"What happens in the future?"

Lily would never forget the question, just like she would never forget anything else that had happened over that week. This particular moment was burned into her memory, because it was after it had happened the first time. She had been crying, silent sobs that made her whole body shake. It was a rare moment of quiet, of non-violence. She almost preferred the violence, because it was what she expected. It made sense.

"What happens?" Severus Prince repeated.

When she didn't answer, he forced her to her feet. She spat in his face, and it was briefly satisfying to see his surprise, before he hit her. She brought a hand up to her lip, and it came away red.

A laugh bubbled up. Lily wasn't sure where it came from, but she couldn't stop.

"What?" Severus Prince snarled.

"You die," Lily told him, through her helpless laughter. "You die, and your entire cause is destroyed. I learned about you in school, because muggleborns were allowed back to Hogwarts. All of this is for nothing. You lose. You're a footnote in a history book about a pathetic, lost cause."

She chose not to mention Lord Voldemort. She wanted to hurt Severus Prince, not to paint an accurate description of reality in the 1970s. She waited for his fury, for more violence. She was not prepared for the sudden pensive look that passed over his face, a face that so resembled her former friend.

"Thank you for telling me." He began to kiss her neck, holding her hands when she tried to shove him away.

"Lily," he murmured. "Lily…"

"Lily!"

She was jerked back to the present by James's hand on her elbow. She barely resisted the urge to step away.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

She couldn't tell him about it, or why it was on her mind. Severus Prince had been plotting something, she was sure of it, and she didn't want to worry James with that knowledge. Besides, James already looked at her as if she were some fragile thing on the verge of shattering, and she didn't want to burden him with more details of her week from hell.

"I was just thinking that I've never been on a ship before," she said.

Both of them knew she was lying, but James didn't call her out on it. Instead, he came to stand beside her at the rail of the ship, gazing out across the water. Duncan had only been able to get them a portkey to a port, and so they were taking a ship the rest of the way to France. They had set off perhaps an hour ago, and Lily could already tell that this ship was a bit too small, since she had no where to properly hide from concerned loved ones. Then again, she hadn't had any space to herself in the Ferguson castle, either. This ship was at least a slight improvement, if only because it was putting space between her and Severus Prince.

She glanced at James again. In the light wind from the sea, his hair was even more messy than usual. The autumn sunlight glinted off of his glasses and lit his face. Some of the tension of the past few days seemed to have finally ebbed away. But if Lily looked closely, she saw the deep circles under his eyes, and the stiff way he held himself reminded her that his body also hadn't healed from its ordeal.

He caught her looking at him and offered her a small, crooked smile.

"I've never been on a ship either. But it feels the closest to flying of any muggle transportation I've tried."

Tentatively, he put his hand over hers. After a second, Lily relaxed. Holding hands was okay, she reminded herself.

It was strange, she thought, how it felt like she and James were getting to know each other again. Everything about him was familiar, but she couldn't help feeling as though they'd lost something fundamental, and now they didn't quite fit together as they did before.

"I've been thinking…" she said.

James waited patiently. She swallowed hard.

"This marriage is just for now, and once we go back to 1978, we can part ways. I just wanted to remind you that we said that."

He stiffened. "You want to break up?"

"No! At least, I don't think so. I don't know."

James grip on her hand tightened slightly, and then he let go. "I'm here for you, no matter what you decide. Even if that means I'm just here for you as a friend."

The words came out with obvious difficulty.

"Thank you," she said quietly, her eyes stinging.

James turned to leave, but then he paused. "The one thing I'm sure about at the moment is you. It feels pretty awful that you don't feel the same way."

"James…"

He started to walk away, and she considered letting him go. She should have. Instead, she hurried after him.

"Wait…"

He stopped. His eyes were bright, and she felt like the worst person in the world.

"James, I do feel certain about you. But sooner or later, you're going to grow tired of me as I am now. You deserve someone better… someone who can be happy. You're too good for me to hold onto. It wouldn't be fair to you, and I love you too much to do that."

James shook his head. "That's ridiculous. You don't get to decide what makes me happy."

"But-"

"I've been in love with you for years. I'm not going to stop loving you now just because you went through something horrible. What sort of person do you think I am?"

Lily bit her lip. "Just… think about it. If you decide you want to start again in 1978, I won't be offended."

Embarrassingly, her voice caught on the last word, making it clear that the sentence was a lie.

"It's going to take a lot more than that to scare me away," James said flatly. "I'm in this for life. I always was. The only way to get rid of me is to tell me you want me gone."

Lily hesitated. "I think we should just… maybe keep our distance a bit in Paris."

"If that's what you want."

This time, Lily let him walk away. She turned back to the rail and cried.

"She wants you to 'keep your distance?'" Sirius's jaw dropped.

Cait was asleep after being ill for most of the afternoon, and Lily was still up above, leaving James and Sirius alone in their cabin.

James took off his glasses to wipe at his eyes.

"Sorry. I know it's pathetic," he muttered. "I shouldn't be crying."

"Keep your distance. What does that even mean?" Sirius demanded.

"I'm not sure, really," James said miserably.

"But that's bullshit!"

At least one good thing had come out of this. For the first time in a while, things felt normal between James and Sirius again. He had been a bit reluctant to tell Sirius his romantic woes, but he'd had no one else to turn to, and it was a relief to hear Sirius react as he normally would.

"What are you going to do?" Sirius asked.

"There's nothing I can do," James said flatly. "I'll just have to try to keep my distance and hope she changes her mind, I guess."

"You're not going to fight for her?"

"I can't… it wouldn't be right," James said. "I have to think about Lily. If she wants me to keep my distance, there's a reason."

Sirius shook his head. "Only an idiot would give you up."

All at once, James felt a bit uncomfortable.

"Thanks, Sirius," he said.

But the awkwardness stretched between them, and so James made an excuse and left. The only problem was that there was nowhere to go except to the deck, where Lily was. He stood on the stairs for a few minutes, trying hard not to cry. How had everything gone so wrong? How had he somehow lost the people he cared about the most in a matter of weeks?