Thanks for reading, sorry about the double post. I fixed it!
xxx
Tight lipped as she was, Jo still found it difficult not to confide her fears to Murdoch. Not that she normally would have chosen him for a confidante, but he brought up the subject constantly, even taking to joining her for breakfast so that he could question her. He was persistent.
Apparently, he had deduced that it was Danse whom Nora had been speaking of and, of course, came to Johanna for answers.
She had none to give him, not really.
Had she given in and shared the information she did have, he would have thought she was lying to him or thought her crazy.
It was simply too incredible to believe. Impossible, almost.
Though she did have one piece of evidence, she couldn't share it with Murdoch or anyone else. She was bound to secrecy on the holodisk project- the one that detailed the existence of synths.
She twisted around in her bed to get comfortable, but it was no use. She was emotionally and physically exhausted, but wound too tight to sleep for more than a few, broken hours.
Days later, her mind was still racing with obsessive thoughts of Arthur, of Danse and of the Institute. It made her head spin.
It would be easy to believe Nora had simply lost her mind... if not for the holodisk. It was physical proof that the Institute existed, but Johanna had not believed it.
Now she was filled with doubt.
Perhaps the Institute did exist. They would have to be underground, she reasoned. It was highly improbable for a community of scientists to flourish in the wasteland without attracting notice. It wasn't likely, but it was possible.
Yet, if the Institute did exist, then that would mean that their synths were real. That they were living among humans in the Commonwealth. That she might even know one, quite intimately.
That was where she started to second guess herself. The scientist in her had a hard time accepting that concept.
But she had decrypted those files herself, she had read them over the course of weeks and had retained quite a bit of information from that data.
One such file was an updated roster of every synthetic humanoid that belonged to the Institute. It contained thousands of designations, such as A1-02 or C6-97, thousands of machines that claimed to look and function just like a human.
Was her former mentor really somewhere on that list? She couldn't help but to stress over the idea, feel the gnawing guilt that she, in part, was responsible for Danse's discovery.
A part of her wanted to ask Proctor Quinlan, who had taken over the holodisk project, if he'd been the one to sell Danse out, just to see the shock on his face. The logical part of her knew that she would not get her answers that way.
The knight in the bunk below hers let out a loud snore that startled her and she huffed in annoyance. Sleep was so hard to come by now and Johanna felt it was starting to show in her general attitude.
Resigning herself to another night of restless, broken sleep, Jo hopped down from her bunk and found her shoes. She had been spending a good amount of her time on the flight deck because she found it to be a good place to think. She made her way through the Prydwen to her favorite haunt, her own footsteps the only noise in the dawn.
The morning was cool, but Johanna was used to it by now. It didn't even bother her when her skin prickled with gooseflesh. She sat down near her favorite alcove, letting her feet hang over the edge. Usually, she would be wishing for Arthur to come join her, but right now she wasn't sure what she would say to him.
Would he really kill Danse if he proved to be a synth? The Paladin was the most decorated member of the chapter, a true Brotherhood soldier if she'd ever seen one. Surely he had proven his worth.
It didn't make sense.
If Danse was a synth, then he didn't know about his origins, she decided, though with no real logic to back it up. He lived for the Brotherhood. There was no way he was a traitor as Arthur must believe. He was her mentor. Her friend. She was filled with dread at the idea of his death.
When the vertibird appeared in the distance, Jo thought little of it. It wasn't until it was about to dock that she realized the irregularity of the situation. The vertibirds weren't flown at night because of low visibility and it was barely dawn.
She knew it was him. Arthur.
Johanna stood up suddenly, her eyes on the vertibird as the power was cut from the machine. Her ears were ringing in the resulting silence.
She found him easily among the men who exited the vertibird, the lone figure in a leather coat next to towering men in power armor.
Johanna's legs began to tremble as he caught sight of her. His features were unreadable, his eyes hard and posture stiff as he watched her. She knew in that instant that her fears were about to come to fruition. He would give her the answers she needed, though not the ones she wanted to hear.
The small crowd dispersed, leaving Maxson and Johanna to stare each other down in silence, alone on the flight deck.
He came to her first, steps sure and unwavering. Johanna was shocked when he pressed his lips to hers for a deep kiss, but that wasn't why she didn't respond. Arthur pulled away with the taste of her tears on his lips.
"Johanna." He was surprised, confused maybe. He didn't have any idea what troubled her.
Jo choked back the words that were threatening to spill from her lips, accusations, and demands that he tell her the truth about Danse.
"What's wrong? Surely you didn't miss me that much."
"Did you kill him?" It came out as a whisper, but Jo knew Arthur heard her by the way his eyes widened.
He looked at her for a long moment, confusion shaping his brow.
"What do you know?"
"Don't play games," she snapped, losing what little resolve she had to stay calm. "Just tell me. Did you kill him?"
It was the moment of truth. Would Arthur tell her the truth about his mission? Would he confirm her fears or comfort her with lies?
A soldier in power armor stepped out onto the deck, removing his helmet so that he could light a cigarette.
"I suggest we take this somewhere more private."
She couldn't help but to feel like he was dodging the question and her heart sunk just a little more with dread.
She followed him to his chambers, fighting back tears. She had never cried in front of anyone before, unless you counted when Jacob had broken her arm back in the vault. It made her feel more weak than usual. She blamed it on the sleepless nights she had endured and tried to control herself.
Arthur shut the door and turned to her, stoic mask gone. He looked down on her with confusion, bringing his hands up to rest on her shoulders.
"What do you know, Johanna?" He asked again, though softer this time.
"Danse," she croaked his name. "You went to find him. To kill him."
There was a long pause in which Arthur squeezed her shoulders tightly.
He swore suddenly and released her.
"I don't know how you found out, but you must know the truth. He was a traitor to the Brotherhood-"
"No! He wasn't!" Johanna surprised herself by shouting, as red hot anger courses through her veins.
"He was loyal to the Brotherhood, to you."
"He was an abomination of science, and deserved death," Arthur shot back with venom in his voice. "You're just a child, you have no idea what you're talking about." Johanna was taken aback. Arthur had never spoken to her in such a manner and it left her stunned.
"A child?" she cried indignantly. "Is that what you really think of me?"
He threw his hands up, exasperated, and began pacing as Johann let her tears fall.
"You don't know the first thing about my responsibilities as Elder, the responsibility to protect everyone on this ship. I had no choice."
"Because of the Institute?"
"I dont expect you to understand the threat they pose."
"Why, because I'm such a child?"
"Damn it, Johanna. You lived your entire life in a vault," he replied heatedly. "There's no way you could comprehend the dangers of the wasteland. You can't even take care of yourself out here properly."
"I may not be a survivalist, but I'm smart," she told him, wiping away her tears, hopefully for the last time. "I know the Institute has never shown any signs of aggression towards the Brotherhood, or anyone. Their stolen data seemed to indicate they are a peaceful settlement, taking every precaution to remain hidden."
"Your work on that project was and will stay confidential, I know I don't have to remind you to keep your mouth shut about it," he warned.
Johanna laughed softly, though without humor.
"Just tell me, then. Did you kill him?"
"I did what I had to do, Johanna. Just as you must. It's the way of the Brotherhood."
"Listen to yourself," she cried out. "You could justify anything with that logic. You could kill an innocent man-"
"He wasn't a man, Johanna, he was a machine."
"He may not have been human, but he was a man, Arthur. And he deserved so much better."
She strode to the door, suddenly wanting nothing more than to escape, but Arthur grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.
"Johanna, wait."
"No, Arthur. I don't want to hear anymore."
He pulled her back again, grip tightening around her wrist.
"You need to hear the truth," he insisted. "I did what was necessary. To protect everyone on this ship, including you, Johanna. Your safety is so important to me..."
Using his free hand, he touched the side of her face gently. Despite everything, her stomach fluttered and she blushed.
He cupped her cheek and drew forward, pressing his lips to hers once more for a deep, lingering kiss.
Jo pulled away after a few seconds, but Arthur did not stop his assault on her senses. He pressed his lips to her neck then and whispered against her skin.
"How can I make you understand?"
His breath was hot on her skin, though it made her shudder as if she were cold.
"You won't convince me."
Unfortunately, her voice was unsteady and filled with doubt.
"Let me try," he muttered, face still buried in the crook of her neck.
He didn't wait for her to respond, but pinched her skin gently between his teeth, drawing a gasp from her lips. As he soothed the bite with another kiss, Jo felt her resolve waver even further.
"What are you doing?" Her voice was breathy and weak and held a note of panic.
"Let me show you what you mean to me."
He nipped at her earlobe, causing Johanna's eyelids to flutter.
He must have felt the change in her demeanor because he moved back to her lips then, covering them with his own with more force than he had ever used. Their teeth clashed together for a moment before they found a steady rhythm.
Johanna feared her heart was going to explode, it was pounding so hard and fast. Kissing Arthur ignited something deep inside of her, spiking her adrenaline, making her dizzy.
Her hands found their way to his hair, pulling gently on the longer strands on the top of his head. His resulting moan made her knees weak.
"Johanna," he whispered, still so close that Jo could feel every syllable his mouth formed agaist her lips. She looked up at him with lusty eyes, allowing his hands to travel up from her hips to her waist.
Perhaps she would have let him go even farther, had a loud knock not sounded from his door.
"Elder Maxson," someone called from the other side of the door, knocking with slight hesitation.
Annoyance crossed his features, almost too quickly for Jo to catch before he schooled his features into a mask of indifference.
He pressed one more kiss to the corner of her mouth before backing away, leaving Jo to mourn the loss of his warmth.
She stood still as he crossed the room, pulling the door open just enough to speak to the soldier on the other side.
"What is it?" He asked, voice even and unaffected.
"You asked to be informed immediately. Knight Barber has returned."