Chapter 6

Jarrod stopped by his office after leaving Bishop Kip. He did some work and gathered up more to take with him, then went to his club and had dinner before going to his home. The place was dark, a little musty. He hadn't been here in a while, and when he was not around he didn't have Charles come in more often than once a week to check on things. Charles had other people he worked for, and working only part time for Jarrod suited him fine. Tonight, Charles was not here, and since he planned to stay only overnight, Jarrod settled in by himself with a glass of brandy after dinner.

He thought about everything. He thought about the things Bishop Kip had said, and they did have a settling effect for him, even though he knew the Bishop was right. His adjustment to being a widower, losing his dreams, losing his identity, was only partly done. Moreover, the last thing Bishop Kip said to him as he left made a lot of sense – "You can't rush the adjustment, Jarrod. It will come as it comes, in its own time. What you should do is accept it as it comes."

He sipped his brandy and thought again about the Josephs, and knew for certain now he could not father their child. He just could not do it. In a way, that was reassuring, believing for certain that he could not do it. In a way, that seemed like it provided another piece of adjustment and forgiveness for him to accept. He accepted it. Now he just had to decide how he was going to act toward the Josephs in the future. He decided that first he would have to see how they were going to act toward him.

Jarrod was still thinking about the Josephs when he caught the morning train back to Stockton the next day. He was so preoccupied that the train was rolling out before he noticed the people who had gotten off when it arrived from Stockton. Most had left the platform already but then he spotted them, talking to a porter and getting their bags together. The Josephs had come to San Francisco.

Well, that put off any chance he'd be talking to them in Stockton anytime soon. In a way, that relieved him. It gave him more time to get himself together. He wondered why they were both in San Francisco, but then he put it away. It was none of his business. Their personal plans were none of his business, and he was pretty happy about that.

He got back to the ranch by late afternoon, having checked in at his Stockton office before heading out. He found his mother arranging flowers on the table in the foyer. She looked up, and he gave her a smile and a kiss after putting his briefcase down and putting his hat on the hat tree by the door.

"That wasn't much of a trip," Victoria said.

"On the contrary, I was able to do what I wanted to do nice and quick," Jarrod said. "Where is everybody?"

"Nick and Heath haven't come in yet. Audra's upstairs taking a bath." Then she looked closely at his smile. "It's good to see the worry out of your eyes."

"I can't say the worry is gone, but I was able to fortify my coping skills in San Francisco."

"Neil Joseph came by looking for you after you left yesterday."

Jarrod lost his smile. "Oh?"

"He just wanted you to know he and Clair were going to San Francisco for a couple weeks," Victoria said, noticing Jarrod's expression had changed and correctly figuring his recent preoccupation was with them. But she didn't get into that. She just said, "They plan to stay at the Fairmont if you need them for anything."

"All right," Jarrod said and went back for his briefcase. "I want to get a couple things done here before dinner, so I'll be in the library."

"All right," Victoria replied and watched him go, wondering.

Once in the library, Jarrod put his briefcase down and spent a minute looking out of the French doors. There was nothing going on out there, nothing to distract him from wondering why Neil would be letting him know they were going away for a while.

Accept. That was the word Bishop Kip had left him with. Jarrod decided to let the Josephs go for now. They were in San Francisco, for whatever reasons. If there was anything they wanted him to know, they'd tell him when they got back. It wasn't going to pay to wonder about it. Jarrod let it go.

XXXXXX

Victoria's birthday celebration was everything she wanted it to be. Not a grand affair, just her immediate family, a beautiful dinner and cake prepared by Silas, and a gift from all of her children – a beautiful mandolin that came straight from Spain.

And Jarrod was all smiles. "Just what I wanted for my birthday," she told him privately, which made him smile more.

"I'm sorry I've been sullen lately," Jarrod said. "I've had some things on my mind, but my mind has gotten adjusted to them."

"Things you can't talk about now."

"Things I can't talk about ever. Forgive me."

"Of course, but if you change your mind…"

Jarrod shook his head. "I won't, Mother. I simply can't."

Victoria took that with a nod. "All right."

XXXXX

Life went on. Jarrod dived back into his legal business in Stockton and into family diversions, including getting Nick out of jail one time after a battle in the Empire saloon in town. Heath was thrown by his horse and twisted an arm in the fall, so he was in a sling for several days. One of the yard dogs had pups and Audra was full of smiles.

Jarrod didn't forget the Josephs, but he did forget what day it was they were to come back into town, so they were around for several days before he saw them on the street. They looked good, even rested, even happy. "Hello," Jarrod said, tipping his hat. "Back from San Francisco, I see. You had a good visit?"

"We did," Neil said. "Even took in the opera."

"That wasn't Neil's idea, but he liked it," Clair said.

"Good," Jarrod said. "A little culture never hurt anybody – except for maybe my brother Nick."

"Nick at the opera is something I would pay to see," Neil said.

They continued small talk, then parted company, leaving Jarrod to wonder a little what else took place in San Francisco. Then Jarrod didn't see them for well over a month and did not know where they were or what they were doing. He began to stop thinking about them as concerns of his clients, including his family, took over. The warm summer weather began to cool a bit. The air took on a fresh, clean feel.

Then one day Neil turned up at Jarrod's office. Jarrod was surprised, but of course, invited him in, and closed the door to his inner office as Neil sat down.

"Can I do something for you, Neil, or is this a social call?" Jarrod asked as he sat down behind his desk. Of course, he already knew the answer. Neil wouldn't come here on a social call. Jarrod felt an itch.

But Neil smiled and said, "Clair is with child, Jarrod."

Jarrod wasn't remotely surprised.