CHAPTER 19:
LOVE AND MONSTERS
That night, in fact, was the turning point for the three of them. They got to know each other in their shared mental landscapes, with Harley working through her feelings, and getting over her fear of any relationship with Pamela being on the rebound from the Joker. It helped that Harley was, after enough discussion, willing to do a 'friends with benefits' relationship with Harry.
Many a red-blooded male thought that having a threeway relationship between two women and a man would be a dream come true. In truth, the dynamics were somewhat more nuanced than that. The nexus of the relationship was not on Harry, but on Pamela. In addition, the three of them were damaged goods, to say the least.
Thankfully, their attitudes to sexuality were, if not the same, then similar enough. Both Harley and Pamela identified as pansexual (as did Luna), not caring about the gender of their lover as long as they were attracted to them. Harry was straight (as was Hermione and Nanaue), but he honestly didn't care about the sexuality of others as long as it was sane, safe and consensual. For example, he was, at best, bemused by Clayface's rather flexible attitude when it came to sexuality, but the shapeshifter viewed gender in the same way as a more mundane actor viewed a costume, only identifying as male as a default for convenience, and he was a decent guy beneath his hamminess. Sexual orientation as far as gender preferences were concerned had little connection to morality.
They actually spent a few weeks in that mental landscape, equivalent time, anyway, before Harley opted to give things a go with the pair of them. After talking things over in a marathon group therapy session (the monotony broken up by reminiscences over one memory or another in the memory museums of their temporarily conjoined minds), it was something of a breakthrough. And Harry learned more about Harley's sexual mores.
Pamela was very much a sensual being. She may have gotten over her sexpot seductress phase, and thus didn't flaunt her body as much as she used to publicly, but she was someone who knew how to get the most out of a lover, male or female, while getting as much pleasure for herself as possible. With someone she cared about, she was a goddess not just of nature, but of sex and fertility. She'd helped teach Harry how to please not only her, but indeed any other woman, and Harry wondered if the point of this was not just because she wanted them to enjoy themselves to their fullest in the bedroom, but also because she had a notion of bringing in Harley anyway.
Harley, on the other hand, was randy. This wasn't to say, despite her habitual dress both before and after she left the Joker, that she was slutty. Sluttiness implied promiscuity, and she had been a loyal lover to the Joker, even if that loyalty was never repaid. And once with Pamela and Harry, she seemed committed to them.
But she seemed to have a boundless energy and stamina in the bedroom that Harry and Pamela found hard to match. Hell, this boundless energy was one she showed in her day-to-day life, a hyperactivity, like Luna after inhaling a small mountain of cocaine. It wasn't quite attention deficit disorder, she could hyperfocus on things when she wanted to. And in addition, now that she was away from the Joker, she showed increasing amounts of intelligence and initiative. Most of her mistakes were due to her lack of experience leading a crew, as well as her impulsiveness. The new Harley could sometimes be a match for Hermione in intellectual debates.
The irony was, while Harley was nominally the leader of her crew, which now more or less included Pamela, if only by association, she was lower in the bedroom pecking order. Not actually submissive, but Pamela and Harry took the lead more often than not, though she wasn't afraid to say what worked and what didn't. And despite what the Joker claimed in a fit of sour grapes to the Legion of Doom, Harley didn't have HPV, or any other STD, a minor miracle, considering the Joker's possible promiscuity. Then again, he used protection most of the time, not because he wanted to protect Harley from STDs, but, in hindsight, he didn't want her getting pregnant. He wanted a sextoy, not a nursing mother.
Pamela and Harry privately agreed to keep the knowledge of Batman's true identity, or at least their hypothesis, secret for now. They did tell Harley frankly that they both knew a secret that, given time and proof that Harley could be trusted with it, they would tell her. She acquiesced, albeit somewhat reluctantly.
Harley was at least able to feel a bit better when she saw memories of Pamela's prior interactions with the Legion of Doom. While it didn't actually deter her from still wanting to get their notice and even join them, she at least acknowledged that it could be potentially problematic. Most of the reason why was because she wanted to flip Joker the bird. Pamela snarked (albeit good-naturedly and certainly with sincere sentiment) that, as it boiled down to not being over her ex, and Harley wanted to throw her success in his face, that it was easily the most relatable thing Harley had ever said.
The one thing the trio did agree on was that if Harley did make it into the Legion of Doom, even if Pamela refused to join, they would try their utmost not to let it come between them. Pamela's frank discussion with Harley over her abandonment issues had rammed it home to Harley how worried Pamela was about things. There had been a brief discussion over whether controlling issues were involved from Pamela towards Harley, but they were able to talk it out.
It wasn't the only exciting thing that happened during that time. They'd learned about Sy Borgman's dirty little secret. And one of the favours Hermione was giving to Sy to ensure he gave them the mall cheaply as a hideout…
"So, let me get this straight…" Harry began. "35 years ago, while you were still working for the CIA, your sister was employed to create some sort of animal hybrid, because apparently that was the fad at the time for black ops, only, she ended up getting fused with an octopus rather than the monkey they intended to fuse with the octopus?"
"What can I say?" Sy asked. "Genetic modification was all the rage at the time, but they were throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what stuck. Had to keep her contained, and after this place went belly-up, I ended up putting her here. But…I felt guilty. I'm not sure I want to let her loose when I can find a way to cure her, but…the Agency, they claim they can't. I thought your geoynim might be able to help. Either with magic, or science smarts."
"Sorry, what?"
Hermione sighed. "Sy means geniuses. It's Yiddish."
Harley's crew, along with Sy and the collective group that made up the Oracle, were walking down the corridors of the basement of the mall. Clayface leaned towards Sy. "You know, if you are willing, would you mind parting with some Yiddish tuition? Linguistics knowledge is always welcome in the repertoire of an actor."
"Sure, sure, just don't expect to do it in my place, I don't wanna clean that mud off my carpet," Sy remarked. "Anyway, Hermione's got something that might just help Mirielle come back to normal. Had to get some samples from her before you guys moved in here. Had to do some apologising." His face fell. "I abandoned her. I've been a bad brother to her. You know what I mean, right?"
"Umm, most of us here are only children, I think," Harley said. "I had a brother, but…well, he died when we were teens. Badly."
"…I know that feeling," Nanaue confessed. "Just don't expect me to talk about it."
"Okay, but just so you know, I am a qualified psychiatrist, even if I've been disbarred," Harley said, gently patting the shark-man's shoulder. "If you want to talk about it, I'm here, as a shrink, and as your friend."
As Nanaue mumbled his thanks, Harry sighed. "Well, better late than never, right?"
"Hey, I don't deserve any well-wishing. I did this to my sister," Sy said morosely. "I've done shitty things while working for Langley, but this pretty much tops them all."
"So how did you formulate this cure, Hermione?" Pamela asked.
"With difficulty. I'll give you the notes later if you want, Pamela, but this was only half actual science. The other half was magic. I've been trying to work on a cure for lycanthropy for years, and this is based on that research."
"You want to cure werewolves?" Harley asked.
"Or at least give them the ability to remain lucid during the full moon without drinking a complex and expensive potion. I mean, my cure would be complex and expensive, but it'd be just one dose. The problem is, the werewolf virus that causes most werewolf cases is a magical variant on a lyssavirus, the same family of virus that includes rabies. Only, it has elements like a retrovirus. I could go on, but I know I'm boring everyone but Pamela and Luna."
"Yeah, but retroviruses can rewrite DNA, right?" Harley asked. "It's considered a means of gene therapy."
"Exactly. However, Sy was kind enough to bring me her original notes, so that, unlike with lycanthropy, I'm not starting from scratch. Of course, de-fusing her from the octopus won't work, but changing what genes are expressed will, I hope. She may still have mutations and potentially an ability to transform, but she'll be, hopefully, lucid, human-looking for the most part, and able to converse with us without needing a telepath."
Sy brought them to an ominous door which he opened by remote control…only for it to be a janitor's closet. Grimacing at his mistake, he opened another, revealing a massive purple monstrosity covered in tentacles. Its face was strangely vaguely avian-looking. When it saw the door opening, it unleashed a piercing shriek that, under other circumstances, all of those present would be terrified by.
"Mirielle!" Sy called out. "Hermione here's got the possible cure that she was talking about. It won't be a complete cure, but it should allow you to get back to normal…we hope."
Hermione, with some trepidation, but little actual fear, walked into the vast chamber, fishing out a syringe. "Now, I derived this from the samples Sy allowed me to take from you. This will hopefully stop the octopus genes from expressing too much. You may still have physical abnormalities, but I'm hoping any transformation back into this state is purely voluntary. Do you understand?"
Mirielle nodded, unleashing a quieter screech. Hermione carefully injected her with the needle. After withdrawing it, the massive creature convulsed, and then began shrinking. Luna hurried forward with a dressing gown as the creature began regaining the semblance of a human form and size.
And then, it was over.
The woman hunched over in front of them, shivering even with the dressing gown draped over her by Luna, was still rather attractive, in a bookish way. Well, if you could ignore the purple skin and the still monstrous eyes with slitted pupils. Harry had seen weirder fetishes when he was bored and used the internet. "Ugh, that is not an experience I want to go through again," she muttered, sharing Sy's Yiddish accent.
"Transforming?" Harry asked.
"No, staying in that form for over thirty years," Mirielle retorted. "Don't get me wrong, it's fun being a huge monster and all, but being one for over thirty years? Then again, I don't seem to have aged. And look at you, Sy, all old and in a scooter. I'll bet you haven't had your parts looked after right."
"What are you, my mother?" Sy complained.
"She's dead, she died because of those Russian terrorists who ensured you needed those cybernetic parts(1), and you haven't been taking care of yourself! She'd be turning in her grave!"
As the two siblings bickered, Delphi snarked, "Well, this is heartening."
"In what way is this heartening?" Pamela said.
"She's annoyed with him, and yet is not trying to kill him or revert back into a tentacle monster from the stress, despite being kept down here for decades," Delphi said.
"…I suppose when you put it like that…" Pamela conceded.
The argument thankfully died down after a few minutes, leading to Sy being hugged by his sister. Of course, she was told that the CIA had fired her on account of messing up what they claimed was a perfectly safe procedure (claiming that she should have ensured the restraints on the monkey were better), and she said that they could go fuck themselves. Not quite like that in front of Delphi, but her sentiment was clear. She'd also thanked Hermione and Luna profusely for helping her return to some semblance of normality.
Harry couldn't help but feel a sting, though. He was leaving his own biological children to Ginnymort, though part of that was a lack of ability to find the bitch. But he found himself lacking any care for that. And he hated himself for it.
Mirielle looked over Harley's crew critically. "Yeesh, Sy, you really want to team up with this crazy clown girl? She's young enough to be your granddaughter. Same with most of them."
"Eh, life ain't boring around them. And honestly, I'm looking for some fun in my retirement."
"Just as long as you watch your blood pressure," Mirielle said, before meeting Harley's gaze. "Now, you better listen here, clown girl. Even after what Sy did to me, I still love him. So help me, don't you dare lead him to his death, you got it? Or I will go all Purple People Eater on you."
"Hey, it's fine!" Harley said. "Yikes, you sound like my mother."
"Look, I'm just concerned. Your life choices are your own business, and if Sy, or any of these guys come with you, it's their lookout. But I'm worried. Always have been, even when we were still working for those idiots at Langley. He probably didn't tell you, probably because half that stuff's still classified, and most of it, he ain't proud of. And before you ask, I ain't interested in joining your crew, at least going out on your heists and stuff."
"I was going to wait before I ask, anyway," Harley said. "You just got changed back from a damned tentacle monster. I was going to give you a few days to recover from that before I thought of asking, as tempting as it is to have a kaiju on the team."
"Kaiju? Is that antisemitic?"
"Kaiju is Japanese for big monster," Nanaue said. "You know, like Godzilla, or Gojira if you're a pedantic weeaboo."
"And bee tee dubs, my family is Jewish," Harley said, before rolling her eyes. "Not really devout, but…"
"I can't exactly throw stones, and neither can my brother," Mirielle said with a shrug. "But that's neither here nor there. I'll stay in this hideout, but I want to talk to these two," she indicated Hermione and Luna, "plus Dr Isley there." She indicated Pamela. "I want to know anything she can tell me about plant hybridisation and the like. Plus, you want a sounding board for your capers? Just ask. Sy had me helping him with one or two jobs in that regard back at Langley."
"Sure, I'll think about it. You're fine with helping a supervillain?"
"Please, I worked for the CIA. That's practically the same thing at times…"
CHAPTER 19 ANNOTATIONS:
The previous chapter might have been the last one in this initial batch of chapters, except I got around to watching LODRSVP, and witnessing the saga of Mirielle Borgman. So, after the first part of the chapter discussing the threeway relationship between Harry, Ivy and Harley, I thought I'd get that over and done with before going onto the events of this fic's version of You're a Damn Good Cop, Jim Gordon.
I can see Mirielle Borgman being the team mother, don't you? The fussy mother figure who is basically a bit like Molly Weasley? It'll be nice to have someone changing the dynamics of Harley's crew a little.
Anyway, this will be the last chapter for a while. The next one is partly-written, but I'm in major danger of burning myself out, amongst other reasons. So, I hope you've enjoyed this fic so far.
1. This is a reference to how Sy Borgman got his cybernetics in the comics.