So, hey. This is more of an A\N than an epilogue, but fuck it. Oh, by the way, I don't really know how to explain this but let's say I'm talking about Chapter 9. Take out the prologue and then count the chapters, and then you'll find the Chapter 9 that I'm talking about. Just saying this because if you count the prologue as a 'chapter', you'll think that Chapter 8 is actually Chapter 9.

To start, I know the ending must've been devastating for you guys. Everyone dying, no happy ending, despair taking over. Namjoon's plan went perfect! As expected from a witty, intelligent man. There were going to be different endings to this, though.

1. Yoongi lives, and he lied about his death. The story would've ended with Yoongi sitting in his hospital bed, celebrating as he watched the TV talk about Namjoon being caught. Hoseok and Jungkook have a good ending, but Hoseok doesn't find out that Jungkook killed Jimin until the second book, where they start their journey to rebuild their relationship and lives.

2. This ending is similar to 1, but Hoseok finds out the Jungkook killed Jimin. This ending could've went two ways. One, Jungkook murders Hoseok. Two, Jungkook traps Hoseok in the house, and there would've been a 2nd book about escape, hope, and restarting.

3. Namjoon gets caught for killing both Seokjin and Yoongi. The plan would've been that Yoongi was very close to finding out that Namjoon was the killer, and in turn he gets murdered. Namjoon gets caught pretty easily after this, as it was a sloppy murder.

There was going to be a second book, but I fell out of the BTS fandom, and I didn't want to write another book about BTS. There were many ideas for the second book. For one, there was going to be some sort of kidnapping. Basically, Namjoon would escape from jail and kidnap them, and they had to escape and stuff. I don't know. Yoongi would be saving them, and then some epic fight\dialogue scene would happen.

Book 2's story plan:

ch 1: not done

- shows how jungkook and hoseok are living

- they are coping pretty okay but sometimes they are sad

- namjoon jail moment

- ends "and this is just the beginning"

- basically a prologue but shh

ch 2:

- they meet namjoon in jail

- bad bad bad

- when they get home sad sad sad

-huge memory moment

-ends on them hugging each other sad

ch 3:

- yoongi decides to come out the hospital

- he gets lost and kidnapped on the way

- ends with them finding out

ch 4:

- namjoon gets the news and smiles [he set it up]

- jk and hs devise a plan to save him

- they do it and save yoongi

- happy

I have no idea what this is about but I mean it seems like an okay story plot plan.

I remember a vague idea where there were going to be 3 books. This one would've been called despair, the second would've been called memory and the third one hope. There weren't really any ideas for the third book, but it was going to be Hoseok's journey after everything that happened.

There were also many different ideas. There were originally going to be 15 chapters, with the last two being an actual written trial. In my old notes, there was going to be "17? or 18" chapters. Crazy stuff. I trashed the idea because I was losing motivation to finish this book, and also because I was falling out of the BTS fandom. I decided to shorten it to 10 chapters, instead. This is why Chapter 9 is the longest chapter to date. I needed to fit a lot of things in the last 2 chapters, to finish it off. Oh, by the way. Did you notice that the beginning letter of each chapter spelt out "Kim Namjoon" [Except the prologue and epilogue]? Adding the prologue's words together and this epilogue would make this: It's Kim Namjoon!

Also I don't know if I portrayed their reactions to dead bodies well... if I could change anything I would change Yoongi's reaction.

I'm going to be talking about some of the ideas in my old, old notes, from July 2020.

There was an idea where everyone would think Jimin was murdered and therefore derailed Seokjin's investigation, but I scrapped the idea mainly because it would just be filler, and I wanted character development. Also because I just didn't like the idea. Plus, I already used it for Taehyung, so using it for Jimin would be the exact same plot.

Jungkook was originally going to be the one to uncover Namjoon's actions, but after some thinking I decided not to do that. It would just defeat the point of all the investigation that Hoseok did, and plus, even if the idea of "the person who got manipulated by the murderer finally figures out that they're not so innocent" sounded great, I wanted Hoseok to have everyone against him.

Hoseok was originally going to live, but then everything that happened in Chapter 10 [and before] wouldn't have affected Hoseok somehow. I decided that everyone would die close to finishing Chapter 9. I wanted everyone's outcome to affect Hoseok greatly, and in turn I had to change the ending so that Hoseok died in the end. Character development at its finest.

Speaking of character development, I think that the people with the least character development were Seokjin and Taehyung. Seokjin literally died in the first chapter, and Taehyung was just an angry mess for 5 chapters. But it was for the better. Killing off Taehyung gave Jimin huge character development, which in turn also gave Jungkook character development, in addition to making Hoseok think that he was the cause of Taehyung's death. It was also one of the only times Namjoon truly felt sad, since he didn't expect Taehyung to commit suicide. Killing off Seokjin gave Hoseok, Yoongi, and Namjoon character development. So yeah.

Killing off Jimin is probably one of my least favourite ideas in the story. Not because I like Jimin a lot, but because it was probably one of the most filler-ish things ever, and contributed almost nothing to the plot. That, and the fact that Seokjin died first. They literally felt sad for 2 chapters, and then only focused on the investigation [Yoongi's fault, technically.] instead of feelings. Oh, by the way, I only chose Seokjin because I was thinking of which BTS member I could write about the least. By that I mean personality and character wise. Seokjin came to mind, and so I killed him off. Sorry, Seokjin fans.

I wanted there to be angst in this story, and to be honest I don't think that I portrayed it well in this story. This was my first fully completed book, as I had only written one-shots and cringy unfinished books back then. Originally, I had a 3,000 word limit to my stories, but as soon as I established it I immediately scrapped the idea, as some chapters barely reached it and some chapters went way over the limit. Chapter 3 is the shortest chapter to date, at 2,750 words. It's also one of the most filler-ish chapters, with Chapter 6 coming second. Those are my least favourite chapters, in my opinion. My favourite is Chapter 9, as it has the right amount of shock, horror, and manipulation all in one chapter.

Oh, by the way. If you're asking why Namjoon was so obsessed with getting attention and loved that the people were 'helpless' without him, it's because of his trauma. You know how he didn't get much attention as a kid? Yeah, self explanatory. He lied to everyone about his feelings because he simply didn't want people to think that he was weird, and he didn't want the 'bad' attention.

Am I happy with the ending? I don't know. It was a good chapter, but the ending is kinda... rushed. I kinda wanted to show how everyone's death and result affected Hoseok, but I don't know. Anyways, I've finally finished the book, and I'm happy with everything. How did you feel about this book? Also, do you have any questions about anything that happened?

Thank you, viewer, for reading this fanfiction.

Hope Vs. Despair

Status: Finished [7\7\20 - 2\15\20. 223 days!]

Chapters: "12" [Technically 10, not counting the prologue and this epilogue]