Tris awoke that night several times before she decided enough was enough. She pulled on her boots and crept out of the room as if she still had to worry about waking her fellow initiates, though she had been sleeping in her own apartment for weeks now.
Some habits stuck with her after months of training.
She felt odd.
Her pulse was racing at rest. Her heart pounded against her rib cage. She was more anxious than she'd ever been, and she knew the cause.
Eric. Or, more honestly, Eric's lips. They were all she could think of as she lay to rest and sleep just wouldn't come to give her a reprieve from her obsessive thoughts.
One out into the open hallway, Tris didn't try as hard to keep silent. Her untied boots scuffed against the floor with each step towards her destination.
The roof. It had become her haven with so many restless nights upon her. It was a place where she could be alone, without accusatory eyes watching her every move.
Wasn't it just her luck that the best place to achieve calm and solitude was already occupied?
Her heart pounded harder as she recognized his form, for she would recognize him anywhere. They had spent far too much time together, too much time on the mats, learning each other's bodies.
And she felt utterly exposed in front of him now, more than all the times he had her pinned underneath him. Not expecting to run into anyone, she hadn't grabbed a robe and now stood in front of him in only her silky pajama shorts, a tee shirt and her combat boots. Her hair flowed freely, blowing lightly in the wind. Goosebumps prickled on her exposed legs.
"Stiff," Eric sounded genuinely surprised to see her. And why not, it was close to three in the morning.
A cigarette rested between his lips, drawing her full attention.
It wasn't fair for a man to have such beautiful lips, she mused ruefully. No wonder she was so flustered after a simple kiss. He was the perfect male specimen with his wide, full lips- and the rest of him so cut and firm. He was a suitable enough candidate for a young girls' lust.
She watched, mesmerized, as he blew a cloud of smoke from between his lips as he stared right back at her.
"I couldn't sleep," Tris admitted, not sure why she offered this information. He hadn't asked and she knew his disdain for small talk.
"Sit," he offered, patting the concrete wall that served as his seat. He was tall enough that his boots crunched gravel beneath them, but Tris found that her legs dangled when she took her seat next to him.
"I didn't think anyone would be up here," she said in hushed tones, looking down at her feet.
"Obviously. You wouldn't have come up here if you knew I was here."
Somewhat in a daze, Tris looked up slowly, just in tine to watch Eric take another drag from his cigarette with those perfectly formed lips of his. She had never found smoking attractive before, but she was willing to bet that Eric could make a lot of things look attractive.
"So," he began. "A sudden bout of insomnia?"
"Something like that."
Coming back to herself a little, Tris flushed lightly.
He knew, she thought, though there was really no way that he could know for sure what was troubling her.
Their kiss had been brief. But what was supposed to be a simple apology had turned out to be much more and Tris couldn't stop herself from gazing at the young leader in wonder. True, she had never tried to kiss anyone else before and she had no basis for comparison, but she had felt the sparks, the electricity of his mouth against hers. She had felt need.
"Why are you up here?" Tris asked finally, to distract herself from her burning cheeks. Lucky it was dark. He wouldn't have been able to see her flush in the darkness.
"Just felt like having a smoke." He responded so casually that Tris was suddenly sure he was lying. Or at least, there was more to it.
"It's the middle of the night," she reminded him gently, with a playful elbow to his side.
He didn't smile, but he didn't scowl either.
"So maybe I couldn't sleep either."
"Too much on your mind?" She asked boldly.
She saw Eric's eyes flicker down towards her lips and she swallowed hard.
"Being a leader does have its drawbacks," he replied non committedly, though she thought she heard a trace of hesitation in his tone as if he weren't sure if that was the correct response.
He was still staring at her mouth and Tris was beginning to feel self conscious by the time he flicked his cigarette butt off the roof. He made no attempt to hide the way he watched her, though his eyes were as cold and steely as ever.
"Something on my face?" She asked with a nervous laugh. His eyes met hers briefly, but darted right back to her lips. Suddenly he stood, brushing a bit of ash from his pants.
"Say I wanted to kiss you again." Her breath caught in her throat, surprised by his forwardness. "Would I get hit for my trouble?"
"No," she managed, grateful that her voice was steady. "I wouldn't hit you."
"Good."
His mouth was on hers in an instant and Tris let out a tiny squeak in shock. She had been totally unprepared for the assault, even with the warning he had given her. For a moment she thought she was going to break her word to Eric not to hit him, though out of surprise rather than indignation.
She quickly stopped fighting as Eric brought his hands up, holding both sides of her face in his hands, drawing her closer as his tongue slid across her bottom lip.
She was instantly lost in the moment, and thankful for it because such an event was unprecedented and she had no idea what to do besides part her mouth for his tongue. She had seen the Dauntless making out like this in the Pit, but never had she thought to experience it for herself.
She allowed his tongue to glide across her own, allowed him to set the pace. It was slow and tantalizing and set her on edge. She was in wonder from the feel of it all, his hands, his lips, his tongue. He tasted strongly of the cigarette he'd just smoked, but it was no deterrent to Tris, who just wanted him as close as possible.
She sighed with pleasure, fisting his short hair in one of her hands for just a moment before she caught herself.
"I'm sorry," she gasped, pulling away from his lips. His eyes weren't cold anymore. They were full of fire and... hungry.
He smirked at her, bending low to put his lips on her ear.
"Do it again," he whispered. Tris felt every movement of his lips on her skin as he spoke and she shuddered.
Out of some instinct that was buried beneath her Abnegation teachings, Tris pulled his hair again, bringing him to stand between her legs where his body sinfully pressed against her own.
His lips were then on her throat then, kissing a line down to her collarbone.
"Eric," she sighed, digging her nails into his shoulder. His hands were on the move, sliding down her sides until they came to rest on her hips. He paused in his ministrations, leaving Tris to wiggle beneath him.
"I'd have you now, if I could."
Tris was surprised by how breathless he sounded, but realized a moment later that she had bigger things to worry about. Her face blanched as she realized his meaning, never once thinking of where their actions would lead.
She suddenly felt very stupid and naïve and could hardly bear to meet his eyes.
They were still full of lust, but hardening as if he was slowly coming to the realization that he would find no relief for his hormones tonight.
Their position was precarious, him in between her legs, hands on her hips to pull their bodies even closer. Her hands still on his shoulders, though no longer searching for bare skin. Their faces were still inches apart when Tris whispered her apologies.
"Oh. Eric, I'm sorry."
"No apology is necessary," he snapped, stepping back from her, leaving Tris unbearably cold without his body heat. "I saw your fear landscape, remember? I'd have to be Number Boy if I ever wanted to get you naked."
She recoiled as if he'd slapped her.
"You have no idea what you're talking about," she hissed, crossing her arms over her chest. She felt more exposed than ever and wished she would have gotten fully dressed before leaving her apartment.
"Don't I?" he asked coldly, all trace of his warmth gone. "You're going to lie to my face and tell me that you wouldn't drop your panties for Four if he was here instead of me?
"I wouldn't!" she insisted, face burning so red she wouldn't doubt that Eric could see in the dark.
He bent low to whisper in her ear again, lips brushing against her skin softly, as if they weren't arguing, as if they were truly lovers.
"Keep telling yourself that."