okaaay so after coming back from spending my holidays in mexico i was suddenly hit with the inspiration for this story. it's not my best work but i tried anyway so i hope you all enjoy :)
"Kil! Killua! Killua, come back here right now!"
His mother's hysterical cries followed him all the way to the front door, her high-pitched screeches pounding against his head like painful vibrations. He ignored her, walking past Illumi's unblinking sharp-eyed gaze, Milluki's seething glare, Kalluto's quiet stare, and his father's silent warning.
He stormed past it all, needing to get out. To get out before his family made him finally snap beyond recognition.
He heard his father, Silva, begin to speak before the front door slammed shut between them, cutting off their tiresome voices from reaching his ears. Killua didn't know where he would go, he just knew he had to get far, far, far away from their thorny fingers.
Sighing internally, Killua made his way down the rental beach house's driveway, not looking back once.
Fucking hell.
He missed Alluka so much. Not only had his crazy family decide to spend a whole month of their summer vacation in the middle of nowhere (on an itty-bitty island that wasn't even on the world map) and forced him to come along with them, they had also left Alluka totally out!
She wasn't here, stuck on Whale Island with him, but was left back at home, alone in Kukuroo Mountain.
A part of Killua was grateful she wasn't here. Alluka didn't have to deal with all the screaming and arguing, didn't have to deal with all the cruel words, didn't have to deal with all the fucking stress the Zoldycks seemed to like piling up on Killua.
But gosh, was it hard for Killua to wake up each day without seeing her reassuring smile.
Video calls could only help so much.
Tilting his head upwards, Killua noticed the island's dark starry sky. It was almost midnight, he realized. Alluka was definitely asleep, miles and miles away in peaceful slumber. He couldn't wake her up, not for this.
This was their fifth day in Whale Island, spending time as a family in their supposed "vacation spot" but Killua already knew it was all a mirage. An illusion. A lie.
The true reason his parents were staying here was for the family business. Apparently, they had a big job coming up in Yorknew City. The employers were currently undercover on Whale Island, confident that the government would never think to check here of all places for shady goings-on.
Killua had fought but was unsuccessful. He was dragged here against his will, forced to spend his school-free days bored out of his mind. Illumi breathed down his neck day in and day out, watching his every move like some kind of stalker. Milluki never left the beach house, glued to his computer screens and violent video games. Kalluto wasn't insufferable, but he was still annoying – never saying anything to Killua and always a step behind their mother. Their mother, Kikyo, was the worst. She brought up Killua's responsibilities as heir to the Zoldyck business every single dinner, trying to snatch him with her long nails. To chain him in place. Silva was bearable, but even he would sometimes grow frustrated with Killua's nonchalance and order him back to his room as punishment.
Killua had never wanted summer vacation to end so quickly so badly.
He had run away from them tonight, absolutely and utterly done with all their bullshit and high expectations and yelling matches. His father had allowed it, for some reason, probably assuming Killua would return eventually.
Ha. If only.
Killua found himself walking on the seashore, watching with strange calmness as the island's azure blue waves slid in and out, dragging bits and pieces of the sandy beach back with them into the ocean. The crashing sounds of the waves felt almost like a caress. The wind against the endless trees beyond the coastline left a gentle touch. And Killua just wanted to forget for a moment, to stop thinking about wanting to disappear.
He felt so different from them, so out of place even Killua himself couldn't understand what was wrong with him.
Killua had never felt so alone, even if Alluka was just one phone call away.
After what felt like forever, he finally reached the end of the long path. He stayed in place for a full minute, staring straight ahead with his hands in his pockets and his white bangs tickling his eyes.
He felt a sudden urge to scream, to let it all out. To grieve for the miserable home the universe had given him.
But Killua stopped, throat abruptly clogging closed when he caught a glimpse of a boy sitting lonesome on the beach a few yards away.
The boy didn't detect him, how could he when Killua's footsteps were trained to have no sound? It allowed Killua to observe the boy without his knowledge. He seemed to be around Killua's age, sixteen-ish, and was sitting with his knees pulled all the way up to his chin.
The boy was looking far into the sea, longing painted across his face and body.
Killua wondered if this boy was searching for an answer from the universe too.
He began turning around to leave when out of nowhere, the boy chose to surprise him.
"I've never seen you around before."
Motionless, Killua was rooted to the ground, eyes blown wide from the boy's sudden declaration. And here Killua thought he had easily hidden himself into the shadows, just like he was taught to do since birth. How long had this boy known he was there?
Slowly, Killua faced the stranger, finding a pair of the most luminescent golden eyes he had ever seen looking directly at him. They were like the glowing stars of the night sky, brimming with an intense energy. Cutting through him like a blade.
Killua could do nothing but continue staring back at him, silent and alert. But there was nothing there, nothing but plain curiosity in the boy's gaze.
He wasn't looking at Killua with distrust like all his classmates back in Padokea did, he wasn't looking at Killua with haughtiness like all the shady underworlders in his family's workplace did.
The boy suddenly smiled, not blinking away from their "stare battle" of sorts, golden-brown eyes shining with accumulating interest.
Killua found himself replying. Why? Who knew.
"That makes sense," he said.
When the boy raised an eyebrow in question, Killua opened his mouth to speak again. Why? Who knew.
"...um, because you know, I'm not from around here…" Killua finished lamely, jerking his gaze away from the boy's, which in turn, broke their heavy eye contact. Killua sensed he had lost somehow, even if their "stare battle" wasn't something said out loud. Or, even acknowledged as a thing anywhere else but inside his mind.
"Oh!" The boy exclaimed, his smile transforming itself into a large grin. "You're a tourist! Yeah, we get a lot of those during the summer. My Aunt Mito says it's our responsibility to make sure you guys leave happy!"
"Happy?" Killua asked, confused.
So this boy was a native. Born in Whale Island. Okay then.
"Happy with Whale Island! So you can come back."
"Huh," Killua deadpanned, not knowing how to react. "How is it your responsibility? Aren't there always gonna be tourists who just don't like it here no matter what?"
"Never," The boy admonished, brow furrowed. His hair was the color of soot in the darkness of the night, but Killua made out a tint of green in the spikes, illuminated by the silver moon above their heads.
Strangely, Killua really wanted to learn this boy's name. It was like an itch in his bones.
"Really? Everyone?" Killua's tone of voice was mocking. Scornful. No matter how much he urged to discover the boy's name, his naivety was also making Killua sort of want to pull his hair out in exasperation. "I'm sure there's someone, anyone, somebody somewhere out there who doesn't want to come back."
Killua didn't realize how much his words hit close to home and was confused when the brazen boy's determination suddenly dimmed a little, his eyes losing their confidence.
"I…" he struggled to find a counterargument, and Killua knew he won this round. For some reason, the pride he felt from the win drained as quickly as it came when the boy's smile also disappeared.
He felt bad and was desperate for a way to end the awkward tension but the boy surprised him yet again by standing up, fists clenched tightly and stare so sharp, it pinned Killua frozen.
"Well, what about you? Do you want to visit Whale Island again?"
This was the boy's hometown, Killua knew, so he should probably lie to him. Tell him that yes, he would love to come back in the future. But something about the boy's presence just made Killua want to spill everything from his heart.
These feelings bewildered him.
"Not really, sorry. My family's making this 'vacation' hell. I'd rather be at home with my sister."
Killua instantly regretted exposing his real thoughts to a stranger, but the boy didn't judge or miss a beat in telling him something so otherworldly it caused Killua's heart to skip.
Skip.
Which had never happened before.
"Well, I'll prove you wrong! This is gonna be the best, most awesomest vacation of your life! Leave everything to me!"
He pointed to himself, grinning like a champion. Like a madman. And just as quickly as he appeared in Killua's depressing life, he jumped up, waved goodbye, and ran down opposite of the coastline, shouting "meet me here at the beach tomorrow at 2 pm!"
Killua was speechless and watched in shock as the unnamed boy grew further and further away.
"Wait!" Killua finally found his voice, grasping reason with his fingertips. "Why the hell should I? I don't even know you! You don't even know me!"
"I'm Gon!" Gon shouted over his shoulder, giving Killua the biggest beam of his life, shining bright like the sun. "And you're my friend now!"
"What?!" Killua squawked, alarmed but Gon was almost entirely gone from his sight now, like a dream fading out into nothingness.
Killua never had a friend before. His family didn't allow it. But that didn't mean Killua never yearned.
Hoped.
And the six-letter word repeated inside his head in never ending echoes. The word was something so sacred, so unfamiliar, Killua didn't recognize it.
Gon. Friend.
"I'm Killua!" Was the last thing that came out of his mouth, once his brain started working again, a yell he had no idea if Gon even heard because of the distance separating them.
But it didn't matter. Not anymore.
Because this boy, Gon, would quickly become his salvation and downfall all at once.
The next day. At 2 pm on the dot, Killua found himself on the beach, standing at the same spot Gon had proclaimed them to be friends.
The sun was beating down harshly, the sand under his feet burning hot. Cicadas and birdsong were as loud as bombs, combining with the sound of lapping waves. Out in the distance, the blare of a cargo ship resonated with the flapping wind.
Killua traced the footprints of a crab with his finger, lightly touching the grains of sand. Why in the world was he here? To meet up with a random boy? Much less one he had met in the middle of the night?
It was so stupid even Alluka would laugh at him.
Reaching for the back pocket of his jeans, Killua pulled out his phone and facetimed his sister, realizing he had forgotten to tell her about what was going on.
The phone rang twice before Alluka picked up, blue eyes wide and a toothy smile in place.
"Brother!" she sang, giggling brightly. "What are you calling me for?"
"Hey. I think I'm making a mistake," Killua muttered, rubbing his face tiredly. Why was he still here? Why was he waiting for Gon?
"Why?" Alluka was frowning now. "What happened?"
After telling her the whole story, albeit a bit more dramatic than necessary, he had expected her to sigh and shake her head, calling him out for his dumb decisions. Instead, she startled him by whooping loudly, jumping up and down on her bed.
"Alluka!" he gaped in concern, watching through the small phone screen as his crazy sister kept bouncing around in excitement. "What are you…?"
"Brother!" she laughed, eyes sparkling. "I'm so happy for you! We've never had a friend before. And now you have one!"
"I don't think you're listening to me. This is a mistake. Why the fuck should I see him again?"
"'Cuz y'all are friends!"
"No, ugh, Alluka I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. Besides, he's probably weird and I just decided this without thinking. I should go back. Not that I want to though. Mom and Illumi are ruining my life. I can't wait for this to be over."
"But why Brother? I mean, yeah, I'm sorry about Mom and Illumi. I wish I was there to be with you through that. But…um, but this is an amazing chance to finally talk to someone! He seems nice, yeah he might be weird but you're weird too."
"Hey!"
"Sorry. But what I mean is…what's so bad about meeting someone new? Just hang out for today and see what happens. Besides, he's from Whale Island so I'm sure he'll know all about the great spots! You'll have fun, you'll see."
"I'm not so sure…"
"Yeah, well, too bad. You're there now so might as well just go with it."
Killua groaned, throwing his head back in defeat. He kind of saw his sister's point of view. But that didn't mean he'd suddenly start enjoying his stay on the island. He still wanted to go back home.
Even if home wasn't really…home. Just a cold mansion surrounded by tall, fortified walls.
"You know," Killua began, knowing his sister's reaction before he finished. "I'm gonna make a list of pros and cons about this place. Just so you know it's not all that great. Besides constantly fighting with them, I hate how Whale Island has bad WiFi."
It was now Alluka who groaned, rolling her eyes at her brother's negativity.
"I'm serious! I'm looking at you right now and it's so grainy I'm surprised my phone hasn't disconnected the call."
And it was true, the phone kept repeating the words poor connection. Killua could barely make out Alluka's features in detail. Whale Island had horrible internet reception. Milluki was probably going nuts.
"Alright Brother, I'm saying bye now. Have fun!"
"Wait!" Killua hovered over his phone but his sister only mouthed goodbye and ended the video chat.
For a minute, Killua could do nothing but just sit there, feeling hopeless. It went away quickly once he sensed the approaching presence of a person behind him.
Turning around, his body formed a defensive stance, waiting for the attack but the attack never came.
"Killua!" Gon smiled, waving at him. He was running down the beach strip, wearing a simple white shirt and green shorts. He was also carrying a backpack and a fishing pole, both the same color of his shorts.
His eyes, which looked gold during the night, were now a shade darker during the day, like chocolate-covered hazelnuts. His hair was still as spiky as Killua remembered and his tanned skin, decorated in sun freckles, was muddling Killua's senses like crazy for some unknown reason.
Gon reached him and Killua couldn't help but blurt out his first question.
"Hey, how old are you?"
Gon blinked. "I'm sixteen years old."
Hmmm…so we are the same age.
Gon waited patiently for Killua's next question, but Killua had nothing else to ask. Yet.
"Guess I'll be seeing this through." Was all he said at the end.
Gon didn't seem to mind his cryptic words, just smiling at him like he hadn't heard anything.
"Where are we going?"
Killua had followed Gon through the island's woods for some time now, comfortable quietness between them. They had talked a little about how much longer Killua would be staying (approximately four weeks) and Gon started thinking about what he would show him first, focused entirely on his thoughts.
"To meet Kon, my foxbear."
Killua startled and looked at Gon besides him, who was utterly unaware of how fictitious he sounded.
"You…have a pet foxbear?"
"Not really a pet…but more like a friend. My friend foxbear."
"Uh-huh. I won't believe it until I see it."
Gon grinned at him, liking the challenge. Killua was quickly understanding Gon's personality.
They continued to tread through the foliage and trees, leaves crunching beneath their shoes and breathing in the sunlight streaming through the branches. A part of Killua finally started noticing the beauty of Whale Island's wilderness, like a watercolor painting coming to life. The Kukuroo Mountain Forest was pale in comparison, pitch dark and intimidating in more ways than one.
"I like coming here. Not just to see Kon, but all the other animals. It's a nice way to distract yourself," Gon finally said. They climbed over a few fallen rocks overgrown with moss, keeping an eye on each other's footing.
"Distract yourself? What do you have to distract yourself from?" Killua snorted, not caring that he might've sounded unkind. Gon showed zero signs of someone who needed to get away from the real world.
He appeared very happy. Killua refused to believe someone like Gon had ghosts, haunting his sleep and dreams.
Gon didn't respond and Killua felt like an idiot. He opened his mouth to apologize but Gon beat him to it.
"Sometimes, it gets very lonely. Here, on Whale Island."
Killua had nothing to say. At first. Then he had the urge to blurt, "I get it" and step closer to the dark-haired boy but they reached a hidden cave, wide enough for a full grown foxbear to fit through.
"Gon," Killua warned but the island boy crouched a few feet away from the entrance, ignoring his heeds.
"Kon!" Gon whispered-yelled, hands around his mouth. "Come out! I want you to meet Killua, my friend."
Friend. There was that word again. It threw Killua off. In a good way.
Kon came out, slowly and wary but as soon as he saw Gon, the foxbear made some sort of happy greeting sound and let Gon touch his fur.
Killua could only watch in surprise as the foxbear didn't attack Gon. It was going against everything Killua knew about wild animals. But Kon was tame and docile, rubbing his head against Gon's.
Gon's laughter caused a pleasant shiver to run up Killua's spine. There was something so nice about Gon's laughter, like the tinkling of wind chimes. Killua decided he quite liked Gon's laughter.
"Come closer Killua. He won't bite."
"Uh…" Killua hesitated but Gon's unwavering eyes told him it was okay.
So he inched closer. One step at a time.
Once he was right next to Gon, the boy grabbed his hand - warm palm meeting cold palm - and held it close for Kon to smell.
Killua's heart rate picked up speed, but he didn't move, partly because of trying not to scare the foxbear and partly because of Gon's strong grip.
"Gon," Killua wanted to stop the panic building up, but it was coming now, whether he wanted it or not. "Wait, stop. I-I don't think Kon will like me. Let me go."
Killua tried pulling his hand out of the way, but Gon was unrelenting.
Killua was in a full-blown panic, knowing that Kon would smell the bad in him. The evil all Zoldycks except Alluka had ingrained in their souls. Animals didn't like him very much and it wasn't too hard to see why.
He was not a good person. It was why no one liked him. It was why he never had friends.
It was why being here with Gon was a mistake in the first place.
Killua jerked back with all his strength, but it was too late. Kon had smelled him.
For a second, the world slowed to a stop. No sound reverberated from the forest, the sky, the ocean, Gon next to him.
Killua held his breath for the onslaught that would come next but in a mysterious turn of events, Kon accepted him and snuggled closer to his pale scarred hand.
Killua's jaw dropped.
"See! I knew it! Kon likes you! He doesn't like just anyone, but I knew he'd like you. Just how I like you."
Killua's head whipped around to stare at Gon, eyes wide and face red.
"What–"
But Gon only grinned at him, eyes shut in upside down crescent moons. "Now I have two friends. You and Kon."
"Gon," Killua huffed in exasperation but continued to pet the foxbear. He did have very soft reddish-brown fur, and it was very nice. "You're crazy."
"So what?" Gon stuck out his tongue and Killua had to repeat to himself that yes, Gon was sixteen years old. Sixteen. Although he acted so childish it was mind boggling.
Killua couldn't deny he sort of, maybe, liked Gon too. As a friend.
Before the day ended, Killua learned that Gon loved nature and animals. He blended easily into the environment; a true inhabitant born on Whale Island.
He taught Killua about all the plants, which ones gave fruit and which ones to avoid. He taught Killua all the secret paths and caves. He taught Killua how to climb trees and was pleasantly surprised when Killua did it before he could even finish the tutorial.
Killua realized he liked showing off to Gon. To make his eyes shine with wonderment.
They continued their exploration and although Killua was sure Gon had already discovered every crook and nanny of the small island, it felt like something new. To both of them.
Gon challenged him to a race to a particular lake deep within the woods and Killua ran before Gon finished explaining the rules.
He heard Gon whine and chase after him and Killua had never felt so alive.
They ran and ran and ran, pushing each other, tumbling together, tripping over each other's feet, laughing all the while.
It was too fast, too short, but they made it to the lake. Gon pulled out his fishing pole, given to him by his Aunt Mito to catch the Lord of the Lake, a fish so big it consumed small animals as food.
They stayed on top of a tree for hours, Gon teaching him how to use the rod. They laughed and shouted whenever the string pulled, and it took the two of them to pull out the fish from the water.
"That was awesome!" Gon smiled ear to ear, glancing at Killua joyfully. "Did you have fun?"
Killua took a moment to respond. He wished he could lie; it always came easy to him. But being with Gon, bewitched by his kindness and dumbness for a whole day, made it very hard for Killua to fabricate his emotions.
"Do I have to say it? God, that's embarrassing." Killua rubbed his neck, feeling warm under Gon's intense focus.
"No, I won't force you." Gon's smile never left his face, just calmed a little. But there was something in Gon's eyes that told Killua he had already known the answer.
It was close to midnight now. The sky had darkened a while back, the ebony panorama a canvas full of a thousand stars. There was no light pollution in Whale Island. Just clouds and stars and pure fun coursing through his veins by spending time with this miracle of an island boy.
"Okay, I have to go now. Aunt Mito's probably worried. Although I always do this. Stay out, I mean. But if Aunt Mito is still awake, then Abe is still awake. And I need them to get some sleep."
Aunt Mito and Abe. And Kon. Gon's family.
"Yeah, of course." Killua nodded and felt an ache in his chest. For what? He didn't know.
"Do you want me to walk you back to your house?"
Killua looked up from his shoes and saw through a curtain of white locks Gon looking at him, eyebrows raised in amusement.
Killua shook his head. Walking me back to my home…
It sounded strangely intimate. But if Illumi or anybody else from his family caught sight of Gon, Killua knew there would be severe consequences.
And Killua would never put Gon in danger. Ever.
"No," he shook his head again, more harshly this time. "I know my way back."
"Okay," Gon smiled easily and stopped to take his phone out. It was an older model, something Killua wondered if it even sold in stores anymore. "Can I have your phone number?"
"Why?" Killua regretted his question immediately. Stupid.
Gon giggled. "To text you! How else am I supposed to meet up with you tomorrow?"
Killua's cheeks reddened. He felt his throat start to tremble, just a little. Barely noticeable.
"Okay…" he whispered and gave Gon his phone number.
"My family," Killua couldn't stop the sudden words tumbling out of his mouth. They were necessary for Gon to understand. "Is very strict. They'd be mad if they knew I was texting you. I-If I don't reply fast…it's not me, I swear."
Killua prepared himself for the disappointment in Gon's eyes. Who would want to be friends with someone like him? Unavailable and unreachable because of his family and their horrible control over him?
But Gon didn't waver or back down. The boy - Killua's friend he had to remind himself, his first friend in his life - just smiled and nodded.
"Got it," he said. "So, before we come up with a plan for you to escape, no texting until the coast is clear."
"Gon," Killua inhaled in awe. But the boy was already walking away, similar to their first encounter, only waving goodbye and disappearing behind a few trees.
Back in his bed, after a long hot shower, Killua pulled out his phone and hesitated over the text bubble. He wanted to talk to Gon again. He couldn't sleep. His thoughts were a constant jumble of his new friend. Every one of Gon's smiles were plastered in his head like photographs. They wouldn't leave.
But he knew Gon was most likely already asleep. The island boy had told him he was more of a morning person than a night owl. The complete opposite of Killua.
Killua clicked his tongue and left the messaging app. Instead, he opened his notes app (which didn't have many) and began typing on the pros and cons list he and Alluka had talked earlier about.
WHALE ISLAND
CON # 1 - BAD WIFI, POOR CONNECTION
PRO # 1 - PRETTY FOREST, BIG LAKE, LONG BEACH, MANY ANIMALS, BLUE OCEAN, CONSTELLATIONS, NEW PLANTS, CHIRPING SOUNDS, FRESH AIR, TALL TREES, SOFT SAND, KON AND…
Nature. Killua nodded. I liked Whale Island's nature.
He stopped typing. It was enough for one night, he decided. The desire to leave Whale Island and go back to Kukuroo Mountain was like a burning hurricane inside of him. But that was before he met Gon. Now, it was barely a storm. A great reduction in size, Killua thought.
However, that didn't mean the hurricane wouldn't come back. Maybe in an even worse state than in the beginning.
Killua tried to force himself to stop thinking so negatively. Alluka would not like him to act like this, and Gon…
Gon took time out of his day to make the hurricane leave.
It worked. Because before Killua knew it, he was falling asleep. Something so rare since his insomnia was relentless.
But it was easier to fall asleep now that he had something to look forward to tomorrow.
Killua wondered if this was how it felt like to fall asleep after a day full of fun. Eager to sleep for the next one.
Unsurprisingly, his dreams were full of an island boy's smile.
They were swimming in the ocean, eyes red from saltwater and skin unrecognizably wrinkled. Gon was splashing him, laughing joyfully at Killua's spluttering. As soon as his vision cleared, Killua sprayed water back, snickering loudly at Gon's protests.
It had been a week and a half of sheer fun for Killua, hanging out with Gon as soon as he was able to leave from his family's grasp. They had decided to continue exploring the island - every hill, tree, and rock - together.
It was so unreal. Having friendship. Killua's days on Whale Island no longer seemed so bleak and empty. His heart didn't feel so heavy and bare.
It was the opposite. From sunrise to sunset, Killua experienced true happiness. Something he never really had.
He felt scared. Happiness wasn't something that lasted, Killua knew. It was always ripped away. Taken away. But being with Gon, Killua couldn't help but feel selfish. He wanted to spend every single second on Whale Island with Gon. Even if Killua already knew it would never last forever.
"One last competition!" Gon shouted over the roar of the waves, brown pupils dilated from mirth. "Let's see who can hold their breath the longest!"
"You're on!" Killua grinned. He would win, of course.
Both boys dived underwater, bubbles dancing from their movement. Killua watched in amusement as Gon's nose scrunched up, eyes closed shut in concentration. Gon was taking this very seriously, not that Killua wasn't, but it was cute in a way. To watch Gon's resolve so up close.
Killua halted. What did he just call Gon's actions? Cute?
After nine impressive minutes, Gon's head finally popped up, breathing haggard. Killua's head followed soon after, although he wasn't even close to his limit.
"Aw man," Gon whined, rubbing his eyes tiredly. The sun was dipping down the horizon, causing the clear blue sea to shine orange in color. "I really thought I was gonna win."
"Too bad," Killua chuckled but couldn't help but feel deeply astonished by Gon's show of strength. He didn't have Killua's brutal training, and he was still that good? Gon wasn't just any normal kid.
He could keep up with Killua. It was amazing.
"I have to return home," Killua said as they reached the beach, drying off with towels that Aunt Mito had given Gon. "My family wants to have dinner together. Dunno know why since no one even talks. We all just start fighting and then I get kicked back to my room or something."
Gon frowned, an emotion akin to dejection flashing across his face. "So soon?"
Killua's heart squeezed at Gon's sad tone. He wished he could tell Gon that his family wouldn't care if he missed dinner. But that would be a lie. Illumi was already growing suspicious of Killua's disappearances every day, telling their father to keep him inside the house. But after arguing with their father, Killua had somehow convinced him to be on his side.
It never lasted, however.
"Yeah, they suck like that." Killua mulled over his regret. How could he make Gon smile again?
Gon was already packing up their half-eaten snacks and trash onto his backpack, mouth pulled in a tight line. The frog stickers on his backpack weren't doing any good at cheering him up. Killua had given him those, after finding out frogs were Gon's favorite animal. It had made the island boy beam as brightly as the sun.
Killua wanted to see that same beam again.
"But…maybe I can sneak out at night? Meet me here at the beach later?"
Gon swiveled around to look at him, a replica of Killua's favorite beam on his face. "Really, Killua?"
Bright as the sun, Killua agreed with himself.
An hour after midnight, Killua was able to sneak out of his room once he was sure his family wouldn't bother him. It was an awful dinner, fighting and arguing to the max over his irresponsibility as heir to the Zoldyck business. Killua then developed a headache from their shouts. But at least, it served as his excuse to leave the table early - to sleep it off.
In truth, Killua was waiting impatiently in his room for the minutes to tick by. He wondered what he and Gon would do next. What new adventure awaited him once he was by his friend's side once again.
"Follow me." Gon ushered him up a hill once Killua and him met on the beach.
They built a campfire, scraped from fallen branches and wood. The fire was warm, gray smoke and red flakes jumping out and floating up into the night sky. They had been telling each other stories, laughter intermingling with the chirping of nighttime crickets, bellies completely full of the fish they had captured earlier to eat.
Now, they were both lying down on the soft ground a few feet away from each other, completely silent. Killua realized something new as he stared at the blinking constellations above him. He had never, not once in his life, enjoyed someone's company so much as he did with Gon. It was different from Alluka. So very different.
It felt secretive, special, intimate. Like they were the only two people awake in the world.
It was so soothing Killua almost fell asleep, eyelids drooping. But he needed to tell Gon something. Something that Gon deserved to know ever since they became friends.
"Hey, Gon…"
Gon hummed, eyes never flickering away from the magical view above them.
"My family has a secret business. We're assassins, or I guess we're called hitmen now. We're hired by shady people to kill other shady people. My parents have really high hopes for me. They want me to be the heir to the Zoldyck trade…"
Silence.
"We're here in Whale Island to find a potential job."
Killua figured Gon would react in either of two ways. One, he would find it funny, thinking Killua was trying to joke and not believe it. Two, he would get up and run far away, frightened by the killer beside him.
But Gon didn't react like anything Killua had imagined. Not at all.
"Oh, really? Assassins? Both your parents?"
"All of us," Killua couldn't believe Gon's indifference. "But who wants to have their life planned out? I've never wanted to be heir, still don't, but they freak out whenever I tell them I want to decide my own future. We end up fighting all the time. And now I'm being forced to take part in their business meetings! Horrible parents, am I right?"
Gon just hummed and Killua stared at the moon in perplexity. Gon didn't care. He wasn't scared of him. Or he was just hiding it very well.
But then Gon, as if sensing his nervousness, turned around to look at him, eyes as curious as ever. Not one speck of fear in them.
"So, what do you want to do?"
The question stumped Killua. He had no response. There wasn't really anything he wanted to do, except escape from his family hand in hand with Alluka. But that wasn't ever going to happen. Not by a long shot.
"I guess there's really nothing," Killua whispered, feeling a little sad. "I mean, besides helping Alluka, my sister, get away from them since they're more horrible to her. There are plenty of things I don't want to do though. Like stay in that house. Or take over the family business."
A few seconds of silence before Gon spoke.
"I wanna find my dad." Gon's voice didn't waver and he looked away from Killua. "His name is Ging Freecss. I don't know where he is but I wanna find him. He left me on Whale Island when I was a baby. And I've always wanted to find out why…"
Killua stayed quiet but wondered. What the hell kind of person were you to leave Gon behind? Leave Whale Island behind?
Now I know why you reacted like that when I said there was someone out there who must have wanted to leave Whale Island. Killua pondered, thinking back to his and Gon's first meeting which felt like eons ago. Because Ging Freecss did. Left and never came back.
"He sounds like a shitty dad." Killua huffed even as Gon laughed. "But I guess…I guess I'm kind of jealous of you anyway. You have something."
More silence. But this time, Gon had turned around to look at him, gaze serious.
"Killua."
"Huh?" Killua opened an eye, eyebrow raised.
"It's fun hanging out with you." Gon's eyes were resolute, unwavering with truth. Their depthness reflected a sky full of stars, causing Killua to jump back slightly at their radiance.
"Hey! Where'd that come from?" His heart skipped the longer they shared eye contact.
"Whale Island's an outpost," Gon explained, unperturbed by the tension. "Fishermen stay here to take a break from the sea. Not a lot of people who actually live here are natives. There is a girl around my age, but I just never got to know her very well. So, you're my first friend in a way!"
Gon smiled at him. For a few seconds, Killua was able to understand. To understand the sound of their friendship and what it meant to Gon.
"I get what you mean," Killua looked away and felt himself sink into peace at Gon's proclamation. A special peace that warmed him from the inside. "You're my first friend too," he surrendered freely.
"Killua, when we're together, you have fun, right?"
Gon's voice jingled with mischievousness, and Killua sighed. Why was Gon always asking? Rubbing his neck, which felt especially hot, he replied slowly, "Yeah, I guess so."
"I do too!" Gon's smile grew wider even if Killua wasn't looking at him, avoiding the embarrassing words. "So, I think we should stick together!"
Killua blushed, disbelief gushing through his brain at Gon's shamelessness.
"One day, let's travel the world together! Just you and me!"
The promise rang out in the air, like a bell tolling out in the distance. The promise was a lock, a wish, a shooting star flying in the sky.
The promise was engraved into their souls, carved into Killua's beating heart.
For as long as Killua was alive, he realized he'd now always be duty-bound to the boy beside him. To come back to Whale Island so the promise, the vow, the pledge between them would be fulfilled.
But the promise was light at the end of the tunnel. It was something to look forward to. It was his first push to keep on dreaming. To keep on fighting. To keep on living.
It was hope for a better future.
Being with Gon.
Killua returned to the velvety sheets of his bed, bidding goodbye to a sleepy but happy Gon. His body had never felt so light, so content with life.
He turned on his phone and opened the notes app, finding the pros and cons list he had made, fingers flying across the screen to type and unearth the newest feelings he had developed.
WHALE ISLAND
CON # 1 - BAD WIFI, POOR CONNECTION
PRO # 1 - PRETTY FOREST, BIG LAKE, LONG BEACH, MANY ANIMALS, BLUE OCEAN, CONSTELLATIONS, NEW PLANTS, CHIRPING SOUNDS, FRESH AIR, TALL TREES, SOFT SAND, KON AND…
PRO # 2 - SHOOTING STARS, NEW BEGINNINGS, TRUE PEACE, THE BIGGEST PROMISE OF MY LIFE, A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY, OR DREAM, OR FUTURE, OR…
Freedom. Killua smiled softly. Whale Island gives me freedom.
By the third week of his stay, Gon had finished showing Killua everything on the outskirts of Whale Island. It was definitely more than what the average tourist explored. But Killua knew he had experienced more fun than anyone else who ever came to Gon's hometown. Gon just made it feel that special.
"We're going to the town square today," Gon announced excitedly, flashing a bright grin at the white-haired boy. "You haven't tasted real island food yet, have you?"
Killua shook his head, growing thrilled at the prospect of tasting delicious food. His mind started imagining things like new desserts, sweets, or chocolate. Killua couldn't deny he was hungry. And who would pass on such a tempting offer?
They arrived at the town square which was brimmed with the chattering of natives, fishermen, sailors, and sightseers alike. Buildings made of sandstone, small houses turned to shops, and colorful street stands carrying the aroma of food were all facing towards the busy docks, welcoming the stream of eager tourists.
Many seagulls were perched on roofs or lampposts. A dog or two would sometimes walk past them, sniffing the ground with their tail wagging. Vendors shouted out every now and then, voices coarse but friendly. The smell of fish and sea water was strong in the air, the wind carrying away the sound of tinkling laughter coming from the children playing in the makeshift playground, close to the center.
Killua drowned it all in, amazed at how much livelier Whale Island seemed during the middle of the day.
"Aunt Mito works in the square. She should be around here somewhere. Maybe we'll see her!"
Killua's palms grew clammy, feeling a bolt of anxiety at the sudden idea. What would happen if he did meet the Aunt Mito so soon without any preparation? Would she approve of him spending time with her son? Would she even like him?
"Over here, Killua!" Gon took his hand, clueless to the jolt of electricity Killua felt from the sudden skin to skin contact. Blood rushed to his face and neck, pulse quickening in speed. But Killua let himself be dragged until they reached a particular food booth, hidden in the corner by the shade.
"Four shrimp skewers please!" Gon requested the cook, an old lady who had sun-kissed skin, similar to Gon's and the other inhabitants. Her eyes were a dark gray, full of crinkles from years spent merrily.
"Ah, Gon-boy!" She smiled at the two boys, hands getting to work immediately. "It's been a while! How's Mito and Abe? Any update on the leak on the roof? Has Ricky fixed it? And who's that? 'Doesn't seem like someone from around here. Skin so pale it's translucent, no?"
Gon laughed even as Killua shrinked in embarrassment, shoulders raised. He knew he seemed out of place. Next to Gon, bright and glowing Gon, Killua was only a phantom of a person. No color whatsoever.
"This is Killua, my best friend! He's not from around here, yes, or looks like us, but I think he's very pretty!"
"Gon," Killua hissed, looking at the boy in shock. Gon didn't take notice. Or maybe had just ignored him.
The old lady threw her head back in laughter, finishing with their shrimp skewers. "Yes, you're right. Killua-boy, you sure did pick a special one!"
Breathe in, breathe out. Killua couldn't say anything but try to calm down from the incoming dizziness. The pounding in his head was certainly from his body trying not to explode out of mortification.
Pretty.
Gon called him pretty.
"Thanks, ma'am!" Gon paid for their food and took Killua's hand again, swaying them back and forth like he didn't just turn Killua's world upside down.
They sat near a tree, finding shade under the leaves. The shrimp skewers were delicious, definitely not something Killua could find anywhere else. Gon had gone and purchased them a special kind of refresher, a mixture of mango and coconut milk.
They were eating in silence, Gon every now and then pointing to people who he and his family were particularly close to.
"And that's Dai, a carpenter! He kind of has a crush on Mito. But she keeps denying it. Funny, right?"
Killua only hummed, barely paying attention to Gon's chatter. Instead, his head was still occupied with reliving Gon calling him pretty. He was replaying the memory, hoping it never vanished out of his reach.
"Can you hang out with me later? Whale Island celebrates its summer solstice festival today. It's gonna be so much fun! There's always music and dancing and yummy candy…"
Gon kept going on and on, but Killua was too distracted by the movement of Gon's lips to really pay close attention to the words coming out of them. How would they feel? Soft? Chapped? Would they taste like the fruit they had shared earlier?
"Killua!" Gon's muddled voice grew clearer and clearer. "Hey, Killua? Are you listening to me?"
Gon's whine snapped Killua back to reality and he blinked rapidly, trying to get rid of the weird thoughts floating inside his brain. What the hell were they talking about?
"The festival! Gosh, Killua. You call me dumb, but I think you're dumberer than I am."
"It's 'dumber' not 'dumberer,' idiot," Killua corrected, rolling his eyes. "And yeah, if my family doesn't stop me, I'll come. At what time?"
"Seven!" Gon was standing up now, grinning bigger than usual. "Let's meet back here at seven!"
Killua yawned and nodded. Seven was okay. It gave him enough time to nap, shower, and get ready for a festival. When was the last time he attended a festival anyway?
"Yay, it's a date! Okay, see you later Killua!"
What.
Killua stood paralyzed, like a statue in a museum, staring at the back of Gon's head as it grew further and further away, already past the town square's entrance.
Killua stayed like that for minutes, or maybe hours, a sculpture frozen in time, not realizing how people passing by were all looking at him with concern.
Eventually, Killua was brought back to the present. And at that moment, he realized he had it bad. Very, very, very bad for his best friend.
Whale Island's summer solstice festival was in full swing. The town square twinkled with the dazzling of hanging lights, the blazing of a cheery song from the musicians, the intertwining aromas of native dishes, the booming steps of dancers tumbling in circles.
Overwhelmed didn't even begin to describe how Killua felt. He stared at everything in astonishment. The town square had been transformed overnight, leaving Killua utterly breathless at the sight.
It was no surprise his family had cooped themselves in their rental house, ignoring the festivities and laughter of the island. They would have felt lost, even more lost than how Killua felt right now, standing alone in the middle of the celebration.
"Killua!" Gon's shout snapped him from his stagger, and he instantly turned around to the sound of the familiar voice. Relief seeped through his bones once he spotted his smiling best friend, arm up in a wave.
"Gon!" Killua yelled over the music, walking quickly towards him.
"There you are!" Gon smiled broadly, face to face with Killua. "I was looking everywhere for you!" He was wearing a simple outfit, not at all fashionable, but it still made Gon look charming.
And Killua felt the butterflies inside him go mad. But that didn't mean Gon was off the hook.
Killua eradicated the butterflies and gritted his teeth. "You said to come at seven, idiot! It's almost seven-thirty!"
"But I did come at seven!" Gon's eyebrows knitted together. "I just couldn't find you."
"Yeah," Killua sighed. "This festival's insane."
"Nah, this is normal. Come on, let's go have fun!"
Gon took his hand, a move Killua was getting used to the more it happened. They toured every shop and booth and game, laughing at each other's foolery. People that knew Gon would come up every once and awhile, greeting them with open smiles. Killua would try to linger behind each time, but Gon would pull him back to his side, introducing him as "Killua, my best friend in the whole world" even though Killua shot him red-faced glares in embarrassment.
"What ice cream flavor do you want?" Gon inquired, both boys standing in front of an ice cream shop after hours of nonstop talking and playing and laughing.
Killua didn't think twice. "Chocolate," he answered.
Gon's lips quirked upwards in a little smile but he nodded. "One chocolate and one lemon-flavored ice cream, please!"
"Let me pay though," Killua cut in before Gon took out his frog-shaped wallet. He had been paying for everything so far, and Killua was starting to feel guilty. It was his turn to pay and Killua knew he had plenty of money to spare.
"But, Killua–"
"Nope," Killua quipped.
Grabbing their respective ice creams, Gon smiled and thanked him. This time, Killua reached out first and interlinked their hands, trying not to overthink it.
"Any situation in which I use my parents' money is a plus for me."
Gon threw his head back in laughter, face glowing attractively by the flashing colors of the festival lights. He looked…
Killua couldn't stop staring.
"Okay! Wanna try my ice cream?"
"Nah, lemon's too sour for me," Killua continued eating his own ice cream, enamored by the sweet taste of chocolate goodness. "Ohmygosh, this is so good…"
"Killua!" Gon tugged at his hand. "One bite, please? It's really good, I promise! Whale Island's famous for its lemon ice cream recipe."
"Yeah, right," Killua snorted. He had never heard that one before. "Besides, nothing is better than chocolate. I don't care what anyone says. And I ain't giving you none of mine, so don't try it!"
Killua didn't notice Gon's growing frustration and it wasn't until his arm was yanked back with a force so big it almost made him fall to the ground did he notice he had collided with Gon's chest instead.
"Gon! What the hell?" Killua looked up at Gon's face and was abruptly silenced when he saw the blazing look of resolution, of determination reflecting in those big golden-brown eyes.
"Killua." Gon's voice was very low. "I was trying to feed you ice cream. You know, like how couples do?"
"Oh."
"Yeah."
A mixture of awkwardness and exhilaration overcame Killua's entire being. Then, a wave of pure desire and bliss soared through him when he registered that Gon was trying to flirt with him. Key word: flirt.
"Gon," Killua mumbled, amazed at Gon's courage. His heart had never felt like this before, as if it had sprouted wings and was trying to fly away.
"But I guess if you don't want me to…" Gon sighed and detangled their hands slowly, fingers leaving a trail of fire in their wake.
"No!" Killua yammered, face hot with flusteredness. "I-I mean, wait. I never said that."
Gon smirked - the little trickster - and raised an eyebrow, features softening innocently at Killua's blush. "Oh? But Killua, you said-"
"I know what I said," Killua snapped. "A-and I take it back."
"Hmmm, now I'm not so sure…"
"Gon!" Killua's mouth opened in disbelief. Gon was walking away now, watching Killua over his shoulder as he made his way towards the party of people in the square. Gon tried not to giggle. Killua looked like an annoyed cat, eyes wild in the dimmed lighting.
"Prove me wrong, then." Was the last thing Gon said to him before he was completely swallowed by a tide of dancing people, gone from Killua's sight like a flash of lightning.
"Fuck." Killua cursed and chased after his best friend - crush? - with a crazy look of desperation.
He found Gon five minutes later, dancing with a small group of people, kids similar in age, all twisting and turning to the pace of a traditional fiddle song. He was giggling and smiling that ethereal smile of his, feet moving gracefully to the tempo.
Killua started, fighting back a groan. The distance between them seemed like a chasm, a stygian abyss he needed to cross without falling. But could he do it? Could he trust himself to survive the passage? Could he take the necessary step? Take that one step that would change everything?
No. It was impossible. He would never last. He wouldn't come out alive without a single scratch. He would be sending himself to his own execution. He would leave himself exposed to every torture and poison. He would burn.
Gon's eyes met his' from across the dance floor, and the boy extended his right hand in invitation, with a smile so warm it could've melted the snow inside the darkest of his memories.
He was waiting for Killua to take the first step. Patient and kind as always.
Killua smothered the thoughts and worries bouncing around his head like monsters fighting for control. He extinguished the doubt plaguing his soul, finally finding silence calm enough for him to decide.
Heart set ablaze with newfound emotions, Killua ran.
Ran past the dancing masses, past his family's ill-natured warnings, past his own weaknesses, and finally found the bravery to do what he wanted to do since the beginning.
Maybe it happened in a few seconds, or maybe it happened over the span of a thousand years.
Time didn't matter. All Killua knew was that once he took hold of Gon's hand, everything came crashing down around them. Like rain falling backwards, like the earth breaking apart, like the sun falling, like two boys admitting to falling in love.
The moment Killua's fingers interlocked with Gon's, Gon pulled him close, so impossibly close all Killua could see were the golden constellations of his eyes, mirroring his own ocean blue ones.
"Killua…" Gon breathed, mouth dangerously near. "Can I kiss you?"
The forbidden question didn't scare Killua. Not anymore. Not ever.
"Yes."
WHALE ISLAND
CON # 1 - BAD WIFI, POOR CONNECTION
PRO # 1 - PRETTY FOREST, BIG LAKE, LONG BEACH, MANY ANIMALS, BLUE OCEAN, CONSTELLATIONS, NEW PLANTS, CHIRPING SOUNDS, FRESH AIR, TALL TREES, SOFT SAND, KON AND…
PRO # 2 - SHOOTING STARS, NEW BEGINNINGS, TRUE PEACE, THE BIGGEST PROMISE OF MY LIFE, A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY, OR DREAM, OR FUTURE, OR…
PRO #3 - SHRIMP SKEWERS, MANGO JUICE, COCONUT MILK, CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM, AND HIS LIPS…
Gon's lips tasted like victory.
"Aunt Mito wants to meet you."
Killua didn't get scared. To him, horror movies were comedy movies, ghost stories were bedtime fairy tales, and physical pain was an imaginary friend he knew all his life as part of being a Zoldyck.
But what Gon had just said…
Aunt Mito wants to meet you.
Now, that was terrifying.
Killua swallowed harshly, pulling away from Gon's insistent tugging. "Aunt Mito? What? Why? Uh, I, uh, I don't think that…"
Gon rolled his eyes and drew Killua closer again, shutting him up promptly with a kiss. Their lips brushed, fethearly light, before Gon pressed himself tighter, yanking on Killua's shirt to get a better angle.
Killua couldn't help the noise that came out of his throat in surprise, pleasantly dazed at Gon's demanding touch. They had been practicing for days now, being together - freaking kissing! Killua screamed internally - and every little nudge or stroke had him on the edge.
"W-wait, Gon," Killua whispered in between eager kisses, trying very hard not to fall into Gon's gravity. The island boy was so damn distracting. "I-I can't. Aunt Mito won't like me and then-"
Gon pulled away with a frown, lips red and swollen. Killua instantly missed those lips.
"What are you talking about? Aunt Mito already loves you! I've told her all about us!"
"What?!" Killua screeched, slapping Gon's hands away. The kissing could go on pause, for now. This was definitely an emergency. "That's even worse, idiot! She probably hates me, especially if she knows what we're doing, no, what I'm doing to her son-"
"Killua." Gon stared at him, eyes serious. "She doesn't hate you. She wants to meet you because you're my best friend. Because I like you."
Killua chewed his lower lip, contemplating his next course of action. Thoughts and escape plans flew a hundred miles a minute inside his head. The worst possible situation had already made itself snuggly at home, conjured by his overthinking brain. Things that could go wrong flashed like black static lines, one by one, reinforcing Killua on what a bad idea this was.
"Please, Killua. For me?"
Gon was using his puppy eyes, pleading and begging. It wasn't fair. Killua couldn't say no to those eyes.
"I hate you."
Gon's laugh was resounding in its delight.
Gon's home was situated on top of a big, green grassy hill. It looked well-worn, red-tiled roof the same color as the setting sun. Beside the house, metal poles with drying clothes on them served as an outdoor rack. Under the first-floor windows, bushes and flowers had fresh dew on them as though someone had recently watered them.
Gon was jogging a little ways in front of Killua, carefree as always. Excited.
Killua on the other hand slowed his footsteps to an almost snail's pace, heart pounding in worry, hands clenched inside his pockets. Aunt Mito would surely disapprove of their relationship. He wasn't even a native, just some tourist from a country light years away. He wouldn't stay. He would leave Gon behind. Who was he to befriend her only son?
"Aunt Mito!" Gon shouted, bouncing to the front door of his home. "We're home!"
We're home. Not just him, but me as well.
The door opened immediately and Killua didn't even have the chance to run away before a young woman with orange-red hair and eyes as hazel as Gon's came out, eyebrows raised.
"Gon!" She smiled, hugging him. Killua looked down at his shoes, not knowing what to do or how long their reunion would last. He didn't need to wait for long.
"Oh!" She gently pulled back and averted her attention to him. "You must be Killua! Please, come in."
Gon didn't need to be told twice before he jumped inside, already calling out for Abe, his great grandmother's name.
Killua tried to slow down his breathing, reminding himself that everything would be okay. Gon had promised him.
They were both ushered into the dining room. A small room with a wooden table, a vintage cup cabinet, and the present smell of delicious home cooked food.
"Please take a seat." Aunt Mito nodded towards the chairs, eyes kind. "I'll be right out with the food."
She left to fetch their dinner from the kitchen and out from a hallway, came Gon's great grandmother. A short elderly woman with graying hair but the same kind smile that seemed to have been passed down from generation to generation in the Freecss family.
"Ah! Is this him, Gon? Your new friend?"
Gon nodded and grinned, eyes shining. "Yup! My best friend!"
Killua crushed the urge to raise an eyebrow and smirk, wanting to fluster Gon by asking how much of a "best friend" he considered him, after every feverish kiss they had shared.
But Gon beat him to the punch. "And I think maybe more. I like Killua a lot. And he likes me."
Shocked at Gon's bold words, in front of his family nonetheless, Killua could only sink into his chair, wishing for the ground to swallow him whole.
Abe guffawed, ruffling Gon's hair. "So I see! Killua, dear, I have no idea how Gon convinced you, but please, be patient with my grandson."
"O-of course," Killua stuttered. Abe had granted him approval. Or was it more like advice…?
Aunt Mito returned, her face betraying nothing. Killua couldn't tell if she had heard them or not.
Pots and plates full of every food imaginable decorated the table, aromas so sweetly smelling it was already making Killua's stomach growl in hunger.
Reaching over, after Abe had finished serving herself food, then Aunt Mito, Gon and Killua grappled for the meatballs before Gon surrendered, moving on to the salad with a bright laugh at their back and forth.
Killua couldn't wait to dig in any longer. It looked so delicious; way more appetizing than what the Zoldycks' personal chefs cooked for his family at dinner.
He popped a meatball into his mouth but stopped from chewing when he realized everyone at the table had gone mute.
In confusion, Killua looked at each Freecss, wondering why their eyes had closed, their hands had clasped together, and their heads hung low in meditation. They all stayed in that same position for a little longer, unmoving.
Gon's left eye opened, watching Killua with mirth as the white-haired boy returned his look with questions dancing in his stare.
"We're giving thanks," Gon mumbled so only Killua could hear. Killua was trying to understand but then Aunt Mito opened her eyes, and everyone at the table continued to eat.
As if nothing happened, the family continued to share and chatter about their day, laughter sounding from all parts of the room, getting absorbed into the walls, filling Killua with warmth. He had never felt like this before, a feeling close to comfort, it made all his worries disappear to the back of his head.
"So, Killua, Gon tells me your family is visiting from The Republic of Padokea? That's a long way from home," Aunt Mito finally asked, curious on how he ended up visiting Whale Island.
Killua nodded. "My family lives there. They came here for… a job. I didn't particularly care but then I met Gon. And, well…" he trailed off, unsure of what he was trying to say. He didn't want to let Aunt Mito think Gon was just some sort of summer fling or something. He was way, way more. So much more. "He's my best friend too. I've never had any real friends before."
Killua wasn't shy in admitting it. It was the truth, and it was something that his family took away from him. Killua would never try to hide what they had done to him.
"Oh," Aunt Mito blinked. "Hmmm, well I hope Gon's been doing a good job at showing you around to everything that Whale Island has to offer. Our little island might not be much but it's home. We hope you've been having a good time."
"Yeah," Killua smiled a little, looking at Gon's stupid attractive face. "I have."
Aunt Mito smiled widely. "And Gon, have you been on your best behavior?"
"Yyhea, of cwourse," Gon said with a mouth full of food. Gross. Both Aunt Mito and Killua glared at him. Abe cackled.
"Young man, chew with your mouth closed! Honestly! How did you ever end up choosing my son, Killua?"
"I don't know either."
"Hey!" Gon yelled, an expression so hilarious in Killua's opinion. He looked like a kicked puppy.
Aunt Mito and Killua shared a giggle. And that's when Killua knew. He really had nothing to worry about, did he?
Hours later, after Aunt Mito had roped them both into taking a shower, they had all retired to sit around the fireplace, just enjoying each other's company. Abe had gone to bed early, but Aunt Mito had stayed with them for a little longer, telling Killua all of Whale Island's old-time tales.
Killua was borrowing one of Gon's sweaters, big and green and so cozy it was heaven. The lights were off, candles flickering in the darkened room. Aunt Mito's serene voice and Gon's arms wrapped around from behind him were lulling Killua to sleep.
It felt so very safe, in the Freecss household, in Gon's arms. Killua never wanted to leave, feeling so very at home.
Gon's warm breathing on his neck, Aunt Mito and Abe's kind smiles, the wooden and ocean smell of the house, his belly content with the native food they had consumed – all of it, Killua slowly realized, was how a real family was supposed to be.
Killua wanted to bring Alluka here, to this moment. It was surreal.
"Is he asleep?" Aunt Mito pointed at Gon, head rolling by Killua's shoulder, tickling the strands of silvery-colored locks nearby.
Killua nodded and with the help of Aunt Mito, gently laid Gon on a futon they had brought down from the attic earlier.
"I have to go now, Aunt Mito," Killua informed her, knowing the moment he came back, there'd be shouting and arguments over where he had been the whole day. "My family hates for me to be out. They're difficult like that."
Aunt Mito frowned but followed him to the entrance, giving him a bag of leftovers to take with him on his way back. "I don't mean to pry, Killua…and Gon hasn't told me anything, out of respect for your feelings of course, but…is everything okay at home? I just have this feeling…"
Killua held back a snort. Oh, the horror that would fill Aunt Mito's face if she even knew an ounce of what was going inside that "home" of his.
"Your gut feeling is right," Killua thanked her for the food and tied on his shoes. "But it's okay, I'm used to it."
"Killua…" Aunt Mito seemed like she wanted to say more and Killua deeply appreciated her concern, it reminded him of Gon, but he didn't want to scare her. It was such a lovely evening, Killua would've hated it if his stupid, shady family had to ruin it. Just like they ruined everything else in his life.
"It's okay Aunt Mito." Killua tried to sound brave, easygoing. "Thank you for everything, truly. I had a wonderful time. And I'm really bad at expressing my feelings, but I…"
Killua's toes curled. Blush evident even in the dark. But he needed to let her know, to let Gon's mom know how much her son meant to him. How much he had changed Killua's life in just four weeks.
"I care about your son." He looked up and met her stare head-on. "A lot. It's scary. I know I'm not from around here, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to come back any time soon once I leave, but I need you to understand that meeting your son has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. He has made this trip to Whale Island so…"
Killua could feel the tears forming the longer he unveiled the true feelings Gon had sparked inside of him. But he wouldn't cry. Not in front of Mito's gentle gaze. He wouldn't do that.
"...he's made it so very special. I don't know how else to describe it. I just know that the memories I've made with him by my side are ones I will never forget. Not for as long as I live. And if I have to fight tooth and nail to see him again…"
Killua's speech was interrupted by Aunt Mito's tight hug. He stopped, frozen at the sound of her uneven breathing against his head. Wait, was she crying?
"Killua," Aunt Mito sniffled. "You are always welcomed here. This will always be your home if you want it to be. I know how much Gon cares about you and meeting you has never made him so happy. So please, take care of yourself. I want to see you again."
Aunt Mito released him with one last squeeze, watched him walk down the stone path, waving goodbye until all she could see was a single dot in the distance.
But Killua barely registered his own feet walking. All he could see in front of him was the blur of fat, wet tears.
Home. He had a real home.
WHALE ISLAND
CON # 1 - BAD WIFI, POOR CONNECTION
PRO # 1 - PRETTY FOREST, BIG LAKE, LONG BEACH, MANY ANIMALS, BLUE OCEAN, CONSTELLATIONS, NEW PLANTS, CHIRPING SOUNDS, FRESH AIR, TALL TREES, SOFT SAND, KON AND…
PRO # 2 - SHOOTING STARS, NEW BEGINNINGS, TRUE PEACE, THE BIGGEST PROMISE OF MY LIFE, A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY, OR DREAM, OR FUTURE, OR…
PRO #3 - SHRIMP SKEWERS, MANGO JUICE, COCONUT MILK, CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM, AND HIS LIPS…
PRO #4 - GON'S HOUSE, AUNT MITO, GREAT GRANDMOTHER ABE, GIVING THANKS, TELLING STORIES, SHARING LAUGHTER, TRUE FAMILY, TIGHT HUGS, OR…
"A real home," Killua whispered to himself after he had returned to the coldness of his own bed.
Kikyo screamed at him the moment he had stepped through the front door, shrieking that he was coming back at an unreasonable hour so late at night. Illumi had tried to anger him using manipulative words, threatening him with future torture lessons if he didn't behave. Milluki was sneering at him. Kalluto stared at him with those unnerving eyes of his. Silva looked at him with disapproval, eying Gon's sweater on his body with suspicion.
But nothing the Zoldycks could have done to him would change the fact that Killua now had a new home with the Freecss family.
It was reaching the end of Killua's fourth and last week in Whale Island. He wanted to spend it by Gon's side, exploring every little detail of his best friend now that they had blurred the lines of their relationship. He wanted to continue talking with Aunt Mito, interested in every story she would give him about Gon's happy childhood. He wanted to stay, finally feeling free for once in his life from the cage the Zolycks seemed hell-bent on keeping him in.
But of course, his parents had suddenly grown unyielding - just as Killua foreordained the moment he had begun feeling at home on the beautiful island - letting him know that there would be no more excuses for him to avoid their meetings with their future Yorknew employers.
Killua was forced to attend his parents' meetings, dressed up in a dark suit and mask to hide his true identity. The employers were horrible people, Killua could sense it in his veins, but they were rich enough to buy their services anyways. They wanted their competitors, their rivals, all dead before the Yorknew City auction in September. They started talking money for each person assassinated as if it was some kind of game and that was when Killua felt the disgust boiling up inside.
Disgusted at the underworld hidden beneath the normal lives of regular day to day people. Disgusted with himself, knowing that if he never had Alluka or Gon present in his mind like life-saving ropes, he would've been manipulated by his family a long time ago to do what they wanted him to do.
The meeting dragged on past 2 am before his parents and the employers finally agreed on a deal. The Yorknew people left, leaving behind a deposit, a great sum of money that would make most people faint.
"Did you pay attention, Kil?" His mother faced him; mask put away now that they were in private.
"Can I go now?" Killua asked instead, maybe Gon was still waiting for him to respond to his texts. The mere excitement of speaking to him, hearing his gleeful voice after such a bad day, had Killua bouncing on the balls of his feet.
"KIL!" Kikyo shrieked. "Look at him!" She pleaded with Silva. "He doesn't care one bit! Do something!"
"Killua," His father's voice was stern. "I hope you understand that this behavior won't be tolerated any longer. It's been enough time; you've had your summer fun doing whatever it is you were doing here. Go back to your room and pack your stuff. We're leaving this horrid island in two days."
Killua whipped his head up, staring at his parents with shock painted across his face. "WHAT? Two days? But you said we'd stay for a little longer-"
"So you could continue wasting time away with that poor island boy? What was his name…? Gon Freecss?"
Killua stared at Illumi, who had been oddly quiet this whole time but had now dropped this, speechless. There was no possible way Illumi had found him out. Killua had made sure (double no triple checked each time he spent time with Gon) that none of his family members were secretly spying on him. That not even Milluki could track him through his and Gon's phone calls.
But looking into his family's cold-blooded eyes, Killua realized something horrifying. They could and would hurt Gon or his family if the need arose.
The fear that ran down his spine shook Killua's very core.
"Please," Killua whispered, feeling hopeless and scared out of his mind for Gon's safety. What should he do, what should he do, what should he do? "Please, don't hurt him. He's innocent in this."
"Oh, is he? I disagree, Kil. I think I should take care of it, the sooner the better-"
Killua had teleported in front of his older brother without thinking. Quicker than lightning. Bloodlust oozing. Just the very thought of Illumi nearing Gon made Killua see red. "Don't you dare touch him," he snarled, going against all the warning bells inside him screaming not to fight Illumi because Illumi would win. Illumi was stronger.
"Enough," His father's booming command shattered the thick tension inside the room. "Illumi will do nothing if you promise me this Killua. You'll leave without a fight and train to become heir. Do you understand?"
Killua stared at them, weighing his options. It didn't take him more than three seconds to make a final decision.
Gon was more important. Forever and always.
"I promise."
The last day. A rare feeling of homesickness strook Killua before the boat even left the port. He was standing on the deck, facing Whale Island and its warm atmosphere with crestfallen eyes. His family were below deck, uncaring to the fact that they had just broken Killua's heart into tiny pieces. But it didn't even matter.
Killua knew that once the boat sailed away, he would never see Gon again. Not after making such a promise to his father.
He was trapped with no way out.
One last look at Whale Island's coastline, forest, beach, town square, and inhabitants going about their business had Killua yearning to go back. He had the strong desire to fall overboard, swim the savage waters, and make his way back home - back to Gon.
But Killua remained chained in place, deathly still. The boat's horn blew off and it was time. Time to say goodbye.
Kikyo had confiscated his phone, ordering Milluki to erase all traces of Gon from his life. And Killua wasn't able to inform Gon. To let him know that they most likely would never meet again, would never travel the world together even though they had pledged themselves to each other under the stars.
A single tear fell from his gaze before Killua turned away. The emotionless mask his family drilled to him as a child back into place.
Goodbye Gon.
"Killua!"
He froze, body going rigid.
How? There was no way. How the hell had Gon-?
"Killua!"
It couldn't be.
How could Gon know? How did he know-?
"Killua!"
Swiveling around with an open jaw, Killua watched in disbelief as the boy he had fallen in love with during his short time spent on Whale Island ran across the docks, dark hair tousled and honey-golden eyes as bright as shimmering light.
Gon.
"Killua! This isn't goodbye!" Gon's loud yell was hard to hear, with the roaring sound of the waves and wind an overpowering enemy. The clouds above them hid the sun, darkening the sky with an incoming storm. It was befitting to how Killua felt.
But seeing Gon was all he needed to feel better. He pushed himself onto the railing, straining his hearing with all his might, eyes squinting against the mist and the drops of sprinkling rain.
"Gon!" Killua shouted back, voice cracking slightly. "I'm sorry!"
The boat was getting further and further away. Killua could barely make out Gon's features. The urge to swim back was unstoppable now.
"It's okay!"
Gon's voice, although far, was carried easily back to him. Killua could barely breathe from the meaning behind those words. His hands were bleeding slightly from the strength of having them wrapped around the railing, digging harshly into the wood. But the pain grounded Killua. It made him focus on Gon's next and final shout.
It made him remember Gon's promise before Killua was wrenched away from seeing him again for a long time to come.
"I'll come find you!"
TWO YEARS LATER
At eighteen years old, Killua Zoldyck was in the middle of finishing all the paperwork and preparations needed in order to legally separate himself from his family. If things went right, Alluka would now be under his care, independent as well.
He owed it all to Bisky. Bisky or Biscuit Krueger as known professionally, was the most famous lawyer in the world. Or so she said anyway.
She could be the most famous or the least famous, all Killua knew was that she and him got along as well as oil and water.
But Bisky was definitely the best in the business. It was all thanks to her that Killua had found a loophole for him and Alluka to escape from his family scratch-free. It was terrifying and stressful and a hurtful process, but they were so close. So, so, so close in finally achieving freedom.
All Killua had to do now was wait. Wait with Alluka in a safe spot, hidden from the rest of the Zoldycks until the judge made the final decision.
I'll come find you.
Gon's final words before they were separated on Whale Island still played inside of Killua's mind like a broken record. It was his first waking thought and his last before sleeping. It was the motivation he used to keep fighting against his family.
I'll come find you.
Frankly, the pessimistic part of his personality reminded him not to get his hopes up. Gon owed him nothing. If he had forgotten about Killua because of years passed, then that was that. Killua would have to learn to move on. Even though he knew he would never be able to. He would never forget Gon. Not in a million years.
"Brother! Brother, wake up!"
Alluka's annoyed chimes interrupted his dark, sleepy thoughts. With a start, Killua looked around and was surprised to find himself still in the hotel room bed, the alarm clock on the bedside stand ringing loudly, blankets all splayed around him like crazy, and curtains pulled tightly shut even though Killua knew it was definitely past noon outside.
"I just came back from the cafeteria and found you like this! Are you alright?"
Obviously, not really. But Alluka didn't need to know that.
Killua rubbed his eyes and forced down a yawn. "Bad dream, sorry," he lied and winced, feeling sore throughout his whole body. "What's wrong?"
Alluka's annoyance immediately vanished and was replaced by distress. She gnawed her lower lip and looked down, frowning. "Um…"
Killua instantly forced himself awake. Something wasn't right by his sister's expression, and he was still on edge over the whole trial and his family, possibly tracking them down and dragging them back to the cold Zoldyck mansion. He couldn't afford to be sleepy and unfocused, no matter how much his heart ached for the lingering touch of said island boy from the past.
"Alluka. Tell me."
"No, wait! No, it's got nothing to do with our family so don't worry. I just, uh, I think I just met Gon Freecss. You know? The love of your life from two years ago?"
Killua blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Four times. Five-
"Brother!" Alluka growled, blue eyes glowing in the dimmed room. "I know you're probably freaking out. Or in shock or in denial and I completely understand that reaction, but he's in the cafeteria downstairs. Just sitting there!
"Of course, I'm not sure if it is him cuz I never really met him, but he introduced himself to me as Gon Freecss. I'm not even kidding. He had dark spiky brown hair, brown eyes, and tanner skin. We talked a little just cuz we were both waiting in line for lunch but Brother, I swear to you - he… He said he was looking for an old friend, his best friend actually, someone that meant the world to him.
"He just told me that they had both met in his hometown. Which, guess this? Was Whale Island! Yup! He said he came to Yorknew to find him because that was the only clue he had gotten. He said that even if he didn't find him, he would never stop looking. Because they made a promise to each other. To travel the world together."
At this point in Alluka's rant, Killua was crying. Crying because if this was a dream, he never wanted to wake up.
"Oh, Brother!" Alluka hugged him, pulling him close. "I know, I know. I don't know if he's the real deal either. But I figured you'd want me to tell you anyway. It's all up to you to decide though. Whether you want to go and see for yourself."
Killua nodded, pulling away from his sister's comforting embrace. He put on fresh clothes, not bothering with the state of his hair or anything else. He just needed to go. Go and see for himself. Maybe it was just a trap.
But if it wasn't…
"Alluka," Killua stopped at the front door of their room, turning around and seeing his sister smiling happily at him. "Wait here. I'm coming right back if it isn't really him. If something happens, call the police or-"
"Brother," Alluka cut off, smile widening. "He's also carrying this old-looking green backpack with frog stickers on them. It's ugly honestly."
Killua was gone before she even finished.
Breath coming out in little puffs, Killua ran down the hotel's stairs, turned twice, dodged an incoming family of seven kids, and finally, finally reached the cafeteria in record speed.
The afternoon rush had trickled away until only a few hotel guests were hanging around the cafeteria and lobby. Most of them were faceless to Killua. His eyes were only looking for that flash of green, brown, and gold. Gon's colors.
He controlled the urge to scream Gon's name, knowing he'd just get passersby to look at him in concern. Maybe possibly get kicked out for disturbing them.
But where was he?! Alluka had said he would be just sitting there! Where-
Oh.
Gon was sitting near the indoor fountain, looking vacantly into the penny-filled water.
"Gon." Killua inhaled. Lips barely moving.
He stared at his best friend from two years ago, noticing all the changes that had happened over the course of time. His face had lost all the remaining baby fat, now chiseled in a way that left Killua with the desire to touch those freckled cheeks. His hair, still spiky but more subdued, was darker than ever before. He was taller, not as tall as Killua, but with legs and arms full of muscle. And his eyes…Killua needed to get closer. To see if they still shined like the sun, full of golden hope just like in his most treasured memories.
"Gon." Killua rasped brokenly. And Gon couldn't possibly hear him, he was too far away, but just like before on Whale Island, before they were cruelly separated, Gon's senses were attuned to his presence. Just as Killua's were to his.
Glancing up, Gon's eyes found him instantly. There was a moment of pure stillness, no movement or sound. Then, like a cord snapping, Gon was running to him, mouth opening in slow motion.
"KILLUA!"
Killua had tightened his body, ready for the power that would slam into him from Gon's incoming hug. But it wasn't enough and both boys fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs and tears.
"GON!"
Nothing could prepare Killua for this moment. Meeting Gon, seeing him again, feeling him against his own body, was something that only occurred in his wildest dreams. Until now.
"I found you!" Gon cried into the hollow curve of his neck, hugging him close. "Kurapika told me that the Zoldycks were in Yorknew City for the auction. But who ever knew you were in the same hotel as me?"
"Gon!" Killua pulled him closer still, wanting to feel the realness of Gon being here. Of touching him. "I can't believe it."
Gon's delighted laughter brought the colors back into Killua's muted vision. He felt whole again, feeling the hairs on his neck stand up at the breathiness of Gon's exhales next to his ear.
Real. He was fucking real, Killua repeated to himself.
"I talked to this girl, and she said she could maybe help me find you. I don't know who she was, but she left and then you came. So, I guess she was some kind of angel on earth or something-"
Killua burst out in laughter, finger pads tracing circles on Gon's cheeks. They were warm under his touch. "That was my little sister, you idiot. Alluka, remember? We're staying here for right now."
Gon's eyes widened comically. "Ohhhhh. That makes so much sense, Killua."
"Yeah," Killua nodded and grinned. "But I guess you're kinda right. We got lucky and met each other again thanks to her. I'm so…"
Happy.
"Me too." Gon's eyes crinkled in a mirroring grin, which yes, they still looked as bright and golden as Killua remembered. "Me too, Killua. I missed you so much."
Killua's gaze softened and for a moment, he could do nothing but wipe the tears away from Gon's face. They stared at each other in silence, the world around them vanishing into thin smoke. His heart could burst with the amount of love he had for this island-born boy. He had missed him too. So much.
"Killua," Gon said quietly, a confession spilling out that unmade Killua's entire being until he was nothing but a puddle of mush. "I left Whale Island a few months ago. I'm not sure when I'll be going back. I came to find you but now that I've found you, I'm staying with you for as long as you'll have me.
"I've realized all this time apart how much of my heart you've stolen. Stop making that face, yes, it's cheesy but it's the truth. And I know we have a lot of catching up to do. I know. I won't do anything you don't want to do even though I'm super selfish and I really want to kiss you right now. But, if you want me to stay, I'll stay. I'm not going back because you're my home. Just how Aunt Mito and Abe and Whale Island are my home. You're my home and I'll go anywhere you go."
Killua didn't know what to say.
There was still so much to tell Gon.
Everything that had happened to him after he left Whale Island two years ago, both physically and mentally by his family's hands, were still tender healing scars in his heart. He still woke up screaming sometimes, nightmares of them taking Alluka away from him so very petrifying. All of the trauma, as his therapist liked to call it, even though Killua called it "normal Zoldyck bonding time" would take decades for him to accept as things that happened to him as opposed to things that happened. And they were still fighting to gain freedom, with Bisky's help, so he and Alluka would never go through any of that again.
Killua would need time and space and patience with himself.
But Gon was looking at him like he was the only one.
And well, Killua could never resist him. To Killua, Gon was home first.
Tracing Gon's lips, knowing that Gon would stay no matter what ordeals they would need to overcome - they had promised they would travel the world together after all - Killua didn't need much more convincing.
He pressed their lips together, feeling Gon become pliant under his touch. They moved against each other, like wildfire, consuming everything in its path. It was a reckless kiss, biting and nipping and fighting for dominance. It was a competition, just like everything they did. And the nostalgia of it had Killua smiling, happiness a pink bubble around them. Their eager lips slowed down until all Killua could feel was light pressure from Gon, moving lazily against him.
"Is that a satisfying enough answer for you?" Killua smirked, pulling away from Gon's addicting lips.
Gon nodded, dazed. "Mhhm. I think I might need you to do it again. I couldn't really understand the first time."
Killua threw his head back in laughter. And he knew, deep down, that everything would be okay.
Since home is where the heart is.
And my heart belongs to Gon.
pro #5 - meeting gon & having a true home
eyy thanks for finishing this story it really means a lot to me! please don't be shy to comment or leave any other type of feedback. i love to hear from readers! this story was semi-inspired by elvis presley's song "home is where the heart is" and it's so sweet.