AN: Credit to Hexan_Tronic over on AO3 for this idea, even if I ultimately went in a wildly different direction. I decided to write a piece about what happens if the canon Himiko Toga actually dreamed about the life she was living in my AU story A Different Course every evening when she went to sleep.

So in short, this story is a self-indulgent piece that just goes full circle with my AU.

Spoiler warning: This contains mild spoilers for future events in my own story, as well as spoilers for events up through chapter 345 of the Manga. You have been warned.

Himiko Toga awoke to find herself wrapped in a pile of newspapers, momentarily confused by her surroundings.

Oh, I had that annoying dream again.

It had been several months since she attacked Saito, and she has been on the run ever since. But she has learned to hide herself well. She finds another student, kills them, and collects as much of their blood as she can. That is enough to live their life for a while, and give her a few days of reprieve. Unfortunately people always figure it out, and in the end she is forced to flee and move on to her next victim.

It's not the best life, but it lets her experience so much!

But recently, she's started having weird dreams. Dreams involving herself, and a green haired family that found her after she attacked Saito.

It was a false comfort, and she has started to resent her dreams, teasing a life she could never have. As if anyone would forgive her for what she has done, let alone actually take her in! Nobody cared about her, and nobody would be that willing to give her a second chance. All she had was what she could take for herself.

One day, she came across a video on the internet, from the Hero Killer Stain. It resonated with her, so she worked to track down the so-called League of Villains.

It was the best decision she ever made!

The League was great. Finally, she found people who accepted her for who she was! There was Big Sis Magne, Twice, Spinner, and others. They quickly became fast friends - all of them bonding over the fact that they are misfits society has rejected.

It was enough that she stopped feeling pangs of jealousy at the life she lives in her dreams. Although she does realize the irony that she joined the League of Villains, while she was training to become a hero whenever she slept.

It was ok though! Dreams were just that, dreams, while the people in the league gave her something real in her life.

As she was racing through the forest, she felt exhilarated. This was her first mission for the League! She was going to be facing future heroes! They should be more exciting to play with then the students she used to hunt.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a pair of girls, and her heart began racing with excitement. It was Tsu-chan and Ochako-chan! They are real! She was so sure they were invented by her mind when she sleeps, but here they were, right in front of her.

She had to go introduce herself!

Drawing her knife with a giggle, she leapt out of the treeline towards the two girls, managing to open a large wound in Ochako's arm, before landing a few feet away.

"Hello Ochako-chan! Tsuyu-chan!"

"H-how do you know our names?"

Himiko giggled. "Oh, right! I am Himiko Toga. I was sent here by the League to play with you all!"

She was still getting used to her support gear, so she missed when she tried to throw a syringe at Ochako. With a sigh and a frown she decided to be more direct, leaping towards her instead.

Only to get smacked out of the air by Tsuyu's tongue attack. When Tusyu tried to attack her a second time, she managed to draw a knife and slash the frog girl's tongue, before leaping towards her and pinning her to a tree.

"Hey now Tsu-chan! I was going to take turns, but if you insist we can play first!"

As she was leaning into Tsuyu, her knife pressing into the other girl's arm, she felt thrilled. In her dreams, the frog girl always got along with Sakura and Ochako more than her, but they were still friends! She just had to remind the other girl of that.

"D-Don't call me that name, I only let my friends call me that!"

Himiko looked disappointed. "But we are great friends! We just need to spend some time together."

"You stay away from her!" She heard Ochako yell from behind her, giving her just enough time to leap out of the way of the attack, before she spun around and saw the fallen tree Ochako was wielding as a club.

"Too slow Ochako-chan!" She rushed her and tackled her, laying on top of her.

She leaned in, and could see the signs. Ochako-chan is in love. Himiko smiled at her. "Aww, who is the lucky boy? It better be Izuku-kun!"

That seemed to startle Ochako "H-how do you know?"

"We know a lot about each other." She leaned in. "We're best friends, after all."

Himiko activated her machine and plunged a syringe into Ochako, beginning to draw blood. "And best friends share!"

"W-we're not friends!"

Himiko wanted to retort, but the two of them heard someone shout, and looking up, she spotted him.

Izuku-kun.

She felt herself blushing as a whole host of emotions slammed into her all at once. But one emotion stood out above them all - overwhelming love.

He's real too! Izuku-kun is real!

With a blush spreading across her face, she leaned down, whispering conspiratorially to Ochako. "It turns out I love Izuku-kun too." She giggled. "It's a plot straight out of a movie! Best friends, both falling for the same boy! Will our friendship survive?"

Himiko found herself so lost in her head over the revelation that she didn't notice Tsuyu had recovered until she was kicked away from Ochako by the frog girl.

"Aww, you're no fun. We'll have to hang out sometime later!" With that she dashed off back to her friends among the league.

When she reached the clearing, Twice noticed her mood immediately. "You seem happy."

"Oh yes! I found some friends tonight! And I fell in love!"

That seemed to confuse Twice, but Himiko was already off trying to remember everything she could from her dreams. After all, before tonight, it just felt like a life that was just out of reach, all these fantastic people who were just figments of her imagination, but now she's met some of them! She's actually seen Izuku!

Who else could be real?

Himiko sat with Twice in the Shie Hassaikai headquarters. Shigaraki had essentially told them to destroy the organization, without literally telling them. It turns out that the yakuza have someone who has a super annoying quirk that compels them to tell the truth.

Especially because of her second objective - to rescue Eri, and bring her back to the League. She remembered the girl's story, so much like her own, and it broke her heart. She just had to rescue her from that jerk Overhaul! But the yakuza was paranoid, and even though she and Twice were supposed to be guests, they weren't allowed anywhere near her. In fact, Himiko was pretty sure that Overhaul thought she didn't know Eri even existed.

That was ok. She just had to wait patiently, and eventually an opportunity would present itself. Then she can swoop in, rescue Eri, and bring down that jerk Overhaul. She just hoped that she was able to keep her plan a secret.

A week later, the opportunity presented itself when the heroes found out the location of the Shie Hassaikai compound. This was her chance! She and Twice just had to put on a show to stop the heroes, then they could sneak off and grab Eri. She even used her precious drop of Izuku's blood to make sure that Ochako knew where to go so she could help!

But unfortunately for her, it seems like Izuku rescued Eri before she could. From her hiding spot, she watched as Izuku fought Overhaul. As he fought, she found herself falling even harder for him.

Look at him, fighting with everything he has to protect that little girl!

If only he knew my story, he would fight just as hard to protect me.

Unfortunately, in the end she never got the chance to rescue Eri. But in her mind, Izuku rescuing her was almost as good - after all, she knew he would take good care of her! Regrouping with Twice, the pair left to report their success to Shigaraki.

"Why are you still here?" Spinner asks Himiko as she watches her comrades continue to fight. "All of Stain's original ideals are gone."

"I could ask you the same question." Himiko shot back. "It's simple. I love Stain, and I love some of the heroes who oppose us. By staying with the League, I have more chances to get closer to the ones I love!"

"Hmph, you seem so carefree. But I guess I don't have room to talk."

Himiko was looking at the skyline with excitement on her face. "And someday, I will be close enough that I can become everyone I love!"

I have seen it. I love them, they love me, and they even let me have some of their blood! I just need a chance to get close to them.

Is this how I die?

For the first time since she ran away from home, Himiko felt scared. She didn't want to die! But she hurt so much. Her stomach was torn to shreds, and her body was in pain all over. She just wanted to lay down and close her eyes, but Curious just won't let her.

Opening up her case, she withdrew a blood vial - the last of Ochako's blood. She drank it, and activated her quirk. Like a warm blanket, she felt the slime cover her and wrap her in Ochako's appearance.

I hope Ochako-chan takes good care of Izuku-kun, because I won't be there to make sure it happens.

But even now, Curious wouldn't let her stop. It wasn't until she was laying on the ground and Curious was walking over to her that she recognized the sensation, the tingling heat that reached into the very core of her being. Reaching out, she grabbed Curious' leg, and felt Ochako's quirk activate.

Excitement coursed through Himiko as she recognized what had happened. With renewed vigor she found herself throwing Curious upwards, before scrambling to her own feet.

Ochako-chan saved me! I don't have to die today!

Himiko raced through the crowd, removing everyone's gravity and tossing them to the sky. She felt a rolling in her stomach and wanted to vomit, but she pushed it down - compared to the explosions she just endured, a little nausea was nothing. She waited a moment to let the MLA thugs gain height, and then she released Ochako's quirk, watching them fall with satisfaction.

Now, she just had to find someplace to rest. With the threat of immediate death gone, the exhaustion returned in force, all she had to do was find someplace to sleep.

Hopefully I am doing something fun in my dreams. Today sucked.

The first time Himiko encountered Polaris was when the UA students tried to take down Gigantomachia. Worried about what was happening, she had hopped off of him to help defend him from the heroes. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Red Riot was trying to do something to him. Racing to stop him, she drew a knife, only to feel the hair on the back of her neck tingling.

She dodged out of the way, just in time to see a large blast of light fill the area she was previously occupying.

"How?!" Her pulse quickened when she heard the American's voice. "How did you dodge that?"

Himiko turned and saw her. Another person who was willing to fight for her. While her costume was slightly different, her face was exactly as she remembered it. The literal woman of her dreams.

Seeing her, she couldn't help but fall in love all over again.

"It's because you're too slow Emmy!" Himiko called out in excitement.

"You don't have any right to call me that!" She spat back. "You will call me Polaris, and I will end you."

Himiko saw her gauntlet start glowing as Polaris readied one of her special attacks, and dodged away. She was struck by an idea and drew a knife. If she remembered correctly, there was a flaw in the design - that she found. She wondered if that meant she could find it again.

After dodging the next blast, Himiko found an opening, and she ran towards the hero. Unphased, Polaris raised her right hand and began charging an orb in her palm.

Himiko concentrated and threw her knife with precision, hitting Polaris' palm, causing her to recoil. The orb of light disappeared as Polaris grabbed her hand, hatred in her eyes. That gave Himiko the precious seconds she needed to close in and stab down on one of the lenses on her gauntlet, watching in satisfaction as it shattered.

"W-What did you do?" The hero hissed at her.

"Just keeping your pretty face out of the fight." Himiko teased back as she danced away.

Polaris tried to use her gauntlet and let out a frustrated yell when the charged light misfired out of the broken lens. With a knife embedded in her right palm and her left hand trapped inside the support gauntlet, she was effectively out of the fight until she could remove both. Satisfied, Himiko returned to her original objective - stopping Red Riot.

She didn't have time to waste wondering why she was crying, or why her heart felt like it had been torn to shreds.

No matter how real they feel, those feelings are just dreams.

The war has been hard on Himiko. Not only has her dreams grown more disconnected with the reality of the situation, but the twin blows of meeting Polaris, only to find out that in reality she hates her, and Twice's death have torn chunks out of Himiko's very soul, leaving her with a void that she was unable to fill.

So when she had the chance to talk to Ochako, she knew she had to take it.

"I wish Izuku-kun was here, I wanted to talk to him as well." Himiko told her as she danced through the house, her words carrying.

"Sorry to disappoint you, he's busy - trying to clean up your mess!"

Himiko sighed as she drew her knife. Using her stealth, she easily maneuvered behind Ochako and lept at her, pinning her to the ground. She wasn't planning on actually killing the young hero, she just wanted answers, but she still admired Ochako's fiery defiance as she held her back.

Leaning in, she asked her question. "Do you want to kill me, Ochako-chan?"

The question seemed to actually offend Ochako. "Of course not! I'm a hero! I want to save people!"

"But what about your precious number one hero? Endeavor has killed people, and abused his own family."

"You're right, he shouldn't be the top hero, but he is because your group forced All Might into retirement!"

That surprised Himiko. Doesn't she know?

Ochako continued, her voice softer this time. "I don't want to kill you, but I still plan on arresting you."

She used Himiko's moment of weakness to throw her off, before leaping after her. "Heroes shouldn't hate villains. They should be caring and compassionate! They should be fighting to protect people!"

Himiko wildly swung her knife to force Ochako back. "When I love someone, I want to become them. It's why I wanted to talk to you - I want to know how you think. I want to know how Izu-kun thinks, and Tsu-chan, and Emmy-chan. And eventually, I will know you enough that I can become you. It's who I am."

"That's not normal though!"

"I know!" Himiko spat back. "I am not normal! And society hates me for it!" She felt the tears threatening to spill out. "It's why I am fighting - I want to live in a society that is willing to accept me for who I am!"

I want to live in a world where people are willing to fight for my happiness.

Ochako seemed taken back by her admission. "But what you're doing is wrong! If you keep fighting the way you are, there will be consequences! And you have to accept those consequences!" Ochako yelled as she darted towards Himiko, grabbing her arm and throwing her, slamming her into a wall.

"That's easy for you to say!" Himiko yelled, her tears falling freely. "You have parents who care about you!"

You're not tormented by dreams of a happier life.

She jumped at Ochako, but found herself thrown into a wall as Tsuyu burst into the room, intercepting her with a kick that sent her flying.

Stumbling, she pushed herself up. She couldn't take both heroes at once, especially not with her vision blurring. So she did the only thing she could do.

She ran.

She thought she heard Ochako calling out for her, she wished it wasn't just a figment of her imagination, but she knew better than to get her hopes up.

She is the same Ochako-chan, but her dreams of connecting with the girl were just that - dreams.

She didn't know why, but she found herself at her old home. Of course her parents had taken Hifumi and fled, like the cowards they were. She wasn't expecting them to be there. But somehow she was still surprised to see that her house had been ransacked, and graffiti demonizing her covered its walls.

I guess when I was put on a most wanted list it wasn't hard for the neighbors to figure it out. She thought bitterly.

She went into her bedroom, and reminisced - she remembered when she dreamed she was her friend, or a bird, able to fly free. Those were happier dreams. Before she began to dream about herself, living an impossible life.

Walking outside, she saw Dabi - no, Toya Todoroki, waiting for her.

"Feeling sentimental?"

Himiko shook her head. "No, I just wanted to take care of my parents - if they were still here."

"Looks like they left a while ago."

"Of course they did." She turned back towards the house. "They were always cowards."

"Are you ready for what we are about to do?"

The question took Himiko off guard. "What?"

"Are you prepared to end the world?" Dabi asked her.

"Of course!" She replied. A lie, but lies came easily to her. She was lying to herself every day, after all. "It would be a little late to back out now."

It was too late for her from the moment she attacked Saito.

"At the end of it all, you can either face it smiling or crying. I plan on facing it with a smile." Dabi told her, before he raised his hand and started burning down her old house. "You need to decide how you want to face it, as well."

As she watched the fire dancing across the house, Himiko turned away from Dabi. She didn't want him to see the tears that were threatening to fall.

Why couldn't I have run into Izuku-kun like I did in my dreams?

One moment Himiko was summoned by All For One, and the next she found herself disoriented and trapped in a cage. But this wasn't enough to stop them! She recovered in an instant and, with the help of the other villains, managed to break out. But that was only the first part of the trap.

As soon as they had broken out, she found herself being shoved through a portal. The next thing she knew, she was someplace unexpected - near the coast, if she had to guess. In front of her stood Ochako and Tsuyu, as well as several other heroes she didn't immediately recognize.

I guess this is how it's supposed to end.

Hopping to her feet, Himiko looked back. She didn't have time to make it through the portal and escape a second time. But a random chance, or perhaps it was fate, decided to give her an opportunity. Looking at the portal, she saw them. They weren't looking at her, but through the portal, she saw Izuku and Polaris.

Ever since her last encounter with Ochako, she has spent a lot of time thinking about her choices. Perhaps too much time. And the more time went on, the less real her dreams felt - that life felt more and more distant and unrealistic with every passing day - but her dreams of a different life still filled her with longing. Delusions from a mind that wanted a life of happiness, but was cruelly denied at every turn.

It is too late to have that life, but it may not be too late to salvage my actual life. I know Izu, and I know Chako. If I talk to them, they will listen. They'll help me, I just have to ask!

And Polaris isn't my Emily, but I am not her Himiko either. I don't care - I still love her. Maybe someday she can love someone like me back.

Making up her mind, she launched two of her syringes through the portals with practiced precision. As she had hoped, she caught both heroes off guard and dragged them through the portal to her.

I don't want to destroy the world.

Maybe I should follow my dreams.

AN: This ended up being a weirdly compelling piece to write, hopefully you all enjoy it!

I'm also including Emily in canon because Horikoshi has yet to show that class 2 doesn't have a loud American girl whose quirk lets her create light-based projectiles. If I'm being honest, Atsuko would have been the better choice for the role, but without Himiko to push her in that direction, in canon Atsuko never became a hero.