighing when his arm wrapped around her hips and spun her towards him.

"'S'only two months away," he said against her temple.

She opened her mouth to talk right as Ellie cried from her room.

"Mommy's tiny best friend," she laughed, slipping from his arms.

"I knew giving you a daughter to raise from birth was gonna backfire against me," he called as she escaped to their baby's room in a fit of laughter.

Three Days Earlier:

"Chief? You'd be insane to not take Chief!" Fin exclaimed as Liv shook her head and walked to shut her office door.

"Keep your voice down," she instructed, sitting back with a huff.

"What did Elliot say?" Fin asked, passing over her coffee.

Taking it, she gave him a look and he rolled his eyes. "You drive me nuts."

"He's gonna want me to take it."

"He should! But what do you want?"

"I want to raise my kids with my husband that I had to wait 23 years to get."

"You don't think he wants that too?"

"Course he does but…I don't want him to regret or like… hold it against me that he's doing this all over again. With no help!"

Standing up, Fin laughed and shook his head. "For one of the smartest women I've ever met? You sure are thick, Chief."

Two Days Earlier:

"Wish you guys could come with us," El said as he sat at lunch with Dickie, Nate, and Ellie.

Noah was at an all day dance-camp, so he was taking some time with his oldest boy who was headed off with his wife's family for the holiday weekend.

"Yeah I know, but gotta spend a little time with her family," he laughed. "Livvie talk to you yet?"

"Nope…" El gritted slightly, eying Nate to make sure he was distracted.

"Talk to her this weekend? Make someone watch the kids."

"We will… but you know I'm gonna have to force it out of her. She's gonna pull me aside before we leave tomorrow and make me promise to not bring it up so we can enjoy vacation."

Dickie laughed, taking a sip of his beer and reaching for his baby sister. "You two drive me insane."

"We drive one another insane," he laughed, passing her off.

"Dad, what do you want?"

"I want her to do whatever makes her happy. Chief is a huge deal, but I know she loves SVU. She also loves me and the kids, and wants to be with us and raise them fully. Both are once in a lifetime opportunities for her. I know her, and I know she's worried that if she keeps working I'm gonna resent her for making me be a stay at home dad."

"But you want to be a stay at home dad?"

"Exactly," Elliot said laughing. "Honestly, I kinda wanna prove to myself I can do it on my own. This is my second chance I didn't get with you guys… maybe that makes me selfish?"

"No dad, definitely not. Exact opposite," Dickie nodded.

"Plus, I mean…I don't think she's ready to retire. At the core of Olivia Benson is this remarkable desire to help people and love them with everything she's got. To make the world a better place… her passion is that job. And I'm okay with that, it's what made me fall for her so long ago."

"Just keep pushing her," Dickie said with a nod, noticing that Nate was now listening in. "And you," he said to his little brother. "Keep this conversation between the three of us. Got it?"

"Tewl mama?"

"Absolutely no telling mama."

"Tay," he shrugged, returning to his picture he was scribbling on.

One Day Earlier:

El: How much do I have to pay you and Jenny to watch your brothers and sister tomorrow night?

E: We already factored that into our weekend, but I'll always take 50.

El: 50?!

E: Two babies!

El: Nate is basically a teenager.

E: Look do you wanna force the chief conversation out of mom and then get laid or not.

El: Elliot Joseph!!

El: Also who told you?!

E: We've been discussing it all week. Noah texted us.

El: Oh… what does everyone think?

E: She should take it cause she's awesome.

E: 40 and pizza, final offer

El: Done. Love you, kid.

He slipped his phone in his pocket as Liv walked in from getting the kids settled in the car. "We have everything?"

"I think so," he said, pulling her flush to him and pecking her lips.

"Baby," she sighed, resting her head against his chest.

"Not saying a word," he kissed her temple.

"Till we're alone tomorrow night and you all but force it out of me."

He winced. "I'm really that predictable?"

"You?! Yes!" She exclaimed with a laugh, taking his hand and dragging him from the house.

"I take bribes, you know."

"I'll skinny dip with you if you don't bring it up."

"Sex in the ocean?"

"Mhm," she said as he stepped between her and the car door.

"Alright, but no promises," he said, leaning to kiss her before opening the door.

Present:

He groaned and released her neck, huffing out on his way back to their room.

"El," she sighed, covering her face for a moment to steady himself before following him.

He was pulling his shorts on over his painfully erect member, and looked up at her with a sigh.

"Baby…" she frowned, eyes filling up beyond her control.

"I'm your husband, just talk to me!" He said, his frustrations, both sexual and with her sudden closed off demeanor, getting the best of him.

"I'm scared!" She shot back, covering her face as tears rushed to her eyes.

Her robe still hung open and he sighed, slowly approaching her and sliding his hands along her waist to the expanse of her bare back.

"Being married means you have someone to be scared with… be scared with me, babe."

Her hair was still damp and cool from their late night dip, and it ticked his chin and neck as she burrowed into his chest. "I don't wanna make the wrong choice…"

"How could you?" He asked, pulling back and tilting her chin upwards. "You either be at home with our babies which is amazing, or you become a deputy chief of the NYPD and continue to set an incredible example of strength and perseverance for our daughter and show our sons what a badass woman is and how we need to protect and respect them at all costs."

She heaved a breath into his chest, her tears running hard and fast as she squeezed him tightly.

"And if you stay captain? Guess what? Still incredible, cause it's you, Liv."

"I don't deserve you," she sniffled, tears rolling down her face.

"You deserve way better than my old ass," he said into her sand filled hair, Brushing it back from her face as he moved to cup her cheeks.

"You don't feel old," she whispered and he chuckled.

"That my cue to let it go?"

She nodded, leaning into his touch when his thumbs wiped under her eyes.

"I will…But," he said, making her laugh and lean into him. "One last thing. Whatever you decide? I'll support you and love you… and I want you to remember something… hey," he whispered, thumbing her chin and forcing her to make eye contact with him.

"I'm choosing to retire and be home with them… cause I'm ready. I've paid my dues, and I've dealt with this shit, and I missed so much time with my kids, that now? I'm ready to just be a dad. And if that includes getting to make my badass Chief wife lunch in the morning before dealing with two tiny humans all day who may cause me to pull my hair out on the occasion? That's what I'm signing up for, Benson."

"You don't have hair," she whispered, hiding her smile in his chest that vibrated with his laughter as he hugged her close.

"I love you, Elliot," she said, pressing a kiss to his peck.

"I love you, Liv… no matter what."

Looking up at him with a smile, she reached up on her tip toes to peck his lips several times while his hands roamed down to her ass, pulling her core flush with his throbbing member.

"One. More. Thing." He staccatoed between pecks as she groaned playfully.

"Yes?"

"What's your safe word," he asked, his voice suddenly serious and his eyes dark again.

With a smirk, pressed further on her toes to catch his ear with her teeth. "Booty call," she whispered, squealing as she was lifted over his shoulder and into the air.

His strong arms wrapped protectively around the backs of her legs and he turned his head to sink his teeth into meat or her ass as he blindly walked them to the kitchen, setting her back down.

"Where were we?" He asked, smirking when she bent over to expose herself to him. "Oh yeah," he said with a wink, sinking down to his knees and positioning his face between her bare legs.

The following morning, Liv woke with a splitting headache to Nate nuzzling into her. "Hi mama," he whispered.

Forcing her eyes open, she saw Eli's silhouette standing beside her in their still dark room.

"Meltdown," he whispered, frowning.

"What's wrong buddy? You almost made it it's 4am," she whispered, brushing aside his hair.

"Scare," he said, hiding his face in her chest. "Scare mama."

"Scared? You had your big brothers, handsome boy…"

"Some idiot down the road started lighting of fireworks an hour ago and he got really, really nervous and couldn't go back to sleep," Eli sighed waving to his dad who was sleepily sitting up.

"Jackasses," he mumbled, pulling Nate into his chest and settling back to go to sleep with him.

"Hi dada," he whispered, wrapping a little arm around him.

"Hi baby boy," he muttered in his sleep. "You know your brothers wouldn't ever let anything happen to you, right?"

"Yah wan dada mama," he nodded.

"That's okay baby," Liv said, leaning to kiss his head before smiling up to Eli. "Ellie and Noah okay?"

"Perfect," he nodded. "Gonna go back to bed," he yawned, waving. "Love you guys."

"Love you," they replied, and Liv rolled to hug her boys.

Nate was already snoring lightly and she groaned against her husbands lips. "I have a headache."

"You wanted to do tequila shots," he pouted.

"Maybe he'll sleep in?"

"He can have 24 hours of screen time tomorrow if he lets us sleep," Elliot said and Liv chuckled.

"D'you bite the shit out of me last night?" She asked, noticing the tinge of pain on her ass when she rolled over.

"Oh yeah ," he said. "Only where you can't see it."

"Oh gee, thanks," she teased and he smiled in his sleep.

"So cary dada! Boom! Boom! Chhhhhh."

Liv woke again a few hours later to Nate seated on Elliot's chest, eating a breakfast bar and chatting with his dad.

Laying in the opposite direction with her eyes shut, she enjoyed just listening to the duo for a few minutes.

"Why dat dada?" He asked, setting his bar on his chest and picking up on of the hands that was settled around him so he didn't fall.

El chuckled softly as Nate began to twist his wedding band absentmindedly like he usually did when he was still sleepy and there was no shirt or beard for him to mess with.

"They're called fireworks… they're so pretty and you'll see them tomorrow night."

"Aye-wowk?"

"Yeah, they're really bright and a little loud… but very very cool and couldn't harm you."

Nate hummed his concern before dropping El's hand in favor of his breakfast bar again.

"I'll hold you the whole time… you can sit on my shoulders okay?"

"Tay dada," he yawned. "Done, dada," he announced, holding up his half eaten bar.

Opening his mouth a dramatic ah, Nate giggled and popped the rest of his early morning snack into his dad's mouth before sliding off him and back between his parents.

"Mama seepin?"

"No she's awake," El said with a soft chuckle before Liv rolled over and smiled with her eyes closed.

"Mama," Nate giggled, shaking his head and leaning down to kiss her cheek.

"What time is it?" She asked, pulling him into her chest.

"7:30," El laughed and Liv groaned playfully, hearing the front door open once again.

Nate gasped. "Hi Eyi!"

"How do you know it's Eli?" El laughed.

"Tus my Eyi dada," he said, smiling when he walked in with Ellie in tow. "My eyyi too!"

"Noah is still asleep, I'm going back to sleep," Eli laughed, passing his sister to his mom. "We'll meet ya at the beach soon."

"Bye Eyi," Nate smiled waving and Eli, gasped dramatically, grabbing his chest. "You don't want me to stay???"

He giggled. "No wan mama an dada an Eyyi."

"Okay fiiiine but you and me are playing on the beach," he said with a laugh.

"Tay!" He nodded, laying back and rolling into Ellie to kiss her cheek.

"Alright everyone back to sleep," El yawned, wrapping his arm around the trio.

"Little too much tequila last night, guys?" Eli called as he walked out.

"Tell your siblings and I'll beat you," El called back weakly as Liv giggled.

Nate giggled, too, and rolled back into El's chest.

"Dada?"

"Yes buddy?"

"I hapty yew tire."

"Yeah?" He asked, brushing back his hair and looking to Liv.

"Mhm… we pay an tuff. Awl day!"

"Yeah, we will huh," he said softly as Liv blinked quickly.

"Mhm. See mama wowk. An den pawk," he smiled.

"Yeah? You happy if mama stays working?"

"Mhm," he smiled, rolling his head back to Liv. "Mama dood wowk."

"She is good at work huh?" El said with a smile and Liv breathed out a soft chuckle, wiping her eyes.

"Bessss," Nate nodded, yawning and snuggling back into Elliot. "Mama bess wowk."

"Mama is the best at work, thats very right, my boy," he said, smiling over at Liv who was wiping her eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you."

The next day:

Three days straight at the beach had worn everyone out, especially Nate and Ellie, but not so much that they were gonna miss fireworks.

After a good and long afternoon nap and lots of snacks, the family set up camp on the private adjoining beaches as they waited for the show to start.

Jenny's dad managed to scrounge up an extra set of ear protectors for Nate, who was perched happily on his dad's shoulders, leaning on his head and looking into the ocean intently.

Eli and Noah were standing in front of them on the beach, goofing around while Jenny laughed, and Liv was leaned into her husband's side with Ellie nuzzled to her chest.

Their little girl was accessorized with a red, white, and blue bow and massive pink earmuffs that had everyone in hysterics.

Liv was zeroed in on her boys and her grandkids, who'd made their way over to their uncles for some cuddles and love.

She watched as Eli hoisted up their oldest granddaughter to his shoulders and Noah knelt down to his younger niece and nephew, pointing up at the sky.

Elliot and Nate moved into her line of vision next to go stand beside them as the other kids gathered, fawning all over their little brother and joking with their dad.

"You know, just cause you love something doesn't mean you have to let it go."

Bernie's voice filled her ears through the pops and cracks of the fireworks, breaking her intense concentration on her family. She looked down at her mother in law with a small but unsure smile.

"It's the 21st century, Olivia. You can have it all; the guy, the kids, and the job," she continued. "You deserve it… remember that, Chief," she said in the signature mater of fact tone.

The large tear drops that slid down Olivia's face were glowing red and blue from the fireworks as she watched the old woman walk down towards the rest of the family.

"Chief," she whispered to herself, wiping her eyes.

Ellie rustled in her carrier, looking up to her mom with a sleepy, toothless grin.

"Chief Benson-Stabler…" she wondered aloud, and her daughter smiled bigger up at her. "Nice ring to it huh?"

"Liv!" El called, waving for her.

"Coming!" She called back, starting to head towards him, but stopping a moment to kiss her daughters head and process the words that had just left her mouth.

"Has a nice ring to it," she affirmed softly with a smile that boasted most confidence. "Mama is gonna make you proud, baby girl," she said just loud enough for her and Ellie to hear as she joined her family.