XI

And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears

The first thing she thinks when she reaches the Underworld is that she's never felt more like a fish out of water.

It's dark; it's the darkest place she's ever been and at the same time, somehow there's still enough light so that she can't miss any of the details that make it up. Like the million skulls and bones that are scattered around or the rivers that function like the veins of the place. It's one of the weirdest places she's ever been to. She doesn't know how to even begin to describe it.

She cannot help it, but her thoughts take her back to that Saturday morning before she and Luke had their first date. She couldn't help but remember the tour she gave him of her store and how he seemed so excited and looked around with the same glee a kid shows on Christmas morning. Now it makes sense, she was so right back then when she thought he probably had never been to a flower store.

The place he lives in is the literal opposite of hers.

It pains her a little because now so many things about him make sense. When he said his house is a literal hell, and he wasn't happy; it's because he lives really in hell. When he said he would love to be around her store and her place, it's because he was seeking refuge from this awful, barren, dark and miserable place. When he seemed to be the most alive person she'd ever met… It was all because he's the opposite.

It doesn't escape her that the person who's in front of her is not Luke. Well, she knows technically he's Hades, but that's not what she means. What she means is that Luke is not walking upright, he doesn't have that bounce in his step that she usually takes as a sign of happiness and excitement. He doesn't smile or show anything other than sadness.

(And she knows she's not necessarily showing any emotion right now, so it's kinda hypocritical of her, but this is not like that.)

Because the thing is, she knows that Luke is behaving this way because of his surroundings. She knows that his hunching is not to make himself small, but because he's miserable. He walks around as if he's carrying the weight of the world on his back because he is. She remembers every conversation they ever had where he complained about this job and duties and realizes that even though he never mentioned his responsibilities included taking care of every soul that ever existed, he was very honest about the fact that he hated it and it was miserable.

Maybe he didn't lie but masked the truth as he was unable to share with her his whole existence.

She stops her train of thought and tries to keep her focus on her surroundings, which keeps getting horrible by the second. Luke is explaining everything to her with great detail, but this isn't the same scenario as when she talked proudly and happily about her store and showed him around, if anything, it's sort of the opposite situation. So, it's safe to say she absolutely hates it, not necessarily because the place is very scary, but because she knows if things were different between her and Luke, she wouldn't be hyper focusing on the place, but instead on him, because she's sure if things were different he wouldn't be acting like this.

He would behave like the guy she fell in love with.

She doesn't miss the way he pouts like a sad puppy when she greets Reggie and Alex, before finally meeting Willie who is hands down the sweetest person (Person? Ghost? Soul? She's not entirely sure) she's ever met and it's perfect for Alex. She's not faking her enthusiasm when interacting with the boys. She's genuinely happy to see them and meet them now that she knows they are also deities. The fact that Luke isn't even trying to hide how miserable he is because she's treating their friends with a kindness she hasn't extended to him is something she's unable to miss.

(When Luke isn't paying attention, Reggie takes the opportunity to whisper in her ear that his friend has been miserable without her; she decides she should go easy on him… After the tour ends.)

By now she thinks she's done with the surprises, but when they get to the end of the tour, Luke points to a castle and says that's his real home. She has a very hard time keeping her face straight because what the hell. That's when it hits her that her mother used the term King, so technically it makes sense for Luke to actually live in a castle. It's safe to say it's a far cry from the shoe box apartment he showed her.

When they reach his room, she decides the tour was necessary and all but what she really needs right now is to listen to his story. Her mother really did not reveal much, and she knows in any case that she wants to listen to what he has to say. He deserves a chance to explain himself and tell her his story before she makes any kind of decision.

It turns out he doesn't need to speak that much for her to come to the conclusion that Luke is still the same dork who adores her and is almost capable of kissing the ground she walks on. That's the only explanation she has for the way her defenses lower, and she ends up complimenting him in the same teasing manner she used to do.

"Weren't you supposed to be evil and scary? I never thought the god of the dead would be an excitable puppy who doesn't wear sleeves. Someone should let every mythology book know." She smiles at him and when he smiles back at her, she can't help but think that's the guy she's been missing so much.

However, she's not stupid. She knows there's no going back to what they were and not because she doesn't want to but because things are different now; he's a god and a King. He has existed since the beginning of time and has lived through so much. She needs to wrap her head around the idea of her ex-boyfriend playing during the Renaissance and existing during the World Wars.

He has lived forever (lived? Is that the right verb to use? Again, she doesn't know) and that's what makes her wonder: why her? He could've picked anyone else, someone whom it would be easier to share a relationship with because she's sure there's single and available gods and goddesses for him to have a relationship with, and yet he chose her. Why?

So she asks him and the second he begins talking, she knows: she knows he still loves her, and she knows she'll never stop loving him. It's as simple as that. While everything else might be decidedly not simple, their feelings for one another are. When she listens to his answer as to why he didn't sleep with her, she just corroborates it. There's still love in their relationship. It should be overwhelming, but everything has been so surreal since her mother reappeared yesterday, that knowing Luke still loves her is something that actually calms her. She can hold on to that because in the sea of uncertainty that remains, she knows Luke will be her rock.

When he takes her to the top of the castle to see the rest of the place (his realm, his kingdom; she has to remind herself of that not so little detail), she takes advantage and asks a couple of questions.

"Is the place we spent weeks decorating is really your apartment? Because I would be pissed if you're telling me I wasted my time turning that place into something decent." She asks him, making him laugh at her fake-real anger about his supposed place.

"Yeah, I rented it for six months. I want you to know I didn't rent it because I was trying to lie to you. I actually rented it because I wanted to feel like a human. I wanted to experience what it was to have an apartment and not a castle. I wanted to know what it was like to go shopping and look for furniture and create a home with you. I knew those were fairly simply and mundane things, but for me it was really important. I wanted a place to go when this got too much and I created that place with you. I wanted a place to go when eventually you and I parted ways." He explains, and she's moved by his words, by how he treasures even the simplest moments, by how he just wanted a bit of happiness with her; he wasn't even trying to be greedy, he just wanted a slice of normalcy and happiness.

He stays quiet for a moment and so does she, thinking about how a god and a King would just settle for a shoe box apartment as a way to escape his own torturing existence. She thinks about how he clearly loved her so much he settled for a couple of months with her despite knowing very well he'd have to carry on, unable to be with her forever. He settled for kisses and hugs, respecting her and loving her so much that he felt unable to sleep with her, despite wanting to, because he felt dishonest if he carried on with that.

She always thought Luke was an open book and in many ways she still thinks he is, but because of his true nature, he can be very complex. He's not black or white, but instead he's composed of various shades of grey she can't wait to meet. Despite him not liking who he truly is, she still wants to meet Hades, because she knows she'll love that part of him as well.

But they have time. Technically he has all the time in the world, so she can wait a little bit, after things are settled a bit more, after she's able to process the past two days. Then, she'll let him know she wants to know him, all of him.

He ends the silence, chuckling to himself before speaking again; "It's very weird for me to deal with human money, you know? But after our first couple of dates, Reggie taught me everything I needed to know and gave me money to take you out and eventually to rent and furnish the place. He's the one who knows the most about everything human, so I trust him with the money. He likes to joke that he's giving me an allowance."

Julie laughs because it is funny to think that while he's a King, he's inept when it comes to certain things and it shows. However, his words do make him remember their first dates, making something pop into her mind.

"Wait, when we went to Venice Beach you didn't have money on you?" When he shakes his head she cannot help but to laugh at her own thoughts. "Luke! I thought you were homeless. I literally thought you didn't have a home and it turns out you own a castle? Jeez!"

"I don't own a castle. The castle was built for me." He says so matter of factly that makes her roll her eyes at him. She knows this is not a humble-brag but it's still ridiculous.

"Please shut up before I throw you off the balcony." She threatens jokingly, before realizing she doesn't know if he can fly or if he's completely indestructible, so she spends time asking him questions about what it actually means to be a god. She can tell he's struggling to be objective and not be so blatant about how much he hates the whole ordeal, which is something she appreciates.

If he could, she thinks, he probably would give up everything about being a god and would be happy and content to be human. She doesn't want to sound conceited, but her heart tells him that, most likely, yeah, he'd do that.

Before they leave, she takes her time and asks him one last question or, well, questions.

"Why did you find my mother? Or rather, what took you so long? Didn't you know from the very beginning who she was?" Her original question was the first one but as she says them she realizes it's not as simple as she thought, because both of them are gods so… He must've known from the start of their relationship, no?

"I actually didn't find your mother, someone else did and I'm not telling you who they are because they deserve the chance to reveal themselves whenever they decide to." He explains and it sounds rather cryptic, which is something she's not used to when it comes to Luke but accepts it, because she can understand him respecting other's privacy. "The truth is I didn't know Rose is Demeter. I found out because this person told me. When you said your mother was dead, I decided not to get involved and I had no reason to think she was a goddess, you know? I also don't attend or pay that much attention to other gods outside the ones that are here…" He takes a breather, and she knows it's because he's going to answer the important part of the question. "As for why I reunited you two; I won't deny that part of the reason why I sought your mother out is completely selfish, I did break up with you because you're human or at least I thought so, but this new information changed everything Julie. So yeah, I looked for her partly because of that but also because … Julie it changes everything!"

He doesn't scream, but the emphasis he puts in his words is very telling, and he's right: her whole life has been turned upside down. He steps closer to her and cups her face with his hands, which makes her feel incredibly vulnerable, because he might as well be holding her heart, her feelings, her whole life in those immortal hands. She also feels relief because she trusts him with those things. Despite everything she trusts, he will not break her heart again, not now that she knows the truth and there's no more barriers between them.

"Julie, you deserve to know who you really are. You deserve to have all the information and make your choices and live your life the way you absolutely want to, but you need to know everything first. That's why I went to see your mother and begged for her to come with me, because I…" She thinks he's going to confess his love for her, but he seems to change his mind at the last second. "I went to see Rose because I wanted you to have your mother back. You deserve the world, Julie and that's why I brought your mother to you."

She looks at him and notices how close they are to each other, so she can't help but to think that she might kiss him, something he seems to think as well because his eyes flicker briefly to her lips. She could do it, kiss him right now and seal the past goodbye and start a new chapter for them both.

She leans in…

And at the last second, she decides otherwise, so instead of kissing him she just demands to be taken back to her store. Luke flushes bright red and croaks out a "Yes, boss!" before starting to walk downstairs at the same time he rubs the back of his neck.

She's going to kiss him okay? But she thinks maybe she'll make him wait for a little while.

The day after she tours the Underworld, she receives a message from Flynn. Much to Julie's surprise, her friend invites her to go back to the Underworld.

(Should she really be surprised at this point? Probably not.)

For the most part, the trip to the Underworld is similar to the one she took with Luke, just that instead of going to his castle, they end up in a secluded part of it, one that Luke didn't take her to. He simply pointed to it and said: "That's Hecate's place". Which means that Flynn is Hecate and the three obnoxious classmates who gave her that nickname were probably Luke, Alex and Reggie.

(That's something that doesn't surprise her in the least.)

"Luke let me know he didn't reveal my identity to you, which is something that I thank him for, because I want to tell you my story." That's the first thing her friend says once Julie is settled into Flynn's gigantic living room. "My name is Hecate, by the way. I'm the goddess of boundaries, crossroads, witchcraft, and ghosts. I'm a very powerful goddess and I should be the one running this place, not that boyfriend of yours."

For a second, Julie is too stunned by her words. Not because of her real identity, because she had already guessed that, but by the bluntness in which she says she's the one who should be in charge of the Underworld and not Luke. She's so stunned she can't even correct her and say Luke is not really her boyfriend, which is probably for the best, because she's not sure she believes her own bullshit.

"Okay…?"

"I get that the statement seems to come out of nowhere but stay with me for a minute please." Flynn asks and Julie simply nods, because what else is she supposed to do? Get up and leave? No, she needs to listen, she needs to understand whatever it is that her friend has to tell her. "I have always loved it down here. I thrive in this place, despite how odd it might seem, but this is where I am the happiest and I thought that since Luke is the ruler of this place, he would also love it. However, soon enough, it became obvious we didn't share my love for this place. He has never concealed how much he hates it and how little effort he's willing to put in while performing his duties. I'm not going to lie to you Julie. I think Luke is a terrible ruler, which is something he actually agrees on, so he respects me and lets me have autonomy. I appreciate that, but I would appreciate it more if this place was run by someone who really cared for it."

Julie understands that, after all, Luke has made it very clear that he does not like the idea of being King and taking care of the Underworld. But she still doesn't understand why Flynn is telling her all this.

"A few months ago, he came back from your world, and he didn't shut up about a beautiful girl and how excited he was because she was amazing, and he couldn't wait for his date. He went on that date and I thought that was the end of his endless musings about this girl, but he kept going on dates and, instead of shutting up, he talked even more. Somehow, you made him become even more annoying than he already was." Julie cannot conceal her blush, because Flynn's recounting of Luke's behavior during the early days of their relationship makes her feel all gooey inside. "Ugh, you have that lovesick smile on you even when I'm telling you he's annoying! Anyways, I'm telling you this because all his talking about you made me realize that if he was busy spending his time with you, then I could take over this place, so I decided…"

Her friend stops, but Julie can see where this is going, and she doesn't necessarily like it.

"I wanted to use you. I'm not proud of that statement, but it's the truth, that was my plan: befriend you and push you so that you would consume all of Luke's time. That way I could run this place just the way I wanted, but even before I attempted that I met you and I kind of understood what Luke was blabbering about every night he came back from your dates."

That's when Julie goes back to feeling a little lost because she's unsure about what her friend is talking about. Her face must reflect what she's thinking because Flynn smiles knowingly and rests her hand on top of hers before explaining herself.

"Julie, you say Luke is dramatic and exaggerates when talking about you, but when I stepped into your store, and we talked, I realized he was right. You are great, greater than great. Yeah, I might not know other humans and you're my only point of reference, but you're amazing Julie and I knew you for what, like, three seconds before realizing I wouldn't be able to go through with my plan. I couldn't believe how someone like you could fall for an idiot like him, but I also didn't understand why you befriended me either." Flynn is being incredibly open and honest with her, not that she wasn't before, but, understandably, this is a new level.

Julie can pretend to be mad at her friend because the only reason why they even know each other is because of a stupid plan to rule the Underworld, but she doesn't really have it in her to be mad. She's learned so much in the past few days, not only about her mother, Luke and Flynn; she's also learned about herself and how apparently she's capable of never ending awe, but also how she's capable of forgiving the people she loves.

"I befriended you because I thought you were very cool, and I was flattered you wanted to hang out with me. Now I definitely know you are very cool and I still want to hang with you." Explains Julie, looking at her friend with a smile on her face.

She might still not know much about this side of life that has just been revealed to her, but she knows love, and she knows she cares deeply for Flynn, for Luke, for her mother. She knows she wouldn't like to live a life where she has pushed them away, and she knows that if the roles were reversed, she would be fighting with everything to keep them by her side.

Which is what she decides to do.

After several long conversations with her mother, they had decided it was time to let Ray know the truth about everything.

While making the decision was very easy, the how and the details were not as easy to agree on because, how do you tell someone the love of their live is an immortal being that had to fake their death? Yeah, Julie thinks literally anything else would be easier at this point, but her dad deserves to know. He deserves a second chance with her mom.

They decide that the best would be to break the news when he's at home, so he's relaxed and in a familiar environment. Julie would go with the excuse of having a father-daughter dinner and ease him into the revelation. That's when Rose would appear and hopefully Ray will be excited about having her back, so excited he would not ask questions or anything like that.

(Julie thinks it's nice to have hope, but in this case, hoping for no explanations it's a bit of a stretch.)

Mother and daughter arrive at the house and Julie instructs Rose to wait in the garage, something her mother is happy to do, mostly because she gets to see the place for the first time in a long time. Julie prepared her mother with a phone, so she's going to text her when it's time to go inside. She gives her a hug that could probably hurt if she were human, but Julie's happy she can hold on tight and not worry about hurting her because the truth is she's terrified, she doesn't have the faintest clue as to how this is going to go. She just has to hope for the best. Her parents deserve a happy ending, after all.

"Mija! How lovely it is to see you." Ray greets her with a hug and, although she can't see him, she can feel he's looking for someone.

"Luke didn't come dad, I told you it was a family dinner." Says Julie, kissing her father's cheek before giving him flowers for the house.

"Sorry, I just assumed he's family now." Julie's quite surprised by her dad's answer. She knew her dad would approve of anyone she dated as long as they were respectful and made her happy, but the way he simply made Luke a part of their little family after just one meeting makes her feel warm inside. Her dad's approval means the world to her, and she knows it means a lot to Luke as well. It's nice to know he supports her relationship. "Anyways, how are you? How's the shop?"

Julie doesn't immediately jump in on telling her dad about why she's really there, instead she chooses to keep the small talk going and simply catch up with each other as they finish cooking dinner and set up the table. For a second, she's tempted to add a plate for her mother, but she decides against it, opting to do what she came to do.

"Dad? Remember when last time I was here we talked about mom?" Ray nods easily but she can see him tense a little bit, and she knows it's because her comment is once again, seemingly coming out of the blue. "I kept thinking about our conversation, you know with her anniversary coming in a month I have been thinking about her…" She stops, unsure of how to continue, but her dad takes the opportunity to talk.

"Mija, I know it's hard, especially with her anniversary coming soon, but I think it's best if we continue to hold onto the good memories. Our last conversation wasn't a happy one and I just want you to let that go and focus on something that doesn't hurt as much." She loves her father, especially now when, even if he's not even aware of what's happening, he still manages to console her and be there for her.

"Okay, but just humor me here: if you had the chance to see mom again, would you take the opportunity?"

Her dad doesn't even blink when asked, doesn't even hesitate: "Of course I would. Every day I wish I had the opportunity

She doesn't waste time on sending a message, instead she decides to stand up from the table before taking his hand and practically forcing him to follow her. "Mija, what are you doing? Where are we going?"

She doesn't answer because, well, there's no point to it when they are already halfway to the garage, so she just walks a little faster, until she can see her mother's back. That's when she stops and turns around to look at her poor father, who doesn't have a clue as to what's going on.

They are within Rose's earshot but not close enough so that Ray can see her, especially when she positioned herself to cover his view of the garage.

"Dad, if you could see mom again, what would you tell her?"

"Julie, mija, you're making me worry. What's all of this about your mother and why did we leave our dinner?"

"Dad, please just humor me. I swear it will make sense." She doesn't even have to plead or beg because her father simply caves at her.

"Fine, but then we get back to our dinner." Julie smiles because she knows that won't happen but nods anyway. "If I could see your mother again, I guess I would tell her that I love her. I would try to tell her everything I could about what has happened since she left us but…" He sighs, eyes full of tears. Julie feels awful for putting him through this, but she hopes everything turns alright. "Julie, I guess if I could see your mother I wouldn't waste my time telling her stuff. I would be trying to hold on to her for dear life, because sometimes I swear I have no idea how I'm able to live without her. Can we go back now?"

She steps aside, hoping her mother heard all of that, and she's pleased to see that Rose has indeed turned around and is looking at Ray with the utter most adoration face she's ever seen.

(It's the same look that made her realize Luke was in the audience, all those months ago. It's the same look that ended up turning her life upside down.)

"I would love to hear what's happened all these years we've been apart Ray." Says Rose, walking towards her partner, who looks as if he's just looking at a ghost. "I would also cling to you for dear life, but I promise you nothing will ever set us apart again." Rose stops when she's close. Julie can see she wants to jump and hug him. She can also see her hesitancy because Ray seems to have been frozen by her words.

"Julie, what's going on?" Her father's voice breaks because all the tears that were in his eyes now roam free through his face. She can tell he's scared, she can tell he's very unsure of what's going on. She can also tell all he needs is a little push in the right direction.

"It's mom, dad. She's back."

"I'm back Ray and I mean it. Nothing will tear us apart again." Her dad doesn't wait another minute and simply hugs Rose, who hugs him back.

She knows this is just the beginning and there's a lot to explain, but when she joins the hug and, for the first time in thirteen years, she's sandwiched between her parents, she thinks she can hold on to hope, because things will be alright.