Chapter 1
Steve was busy playing Blue's clues. He's currently searching for the last and final pawprint. Right now in his notebook, were poorly drawn pictures of the previous clues: A whip and a ball gag. The sweatered man wondered what could his dog, Blue, be planning. Maybe the mutt wants to play some sort of slavery auction based from what he found. Well, that question will be answered once he finds that pesky paw print.
Steve explored everywhere. He hunted the toilet and foraged Sunday's clogged shit hoping to discover clues printed on the feces like last time. Boy! That was a fun shitty episode. Blue really outdid herself with that one. Sadly, that was not to be. No blue pawprint here, just yellow corn leftovers sticking in the pile of crap.
"Goddamn! You really are stepping your game, Blue" Steve thought, wiping his forehead. Smearing feces in the process like ash Wednesday.
The surveyor host walked out into the backyard and into the sandbox to inquire of Shovel and Pail about the whereabouts of the last clue. But what he found was entirely different. He saw Shovel stuffing up Pail's plastic cumbucket hole to the brim. And it wasn't sand.
"Shove it all deep, Shovel!" Pail said, impaled.
Since he has job to do, although it was hot and he wanted to join them - He already unbuckled and unzipped his pants, Steve let them be. But not before videotaping the Pail shoveling porn for him to jack off to later.
At last, Steve arrived at the remaining location where he haven't scavenged yet. The kitchen.
Foraging in the trash bin, Steve's eardrums are filled with voices. There were two of them and they weren't in the joyous of mood. They were Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper's. An argument erupted between the married dispensers. It was getting so interesting, Steve had to snoop in and gather intel like some asshole teacher's pet.
"I said it once, and I'm saying it twice!" Mrs. Pepper's voice roared in a French accent. "I did not cheat with another condiment!"
"Shut it Hoe!" Mr. Salt responded, too, in a French accent "Get an eye exam and after that, take a good examination of OUR child!"
"My eyesight can determine just fine! All I see is our beautiful baby Paprika" Mrs. Pepper hissed
Mr. Salt was getting even more salty now "Yeah? Our Baby that's as red as a fuckin' commie!"
Mrs. Pepper stepped back aghast. "So what if she's red? What are you? Some kind of racist? Dont'cha know redskins previously own the land we have our asses shitting on!?"
Mr. Salt laughed as hard has he could. Harder than his erect salty cum dispenser.
"Bitch! What color will you get if you mix salt and pepper together?"
"Gray?" Mrs Pepper smirked an answer for the sudden shift in topic from Mr. Salt was quite comedic, proving he had no more to support himself up.
"Take a good look, Hoe! TAKE A GOOD GODFORSAKING LOOK!" Mr. Salt picked up Baby Paprika, shoving the baby on his wife's glassy face. Pumped up veins inflaming in the form of crack on his forehead. He was starting to lose his accent due to his Americanized anger, sounding more of a country folk hillbilly scumbag.
"She's red, Woman! How'd you explain that huh! You can't!... You can't cuz you fucked a ketchup or or something red like a freaking Hemorrhoid!"
The fuming salt dispenser then carried his "adopted" daughter away to sell her off to the deep web and divorced his pepper lover right on the spot. No need to settle in court because they were talking food condiments, Only humans and talking bees are allowed in the court of law. Mr. Salt hailed a taxi and sped off to the distant horizon.
Mrs. Pepper was left alone on the kitchen table, sobbing her spicy tears out. Steve started to pity the woman. Though he had important things to do like finding Blue's clues, He had to forget about that for a moment because a good friend, no... A hot and spicy friend needed some comforting.
Steve revealed himself from his hiding spot and show off a forced smile as he ambled towards the pepper dispenser. What he did not noticed was his rigid penis doing Broadway with ANNIE'S "It's a hard cock life" out of his unzipped pants.
"Hey, Mrs. Pepper quite a day we're having! " He said, without warning.
Surprise sent the female pepper tumbling down the table's surface then rolling uncontrollably to the edge where a waiting descend would definitely shattered her spicy glass ass and claim her life.
"Oh shit!" She yelled.
Fortunately, who else but Steve sprung up into action and did a heroic deed, stopping the falling dispenser just as she reached past the borders.
The two remained still after the rescue. Steve on his left knee, kneeling with his palm open, and on that palm, was the damsel Mrs. Pepper. Both staring at each other - actually only Steve eyed Mrs. Pepper since Mrs. Pepper was busy lipbiting at the meaty genitalia.
Mrs. Pepper leaned forward, closer to that of Steve's smooth head. She stargazed the sight of the man's crotch features. With a handsome one eyed veiny milk puker like that and add his charming bravery and heroics, Steve can be compared to a Knight or a Prince from the medieval era. In short, Steve looked like a hunk she wants to funk.
Mrs. Pepper's glass nipples perked up as sharp as shards without the need for molding process to soften her Erlenmeyer chest and reshape it.
"T-hank you Steve" Mrs. Pepper thanked while fixing herself up.
"No problem, Madam... I'm always present in your times of peril" Steve boasted as if he wasn't the cause of the damsel's distress.
Mrs. Pepper's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Steve, in her opinion, was a gentleman. The giant man had what Mr. Salt lacked. The respect for women and a massive cunt rammer. Perhaps the only similarities the two might have would be their sodium induced cock juice. Depending whether Steve ate pineapple coochies before sexual intercourse.
"You know... " Steve started "Mr. Salt shouldn't be treating you that way and it's good that he left you... You need someone who will not break your heart but, instead, break your hymen..."
Mrs. Pepper blinked unevenly in surprise "Are you saying, someone who would.."
"Fuck you right! Yes..." The guy in green cut her off "And I believe I am that man... "
A puff of peppery smoke billowed out of the curvy condiment's holed lid.
"I-I love to, but I don't think such sexual interaction is possible"
With a funny remark coming from a talking pepper dispenser, humored, Steve slapped his knee which slid straight at his penis, spinning it like the wheel of fortune.
"Lol, Nothing is impossible here in the Blue's Clues HQ... I mean look around, Every object talks for buttfucking sake!"
Steve proceeded to put entirely his pants down and introduced his brutish erection's partner in crime, his summer sagging scrotum, lock and loaded with two heavy dingleberries. It popped out in an instant, aggressively as an activated parachute.
Mrs. Pepper eye's gleamed after seeing Steve's hairy thigh pouch. The way it hang so gracefully as though it has a fixed oscillation as the air blew the sweat dry from it's crumpled surface. Lust encouraged her to just head straight for it and sprinkle spice on that crotch omelet.
After both stimulated individuals took their time to cherish the perverse view of each of their own sex organs, Steve made the first move and brought Mrs. Pepper to his enormous cock.
Mrs. Pepper understood the situation and wanked the Stevie gherkin with her thin stick figure arms while licking the base where it was most sensitive, second only to the dick bulb.
Due to the thinness of her arms, her dong massage didn't feel like a true hand job. Steve thought he had ants crawling around his love muscle. The man had to intervene.
"Let me assist you in pleasuring myself, Maam" Steve said before laying on his back and lifted his lower torso, bending it to almost ninety degrees. He then sucked his own cock with the dexterity of a contortionist, sucking every inch without careful.
"Damn, Steve, I didn't know you can do that!" Mrs. Pepper showed her amazement, hanging from the host's nutsack.
"This is what you'll learn when you go to college... " A reply Steve gave while choked on broad chode.
Once seeing his condiment partner struggled to hang on his fleshy dufflebag, he saved her again by placing her to a more safer location - which was his anus, plugging her like a cork in his porkhole.
"You behave, darling, while Daddy's working... "
Steve continued his self dick inhalation for minutes on end until the activity felt a little bland. He had reached the point where he had sipped all of the flavor of sweat, smegma and urinal residue off his schlonggadog.
"Looks like I need a little spice to my wiener!" Steve proclaimed, in a new Yorker accent.
He unplugged Mrs. Pepper and sprinkled a line of her pepper on his nine inched pulsing dirk. Afterwards, he clean up the edges with his fingers then snorted the hell out the spice like a crack addict.
"Snort yaaah that hits the spot!" Steve moaned then engulfed his cock again thereafter while the pungent odor and pain of spice still lingered in his nostrils. Experiencing the spicy acid trip side of self-sucking. His nose and eyes were crying snot and tears just as they were reddening, leaking down his shaft, giving his dong a salty flavor as if Mr. Salt joined in, and poured sodium on his stiff penile podium.
Mrs. Pepper watched while pondering what kind of sex this man was doing.
"Steve? You ok bro?"
Steve was sucking uncontrollably that he went passed ballsdeep and shoved his schnoz in his sweaty asshole. It reeked like Satan's armpits down under as he tasted his own anus bungtrap. Well, the man had arrived at the point of no return so Steve decided to anally eat himself anyways.
"Steve? What the fuck are you doing, Man" Mrs. Pepper pulled the man's ear lobe. She thought Steve was going to pleasure her not show her some incel move he'd gotten out of a college frat house.
Steve however didn't mind her but instead grabbed her again and poured her hot flavoring dust on his own crap dungeon, Darkening the pigmentation to his already brownish anus.
To make it an even more staggering to see, he made a dipping tray out of that peppered A-hole by dunking half of his erect penis inside, pulling it out right after then sucked it like crab leg plunged in oyster sauce.
"Hmmnn Peppery..." Steve commented on his own umami-flavored rod.
Steve's head banging pleasuring lasted for about an hour as he soon reached his ejaculation. He gushed his backed up juices down his throat and washed up all the spice sticking on his esophagus.
"Phew! That was spectacular," Steve said with cum around his mouth, panting.
Mrs. Pepper with her arms crossed replied, "Yeah, it sure was... What a hell of a time"
"You did a swell job, Mrs. Pepper!" congratulated Steve as if he didn't performed majority of his euphoria.
"Hmph, yeah... You're welcome," replied the pepper woman, facing the other direction, angered.