Rose and her boyfriend Jake were chilling at his new apartment. Rose needed a serious break. Rose Hunter's family kept driving her up a wall. Yet again, they expected her to do everything. Her entitled, selfish and abusive family was asking the impossible from her.
Her mother, Iris, kept insisting she 'let go' of the past. That she let bygones be bygones, that the rest of the family had 'changed.' And it was time to forgive and forget. But as Rose ranted to her boyfriend, how could she forgive them? Especially for behavior that they'd never taken accountability for. Nor did they apologize and honestly had no intention of stopping.
If she 'forgave' them? That felt like giving them yet another free pass. They still wouldn't suffer any consequences for their actions. Yet she wouldn't be 'free' as you should be when you forgive.
How can you be free of toxic people kept up their negative behavior? Her entire life, her family, had abused her in every sense of the word. Blamed her for everything and not ONCE had any of them taken accountability or apologized to her.
Therefore again, why should she forgive them? Forgiveness wouldn't set her free if the behavior continued. Her twin sister remained a rude, lying, violent bitch. A grown woman who threw tantrums insulted people everywhere. And then lied her ass off online? Claiming it was her sister being mean.
Rose had NEVER harassed her sister. Nor had she physically abused her. Yet, every single time she'd ever tried to talk to her sister about the issues? Lily acted like she was speaking another language. Plus, again never took accountability for anyone she'd physically assaulted. And she had attacked people more then once!
Yet in Lily's mind? It was always the victim's fault, never hers! Also, her mother, Iris, wasn't much better. So how is her twin sister got to throw a tantrum when someone blocked her, and Rose truthfully told her it wasn't any of her business? Yet Lily kept screaming, and then her mother slapped Rose?
When the police did get involved? They told her mom Iris she committed assault. Her mother just replied, "How else was I supposed to get her to shut up!" And they expect her to forgive them?! Forgive them for what? A lifetime of abuse that they refuse to own up to? That they have no intention of stopping?
It's not in the past, for it still happens in the present. Also, her entire life, Rose did everything, but no one else in the family ever did anything to improve the relationship. So again, she's always expected to be 'the bigger person," and again, "forgive and forget?!"
Hell no! She didn't care how many people preached that you should forgive everyone for their misdeeds if people didn't show remorse or have enough self-awareness despite being well informed of the problems.
So no, Rose didn't care what others said that you should always forgive! Some things are just genuinely unforgivable. If her family refused to acknowledge or do anything about their abusive actions? They could forget getting her forgiveness. Because again, forgiving them honestly wouldn't do Rose any good.
It just granted her family a free pass to keep up their abusive actions, which they had no intention of stopping again. So it'd be a cold day in hell when she forgave them!
Apologies and asking for forgiveness are not the same.
Saying "I'm sorry" doesn't make you free of guilt. And forgiveness doesn't mean that harm has not been done.
An apology means that you are sorry for the transgression. But asking for forgiveness shows your relationship is more important then your ego that you hope to recover the respect that may have been lost because of the transgression.
Acknowledgment of wrongdoing is powerful. But humility demonstrated in asking for forgiveness is when you courageously evoke your greatest strength.