CHAPTER 8:

MAD LOVE

"You can stop pacing on the carpet, you know. Aunty Pammy isn't going to like you wearing a hole in her carpet."

Harry shot the silvery-haired girl, who was currently playing on her mobile phone, a glare. "I can't help it. She's breaking into Arkham Asylum. People joke about the bad security in that place, but that's only because they're dealing with people with superpowers and people who might as well have superpowers. And for who? A friend who has been a pretty bad friend to her?"

Delphi scoffed, even as she finished her game, turned it off, and tucked her phone away, before looking at Harry. "Because the Joker suckered her into a relationship. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if my birth parents were like that. My father, he supposedly couldn't love because he was born as the result of a loveless marriage, which I think is bol…I mean, rubbish. I'm sure there've been plenty of kids born thanks to Amortentia who can love. I love my parents. The ones who raised me, anyway." She looked to the TV. "I have nightmares of what it would have been like if I was left with Rowle, or worse, Bellatrix Lestrange raised me."

"Well, you're here now. You're a bit kooky and dark, but you're a good girl, Delphi."

"Hmm. Unfortunately, Luna's off on a date with Kite Man…well, Chuck, and Hermione's helping Aunty Pammy with her little jailbreak."

"Yeah. Hopefully there won't be too many casualties," Harry said. "I don't mind her going after corporate scumbags, but…even after what she said about corrupt GCPD officers being snapped up by Arkham…"

"You worry too much."

"…You should have met Mad-Eye Moody. Or maybe you shouldn't have. He'd have been paranoid enough to think you a threat because of your parents."

"Him and half of Magical Britain," she snarked. "Anyway, I've had a bad day at school. Bruce Wayne's brat was showing off. I mean, he's several grades above me and Teddy, we're nine, he's twelve, but he's such an attention hog. 'Ooh, lookit me, my daddy's rich, and my mother is heir to the League of Assassins'."

"…Wait, what?"

Delphi shrugged. "Damian Wayne's mother is rumoured to be Talia al Ghul. Bruce Wayne apparently had a thing for her a long time ago. Probably got out of there once he realised who her dad was. Ra's al Ghul would make for one scary father-in-law."

Before Harry could figure out an answer to that, the door opened, and Pamela came in, cradling the limp body of Harley Quinn in her arms. "Ugh…Portkeys are the worst…I'd rather take the subway than that if I can help it, even the cars used as a toilet by drunken idiots! Hey, Harry, Delphi, scooch off the sofa, I need to lie her down."

They did so. As Pamela laid her charge down tenderly, Harry reflected on matters. It had been six months now since his rescue, and two months since their relationship had progressed to another, more intimate level. True, it took a lot of time from their first kiss until they became lovers, but he had to say, it was worth the wait. Between her expertise at seduction, a broad knowledge of plant-based pharmaceuticals, and her gentle encouragement, well, he was happy with their relationship, and so was she.

However, Harley Quinn was still something of a sticking point for them both. Not necessarily a dealbreaker, but most of their worse arguments revolved around the subject of Harley and what to do with her. Because of the openness of their relationship, Pamela admitted quite readily that she still carried a torch for the deranged blonde, and she wanted to help her. Harry was considerably more cynical.

Still, he had to admit, she looked rather nice, especially up close. As with Pamela, that prison uniform hugged her body in all the right ways, and that strange mixture of motley and hood was actually quite nice. "Is she going to be all right?" Harry asked.

"She'll come around in a moment," Pamela said. "Had to knock her out to bring her back. Still wouldn't leave Arkham because she was convinced the Joker would break her out, despite the fact that she had been there literally a year to the day. Julian Day even counted, even though he can't remember his son's own birthday. You miss me much, Harry?" She hugged him as she said that.

"I worry for you, Pamela, especially when you do stuff like this. I mean, from what you told me, this has something like Harley's fingerprints all over it, not yours."

"I know. I managed to get the Riddler free too. I've got a backup plan, just in case. Hermione's working with me on it, but Nygma is going to be our decoy." As Frank leaned over to peer at Harley's supine form, Pamela muttered, "I think she's waking up."

Harley started when she saw Frank's eye, on one of his stalks, peer at her. "I did not ask for another motherfucking roommate!"

"Okay, firstly, Frank, mind your language in front of Delphi, I thought we made this clear before," Pamela said as she tended to her plants. "And secondly, you don't pay rent, so you don't get to complain."

Harley seemed bemused by the whole thing, looking at them. "…Ive, I have a few questions. Firstly, who are these people? And secondly, what am I doing here? Joker's gonna go crazy with worry when he gets to Arkham and sees that I'm not here."

Harry facepalmed, while Delphi muttered, "Wow, you'd think that you'd be a bit more grateful to the woman who busted you out of Arkham Asylum?"

"Hey, munchkin with the dyed hair, I am grateful, I really am, but I was waiting on Mr J," Harley said, before looking to Pamela. "No, really, Ivy, I am. But again, who are these people?"

"This is Harry, my boyfriend," Pamela said. "And this is Delphi, a kid we're babysitting for a mutual friend. Actually, you might remember that Harry was the guy I told you about whom I once met in England. Long story short, it wasn't his fault he stopped sending me letters."

"Hey," Harry said with a wave.

Harley's eyes widened, and she got a big smile on her face. "Wait, really? This is your long-lost first crush, Ivy? And you're back with him? God, I feel guilty about mouthing off against you now, Harry. And you're a cutie! And so's the kid, even if she has a mouth on her."

"I also have eyes, ears, and a brain," Delphi snarked.

"…Okay, that was good for a kid who is, what, ten?"

"I turned nine back in February," Delphi said. "And I think we've swapped mental ages."

Harry snickered, while Pamela said, "Okay, you two, settle down. We have time to figure out what to do next. And that's not waiting around for the Joker, Harley. My break-in and release of a number of inmates was already all over the TV, radio, and of course, social media, and I actually waited an hour or so before bringing you back here so that it would get out. He's not made any attempt to come see you, and believe me, I'd rather he not do so with Harry and Delphi around. Honestly, Delphi would probably kick him where it hurts."

Delphi grinned an unnerving grin. "You're right…something terrible must've happened to him…" Harley muttered, aghast.

Harry looked at Pamela, who nodded in reply to his unspoken question. Yes, she is always like this, was what that nod said. And then, Harley dashed for the door. Pamela promptly summoned a mass of vines to block the door. Harry readied his wand, but Pamela waved him down, whispering, "Don't show her your magic yet. The less she knows while she's still under his thumb, the better."

"Got it. Thanks."

Louder, Pamela said, "What the actual hell do I have to do to prove that the Joker does not love you?"

"You can't! I'm outta here!" Harley snapped, before somersaulting over the sofa in a series of rather expert gymnastic moves. However, in mid-air, Pamela's vines lashed out and caught her just as she leapt out of the window.

"…What score do we give that gymnastic display, Harry?" Delphi asked quietly.

"7 out of 10. I'm feeling generous, because she's actually quite good," Harry answered back.

"Hey, quiet in the peanut gallery!" Harley snapped as she swayed back and forth, mostly cocooned in vines, like a vegetable pinata.

"Just…listen, for once, in your life, Harley." Her green eyes bore into Harley's pale blue. "You were a genius psychiatrist, the wunderkind student of Dr Hugo Strange. Do you remember how you diagnosed me?"

"Sure. A classic misanthrope with abandonment issues who befriends plants to avoid human intimacy," Harley said.

"Nailed it!" Frank cheered.

Pamela shot Frank a look, before returning her gaze to Harley. "…Harley, you helped me. I can be around people now. I mean, I hate it, most of the time, but I can get through it without vomiting." She pulled the photo of herself and Harleen off the shelf with a vine, and held it in front of her face. "You were the only doctor who got through to me. What do you think she would say to you?"

Harley's eyes seemed to focus on the picture, before blinking. "Well, look who's Miss Square and Boring?" After a few seconds, she said, surprised, "Oh, go right ahead."

Pamela looked at her, before saying, "Is your picture talking to you again? I'll let you two talk it out."

Harley, after a moment, nodded. "She's saying to stay out of it, because we're making progress."

As Pamela guided Harry and Delphi to the kitchen, Harry looked over his shoulder at the jester woman hanging upside down, peering intently at the photo of her younger self. "Should I be worried, or…?"

"Actually, hallucinating her past self talking to her is one of her less concerning problems," Pamela said.

"We have moving photos, FYI," Delphi said. "Maybe we should change that one the wizarding way to a moving photo."

Harley then said, with a smile at her photo. "Oh, that's easy! Classic abusive co-dependency! You've got to show her that there's no future with him, and she needs to end it, and find her own identity, and…" She gasped in sudden realisation. "…Ah. I…see. You're smart," she concluded quietly.

Harry looked at Pamela, who smirked. "Yes, she is," she said smugly…

"And so they packed themselves off to go and confront the Joker," Harry said. "Do you think it will work?"

"Honestly? No," Hermione said. She'd arrived shortly after Harley left with Pamela in tow. "One epiphany doesn't mean she'll break it off, though she might surprise me. Knowing him, he'll probably sweet-talk her into coming back. It's pretty much SOP for abusive spouses and the like. It's why Pamela and I have been working on a Plan B. Basically, we're doing a form of shock therapy. I do hope it will work, though. Harleen's papers on criminal psychopathology are amongst the best in the field, on a par if not surpassing those of her mentor. Before he went off the deep end, Dr Hugo Strange was a titan in the criminal psychology and psychiatry fields. Harleen could have been so much more."

"Shock therapy?" Delphi asked. "Wouldn't they do that half the time in Arkham? She probably likes it."

"Not electroshock therapy, Delphi," Hermione said gently.

"What about insulin shock?" On Hermione's shocked look, Delphi shrugged. "I got bored, read that book on the history of psychotherapy. I mean, for all the many benefits of Muggle medicine and psychotherapy, some of that stuff was barbaric. Like lobotomies." She shivered. "Lobotomies…"

"The joys of parenthood, Hermione," Harry snarked. "Do you keep any books locked up?"

"Delphi is not only smart enough to know Alohamora already, she makes a game of breaking any lock, mundane or magical," Hermione said exasperatedly. "Like you said, the joys of parenthood."

Any further conversation was interrupted when Pamela came in. And she was alone, bearing a massive scowl. "Hermione? Plan B."

"…Right, I'll contact Nygma, and prepare the supplies." Hermione sighed resignedly. "Pamela, just so you know, I don't like being proven right in this case."

"Neither do I, but she's gone back to the clown after a pathetic little bit of sweet-talk," Pamela said. "And honestly, if this doesn't stick, then I have no idea what will."

Harry had no idea what will either. Then again, he didn't have a fraction of the faith Pamela had in her friend. He would soon realise that, with the right impetus, Harley Quinn could be so much more than she currently was…

CHAPTER 8 ANNOTATIONS:

So, Harry and Delphi have met Harley, and are not impressed. But that may change soon.

Now, this is the last of the chapters I am posting for this first day of the fic. Usually, I only post three, but I've got nineteen chapters written and ready to go. Nineteen. I chose to post the first eight chapters simply because I wanted to end this initial posting of chapters where the show begins.

So, enjoy!

No numbered annotations this time.