Meals on the surface were something Johanna had strongly come to dislike. After years of her diet being restricted to vegetables and protein supplements, the whole idea of eating mutated animals was disturbing. Even the vegetables, grown in irradiated soil, prompted her to pop some Rad Away after meals. It was no wonder so many ghouls infested the Commonwealth, with its people on a diet like that.
These people were eating mole rats.
Unlike in the vault, sources of protein were common, and necessary, to survive. That didn't mean she had to like it. She looked around to the soldiers in the mess hall and supressed a frown. They seemed happy enough with the menu, but Johanna kept seeing beady little eyes in the back of her mind when she looked down at the charred mole rat meat on her plate. With a side of 200 year old InstaMash.
It was a relief when Haylen took the seat next to her and Johanna was able to tear her eyes away from her plate. She did not have a plate of her own, but held a folder of notes to her chest. Work, that's all Haylen ever seemed to do. She looked happy as always, but offered her brightest smile, the one she usually reserved for Rhys.
"Congratulations. Scribe Polowski."
"Thank you." Johanna smiled a tiny bit. Only Danse had congratulated her on the promotion so far. He had known already and offered her a smile and a salute when they reunited after her meeting with the Elder. It was official. She had become a part of the Brotherhood of Steel.
"Danse said we're stuck here for a while," Haylen didn't look upset at the prospect of being stuck on the ship at all. The entire team had been out doing recon for too long, she had said at the police station. Too long without access to running water and real beds. "I wanted to see what your plans were for this afternoon."
"I have three sets of technical documents to read and summarize for Proctor Quinlan," Johanna replied, thinking of the stack of papers in her new, Brotherhood issued backpack. It was tremendously easier to carry than the duffel bag she had taken from the vault. Haylen's face fell and Jo couldn't help but to sigh inwardly. "But I can do that tonight."
"That's great because I wanted to talk to you about Vault 75." Now, it was Johanna's turn to feel disappointed, but she didn't let it show. She had promised her knowledge of Vault 75 to Haylen, but never looked forward to these... interviews. Maxson's word seemed appropriate. It wasn't that Jo didn't want to talk about her life, but it always made Haylen uncomfortable. "I thought of some questions last night," Haylen continued "and I'm just dying to ask you."
"Can we go to the workshop? It's quieter there."
"Of course, Polowski. I'll follow you when you've finished eating."
"Oh, I'm finished," Johanna assured her, clearing her plate from the table. She had managed a few bites of InstaMash, but the radiation was killer on her appetite. The hunk of rat meat lay untouched.
It was only her second day aboard the Prydwen and Johanna was making note of people and places to avoid.
In theory, the upper deck devoted to scientific studies should have been her safe haven. She hated it. Specifically, she hated the people. The scribes were no more welcoming than the knights had been, maybe a couple were even more openly hostile. So far the workshop was the only place Jo felt comfortable. It didn't hold the same allure as the science deck, but it was the middle of the day and both places were sure to be busy. To be completely honest, Jo preferred Ingram over Neriah any day. And of course, it was bound to be quieter without scribes rushing around to stay out of Neriah's way.
Head Scribe Neriah was Johanna's new Overseer, in some respects. She delegated duties to lesser scribes so that Proctor Quinlan could concentrate more on his work, whatever that was. The Order of the Quill didn't have as many members as Jo would have thought. She guessed that most Initiates wanted to become Knights because scribe work was too dull for them. Johanna supposed that she was sorted properly because it sounded exciting to her. To research technology. Acquire it. Learn about it. Spend hours engrossed in 200 year old documents to learn about recovered tech and understand how it works. And use that information to create something useful to humankind. And this was Neriah's passion.
Johanna didn't dislike the woman, she could understand being in the middle of an experiment and a possible scientific discovery. There had been several times in the vault where she had went without sleep or food, just to find out out if her new hypothesis was correct. Johanna saw this devotion when she first laid eyes on the woman and smiled widely. Until the Head Scribe opened her mouth to speak.
"What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be in here." Neriah eyed Johanna's blue jumpsuit with distaste.
"Proctor Quinlan sent me," Jo said softly, lacking the confidence to explain further.
"Well you can just wander on back to where you came from because my team doesn't need a vault dweller getting in their way."
She had run away with her metaphorical tail between her legs.
Yes, the workshop was the only safe place this time of day. The decks would be empty later, so that she could get some fresh air, but not until the moon was high.
Haylen tried to start with simple questions, something to get Johanna to open up about her experiences.
"How many children were in Vault 75 with you?"
"This generation began with twenty-three. I was the eldest of the remaining eleven." She saw Haylen's eyes widen in shock and swiftly reached out to catch the screwdriver that slipped from her fingers.
"Thanks, I needed that," she muttered, correcting her grip on the tool. The workshop offered the tools and tiny screws that she needed to repair her hunting rifle. She was taking advantage of the opportunity while giving Haylen her interview.
"How... how did they die?"
"Usually from training excersises. Sometimes genetic abnormalities." Johanna turned back to the work table, not speaking her suspicions that the scientists killed them purposely, even if it was indirectly. It was almost fact. There was no plausible reason for the mortality rate to be so high in a controlled environment.
"I'm sorry," Haylen said, smoothing a wrinkle on her jumpsuit. She was uncomfortable again, but trying to regain her focus. "I have a list of questions, but every time you answer one I think of ten more..."
"It's fine," Johanna shrugged, showing her indifference. "I don't mind, really."
"Do you think the children were content? Did everyone believe they were training to protect the people above ground?"
"Yes. I mean, I think they did. It was a constant competition to stay at the top of the leader boards. And it looked to me like they enjoyed it. Some of the boys would brag about how many mutations they were going to kill Uptop."
Jo could only speak for her generation, as she never had access to thorough records. The Overseer's terminal only contained a basic abstract of the experimentation. Detailed records of past generations were surely kept in the science department, completely separate from the living quarters where she spent her years. The only entrance to the science wing was under tight security. Jo noticed the armed guards and password keycards at a young age, but she had always assumed the area was an archive of sorts. It took her sixteen years to find the courage to question those details and two more to find the right conditions to act upon the thoughts that came with it.
Nobody saw it coming. She broke into the Overseer's office one night when the halls were abandoned. Guessed the the password to his terminal in thirty seconds and spent the next twenty minutes discovering that her whole life was a lie. Already furious from reading the experimental abstract, Johanna was nauseated when she opened the email concerning her. Non-confrontational. No close bonds with the other subjects. Low scores for physical testing, but high intelligence. A perfect candidate for the science department. She hadn't even thought of it, she'd just bolted and then run into those two unlucky security guards.
Thinking back on it now, Johanna wondered what would have happened if she'd just waited for Administration to approach her. They would have withheld information about the fate of her classmates, the email admitted as much. She wouldn't have known their fate for after graduation until the next cycle began. She probably would have accepted the position. And afterwards? Would she have cared about the fate of test tube babies that she would never meet? The answer should have been yes, no doubt about it. But Johanna was not stupid. She wouldn't have said a word because they would have killed her. Did any of the others feel the same? Were they tricked into accepting the depravity of Vault-Tec as being normal?
"You okay, Polowski?" Haylen asked her. Johanna noticed she had been staring vacantly at the work table.
"Fine. Just thinking. What would have happened if I never found out." Jo realized she said the wrong thing again when Haylen suddenly pulled her into a tight hug.
"You got out, that's what matters." Haylen misunderstood, but Jo didn't correct her. She had a feeling it would only make things worse, since Haylen couldn't understand how close she had come to joining the science team. She wouldn't have been making a choice between life or death. But life or letting her humanity die.
It was then she decided that she was going to do this properly. She was going to devote all of her effort towards becoming a Brotherhood Scribe. She wouldn't let herself become useless, like she had been in the vault. Easily manipulated, even easier to replace. Jo was going to be the best damn Scribe she could be, and to hell with what everyone else thought.
"Yeah," Johanna grinned. "I'm glad things turned out like this." And honestly she was. The Commonwealth left her with culture shock after living in the blissful ignorance of Vault 75. It was rough living outside, for sure. Despite this, Jo knew she was better off. She knew it when she first she saw the look of horror on Haylen's face during that first line of questioning, the disapproval of the others when they overheard. It made he sick to her stomach now, thinking about the upcoming Graduation. Everyone she knew was going to be killed. The thought hit her like a blow to the gut. It was such a waste, Johanna had been training all their lives to help everyone Uptop, and many of them had the abilities to do so. Golden Boy Joseph and his posse of Superiors could probably take out a whole nest of super mutants by themselves. The Brotherhood would have been happy to take them in, Jo was sure of it.
"I had another question, I've been really curious about the water purification system."
She pushed her darker thoughts to the back of her mind and told Haylen of the Vault's setup, for she had worked on it many times after befriending the maintenance workers. They spent nearly half an hour in comfortable conversation, which was a first for Johanna. She liked the feeling. She felt lighter, it was easier to breathe. Johanna reminded herself to seek out Haylen more often. If she was going through with joining the Brotherhood, a friend might be nice.
AN: I had to remind myself to stay focused. I'm imagining Vault 75 as sort of a mini Hunger Games. I didn't realize that at first, but it makes sense. To me. They trained the vault dwellers to be strong and intelligent, like the Careers. Except in Vault 75, the odds are never in your favor. Please, someone run with this cross-over. :P
I wanted to say thank you to the kind people that reviewed and helped me to remember that just because I've got all this straight in my head, doesn't mean everyone else does. I'm sorry and I'll try to be more considerate in future chapters! All of you helped me, whether you're helping me to correct my mistakes, calming my anxiety or blowing up my ego. I've got a lot of ideas to come! I was so happy to be able to be writing again I guess I forgot how many stories are left unfinished so I can't blame any of you for not sticking with me just yet. I think most of this chapter is dialogue, which is something I wanted to work on more since I am socially retarded. I also made an effort to shorten the length. Any thoughts on these subjects or anything else? Scribe Neriah is probably out of character. Her gameplay dialogue didn't stick in my head too well, so I've created a new personality for her that works better for me. I'm allowed, right? ;)