CONFESSIONS OF A DOMESTIC FAILURE

The title says it all. Who's ready to check in on Galaxy's #1 Dad?

Kallus had been a part of his share of awkward speeder rides. There was the speeder ride after he'd picked fifteen-year-old Angelica up from a party she wasn't supposed to be at. Then the trip from Atollon to Yavin made that look like a pleasure cruise. But it was nothing, nothing compared to the ride from the medcenter to the Piece of Crap II.

Once the discharge papers were signed and everything was in order on the medical side Maddie insisted on walking them out, probably to make sure no one was murdered in the parking lot. He took the lead with Philip's carrier in hand, trying to tune out the sound of Maddie pushing Swain's wheelchair or Cogon's limping gait.

You only have to make it to the speeder and then you can focus on driving, he told himself. It won't be so bad. You can avoid as much as possible.

But before he could reach his driver's seat sanctuary Sierra, apparently remembering the last time he drove while under stress, cut him off and slid behind the wheel herself.

Everyone else froze while the possible seating arrangements whizzed through Kallus' head. Should he sit in the passenger seat, leaving Philip with Swain and Cogon? Or get in the backseat with the baby and have to sit with one of them?

In the end Maddie made the decision for them when she drove Swain up to the passenger seat and opened the door. "This way the knock on your head won't make you carsick."

Swain got in with only a little trepidation. "Thank you Maddie."

Kallus added a tally mark to his mental list of times the Bethesda Memorial staff had come through for him and managed to give Maddie a strained smile and wave as she walked away. Then he secured Philip's carseat and climbed into the back with Cogon. The doors shut, and they were off.

The ensuing ride was filled with the most awkward silence he'd ever endured. Sierra made valiant attempts at trying to talk about nothing but all she got were nods and murmurs. Kallus would have tried to keep the talk going but he was too busy staring at the back of Swain's head and the outline of a bruise just beginning to form. She said she'd only been hit in the head once, but what other wounds did she have? Could there be something internal that the medcenter just didn't know about? The instinct to look her over for injury and find out who had tried to kill her screamed in the back of his mind.

But he couldn't. Not only would Swain not allow it, what right did he have to worry?

Sierra made a hard right and they were home. Kallus didn't waste a second crawling out of the speeder like a castaway onto dry land. Stars above, Piece of Crap II had never looked sweeter.

"Have you two had dinner?" Sierra asked and went to unbuckle Philip. "We have burgers, nuna breasts…"

"We're okay," Swain said. "Thank you for the offer though."

"Da!" Philip babbled and grabbed at the dangly toys hanging off the top of his carseat. "Buu!"

Thank you stars, at least one of my kids likes me. "That's right Philip, the toy is blue. Isn't it a pretty shade of blue?"

Philip squealed in reply and Swain cracked a smile. "How old are you, little guy?"

"Six months," Sierra answered, hoisting the baby out of the seat. "And growing like a weed. We'll have to get him new clothes again soon."

She stood up with Philip on her shoulder and he looked around to see where he was now and who had him. Sierra and Kallus barely got a second glance, he looked at Cogon a bit longer, but when he set his eyes on Swain the little flirt grin came back full force, the hands reached out, and he waved his arms like he could pull her in.

Sierra noticed and held Philip out. "Would you like to hold him?"

Swain hedged. "I don't want to scare him seeing as I'm a stranger."

"Oh he loves people." Sierra was already handing Philip over. "Just don't let him get ahold of your hair."

"Does he like to -?" her unfinished question was answered when Philip grabbed the end of her ponytail and stuck it in his mouth.

"Woah, little buddy!" Cogon pulled his wife's hair free with a practiced hand. "That's not for eating."

The baby squalled and waved his little arms in protest.

"At least it's not an earring," Kallus muttered, remembering the painful and rather bloody incident when they learned Philip liked to pull things.

Cogon ignored him. "Check it out Hannah," he pointed to the design on Philip's shirt. "Brylks!"

"Brylks? Do you like the north too, buddy?" The sad smile left Swain's face and she bounced Philip and sang a few bars of a quiet, haunting song. "Between the here, between the now."

"That's the old language." Sierra startled. "Where did you learn Onderonian?"

Swain switched back to Basic. "We lived on Blackhold Isle for three years. You pick things up."

"Is that how you met Dalla?"

"She brought us to the north and helped us get settled in," Cogon explained. "It's a nice place for sure. We only left because of our jobs."

"Well we'd love to take Philip someday." Sierra looked to her son and smiled. "But I think he'd be content never to leave his spot. He loves you."

Philip laid his head on Swain's shoulder and burbled agreement.

Swain tickled him. "He's too cute."

"Will you walk with me to the nursery to put him down?" Sierra led the way and before they disappeared down the corridor, looked over her shoulder and mouthed say something!

He checked to make sure Cogon wasn't looking before replying with a mixture of gestures and unspoken spousal communication that roughly translated to like what?!

Sierra sighed but turned around and went with Swain, leaving him with Cogon and the distinct sense this conversation wasn't over.

As soon as the women were gone Cogon zeroed in on him. "Let's get one thing clear. I don't like you. In fact I hate you with the white-hot heat of a thousand suns, and if I beat you to a bloody pulp it wouldn't even come close to satisfying my anger for how you hurt Hannah and me. The only reason I haven't tried to punch you out is because I don't want to upset your wife, and Hannah doesn't need to deal with a fistfight on top of everything."

He couldn't really blame the man for his anger. "I just want to get this over with as quickly and painlessly as possible."

"I would suggest making yourself scarce."

However possible that is on a ship this size. "I'll do my best to stay out of your way."

"It's a start," Cogon grumbled and limped away. Kallus studied it as he left. Cogon hadn't had the limp the last time they saw each other.

Cogon noticed. "Don't want to bring it up?" He asked, gesturing to his leg. "Then I will. It's a souvenir from your friend Beck. Can't say I enjoyed getting it."

Kallus' mouth went dry. How was he supposed to respond to that, say he was sorry? Sorry didn't even come close and saying it would probably set Cogon off.

Luckily Swain returned with Philip before the silence got too awkward. "He won't go down and Sierra had to take a comm," she explained lamely.

The poor kid was probably overstimulated with all the new people and experiences in his short life. Kallus could relate. "You can put him in his high chair if you want and I'll try again in a little bit."

"That's the problem. He starts screaming when I -." She tried to put Philip into his highchair and the second he detached from her shoulder the baby screamed like he was in mortal agony and pulled at her shirt in an attempt to hang on.

The wide neck of her shirt slid down her arm, revealing the edge of a large tattoo between her shoulder blades. Kallus couldn't look away, not because it wasn't there the one time he'd seen her upper back, but because of the thin white scars woven alongside the ink.

Those had come from a handheld laser cutter, a weapon that cauterized with a touch for minimal bleeding but hurt like a thousand knives. A personal favorite of Commander Alecia Beck. Swain…

But before he could again sink into self-loathing the door beeped acceptance of the door code and a newcomer lumbered up the boarding ramp. "Anybody home?"

Karabast. As if today couldn't get any more complicated.

…

Sierra hadn't intended to leave Swain alone with a suddenly-clingy Philip. They were just trying to put him down the first time when her comlink rang and after everything that happened today, she really needed to answer whoever it was. Swain assured her they'd be fine for a few more minutes.

After thanking both the gods and Swain, Sierra ducked into her and Alex's room to take the holo call. Steela's figure hadn't even fully materialized before she started talking. "I just heard the news from Lux. Alex has a second kid?!"

"A kid who we just found out we can refer to in the present tense today. Yup, he does." Sierra reached for the handy-dandy single serving bottle of wine for when she and Alex didn't want to walk all the way to the galley for a drink, and popped off the top. Thank goodness for formula feeding, because she had a feeling she wasn't going to survive without her Family Drama Juice.

"I thought he wasn't in any kind of serious relationship before you."

"It's Hannah Swain. Remember her from the Lothal job?"

"That sweet kid who went on the date?" Steela's brow furrowed. "How's that a problem? You said it yourself, she idolized him."

"Sure did before she defected and he chased her down, arrested her, and handed her over to the ISB." Sierra took a long swig of her wine.

Steela's jaw dropped. "What the actual - his own kid? Sierra, who did you marry?!"

"Someone who regrets it so much he almost had a breakdown when he finally told me. It was the darkest, lowest point in his life."

"Only you would marry into the one family in the galaxy more messed-up than ours." Steela shuddered but re-centered herself. "Where are they now?"

"Well I tried to facilitate dinner but that didn't work out," she rubbed her head. "Now Swain is Philip's new number one and Alex is about to-."

"You seriously did the baby therapy on her?"

"Hey, it worked on me!"

"You know what, maybe this is a good thing. Maybe having them together will force them to confront their problems."

"Oh it's gonna force a confrontation all right." Sierra took another swig when the door notification beeped. "Who's here at -?"

"Anyone home?" She felt rather than heard Zeb Orrelios make his presence known and her head snapped to the wall calendar. What was he doing here - oh wait, he was right on time. To be fair, no one could really blame her for forgetting about Zeb's bi-weekly visit today.

Hey, at least having Philip's favorite purple uncle around would be helpful in that they didn't have to deal with the baby in the midst of - oh kriff! Swain and Cogon!

From the look on Steela's face she'd put it together too. "You'd better chug that wine."

Sierra was way ahead of her. She didn't even bother screwing the cap back on the empty bottle before she ran for the common room.

Zeb it seems had beaten her there. "Sorry I'm late, but Ezra wanted to tag along and - karabast!" He snarled. "What's she doing here?"

Sierra skidded into the common room so fast she almost wondered if sparks were trailing in her wake. Zeb filled the opposite doorway, glaring at Swain and obviously trying to reconcile his prior knowledge of the young woman as an Imperial agent with the gauze bandage stuck to her head and the oblivious Philip cooing happily in her arms.

For her part Swain looked half terrified and half annoyed, like just what I need, an angry Lasat coming for revenge. Coming of age on Kallus' Lasat stories surely hadn't done great things for her perception of the species.

"Zeb," Sierra said between gasps of breath. "So good to see you."

"Yeah I'll bet." Zeb's hand itched for the place the bo-rifle was usually strapped to his back. "Just say the word Sierra, and I'll take her out. The little agent won't menace ya anymore."

"Ex-agent." Swain corrected him dryly. "And for the record, my husband and I just got here. We have nothing to do with him."

Sierra stepped between them before this got physical. "Zeb, meet Swain and Cogon, our … friends," She deadpanned, trying and failing to come up with the correct title for their sudden houseguests. "Swain, Cogon, this is Zeb. He's Philip's godfather and Alex's best friend."

"You and Kallus are best friends?" Swain asked skeptically.

"Well we didn't kill each other and then I officiated his wedding, so I guess so." Zeb rubbed the back of his neck.

"He's best friends with a Lasat." Swain said to herself, then burst out in loud, hysterical laughter.

Zeb looked at Sierra like what in the name of karabastin' Lasan is going on here.

"I'm sorry," Swain wiped her eyes with her free hand. "I don't know why I'm … ha, ha, ha! It's good to meet you, Zeb. You can see Philip if you want." Another peal of laughter cut her off and she shook her head. "I'm going to bed."

With that she handed Philip over to Zeb and about faced down the corridor, shaking with laughter.

Sierra watched her go. Honestly she was shocked Swain's brain hadn't overloaded earlier.

"I, uh, should go with her." Cogon said and followed.

Zeb stared as they walked away and then raised an eyebrow.

"Alex," he said. "What just happened?"