Chapter 4:
All in all they'd spent a pleasant morning being close, laughing, sharing touches and shy kisses. There were so many smiles, so much laughter, when they were together. Rachel smiled and eased open the door to Ross' apartment only to find him sitting on the sofa and trying to look like he hadn't been waiting for her.
"Your magazine is upside down," she pointed out, moving to hang her coat. He struggled to flip it and she watched his awkward attempts from the corner of her eye. He didn't look at her.
"You're getting home awfully late," he said. His eyes stuck to the magazine, but didn't move the way they did when he was reading.
"I had a date," Rachel smiled, moving from the coatrack to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water.
"Oh, well then you're home early." He sounded happier, and put the magazine down to turn and look at her over the back of the sofa. "What kind of date ends at seven?"
Rachel hid the smirk behind her glass and said, "The kind that started at seven last night." As predicted Ross fell into a fit of sputtering as he tried to act nonchalant.
"Wow, so, so you were too tired to come home, huh?" Hopeful eyes tinged with panic looked at her as he stood and made his way to the opposite side of the counter. "Slept on his sofa?"
She shook her head. "No, I slept in his bed." Another sip of water and then set the glass on the counter with a soft clink as she looked for something to snack on.
"Oh, of course," Ross said, hitting his forehead with his palm. "What kinda guy would make a pregnant woman sleep on the sofa. Of course he gave you the bed."
Rachel rummaged in the refrigerator, letting the silence hang as she pulled out a bag of baby carrots. She wasn't trying to make this hard on him, but she needed a genuine gauge of his reaction here. When she turned back to the counter Ross looked… intense. She put the bag of carrots next to her glass of water and walked around the counter to stand beside him.
"No, Ross. I had a really good date and we both slept in the bed. He even lent me a shirt to sleep in." She didn't try to hide the smile this time. "It was really nice."
"And he didn't mind -" Ross gestured to her stomach and the baby growing in her uterus.
"He's very excited about the baby," she answered honestly.
"Wow," Ross said, finally slumping his weight onto the barstool. "So, so you're gonna see this guy again, huh?"
"Absolutely, I am." Rachel said, reaching forward and grabbing Ross' hand in hers. "Why is this hitting you so hard? You were the one telling me we were best as friends after our "once more" night. Did you think I'd just stop living my life?"
Ross shook his head. "No, it's not that. I-I don't know really. I've always struggled with you being with other men." He shrugged. "Maybe some part of me thought we'd just… fall back into it."
"Fall back into it," Rachel repeated. That made her angry, but she tucked it aside for now. "Ross, honey." She pulled on his hands, urging him to look at her, and she held his gaze as she said, "I am not saying this to hurt you, but it needs to be said. We are never going to be together like that again. I value you as a friend, as father of my child, as a co-parent. But we are bad for each other as a couple, Ross. I know it, you know it, our friends know it, okay?" His big brown eyes looked so sad and Rachel felt her heart twitch a little.
Had she been harboring the same hopes? At one time, yes. But looking back over their years together a pattern emerged and it was pretty obvious they only worked like this. "I'm sorry," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his hand. "I'll move out if you want. I don't want to make this harder on our relationship."
Ross shook his head. "No, don't move out." He paused, taking a deep breath and squeezing her hands. "Not right now. Could you just stay with Monica and Chandler for a few days while I sort myself out."
"I'll call," she said. Rachel smiled weakly, then moved away from Ross, grabbing her water and her snack before heading to the room she was staying in. She closed the door behind her and took a deep breath, eyes watering with emotion. That had been harder than she thought, not to mention the bubbling anger. Fall back into it? Did he think she was just supposed to wait around until he decided he loved her again?
Angrily she snapped off a baby carrot between her teeth and started packing. She needed to call people, ask if she could stay with Monica, tell Joey what happened, but first, it seemed, she needed to cry. So she shoved clothes and sundries into her rolling suitcase and let the tears flow.
She was saying goodbye to something with that speech today. A final goodbye to who they could have been if things had gone differently. Goodbye to a hope that one day he'd be able to grow and take responsibility for what happened and they could mend the rift between them. Rachel was so, so grateful that that rift hadn't cost them everything but it still hurt when she looked down at the blackness it contained.
No, Ross could never be the person she needed in her life. With or without the whole Joey situation, they needed to face that.
Rachel zipped up her bag and slid it off her bed and onto the floor before plopping on the bed herself. For a moment she lay there, looking up at the ceiling, feeling sluggish. One talk sure could take a lot out of her. Especially one with Ross. Finally, she heaved a sigh, sat up, and grabbed her cell phone.
Flipping it open, she sent a quick text to Monica. Having to hit each button several times to get to a letter made it a lot harder to write things out, but if she called she was going to break down, and if she emailed Mon would never see it.
Can I stay at yours for a bit?
Monica, naturally, could text so fast her fingers blurred and the response came quickly.
Of course, what's wrong? What happened? Are you okay? The baby?
So many words. Rachel smiled softly and shook her head. "She writes as fast as she talks."
Fine. Tell you later. Thx.
She closed the phone and tucked it into her purse before wheeling her suitcase out of the bedroom. If Ross was still in the apartment she couldn't see or hear him, so she left without saying goodbye.
The door opened and Monica pulled Rachel inside, taking her bags and pushing them at Chandler. "What happened," she asked. "What did he do? I'll kill him."
"Rachel," Chandler said. "Welcome to our home. I believe you remember my wife - the inquisitor." Monica glared at him and he walked away, taking her bags to the guest room.
Their apartment was familiar and it calmed her as she sat at the table and Monica began putting out snacks and brewing tea. "He didn't do anything." She said finally, Chandler returned to join her at the table. "He was just Ross." She paused again before finally confessing, "I decided it was time for the talk."
Chandler let out a low whistle. "Yikes, you okay?" Rachel sniffled and he handed her the box of tissues.
She smiled a wobbly smile of appreciation and took one. "Fine."
"Wait, what was the talk about," Monica asked. She placed a mug in front of Rachel.
"The Talk," Chandler said. His eyes were trying to say something, but she didn't know what. Monica seemed to.
"Oh," she sat in the chair beside Rachel and wrapped an arm around her. "Oh honey, he didn't kick you out did he? I'll kill him." That made her snicker. Monica was a fiercely loyal friend and she adored her.
"I offered to move out. He asked me to just stay somewhere else for a few days while he figured it out." She shrugged and dabbed at her eyes with the tissue. "I don't know why I'm crying so much."
"Blame the baby," Chandler advised. "That's what I always do."
Monica gave him a look that might have withered another man. "You blame your emotions on your baby?" She asked incredulously.
"Of course not," Chandler replied. "I blame them on Rachel's baby."
That got a laugh out of all of them and Rachel was starting to feel better. The kettle whistled, water ready for tea and Monica squeezed her hand before standing to pour it over something that smelled fruity. "Decaf," she reminded.
"It's herbal," Monica replied. This, this easy friendship, was what Rachel wanted out of her life. No need to walk on eggshells, or explain her needs, or worry about if going on a date would start a whole thing.
Rachel huffed. Actually, remembering how everyone handled Monica and Chandler, her dating Joey might be a whole thing. Well, it was a thing for later. Monica poured tea into her mug, and then served herself and Chandler before sitting back down.
"So you told him it wasn't going to happen, huh?" Monica cradled the mug of tea in her hands and Rachel smiled, shaking her head.
"I told him we are bad for each other when we are in a relationship. Told him I value him as a friend-" Chandler interjected by sucking in through his teeth and making an 'ouch' face. "What?"
"The "I value your friendship" one always hurts," he replied. "It's one of those things that sounds nice, but still makes you feel shitty."
"But it's true," Rachel objected. "Ross and I are good at being friends. And he doesn't want to be with me anyway, he just didn't want to let go of the fantasy." She stopped, looking down at her cup. "I didn't either, for the longest time."
"So what changed?" Monica asked. She took one of the shortbread cookies off a plate on the table and nibbled it. "Why kill the fantasy now?" Blushing, Rachel shrugged. "Wait a minute," Monica scrutinized her with her eyes. "Didn't you say you couldn't do movies last night because you had a date?" Rachel felt her cheeks grow hotter. "Must have been a good date if you had the talk."
"It was a good date," she admitted, smiling stupidly. "But the talk needed to happen either way."
"Tell me everything." Monica turned her chair to face Rachel better as Chandler stood.
"Girl talk," he said. "That's my cue." He bent down to give Monica a kiss and whispered something Rachel couldn't quite hear.
"Of course," Monica replied, and Chandler left the apartment.
"What did he say," Rachel asked.
"He asked me to tell him everything later," Monica laughed. "He should have just stayed, he loves girl-talk. I wonder why he left." She shook her head and waved a dismissive hand. "Never mind, the date?"
Sighing happily, Rachel settled into the chair, took up her mug, and told Monica all about her wonderful mystery date.
Joey started to hear the sound of his doorknob rattling, turning in time to see Chandler come in and close the door gently behind him. "Whatcha doin 007?" he asked grinning.
"Sorry," Chandler said, moving across the room to stand at the kitchen counter. "I didn't want to bother Monica and Rachel. They're across the hall having a talk."
Joey's brow furrowed. He thought she'd gone back to Ross', what was she doing over here an hour later? "Oh girl talk, huh?" he managed. "Beer?"
"Beer," Chandler agreed, pulling two from the fridge and opening one before passing it to Joey. He opened his next, but waited for Joey to sit on the barstool on the other side of the counter before they clinked their drinks, toasting in silence. "Joe," Chandler said carefully, after a minute. "I gotta tell you something."
"Ooookay." Joey sipped his beer. This sounded serious. Man, he'd been having a really really good day.
"Ross kicked Rachel out." Before Chandler had a moment to continue Joey was up and headed for the door.
"I'm gonna kick his ass."
"Joe, sit down," Chandler sighed. "At least let me tell you what happened before you go punch one of your best friends in the face."
Huffing, Joey returned to his stool and took a long swallow of beer. "Fine," he said, gesturing for Chandler to continue.
"Rachel talked with him about how they were never getting back together and… well he took it hard. Asked her to stay with me and Mon for a few days while he sorted himself out." The angry tension eased from Joey's shoulders a bit. "But you know Ross, I'm willing to bet it'll be more than a few days. Maybe even another wife."
They both chuckled but soon Chandler was serious once again. "I gotta tell you something else," he said, sounding worried. Somehow he sounded more worried than he had about the last thing. Joey tentatively nodded his go ahead. "Rachel is seeing some guy," he said carefully. "And I guess it's going well, because she decided to have the talk with Ross because of him."
Joey kept his features still and forced calm though his heat sunk. She hadn't said anything about there being another guy. He drank more beer. "I don't have all the details, Monica is gonna give me a run down later, I just…. I just wanted to give you some time, man. I know you're working through these feelings for her, and I know your revelation didn't go great on Thursday." Chandler shrugged awkwardly.
"No, no. Thanks man. Good looking out." Joey ducked his head, searching the bottom of the bottle of beer for answers, but it was useless. He'd need something stronger. "So do you know anything about this guy or…?"
"Not really," Chandler admitted. "Just that she went out with him last night, and apparently whatever connection she felt with him was enough to have the talk with Ross."
Last night? But she was here all night last night. Oh! His heart sped up and he only just managed to temper the smile. "Wow," he said as nonchalantly as he could manage. "Must have been some date."
"I guess." Chandler put his beer down, not that he'd had much anyway, and rounded the counter to come to Joey's side. He pulled him up for a hug. "I'm sorry, man. I know this sucks."
Face successfully hidden behind Chandler's back Joey let himself smile. "Nah, man. You know I want her to be happy. I'm glad she had a good date." They exchanged a few manly back pats before separating, and Joey schooled his features back into solemnity. "Hey, tell her I'm here for her if she needs to talk, okay?"
"Of course," Chandler nodded and headed for the door.
"You gonna take your beer," Joey asked after him.
Chandler opened the door and kept walking. "Nope." It closed as he began to push open the door to his own place.
"More beer for Joey," he grinned. He picked up the other bottle and clinked the two together, "Cheers. To a great date."
He tried waiting to hear from Rachel but he was sure Monica wasn't giving her much of a break and it was killing him. So he shot her a text asking her to come over so they could talk, hoping it would speed up the process a little bit. Either it worked or he'd had good timing, because less than five minutes later Rachel walked in and locked the door behind her.
"Hey you," she smiled. Her face was red and puffy from crying, but the smile didn't look forced in the slightest.
"Hey you," Joey parroted, holding his arms open and inviting her to curl up on the chair with him. She did so without reserve, nuzzling her nose into the crook of his neck and sighing happily as he wrapped his arms around her. "Heard you had an evening," he said after a moment.
"I heard you were gonna beat Ross up," she laughed softly.
"Well, I was." He admitted. "Decided not to. No big deal, totally could."
"Of course you could," Rachel laughed again. "It's Ross."
Joey let the silence fall over them like a comfortable blanket, communication done with touches and sighs rather than words until Rachel shifted in his arms to look at him. "How did you know?" She asked finally.
"Chandler came over to let me know and to warn me," he smirked. "Apparently you had a great date last night. He didn't want me to find out you were seeing someone else by surprise."
Rachel's lips quirked with amusement. "I had an amazing date last night," she agreed, struggling to keep her features serious. "So great that I didn't go home for twenty-four hours."
"Woo," Joey whistled. "That guy must have some stamina." That broke her, and Rachel fell into a peel of giggles.
"So you didn't tell Chandler?" she asked when she could breathe again.
Joey shook his head. "No. Did you tell Monica?"
"Oh I told Monica all about my date," she said. Her fingers traced their way up his arms, across his shoulders, and to his neck where they played with his hairline. "I told her how handsome he was, how clever and fun he was." She lowered her lips to the curve of his jaw and let them brush against his stubble as she spoke. "I told her how much I wanted him, and how when he holds me I feel safe." Rachel dragged her lips up his cheek until they ghosted over his own. "I told her he was an amazing kisser," she whispered. "And how badly I wanted to kiss him again, right now."
"Oh," Joey managed, voice strangled with want. How could she make something so innocent sound so hot? "I-I bet he'd like that too."
"Yeah?" She tilted her head back and forth, leaning in and pulling away playfully.
"God yes," Joey moaned. Either that was enough to entice her or he'd played right into her hand but Joey didn't care. She pressed their lips together, a slow tender thing that he could feel the fire hiding behind. He let it smolder, savoring the way she tasted, the slick slide of their lips, and the soft breaths of want that escaped against his mouth.
Rachel shifted in his lap, squirming to get better purchase so she could slant her lips over his, deepening the kiss and keening as their tongues met. He'd never wanted something as much as he wanted her, but he let himself be led by her needs. Met her kiss for kiss, touch for touch until they were both panting and uncomfortable with desire.
"Okay," she huffed, pulling back. "We… we need to lay down some guidelines if we are going to," she gestured to nothing in particular.
Joey nodded. "Mhm. Yeah. Guidelines, good." He took her lips again, wrapping around her as he explored her mouth. His hands tugged her shirt out of the hem of her pants so he could slide his palms up the soft skin of her back. More furious making out ensued until they managed to pull apart again, breathless.
"Boundaries," Rachel said. The words sounded hard won and Joey knew exactly how she felt.
"I agree," he said, voice tight and graveled with want. "That we need to do that. But if we have any chance of thinking, you need to get out of my lap." Despite his words, his hold on her didn't loosen.
"Mhm, yes." She nodded but didn't try to get up.
"I'm gonna…" Joey groaned and lifted her from his lap. "Order some pizza." He stood, reaching down and adjusting himself to a more comfortable position before walking to the phone. "Any new food things I need to know?"
"For pizza?" Rachel asked, sounding dazed. "Uh. No mushrooms."
"You love mushroom pizza," Joey said. He lifted the phone and hit speed dial one.
"They don't feel great coming up," she admitted.
"Got it, no mushrooms."