Can We Bee Friends?
Alex was in a rather sticky situation. Tulip was looking at him in askance. "And why is this my job? I know fuck all about honey and bees." This was not, in fact, close to the truth but Alex wasn't about to give Tulip an excuse to send him. Alex had a bee phase when he was six and knew every step of honey production…for small farms. Commercial production had been boring. Honestly, Alex still found the idea repulsive. Bees were living creatures and most ethical beekeepers did not make money. "You're one of our few agents that looks young enough for an internship."
Alex blinked. Wasn't that always the excuse? You look so young, Alex. Just one little favor, Alex. Alex grimaced. "Fine."
Tulip offered him a peppermint. Alex waved her off. Peppermints reminded him of her and MI6 by now. "Here's a briefing packet and please visit Smithers."
Alex sighed and resigned himself to calling animal rights activists if he got in trouble. He got a faster response time for spontaneous protest information on Twitter than he did for MI6's rescues. Alex was almost entirely sure that they'd be abusing the hives somehow. They'd probably try harder rescuing him, too. He took the familiar path to the elevator down to Smithers. Alex stepped cautiously into the office. He wasn't sure how to act now that he knew about the fat suit. "Alex, m'boy, I hear you're going to be happy on this little internship."
It took Alex a few seconds to realize the man was trying to be funny. He gave Smithers a soft grin. "What have you got for me today?"
Smithers beamed. Alex did genuinely enjoy the man's company. "Since you seem to gel well with my little pens, I've got some more for you."
Alex accepted an entire case of red and black gel pens and wondered if Smithers was trying to tell him something. Probably. "Thank you!"
Smithers beamed and rubbed his hands together. He pulled out a tube of what looked like lotion. It was entitled Bee Happy. Smithers gave him an amused look. "Nothing against you personally, my boy! It's just the sort of thing a teenage boy might carry at your age."
Alex wondered if the man knew what the lotion was normally used for. Probably. Smithers wasn't stupid. "Uh, thanks?"
Smithers looked amused at his reticence. "It functions as a bee repellent. Any bee within about five yards won't want anything to do with you."
Alex nodded. It would come in handy for the inevitable moment when he came across the hives mid-chase. At this point, Alex rather expected his missions to go wrong. "No request for a gun?"
Alex smirked slightly. Smithers flinched at the expression. Alex leaned over the desk far enough that Smithers could catch a glimpse of his not-at-all-legal handgun. "Between you and me, I've given up on asking."
Smithers blanched slightly but nodded. Alex knew that the man wouldn't rat him out. Smithers slid him a pencil case. "For your pens, m'boy. So they don't show up on x-ray."
Alex got the message loud and clear. The box was just barely big enough for his handgun and a bit of ammunition. There was even a compartment in the top to hold the pen separately. Good old Smithers. This was why Alex liked him the best out of everyone in MI6.
Alex sat through reading the files. It was a fairly large commercial operation for honey. A few people had fallen ill after consuming one of their newer products. Some sort of one-bloom honey. Alex internally cringed as he went on the ridiculous bee-themed website. They seemed to be trying for the small business aesthetic.
Alex looked around his room and pulled out his phone. He logged into Facebook and searched for some very specific Facebook group chats. He had some friends who might be interested in this little internship. Jones had not exactly been amused the last time that PETA had gotten there before MI6. Alex had told her to evacuate him faster than PETA, then. That had shut her up. She had muttered something about logistical issues under her breath and Alex had just looked at her. Look, there had been a very abused hippopotamus and it wasn't Alex's fault that PETA somehow found his video of people trying to feed prisoners to a hippo before MI6 did. The poor baby had whip scars and everything!
Alex leaned back in his chair. Going undercover at a Bee Happy Plant. Wish me luck, lol! There were about eight people who responded to Alex, though the last protest/breakout had at least twenty-five people in it. A few of them started messaging Alex relevant news articles about the bees and the company. There had been a hive die-off a few years ago. One of the older members immediately started ranting about commercial honey production. Alex got a few DMs wishing him luck and saying to ring if he found any trouble ;). Alex appreciated people who looked after his welfare. It was a bit sad that it was PETA who cared the most about his health at the moment. Alex had drifted away from most of his friends ages ago but being online found him new buddies.
PETA had found him via a short video of him freeing some horses that belonged to Brendan Chase ending up online for a few hours before being taken down. MI6 needed to up their game if they didn't want him running away with some of his new animal rights activist friends. Sure, they were a bit extreme sometimes but Alex felt like their hearts were in the right place. He had tried to get his animal-based goods from more ethical producers. He couldn't exactly go vegan at the moment. Even vegetarianism wasn't an option while undercover. Alex supposed he'd put it on the list for when he finally escaped MI6.
It was fairly late by the time that Alex had finished reviewing the mission materials to his satisfaction. There had been a bunch of bee facts that he had mostly been aware of. Then there had been Tulip's notes on the possibility of genetically modified bees having been created. Alex suspected that they were merely adulterating their honey with syrup. That said, he had met people who were crackpot enough to make a new species of bee just for giggles.
He sighed and rubbed his eyes. Alex wondered why he seemed to attract trouble and strange billionaires. Next was the bit about the internship MI6 had signed him up for. He was Alex Johnson, a student of biology. They had him down for various bee-related school clubs and volunteer opportunities, including a local 'save the bees' campaign. Honestly, Alex thought that some of them sounded genuinely interesting. He had also dressed up as a bee every year for Halloween since the age of six. Alex had snorted at that detail. There were different types of bees you could make into costumes if you were willing to make your own. His favorite movie was, of course, The Secret Life of Bees. Alex wondered if he was allowed to make his usual puns around his new employers. At least they didn't have him as a rebellious teen, for once. He had begun to get thoroughly sick of the cover. Being angry and confrontational took energy that Alex was not having.
He leaned back in his chair and sighed. Alex felt his back crack into place. He stood up and moved to get himself some nice tea. It was rare that people served him a blend he was fond of. And, if he heard one more Picard joke while being served Early Gray, somebody was getting stabbed. Painfully. In front of any witnesses that might happen to be there at the time. People were weird about their goddamn coffee addictions. Alex had never found a blend that he even remotely enjoyed. It all tasted like burned dirt. Plus, it gave him heartburn. The tea kettle whistled, interrupting his thoughts. Alex got up and made himself some lavender tea. It was supposed to be soothing or something but he just liked the taste. He made a mental note to set his alarm early enough to get to the train station on time.
Written for Prompt #78 by mediaboy. This is the 35th work in the Winds of Change 2022 Alex Rider Prompt event, where a new prompt (plus a short 1-3K work) is posted every day. For more details, see the AO3 collection :) Want to discuss? Leave a comment beneath, or join the discord (Link on AO3 Fics or just PM me, lol).